Lucien’s Mish-Mash of Random Thoughts, #3

Another night where I am feeling pensive, another night where I wish that so many of my problems would disappear. It’s frustrating in the extreme, but there’s nothing I can do about it. At least not until I get a call confirming that I have a job. Had a ton of interviews at hospitals in the area that I am moving, but no job offers. Not to mention that one of them with a HUGE network of hospitals won’t even give me a call because they won’t even process the applications. I’ve been waiting for over three months for some of them! And why? Because COVID. That’s the go-to excuse for so many employers about their slow ass. Not to mention slow ass government agencies. My partner has been waiting for her money from her home state’s unemployment ever since February of last year.

Moving is tedious and nerve-wracking and I have a thousand and one questions and I have no idea what to do with them and it’s genuinely got me feeling like I just want to say “fuck it” and give up this effort. But my partner is hella excited and so I keep going. It’s all about making the people we love happy.  That isn’t fair, though.  I have been wanting this for years.  It’s just the uncertainty of not having a job worked out by then is nerve-wracking.  Plus, rent is WAY higher than I would have liked, but the alternative was to live in a fucking dump.  So you do what you can.  It’s so soon from now, but I don’t feel ready.  Not by a long shot.  I guess you could say that I’m scared.

On to less unhappy subjects, I have seen the new promotional material for Netflix’s addition to the endless abortion of live-action anime adaptations.  This time, they are doing it to my favorite anime of all time – Cowboy Bebop.  The stuff I have seen looks just awful.  Do I care that they made Jet Black into a black guy?  No.  Beneath my concern.  I do feel bad for John Cho who they got to play Spike Spiegel.  The look and name of the character implicates a Jewish heritage.  First Asian Jew I will have ever seen.  Cho is a good actor, and for the life of me, I have no clue what he is doing in this trash fire.  But then there is what they did with Faye Valentine.  One of the things about Faye is that her character was easily the best fan service character ever, because she was fan service with a TON of personality to go with it.  Her sexuality wasn’t just something there, she used it.  She was a manipulative bitch who exploited how horny men are for her own benefits.

Well, the fact that they turned her into a fugly she-devil didn’t mean all that much for me.  When I read that Ein wasn’t even a corgi anymore, I realized that this series was dead before it arrived.  Not to mention, not seeing anything of Ed.  Did they just not know how to make that character into someone likeable in live action, so they had to just write her out of the series altogether?  Doesn’t surprise me. 

However, as with EVERY time the fans of something see the live-action abortion that it is turned into and are understandably turned off of it and take their complaints online, the people making this show decided that they were going to shit on the fanbase.  Namely, the woman playing Faye.  Her salt has become the latest in a long string of yelling about how the fanbase of something is bad, when one is hoping to appeal to that fanbase to watch their live-action trash.  Putting it on Netflix is probably the only saving this garbage.  After all, since they never release their numbers of what their viewership actually is, we will never know what people actually think of it.  Meanwhile, the Twitter checkmarks get to talk about how much proof it is that anime is for manbabies while they make stuff that shits all over brilliant and thematic source material.  Gotta love modern Hollywood.

And don’t even get me started on the promotional material for Netflix’s Avatar: The Last Airbender dumpster fire.  Why does Hollywood keep doing this?!  Why do they continually make live-action remakes of stuff that is cool for the express purpose of it being animated?  What is this need to make live-action versions of animation?  Is it because animation is seen as for children?  Yeah, because Cowboy Bebop is definitely a show for little kids.  Especially the one where Vicious slits a guy’s throat and has his dead body in an opera where he captures Faye.  Totally something that a little kid would like.

Speaking of reboots that miss out on the meaning of things, you see the trailer for the Saints Row reboot?  It looks like Fortnite, and according to the devs, the comedic edge of the franchise is all gone now.  In its place, there will be a more “contemporary story.”  One that doesn’t have anything that might offend anyone else.  Because what could be more Saints Row than a game that is bland and boring and inoffensive!  Diet Saints Row!  All the original price, with none of the actual quality!  Oh boy, that sounds like it will be the best.

I read an article in my local newspaper about a brother and sister who were kicked out of a school for refusing to wear a mask for “religious reasons.”  Listening to these pretentious fucking kids talk about their reasoning just pissed me off.  Apparently, man is made in God’s image, and Satan wants to keep that covered.  Ugh!  For all the religious morons who think this way, I got a little thing for you.  One, your God’s not real, so shut the fuck up.  Two, your right to punch ends at my face.  So, in that vein, your right to do whatever stupid thing you want to do for your precious “freedom” ends when you can potentially do harm to someone else.  I bet you these retard kids and their equally retarded parents believe the vaccine is evil, so these two brain-dead dipsticks are a potential vector for infection.

Their right to their religious values and imposing that on other people ends at the people who they would potentially hurt.  If their actions endanger someone else, then yeah, the school has EVERY right to say that they can’t come back.  Go to some Christian school where they will kiss your religion’s ass.  As for me, I am done with that garbage.  Fuck these kids and fuck their Christian values too.

Did you all hear about how Activision Blizzard are trying to destroy evidence?  Yeah, word got out that they are shredding documents and deliberately not complying with the DEFH in providing the information requested.  This shit-show is beautiful to watch.  A company that had such a toxic atmosphere for years, now being undone by their own corporate structure where everything is for the good for the corp is beautiful.  By the end of this, someone is going to jail.  I can’t wait to see who it is.  Of course, Activision Blizzard denies this allegation, but with all the things they have lied about up ’til now, I don’t for one minute believe a word that comes out of their mouths.  They hired a law firm to help them change for the better, and it got out that it’s a union-busting firm.  Yup, it’s clear how they see things.  I already don’t buy their games, but this is more reason for me to never do so.  These people make garbage.

That’s all the random thoughts for tonight.  I may have more tomorrow, so this post might be updated.  Hopefully you all are well and staying safe now that things are getting ugly again. 

Until next time, a quote,

“Don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.” – Unknown

Peace out,

Maverick

A Mental Enigma (Act I, Scene V)

Every day was always a little different for Sister Sarah.  That was by her own design.  In her mind, if ever there was a point that things were always the same, then she’d get into a rut.  The goal was to expand her mind and see things in a new way each morning.  That wasn’t always easy, but she did the best she could.  Even if it was something very small, like walking on a different side of the path than the one she usually did, it was something that made that day special.
This attitude was the same that she carried to her work at the Academy.  Like most of the Sisters in this place, she came into her job looking after the students with a mindset of wanting to set a good example and help these girls on their journey into womanhood.  It was a long journey, and one that was fraught with distractions/perils.  Growing up in the suburbs of Albuquerque, she’d seen so many girls give in to drugs, sex, and rock & roll.  Coming from the 70’s, when drug culture was out of control, she had her own stories that she wasn’t proud of.  Ones that nobody would ever know, save for those who were there.
She joined the Catholic Church when she was 25.  It took her hitting absolute rock bottom to come to God and want to seek forgiveness for her sins.  After months of prayer, she became a Sister, taking the habit.  It was the only way she could live with what she had done.  You’d think, coming from such a background, she would be as judgmental as her supervisor – Sister Margaret.  But she looked on the girls of this Academy with an eye of sympathy and understanding.  Everyone is different, and you have to embrace those differences, rather than shirk them.  People have to come to the Lord and go through life in their own way.
When she first met Quinn, she was a scared girl who was nervous around everyone.  Such a frail little body.  And a burn mark on her shoulder, like a cattle brand, seared into her skin.  From the days in the hospital, with police badgering her with questions, none of which she had the answers to.  Father McCormick was there through most of it, and when he wasn’t able to be, Sister Sarah volunteered to take his post.
The girl claimed to have absolutely no memory of any kind of her life before they found her.  The doctor thought it was a result of nearly drowning/freezing to death.  Her body was so close to death when they got her to the hospital that it was a genuine miracle from Mother Mary that she came back from the abyss.  Some people, namely Sister Margaret, were skeptical of this.
“How could she not remember being branded?!” they would ask.
Part of Sarah wanted to think that the girl didn’t want to remember.  Who would?  The story behind that mark couldn’t be good.  A cult?  Seemed likely.  Some poor little girl who escaped from a place where God-knows what was done to her.  It didn’t matter.  Now she was here, and it was their duty as caretakers of these girls to make sure she fit in.
Which was what made it ever-the-more frustrating how Quinn and Sister Margaret consistently butted heads.  For the life of her, Sarah couldn’t figure out where her deal is.  Was it because she was so close to Father McCormick?  Was it really something as simple as jealousy?  That’s a sin, after all.  A petty one, too.  No matter what she did, the Sister was attacking her.  Her uniform wasn’t pressed – demerits.  She wasn’t wearing the white shirt under her uniform jacket – demerits.  She listened to music too loud – demerits.  Her music wasn’t appropriate – demerits.  Her attitude was improper – demerits.  There were days when the Sister would lay into her and as she passed, it was all over her face that if she could, Quinn would punch her square in the face.
Father McCormick tried to keep the peace.  The constant back and forth, with Sister Margaret running to him to lay down punishment on her was tedious, and he clearly was almost through with it.  It didn’t help that Quinn was almost-openly instigating her now.  Knowing how much it made the Sister mad, she seemed to take some twisted pleasure.  This side of her did worry Sarah a little.  It was shameful, and surely something the Good Lord would not smile upon.  But what could anyone do?  It seemed this wouldn’t end until either Sister Margaret was fired, or Quinn was expelled.  There seemed to be nothing else that would resolve the conflict.  Two people meant to hate each other.

