Kansas Pastor Wants Government to Murder Gays

I’m going to keep this short, because the person I am going to be writing about is obviously too stupid to understand smart things.  There is a preacher from Seneca, Kansas.  He is the pastor of the New Hope Baptist Church.  Hopefully you can find a way to contact them and send them this post, so that he can maybe realize how horrible he is.  The bit we are quoting is reasonably short, which is good, since Pastor Curtis Knapp is obviously too stupid to read long things.  That said, here we go.

They should be put to death.

Oh boy, well, he comes right out of the gate as a completely inhuman piece of shit, but let’s keep going.  I think that this will be really good.

That’s what happened in Israel. That’s why homosexuality wouldn’t have grown in  Israel.

Uh…I don’t know where you’ve been, Knapp, but Israel is pretty cool with the LGBT community.  They let gays openly serve in their military, and while they don’t allow gay marriage, they do legally recognize gay marriages from other nations.  So yeah, Israel doesn’t have all of these killings of homosexuals that you think do happen, and all for the better.

 It tends to limit conversions. It tends to limit people coming out of the  closet.

That’s right, people, Knapp is acknowledging that an environment of fear and murder makes people afraid to come forward and come out of the closet.  Not only should they be killed, but they should be afraid too.  Gee, if the first part of that wasn’t so disgusting and heartless, I might just have a problem with the second.

 ‘Oh, so you’re saying we should go out and start killing them, no?’ — I’m  saying the government should.

I love when Christians do this.  They don’t have the balls or the guts to do anything themselves.  They want other people to do their heavy lifting for them, to commit their sins (that’s right, murder is a sin, even though the Bible condones it so many times) for them.  That is so wonderfully hypocritical.  I would call this the worst possible statement of all time, but that would imply that Knapp has any form of a conscience to insult.  He clearly doesn’t, along with no balls or conviction of any kind, since he wants the government to do his dirty work for him.  Bleeding coward.  If you were a man of conviction, you would do as so many other Christians have done, and openly kill gay people.  But he won’t do that.  Murderers generally don’t do so well in American prisons.  Especially when getting ass-raped by other inmates!  Though that would be poetic justice.

They won’t but they should. [You say], ‘oh, I can’t believe you you’re horrible.  You’re a backwards neanderthal of a person.’ Is that what you’re calling  scripture? Is God a neanderthal backwards…

Why yes, God is just that.  He is a backwards neanderthal, who is devoid of any goodness of any kind.  Read the bible and it’s all there.  He advocates murder, rape, misogyny, cloaking it all in some kind of goodness that doesn’t really exist.  The fact is that the Christian God, the one from the Bible, is a disgusting, genocidal maniac who I wouldn’t follow anywhere.  Of course, as we can see with Knapp, he has a legion of rabid followers who will obey his every whim and advocate cold-blooded murder…by somebody else, since they don’t have the strength of conviction to do anything on their own (I am not advocating the murder of LGBT people, but you have to admit, it’s kind of pathetic that he wants somebody else, and goes out of his way to make this point, to do his dirty work).

 in his morality. Is it his word or not? If it’s his word, he commanded it. It’s  his idea, not mine. And I’m not ashamed of it.”

Of course you’re not ashamed.  You are a disgusting piece of shit.  You don’t even have the vaguest remnants of a soul, or the basic human decency to empathize with anybody, since murder (that somebody else performs) is something that you will get behind at a moment’s notice.  You, sir, are a piece of shit.  Simple as that.

Christians, these are the people that you surround yourself with.  For those of you who say, “it’s just what they believe, it doesn’t do any harm,” this is the refutation of that point.  If you are moderately religious, you have to answer for this, because you enable these people.  You enable people like this psychopath and his merry congregation who will happily listen to the proposition of murder by one of the most foul people ever to greet the world.

Pastor Curtis Knapp, I know that you are too stupid to get this, but here is the real truth – you are a disgusting human being, and if you got hit by a bus, the world would be a better place.  I don’t advocate violence against anyone, but if by some chance a series of events should come to pass where you got splattered into street-pizza by a bus, I would be eternally grateful.  You are a sick, disgusting human being.

Until next time, a quote,

“Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don’t have all the answers to think that they do. Most people would think it’s wonderful when someone says, “I’m willing, Lord! I’ll do whatever you want me to do!” Except that since there are no gods actually talking to us, that void is filled in by people with their own corruptions and limitations and agendas.”  -Bill Maher, Religulous

Peace out,

Maverick

This is beyond ridiculous. This judge is such a dick!

Lefty on the Left

It’s no surprise that the latest of the abominations against taste in this country comes from Texas.  It has become a routine with them.  First there was Gov. Rick Perry talking about them seceding from the Union (if only they would).  Then there was Gov. Rick Perry completely ignoring the 1st Amendment and have a state-funded and state-run prayer gathering in a stadium.  Then there was the story about the school in Texas that kicked a disabled girl out of school for having to have a walker.

And now, there is a 17 year old honor student named Diane Tran who was sent to jail for missing too much class.  Tran is a an AP student, taking college courses, and works a full-time and part-time job to support her two siblings, along with herself.  She does that along with dealing with the social issues of being a 17 year…

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Video Game Confessions: Desmond Miles

Being a journalism major, and a future journalist, suffice it to say that I get around.  In my travels, I have met some of the most insane characters!  These are the kinds of people that most nerds only dream of seeing, and I have gotten to meet, in the flesh.  And, seeing as how it is late, there is soft jazz music playing, and I am feeling all deep and introspective, I thought that I would tell you one of my stories now.

I went to this occasion for my column that I am writing.  It was a total bore.  Nothing but people in nice outfits sucking each other’s metaphorical dick to show how nice they are.  As I was leaving, I ran into somebody who I don’t know if I would have recognized not too long ago.  He’s a relative newcomer to this field, and it was really cool to meet him in person.  It was Desmond Miles, from the Assassin’s Creed games.  I was so stoked to meet him.  I introduced myself, saying how I loved his work.  I asked if I could get an interview.  Here was a moment of lack of professional pride, as I erased all the audio from the event I had attended.  It was boring.  This was much more interesting.

We sat down at a coffee place, having got a coffee.  I asked Desmond.  “So, you have a new game coming out this year.  You pretty stoked about that?”  He nodded.

“Sure, I am.  I am looking forward to seeing this come to a conclusion.  It has been loads of fun.”

I ask him, “you know, Desmond, I don’t know if this is like a company secret or something, but do you ever just mess around in the Animus?  Like just go into an ancestor’s life and screw around in their world?”  He smiled, nodding.

