A Hard Question

Another long day comes to an end.  I put Ellie to bed and now was settling in to watch some news before going to bed.  My days of being a journalism student in college still catch up to me.  The urge to keep informed about what is happening in the world.  Another Presidential election over.  The infotainment that is cable news has to find some new thing to milk into the ground with the fact-free reporting that they do.  The modern Fourth Estate is a joke.  I truly do believe in what it was supposed to represent, but now it is just a shadow of what the great journalists fought for.  When Edward R. Murrow took on Joseph McCarthy, when Walter Cronkite took on the government over the Vietnam War, when Ted Koppel took on the government over the Iran hostage crisis, they fought for what the news was supposed to mean.  But they were gone.  Sorry if I preached, but I still think about things like that, even now.
They said that becoming a dad would totally change me.  Sure, it changed my routine and how I look at the choices I make, but it didn’t magically turn me into a curmudgeon who is uber-conservative and believes that liberals are stupid.  I still believe the things that I believed then.  Only difference is that now I get to try and be the best dad that I can be while believing what I do.  I have taken a hard stance that I want to impart my values in a way where I give all sides their due.  I wasn’t going to teach my little girl what to think, but rather how to think, and let her come to her own conclusions.  Sure, it meant that for a while there, she believed that her deity was Santa Claus, but now she is at the top of her class and is the smartest child I have ever met.  Makes me wish she could see her.  I look at the pics on the wall, and my mind goes back.

I met her when I was in college.  The two of us immediately clicked.  Our weirdness meshed so well, and we were fast friends.  For a few years, life was good.  We would go out, have dinner, go to movies, see random things that happened in town that got both of our attention.  Was even dragged to a couple cultural festivals by the girl.  I was always a little apprehensive about going to things like that.  So different and random.  Really was my father’s son.  He hated new things, and would complain up to the point that he actually was there.  After that, once he was in the middle of whatever it was, he was enjoying himself.  Made for vacations where my mother would have to put up with him complaining all the way there, but I could tell that she knew that it would be worth it once he was there, just as excited as the rest of us.
One night, at a Japanese culture festival, the two of us were sitting and eating some noodles.  It was fantastic.  There was music playing and I didn’t want to be anywhere else.  That’s when I look over, wanting to say something to her, but she is already looking at me.  A look in her eyes, telling me that she had been looking at me for a while.  We just look into one-another’s eyes, and I don’t need to say anything else.  Her hand goes to my cheek, and I move in closer.  Each movement brings new rounds of butterflies inside that are driving me crazy, but I don’t stop.  Then our faces are so close.  When did this person who was nothing but a friend to me become something more?  I didn’t know, and I didn’t care.  Everything about this moment felt right.  Our lips met, in a soft embrace that I never wanted to end.  It was the first night that I felt like I was living since high school, where my last relationship ended.
It’s five years later.  We’re at the church that she grew up in.  I’m not a religious person, but she is.  I can put aside how I feel about it all, because this makes her and her family happy.  I’m saying “I do,” and tears are going down her face.  We embrace again, and everything is wonderful.
Two more years later, and we are pregnant.  She is so excited.  I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t scared out of my wits.  We both have good jobs.  Money isn’t something to be afraid of.  We made sure that we were ready before taking this step.  But even with all of that, I’m still scared to death.  What does it mean to be a dad?  Both of my parents have advice for me.  Hell, everyone has advice for me.  The entire fucking world is suddenly an expert on having children.  Not helping.  Not one bit.
We are sitting in a room, listening to a doctor.  She is telling us that my wife has cancer.  Due to the pregnancy, it is making her immune system weakened.  It just happened to come in at the right time.  My wife is scared for the baby, but the doctor said that it hasn’t gone to her reproductive system.  Facing her own mortality, the first thing she thinks about is the baby.  Admirable.  I wonder why.  I just want to save her.  The options we have are limited.  We can’t do chemo with the baby in there.  We’d kill it.  By the time the baby is done, it might be too late for more radical treatments.  It’s already in the second stage.  My wife is crying.  I think I am too.  Hard to tell.  My whole body feels numb.
It’s just after dawn when she goes into labor.  I get her to the car and drive like a bat out of hell to the hospital.  It’s not close.  She looks terrible.  The treatments for cancer that are safe, along with the progression are making her so sick.  So scared that delivering the baby will be dangerous.  Told her to do a c-section.  It’s safe, easy, and then it’s over.  She says no.  Wants to deliver this thing the normal way.  Stubborn woman.  Stupidly stubborn.  What’s the point of doing things that way if it’s an unnecessary risk?!
Being right never feels like a victory, for me.  I am watching as my baby is being wheeled away, while they get the crash cart.  Over and over, they attempt to restart her heart.  It doesn’t work.  Holding my newborn daughter in my arms, I watch my wife die.  What should be the most wonderful night of my life is when my heart is breaking.  I have so much that I have to do, only difference is that now I have to do it all on my own.  Never have I felt more alone.

