SIONR: I Don’t Think Venom Will Be An R-Rated Movie

I really don’t, and it’s bugging me.  There was a new trailer released today.  The CG is polished, the character is definitely looking the part.  We see our villain, the Riot symbiote, and we get to hear Venom have very violent talks with people.  All of that stuff should be excellent to think about.  But there is something that keeps dogging on me.  Something that I can’t get out of my head, and at this point it is REALLY starting to eat away at me.  It’s the culmination of a bunch of things I have seen that got me to this sudden realization – I don’t think that this is going to be the R-rated movie we were promised.

The first clue was Tom Hardy saying that he got into this role because of his son.  Which means that he intends for the kiddo to see this movie.  Which means that he feels it is kid appropriate.  That doesn’t give me much confidence.

Next up was the trailer itself.  There are a number of things that caught my attention.  First, we keep being told about violence, but we never see any.  In fact, some of what we see contradicts the violence that is alluded to.  Example – we have Venom talking to a dude about eating his organs.  That sounds like fun!  Let’s see some violent action!  Oh wait, you see a couple seconds later him throw the dude.  It’s so fast that I didn’t catch it the first time, but I tend to rewatch things over and over.  It’s a bad habit.  It’s why I should avoid trailers, probably.  Especially since modern trailers tend to ruin the whole damn film.

Then there is a scene where Riot is letting loose with its giant clawed arms.  It is slashing outward at everyone who is directly in front of it.  Awesome!  Oh wait, it shows everyone being knocked over.  What?!  You would be dismembering everyone in that room!  Where’s the blood?!  Why is there not a single drop of blood in any of that?!  That scene in-particular really is rubbing me the wrong way.  The bulk of the people in that room should be headless, or mutilated in some horrible way.  But they’re not! You can see that they’re not!  No blood.  No gore.  No nothing!

Finally, we have this bit where Venom is accosting what I presume to be a robber or something.  He is talking about how he is going to rip his arms and legs off, then his face off and roll him down the street like a turd.  That line, by the way, was pretty great.  That’s Venom!  But as he’s biting down, it cuts away.  Okay, fine.  This is a trailer for all audiences, so that makes sense.  Here’s the problem – if he actually did this, there should be blood everywhere!  Just, everywhere.  That woman at the check-out stand should be horrified, with blood all over either her register or that and her.  It would make Tom Hardy’s line there trying to play it off that much better. Because he just did this horrible thing, then says “bye, Mrs. Chang!”  Like how in Deadpool you have Colossus grilling the titular character about his violent methods, and him trying to play it off, only for a dude who was splattered all over the billboard to come crashing down.  That was funny!  Making it a little more grotesque would still make that work.

You know what this movie needs, if it is going to sell how violent it is?  A Red Band trailer.  Now more than ever.  Because I am convinced that all the people who think this is going to be a crazy violent superhero film was duped.  I’m one of them!  I genuinely believed the articles talking about this.  But now I am almost positive that that isn’t what is going to happen.  This movie is going to be mass-market appeal.  The nerds who like Venom for the violent bastard he is?  Fuck them!  Gotta make a family feature!  Yay….

I am happy that they aren’t just jumping right into Carnage in this movie.  It’s taking the comic story of all the offspring of Venom.  That’s kinda neat.  I am also really liking the design of this character.  Clearing up the voice to show that it is Tom Hardy is also really great.  It kills me that I am so reserved, because it’s clear that Tom Hardy is genuinely trying in this film.  Nothing in the trailer tells me he isn’t putting his all into this performance.  But this movie has been marketed as another entry into the violent superhero genre, and now I am almost dead-certain that that isn’t how this is going to play out.  That bums me.

Does this mean that the film will suck?  No.  But fucking with people’s expectations is going to REALLY hurt it in reviews.  If Sony is just blowing smoke about the violence in this movie, I think they should come out now and make a statement about it.  Better to get this expectation tempered before the reviews come out and crucify the film.  Head it off.  Otherwise, put out a Red Band trailer.  Let the adults who are expecting this to be violent get a little vindication.  Just a thought.

Until next time, a quote,

“So many sacs, so little time.” – Venom, Venom

Peace out,

Maverick

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Adulthood Sucks

Decided to do a personal post.  This is about the only place I can be honest with everyone.  In my real world interactions, I basically choose not to talk to anyone, because everywhere I fucking look, it’s people not wanting to talk to me because I’m not super positive guy.  And if you aren’t blowing sunshine up someone’s ass, you are worth talking to.  That’s my life now.  Just avoiding people because if you aren’t happy, NOBODY wants to talk to you.  Everyone avoids you.  It’s just the world we live in.  Right now, I’m getting real sick of that.  Sick of life, and all the bullshit that goes with it.

I hate adulthood.  I fucking despise it.  If I got a time machine, I would go back and tell young me to savor his youth as long as he possibly could.  Of course, my youth ended kinda fast.  See, I had this head injury when I was 14 that fucked my life forever, and I had to grow up real fast.  There’s another thing I’d change.  I’d tell me not to go riding on a bike.  Just walk places.  Stay off that road.  Don’t get into sports.  Was a bad idea to start with.  I’d do a lot of things.

My rent is about to go up.  A lot.  I thought for a while it wasn’t so bad, but now that I see my new financial situation with a vehicle in my name, it just gets worse.  All of my finances are just shit, and my ability to save in any measure is pretty much fucked.  I keep running the numbers, over and over, in my head.  There’s no escape.  None.  I’m saddled with this endless cavalcade of bullshit.  It’s sucking the life out of me right now.