“Oh yeah.  I learned something really cool about the Animus.  You know the Bleeding Effect?  The thing that I was using to get all badass and learn to be an Assassin?”

I nod, taking notes.  “Yeah, I know all about it.  It sounds really cool.  I’d love to go in and see what some of my ancestors were like.  I don’t figure that they are superheroes like your ancestors’, but still, it sounds awesome.”  He smiled again, nodding.

“Yeah, it is pretty sweet, but I found out that you can do more than just learn how to be an Assassin from the Bleeding Effect.  You can also learn how to be great in bed!”

I almost spit out my drink.  “What?!”  He laughed heartily.

 “Oh yeah!  Man, getting to be Ezio was awesome!  That dude got so much pussy that it wasn’t even funny.  Now, in the game, you can’t see or hear it, but I got to experience it, and man, you get to feel everything.  I learned all about this guy’s technique.  And he wasn’t even the biggest man-whore!  I had an ancestor who was the fuck-buddy to all kinds of nobility in England a hundred years later.  This guy had such mad skill!  He didn’t do anything important, but I used the Bleeding Effect to get all kinds of skills.  And man did it pay off!  I gotta tell ya, ever since I got out of there, I have been putting these skills to work in ways you wouldn’t imagine.  I got so much action.  There was the programmer girl, Rebecca.  Word got out after that, and I hit up girl after girl who was working for the Assassins.  I even was able to put it to work against the Templar.  You’d be amazed how many of them would spill after a trip to bed.  Easiest interrogations that I have ever done!”

I was in shock.  “No shit!  Say hey, did you ever hook up with Lucy?”  His face then got a little more sullen.

“Yeah, Lucy and I were starting to get really close.  We did hook up once, and I think she was looking for a real relationship.”

I looked down for a second, taking another sip of my drink.  “Wow, did you want one too?”

“Oh sure.  Yeah, she was a lot of fun, she was really smart and determined.  She also had a lot of mad-skill in bed.  It was a lot of fun to be with her.  To be honest, I haven’t really enjoyed a night of sexual escapades like when I was with her.  She just made it all really nice.  It’s not for lack of trying, though.  Part of me thinks that maybe I kind of lost the idea of love, but I keep hoping that I will find it again.”

I saw the look on his face, and another question occured to me.  I was hoping to lighten the mood.  “So, did you get any other odds and ends skills through the Bleeding Effect that you could mess with people?”  This did put a smile back on his face.

“Oh man, I had an ancestor from the 1800’s, and man was this kid a little shit!  He didn’t live very long, because one of his pranks got him killed, which is kind of ironic, since it killed the Templars who were after him, but I learned all sorts of neat tricks from him.  I have been pulling practical joke after practical joke, all with these simple set-ups to make things like buckets fall on people or to have animals come running through and knock them over.  It has been loads of fun.  I also learned how to ride a horse backwards.  When you are in Italy, trying to mess with people, that can be just the best!  It has been a lot of fun.  Sure, I do have to fight the Templar, and that is a really big thing, but the way I see it, it’s like any job.  If you don’t have fun with it, you end up feeling like crap.”

I nod, smiling as I talk notes.  “That’s pretty smart.  So, now that you have wrapped up the Assassin’s bit, what are you going to do next?”  There was a bit of a pause, as he tried to think that one through.

“Well, I may just become a professional assassin.  Or maybe I’ll see if I can get with Lara Croft on her adventures.  See if I can put my skills to work with her.  I bet she’s been around the bend.  Did you hear that she is with Fox McCloud now?  How the hell did that little fox get with her?!  I figure that he must be the luckiest son of a bitch in the universe.  But hey, I can dream, can’t I?”

Despite trying to sound upbeat, I could see that there was a twinge of sadness there.  It was kind of a bummer, really.  The woman he really loves dies, and now all he can do is to have crazy sex with women to express any intimacy.  Kind of sad, really.  But I guess that’s how it goes.  And it makes him happy.  And I can’t believe the Fox actually got with Lara!  Good on him.  I was hoping that things would work out between those two.

Desmond got up, shook my hand, and headed off.  Man, I need to get some time in the Animus…

Peace out,

Maverick

Relationship Advice: Sexual Preference

Now here is one of these posts that some will agree, many probably won’t.  My position on people and their sexual preferences is nowhere near as popular as the rest of the population.  It’s much the same as my position and drugs, which is that I think all narcotics should be legalized and taxed.  The drug war is a farce, but this country’s government won’t get that through their heads.  I have never been one of those people who has been for an organized position.  My positions are my own, so if you don’t agree, I guess that’s where we are.

Everybody has their kink.  That’s a fact.  Everybody has the form of sexuality and sexual expression that they prefer.  This is not something to be ashamed of, or to look down upon, so long as it isn’t something like pedophilia.  The Catholic church is among the many religious groups who would disagree.  The Catholics believe that if sex isn’t missionary and for the purpose of bearing off-spring, it’s wrong.  Religion has a lot of backwards ideas about sex.  Repression of sexuality has been part of the religious modus operandi for generations.  Even now, they are desperately trying to continue repressing human sexuality, such as trying to stop gays and lesbians from expressing their love and lust.  It seems that nobody reminded the religious in this country that these people aren’t hurting them in any way.

However, whatever your preference, there is only one thing that it all comes down to – consent.  For real, that’s it.  It doesn’t matter where your kinks go.  If you are into the S&M scene, which I have dabbled in with my late fiance.  If your preferences go more toward being with more person than one, aka. polyamory.  If you find yourself wanting to have huge orgies in your living room.

Also, I have this opinion about some of the things that society as a whole really looks down on – such as incest.  If both parties are of age to consent, and in this case, understand that having kids is a completely out of the question idea, then I truly don’t care what two people do with their romance.  Looking at incest, this ties in to my second requirement – that it doesn’t hurt anyone else.  Two or more people can have whatever type of relations they want, so long as they are able to consent, and are not causing harm to anybody outside of that.

There is a saying that I can punch the air all I want, but my freedom to punch ends at your face.  That is where I stand.  So long as you are also not hurting another person, you can do what you want.  Inbreeding is causing harm to somebody else.  Harm to a person who cannot choose to stop you.  So yeah, those are my two criteria.

But what interests me more than that is society will massively come down against any relationship that they can find some fault with.  Furries are regarded as weird, gross and too bizarre for words.  To many religious people, so are the LGBT crowd.  They are “unnatural,” or wrong.  Calling something unnatural, what a farce.  It is so much easier to find the faults of other things than to justify their own beliefs, their own ways of doing things.