My eyes open, as I see a light at the top of the stairs.  Down the stairs she comes.  Sitting up, I see that the TV had turned itself off due to inactivity.
“Dad, you up?” a voice calls.
“Yeah, in the living room.”
In her flannel pjs, I see the girl coming over.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?”
The look on her face, it’s concern, but awkward.  “I heard a noise, from down here.  I think you were talking in your sleep.  Heard you calling out to mom.”
A feeling of shame.  “Oh.  Sorry if I woke you.”
She sits down in a chair across from me on the couch.
“It’s okay.”  There is something more there.  “Can I, ask you something?”
Parent moment – she’s just shy of middle school.  The talk is coming.  Anytime I hear that question, I know that the big one is coming.
“Sure, kiddo.”
Looks down at the floor, then back up at me.  “Do you blame me, for happened to mom?”
It hurts.  I am physically hurting because of that question.  Not because it offends me or something, but because I have to wonder how long she has been carrying that question around in her head.  The girl was always eager to please, her whole life.  Anytime that I wasn’t at work, she would be where I am, doing whatever I do.  To this day, she still is like that.  Part of me thought that it was just a kid bonding with their parent, but maybe it was her trying to atone for what she feels like is her fault.  Maybe this is a talk I should have had with her a long time ago.
“Never!  What happened to your mother was not your fault.  Cancer can happen to anyone, at anytime.  Lady Luck just didn’t shine on her, is all.  It happens to all of us.”  Was that the right way to say it?
Tears started flowing down her face.  “I hear you, but you kept calling out to her, over and over.  You said, ‘don’t leave me.’  How can I not think that you don’t at least blame me a little for what happened to her?”
I motioned for her to sit down next to me.  “Now, don’t you go thinking that way!”  She got over and I put my arm around her.  “You coming into my life was the greatest day of my life.  Your mom was willing to risk getting sicker just so she wouldn’t have to put you in danger.  She told me that if the worst should happen, to promise that I would take care of you.  And I did.  With all my heart, I said that I would be the best dad that I could possibly be.  Not a day has gone by that I regret it.  Not one.  It was the hardest few months of my life, adjusting to taking care of you without her with me.  I needed a lot of help from grandma and grandpa.  But you are the greatest thing to ever come into my life.”  A gripping at my heart.  “And with you here, in a way, it’s like she never left us.  She’s with us both, right now, because you survived and are still here.  Never have I blamed you for what happened to her.  Not one time.  I miss her every day, but it’s not your fault.  Okay?”
All she could do is cry and burrow into me.  I held her close for a long time.  Then, I picked her up and carried her like a big cat upstairs.  Thank Groj I am such a big guy and have worked to take care of my body.  Hefted the big kid like she was nothing.  Laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers over her.
“Good night, baby-girl.”
“I love you, daddy.”
“I love you too.”
I don’t think there is a harder question in the world I could have been asked.  Suddenly, that other talk seems a hell of a lot easier.

Until next time, a quote,

“Grief is like an ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing.  Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming.  All we can do is learn to swim.” – Vicki Harrison

Peace out,

Maverick

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Your Logic about Romantic Preferences is Retarded (A response to Riley J. Dennis)

Let’s dive into the maw of stupid SJWs and dredge up this trans person with a giant Adam’s Apple.  I have talked about this creature before, but never in a proper response like this.  This chick, guy, whatever has had some very stupid opinions before, but this one takes the cake.  He/she/it is about to state that unless you are openly sexually attracted to all groups of people equally, you are discriminating.  That’s right, by having one group of people that you find more attractive, you are deliberately attacking the groups of people that you do not.  That logic is so stupid that it hurts.  I’ll let you all see this ignorant diva’s video, then we’ll talk about it.

