About Lucien

I am a writer. I am a dreamer. Humanity may be its own worst enemy, but I believe in something better. Maybe I am naive. Maybe I am delusional. Maybe Carlin was right, and we are just playing out the string. But I believe that something greater is still within our grasp. And it is for that that I am working to make this world a better place, even if all I will ever be able to do is spit in the wind.

Bad PR 111: Anita Sarkeesian, Sargon of Akkad, and “Garbage Humans”

As anyone will tell you in the world of entertainment, all it takes to ruin a spotless image is one bad comment.  Ask Michael Richards or Gilbert Gottfried what that’s like.  Do I think that’s fair?  Not at all.  In Richards case, his biggest issue was that he could never let it go.  People would have forgiven him if he could have stopped bringing it up all the time.  He let his bad choice of words ruin his career forever.  Gottfried took the smarter approach – lay low and just let the buzz blow over.  Now he’s alright.  But some people who do something stupid have a bad habit of just digging themselves a REALLY deep hole.

Let’s look at Hillary Clinton and Kathy Griffin.  Both of these people are women who decided to be very stupid with their language, and rather than shut up and lay low for the worst to blow over, they just kept piling on and on.  In Kathy Griffin’s case, she hired a lawyer to be a mouthpiece for her butthurt instead of just taking the licks like an adult and walking away from what happened.  Hillary Clinton is arguably worse.  After blaming literally everyone for her failure except taking even the slightest smidgen of personal responsibility (she learned it from SJWs), she then blamed the DNC.  You know, the people who rigged the primary for her and openly said they have no compunction about doing it again.  Women that the left cheers for have a bad habit of not knowing when the shut up and let the damage blow over.

Which brings us to Anita Sarkeesian.  At VidCon yesterday, there was a panel where Anita Sarkeesian was speaking.  A ton of the anti-SJW crowd went and sat front and center, wanting to actually get to see her human side.  To be clear, they weren’t heckling her, they weren’t taunting and jeering at her.  By all accounts, they were respectful as could be there.  One of these people was Sargon of Akkad.  When Anita eyeballed him, she decided to put her own foot in her mouth.

This may just be the most unprofessional thing she’s ever done.  Which is genuinely surprising, to me.  It’s pretty clear that Anita is calculating.  Everything she does is part of maintaining a narrative of her victimhood and how she needs everyone to come to her defense.  I’ve long maintained that she is a con artist, and that hasn’t changed.  My first thought when I see stuff like this is – we’ve finally seen a human moment with Anita Sarkeesian.  People went to that panel in the hopes of seeing her be human, and that’s what they got.  For a brief moment, the human side of one of the most profitable online con artists came out.

But here is where my PR education comes into play.  What happens next?  What will Anita do?  I honestly don’t know.  Already the fans of hers have gone after Sargon and he has publicly called for the people hosting the Con to ban her from the cyberbullying panel that she will be a part of.  There’s no way she will be banned.  Of course not.  If Hank and John Green actually did that then they have would have the SJW tirade so far up their ass that it would never stop.  Anita and her cohorts have already shown that they can orchestrate a harassment campaign at a moment’s notice.  Like how Zoe Quinn went after Candace Owens using her friends and sock accounts.

So the question becomes – what will you do next, Anita?  You’re going to be back on stage, and Sargon has already said he will be there.  In fact, you can guarantee that the rest of the anti-SJW chums will be there.  I’m sure they’ll be respectful, as was the case yesterday.  Will you lose your cool again?  Will you use this as another opportunity to smear?  What will you do?

I am genuinely curious to see what happens next.  Because there are a couple of options here.  First, the smart option – play it down and just stick to the message.  Or even better – skip the panel and quietly walk away from this.  Let the Internet firestorm die down while your white knights do the fighting for you.  It’s what she’s done before.  The second option is the double-down option.  Where she goes on that stage and then says that she is totally blameless and it is everyone else’s fault.  Then it becomes a savage war of online videos where the white knights and the detractors blitz and the Internet loses its collective shit.