I think that’s a referendum to this country as a whole.  We will justify anything that we can have a culture to back, but the moment that any activity doesn’t conform with their ideals, it is quickly attacked and ridiculed by society.  It must be easier, on some fundamental level, to simply choose to hate something, than to try and understand it.  Religion has been doing this for thousands of years.  They don’t even try to understand people who have a different interpretation of their own faith.  The Catholics and Mormons are probably the most infamous for doing this.

There is a greater issue that I mean to tackle in this post.  It is time for us, as Americans and a human race to start to expand our way of thinking.  We have to start being more open-minded.  I have come on this blog a lot and have used this to express my fury, my anger, and vent my frustration at the stupidity of culture, but the real truth is that all of the groups that I have gone after, such as Real Catholic TV and others, are merely symptoms of the general disease that afflicts our society – lack of understanding and no desire to learn.

The truth is that we seem, as a group, to come together and find reasons to hate people, rather than finding reasons to love them, to accept them.  I have modeled a lot my more recent behaviors on not going after religion as a whole, just certain practices, and the people who are bigoted and are trying to change society for the worse.  However, society has to take some responsibility too.

All sorts of people are in favor of gay marriage, but the number of people in favor of polygamy is vastly inferior to that.  Like we can be in favor of one thing, but not the other?  The hypocrisy of this boggles the mind.  Similarly, how we approach sexuality must be the same.  We have to be open, so long as all parties involved are consenting, able to consent, and not hurting anybody else.

Of course, that may be too much to ask from this country.  Nowhere in the entire world is there a 1st-world nation which puts its bigotry on display like America.  We put it on billboards and on church signs, telling people that if they are this way or that way, they are hated and will burn in hell.  How easy it must be to simply jump right to hatred.

America, the nation which makes hate acceptable, not shunned of shamed.  But for those of you who feel that you are doing the wrong thing, or want the wrong thing, sexually, so long as you have consent and are not hurting anybody else, it’s okay.  It’s all okay.  Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

Until next time, a quote,

“Sex is a part of nature.  I go along with nature.”  -Marilyn Monroe

Peace out,

Maverick

A good show, if you have the chance to check it out.

Lefty on the Left

This can’t be a true review, since the series is still going, and has only truly gotten started.  However, this is what we think of the new series thus far, and what nickelodean has given us, which is actually quite something.

When people saw the previews for this new series, a lot of people were skeptical, and rightly so.  The original series, Avatar: The Last Airbender was a show with some great characters, great visuals, great themes and a very fitting climax.  The makers of Legend of Korra promised something completely different, and as you can imagine, a lot of people raised some eyebrows with this.  However, we were not disappointed.

Legend of Korra takes an 100% different approach than the previous series.  Unlike in Last Airbender, where Aang is going around the world learning all of his Bending skills, Korra (the protagonist) knows almost all of them.  She is…

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Rev. Jesse Peterson: Misogynist of the day

So, as usual, I was introduced to a person via YouTube.  His name is Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson.  I originally saw this video on The Amazing Atheist’s channel, but I thought that I would go after this guy with my own interpretation, just so I can have fun.  As with all these other posts, here is a link, and let’s go.

I want to say goodbye to America.

Well, I guess he’s leaving.  That’s one less stupid person here in America.  Well, and I thought this was going to be an annoying video.  Thank goodness.

Uh, it’s over.  My America is gone.

I wasn’t aware that you had copyright ownership of America.  I thought that Wal-Mart had that one.

It’s unfortunate, but it’s over.  And short of God intervening, I don’t see a turnaround.

If this guy is waiting for God to do something, he’ll be waiting a while.  I think he’s got a backlog of desperate prayers from Ethiopian children who are starving to death that he will never answer.  Or maybe he is working back on the prayers of Haitian women being beaten and raped by psychotic gangs that he is going to never get done.  Yeah, preach, I think that you will be waiting a while.

I still have hope, I’m not hopeless, but I don’t see any turnaround.  I realize that one of the primary reasons that it is over for America is because women are taking over.

Here we go.  Stupidity begins!  You’re one of these Christians, who think that women are the problem.  I was hoping that you weren’t that stupid, but okay, I will listen to you.

But, uh, not all.  There are some, a few out there, that are logical women and can make sound decisions, but most

Oh boy, this is gonna be good.

cannot.

*facepalm* Yes, most women are apparently too stupid to make sound decisions.  I’m assuming that you are talking about women who don’t share your views and your values.  I’m sure you’re not talking about women who are empowered and think that you’re full of shit.

Um, and the unfortunate thing is that they’re in powerful positions.  They’re running businesses and things like that.  And the one thing I know, for sure, without a doubt,

I think we caught that you are serious when you said “for sure,” you sexist douchebag.  But yeah, women are in positions of power over men, and that’s bad.  That’s your premise.  Okay.  Let’s just keep moving.  We’ve got a lot more ground to cover.

women cannot handle power.

Oh my god are you stupid!  Oh shit, you couldn’t be dumber.  This is like watching a truck driver think he can plow through a brick wall with his car.  That hurts my brain to hear.

It’s not in them to handle power in the right way.  They don’t know what to do with it.

And your evidence for this is…what, exactly?  I’m curious, how did you arrive to this conclusion?  What metric of reading data did you use to find out that women cannot handle power?

And then secondly, it’s not real power anyway.

What?  What kind of power is it?

Power that the world gives you is not power.  It’s all ego-building.  Real, true power comes from God.

And how exactly do you tap into that?  This is so dumb that it honestly makes my brain hurt.  Preach, you are so stupid, but you don’t know it.  First, yes it is power.  If you have control of a business or a state or a country, you better believe that you have real power, because you can really change things, in a substantial way.  Next, since God has made no appearance since they discovered how to document things, there is no metric for measuring this God-given power that you have canonized so much.  Not to mention, you sexist pig, if women have no real power, how are they a danger to America?

And God is the that gave man the power and authority, over the wife.  And to spiritually guide the world.

Yet another person taking lessons from a book of desert fairytales that have no place in the real world.  And men are not the brilliant geniuses that you seem to believe.  There are plenty of dumb-shit guys who can’t find their dicks without two hands a road-map.  You are not only unfactual, but you are just funny in how stupid you actually are.

And I realize that men’ve made mistakes in the past.  But most men did not make mistakes in the past.  When men were in charge, things were tougher and, you know, more solid.

What does that mean, exactly?  How can things be tougher and more solid?  That’s something to describe the base of one’s home.  You associate it with people now.

And, the one thing I realize is that the world has done to women, women have been degraded.  Women are now degraded.  They have no shame.