One might imagine how much pleasure Sister Margaret took in laying into Quinn when she got back from skipping to look after her friend.  The lecture went on damn-near all night.  Hours upon hours of being told how this was unbecoming of a student of the Academy, how it was sinful to be truant, how looking after a friend was not good enough of an excuse, it became a sermon after a while.  She was sentenced to two weeks in detention.
What surprised Sarah as she saw Quinn leaving the room wasn’t the fact that she looked unphased.  It was that she looked pleased.  This kind of winsome look.
Catching up to her, Sarah gave her a smile.  “What are you grinning about?”
Looking over at her, the expression went back to its usual cold, neutral one.  “Nothing.”
“I saw you, Quinndolyn.  You were smiling.”
“Clearly you were seeing things.  Might want to look into that.”
It was obvious she wasn’t going to get a straight answer.  But maybe there was another way around this.
“So, out looking after a classmate, eh?”
She just shrugged.  “It was no big thing.  We met the other day and she was pretty okay.  Asked me if I could help her since she wasn’t feeling good.  Beat being in class.”
A frown came to the Sister’s face.  “Don’t let Sister Margaret hear you say that.  She’d be livid.”
Quinn rolled her eyes.  “When isn’t she?”
“Not often.  At least not where you are concerned,” Sarah sighed.
“It’s cool.  Two weeks of detention is nothing new.  I got this.”
It was then that Sarah noticed something.  “You’re wearing the white shirt!  Lord be praised!  I didn’t think the day would ever come where I’d actually see you in proper school uniform.”
Rolled her eyes again.  “It’s no big deal.”
Just a smile back.  “If you’re wearing it tomorrow, I don’t know.”
Eyes like steel, Quinn looked at her.  “Don’t get your hopes up.”

Walking into her dorm room, Quinn immediately wanted to remove the white shirt.  Now one person had made a big deal about it.  It annoyed her.  It’s a fucking shirt, she thought.  Throwing it to the floor, she pulled out her tanktop.  Then lost the skirt and put on a pair of sweats.  Kaye looked up from her textbook.
“So?  What’s the verdict?”
“Two weeks in detention.”
Her roommate frowned.  “Oh geez.  That sucks.”
Just a shrug.  “It’s cool.  Just means I get to spend more ‘quality’ time with Sister Margaret.  I’m sure she’ll get Eve and her little cronies to join in the fun.”
Of all the students at the Oceanview Academy of St. Galentine, Eve Harper and her posse was the only ones who actually bothered Quinn.  For whatever reason: a girl who is as rich as her, and imbued with flunkies who make sure her academics are always in the top five percent of her class, saw fit to make Quinn her personal target of ridicule.  Since she kept her hair perpetually short, the most common was to call her a dyke.  Or at least allude to her being a lesbian.  You wouldn’t think that would mean much.  It is the 90’s, after all.  Times were changing.  But in a Catholic School, being accused of gayness was basically social suicide.  It was never something she placed any credence in.  Truth be told, she hadn’t felt much of anything regarding romantic or sexual attraction to anyone.  Between her studies, gambling habits, and lack of a social life, it never came up.  Maybe now that she had some actual friends, she could review this for further study.  Is that how love works?  Like something clinical?  Questions that just made her uncomfortable.
Kaye sat up, frowning deeper.  “I don’t know why people are so mean to you.  You should hear some of the stuff they say about you out there.  ‘She’s a bitch.’  ‘She think she’s so smart.’  ‘She’s…’”  It was clear she was really uncomfortable with the next bit.
“She’s a dyke.  Trust me, I know what they say.  I may look like I’m in my own little world, but the truth is that there isn’t much of anything I miss.”  Quinn’s expression got dark.
Her roomie got up, sitting on the floor beside the bed, next to her.  “It’s so mean.  These girls are wealthy.  They could have whatever they want.  I don’t get why they have to put you down.”
Pulling a coin out of her pocket, she flipped it between her fingers.  “It’s not that complicated.  I’m a threat to them.  I never pay attention in class, don’t raise my hand, don’t participate in the school stuff in any way, yet I’m at the top of all academics I’m involved with.  I have teachers begging me to join this club or that so they could have a winning player on their team, and I blow them off without a second thought.  While they are busy kissing the ass of everyone they can and watching me push past them.  And I’m a poor girl who was given a spot here while their rich families had to pay for it or they had to work for it.  The reason why they hate me is no mystery.”
Looking over at her, Kaye smiled.  “I don’t think you’re as tough as you front, you know.”
Dropping the coin, she looked up in shock.  “What?”
“I saw you with Lisa.  Saw how happy you looked.  Some part of you wants people to like you.”
Was she right?  The words reached her, but processing them was a different story.  There was some truth to it.  Her time out with Lisa had been the most fun she had had in ages.  Not like winning at gambling.  A different kind of fun.  That was intellectual.  This was…personal?  Yeah, personal.  It made a warm feeling spread through her.
The warm feeling didn’t stop the cold look on her face.  “Very specific people.  People I deem worthy.  Couldn’t give less of a fuck if Eve and her groupies like me.”
“Okay.  I get that.”  A little smirk.  “Am I worthy?”
Quinn got a sly look.  “Maybe.  Still figuring you out.”
Her roomie got a grumpy expression.  “What does that mean?”
“Well, if you wanna be friends with me, there’s gotta be something wrong with you.”
The two of them laughed.

Days went by, such as they do.  Life at the Academy was settling into a rhythm.  Having won big, Quinn’s appetite for victory was sated.  Though she knew that it wouldn’t be long before she would have to go back for more.  The itch grew with each day.  However, this new life with her companions definitely dulled it.  When she wasn’t sitting in detention with Sister Margaret or whatever teacher/Sister she got to look after her, she would be spending time with them.  Both of her two new friends were very different people.
Kaye was a physical sort of person.  She was a fast runner, and her athletics were definitely part of her life.  Already she had signed up for the Academy’s soccer team.  The school game was coming up, which Quinn dreaded.  Nowhere was her lack of physical ability more on display than at these games.  It seemed her new roommate also had something of the shutterbug, with a really nice camera.  She joined the photography club almost the first day she was there.  There were laughs as she would be taking pictures and Quinn chided her.
“So artsy,” she would say.  Having someone that she could banter and give shit to definitely felt good.  Their back-and-forth made sharing a room that much easier.
Lisa, on the other hand, was so different.  An eye for technology, and able to talk people’s ears off about it, she definitely had a career ahead of her.  The fact that she was stuck in a chair meant that she would spend a lot of time reading.  She could quote the latest tech magazine, along with the latest health journal.  It was genuinely inspiring that a girl at the tender age of 14 was already so well-read and an academic, without all the pretentiousness.
The two would be in the library, doing homework or just talking about their academic pursuits.  Quinn had even started playing chess with her.  Unsurprisingly, she mopped the floor with both her companions, but Lisa was improving.  With enough practice, there was hope that she would be a challenge.  Or at least keep her on her toes.  One could dream, right?

As fate would have it, the first school soccer game of the year came faster than anyone expected.  The weather was gorgeous, and in Washington you have to act fast if things are looking good.  You never know when it could change.  Rain is a fickle mistress on the West Coast.
The whole school was pumped.  One of the things that the three of Quinn’s crew would do is be out on the lawn, with Kaye practicing and the other two watching.
“Aren’t you going to have to play?” Lisa asked, looking at Quinn.
“Yeah…” Her expression couldn’t have been more dim.
“Shouldn’t you be practicing?”
Giving her a cold expression.  “I participate only to the extent that I have to.  The team captains always know to just keep me out of the way.  That’s how it always goes, and I’m fine with that.”
Seeing that this line of inquiry was just going to get ugly, Lisa turned to Kaye.  “Well, I’ll be rooting for you!  You look like you go this.”
“Word!” she shouted back, dribbling the ball.
Looking over at her, Quinn just groaned.  This was going to suck.  Beyond any doubt, it was completely going to suck.