Had a million fucking interviews lately for jobs that pay better.  Getting real fucking tired of it, but can I stop?  Can I rest on my laurels?  I wish I could!  I like the team I’m with now.  They are awesome people.  But no!  I have to keep at this fruitless task, because a job that pays better is a requisite.  I can hear you saying – why not get two jobs?  I work 9-5, five days a week.  So what does that mean for my working?  It means I’d have to get a job I can work on weekends.  You know what that means – retail.  Because no other kind of employer only hires people part time on weekends.  With my medical issues, a job on my feet for hours on end is out.  So yeah, that’s out.

I remember thinking that when I was an adult, I could do what I wanted.  If I wanted something, since I knew I’d be working, I could buy it myself.  Christmas and birthdays would lose some of their child-like luster, but I was more and more enjoying the idea of just spending time with family.  Yeah, my list isn’t going to get any smaller this year.  Because buying things for myself is a cute idea!  Kinda like a vacation, or going to big events, or a social life, or fucking anything!

Doesn’t help that my personal life is another cute idea that died a long time ago.  I get all the ugly shit associated with adulthood, and none of the perks.  No love life.  No sex life.  No fucking anything!  Just getting up, going to work, coming home.  That’s my entire worthless, miserable life.  But you can’t tell that to people.  Because then you get the patronizing bullshit calls or something of “are you okay?”  No!  But what are you gonna do about it?!  I can’t even afford to go long distance to the family because gas ain’t cheap either!  Fuck!

I am so fucking tired of nothing working in my favor.  I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – where can I cash in on this fucking privilege that these SJWs claim I have in such abundance?  I have white privilege, tall privilege, male privilege, and this is really a thing, smart privilege.  I guess we should extol the virtues of being stupid.  There’s an American thought for ya.  Well tell you what, who do I have to talk to in order to get all the perks?!  I will go there right now and find the nearest minority and rub their nose in these perks!  I want my perks!  Where the fuck are they?!  I have had to fight and scratch and claw and bleed to get ANYWHERE in my life!  So where the fuck can I get these imaginary perks that people say I have?!  Please, tell me where to go.  I will go there.  Today!  Right now!

Bust my fucking ass, and for what?!  So I can have nobody to talk to about why things are hard right now?!  Because everyone ignores me like the fucking plague because I’m negative?!  “Lucien, nobody likes a downer.”  Well then, I guess I get to be alone for the rest of my life.  However long that ends up being.  I take stupid risks just to feel…anything.  I have no fear of death.  Hell, I welcome it.  Am I suicidal?  Damn right!  Only difference is that I have somewhere I have to get to before I can do that.  I refuse to let my life end in this miserable apartment in this miserable city in this fucking icebox state where winter takes up seven months out of the goddamn year.

Every day I do my very best to be the best at whatever I do.  Where has it gotten me?  Nowhere.  It’s gotten me failed relationships, failed friendships, and the subtle realization that one day I will wake up and I’ll be 40 and I’ll probably be in the same goddamn place doing the same goddamn thing.  This is my life!  I fucking hate adulthood.  I would give my last 30 years to be able to go back and enjoy being a kid all over again.  Because looking at the future gives me a fucking headache.  Looking at the past feels pretty alright.

Until next time, a quote,

“‘What’s your favorite childhood memory?’ Not paying bills.” – Anonymous

Peace out,

Maverick

Top 10 Hero Guns

While there are some heroes in film, anime, video games, what have you, that are able to use all manner of weapons, then you have those who have a very signature weapon.  Their own personal death-dealing device that they have spent years perfecting the use of.  I did a post a while back of the top 10 hero vehicles, so now I figured I would do one for signature firearms for heroes in various mediums.  Keep in mind, I am not talking about weapons that are seen being used by other characters.  It has to be unique to this specific hero in their own respective media they appeared in.  So weapons like the assault rifle from Halo, even though it is associated with the Master Chief, are out.  Because that weapon is seen being used by the likes of ODST and jarheads in the same franchise.  Let’s get to it.

10. Ebony and Ivory
Devil May Cry
The signature pistols of Dante, these pistols are used to supplement his other weapons in the endless goal of keeping the combo count rising.  Think of them as your back-up trick, to keep enemies hurting at a distance.  These guns have been with Dante through the entire series.  Even though some of the less popular iterations (like DmC: Devil May Cry, which I actually happened to like).  He has a definite affinity and as we saw in 3, likes to play with these guns maybe a little too much.  But that’s our Dante for ya.

9. Jericho 941
Cowboy Bebop
This Israeli pistol is wielded by Spike Spiegel.  While we do see him using all manner of other weapons, the gun we most often see him using is this.  Spike is a crack-shot, and we get to see this weapon in all kinds of ugly battles.  My favorite bit is when you have the gangster holding Fay hostage.  With the same cold, detached look on his face, he blows the man’s brains out with absolute precision.  Whether it be facing his past, or taking out some low-life punks robbing a convenience store, this gun is never far from Spike’s reach.

8. Dominator
Psycho Pass
This is a bit of a cheat, but here’s the thing – this weapon is only able to be used by the inspectors and enforcers in the police.  It only fires when they are approved to fire and the weapon can be used by them alone.  This weapon is connected with the system that runs the entire city.  When it reads your Crime Coefficient, it determines if you are a danger to society, and after that whether you deserve to be stunned or killed.  This weapon is the absolute authority of the system, and if you are deemed deserving of death, it will kill you without a second thought.  What’s more, it is also in charge of keeping the enforcers in line, as the inspector can use it against them at any time.  A symbol of the dystopian world of the series, and a cool gun to boot.  What’s not to love?