The thing is, Anita, this doesn’t make you look good.  There are a TON of videos where people show video footage from the event where you are spouting at someone who didn’t do anything to you.  He wasn’t heckling you.  The audience wasn’t attacking you.  You hijacked the panel and used it as a platform to attack Sargon as soon as you saw him in the audience.  From a PR standpoint this makes you look like a vindictive cunt.  You had to make a panel about being a woman online and promoting female content creators about you and how mad you are.  It was a genuine human moment, in all the wrong ways.

I just don’t get why someone who has been so careful about the narrative and the usage of a platform only when she approves to do something like this.  Some people have said this was a calculated move, and I don’t think so.  There’s no good angle here.  It’s too easy to show that Sargon wasn’t doing anything to her, and that the panel wasn’t being harassed. Naturally, her white knights will paint is as just that.  They’ll say the panel was being so horribly abused by all those EVIL anti-SJW YouTubers.  But there is video evidence that that wasn’t happening.  Only after Anita started running her mouth did the crowd get rowdy.  That’s understandable.  So this wasn’t calculated.

Perhaps all of the stress is really getting to her.  That’s natural.  See, when the SJWs go out into the real world, where their viewpoints can be challenged, they crack pretty fast.  Anytime they are at a platform where the narrative isn’t tightly controlled, they lose their ability to keep the focus only where they want it to be.  It’s why watching a debate between Brianna Wu and her opponent in the congressional election she is now a part of would be funny as fuck.  For Sarkeesian, being in an environment where she can take criticism and actually have to answer legitimate questions probably scares the shit out of her.  Sargon even said later on he just wanted to talk to her, which she blew off.  But I bet the thought of having to answer real questions from people who won’t accept pithy answers is the most frightening thing in the world.

Maybe that’s where the calculus of this comes from.  Instead of having to answer questions, she creates a firestorm so she can just not have to.  I bet that’s what will happen at the cyberbullying panel, because it’s a virtual guarantee that the audience will have legit questions for her there too.

The PR lesson is this – this was a bad move.  A very, very bad move.  Whether this was her human side coming out, or desperation coming into play, Anita has done real damage to her image.  This isn’t going to go away.  Just like the video where she says that she isn’t a gamer and doesn’t like video games, now this video will haunt her where she called a detractor sitting politely in the audience a shit-head and a “garbage human.”  Will she recover?  That is what honestly interests me.  Because I have seen Anita’s abilities as a con artist to be kind of inspiring.  I can’t wait to see what she does next.

Until next time, a quote,

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” – Robert Frost

Peace out,

Maverick

Lucien’s First Take: Black Panther Teaser Trailer

When I did my review of Captain America: Civil War, I said that I honestly didn’t really know where they could go with a Black Panther film.  He is my second-favorite character in the film, due entirely on the incredible performance of the actor.  That man sells that role.  Marvel’s films have done some damn good casting lately.  Robert Downy Jr as Tony Stark, Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange, the kid as the new Spider-Man, and now Chadwick Boseman as Black Panther.  Perfect casting.  But my perspective in my review still stands.  He’s the Black Panther, and a ruler of a powerful nation that is hidden away.  Where can they possibly go with that?  It’s a little late to get to it, but the teaser was released.  Let’s see.

We start off getting to hear Martin Freeman’s terrible American accent.  No joke, they should have just gotten Hugh Laurie to do the role.  He probably would have been more fun too.  Then we have Andy Serkis coming back from his role in Avengers: The Waste of James Spader’s Talent.  He’s saying that Wakanda isn’t nearly the backwater tribal society that people think.  Okay, liking it.  Some legit nice backdrops.  There is a cool juxtaposition between this waterfall scenery the Panther is at with the tech airplane he is leaving on.  Is the idea of the ancient and the modern clashing gonna come into play?  That could be cool.

The montage that follows seems to paint the film more as a story about Wakanda itself than the titular character.  I kinda like that.  I can’t honestly think of a Marvel film that has done that so far.  Making a movie about a nation and the struggles of being in the modern world is a neat angle that I can see either being done very well or fucked up so horribly bad.