So, first he/she/it asks if I would date a black person.  It isn’t a group I am predominately attracted to, but if a black girl got my attention and I found her attractive, absolutely.  A trans person?  Depends on how good the transition was.  Not you with your giant Adam’s Apple.  No joke, the biggest reason why I can’t decide what to describe you as is because that thing is fucking huge.  You’re like a dude in drag.  But if it were a trans woman like Blaire White, absolutely.  She’s hot as fuck.  A fat person?  That depends.  A few extra pounds, maybe even a little overweight?  Absolutely.  Obese?  Absolutely not.  I can’t be with a person who is destroying their body with their eating habits.  Sure, there are those who cannot help it, but the reality is that if a person is destroying their body because they can’t plug up the top hole, I don’t want that in my life.  The last girl I ran with was more than a few pounds overweight, but she was a fun girl.  I take people as they come.  Lastly, disabled.  Again, it depends.  I was REALLY into this girl who was so smoking hot with one leg in college.  She ran every day, and was in such good shape.  That woman was a goddess.  A one-legged goddess.  As for somebody with Down Syndrome, probably not.  I have my preferences, and so do you.

He/she/it then postulates that it’s a race thing (of course it is), and that if you don’t like every ethnicity, you’re racist.  By that logic, because I don’t find women with black hair as appealing as women with red hair, I hate black-haired women.  Do you hear how stupid that is?  Then comes what is CLEARLY projection on he/she/it’s part – if you don’t want to date a trans person, it’s discriminatory.  Well, Riley, I’m sorry, but no it’s not.  See, if I’m with a girl, and we’re getting intimate, and I see that there’s a dick there, then I’m immediately turned off.  I am bi, so I am open-minded, but if I am with a girl and I expect there to be a pussy down there, and there isn’t, then I am not attracted to her anymore.  If that hurts her feelings, I genuinely am sorry.  However, if she has seen fit to either not tell me or lie to me about her being in-transition (we’re not talking about the transtrenders like Milo Stewart, though if she wasn’t so annoying, I’d hit that.  I get the feeling that once she gets past all the sjw bullshit, she’ll be a fun girl to be around), then she didn’t trust me enough to tell me before taking the step of intimacy.  Can you not see why that would be insulting to me, Riley?

I hate that he/she/it is projecting this hard.  That’s what this entire video is.  See, Riley’s Twitter has he/she/it identifying as a lesbian.  Okay.  Then that means that he/she/it has been into girls before.  Part of that process involves having to talk to women you are interested in.  I’m guessing that they saw his/hers/its giant honking Adam’s Apple and maybe were a little put off.  See, women are just like men in that they have their own preferences.  And not all lesbians are going to magically just accept you because you are “non-binary.”  They will see the Adam’s Apple and while some might be understanding, I get the feeling that others have been immediately repulsed.  Or, failing that, they saw what I am assuming to be your average sized penis between your legs and were immediately turned off.  A few bad experiences in would-be relationships, Riley?  That’s how this reads.  It reads like you have had some bad experiences and instead of just accepting that you are in an unfortunate position of being sexually unappealing to a larger portion of your target sexual orientation, you chose to believe that it’s bigotry.

This entire fucking video is just Riley crying the blues about people not wanting to be with him/her/it and the belief that it says something about them and their “biases” (I fucking hate that term.  Just be honest about what you mean, you fucking hypocrite.  You want to say that they are prejudiced.  Just own that and be done with it) is just a dodge to pretend that you aren’t hurting about someone not being attracted to you.  I don’t like obese women because I am not attracted to someone who abuses their body with massive quantities of food.  I’m not attracted to women with a bobcut because I think that hair style looks good on NO ONE.  I’m not attracted to bleach-blonde hair because no one’s hair is naturally that color and it also looks good on NO ONE.  The girl I am into now is curvy as fuck, and has a few extra pounds on her.  She can’t do anything about the curvy hips, she was born with it.  An awesome person, though.

And I just KNOW that when he/she/it talks about people and their “biases,” they are talking about white people.  More specifically, white men.  I bet that if some black person came up to him/her/it and said that they find white people completely unattractive, they wouldn’t have some negative reaction.  It would probably be some statement about their empowerment or about how white people were oppressive or some dumb bullshit.  I don’t know.  These SJW critiques of how other people see things always comes back to the white devil.  Whitey is an awful fucker, isn’t he?  Us honkys are just the worst.  If only we were more like Riley, who I am certain is completely romantically and sexually open to all people.  Even though, by his/her/its logic, if they aren’t attracted to women, that means that they have “biases” against them.  Or if any gay man is only attracted to men with bushy beards, they are biased against men who can’t grow facial hair.  Or if a woman is only attracted to tall women, she is biased against short women.  There is no end to the combinations I could make with this bullshit argument.  It’s just that stupid.