7. Lawgiver
Dredd
Another weapon in the vein of the Dominator, but this one has a much uglier purpose.  The Judges in Dredd are the face of absolute authority, and they are judge, jury, and more often than not, executioner.  In a city where crime is out of control, their role can be understood.  This gun is a marvel of engineering.  It has everything a weapon can ask for.  It can go silent or loud, semi-automatic or automatic, incendiary single rounds or bursting thermal rounds to light up multiple targets, armor piercing or even stun.  This gun can do it all.  In the hands of Judge Dredd, it is a marvel of efficiency to do its job.  But don’t you talk about the one from that shitty Stallone movie.

6. AMT Hardballer
Black Lagoon
I thought about the Hardballers that are the signature weapons for Agent 47, but in the hands of Mr Chang from Black Lagoon, these weapons have a whole new light.  This guy is just awesome.  He has a cool and coy demeanor, but underneath the bravado is a cynical and very detached man.  Which makes his preferred style of fighting that much more interesting.  He uses gun fu, which is modeled after John Wu films, which makes sense, given the name and ethnicity of the character.  When you have the badass Revy Lee saying that he is better than her, you know this dude is not to be fucked with.  I also thought about his customized Desert Eagles with the dragons on them, but decided that these guns are just a little bit cooler.

5. Walther PPK
The Wire
This choice is also stretching my rules a bit, since the character for whom this gun is his signature weapon is initially fighting for the major antagonist of the series.  It’s wielded by Brother Mouzone.  He’s a soft-spoken and well-educated enforcer for Avon Barksdale.  He wields this gun with an iron grip, and after he shoots Cheese, he explains that the bullets are of his own making.  This man is cold, calculating, and a perfect shot.  However, when Omar Little puts a bullet in him, he is able to convince him that the murder of his boyfriend was not his doing.  After healing, he returns looking to find the person who put Omar up to it.  What follows is one of the most badass team-ups in HBO history, when him and Omar go on the prowl.  It ends with a vicious, violent finale where both he and his companion get revenge that was so sweet.  He may wear a suit and bow tie, but any man who steps to the Brother is going to die.  It’s a fact.

4. Cutlasses
Black Lagoon
What do you get when you have a deranged woman with no moral code, a penchant for shooting, and the sensibilities of a pirate?  You get this pair of pistols.  As Revy shoots with a weapon in both hands, hence her nickname Two-Hands, these guns are her go-to death dealers.  A pair of custom Berettas, she puts them to work against anybody who happens to cross her path.  Revy is a damn good shot, and since she has no ability to hold back, she has lightning-fast reflexes to take out many targets as fast as she can.  Whether it be her deranged smile, or a black deathly stare as she massacres Aryan soldiers, this woman will fuck you up with the guns that have the pirate symbol etched on their ivory handle.

3. Caster Gun
Outlaw Star
The signature weapon of Gene Starwind, this weapon has a fascinating backstory, and is used by the aforementioned character to inflict hardcore justice on his enemies.  Made when a bunch of wizards came together to try and put their powers in a more portable form, their final creation was one of an incredibly rare series of guns that require special shells to fire.  You never know where Gene found this gun, but he has tamed the beast and now puts it to work.  But as he finds out, the weapon has a dark side.  A series of shells with magic so powerful that using them requires a sacrifice by the wielder.  One that Gene gets to find out might be more than he can manage.

2. The Good Samaritan
Hellboy
When you are a giant hellspawn with a massive arm, what kind of weapon do you shoot?  Why, a weapon that no human being could ever hope to wield.  Only able to hold four bullets, this gun will fire through anything and everything that it hits.  The name is taken from the Bible, and the bullets can be loaded with weapons that have religious elements integrated, such as the explosive rounds that are filled with, among other things, holy water.  Since his right hand is too big to be useful when wielding this gun, Hellboy has to fire and load it with his left.  Thankfully, if he needs more than four bullets for what he’s going after, it clearly is too big a problem for this pistol anyway.

And the best hero gun of all time is…

1. Hellsing ARMS “Jackal”
Hellsing
Another weapon created because of the fact that the wielder is one who can handle weapons that no human could ever hope to, the Hellsing organization made this weapon specifically for their best warrior, Alucard.  This gun, at 13mm, fires explosive rounds that have one purpose – killing the undead.  The weapon was designed to kill the inhuman Iscariot agent, Alexander, but Alucard has put it to work against any number of his foes.  Watching it make the undead blow up is cathartic, and it’s all paired with the witty coldness of the character it was made for.  Whether he’s blowing the arms off a mutated freak, or the legs off a half-breed vampire pretender, Alucard always gets the job done.  And the inscription on the side is so damn cool.

Until next time, a quote,

“It’s perfection, Walter!” – Alucard, Hellsing

Peace out,

Maverick

Lucien’s First Take: TITANS Official Trailer

The edge here is…adorable.  This is the worst.  The absolute worst.  I’ve come to accept that DC’s live-action stuff is never going to aspire to be anything other than a complete shit-show (Wonder Woman being good doesn’t change that.  If anything, it makes it worse because we realize that there is at least ONE person who knew how to do this right, and now they get crushed under the weight of DC’s ineptitude), so I might as well be able to laugh at how bad it is.  A live-action version of Teen Titans?  Okay, let’s see what the damage is.