I find it so ironic that you are saying that women have been degraded, while you are at a pulpit, degrading them.  The hypocrisy is so sweet.  And by the way, what exactly should they be ashamed of?  Having power?  Yes, because being an empowered woman is just the worst!

 Women are just sitting there, testifying about how much sex they’re having out of wed-lock.  And all these women into all this stuff, with now shame.  Women would not have done that in the good old days.  There would have been a sense of shame about it.

Yes, back in the good old days, women would be ashamed about having their own sexuality.  And that is the good old days you want to go back to.  Back when beating a woman was socially acceptable?  There was a time in America, not too especially long ago, that smacking your woman was considered socially okay, so long as it was done in private.  You want violence against women, preach?  Or maybe you want to go back to the Bible’s way of doing things, where women are nothing but sex objects that must obey men and create kids.  Either way, that’s just pathetic and sick.

But she had no shame about it, and I’m like ‘wow.’  First of all, she’s presented herself, Rush Limbaugh called her a ‘slut.’  And she didn’t realize that she looked like a slut, sitting there making that type of confessing, confession (he can’t speak, like most sexist bigots).

So, he’s talking about Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown student who was trying to secure contraception from women, not just for sexual purposes, but also for all the purposes outside of that, like helping women who have especially hardcore periods, or ovarian cysts.  Yeah, she didn’t realize that she looked like a slut, that’s what you’re arguing?  The same way that you don’t realize that you look like an asshole, preach?

And I’m thinking, ‘wow, what happened to women’ that this is okay to, um, export themselves in a way.  How did we get to a point where women think we can pay for them to have sex?

We don’t.  We have women who think that private insurance companies, not churches, should be required to pay for contraception.  Not an unfair request.  They aren’t asking for you or your congregation to pay anything, but for the private companies to have to cover it.

How did we get to a point, they want to force us to buy them birth control?  You know, was I sleeping when this was happening?

Obviously, since you didn’t get the memo that we are doing no such thing.

You know, I didn’t see this coming.

Clearly, since you are misrepresenting it to your clearly ignorant audience.

It blows my mind.  No one is saying, ‘where’s your shame, woman?  Why aren’t you embarassed?  What happened to you?’  And it’s unfortunate that women are allowed, that men are so weak, have been so intimidated, that they allow these women to just run wild and screw up everything.

What exactly have women screwed up?  You are making character misrepresentations, along with attacking things you clearly don’t understand, but what evidence do you have of things that are screwed up?!  Where is that evidence?!  You’ve just rambled on, saying nothing about what women have supposedly screwed up.

It’s another big mistake to, and I think I may have hit on this already,

That’s never a good sign, when you realize you are just restating what you have already said,

is to put women into powerful positions,  businesses and job, because they can’t handle stress.  They can’t handle anything.

One gave birth to your sorry ass.  That’s an accomplishment.

You walk up to them with an issue, they freak out right away.

You know, preach, look up some of the statistics one of these days about how women fair so much better than men in survival situations.

Especially if they can’t get the problem resolved right away.  I’ve seen it happen at airports and banks and the post office, one issue goes wrong, and they go nuts.  They get mad, they get upset, just like that.  They have no patience.

Oh my god, you just went there.  You literally just equated women having an issue at a post office to a woman not being able to run a country?!  Un-fucking-believable.  Some part of you has to realize that you are nothing but scum, right?  Some insignificant part of you has to get that there is nothing decent in that misogynist brain of yours, right?  Please tell me that you have an inkling of understanding, because I need to believe that you do.

 Because it’s not in their nature, they don’t have love.

Women don’t have LOVE?!?!  I’m having a brain melt-down for how stupid this is!  This can’t get any dumber!  You are the stupidest person the face of the fucking planet!  You are the dumbest person in the world!

One of the greatest mistakes that America made was to allow women the opportunity to vote.  We should have never turned it over to women.

Wow…

And these women are voting in the wrong people.  They are voting in people who are evil, who agrees with them, who are going to take us down this pathway of destruction.

You know, for saying that women have no real power, you certainly do ascribe a lot of power to them, you know that?

And this is probably the reason that they didn’t allow women to vote when men were men.

As opposed to, us now being all…hemaphrodites?

Because men, in the good old days, understood the nature of the woman.  They were not afraid to deal with it.  And they understood that if you let them take over, this is what would happen.

What has happened, exactly?  Could you please explain?!  A vast majority of Congress is men.  The President is a man.  His cabinet is filled with mostly men.  What exactly have women been able to achieve, you dim-witted, brain-dead, misogynist?  Not to mention, you have clearly demonstrated that you don’t know jack-shit about women.  Not one fucking thing.

But this is how evil is coming in.  It’s coming through the woman.  It really is.  I know ya’ll don’t want to hear it, but it’s the truth, so help me.

Oh I’ll help you.  Right off the edge of a cliff.

And if you doubt me, all you have to do is look around, open up your eyes and look around yourself and see it for yourself.

Yeah, because shit in this country has gotten so bad.  We are doing better than almost any nation on Earth, we are falling massively behind the rest of the 1st-world, but hey, that’s a small problem, right?  Everything has just gone to shit.  According to you.

It’s not hard to see anymore.  Look at every place where a woman is in control, and it may be not all, but most

Stop right there!  You just every place where a woman is control, but some still reasonable part of your brain concedes that it isn’t all places?  I love how you don’t catch that.

you see nothing but confusion.  There is no good in it at all, none.

Preach, I can totally understand why you are confused.  But I’ll explain it – you’re an idiot.

If you speak the truth, they’ll shut you down.  But if you go along with it, if you speak lies, then they’re just fine with it.  Don’t worry about your freedom.

Oh yes, because the freedom of speech is just so fucking dead.  Moron…

But if you disagree, your freedom of truth, truth-speak, truth-speech, is being shut-down.

Evidence?

And it’s just happening.  It looks like it can’t be stopped.  It’s just happening.  Because women are in positions of power.

Nobody is shutting you down, you sexist pig.  You have the freedom to say your sexist bullshit all you want, and we have the freedom to call you out on it.  You are on Fox News all the time, bitching about women with your equally stupid friend, Sean Hannity.  You have all the press coverage in the world, so how are you bitching about how you are being shut down?

What you don’t like is that we don’t agree with you . We call bullshit on you, and that is what you don’t like.  Well guess what, Preach, too fucking bad.  You don’t get the right to dictate our morals and our values to us, much as you and that holy book you cling to so hard try.

You can look at the homes, you can look at the businesses, you can look at the community.  Wherever women are in schools, wherever women are taking over, evil reigns.

And you close with more sexism.  You close with the stupid belief that women shouldn’t get an education, either.  Man, you and the Muslims have so much in common!