Until next time, a quote,

“The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.” – H.L. Mencken

Peace out,

Maverick

You Are, Officially, Too Low-Hanging Fruit to Mock (A response to The Guardian)

When you see sites like The Mary Sue or the click-bait garbage fire that is BuzzFeed, you immediately realize that mocking their “articles” is a waste of time.  Why?  Because they are the lowest of the low-hanging fruit.  It’s like attacking shockofgod or VenomFangX’s videos.  We all know that they are trash.  It’s not even fun to ridicule such bullshit.  You feel like your time has been wasted and all you really got from the experience was older.  Then you have what some people believe is the higher-hanging fruit.  Kristi Winters challenged all non-sjws to go after the most rigid, academic sources and the most robust arguments that we could, in an effort to really grow as people.  Well, I can’t do that, because the sources that are supposed to have credibility are dying out, fast.  Which brings us to The Guardian.

Time was, this newspaper was regarded as an unbiased source, printing some of the most hard-hitting news, like when Edward Snowden went to them first to reveal the leaked info about the NSA.  They used to be one of the few publications telling the truth about the quagmire wars in the Middle East, while the rest of the media was sucking George Bush’s cock.  But those days are long gone.  Now we have the new Guardian.  This version is infested with sjws, and has them all writing articles, like this lovely tidbit.  I’m going to share the title with you (the link to the article will be in the title), and you can judge if this has added any value to anything in modern cultural discourse based on that.  You’re gonna love this.

The ‘tears of joy’ emoji is the worst of all – it’s used to gloat about human suffering

If you heard that title and aren’t immediately inclined to smash your head into the nearest wall, I genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with you.  This is what it’s come to.  We’re talking about emojis now.  Those stupid little things that people use the same way the Elcor do how they explain the emotion behind their statements to other species.  These stupid little things are now being equated to somehow gloating about human suffering.  Like you can’t be laughing so hard that you cry.  Nope, that never happens.  Instead, the article will go to all kinds of sjw logical leaps and bounds, like commenting on the Pepe frog, to make a contrived, bullshit point that this article is somehow indicative of people making light of human suffering.  This is the shit that I see and I can’t help but think that there’s no hope for journalism.  Because this is a mainstream publication putting this bullshit out.  Not some rag that we expect it from.  The Guardian is viewed as a respectable publication.  They have won Pulitzer’s, for fuck’s sake!  Now it’s come to this?!

The cackling grin and tears of mirth are the mockers’ attempt to tell us that, in a world full of human suffering, their brand of callous disregard is winning

What the fuck does that even mean?!  Winning?  At what?!  At not being as tinfoil hat-conspiracy nuts as you?  If so, then oh yeah, I won.  I won hard at that.  Because I don’t see “oppression” and “privilege” and all BS terms that you have everywhere.  I see the world not in black and white, but shades of grey.  I see nuance everywhere, which is something that the woman who wrote this article (Abi Wilkinson) is incapable of doing.  That sentence says nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Is that what The Guardian is aspiring towards?  Saying nothing?  Well, they let Jessica Valenti post articles with them.  So maybe.

I got my Bachelor’s in Journalism and Public Communication.  I was raised believing that the Fourth Estate’s job was to be the vanguards of democracy.  But that’s not what I see when I look at the news anymore.  I see every left-leaning news outlet doing whatever they can to tear Trump apart.  I see endless articles about white nationalists everywhere, as if they are the biggest threat in the universe right now.  Even though the last white nationalist gathering had 200 people at it.  To contrast, the last brony convention had 7,000 people attending.  Had they wanted to, those 7,000 bronies could have easily gone over to the white nationalist gathering and beaten the shit out of them.  There are more bronies than white nationalists.  That’s how seriously I take the “neo-Nazi” rise under President-elect Trump.  It’s a non-issue.  I wonder how many articles The Guardian has published about the “alt-right” and “neo-nazis.”  Take a look for yourselves.  Any publication with ANY credibility should see all this bullshit for the gross hyperbole it is.  But that seems to be too much for the poncy British assholes who write for this publication.

The sad reality is that journalism is dead.  The Fourth Estate is crumbling before my eyes, and the Fifth Estate “journalism” is a bad joke.  The punch line being that they so often report such sanctimonious garbage that anyone who can take them seriously anymore is a fucking retard.  And I’m done commenting about things that The Guardian has written.  They have officially become too low-hanging fruit to go after.  If Jessica Valenti’s contrasting articles about how men are too forward and she’s offended, and how men are too submissive and she misses when men weren’t so submissive (that woman’s lack of self-awareness is awe-inspiring) didn’t clue you in, perhaps this latest bit of intellectual diarrhea will.  We’re talking about fucking emojis now.  That’s the best that these British fucks can do.  And they make fun of Americans…why, again?