It’s even worse than I thought.  We start with seeing who I am going to assume is Raven.  And she looks…so not fitting.  I get the feeling she was a character who would be born having resting bitch face all the time.  She was a nice character, but her demeanor is off-putting because she clearly doesn’t like people.  This character, and her TERRIBLE hair dye job, looks derpy.  That’s one Teen Titan that they’ve shit on.  Let’s see more.

Next up, we’re introduced to Robin.  And he is…angsty.  Okay.  Guess he learned his gloomy lessons from Batman.  And yet, when a bunch of thugs ask where Batman is, his response? “Fuck Batman!”  Oh my Groj.  This is every angsty teenager who slits their wrists cross-wise for attention.  Wow.  Plus, I can’t help but notice he is horrible maiming and murdering people.  That’s interesting.  So, are ANY of DC’s character going to not be serial killers?  I guess a moral compass isn’t part of the DCEU’s MO.

We cut to them showing off that Raven has powers, and it looks even worse.  The black eyes effect just makes her look ridiculous.  Is there a reason they couldn’t have gone with her eyes going all white?  I’m genuinely asking here.  Because that eye effect just looks terrible.  I’m gonna be saying that a lot with this post.  It just looks terrible.  Everything looks terrible.  And she’s a scared little bitch.  This bugs me.  Raven was angsty and kinda dark, but she was never this little scaredy-cat character.  I always liked her, growing up.  A character with some depression issues that had cool friends.  It spoke to me as a teenager, after my head injury.  This trailer sucks so bad.

Finally, we get to Beast Boy and Starfire.  The latter is another character with a TERRIBLE hair dye job.  He looks like every Tumblr male feminist I’ve ever seen, except he’s Asian, so I guess he bucked the trend that way.  I only see pathetic white dudes in that role.  But what the HELL have they done to Starfire?!  I had to look this chick who is playing her up.  It is a genuine talent that DC has to be able to take a character who’s hot, and an actress who’s hot, and make them ugly.  That takes talent!  I’m impressed!

Finally, we the big action montage, with the tagline – Inner Demons Will Come Out To Play.  “Why don’t you understand me, mom!”  That’s all I hear when I see shit like this.  This is the worst, and it’s kinda great.  It’s proof of what a flaming shit-show DC has become, and with shit like this, all it will ever be.  But you wanna know what really blows my mind?  DC thinks that people are going to pay a subscription fee to watch this bullshit.  What?!  What moron would pay to watch this garbage?!  DC is being run by delusional idiots who want to cash in on comic book nerds.

The people in the comments saying that this show is gonna be great and all the people who don’t think so are just Marvel fanboys need to shut the fuck up.  This is trash.  This is complete garbage without any redeeming qualities whatsoever.  The effects are laughable.  The character designs are the worst I’ve ever seen.  But more than any of that, it has this adorable edge to it that just tickles me pink.  What a giant pile of shit.

Initial Verdict
DC taking a shit and telling people it’s good

Peace out,

Maverick

My Bloody Nightmare

The buildings are all made of white stone.  It’s so beautiful to look at, if it wasn’t for what i had to see.  Cobbled stonework on the streets.  It’s a maze of narrow pathways which my feet are running through.  Tripping, stumbling over things, or my own two feet.  My balance has been terrible since my head injury.  Narrow roads, narrow stairs, narrow doors, all shut tight.  Star shimmering above, and a bright moonlight out.  In any other reality, this would be beautiful.  But not in this one.  Not for me.  It’s horrifying.  I’m trapped in Hell.

Tripping again, looking up, I see a girl.  A look of gut-wrenching terror on her face, with her belly torn open and her innards strewn about.  It almost looked like she was trying to put things back in.  What could have done this?  Have to get up.  Have to keep moving.  I can feel something approaching, and I don’t want to be there when it arrives.  All that matters is getting out of this place.

A maze of narrow corridors, with awning overhead that are grown over with vines.  Is there no way out of here?!  I bang on doors, try to open any of them, but they are either locked, or destroyed.  Fire is pouring out of a window.  Turn a corner, blood everywhere.  Like a person was standing there and just exploded.  Viscera leaking down the beautiful white stone.  This can’t be real.  It has to be a bad dream.  But it feels so real.

There’s the wind on my face.  It’s warm.  So warm.  Salty.  A sea breeze!  That means there’s an ocean!  I have to get there.  Follow the scent, get to the sea, then get the fuck out of here.  That presence I’ve been feeling, it’s getting closer.  I know that it is.  Something is very wrong here, and I can’t be here when it decides to come knocking.

Turning the corner again.  An open area between several buildings.  Three ways to go.  Which one is it?!  That’s when I see something.  A little boy, couldn’t be more than six or seven.  He’s ripped in half, with one half in one place, the other far away.  Did something throw the pieces of this poor kid away?  Like he was a piece of trash.  What sort of person could do this?!  But it couldn’t be a person.  I know that.  This is too violent.  Too ugly.  Some kind of beast had done this.  Claw marks all over the cobbled stone streets.  I know I’m right.  I always am.

Finally, I decide to pick a direction.  If I stop running, whatever did this will catch up.  The presence feels even closer now.  It’s gaining on me!  Everything in my body is aching.  My breath is pouring out with such excruciating pain, like the bellows.  But I can’t stop.  Tripping again.  Over a head!  A young woman, with beautiful black hair.  Eyes wide in fear, like the other.  Pushing myself up, I see a man’s body through the window.  It’s got no head, with blood leaking out of the stump facing me.  So horrible.  What kind of creature would do this?  Was I the only one left?