Which is kind of my thought overall of this teaser.  I’m definitely not gonna watch any more trailers for the film.  I genuinely want to be surprised when I see it.  Modern trailers have a bad habit of ruining the entire plot of a film.  I think that’s what’s happened with Spider-Man: Homecoming.  I wouldn’t know.  After I saw how trailer 2 was spoiling the film I stopped it.  Black Panther is either going to be a very interesting dive into a nation and the people in it, or a preachy film about how evil western culture is.  Please don’t let it be that.  Please don’t let this be SJW jerk-fuel.  Marvel has thus far been pretty good about pandering to the forced-diversity crowd.  They want their works to appeal to a mass audience.

But this is new territory.  A piece about a nation and its ruler being unsure where they fit in in the changing world is a tough thing to get right.  I’m going to give this film a chance, though.  Here’s hoping it doesn’t disappoint.

Initial Verdict
7 out of 10

Peace out,

Maverick

Top 10 Fictional Dads

With Father’s Day tomorrow, I thought that I would do a tribute to the fictional dads that I really liked.  Whether they are the biological fathers, or father figures, they are loyal parents and often go to incredible lengths to protect their children.  Sometimes they are diligent, doting parents, other times they are aloof but prove their loyalty in other ways.  I’m not limiting this to any one genre of fiction, because my favorite fictional parents come from all sorts.  Let me know the fictional parents who you admired most in the comments.

10. Sojiro Sakura
Persona 5
When you first meet Sojiro, he’s a stern and almost cold character.  He doesn’t like you and makes no secret of the fact that he sees having to watch over you as a burden.  However, as the plot unfolds you realize that there is a caring man, who has a secret.  He has been caring for the daughter of a dear friend who passed away a long time ago.  The girl is a shut-in and he desperately has been trying to be a good dad while also respecting her very strict boundaries.  But once she is able to come out from that shell, their bond becomes just that much more apparent, since he can finally be a doting father figure to a child who has had a very hard life.  Stern, yet compassionate.  A Japanese father to a fault.

9. Peter (last name unknown)
Animorphs
The father of one of the main characters, Marco, he is one of the most interesting literary parents.  His wife died a long time ago, and he has been looking to move forward with his life ever since.  This has caused more than a little strain between him and his son.  What I like most about the character is the fact that they show him to be human.  Very much so.  He’s lonely, and wants to be able to move forward from losing his wife.  Now, granted there is more to what’s going on with his wife, which makes Marco even more unhappy about how his father is trying to move on, but Peter doesn’t know that and so his son is trying not to hold it against him.  When you finally see the two of them bonding, it feels genuine.  Not the most dynamic character, but a human one all the same.

8. Lieutenant Colonel Griswald
Recess
A military man through and through, and father to Gus Griswald, the Lieutenant is probably the most stern character on this list.  He talks to his son as if he is one of the men under his command, and does have high expectations of him.  However, there are numerous times in the episode where you see him genuinely care for him and even go out of his way to help him in whatever way he can.  The fact that his son wants to follow in his footsteps as a soldier constantly makes him proud, along with the fact that he is loyal to his friends.  Again, not the most dynamic character but having known a few Army brats growing up, this makes me think of them.  One of them had a really shitty dad, but another had one who reminded me of the Lt. Colonel.

7. Hank Hill
King of the Hill
Hank is the quintessential typical American dad.  He’s conservative as all get-out, has no understanding of his son or the world he lives in, and constantly sees the youth culture as strange and disconcerting.  But despite all that, he is still a strong family man.  Not only does he constantly try to be a good husband, but he tries to be a good father too.  There are a lot of moments where he looks after Bobby despite not understanding the first thing about him and the world he lives in.  At the end of the day, him and the family can bicker and argue, but they’ll still have a grilled steak, so long as the grill uses propane.