Until next time, a quote,

“For every complex problem, there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.” – H.L. Mencken

Peace out,

Maverick

What I’m Thankful For This Year (2016)

A long time ago, I did Academic Year in Review posts.  After I got done with college, I stopped that.  But I will be bringing it back with Year in Review posts.  So I won’t go into too much about what’s happened this year.  However, I can’t talk about the things that I am thankful for this year without going into it a bit.  Man, I am the king of digressions.  And this one starts out my post for Thanksgiving this year.  It’s been a very odd year, in that not a lot has legitimately happened.  A whole year, and my life has been pretty vanilla.  So this list will be a bit short, this year.  Take it for what you will.

My New Job

That’s right, I finally have a new job.  And it is…the most thankless, difficult, stressful job you can imagine.  I won’t say where or what it exactly is, but it is a state job that involves lots of money and children.  And people hate me for it.  I’m sure that you can extrapolate what it is based on that.  My resume is shitty beyond all reason.  However, I now am working for the state, doing a job that can only look absolutely fantastic on a resume.  I’m still in my probationary period for this job, but I got my interim review.  It was good, across the board.  My boss and I even had a heart-to-heart about my brain damage and how that has led to the depression that affects my negativity.  She understood, and even was able to boost her reviews of me by understanding that my way of being isn’t me trying to bother anyone.  I’m just damaged and trying as hard as I can to be the best employee I can.  The discussion about the review felt fantastic.

Of course, it’s not perfect.  It’s a state job, with all the strings that come with that.  The pay is NOT what I was hoping for.  My hopes of saving up are not going anywhere fast.  But it’s a launching point, and I am okay with that.  At the end of my six month period, I will be getting my first raise.  We’ll see what that equals out to.  My life is a living example of things not working out when I want them to, so I take whatever I can get.

My Parents

It’s hard for me to overstate just how much these people have done for me.  The best thing about getting this fantastic opportunity with the state is that I am FINALLY not having to go to them for money.  That was really bothering me inside, especially with the old man retiring this year.  He’s finally able to enjoy his twilight years.  And my mother calls him her “house bitch.”  I always said that he would go crazy inside an hour if he didn’t have work to do.  Either that or do like his old man and just wander around on his lawnmower talking to people.  Part of me can’t help but think that that might be something he starts doing compulsively – mowing the lawn.  Groj knows, the parents got enough of it.  They are living in the last home they will ever live in.  This is their twilight home.

For as much as I have asked from them for the past few years, it is always something I keep in the back of my mind that I owe them.  Both figuratively and literally.  But this new job doesn’t even pay me enough for that.  I can’t even save with it.  Adulthood is so fucking frustrating, sometimes.  But I keep at it, and hopefully I can actually pay them off.  And maybe get a new car so I don’t have to continue to borrow theirs.  Among other things in my life that are turning into such a pain.  They are two of the best people that a young man could ask for, and despite what I have been told when I was arguing with them in years past, I never took that for granted.  Not once.

My Gypsy Girl

The girl who came into my life on a strange day, and left in just as strange a way.  That girl and I have kept in touch.  It’s been a period of her being around, then not.  She’ll be chatty as fuck with me, and then disappear for weeks or even months.  However, through some of the darkness that I have had to power through in the last year, this girl has been someone that I could talk to.  I also call her my “complicated girl.”  That’s not an overstatement.  This girl is a strange as she is complicated, to the point that I don’t think even she understands her own motivations.

We have bonded over how much darkness we have in our lives.  My darkness is depression caused from brain damage, combined with a severe sense of self-loathing and frustration at my lack of a personal/sex life.  Her darkness is depression caused by substance abuse, a severe sense of self-loathing and frustration at her lack of a personal/sex life.  I haven’t met anyone who understand dwelling the unending darkness like her.  Were it not for forces greater than myself making it so that it can’t be, I would have asked her out ages ago and hopefully impressed her to the point that we would be dating.  Alas, that’s not how that story goes.  Right now we’re in a period of her going dark.  It’s all good.  However long it is, I know that I’ll get a text or call from her one day, and we’ll be able to talk again.  Even if it’s just me listening to her talk about her makeup.  It’s still a medication for what ails her and I.