That afternoon, everyone was in the PE clothes.  They were blue and white.  Just wonderful for being outside and playing on the grass – clothes that every grass stain would show through.  The girls were split up into four teams.  Enough so that this could go on the whole rest of the afternoon.  Fate dealt another hand where Kaye was on the same team as her.  This excited her immensely, but for Quinn, this was all just another day at the races.
Intellectually, she had tried to see a way around this.  After all, it is a game, right?  If you are intelligent enough, you could conceivably destroy your opponents like any other.  Were it that she was made team captain, or given some kind of ability to give tactical advice, she very well could actually excel in this sport.  Watching the girls play, she could easily tell who had what advantage and who had what disadvantage.  This game was mostly about having your players go up against those they would excel again.  Like chess, one could reasonably make a battle plan and execute it to the point that they could defeat the opposition easily, and quickly.
The fact that her reputation was grim around the school and that she was treated like the bitch stepchild by her compatriots made it so that she would never enjoy such a position.  A shame, too, because the concept did make her smile in thinking about what strategies she would use.  Plenty of these girls had skill.  Proper coordination and crucial planning, with some amount of luck factored in, would make for exciting plays to watch.
First up was two of the teams that were not theirs.  They were next, against the other team sitting this one out.  While she couldn’t be a tactician, she took in everything.  One of the girls was slow on her left.  An old injury?  Another had slower reaction time.  They could dribble around her without difficulty.  Kaye seemed to show some skill in that regard.  The goalie was skilled.  A problem.  Would need someone who could throw them off-guard.  Maybe this sports thing wasn’t so awful after all.  Then she remembered – she had to play at some point.
Looking across the field, she saw the bane of her existence – Eve Harper.  She was sitting with her crew, staring right at her.  So she was on the team they were facing next.  Uh-oh.  This really, really couldn’t be good.  A beautiful girl with shiny black hair, tied up in a ponytail behind her head.  Makeup done just so.  No wonder boys always fawned all over her, if the stories were to be believed.  It was a bitter, tragic irony that she was not only done like a princess, but just happened to be good at athletics.  Whatever was coming next, it was going to be bad.
The first game ended, now they were up.
Kaye looked over at Quinn.  “Just stick with me.  We can do this!”
So genuinely sweet.  Not an ounce of sarcasm.  Doing the math in her mind, Quinn knew that what she said was 100% bullshit, but it felt nice all the same.
“I’ll hold you to that,” was all she got out.

Both sides squared off.  Since her lack of athletic skill was known, team captain didn’t put her in at first.  Fine by her.  The battle was on!  Their team was the blue jerseys.  Their enemy was the whites.  At first, they seemed evenly matched.  Kaye was every bit the player she aspired to be.  It seemed she was also bit on taking the offensive.  It really did look like two armies doing battle over a white and black ball.
Paying careful attention, Quinn saw something – a brunette girl who was fast but could be easily dribbled around as she had a habit of getting her feet mixed up.  It was something she tried to hide, but the tells were there.  This was like poker!  How could she impart this to the team captain in a way that they would listen?
“Hey Jen?  You see the way that girl is always slow about turning?  It’s like she’s trying to be careful about moving.  That’s weird, right?”
Looking over, the wheels in the captain’s head were turning.  Then she nodded.  “Hey yeah!  Time out!”
Everyone ran over.
“See how Brittney takes a couple seconds to turn around when people get past her?  Let’s use that!” the captain said.  “We can totally dribble past her and then it’s just past the defender on the right!  It’s a clear shot!”
Everyone was nodding, looking at the captain like she had just had the most brilliant idea.  Kaye, on the other hand, was looking right at Quinn, who gave a little wink.  Maybe her mind wasn’t totally wasted on this game.
They broke, and the game was back on.  Very fast, it was clear that their strategy had changed, and the enemy wasn’t blind.  Kaye was exploiting this opening for all it was worth.  Within a few minutes, they had put two more points on the board.  It wasn’t huge, but so long as the enemy couldn’t find an opening of their own, it was still scoring.  The game was 4 to 1.
Seeing that their player’s opening was exploited, the enemy called Brittney in.  Guess that opening was out.  There had to be another.  With the game back to a very cold and strategic thing, Quinn looked across the field.  Something was there, she just wasn’t looking hard enough.  A black girl was passed the ball from Kaye, on her way to the goal.  Nice!  As she kicked it, the goalie blocked the shot.  However, just as they caught the ball, she noticed something.  The girl had this momentary loss of balance.  It was a small thing.  Too small?  Maybe.
The other team called a Time Out.  As they came in, Quinn motioned for Kaye to come over.
“See the goalie?  They are slower when the ball’s coming in from the right.  I’m thinking it’s something to do with her vision.  Like she can’t see as well from her left eye as her right.  Maybe I’m wrong, but I think this can be exploited!”
Looking over at the enemy goal, Kaye nodded.  “I got this!”
“Kick ass!”
“Yes ma’am!”
Back into the game, and it was on.  The enemy had the ball.  Black girl had skill.  She stole it from them, making her way down.  Past one of the defenders.  Just then, Kaye whistled at her.  The girl understood, passing the ball.  The roomie made like she was going to go for the left, then stopped and hit the ball toward the right.  Score!  5 to 1 now!  A dark smile came to Quinn’s face.  Her tactical mind wasn’t wasted now.
From across the field, Eve saw the look on Quinn’s face.  That bitch!  So, she was the one giving them all good information.  She’d have to be on the field at some point.  When she was, she’d get her.

Halftime, and now the teams had to change up.  This meant that Quinn had to go out there.  All the joyful exuberance of the last few minutes was gone.  There was no way she could get an accurate read on the situation from out on the field.  Her only rational course of action was to just do the best she could and accept that she was completely outmatched.  The team captain had wisely placed her as a defender.  That was smart.  It was a do-nothing job, most of the time.
Battle was joined, and at first it seemed like any other game.  Sometimes it would go one way, sometimes another.  Her and the other defender kept their position, as rules dictated how far they could go.  However, Quinn couldn’t shake this feeling that something bad was in the air.  What was it?  Eve was one of the attackers.  That didn’t bode well.  Some of the looks she caught made her get the feeling of being hunted.  But how?  What could that unpleasant female possibly do to her in the middle of a soccer game?  It wasn’t like she could be blatantly physical.  That would get her in trouble.  This girl wasn’t stupid enough to do something that blunt in front of the whole school.  It became a battle of wits to try and figure out what her nemesis was going to do.
Turns out, the answer to this problem wasn’t nearly as complicated as she thought.  Eve had the ball and was making a run at the goal.  At first, she made like she was heading right at it, all but ignoring Quinn.  Would be the smart thing to do.  She was so frail and pathetic, why even bother pretending to be trying to get past her?  The bitch came at her as she was supposed to do, but Eve looked to her right and saw one of her teammates motioning for her to pass the ball.  This was it!  Dribbling back, she made like she was going to pass.  Just then, she notched her foot under the ball, kicked it up, and with maximum force hit it as hard as she possibly could.
The ball tagged Quinn right in the face.  She went down like a sack of potatoes.  Blood was pouring out of her nose.  The girl didn’t move when she hit the ground.  Everyone was on their feet.  Kaye was running over, sliding down next to her fallen roommate.  She screamed her name, picking her head up.  Clearly disoriented, and in a lot of pain, Quinn looked up.
Sister Sarah was already on the field, heading right at Eve.  “Explain yourself, young lady!”
“I didn’t mean for that to happen, Sister!  I swear, I was trying to pass to Alicia!  My foot slipped as I was dribbling!  Oh Lord, is she okay?”
It was clear that Sarah didn’t buy a word out of her mouth, but there was no proof it was intentional.  So many awful people here.  Kaye picked up her fallen friend, helping her to her feet.  Taking an arm and wrapping it around her shoulder, they started walking off the field.
“Get her to the nurse’s office!” Sarah commanded.  Turning to face Eve.  “I’m going to take this to Father McCormick.  We’ll see if he believes your story.”
She played innocent so well, looking so wronged.
As Quinn was hobbling off the stage, blood and tears streaming down her face, she took a look back at the girl who kicked the ball in her face.  For a split-second, she could see a look of sweet victory on her face.  In that moment, she knew what she had to do.  It was time to make this woman pay.  She was the most intelligent person she had ever met.  If anyone could figure out a way to truly destroy this woman, it was her.  It created this warm, fuzzy feeling inside.  Something about the idea of crushing someone who was her enemy felt strangely, familiar.  But why?

It seemed that the injuries were mostly superficial.  Thankfully, she was spared a broken nose, but it had bled something fierce.  The blood loss caused some anemia, and she was released to go back to her room and rest.  As it was the end of the week, she didn’t have to worry about class the next day.
Kaye took her back and lay her down.  Taking her shoes off, Quinn just curled into a ball and turned her back to her roommate.  She didn’t want to be seen like this.  Broken and pathetic.  In that moment, she understood what sunglasses had been feeling back at the gambling parlor.  Her pride was wrapped up in all this.
“You did really well out there today, Quinn,” Kaye said.  “I just thought you should know that.”
“Kaye…leave me alone for a while, alright?  Please.”
Now it was her turn to be on the verge of tears.  “I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong…”

As her eyes closed, she saw something.  A room filled with children.  They were her age.  So young.  Who were they?  Inside there was a woman in a white coat.  Her hair was golden, with brown eyes and soft creamy skin.  Who was she?  Something told her that this was a bad person, and she needed to go away.  Looking down, there were logic puzzles in front of her.  Ones that no child this age would be expected to do.  What was this?  All the kids looked scared.   Where was she?
“Quinn?” the woman said, coming over.  “Why did you stop working on your test.  Is something wrong?”
Wishing she could disappear.  “No, Ms. Katya.  Nothing’s wrong.”
Looking sternly at her.  “Then finish your test.”
“Yes ma’am…”

Sitting up with a start, the fear inside gripped her more than the pain in her face.  A thousand emotions went through her mind, but one thing in-particular.  She knew that she had remembered something.  For the first time in two years, she had remembered something.