6. Jack Foreman
Prey
A stay-at-home father who is trying to get used to the dynamic he is living in, all while battling his sense of uselessness and his growing sense of ownership over the home and the relationship with the children as his wife is growing more and more distant.  Jack is a fantastic father.  Not only does he make sure the house runs smoothly, he goes out of his way to try and be understanding of his wife’s situation with her increasingly demanding job.  However, when he gets involved in his former employer’s situation in the desert, and things are looking their worst, the first thought he has is to protect the children that he left behind.  The book ends with him taking radical steps in order to protect them, but he’ll do whatever it takes.  So loyal that he fights against forces so radically overpowering in order to keep what he has waiting for him safe.  Naturally he’s from my favorite book.

5. Bryan Mills
Taken (the first one, not the shitty sequels)
This character is probably the most loyal father ever.  A former CIA badass who ends up retiring so he can try and reconnect with his daughter.  However, when she is kidnapped by Algerian sex-slavers, he will stop at nothing to secure her freedom.  He’ll attack cops, shoot the wife of a former ally, even torture a man by electrocuting him until the power shuts off just to make a point.  Bryan is a no-nonsense, do not fuck with me dad, and has years of “specific set of skills” to prove it.

4. Victor Sullivan
Uncharted (series)
Sully has no children of his own.  However, as you learn in Uncharted 3, one day he happened upon a little punk in Spain who he took under his wing.  That punk just happened to be Nathan Drake.  What came from that was a relationship of two career criminals who just happened to rob the artifacts of ancient empires in order to sell them and live the good life.  Sully is crass, suave, a complete man-whore with all the talent to be cool as fuck while doing it.  He also has no problem using a gun. The scene where he tells Nate that he always saw him as the son he never had was pretty touching.  No matter how he may not have been the best father figure, he is Sully, and that’s all he’ll ever need.

3. Ethan Mars
Heavy Rain
Bryan Mills would kick whoever’s ass to keep his daughter safe, but Ethan Mars is a bit on the different spectrum.  After a moment of losing track of his first son led to him being tragically killed in a car wreck, Ethan and his wife are separated and he is a little overly protective of his younger child.  So when the Origami Killer steals him, Ethan is now in a position where he will do whatever it takes in order to keep him safe.  Even if that means complying with the increasingly-twisted demands of the killer, like to cut off one of his own fingers.  It’s horrifying, but when you see him weather it in order to get his child back, it makes you want to fight even harder to make sure it happens.

2. Maes Hughes
Fullmetal Alchemist
Probably the most doting father on this list, Hughes attachment to his little girl is more than a little insane.  And he makes sure that every single person around him is forced to suffer through it at all hours.  However, underneath that there is an incredibly intelligent investigator who is not only looking to keep his family safe, but also his best friend Roy Mustang.  When he happens upon a truth so horrible that it threatens to destroy everything, he rushes out without hesitation to confirm it.  But in the end, that determination to dig up the truth is what gets the better of him.  The enemy becomes the one thing that he can’t raise a weapon to – his wife.  A good man, a loving father, and a tragic end.  He is pretty awesome like that.

And my favorite fictional dad is…

1. Joel
The Last of Us
While the relationship he had with his daughter Sara is a profoundly beautiful and tragic relationship, we don’t get much chance to know them.  It’s his relationship with his companion Ellie, who becomes his surrogate daughter, that is the one I want to talk about.  Joel is a survivor.  After Sara is tragically killed, he has 20 years for his heart to harden to ice.  But when this teenage girl comes into his life, and goes out of her way to try and bond with him and reach him on a personal level, he finds that ice melting away.  Eventually, he grows to see her as his own child, and will stop at nothing to keep her safe.  To the point that when he finds out the only way to get Ellie’s immunity into a form where it can be made a vaccine would kill her, he sells the ENTIRE human race up the river to save her life.  A cold, calculating, kind of monstrous person, Joel finds his humanity again in that little girl.  When you hear him telling her unconscious body the things he said to Sara and he ran with he, it makes the situation that much harder.