As I said, the list would be short this year, so here is the biggest thing I am thankful for this year…

My New Friend, Kathryn

My cousin is a huge fan of Bill Burr, and has repeatedly shared with me the bit where he says that men and women can’t be friends as adults, because relationships will always come between them.  He may be right.  However, I take the people I find in my life as they come.  Her and I met the first day we started at the new job together.  It was her, myself, and another person sitting there.  It was awkward and quiet, so I decided to say something to break the ice.  That decision set the stage for one of the most enriching relationships I have had in years.  Her and I have bonded so much, so quickly.  I could tell that we would get along, and I have yet to be proven wrong.

Getting to talk to this girl, hang out, carpool to work, or go out to movies or to dine are the only things that I currently have to look forward to.  And I do.  More than you will ever know.  She is working with me to bring my comic book idea to life.  The girl is a genius.  But there is another part.  A part that bonds with my darkness.  You don’t need to know the details.  This part and me do have a connection, though.  One that I believe could lead to this being one of the strongest connections I have ever had.  Maybe I’m wrong.  I don’t know.  That’s part of why I want to expand things.

There’s the tricky part.  Like most socialite females, she’s a busy girl.  Relationships, family, other people.  I’m just a small part of that.  I know that.  Do I like it?  No.  But I am not so presumptuous of my importance in someone’s life to demand a special space.  I’m needy as fuck, don’t get me wrong, but I haven’t lied to her about that.  Honesty has been something that I strive for above all with this girl.  So many times in my life that proactive lies have gotten me out of a difficult spot, that it has become second-nature to me now.  Not her.  Not this one person.  Truth between us.  That’s a valuable thing.

That’s not to say that it’s been perfect.  Lately it has been a VERY rough patch, due to an old problem that has plagued me for so long.  One that I still fear will destroy what the two of us have.  However, I have done what I can to patch things up, for now.  And I made sure to leave a way for me to gauge if this will be like those other times, in a very simple way.  Anyone who knows me knows that I leave as little as I can to chance.

Those are the things that I’m thankful for this year.  Feel free to let me know what yours are in the Comments.

Until next time, a quote,

“Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.” – Karl Barth

Peace out,

Maverick

A Fairytale

Once upon a time, there was a prince of a faraway land.

The prince was a happy boy, who brought happiness into the lives of everyone he touched.  The subjects loved him, and so did the royal family.  Everyone did.  The young prince believed that the happy years would go on forever.

But then there was an accident, and the young prince was asleep for a long time.  The dreams he had there were nice, and he didn’t want to leave.  But he was brought back into the waking world, and all that greeted him was pain.  The Prince wasn’t well.  His body wasn’t made right, and so he hurt.

For many years, the prince dealt with the pain, all while trying not to let the royal family or his subjects see how hard it was.  It worked, for a while.  However, as the years went on, the prince found a darkness inside of him.  A dark passenger that he carries with him, to this day.

Once the pain in his body was gone, the prince tried to resume life as he had before the accident.  But life had changed.  Everyone in the prince’s life had become a different person.  They weren’t waiting for the prince anymore.  They had gone their own way.  The prince was sad.  He tried to bond with them again, but it didn’t work.

The prince left the kingdom, to go to a faraway school, which would prepare him to rule his kingdom, now that he was an adult.  The prince decided he was going to meet new people here, and make lots of new friends.  And so he did.  More years went by, and life was good again.

But, one by one, the new friends left.  Some hurt the prince in a way he couldn’t describe.  It was making the prince’s dark passenger very powerful inside.  The dark presence whispered things to him, about how everyone will hate him and how nobody really cares.  The prince started to believe in it, after a while.

So the prince tried to hold on to the friends he had, but it just made things worse.  He was so in need, and they couldn’t help him.  After a while, the prince was alone in this faraway land, as lost as when he arrived.  But all that is left for him in his kingdom is the royal family.  He loves them with all his heart, but it isn’t enough for the his lost and wayward heart.

Now, the prince has hatched a plan.  A plan to head away from this kingdom to one even farther away.  But deep down, the prince doesn’t actually believe it will work.  He just tells himself that it will, to try and fight his dark passenger.  The prince hates the dark passenger, and wishes he would go away.  But he never does.

There’s no happy ending to the prince’s story.  It still continues.  Perhaps one day, the prince will find a kingdom where he doesn’t have to hurt anymore.  It’s a little dream.