Until next time, a quote,

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.” – Klingon Proverb

Peace out,

Maverick

Facebook, “Ban Bossy” and Cognitive Dissonance (A Response to Hadley Freeman)

So, if you’re like me and like to keep up-to-date on current events, so you can actually know why the world is going to shit, then you have been seeing the story about the Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg and her mission to “ban bossy.”  A campaign that is about as backwards and filled with cognitive dissonance as is possible.  I haven’t really commented on that, because I didn’t have an angle that I wanted to talk about it with.  However, after reading an article in the print version of The Guardian by a very feminist author, Hadley Freeman, I’ve found the angle I want to attack this with.  Here’s a link to her article, so you can see that I’m not just pulling this out of the ether.  Context matters, though don’t tell that to the Tumblr feminist crowd.

Freeman seems to believe that this whole “ban bossy” campaign is a “good start.”  I guess she has the same cognitive dissonance that the people who thought up this flawed idea have.  For starters, it isn’t bossy that they want to ban.  For real, that means nothing.  Not one tiny thing.  The word they really want to ban, and I know this will damage people’s comfort zone, is “bitch.”  They’re tired of girls being called bitches, but are rephrasing it so they can have a clever ad for their new campaign.  Because, after all, it’s hard to advertise not calling girls and women bitches.  Especially since some actually are.  And before you go off on me, it isn’t guys who go after women the hardest.  For real, in all the “patriarchy” and “rape culture” that these women talk about, the people who go after women the hardest and the most viciously are other women.  Neat little fact, there.

However, there is a lot of cognitive dissonance with this idea.  Sandberg is quoted as saying that girls want less leadership positions than boys by the time they reach middle school.  Uh, who cares?  For real, are we supposed to force girls to want to do something they don’t want to do?  Do you believe that enforcing your ideas on to young girls is the correct way to go about this, rather than letting them find their own preferences?  I mean, if the argument is that modern education is flawed in that regard, I’m with you.  Though, not for the reasons you think.  I’m with you in that we are forcing children to take drugs, constantly think about adulthood and don’t teach empathy and critical thinking in the way we teach tests.  We are stripping away the childhoods of the modern youth, because parents think that their little boy or girl staring out the window and dreaming of better things requires ritalin.  By the way, that’s not without context.  One of the biggest drugs selling right now is ritalin.  Sad, but true.  But I will save the best piece of cognitive dissonance for the end, so you all can understand just how flawed this is.  We have another fish to fry first.

As if to make my point, Freeman’s article kind of drives it home.  She has a point-by-point list of things she wants to have in schools.  I’ll keep to her style and debunk them individually.

  • Make feminism part of the national curriculum

Um, how about no?  For real, how about we don’t force an ideological idea on to children.  Here’s what we should do – teach and encourage children to think for themselves.  Get rid of these stupid fucking tests (or at least stop teaching them) and instead focus on actual discussion about topics.  Get English classes to talk about what they are learning and let the kids actually have a voice.  One of the biggest problems in modern education is that children don’t have a voice, in this country and in others in the First World.  Though I am focusing on here in the States.

Bringing in this ideological discussion will do nothing to help your cause.  It’s no better than if we bring religion into the classroom.  If you want a class in high school for women’s studies or feminism, that’s fine, but make it the children’s choice, instead of foisting it on them.  Isn’t that a better idea than having a teacher get up at the beginning of class and saying,

Alright, students.  Today we’re going to be talking about feminism, because we are requiring you to learn it.

Don’t you see how telling kids that we want them to learn something, instead of letting them find their own preferences, is going to be a turn-off.  Now, there are some things that a kid has to know, like history, mathematics, science and the like.  With math, I have met two children in my entire time growing up who liked it.  You can’t do much about that.  But even with history and science, there is room for discussion and to let kids find their own thing to enjoy.  We shouldn’t have this blank-statement of “you must learn feminism!” for the modern youth.

  • Get impressive kickass women to talk to them.

Yeah, I got no problem with that.  So long as we get impressive guys to do so too.  A balance should exist.  Though, and this is speaking from my experience growing up, I hated people just talking to us, unless what they were talking about something that interested me.  I don’t care if they had so much success and were great leaders, unless they did something that I find impressive.  I guarantee you that other kids think the same way.  So yeah, bring people in to talk, but make sure that they have something neat to say, other than “be a leader!”  I mean to end this showing you why that doesn’t work.

  • Nutrition should be a part of the national curriculum

I don’t even get how that ties in.  And once again, how about no?  How about we teach kids about nutrition in science classes and health classes in middle and high school?  Don’t just foist knowledge on little kids.  Trust me, unless you ritalin the shit out of them, it won’t stick.

  • Ban all magazines and newspapers from the school that talk about diets, celebrity body shapes and sex lives, and Kate Middleton

Back in high school, there was this ban on soda and candy, which made a lot of kids angry.  We like our unhealthy things.  A kid who is at school at 7 in the morning wants their caffeine.  Nothing wrong with that.  However, for me and my friends, this started a new market for us – underground candy and soda.  Since my high school was a closed campus, students couldn’t walk down the road at lunch and get some from Carr’s.  We made a killing.  It started an amusing series of candy and soda wars between the various sellers.  The Girl Scouts were a tough opponent who held their own in the wars.  The band was a bunch of little pussies who couldn’t do anything and we let them know where their place was.  I made a very hefty profit from my business and it made my junior and senior years much more interesting.

The point of this story is – don’t ban things!  It doesn’t work!  Just like banning alcohol and drugs doesn’t work, trying to ban students from getting publications about what is popular won’t work.  While your ban won’t create the same kind of black market that the one in my school did (which I understand they lifted a couple years after I left, due to the candy and soda wars), it is just another sad and pathetic means of mind control that students aren’t so dumb that they will miss.

  • Feed them a healthy diet of feminist films and books

Wow, how very 1984 of you.  In fact, this whole “ban bossy” campaign is very 1984.  They want to teach the children what they want them to know and to make it so they can’t say the words that they don’t like.  Big Brother would be proud.  I’ve already covered my refutation of this on the first of her little points.  We shouldn’t force kids to watch things, we should give them options and let them find preferences for themselves.  If you want to have a class for this sort of things, by all means.  Let them decide for themselves if they want to adopt your ideology or not.  But don’t force it on them and think that you did the right thing.  I guarantee you that more than one dictator throughout history has thought the same thing.

I said earlier that I would point out the biggest level of cognitive dissonance about all this at the end, and I am going to do that now.  The biggest level of cognitive dissonance is – this is a campaign that is done in solidarity of young women and girls, yet it is making it sound like they are so fragile that they can’t handle being called a word.  I mean, really?  Are we really making that argument?  Cause if we are, then you are tacitly admitting that they shouldn’t be holding positions of power.  Reason – because they can’t take criticism.

I guarantee you, man or woman, workers will poke fun at their boss.  It’s what employees do.  There is almost no boss who exists who is tight with their people.  There is a good reason for this – they have to tell them what to do.  When you have to be an authority figure, it’s a guarantee that you aren’t going to be liked by many or any of the people under you.  You will have people talking behind your back and making jokes about you.  Trust me, gender means jack-diddle.  John the asshole or Jane the bitch are just little names that will follow a boss around.  It’s a way that employees deal with workplace stress.  It’s a coping mechanism.  If you don’t like that, fine, but don’t go pretending that you have a high-ground position here.

And to Freeman’s article, I am going to close out this post with a quote that kind of puts what she wants in its place from a character who I would think she would like.

Until next time, a quote,

“My goal is not to wake up at 40 with the bitter realization that I’ve wasted my life at a job I hate because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens.”  -Daria Morgendorffer, Daria

Peace out,

Maverick

 

2012-2013 Academic Year in Review

Well, we have finished packing stuff for tonight.  So, we thought that we would do our yearly post on the academic year, and our thoughts.  This isn’t going to be a review like I normally do.  No final verdict.  Just my thoughts.  I feel so tired.  Physically, mentally and emotionally, I am drained.  Up front, this has been the worst year of my academic life.  It feels like it has gone on forever.  For real, this year feels like it has been an eternity.  Part of me is so glad to see that it’s over.  Another part of me wants to cry right now.