Here is what I want you all to do.  Go visit their website –

bondinfo.org

Call their phone number-

1-800-411-BOND

And tell these people what they and their sexist values can go and do.

Until next time, a quote,

“Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, we will vist, and we will call, but you ain’t gonna fucking like it.”  -TJ Kincaid, JESSE PETERSON: WORST PERSON EVER?!  

Peace out,

Maverick

Top 10 Reasons that Final Fantasy XIII-2 SUCKS!!

Well, I’ve done a lot of these posts talking about the things I like, but now I thought I would join the choir of people bitching about things on the internet.  Look, I’m a die-hard fan of Final Fantasy.  A lot of their games have been inventive, smart, unique and had stories that one could get into.  You cared about what they were making.  We were all burned by XIII.  The completely linear nature of a Final Fantasy game was a betrayal to the genre and to what it represented.  But we at least respected elements of it.  The same, however, cannot be said for XIII-2.  This game is, by far, the stupidest and most boring fantasy game that we have ever played.  And even though many of you won’t care, here is what killed this game, almost from the starting point.

10. Almost NO Lightning!
The reason a lot of us keep playing XIII is because of Lightning.  She’s hot, she’s cool, she’s got a kick-ass voice.  She is most definitely one of the most badass of the Final Fantasy heroes, and if she isn’t in Kingdom Hearts III, somebody is getting punched in the vag.  But seriously, you see Lightning a lot, and you get to play her at the very beginning, but we didn’t want to play as her dim-witted little sister.  We wanted to play as Lightning!  I kind of like Noel, don’t get me wrong (when he isn’t speaking), but having so little of her in this game is bullshit.  Right from the starting line, this game fails.

9. Less Explorable Area than XIII
Oh yeah, I went there.  I will give XIII credit for what they did have.  The areas in that game were gorgeous and they were interesting.  You really liked those places.  That’s why so many fans were pissed off that you had to just leave them and could never go back.  They were gorgeous!  Let us stay there, you idiots!  Let us explore!  Give us side-quests!  In this game, you have so many time-zones that are just the same area with a different date attached.  Granted, some of the places do look nice, like Academia, but you have so little to do there that you don’t care what you are looking at.  And this ties into the #1 selection, but we’ll get there when we get there.

8. Time Travel is Bullshit!
When I heard how this game was going to work, using time travel to go all over the place, my first thought was that this was to give the fans of XIII’s areas a chance to go back and explore them.  That’s pretty clever.  I wouldn’t be bitching on here if that was the case, because that would be a nice way to save face.  Instead, we are getting all new places, which aren’t especially interesting to look at, and unlocking them can be such a pain in the ass, with so little payoff!  This segment of the game was boring, and clearly just made to expand playing time.

7. Dumbed-down Crystarium
Another thing that I’ll give credit to XIII for was the way you leveled up.  The Crystarium was a pretty unique engine, and you had to devote time and energy to building it.  Getting stronger was an effort, and you had to work at it.  That’s pretty cool.  In this game, they make leveling up so unbelievably easy that within a few worlds, you are a God.  And each new place they send you to makes leveling up that much easier because you get so much more CP each place.  Sometimes being a God can be fun, like after you beat a game and you want to lay some pwnage onto enemies who you had trouble with before, but here, it is so unbelievably easy that it takes all the fun out of any potential challenge.

6. Pointless Monsters you can control/No third character
This was another element that was thrown in to make playing longer, and you can so clearly tell.  What makes it worse is that these monsters are obviously filling in for not having a third character.  What’s worse than that is that leveling them up is a pain in the ass, and they have such varying health bars that some monsters, like the ones who are a medic, can be a complete anchor to your in a fight, especially since you don’t start out with a Medic role in your party, which is also so stupid.  Instead of having all these monsters, they should have just given us another character, or maybe made the monsters more even, or level up better.  Ironically, your characters level up like gods, and monsters can be a lead ball around your ankle.

5. Characters OBVIOUSLY shoe-horned in!
Now look, I have some love for a lot of the case of XIII.  I love Lightning, liked Hope (when he had vengeance on the brain), liked Sazh, Liked Fang, tolerated Vanille, and hated with a bitter passion Snow.  But in this game, they just threw characters into situations just so they could have them in the game.  That kind of laziness bugs me.  It bugs me so much because this is Final Fantasy.  Even if you don’t like the games, you have to admit that they do try to make characters who fit with the story.  Even in XII they did that!  In this game, they aren’t even trying.  They just throw a character into a situation, and think that we are stupid enough to buy it.  The lack of respect for fans and their intelligence just annoys the living shit out of me.

4. Side-quests OBVIOUSLY made to prolong play time
Now look, in some ways, that is what all side-quests are, but here’s the thing – they shouldn’t blatantly feel like that is what they are doing.  In Batman: Arkham City, the side-quests felt just as relevant as the main story.  Now, that is a total exception to the way they normally are, but in other games, the side quests do seem to have a point, or at least get you cool stuff, like unique equipment or what have you.  The whole reason players play side-quests is so that we can feel more enriched and feel accomplished.  You don’t get that from XIII-2.  You merely feel like you are just doing more stuff, like it is adding time to your gameplay time clock.  That should never been how side-quests in any game are handled.

3. Characters are not developed AT ALL!
Say what you will for some of the melodramatic moments from XIII, at least they did take time to develop character and to make you care about them.  This game literally does nothing to advance the plot.  When I first saw Serah taking off to go on an adventure with Noel, this other guy, I thought to myself “ah yeah, you’re going to the route of her starting to fall for him, right?  It’s a bit cliche, but I hate Snow, so I’m all for it.”  They didn’t even do that.  They did nothing to make these character seem 3-dimensional.  You literally don’t care about anything that is happening while it is happening.

2. All the Pointless DLC
More and more games it seems are taking the strategy of trying to fix their problems with DLC.  Batman: Arkham City is the only game that I have seen that isn’t just shoe-horning something in.  Harley Quinn’s Revenge is an addition to the story, a new playable character, new situations and new settings.  It adds to the story.  In this game, they just threw shit in there in order to make the player spend more money and more time trying to suffer through this game.  Really, not one thing is worth the money you’ll spend on it, not one.