Who are all of your favorite fictional fathers?  And to all the dads out there, Happy Father’s Day

Until next time, a quote,

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that bullshit.” – Joel

Peace out,

Maverick

RAB: Anita Sarkeesian’s Hitman Argument is Stupid

I’m bored on a Friday night and tired of doing nothing with me life.  So here I am, on my website, drinking pina colada and doing nothing with my life.  As I drank this wonderful concoction, a thought came to me – Anita Sarkeesian’s argument about Hitman is stupid.  Like, really stupid.  Her Damsels in Distress video has a scene from Hitman: Absolution where you can go into the room with the strippers and kill them and drag them around the floor.  Her argument was that the player sees the bodies as something to just use and throw away and how that’s a reflection on men in general.  Let’s not even get into the how the game penalizes you for attacking civilians.  Anita says that argument doesn’t work because the game should have a fail state if you do that.  Well, that is dumb.  After all, if the game failed you because you killed a target who isn’t the one you are after then it would never work.  There are plenty of times you’re going to have to whack the bad guys.  Besides, these arguments have been taken on by everyone.  I had a new thought.

Let’s ignore Hitman: Absolution.  That game was terrible.  It totally betrayed everything that made the series good.  Let’s instead look at the new game.  You know, the one that was such a financial disappointment to Square Enix that they are selling the company who made it.  Yeah, the second season is never happening.  In the new game, who is Agent 47?  He’s no one.  He’s a weapon, in every sense of the word.  He will not act unless he gets explicit permission.  From whom?  Well, that would be his handler – Diana.  At no point will he act unless she gives him permission to do so.  Everything he does is directly at her request.  In essence, in their dynamic she has all the power.  All of it.  47 has no agency is his own story.  When she tells him that there is a potential threat, he even says that it is her issue to deal with, he’s just waiting for a target.

For a game all about the “male power fantasy,” it sure is interesting that a woman has every single ounce of the power in the relationship, isn’t it?  I kind of like that.  It’s what made Absolution so frustrating.  47 isn’t meant to have any power over his own fate.  His entire life he was trained to be a weapon to be used by others.  It’s all he knows.  If feminists knew the first thing about nuance, they might think about things like that.

Honestly don’t have anywhere else I was going with that.  I just find it interesting that the character Anita believes is guilty of treating women like objects doesn’t acknowledge that aside from terrible games, he is just a tool to be used by an agency and a woman who has the deadliest assassin in the world at her tool for getting things done.

Until next time, a quote,

“Someone’s playing a game, 47.  The question is – against whom?” – Diana, Hitman

Peace out,

Maverick

Zoe Quinn Harasses ‘The Last Night’ Director For Supporting #GamerGate

Oh look, it’s everyone’s favorite professional victim who is back to wear her victimhood like a badge of honor even though the Internet forgot about her years ago.  And since she can’t just sit back and let herself fall into obscurity like the vulture that she is, when the director of a new game that looks pretty cool came out and she found out through her information network that he had said positive things about the now-defunct culture war #GamerGate, she had to get her little army of minions to go out and attack him.  I am, of course, talking about the director or The Last Night.

See, the director of that game actually believes that ethical standards in games journalism is something worth fighting for, and that the world of Indie games is a toxic circlejerk of multi-colored hair warriors who have to suck each other off so hard.  And since Zoe Quinn hasn’t been in the public eye in so long, just like Brianna Wu she had to get the old victim train going.  Also just like Brianna Wu, Zoe is a cunt-rag who tries to play off what at terrible person she is as everyone just being mean to her.

Let’s take a look at the narrative she paints for herself.  According to her, she was the tragic victim of a horrible man who chose to slut-shame her and paint the scarlet letter on her in the public square.  And ever since she has been the victim of virtually non-stop abuse by all the evil people of the Internet.  That’s the narrative that she paints.  The same one that her and her more-successful professional victim comrade Anita Sarkeesian painted in front of the UN while they argued that the Internet should have everyone who disagrees with them removed.  Not that Zoe would know what it’s like for people to disagree with her.  Her echo chamber is so massive that she lives in it.  Every time that she has even slightly ventured out of it the weight of her lies almost destroyed her.