Until next time, a quote,

“Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” – G.K. Chesterton

Peace out,

Maverick

You Are Such a Spoiled Brat (A response to Zinnia Jones)

Oh look, another YouTuber who I used to respect, a long ass time ago.  It’s so strange to me, sometimes, to see how the landscape of the Internet has changed from when I started following this side of the ideological fence.  I remember in the early days, when Zinnia was a smarmy YouTuber with a good head on her shoulders and a sarcastic side that was fun.  Even featured some of her videos on my page when I was making a point.  But those days are LONG gone.  I haven’t watched one of her videos in years, and I wouldn’t have known about this if another YouTuber I follow hadn’t shared this lovely nugget of retardedness today.  It seems that in the years since I stopped following her, ZJ went more down the SJW rabbit hole, to the point that she has made a very public statement about how she feels about Trump, in probably the most juvenile video I have seen since the woman who was screaming that after Trump got elected, she needed an ambulance because she was going to kill herself.  Guess she didn’t need that ambulance before uploading the video to YouTube.  Funny how that works.  See the temper tantrum for yourself, then we’ll talk about it.

I swear, I have seen children screaming in department stores who I didn’t think are as a big a fucking brat as you are, Zinnia.  That’s what this was.  This was the “grown-up” equivalent of a child screaming because she didn’t get her way.

Let’s start with all the accusations.  You accuse Trump of being a racist, a misogynist, and hating the LGBT community.  That’s funny, but I didn’t see a SINGLE citation to any of that.  Not one.  At least with the misogynist one, you have a go-to line.  That’s one where I can see that you have something to back it up.  But when has Trump said that he hates an ethnic group?  Hell, despite how poorly he did, I saw him trying to reach out to the black community.  If only he had known that Hillary had that locked down.  The go-to line here is that he wants to get rid of all the immigrants.  Not a position I agree with, but it doesn’t mean that he hates all Mexicans.  And fuck, his whole thing about a wall is so paper-thin that he has even said that it would be a fence in places.  In other words, he is back-pedaling on that as fast as he can, because he realizes that it’s all just political theater anyway.

Oh, and the rapist deal.  Do we have definitive proof that he has raped anyone?  I would think the courts would like to see that.  There was a woman who was planning on taking him to civil court for sexual assault, but that mysteriously vanished the moment that he actually won.  Funny how that works.  I did hear something about child rape, but until I see something more concrete than an accusation and the media’s character assassination, I’m not taking that without a big-ass grain of salt.

But the real thing is just what a petulant child she looks like throughout this entire video.  This was nothing but yelling.  Yelling and crying that the person she wanted didn’t win.  Trump doesn’t know anything!  He’s a doo-doo head!  That’s how mature this looked, Zinnia!  I have said before that I have no respect for the right when they claim that they would NEVER do what the left is doing now.  There are plenty of pics from back in 2008 when they did just that.  However, I have even less respect for your ilk.  You are living proof that even a trans person can be a complete piece of shit, ZJ.

For many minutes, you go on and on about how Trump didn’t deserve to win, how he is just super stupid and should have lost the election because you don’t like it.  But you then go into being a disgusting pile of trash when you say that what you need to do, instead of working to unite the country and taking the rational approach to trying to affect policy, you say that we need to make Trump’s life as President as miserable as possible.  All that liberal talk of tolerance and trying to see other’s points of view?  Fuck that!  Maybe to show those that we vehemently disagree with that we can take a mature position and extend and olive branch.  Maybe we can show the conservatives who are being butthurt little bitches about the Hamiltons how reasonable discourse can work.  Fuck that!  Let’s do everything in our power to fuck with the President-Elect!  Let’s make his life in the White House miserable!  Let’s be childish pricks to this person who has yet to do one fucking thing as President of the United States!

In a way, I do like that ZJ has made this video.  I like that we get to see a transgender person be a fucking prick right now to someone who has not shown any inkling of deserving it.  Let’s throw out buzzwords to validate why we hate him and close our ears to anything that might disagree.  That’s the adult way to handle this!  That’s the tolerant way to go about disagreeing with someone!  Proof that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Part of me wants to be open to giving Trump a chance, but he isn’t making it easy.  All his talks about “draining the swamp,” and his entire administration is shaping up to be led by lobbyists and establishment politicians.  I can already tell that it will only be a matter of time before I join the chorus making fun of the guy.  This latest bit with the Hamiltons isn’t helping.  But then I see people like Zinnia, spoiled brats who clearly haven’t faced any legitimate hardships in their entire fucking lives, making it sound like she is going to fuck up Trump’s day purely out of spite, every day for her entire life, and trying to get other spoiled brats to join her.  It’s unreal.  Fuck you, ZJ.  You are immature in the worst way, and I remembered why I stopped watching you.  If you are meant to be the fact of social justice, then you and your stupid tattoo can fuck right off.