Going faster and faster.  The smell of the breeze is getting closer.  I can feel it now!  Hope, at last.  Just a little bit, but it’s enough.  All I need to keep moving.  More blood.  It’s everywhere.  Pieces of bodies all over the place.  Slip on an organ, but keep on my feet.  Then I see where a man’s body lies.  He is holding an ax.  Was he trying to fight the creature?  Clearly he lost.  Front ripped open from head to pelvis.  It’s like a dissection from the front.  Can’t stay here.  A little further, and a woman also on the ground.  Was that man trying to save them?  Did he try and fight to buy them time?  There’s a giant hole in her head, like from where a claw would go into, so clearly that failed.  Then the worst of it comes to light.  The body of a little girl.  Looking like she was chomped down on, with the top part missing.  From the chest up, gone.

Now my path is taking me up stairs.  Up?!  That isn’t where I want to go.  But I can’t turn around.  If I do, I’m heading closer to whatever did this, not further.  No choice but to go on this road.  A window covered in blood, from the inside.  Whoever was in there is dead now.  Old, coagulated blood.  What happened to this place?  Up and up and up, with more blood and ripped open bodies.  My body is screaming at me, 1000 promises of pain and horror.  Have to keep going!  Can’t stop!

Then I get to the top of the path, and I see that I’m on a roof.  There’s a cliff in front of me, with the water down below.  Should I jump?  No way.  That water would turn to a concrete floor by the time I land.  But there’s nowhere else to go.  I’m trapped.  Turning, I see across this white stone city.  Smoking coming up, fires burning without anyone to stop them, signs of dead bodies all over.  Was the entire city dead?!  How could a creature do this much damage?!

A noise.  Crashing, smashing, moving.  Claws on stone, slashing at everything.  It was getting close.  Coming up the stairs, faster and faster.  It knew that its quarry wasn’t far.  I could almost feel the giddiness from it, as it was going to get another meal.  Happily bounding toward me, and all I could think about was how fucked I am.  It rounds a corner, and I see hanging from it’s long, spear-like claws are bodies.  Little bodies that are torn open.  It holds its hand up to its head and bites down.  Blood drips down.

There are no words to describe this creature.  I could only see it’s silhouette.  Tall, in a way I had never seen before.  It stood like a man, with such long, gangly arms, along with gangly legs.  It was lanky.  Head, smooth, with a grotesque smile on its face.  On each hand was long, thin, bladed fingers.  Each finger had a new disgusting nightmare of flesh.  Most of it was dead.  There was one that wasn’t fully.  Writhing, trying to get away.  A young man with a look of horror on his face.  No escape for him.  Just horrifying death and pain.  I felt for him.

Now it was after me.  I could see the look in its eyes.  I was its next victim, and there was nothing I could do.  Looking back, at the sea.  The only way out.  There was literally nowhere else to go.  I could jump and die, or get ripped to pieces by that thing and die.  The choice basically made itself.  I turned back, chuckling to myself, then flipped that fucker off.  That’s when I jumped.

In a flash, it was rushing forward.  I was falling, fast.  Like a stone, headed to the floor.  It’s long, sick arm reached out for me, but as it tried to stab with one of it’s sick fingers, Lady Luck smiled upon me.  I had gone too far.  It screamed in rage as all it could do was watch.  Now I turned to face the water, coming up with speed.  This was it.  I would die.  At least not the way all these people had.

Then, as I hit the water, I wake up.

Until next time, a quote,

“Monsters don’t sleep under your bed.  They sleep inside your head.” – Anonymous

Peace out,

Maverick

This is a Smear Piece of TotalBiscuit (A response to Forbes Magazine)

The very first thing to know about this article is that at the top, by the person’s name, it says that the opinions of this person are their own and not that of Forbes Magazine.  Well, fuck that.  This read like a hit-piece, and Forbes is shameless enough to put it on their platform.  This is an article that they want associated with their publication.  Hey, Erik Kain, you cool with this?  You cool with a publication you associate with putting out complete hit-pieces of respected gaming critics who died of cancer?  I’m sending you this, so I hope to get an answer.  Really, really am.  Though, we all saw your credibility die with the very thing this article talks about, so hey, let’s get down to it.

Some bitch on Forbes decided that instead of talking about the legacy of consumer advocacy (as opposed to Jim Stirling, who has agreed with Ben Kuchera that doxing is cool, so long as it’s somebody that they don’t like), she decided to talk about his connection with #GamerGate.  A movement that, four years later, still hasn’t died in the eyes of these people.  It never ceases to amaze how they are so quick to slander someone based on a movement that is dead.  But hey, let’s take a look at the article itself and see what this idiot is on about.  Here’s a link to the article, now let’s get into it.

The late YouTube Legend known as John “TotalBiscuit” Bain would have turned 34 on Sunday had he not lost his struggle to bowel cancer about a month ago. Instead of “Happy Birthdays” and tributes to his decade-plus career in the video game industry, however, his name is currently being evoked with the firing of two game developers and associated mob harassment. His critics call it “fitting” that this is Bain’s legacy… but many of his fans, some of whom have grown up with him, are wondering why some internet drama from 2014 is still relevant enough in 2018 to damage Bain’s brand forever.

TotalBiscuit has fuck-all to do with the firing of the Guild Wars 2 devs.  Nothing.  It’s being evoked with that by people who want to smear him for the purposes of…I don’t know.  It genuinely eludes me as to what is to be gained from besmirching the dead when they can’t defend themselves.  You all are the ones doing this.  Because you can’t talk about the fact that the dev in question who got the ball rolling took a COMPLETELY innocuous comment on her PUBLIC Twitter page (she did not set it to private) as an attack on her because of (insert gender politics) and decided to lambast him.  A guy who has said that he loves her work and even replied that he was not trying to offend her.  What followed was an insane outrage against the community and making it completely and utterly about (insert gender politics issue).