This brings me to my #1 reason why this game sucked, which just pisses me off –

1. Why???
Why did they make this game?  It’s not the game anybody wanted.  It’s not the game anybody cared about.  It’s starting to seem to me like Square Enix doesn’t even care about the Final Fantasy series anymore.  The game we are all waiting for, Final Fantasy Versus XIII has been pretty much declared vaporware by everybody.  It isn’t going to be at E3 this year, it hasn’t gone anywhere since 2006 when it was announced.  We have been waiting six years, and most players have just given up.  If it doesn’t come out either this year or next, it’s never coming at all.  Square Enix has fucked up a lot of their potential with these pointless games.  Instead they could have released Versus XIII by now, or be working on a remake of VII, which would be the biggest cash-cow that Square Enix has seen in years.  This game was pointless, completely and utterly pointless.  It was a waste of time to make, and a waste of time and money to play.

Learn something, Square Enix, or just give up.

Peace out,

Maverick

The Hospital Bed

An excerpt from something I wrote in summer 2003.  I found it in the back of a drawer today.

Wind.  It’s the thing that we always missed.  Staring out the window, watching the trees blow in it, it is the thing that we miss the most.  The clouds are barely in the blue sky outside.  They pass by, as if saying hello.  It is a sad place, a sad time.  Yet why is the sun shining?  If it is sad, wouldn’t it be ugly out there?  Some part of this has to make sense.  All I see is the shining sun, the green trees and the blowing wind.

This bed has become my tomb.  The doctors come in, a few times every day.  They track the progress of our muscle growth.  Family is all over the place.  Loathesome people won’t give me a moment’s peace.  I am never alone, never private.  This bed has become my prison.  This bed has become my chain.  Will I ever escape it?

If only peace was granted to us, maybe that would make this all easier.  Easier for the part of us that wants to just cry.  In this bed, in this place, tears are all that makes sense.  Yet the sun shines.  Why?  Please, be ugly outside.  Don’t leave us feeling like that place is taunting us.  Don’t leave us feeling like that place mocking us for not being able to go out into it.  To run free and live free.  To dance and sing to the sky, because we can’t leave this hospital bed.

Though there is one saving grace.  We have seen her that girl who never speaks.  She never has anything to say, but has a look on her face that tells us that everything will be okay.  She has a giant gash across her neck.  I want to know her more.  I want to talk to her, even if she can’t talk.  I would do everything I could to read her, so I could learn her story and her life.  What is her name?  Where did she come from?  Does she have a family?  Do they love her?  Would they leave her alone for a while, so she could get some privacy?  I bet they would.

The dreams, what few we get, they are a reprieve.  We are able to run and dance and be free there.  There is a field.  The grass blows in the wind, and it is always pleasant and cool, with the sun bearing down from the sky in a very hot way.  We are able to be free in that place.  We run with the girl we see here.  The one who never speaks.  I have a name for her.  I call her “Zero,” because that is all that she has to say.  But it’s okay.  Even if she has nothing to say, she is still a friend to me.  I am going to make a point to keep with her after this is all over with.  I want to get to know her, and for her to know me.

My best friend hasn’t visited me.  Sara.  She hasn’t come at all.  Why?  I think she’s angry with me.  I said something really mean to her.  I didn’t mean to!  I swear that I didn’t!  I just…I said something dumb.  I always meant to apologize to her after it was done.  I am really starting to like her.  I mean like, like her.  Not just as a friend.  I have a plan.  After school starts, I am going to tell her that I like her.  That’s a good plan, right?  We’re very different people, but love can overcome that, right?  I think it can.  It’s strange, but a me from not too long ago would have mocked me for thinking about stuff like this.  The me that is now thinks that it’s all really nice.  Change, it’s…not so bad.  Well, change that isn’t this place.

When I get out of the hospital, I’m heading home.  More family there, endlessly telling me how they think I am doing so well, and how good I look.  Lousy assholes took a picture of me with all the tubes and whatnot in my head.  Why?!  Why the hell did they do that?!  Something to remind me?!  Seems really rude.

But I don’t want to say that.  I don’t hate my family.  At least, not all of them.  There are some that I have really liked seeing.  Seeing Mandy and Griffin again was great.  I love those two to death.  I have always felt bad for how I treated Mandy all these years, but not why you think.  I was never mean to her, I just…I felt like sometimes I was excluding her.  It was never right, and I am hoping to make it up someday.  Hopefully we will always be as tight as we are now.  She’s a sweetie.  Griffin is great too.  He’s the brother that I never had.  He was able to come here, so I figure Patty the Hun was able let her claws off of him long enough for him to come see me.  That’s really sweet.  My best friend.  I have a lot of best friends.  Mandy is my best friend.  Griffin is my best friend.  Sara is my best friend.  They are all my best friends, and I love them all to death.

The pain, it is endless.  My feet, they pain me, every single day.  They hurt, and the pain never stops.  It feels so many days like death would be the better option.  I can’t walk.  They won’t say it, but they don’t know what to do if I fall.  I am too “big,” they say.  Read: fat.  Not anymore!  Man I have lost weight here.  I don’t even look the same.  A month in a coma, does wonders.

I have been thinking.  Pastor Duane from Good Shepard came in here.  I heard him pray and all that, but honestly, I didn’t feel it.  I felt nothing.  He might as well have been talking to a wall.  It was like he wanted me to feel something that just wasn’t there.  I like the guy, sure, but I just don’t buy into this whole thing that God wanted this to happen to me.  That he wants the pain to keep going, and for nothing to help ease it.  I have been pondering how silly the Bible is for years.  Read it once, cover to cover.

BORING!  The most boring book ever.  Give me a chance, I’ll make it a hell of a lot better!

Well, I guess that’s all.  I hate this bed.  I hate this hospital bed.  I want out, but all I can do is just sit here, and wish for the days to end, and try and get stronger.  I hate this place.  I hate it so damn much.

That field.  That field is where I’ll go.  That field, if there is an afterlife, that is where I want to go.  I want to go there with all my friends.  We could run and play and eat the apples that grow in that giant tree.  I know they’d be happy!  We all would be.  Dammit, I’m starting to cry.

Bye

Peace out,

Maverick

More Christian Bigotry from North Carolina

Well, I feel that I haven’t gotten on the Christian community in a while, and that isn’t good, because they are showing more and more that they are filled with bigots who want to massively affect public policy and yet keep their tax-exempt status.  It confounds me how atheists will defend church keeping their tax exemptions when we all can see that the idea behind it – that they would be kept from affecting government is a farce.  The church has a stranglehold on politics in this country and it needs to stop!  Religion is the worst thing that has happened to this country, and the proof is all around us.  As proof, here is a lovely tidbit from North Carolina.  This pastor, Charles L. Worley from the Providence Road Baptist Church, has his own views on what to do about gayness in America.  Here is a link, now let’s bring this bigoted bitch down to size.