I’ll start at the beginning.  This year didn’t start out well.  A former best friend of mine got upset with me.  As was typical with every time she was upset with me, she didn’t say anything.  She just got mad, to herself, and then it led to some ugly repercussions when it finally did reach me.  She didn’t want to see me around her work anymore.  Since I was already not in the best place, with a new job that I was not particularly enjoying due to the late hours and the long commute, along with some pain that I was in at the time, I did what I had usually done – I blogged.  Angry venting online is not anything approaching a good thing to do when one is mad with somebody.  And I didn’t hold back.  No names were mentioned, but it would take a blind hyena not to see who I was talking about.  And she did see this post.  But, again, she got mad and didn’t talk to me.  She said nothing at all.  Instead, I got the silent treatment.

CosmonautThe fall semester starts.  I return to campus, living in the dorms again.  I was already not in the best place, but the way I saw it, it could be worse.  I started up with a REALLY full course load.  Working the job I do, this didn’t mesh well.  A couple of classes saw grades start to hemorrhage.  I dropped them, and things evened out.  Well, evened out better.  For a while, they were even looking pretty good.  I was feeling okay.  One class was hurting, but I did manage to salvage that grade into something semi-respectable.

There was one really good thing that happened in the fall semester.  It’s about 2 in the morning and I get a text from a different girly-mate of mine.  She is at a bar down 5th and was ditched there.  Her friend and their companions disappeared and she was alone.  Scared, she reached out to me.  The girl did everything right.  She stayed in public, making sure that she was never alone anywhere.  Downtown on a Friday night, with the drunks at full-tilt, this was NOT a safe place for a girl to be alone at.  I headed out as fast as I could.  I get to where she is and she runs to us.  I felt like fucking Galahad, rescuing her from certain danger.  That was awesome.  We ended up going to McDonald’s for some fries.  Her nerves were calmed and she was better.  This girl and my’s friendship has never been stronger.

But back the former best friend.  I got a new phone and could text as much as I liked.  I hadn’t had that before.  So, I was thinking that now I would have new avenues to reach out to people and have lots of great conversations.  With some, that idea worked like a charm.  However, this friend, was strangely silent.  When we did talk, it was in the shortest and choppiest conversations I have ever had.  Like she didn’t want to talk to me any more than I wanted to talk to her.  This didn’t bode well.  I’m not blind.  Very quickly, I saw that something was wrong.  So, on Facebook, I wrote her a message, confronting this issue.  See, I was told by SOMEBODY ELSE (something that gets under my skin in ways you can’t believe) that she had a beef with me over a blog post.  Which one?  Well, I was curious, so I asked.  I got a reply that set the stage for the fallout of our friendship, and the pain that I have been suffering for this entire spring semester.  She told me that she was angry.  She didn’t say why.  She didn’t say what.  Instead, she told me that she would get back with me.  When she was not upset, because she wanted to talk rationally about this.  Okay.  Not the worst idea.  However good in theory it was, the execution couldn’t have been worse.

Right before the final in a class that I wasn’t doing too well in, I check my Facebook page that morning.  I see that I have lost a friend.  Okay.  I wasn’t too thoughtful of this, because sometimes people just moved on.  I have plenty of fair-weather friends on Facebook who I gain and lose without much notice.  It happens.  But I look in my “Close Friends” page, and see that somebody who was there before is now not.  It was her.  A person who said that they cared for me so much, and that our friendship meant the world to her.  This is four months after she told us that she would get back to us about what was bugging her.  Four months, and instead of keeping her word, she throws us away.  My response was measured.  I wrote her a message asking her what had happened.  As somebody who believed that I was in her inner circle of friends, I think I earned that.  The reply I got was almost a point-for-point replica of a problem that she had had with me two years prior.  She tells me that her boyfriend and her were having fights about me (even though the most I existed in her life was as a Facebook IM and an ever-decreasing number of text messages).

I knew that something wasn’t right.  My gut-instinct is never wrong, and it wasn’t wrong here.  So, I took a different tactic in my reply.  Made that I just wanted my Scrabble partner back, and if we could keep things impersonal, that was fine.  She replied with the truth – getting rid of me was the quickest and simplest solution to a problem she had.  And this solution was to get rid of me.  Naturally, I was pissed.  I went back at her the angriest I have been in a long time.  I made a rather fitting comparison between her and I cousin of mine who had also thrown me away for FAR less than I was worth.  He had been a best friend to me as well.  Both of them used me, liked me when I was around, but would then drop me without looking back.  She and I got into a back-and-forth bit of arguing.  She still claimed that her boyfriend and her were having fights about me.  So, I asked a simple question (that I deserved an answer to) – what were the fights about?  She told me that she didn’t know, and then told me not to ask.  She said that that just made her mad.  In hindsight, I should have pressed the attack.  At least when she was mad, she was talking.  Which is more than I could say for the rest of the time.

But, it was done.  Here’s how it broke down.  Since I won’t ever get to tell her, I guess I’ll tell you.  Because I want you all to see as clearly as I do how she fucked up this entire situation.  It started in August, with her getting mad at me.  Instead of talking to me, like a friend, and saying that she was upset, she says nothing.  Then, when this problem starts compounding on other problems (that I knew nothing about), and I hear from other people that she has a problem, she tells me to wait.  Instead of not being rational.  Instead of just getting upset and getting it out of her system, she tells us to wait.  That she will talk to us and we will figure things out.  Four months later, having said nothing to us, she then unfriends us and tells us that we have no place in her life, because her relationship with her boyfriend is threatened by us.  Man, who are we to these people?  Do I have a power that I wasn’t aware of?  She did absolutely everything wrong.  But you know what the worst thing was?  You know what the most hurtful thing was?  The most hurtful thing is that after doing all this damage, I don’t think that she would have ever, EVER talked to us again if we hadn’t have demanded an explanation.  So, she also broke her promise.  If there is an uglier way for a great friendship to die, I don’t know what it is.  And the worst part of all of this is that this could have easily been avoided if she had just treated me like a friend and talked to me.

Black CatI go home for Christmas break.  It wasn’t pleasant.  At all.  All of the Christmas spirit was literally sucked out of me.  And with there being pretty much nobody to see out in the Valley, I felt oh so very alone out there.  That whole affair, happening just a couple weeks before the holiday itself, ruined Christmas for me.  Forever.  I don’t even care about the holiday anymore.  Next year, come Christmas Eve, I am staying at home, getting some sleep.  But, as is usual whenever I am having problems – if I voice any discontent with this holiday, the mother-unit assumes that I am somehow insulting her.  Yes, I can’t have my own problems.  That would just be too much.  In her mind, if I have problems, I should just shut up.  That is much simpler.

However, there were two bright spots that made the end of break worth it.  The first was seeing an old friend again.  Her and I had spent almost no time together.  We go out to the movies and after it is done, we got to talking.  It was one of the best conversations of my life.  She was loyal to our friendship.  Even though we were very different people, she was loyal to it all the same.  That made me feel very good.

Another thing that happened was something that felt pretty good at the time, and saved that break for me.  Though it would become an issue.  I found a girl who was interested in us, sexually.  I decided to see where that would go.  She was my Dom.  I was her sub.  It was…pleasant.  Kind of.  See, it started out great.  But after a while, she was becoming more and more undependable.  She would make plans with us, only to break them without telling us.  I was quickly annoyed, and it ended about a month and a half after it started.  After it was done, I felt even more lonely than I had before, because it was another reminder of how little I am wanted.

I get back to the dorms for the spring semester.  This started on an even more sour note than the fall.  Still emotionally beaten from losing a best friend, trying to wrap our minds around it, we were not very pleased to come back.  Plus, another friend we had in Anchorage was almost totally absent from our lives.  But that is part of a long story about her and her three-way relationship with a guy and girl that I won’t get into.  Mostly because it’s none of you-all’s damn business.

Spring semester has beaten the shit out of us.  Came so very close to breaking us.  Our classes were hard as fuck, there was almost nobody to see and the gig I had going with the aforementioned Dom was hitting a dead-end.  But it gets worse.  See, there was this shrink that we were forced to go and talk to.  Part of the effort to make me and me accept that we are not mentally healthy and need all kinds of super-duper support from shrinks.  Yeah, fuck that.

But you see, this time was different.  See, this shrink decided that he would do something for which I should sue the son of a bitch – reveal something that I specifically told him was in confidence.  I signed a waver saying that his final report would be able to be viewed by the parentals.  Included in this report is a secret that I have been carrying with me for a LONG time.  So long now that it feels like an eternity.  And not only did he mention it in his report, but when he was giving the Cliff notes version of the report to one of the parentals, he made sure to bring up that secret of mine to them.  Twice.  Fucking asshole.  You have no idea how pissed I was at the time.  I wanted to beat his head against his desk until he went limp.  He made sure that the parental in question knew this secret.  That was clearly the goal.

Now, nothing in my family stays a secret for long.  Once one person knows, it is pretty much a guarantee that others will know.  So now I was put into a position that I never wanted to be in – having to either wait for this to get out on its own or to talk to the person who this secret involved.  I chose the latter.  I cannot tell you how nervous I was bringing this up.  My hands were shaking.  But since the parental knew what, but not who, I didn’t want this person finding out from somebody else.  Lord knows, I have seen very recently how well that turns out.  So, I got this person to talk to me.  And you know what, that conversation went so much better than I could have ever anticipated.  Turns out, they had figured this out a long time ago.  And this knowledge was doing harm to our friendship.  By getting it out in the open, the two of us were able to put it behind us.  I think.  We have hardly spoken since then.  I don’t regret my actions.  But I do wonder if they are cool with me.  I can’t tell you, for sure.