You all are the ones who did this, and now I am just DYING to know what TB has in common with this issue, seeing especially that it happened long after he died!

To progressives and what constitutes as “mainstream internet,” Bain was the man who legitimized GamerGate, the 2014 harassment-campaign-turned-consumer-revolt that went on to inspire conservatives.

What?!  What the fuck are you talking about?  When?!  When did he do this?  These people have such an insane view of what happened in the heyday of GamerGate.  It blows my mind.  For those who want a complete break-down, with all the main players involved, here’s a compilation of videos that Internet Aristocrat did about the whole thing.  He goes into great detail, and can clear up ALL of this bullshit.  Let’s take a look, then we can go further.

Wow.  So, in the very interesting story of what happened between the Quinnspiracy and GamerGate, I didn’t much about TotalBiscuit.  That’s funny.  I wonder why that is?  Could it maybe be because this woman is full of shit and looking to attack someone for reasons that I honestly couldn’t tell you?  I’m assuming that this woman is an SJW, and was just looking for a chance to get up on a pedestal.  That’s how these people do.  Well, let’s see what her reasoning is.

He could be described as the Anita Sarkeesian of the right in the current culture wars, always aggressive with his opinions but a bit thin-skinned to criticism himself. (He threatened to quit social media, Twitter and reddit a few times, for starters.)

I’m not getting this.  The Anita Sarkeesian of the right?  According to whom?  How do we know his politics?  You’re making a ton of assertions, and I haven’t seen anything he’s said himself that gives you insight into this.  This whole article is just you using other people’s statements to bolster your opinion.  What did TB say that clues you in to him being right-wing?  Specifically.  I want specifics, you stupid bitch.  You’re slandering a dead man, so I think he deserves that much.

As for him quitting social media, he said in a SoudCloud post that he was doing so because he was dealing with cancer.  I’m sorry that that makes him not as thick-skinned as you’d like.  He couldn’t deal with the stress of all his cancer stuff and the nonsense of social media at the same time.  Tell you what, sugar-tits, let’s see you get Stage 4 cancer and then be as popular as him on social media, where people are want to say inflammatory things (because male or female, it happens to everyone with large amounts of name recognition), and see how well you deal.  I’m sure that you will be the Paragon Virtue of being able to take the knocks without a scratch.  I’m a-quiver of curiosity to see it.

For someone so savvy at digital media preceding the incident, Bain’s involvement with GamerGate in 2014 can only be explained as a lapse in judgment. Up until that point he hadn’t yet been duped by any fake news campaigns perpetuated by organized online trolls.

Oh!  So all that stuff in Internet Aristocrat’s video?  Fake news?  What a crock.  Agree or disagree with his politics, IA did a very good break-down of what was happening, as it was happening.  He made those videos in the thick of it, following threads and forums and seeing the gaming media coming in solidarity of exposed collusion.  Because they couldn’t be honest about their mistakes.  Fuck that noise.  Instead, they have to get the gender politics train running, full steam ahead, and make it about that until the cows come home.

And there are so many details they missed.  Like how Brianna Wu lied about being driven out of her home.  She was doing TV interviews during that time via some kind of streaming.  It wasn’t something they set up.  And guess where she did those – from her office!  Five guesses where her office is.  Not to mention, Zoe Quinn saying she had to flee her home for another umpteenth time just happened to correlate nicely with her having a trip to Europe that she had announced months ahead of time.  There are SO many things that Internet Aristocrat missed, but I guess that this chick is just going to sweep it under the rug by calling it “fake news.”  That’s very SJW for ya.  I swear, anyone who uses the term “fake news” unironically is immediately put in my book as an idiot.

Unfortunately for Bain, his star power, white male privilege and massive fan base of more than a million could never change the narrative to the issue he wanted to discuss. Further, this mistake would eternally brand him as the face of a troll movement whose main claim to fame was making headlines for privacy breaches, hacking and various online crimes including harassing women out of their homes and threats of gun violence.

When was TB the face of GamerGate?!  Who did that?!  His name came up one time in a TwitLonger where he laid out his misgiving about the situation, but that was it.  You even cite it in your stupid fucking article!  All the names that got notoriety in all of this.  Internet Aristocrat, Mundane Matt, Eron Gjoni, Nathan Grayson, Adam Baldwin for coining the term, The Factual Feminist, none of them are TotalBiscuit!  Hell, I remember the Vivian James cartoon being more of a face of the movement, because the movement recognized it didn’t have a face!  This is so factually dumb!  This man has been saddled up to this fucking movement that you all are talking about all these years later because you feel like defaming him, and it fucking pisses me off!

You went on before about all the good that TB had done, as a way to set up how it doesn’t excuse him for the EVIL things that he has done here, but fuck that!  It’s telling how vague you are about the the EVIL things that GamerGate did.  Never mind that in Internet Aristocrat’s video that really got the issue blown up, he said right at the very beginning that he didn’t care that Zoe Quinn fucked five guys.  He cared about who those men were, and the ethical implications that went along with that.  Because they were giving her positive coverage.  IA made GamerGate into a household name.  Back when his channel existed, because he closed it out and made a new one, the views on those videos that the compilation was made from were insane!  You’re putting on a man who has no part in any of this, all of the blame.  It’s disgusting, and shame on you for doing it.  Let’s keep going.