…of our President, who gettin’ up and sayin’ (This is not done for effect.  This man can’t say “ing” for the life of him) that it was alright for two women to marry, or two men to marry.  I’ll tell ya right now I was disappointed bad, but I’ll tell ya right there that that’s as sorry as you can get.

Oh god, could your grammar be any worse?!  You, bigoted pastor, cannot speak!  Why can’t the Americans teach their children how to speak?!  As proof of this contention, here is what he says directly next –

The Bible’s agin it!  God’s agin it!  I’m agin it!  And if you’ve got any sense, you’re agin it!

It’s…unreal.  This man has the ability to speak that a 2nd grader does.  But let’s continue.  I just wanted to point out that he can’t speak so you all can ridicule him later.

I had a way, I figured a way out, a way to get rid of all the lesbians and queers.  But it couldn’t get it past the Congress.

I am all ears, Preach.  What is this plan that you, or it, couldn’t get past the Congress.

Build a great big large fence, 100, 50, 150 mile long.  Put all the lesbians in there.

Well, I didn’t expect anything smart, so I have no response for this guy.

Fly over and drop some food.

At least this bigot has some humanity.  That’s a start.

Do the same thing with the queers and the homosexuals.

By modern terminology those are the same thing, but you are obviously too stupid to get that, so we’ll just keep going.

And have that fence electrified ’til they can’t get out.  Feed’em and, and you know what in a few years they’ll die out.

Ah, here we go.  You gotta admire these kinds of preachers.  They won’t just come right out and say that we should kill these people, merely put them into an enclosed space and wait for them to die.  I could have swore that Nazi Germany had a similar strategy with a social group that they didn’t like.

You know why they can’t reproduce?

This should be rich.

If a man ever has a young’in, praise God it’ll be the first.

I’d put a facepalm symbol there, but honestly, that just wouldn’t say where I stand on this.  This is the stupidest thing ever uttered in the history of the human race.  No joke, it doesn’t get any stupider than this.

All of these, youn-se-swell, I’m gonna preach the hell out of all of ’em!  Hey, I tell ya right now, somebody said ‘who ya gonna vote for?’  I ain’t gonna vote for a baby-killer and a HOMOSEXUAL LOVER!

I swear, that isn’t me embelishing.  He really raised his voice there, like he wanted everyone to know how serious he is.  And I believe it.  This man is such a bigot that I am very sure that he believes it.

You said, “did you mean to say that?”  YOU BETTER BELIEVE I DID!

See?

God have mercy!  It makes me puking sick.  To think about I don’t know whethere ya’ll ‘d say this at the pulpit or not.  Could you imagine kissing some man?

Well, that’s all that this bigot had to say.  I’m sure that some of his rabid dog followers will come on here and say that he isn’t a bigot.  Be glad that you are bigots people.  You seem to be.  You are textbook definition bigots, so why don’t you want to be called on it?

The pastor wants his idea to be put into law.  People like the the DC Catholic Coalition are trying to get a lawsuit going against the new Health Care Reform law because it demands that private insurance gives coverage for contraception.  Not churches, but private insurance companies.  First off, Catholics, get over yourselves.  Until you can keep your priests from raping little boys and girls, I think you should just shut the fuck up.   You are committing crimes against humanity every single day by telling women that contraception is evil, abortion isn’t an option, and to have as many kids as possible.  You do more damage to the human race in one day than all the other groups in play combined.

Then there is a governor in Iowa who nominated a Catholic Priest to serve on the Board of Medicine.  Really?!  These people are living with a belief system of the Dark Ages, and you want this anti-abortion idiot to be helping make decisions about how to allocate resources to things like abortion and contraception services?!  Fuck everything to do with that!

Here’s the real truth, religious people, and you need to figure this out right quick – your faith as NO place in government.  It never has, and it never will.  You have a stranglehold on government, and it pisses me off that your oppulent palaces (that Jesus would have beaten the shit out of you for having) are paying nothing for your robbing of our government.

America is NOT a Christian nation.  Get over it, and move on.

“A thought just occurred to me, if its wrong to be gay, then shouldn’t it also be wrong to be a single straight person since I am not reproducing? Just a thought…”  -Tallacus, YouTube

Peace out,

Maverick

Top 10 Characters From my Childhood

You remember when you were a little kid, and you used to watch TV shows?  Remember when these shows were good?  Remember when there used to be stuff that was actually smart on TV?  Thankfully, it is seeing a resurgence, but the fact is that smart is not something that appears in overwhelming amounts anymore on TV, especially where kid’s shows are concerned.  Now, I was thinking about doing a post on the top 10 nostalgic kid’s shows that I grew up with, but rather than do that, I thought about taking the characters who really made an impact with me.  The ones who I remembered, even to this day.  The ones who really got me to thinking about stuff.  With that in mind, I give you my list of the characters from the shows that I watched, who have still stuck with me in a lot of ways, even today.

10. Tom Paris
Star Trek Voyager
If you are a hater of this show, piss off.  I happened to like it.  While there were elements that didn’t hit so well, like that stupid-ass outfit they stuck Seven of Nine in (seriously, did you see the episode where she is in uniform?  She was much more attractive in that!), they did a lot right, and it is a credit to the Star Trek franchise.  And by far my favorite character who me and the parents who sit down to watch was Tom Paris.  Paris was the helmsman, the pilot.  He was skilled at what he did and competant in many areas.  This guy had it all going on.  He was cool, he was fun.  He was a smart-ass, he was a rebel.  He would disobey and fight for what is right, even when it got him in a lot of trouble.  This was the character for the young guy’s crowd, and he was well-portrayed.  He wasn’t like Robin from Batman: The Animated Series, doing stupid stuff that incompetant writers feel can connect with younger people.  He was just himself, and it was fun to see.  I really liked this show, and he was a big reason why.

9. Evil Tommy/Green Ranger
Power Rangers
To anybody who was a kid in the early 90’s, you watched Power Rangers.  Don’t deny it!  Just accept that you watched this show, and that this was by far the coolest character.  I have always loved a villain more than a hero.  And when he was a villain, man was this guy cool!  He kicked so much ass!  He had the moves, he had the look.  Even his Megazord was a badass dragon!  He would kick your ass in and out of costume, and he was the thing that made the show.  Sure, when he became good, he was still cool, but let’s fact it, watching him beat the shit out of all the other Power Rangers was lots of fun, and when we got older, we could have fun imagining him and an evil Kimberly having crazy and kinky romps together! (She would turn evil for him.  He is that awesome) He was a really cool addition to a really silly show that we all watched and enjoyed.