Seated NudeClasses kicking my ass, personal problems piling up and the residual pain of being betrayed and thrown away by yet-another person I held in my inner-most circle of friends.  I was breaking.  My supports were crumbling.  I lost myself inside of Mass Effect for WAY longer than I should have.  It was all I could do to not lose myself to despair.

The only truly good part of the spring semester came from the time I got to spend with a new friend of mine.  Her and I have been growing on each other.  It started out slow, as most things with me do.  I am slow to trust.  But as we got closer and closer, we found that we were kindred spirits.  Every Friday night, we had a routine of going to IHOP and eating there.  It was a nice way to finish up a week.  We also had some nerd nights and just hanging out.  It was a small comfort from what was overall kicking my ass.  I am so glad that she and I found one-another.

Now, it is all said and done.  The friend I rescued from the bar goes home tonight.  I am driving her to the airport again.  And now I kind of want to cry, because she is going to be leaving, never to return.  I may never see her again, and it is hurting me.  But I can’t say anything.  I can’t say that I don’t want them to go.  I can’t tell them that I just want them to stay.  I don’t want to hurt her.  I love her.  And so I do the noble thing.  I say nothing, to not hurt people.  Good people hurt and what is their reward?  Being the better person is fucking bullshit.

So much ugliness.  So much pain.  Given all this, you might thing that me and despair are pretty tight.  But I am not despairing.  The reason is simple – this is about as bad as it could be.  I have hit rock-bottom.  Nowhere left to go but up.  I have hope for the future.  It has to get better from here.  Sure, things are going to be hard ahead, but for the moment, it’s done.  And that is something to feel good about.

And who knows.  Maybe this summer won’t be so bad.  I do have a few people that I mean to see.  I am going to be making the most of my cooking and baking talents, since I will have a kitchen again.  It isn’t great, but this could get better.  At least, that’s what I choose to believe.

Until next time, a quote,

“Times like these, you know who your real friends are. They’re not the ones running around, looking for an escape route. They’re the ones who stand at your side through the worst of it. Who never give up on you.” -Commander Shepard, Mass Effect 3

Peace out,

Maverick

How to be a Career Mother

Well, you are at that age, ladies.  Your biological clock is ticking, so you think to yourself – I am going to have that perfect child!  That child who will make all the other mothers in your neighborhood jealous.  The child who is perfect in every single way!  Good for you.  And now, I will tell you exactly how you can make this amazing dream come to fruition.

1. You are the smartest person in the entire world and don’t you forget it!
You have read every single book about how to be the best mother ever!  You have taken classes, watched educational films and talked to the leading experts.  Armed with this knowledge, you know exactly what to expect from your future child and you are ready to show it how to behave in this world!  Now, there will be people who will question this unrivaled intellect, like the kid’s teachers, your doctor and your neighbors who have the awesome kids who you are trying to surpass.  But they are idiots!  Who cares how much they are with your child and how good their education is?  Clearly they don’t have your amazing level of perception and knowledge about being a parent.

2. Your child is a genius, no matter what anyone says
Since you are going to be the perfect parent, you have been  already preparing for the absolute genius that your child will be.  You played Mozart for it when it was growing inside of you.  Your child is going to be the most absolutely amazing kid ever. I mean, sure, it does stupid things like try and eat its blocks, but that’s totally normal.  Didn’t you hear when your baby spoke German!  Most people who heard that said that it was what babies say, but you know better.  It was German.  Your baby is the smartest baby in the world!  Einstein would have a run for his money.

3. Don’t let your child do what they want
It is only natural that you impose all of your desires and dreams on to your kid.  Sure, they may not like doing it, but hey, they’re just a kid!  They’re too stupid to know what they’re doing anyway.  I mean, so what if they are supposed to learn and grow in a totally organic way that lets them find their passions?  That’s stupid!  Children should be required to be the host for all the failed dreams that their parents had.  I mean, what’s the point of having kids if you can’t live through your youth through them?  And don’t listen when they are sad and want to do something else.  Like I said, they’re kids.  Just stupid kids who should defer to you for everything.  Kids know nothing, except what you tell them.

4. Never, ever let your child have free time!
Free time leads to all sorts of awful things!  They might not be preparing for their schoolwork!  After all, if they don’t get a jump-start on the best preschools, then they won’t get into a good elementary school.  And then, they won’t get into a good middle school!  Then, they won’t get into a good high school!  And then, colleges won’t want them!  And finally, they’ll end up in a gutter or jail!  Yeah, best if you just keep them on a short leash and control all the free time that they have.  It’s only safe.

5. Control every single aspect of their lives
Remember how we said that your kid would be lost without you?  Well, this means that you have to make absolutely sure that there isn’t a single thing in your child’s life that isn’t FIRMLY under your control.  When they play, when they see their “friends” (we all know that a child’s best friend is their mother), what they watch, what they eat.  When they are were a baby, you had to control everything they did.  So why shouldn’t the rest of their childhood be the same?  It is only safe.  In fact, if you watched your kid constantly, that would probably be the best.  Never let them out of your sight.  You must always be there for if anything goes wrong.  Oh, and while we’re on the subject…

6. If something goes wrong in their life, it is everybody else’s fault
There might be days when you get a call from your child’s school.  They will say things like your child isn’t doing very well, gets into fights or just isn’t good at the work.  Well, rest easy, perfect mother.  For you can be rest-assured that it isn’t your amazing child’s fault.  There are the incompetent teachers, for one thing.  They spend all day looking after kids.  So naturally they are not able to see how amazing your child is and cater to their needs.  Then there are the other idiot children who didn’t have amazing mothers like you.  They are on the level of wild animals!  And then there is the absolutely awful television!  Make sure that you never, ever suspect that your child might have done wrong, or that you have somehow failed.  It is the rest of the world’s fault.

7. Constantly tell them that they are wonderful and can do no wrong
Since you are the perfect mother, you have naturally raised the perfect child!  This kid will be the perfect athlete, a genius on the level of Einstein and is friends with every single person.  And you must remind them of this constantly.  If they aren’t first at something, make sure that they know that they are also a winner.  Because if they realized that they lost, well, you saw the causal chain above, didn’t you?  Yes, this is the best thing to do.

So, did you get all that?  Well, hopefully you did.  Now you can go out and make the world’s most amazing child!  And remember, since your child will have a completely sheltered life, which won’t prepare them for the real world, you will have them with you for a long time.  Like the rest of your entire life.

Think about it.

Until next time, a quote,

“That’s what you have to remember as you go through life in this country – it’s all bullshit, and it’s bad for ya.”  -George Carlin

Peace out,

Maverick

The Westboro Baptist Church is Going to Picket the Funerals after School Shooting

You know, there comes a time in everybody’s life where you have to question your own assumptions.  Where you have to wonder if there is a line between what you believe in theory, and how it works in practice.  See, I am of the belief that free speech should be unlimited.  I believe that in a nation where you have that, there should be unlimited ability to use it.  It is why I have always defended people who do the most reprehensible things, like whenever Pat Robertson says something really fucking stupid.  I will mock what he says to death, but if you told me that you wanted to take away his ability to say it, I would get on you like stink on cheese.  It’s his right to say it, and that is where the line ends, for me.

But then I see shit like this.  See, after the school shooting in Connecticut, it seems that the Westboro Baptist Church has decided to pack up their shit and go all the way there and picket the funerals of the children and adults who were killed in this tragedy.  Apparently, according to woman-Phelps, they are praising “God’s Judgment.”  Man, fuck you people!  You are scum!

For real, the Westboro Baptist Church members are the worst people currently on the face of that planet.  It can’t be argued that these people are attention whores.  They are in this solely to get attention, but at the same time, there is no level that these pathetic pieces of shit won’t stoop to.  It doesn’t matter how high you stack the bodies.  It doesn’t matter how much blood is in the air.  It does not matter how much pain there is.  These people will exploit anything.  Anything at all to make their stupid-ass bigotry a national event.  These people are nothing more than tapeworms that exist in the human consciousness.  They are the disease in the bowels of our discourse.  Not one of them is a decent human being.

But here is the dilemma I face – this event is so awful, and they plan to picket it.  I want the people who are attending these funerals to beat the ever-loving shit out of them, and make them all dead.  But then there’s that pesky First Amendment.  The idea that freedom of expression that has been the source of the greatest victories of this country.  I want these people banned from the premise, but they have the right to do this dumb shit.  It’s an ugly dichotomy that I never thought I’d have to face for the bulk of my life.

Idealism is all well and good, but in practice, you then have to deal with people like this.  Evil people.  Fuck.