Until next time, a quote,

“You’re an unbelievably horrible person.  Wake up.” – Bearing

Peace out,

Maverick

Lucien’s Review: Arrival

arrivalWhen the film ended, and I looked over at my darling companion, the first thing she said is that this movie was complicated.  That’s a statement that can and DOES apply to all Denis Villeneuve’s movies.  This is a guy who expects nothing less than perfect from whatever he makes, and because of that puts out some of the most underrated films that I have ever seen.  The man loves to make his movies complicated, with both themes and symbolism that you can easily miss.  When my girl and I got to talking about the movie after we got done watching, I pointed out something that I am reasonably certain I caught that she missed.  I won’t say what it is.  I hope that there are going to be some fantastic arguments with people about all the parts of the movie.  This was the most unexpected sci-fi movie about aliens landing, and it is this movie that makes me absolutely certain that the sequel to Blade Runner (one of my all-time favorite films) is in good hands.

The plot of the film follows Amy Adams’ character, as a professor of language who seems to have had a tragedy befall her life.  I can’t tell you what it is.  Trust me, it plays into the plot in a big way.  While dealing with this, a series of strange crafts come to Earth from the stars.  The military asks her to come with them and help to establish contact, as they are completely unable to communicate with the beings.  The film chronicles her efforts to speak with the creatures, and decipher the one question that has the entire world on edge – what is your purpose on Earth?  A question that is far more difficult than you’d think to ask.

I cannot begin to praise how believable the elements of this film are without an INSANE level of exposition.  This feels so genuine.  So much of that pends on Amy Adams for her performance.  This woman is a rising star in my eyes of actresses.  She is fantastic in this role, and I hope to see her in more fantastic movies in the future.  The way she explains the usage of language and shows just how much of an academic understanding she has of the medium is wonderful.  When the film wants to show that knowledge, it does so incredibly well.  Amy Adams is the glue that held this movie together, and it is was damn-near perfect glue.

But let’s not cute short the rest of the performances.  Jeremy Renner is very good in his role.  You can see the development of his character from a science who takes what Adams’ character believes not seriously at all to respecting her as he sees just how good she is and how hard she is willing to push herself.  The relationship that develops between the two is believable and by the end, you feel their connection without some cliche kiss in the rain or something like that.  Just through little expressions, you see them growing on each other.

Then there is Forest Whitaker’s character.  In fact, everything to do with the military in this movie was worlds better than what you see the military like in other films.  Sure, they are quick to assume deadly intent, but you can see just how powerless and fearful they are.  This is so much bigger than any one nation, and as the situation grows more and more tense, globally, it makes sense why they are so on edge.  Whitaker grows to depend on his two experts feels real and even how he is having to obey orders when he knows that the situation is more complicated.  I hate in movies how the military is treated like some “let’s just shoot them” group.  Sure, we in ‘Murica do tend to shoot first and ask questions never, but in a situation where we don’t know if shooting might result in global destruction, even ‘Murica would have to bend to the idea of trying to find a peaceful solution.  Granted, there are some “we need to blow them up” moments, but there is enough time of them being unsure and trying to look into other alternatives that I can believe when it gets there.

Now let’s get to the effects in this movie.  I won’t claim that they are perfect.  In fact, there is one scene in-particular where Adams’ CG hair is so bad that it is kind of funny.  But this film keeps the visual effects to a minimum.  And when it wants to shine, it really does.  Since the entire conflict in the film is about translating the aliens’ language, the scenes where we get to see both sides communicating are just awesome.  I love the visual design for the language.  I wonder how much effort went into designing it.  Since Villeneuve tends to be an insane perfectionist in his movies, I get the feeling that it was a lot.

Lastly, if you are going to see this movie, keep in mind that it’s dense.  If you’ve seen this director’s other words, you should know that going into it.  It asks some pretty hard questions, and I can’t wait to get it on blu-ray so I can rewatch it and maybe do a Critical Examination of the film and some of the stuff I saw.  My compatriot wasn’t in the right mindset for how dense some of this got, but I could tell she was impressed when I took some of it and laid it straight.  Plus, I loved getting to watch a movie with her.  We don’t get to hang out nearly enough.  But she’s a busy girl.  Adulthood, am I right?

This was a fantastic movie.  It’s not for everyone.  If you are looking for some alien thriller with all kinds of action, you are DEFINITELY going to the wrong place.  I honestly recommend that anyone who wants to see this movie avoid trailers.  They spoil things.  This director doesn’t get the respect he deserves, but hopefully movies like this get him some more mainstream acclaim.  I can’t wait to see what he does with the Blade Runner universe.

Final Verdict
9 out of 10

Peace out,

Maverick