I’m trying to find things to make a point about, but it’s impossible.  This article just goes on and on and on about how GamerGate is evil and anyone who says otherwise is “fake news” and that TB was somehow in the thick of it.  The fucking author even points out that TB only did that TwitLonger and didn’t engage past that.  He made his point and left it at that.  But now, somehow, because Anita Sarkeesian, he’s the figurehead of it?!  I am so fucking confused here.

Here’s what I’m seeing.  I am seeing someone who wants to talk about GamerGate as a thing.  I appears to be that TB’s name being included in all of this was just something to get people to click.  It’s click-bait.  Pure and simple.  Forbes published some click-bait bullshit that is fact-free, and all over the propaganda, to help push a narrative about an issue that these people won’t let die.  I can prove this, too.  Get a load of this statement.

While Gamergate faded away and lost relevancy except among progressive social media bubbles and white supremacists, TotalBiscuit as a brand separate from Gamergate continued to stay relevant among video gamers, both competitive and on Twitch and YouTube.

Did you see that?  The SJW has a brief moment of self-awareness because they have to flee back to the talking points that they want you to know are the real talking points.  And to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise!  This is her pulpit, dammit, and all of us have to agree with her.  From there, she goes on and on about GamerGate and some tangential relation to TotalBiscuit, when there is none!  None!  Nobody remembers him for his contribution into this culture war except for you lot!

Maybe you’re mad that two Bioware employees (one former, one current) besmirched him and were publicly lambasted to no end.  Is that it?  I don’t think so.  She threw every SJW big issue except the kitchen sink at this post.  Anita Sarkeesian, the Guild Wars 2 devs (an issue which has fuck-all to do with TB since it happened over a month after his death) getting fired, whatever you could find to throw into this, and however tangentially, lay at the feet of a dead man.  It’s fucking bizarre.

Which brings me back to what I began this article with.  This is what Forbes wants associated with their publication.  Complete and utter click-bait, and used the name of a popular, dead critic in order to have a pulpit to bitch.  I find this asinine in the extreme, and unethical.  This was an editorial, masquerading itself as a straight news story.  Huh, if only there had been a movement about this sort of nonsense being in mainstream publications.  Like, one that had been building for years and then broke open when one person decided to DMCA a video talking about it. Hm, I wonder what kind of big event that would be?  A fucking mystery to me.  What about you?

Until next time, a quote,

“The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it.” – H.L. Mencken

Peace out,

Maverick

Top 10 Michael Crichton Books

I don’t know how many of you reading this know, but my favorite author is Michael Crichton.  This man had a gift at taking real world concepts and taking them to the next level.  Or finding things that were in the zeitgeist and looking at them from another way.  Then there were his books about medicine, for which he graduated from Harvard.  As well as his books about crime and corporate espionage.  The man even took a stab at historical fiction, and with the exception of the lost manuscript that just got released (I genuinely didn’t like Dragon’s Teeth.  At all.  I thought it was boring as fuck.  Perhaps there’s a reason it was a lost manuscript), he nailed it!  Crichton was a master of the craft, and while I didn’t always agree with everything in his novels (such as in State of Fear, where he makes clear his belief about climate change and what he believes in mankind not being involved in it), I could always read them and be engaged, left with things to ponder.  Here is my list of my 10 favorite.

10. The Terminal Man
It’s so interesting to read this book.  It was written in 1972, and the concepts within it are more terrifying now than they were then.  But Crichton says outright in the beginning that while these concepts are scary, they’re real.  A story about a man who has seizures that cause him to be both violent and stronger, he is brought into a hospital for a new kind of treatment.  It will put wires into his brain to stimulate the parts of his mind during a seizure to stave it off.  However, this man has a twisted psychosis that leads him to escape after the procedure, with a dark plan.  This book is violent, tense, and the concepts within it terrifying.  Mind control is a concept that people talk about today, and mechanisms that could cause it existed then.  Think about that.

9. Rising Sun
A combination book of two things that Crichton does very well – crime novels and corporate espionage.  A story about two detectives who are investigating a murder at a Japanese corporate party.  This book looks at Japanese business, in a way that is not always flattering.  You have two different perspectives on it, so you can see the juxtaposition in approaches to how people treat the Japanese.  It’s also interesting with this stuff and the time period that it was written in, vs how things are now.  The west likes to believe that we get things, but in reality, the countries that aren’t our own are often as alien to us as life on another planet would be.  This is a book of intrigue and culture, and only Crichton could get skate on ice this thin without falling through.

8. A Case of Need
It’s ironic the timing of this.  During a new Supreme Court nomination, where countless people are wondering if Roe v Wade is going to be overturned.  This book also looked at abortion, but during a very different time.  Published in 1968, this book tells the story of a man who is framed for a botched abortion which results in the death of a young woman.  He gets a dear friend to investigate and find out the truth, saving both him and his reputation.  Before abortion was legal, where unsafe abortions killed countless women, this book took a look at the concept with an eye of critical skepticism.  It’s clear that Crichton was on the side of those who wanted legal abortion for women, but he decided to give this book a hard medical approach, along with a decent mystery.  In today’s climate, this book is definitely worth checking out.