Until next time, a quote,

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”  -George Carlin

Peace out,

Maverick

Stop Using Tragedy for Politics!

Dammit, it happens again.  I am sick and tired of this happening, because not only does it make all of us look like a bunch of heartless bastards, but it also shows us how pathetically simple-minded we all are.

For those of you who don’t know, this morning there was a shooting in Newton, Connecticut.  A masked gunman went into an elementary school and opened fire on the students and teachers.  So far, 27 are confirmed dead, and many of them are kindergarten students.  This is a national tragedy.  This is something that we should all be mourning for.

But when I look at my Facebook feed, not even an hour after it happens, what do I see?  I see a tirade of people who are screaming that we need to talk about gun control.  I see screaming on both sides.  God-fucking-dammit, knock it off!  You heartless assholes, shut the fuck up!  We don’t even know the names of the victims, or the shooter, who was found dead inside the school, and we are talking about politics.

I remember a time, when I was younger, and tragic things happened.  Know what people did?  We took some time out and mourned.  We took some time and acknowledged the events that took place, and we had some respect for the dead in giving them enough time and support to let things mend.  Then, after we cooled down, we talked shop.  That was how it used to happen.  But now, in the 24-hour news cycle, everyone has decided to start screaming at the top of their lungs about this.  Everyone has decided that they are going to have to be heard, and talk about guns.

I am getting tired of this debate.  If we outlaw guns, that will just create another black market.  Have we learned NOTHING from the drug war?  Outlawing stuff does nothing!  I take the same approach to guns that I do to drugs.  Let’s have them legal, and regulate them.  Don’t outlaw something, but instead, make sure that we have stricter regulations, so that we can make sure that guns don’t end up in the hands of the wrong people.  Why do you think that getting rid of guns is going to do anything?

Just like after the Amanda Todd incident (that we all forgot about rather quickly), we all wanted to talk about the symptoms, but not the disease.  The people who do these things are disturbed people.  You think that guns did that?  You think that if you give somebody a gun, they are suddenly going to go insane?  We have to look deeper into these things, but nobody does that.  Instead, we hear yelling about some half-ass legislation that needs to happen, not once even looking slightly deeper into these things.

And as horrible as this incident is, remember – this is a very small minority of gun violence in this country.  If this sort of thing happened all the time, it wouldn’t be the national tragedy that it is.  The majority of these cases are connected to gangs and drugs.  And if we legalized narcotics and regulated them, gangs would be crushed.  That would do so much more to stop gun violence than getting rid of guns and making yet-another black market.

Wait, no!  I am not getting involved in this discussion.  I am not joining the national choir of assholes who can’t keep their mouths shut long enough to learn what has happened, and to digest information.  Who won’t sit still long enough to take things in and let their nerves cool off.

Stop using tragedy for politics.  Every single time there is an event like this, I hear the same sides come out, yelling at each other.  I am talking to both pro and anti-gun people – shut the fuck up!  Shut your stupid fucking mouths and let the victims of this tragedy get some peace before they are pawns for you to use!  Take some time and tell your family members how much you love them.  Be thankful for the good things in your life.

Ugh, why do I have to explain this…?

Why?

Until next time, a quote,

“But what is more offensive is that when these tragedies happen, most people don’t really care any more than they would about the season finale of Friends or The Real World. I was dumbfounded as I watched the media snake right in, not missing a teardrop, interviewing the parents of dead children, televising the funerals. Then came the witch hunt.” – Marilyn Manson

Peace out,

Maverick

You Can’t be a Democrat & Get into Heaven?

Ugh…dammit!  I was having a good night, watching a video that is reviewing a terrible movie called “Cyberbu//y.”  It was a good night.  I had all my Christmas shopping planned out (an atheist who celebrates Christmas?!  OH MY GOD!).  I even have a couple of really clever ideas for the family.  It was going to be loads of fun.  But then, my arch-nemesis attacks – Stupidity.  Stupidity has come in so many forms over the years of this blog.  It sometimes came in the form of Rebecca Watson’s uber-feminist pointlessness.  Other times, it came in the form of those stupid posters that showed guys yelling at women, with fists coming out of their mouths, implying that verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse (which is the stupidest thing…well, not ever, but up there).  And now, it has come to me in the form of a teacher who has decided to circumvent the Constitution at a public school, all so that she can get her person opinion out to her students.

I know, here’s the link so you know I’m not making this up.  The story goes that a teacher named Kendra Baker, in Laurel County, Kentucky, decided that in lieu of the election season, she had to make a political statement.  You know, that wouldn’t bug me so much, if only her statement wasn’t so stupid.

Her statement, that she wrote on her white-board for her students to read was –

You can’t be a Democrat & go to Heaven.

Ugh…why do I have to find these things.  I don’t want to.  I really don’t.  I want to find happy stories, about people being good to each other.  But instead, I have to have my Facebook feed give me the news of the stupidest people in this country and how they are fucking things up for the rest of us.

Now, naturally, when people saw this written in big, bold letters on a teacher’s white-board, they had a reaction.  Somebody took a picture of it with their phone and sent it to the school board.  So, what was her punishment for disobeying the rules and circumventing the Constitution?  Well, she got reprimanded, verbally, and told to apologize to her students.  Well, ain’t that just spiffy.  Yeah, she shouldn’t be at least on somebody’s shit-list, or fired, for this, right?

It’s stuff like this that really gets me to being annoyed whenever I hear liberals argue that churches shouldn’t be taxed.  Anyone who is stupid enough to think that religion doesn’t have a strangle-hold on politics in this country is an idiot.  You cannot be a Muslim or a Hindu, or a Buddhist or an atheist and get elected to public office in this country.  You have to be Christian.  Or, in Mitt Romney’s case, close enough to Christian to where people won’t notice it.  But yeah, one has to have religion backing them, because if they don’t, they won’t get elected.

And by the way, this isn’t a new thing.  Anyone who reads this old enough to remember the election of JFK?  Back then, America had a shit-fit over a Catholic getting elected as President, because they thought the Pope would be his right-hand adviser.  Uh, question – why the fuck does that matter?  I mean, really, what do a candidate’s religious views matter?  They shouldn’t.  Not to the public.  What should matter is their ability to govern.  Though, as we have seen, this country has made a sport out of not caring about the issues.

Religion is all over politics in this country.  The Republican Party exists because white religious men want to feel like they still have some control.  That isn’t to say that the Democrats don’t have their fair share of religious idiots in that party.  But the Republican Party exists because of religious ideology.  Their religious ideology governs everything that they are for in the realm of “family values.”  Their party hates abortion and women’s rights.  Guess where that came from – religion.  They hate gay marriage.  Guess where that came from – religion.  Once upon a time, they (conservatives) didn’t want to give up slavery, and guess where a lot of that reasoning came from – religion.  Conservatives in America are a completely religious group.  Zealots who are driven by faith, and are actively trying to make this country worse based on that belief.  Because they aren’t smart enough to see and understand something.

Now, it is worth noting that this article against this teacher does seem to want to paint the scarlet letter on her, which does seem a little harsh, but to be honest, the fact that almost nothing happened to her is worth talking about.  Because this is something America needs to realize – that religion is such a substantial part of this country that it is becoming acceptable to use as a weapon to promote your views.  This school didn’t have too much of a problem with a public school teacher disobeying the rules and going against the Constitution.  States in the deep south don’t seem to mind having creationism (the stupidest, most unscientific “theory” in existence) taught alongside evolution.  This is par for the course here in America.

I will close this with a quote by George Carlin, which is exactly how I feel about this topic.

Until next time, a quote,

“If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.”  – George Carlin

Peace out,

Maverick

Why Does it Always End This Way…?

You all might not believe it, but I have worked really hard to get where I am now.  I have been called lazy by a lot of people.  I have been called unmotivated.  I have been called spoiled and greedy and stupid and arrogant and everything in-between.  I admit to being stupid (here’s the kicker, you are too!), and maybe a little arrogant, but that’s more of being an American than anything else.  I am a self-loathing type, by nature.  But I have busted my ass to get where i am today.  I am still busting my ass.  And there are a lot of nights, like tonight, where I genuinely wonder – why?  Why do I keep doing this?  Why do I try so hard?  Where am I going?

It doesn’t help that for a large chunk of my life, I had teachers, family members, and advisers who have told me that I am going to fail.  For real, I wasn’t the most dedicated student.  I had a hard time focusing.  Ah, hell, I still have a hard time focusing.  But yeah, I am a smart guy who didn’t do the best in school, even though knowledge comes easily to me, and I have yet to find the thing that I put my mind to that I’m bad at.  For real, everything that I have ever devoted even a scrap of attention and interest to, I have been good at.  I have a theory that I actually have a REALLY high IQ, but I just don’t care enough to find out.  But yeah, even with all that, I have been told, ever since about middle school, that I was going to fail at life.

But here’s the thing about that – I have kept going.  Even with so few people believing in me, I keep at it.  Why?  Well, that’s because I have simply refused to give up.  I have refused to let these people be right.  But then there was today, and the pain of constantly being told by people how much I am going to fail came back to me.