8. Ms. Frizzle
The Magic School Bus
I don’t think that there is a kid who grew up in my generation who doesn’t know this bat-shit crazy broad and her utterly absurd and often dangerous adventures that she took her students on with a magic bus.  She was funny, weird, and enjoyably over the top.  You liked how much fun she was having, and how much she enjoyed her position in life.  You learned a lot watching her show, and since the lessons were fun, you wanted to get more of them.  The animation was interesting, and all of the characters in that show were unique.  Ms. Frizzle was most definitely a staple of my childhood because she made the idea of learning about the world exciting.  Ever since she has disappeared, PBS has seemingly lost the ability to make such likeable characters, every time I was baby-sitting and tuned in.  For real, she was a lot of fun, and I, as an adult, still think it’s a good show.

7. Wufei Chang
Gundam Wing
This was the first anime that I had ever seen, and I was immediately drawn to Wufei.  He is a Gundam pilot who fights for honor, for his own sense of integrity.  True, he is fighting a battle for vengeance, but the fact is that he is fighting for what he believes is right.  A lot of people think that Wufei is sexist and hates women.  Not true.  He hates weak women.  When he met Sally Po and saw that she would keep fighting her guerilla war, knowing that all the odds were stacked against her, he showed a lot of genuine respect.  He hates women who are led by their emotions, women who let their kindness get the better of them, especially in military situations.  But he is an amazing warrior, and a hell of a pilot.  For it being the first anime I saw, I was introduced to the genre with an amazing show.  Gundam Wing challenged a lot of themes like the innocence of youth, the value of war, and what true peace really means.  It is a lot of fun.

6. Freakazoid
Freakazoid (Duh)
I think a lot of how I talk and my general approach to things that are legitimately serious came from this character.  This show still gives me big laughs, even now.  Partly produced by Steven Spielberg, this show was a parody of all superhero shows, and I love it.  Freakazoid is by far the strangest character ever to greet children’s shows.  He doesn’t take what he is doing seriously at all, and makes a big joke about it.  This guy really is a little bit nuts, and his villains are all totally not the stereotypes that we all assume we will see.  It’s kind of a bummer that the show only lasted two seasons.  I would loved to have seen how far they could go with this character.  But yeah, my way of saying things in strange ways and not taking a serious approach to the big stuff mostly came from old episodes of Freakazoid.  A great show, if you are ever in the market.

5. Sonic the Hedgehog
The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
It’s so ironic that I love the Nostalgia Critic’s videos.  He did a review of this show, talking about how bad it was, and how bat-shit crazy it is.  I remember being really young and looking forward to seeing this show.  I don’t know what it was, but I just loved watching it.  Maybe it is because I am a little bat-shit crazy myself.  I kind of dug the absolute insanity and the total lack of focus that this show had.  And I am also a die-hard Sonic the Hedgehog fan.  Still, I think what I liked about this character was how weird he was.  Normal bores me.  It bores the living shit out of me.  The more crazy and bizarre something is, the more that I generally tend to enjoy it.  Call me crazy, but the thing that I like about this show is that reality and comprehension have nothing to do with it.  It’s just nuts.

4. Garfield
Garfield and Friends
The late Lorenzo Music supplied his voice to a character who I have been a fan of for years.  I love the old comics, and this show was just fun.  Music’s voice will always be what I associate with this character.  He’s fat, he’s mean, he’s a complete jerk, yet for the same reason that we all love Dr. House, we love him because Garfield reflects a part of ourselves.  He reflects that part that does what it wants to be evil, and do horrible things.  The part of ourselves that is selfish, and feeds only our interests.  Garfield is the perfect example of how fun that can be, even if we never take part in it.  And I love him for it.  This was another of the shows that I just love because of how much I was able to bond with it.  And the title character was every reason why.  Lorenzo, rest in peace.  You won’t be remembered by everyone, but you will most certainly be remembered by me.

3. The Joker
Batman: The Animated Series
I love this show so much.  Not only was it grown-up and kid friendly, but the characters were amazing.  Mark Hamill’s Joker will always be the real Joker to me.  The laugh, the personality.  Everything about this character is exactly what I imagined.  He was disturbing, scary, and genuinely terrifying at moments.  It was the perfect portrayal, and even though I know that Hamill will probably just be remembered as Luke Skywalker, this is the role that he did greatest, for me.  I just love how electric this character is.  As much as you hate and are afraid of him, it’s almost impossible not to like him just a little bit.  My favorites episodes with him in it are in Superman: The Animated Series.  I just love how it doesn’t matter who he is bleeding or killing, it’s all the same to him.  This character is not only my favorite villain in this show, he is my favorite villain, period.  What a great performance.

2. The Brain
Pinky and the Brain
It is completely impossible not to like this character.  He is a great pun on evil geniuses.  This character is just pure fun.  He is a little lab mouse who was experimented on and now possesses massive amounts of genius.  His mission is simple – to try and take over the world (of course!)!  This guy and his accomplice/wife Pinky just play off one-another.  If you are asking why I call Pinky his wife, just watch the show.  These two are so much like an old married couple it’s scary.  They argue, they fight, they have moments.  They even show to genuinely have compassion for one-another, even if it almost always is coming from Pinky.  When I was a kid, this is who I wanted to be.  I wanted to be the Brain.  I wanted to take over the world.  Part of me still does.  Of course, his crazy schemes not withstanding, I just loved this character and how fun he was to watch.  He was so sure that his absolutely nuts ideas would work, and I think that’s just awesome.

And the #1 character that I looked up to as a kid is…

1. TJ Detweiler
Recess
I swear, I could do a character analysis about this guy.  I may just do that one of these days.  More than any other on this list, this is the character that I took the most away from.  TJ is so unique in so many ways as a kid’s show character, especially looking at the shows that are on now.  For one thing, he openly mocks authority.  He will disregard any authority figure that he doesn’t have respect for.  While many of the teachers and administrators at Third Street think that he hates them, he has shown that he pulls pranks on them because it is in his nature.  He is also not some lean and super-attractive kid.  TJ is most surely the everyman.  He is a bit chubby, but nobody makes a point of that because of his outgoing and likeable personality.  He is honest and has a very strong sense of justice, along with right and wrong.  He will protect the common kid, trying to help those that he sees as the down-trodden.  He is loyal to his friends and will fight for them.  But the part I took away most was the absolute lack of respect for authority unless they proved to be worth respecting.  You would NEVER see such a character in a kid’s show these days, and that bugs the shit out of me.  But yeah, more than any other, TJ is the character on this list who I try and emulate the most, even to this day.

Until next time, a quote,

“I don’t have a best friend.  I have five!”  -TJ Detweiler

Peace out,

Maverick