7. Airframe
A corporate espionage story through-and-through, this book holds a special place for me because of the subject matter.  Neat fact – I’m afraid of flying.  I hate it.  It ties nicely into my fear of heights.  A fact that many have sniggered at due to how unfathomably tall I am.  Yes, this fact does amuse me to some degree.  Telling the story of an airplane manufacturing company (do they even have these in this country anymore?  I figure all that shit was outsourced years ago) who is tasked with investigating the cause of a horrifying accident, it is a story of corporate greed, corruption, and why people REALLY should be more afraid of being in airplanes.  It’s mired in corporate speak, but Crichton takes you through it.  He loves to have little digressions to talk about whatever subject matter is in his books.  Partly to help you understand, and partly because he clearly wants to show off how much research he did to write them.  This book is among the best in this genre, and if you aren’t afraid of flying, it will help with that.

6. Pirate Latitudes
When I was given this book, 1st Edition, for Christmas one year, I was unsure what to think.  A historical fiction book by Michael Crichton?  I mean, Timeline was great and all, but this just seems a little outlandish.  Then I started to read, and all my doubts evaporated.  Telling the story of a privateer who is given a task to raid an island that has equal parts danger and opportunity, this story is mired in Crichton’s ability to show off his research, and the adventure factor of a great pirate story.  It genuinely shocked me how good this book is.  These characters and their adventure feels so grounded in what could actually happen.  It doesn’t have the rosy view of pirates.  No, these people are gross, immoral people.  But Crichton has a gift at making those you shouldn’t like feel so fun to get to know.  A trip to the high seas you won’t forget.

5. Sphere
This novel is a little bit different.  Instead of Crichton showcasing his research, he wanted to show off his ability to use mood and setting to his advantage.  Telling the story of a man who once made a plan on how to deal with first contact with aliens, he gets a chance to do just that as a craft has been discovered at the bottom of the ocean.  What follows is a supremely suspenseful novel about terror at the bottom of the sea, and a device that has powers that defy all comprehension.  Crichton is able to make the deep ocean seem more threatening than anyone though possible.  Telling a story with tons of The Abyss before that film was a thing, it’s a novel to make your skin crawl.

4. Disclosure
This novel really seemed ahead of its time, looking at where we are now in terms of gender politics.  Combining a VERY touchy subject with his corporate espionage style, this novel tells the story of a man who works for a computer company.  A woman is hired that he used to be involved with.  After she tries to make a move on him and he rejects her, she comes after him with a sexual harassment suit.  From there, he does something that would be ballsy even to this day – files a sexual harassment suit right back, getting a lawyer who is a big-time feminist.  Taking on the concept of gender politics in the time when this was written could EASILY have blown up in his face, but Crichton doesn’t back down from his perspective.  He shows that it is possible for women to abuse their power and sexuality as a man, along with be corrupt and vile.  He doesn’t shy away from the implications.  It’s a daring novel, and I think that it has more relevance now than it did when it came out.

3. The Andromeda Strain
The novel that helped put Crichton on the map.  The first work of his to be adapted to film, and probably the only one done right.  This story was revolutionary for its time, and it has aged exceptionally well.  It takes the perspective that what if alien life that comes to our world isn’t some big monster, but rather something so small that you can’t see it with the naked eye?  A probe crashed back to Earth after having gone to find alien life, and it came back with something in tow.  An alien pathogen that kills the entirety of a small town.  Now, a group of some of the best scientists in the world comes together to try and figure out how to stop it.  This novel is tense.  The process of learning about this infection and what it is will leave you on the edge of your seat.  It’s a mind-bender, to say the least, and I am still shocked by it even to this day, because of how it takes concepts from time gone by and takes the next step in terms of technology.  A first contact story unlike any other.

2. Jurassic Park
Definitely the most famous of Crichton’s books.  A novel that tells the story of an eccentric billionaire who used cloning to create an island full of dinosaurs.  However, there are several things about the novel that separate it from the movie and make it far better.  For starters, this novel builds up the reality of dinosaurs existing in a way that the film doesn’t.  It’s a process of the world getting hints about them, only for a small team of people to be given the full reveal.  Not only that, but it looks at the creatures themselves, and what they would be like.  This isn’t just some monster movie.  It’s a tale about animals from 65 million years ago being brought back to life, thrown in the mix with mankind.  It’s a story where survivors are trying to get everything sorted out, and learn what they are up against.  The parts of the story examining what these animals are are fascinating.  It’s a shame the film didn’t take the time to really dive into that.  But you gotta entertain the dim-witted American audience (I do like the movie, by the way.  However, my point stands).  Not nearly as violent and creature-feature as the film, with some amazing science every step of the way.

And my favorite of Crichton’s books is…

1. Prey
Some of you saw this coming if I have any readers who read my post about my top 10 favorite books.  Not only is this my favorite book by Crichton, it’s my favorite book of all time.  This is him at his best.  Him taking real science and going the next step the way that only Crichton could.  It’s a nightmarish, fascinating, tense story about a corporate that creates nanomachines and how swarms of them get out into the wild.  Now, an out of work father who wrote the code that these machines are governed by has to get back into it, to solve the mystery of what his wife was doing away from home, and to save the family he has worked so hard to cultivate.  This book is a masterpiece, plain and simple.  It has Crichton showing his research like never before.  Though, if you find that stuff self-indulgent, you will hate this book.  There are long sections where he gets into some scientific or philosophical concepts and will carry that on for some time.  It’s pretty great stuff.  These machines, how they are created, and what they become, is a story that will have you spellbound, turning pages like it’s nobody’s business to get to the end.

What are some of your favorites?  Let me know in the Comments.

Until next time, a quote,

“They didn’t know what they were doing.  Sometimes I wonder if that will be humanity’s epitaph.” – Jack Forman, Prey

Peace out,

Maverick