My college adviser told me that I’m going to fail.  Did you know that?  Yeah, she told me that if I don’t do this thing and that thing, I am going to have a shitty life.  My department has this schtick they are trying to push to students now that it is the “time of the entrepreneur.”  Perhaps it is, but here’s the thing – I’m not an entrepreneur.  I’m a writer.  I like to write.  Writing is what gives my life purpose.  Well, that and the endless pursuit of finding a good story, the time I get with my friends and the people I love, and I also have a very distinct passion for cooking.  It’s days like today that make me wish I had majored in Culinary Arts.  I am a damn good cook, and my skills with baking are very admirable.  I have only ever had one dish I have made that I thought wasn’t good, and to my credit, that was because it wasn’t cold.  If the family had kept the pies cold, it would have tasted better!  But I digress.

At the college today, there was a sign that was on the front door.  Here are the first words on the sign –

DON’T think that you can make it

That’s the first way they begin.  After that, in much smaller text, they list a bunch of programs and internships and whatnot that if a person doesn’t do, they are going to fail at life.  For real, they said that if you didn’t do these things, you are not going to succeed at your future.  My own fucking department has put up a sign, telling all their students that they are going to fail.  What an amazingly horrible thing to do.  I would call them jerks, but that is the nice word that I have for what they are.  The nicest word possible.

So, that didn’t feel good, but then, I was at work.  I had a long and late shift tonight.  Needless to say, I was tired.  A coworker of mind pulled me over, wanting to talk.  To give context to this, let me say that as I was walking to class, I ran in to a girl who works the desk at my job.  She told me that a coworker was out sick.  I nodded, not sure why she felt the need to tell me this in person.  She then decided to treat me like I was an idiot, who was late to work every single day, and repeatedly say that I had to be on work ON TIME.  Yeah, because I am a complete slacker who has never been to work on time in his life.  Oh wait, I’m not.  I have been late to that job once, and that was when I had a flat tire.  When I got to the gas station, I called them, telling them that I would be late.  I did everything right.  I did good.  That was the one and ONLY time that I was ever late to that job.  Yet here this little girl is, talking to me like I am her subordinate, on my time, telling me that I had to be at work on time.  Needless to say, I was pissed.  But instead of going off on her, which I wanted to do, I just made some snide jabs at her, and walked away.  That was it.  I let her know my disapproval with her statements by sarcastically remarking that she was saying this like I was late all the time, and she then felt the need to tell me that I am her subordinate (which is bullshit, by the way.  She is not my supervisor).  This was my time, not work’s time, and I didn’t take that, so there were a few more jabs, and I walked away.

Fast-forward to tonight, and I learn that this girl is now talking to the other girls who work the desk (it’s all women) and that there are a few who don’t particularly like me, and they are uniting against me.  I haven’t done anything to any of these people.  I have just done my fucking job, and they are uniting against me and are potentially going to undermine my employment in the future, and why?  Because a butthurt little girl decided she was going to make her confronting me when I wasn’t at work a work issue.  I could go after her about this, but I just don’t give a shit.  What good would it do me, anyway?

Why does it always end this way?  Why does everything in my life turn out like this?  It seems lately like everything I touch turns to shit.  And the one person I want to talk to about this isn’t talking to me because she is really busy, and kind of pissed at me, and hasn’t told me why, and…and I don’t know.  I have missed her wisdom, but again, everything I touch turns to shit.  Why should my relationship with one of my best friends not be one of those things?

I try so hard, and I work hard at what I do.  I work hard at this job, and do the best that I can.  Wouldn’t you be a little pissed too if your work integrity were talked about like that, when you weren’t even at work?  And, just like everything else going wrong in my life lately, I am finding out about it second-hand.  Nothing gets under my skin faster than finding out about something from somebody else when it concerns me.  When somebody has a problem with me, I encourage them to come and talk to me.  I am all about conflict resolution.  I don’t like to be mad at people, and I especially don’t like them to be mad at me.  I like to be amicable.  That makes me happy.  But it seems like, no matter how hard I try, this is how it turns out.  Why?!  Why does nothing go right for me?!  Why can’t I get some kind of break here?!

I am tired.  I’m tired of this college.  I am tired of work.  I am tired of pain.  I am tired of life.  I want to go on vacation somewhere.  To get far away and to not have to look back.  I want to go somewhere where life can just leave me alone for a while.  I want to go with a friend.  I don’t like to go places alone.  I don’t like to go to movies alone, to dinner alone, or out in general alone.  I like the experiences which are fun to me to be shared experiences.  There is one person in-particular I am trying to share some experiences with, but things between us are…complicated, to say the least.  I don’t know how that will turn out.

I am tired, and the thing I am tired of most – being tired.  I want rest.  But I can’t get rest.  I can’t get it because those are the cards I was dealt.  I hate life.  I really do.  But I won’t give up.  Because people still think I am going to fail.  I am going to prove all those pieces of shit wrong!

Until next time, a quote,

“Why does it always have to end up like this?”  -Huey Freeman, The Boondocks

Peace out,

Maverick

How To Be a High School Student

For any student who has left high school recently, I thought that I would come on here and I would write a post for all the angsty little teenagers out there who are in high school.  If you want to know how to be a very well-adjusted, white, upper-class high school student, this post is for you.

1. The entire world revolves around you

After all, what could possibly be harder in life than high school?  I mean, think about it – this is everything!  There are relationships (or, if you aren’t one of the cool kids, not having a relationship), having a car (or, if you aren’t one of the cool kids, not having a car), and a social life that is just so hard to maintain (or, if you aren’t one of the cool kids, all the envy and hate of the kids who do have a social life, because as you have clearly figured out, you suck)!  And of course, there are those stupid classes that you have to go to and learn stuff at.  They are so hard!  As you know, people here in America have these really high standards.  They expect you to do homework!  The nerve!  Why should you have to put up with that?  It is totally unfair that these jerks feel like you should have to be subjected to all that.

2. Nobody gets you.

When you go on about how hard your classes are, and how sad it is that you didn’t get a car for your birthday, and when you say that some dumb bitch broke up with you, there will be a lot of people who will remark that you are spoiled and don’t know how good you have it.  But how dare they judge you!  They don’t know who you are.  They don’t know where you’ve been.  They don’t know how rough you’ve had it.  They have no right to tell you that you are spoiled.  These people are just jealous that they can’t know how real your life is.  This isn’t like TV.  You have really hard stuff to deal with.  Of course they are going to be hating on your life.

Oh, and some of them will tell you that there are people who have it a lot harder.  Like those black kids in the city, or those starving people in other countries.  Well, have they ever had to deal with not getting the new iPhone?  Have they ever had to be told that they couldn’t get a car?  Have they ever had to do all these stupid things that you have to do?  Of course not!  These people are idiots, and they should feel bad for you.  Just cause they don’t have something doesn’t mean that they can’t understand where you’re coming from.

3. Love is really really easy

There are lots of girls (or boys, if you are a girl) in the world.  And of course, it only makes sense that you have one of them.  Or more, if you are interested in getting lots of ass.  Still, when you get one of them, it only makes sense that things should be simple.  The person should be totally in love with you all the time.  It should always be fun to be with them.  There are all those movies that show that love can be painful, but those are movies, right?  Listen to any of what’s popular right now and you’ll hear all these singers talking about how love is super awesome, all the time.  So it should be the same for you.  And if it isn’t, you should totally ditch it.  You have enough problems to deal with, right?  Why should you have to listen to some stupid girl (or boy) tell you that they are unhappy, and that they want to talk.  Life is a party, right? Of course it is.  And you get to have all the fun in the world.

4. Your parents and your teachers suck

These people are going to talk to you about how you have all these expectations.  They want you to be a “responsible adult.”  That so isn’t cool!  I mean, you already have all the problems of life, like if you are a guy, there are girls to go after, parties to go to, and friends.  If you are a girl, there are the latest fashions, boys, parties to go to, and lots of endless drama that you have to deal with.  Why should these people expect more from you?  After all, they never did before.  These people suck.  They are obviously trying to make you miserable.

But there is an even bigger thing that you have to worry about.  You might hear about this happening to your friends.  Their parents might tell them that they are being lazy and irresponsible (whatever that means), so they are cutting off their money.  This means that they would actually have to…find a job!  A high school student, working?!  That’s unacceptable!  You shouldn’t have to work!  You should be out having fun.  After all, that’s what your life has been so far, so why shouldn’t it continue to be now?  If your parents do that to you, it’s totally cool to hate them.  After all, it’s their fault for being jerks to you.  You didn’t do anything to them!

So, got all that?  Well, if you do, then you are ready to be a white, upper-class high school student.  Though you can also use this same advice for a white, upper-class college student.  Which is good, because you aren’t going to be smart enough to mature a little and do anything else.

Congratulations, you are ready to become a worthless adult who will do nothing for society and make this country even dumber!

Until next time, a quote,

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”  – George Carlin

Peace out,

Maverick