What is the truth?  Simple – her ex-boyfriend Eron wrote a hugely-long post where he laid out how betrayed he felt by her.  Among the endless reasons why was the fact that she had been cheating on him, with five people.  Mundane’s Matt and Internet Aristocrat’s video of what happened led her to being the catalyst to the online culture war known as #GamerGate.  And very quickly Zoe became forgotten amongst the far more interesting topics at hand.  Topics like the fact that several of the people who she had cheated on Eron with were people who had covered in the games media before.  In fact Nathan Grayson became a far more interesting topic than she ever was.  All she did was create a boring video game about living with depression.  A choose-your-adventure game about depression.  Yeah, sounds like a recipe for great “gameplay.”

After the storm that was GamerGate died down, Zoe found herself in the media in other ways.  Like how she was busted red-handed leading a online blitzkrieg of attacks against Candace Owens.  There had been a blog post where she laid out what had happened, and how she was able to put together that Zoe was directly responsible for the attacks against her.  A really scum-fuck thing to do.  As I said, she went to the UN, where she desperately tried to sell that the Internet still sent daily hate to her, even though it is easily-provable that the Internet moved on from her not long after the hashtag #GamerGate was founded by Adam Baldwin.  Given how she was able to generate an attack against Candace Owens through mysterious anonymous sources, it’s not hard to think that probably most of the hate she has ever received was from the same sock-puppet accounts.

Oh, and let’s not forget the leaked chat logs from Crash Override Network, Zoe’s little circlejerk of victimhood that showed that she had actively sabotaged the Rebel Game Jam she had been a part of in order to cash in on the social justice points and make herself look good while the rest of them look bad.  I still believe the person who sponsored that event should sue her.  Or how she doxxed and ruined the Fine Young Capitalist’s fundraising event to help promote women in gaming, which she didn’t like because they weren’t promoting her.  And just like all feminists with a sense of entitlement up her non-existent ass, she had to make them pay for not making everything in that project about her.  But again, she’s a victim.  Not a scum-fuck.

Now she has turned her refusal to let her 15 minutes of shame die into an attack against someone who hasn’t done thing one against her other than support an online movement.  That’s it.  That’s all he did.  Then Notch had to go and take the Internet’s ire by calling her a cunt.  Which, you know, she is.  Indefensibly so.  Zoe Quinn is a cunt with a capital C.  She is a horrible person who wanted to make a game that was neatly stealing the show at E3 about her.  Because why shouldn’t a big game reveal be about her?  And of course the parasites at Feminist Frequency have come out in support of her.  Why not.

Zoe, you are a cunt.  You are a terrible person.  I don’t lightly use that term, but it describes you perfectly.  What’s more, you actually believed you are owed something for the fact that people see you for what you are after all of the debacle that you were barely a part of.  You believe that you are owed.  That just blows my fucking mind.  Zoe Quinn feels that the Internet owes HER for the shit she has pulled.  No, Zoe!  You owe people an apology.  People like Eron, who had those of us who supported GamerGate donate to his defense fund, which when you realized that the trial didn’t make you look good you dropped.  People like Candace Owens, who busted you dead to rights for a campaign of doxing and harassment through sock puppet accounts.  There are so many people who you owe.  But you won’t.  After all, admitting wrongdoing just fucks with the narrative.  Can’t have that.  Then you might start self-reflection and that might just lead you to realize what a fucking piece of shit you are.

Until next time, a quote,

“Mr Worf, villains who twirl their mustaches are easy to spot.  Those who clothe themselves in good deeds are well-camouflaged.” – Capt. Picard

Peace out,

Maverick

Lucien’s First Take: Life is Strange: Before the Storm Premier Trailer

I’ve made no secret that the original game is my favorite game of 2015.  Aside from the ending, which is stupid on so many levels that it forced me to do a rewrite which is on this site if you want to look for it, I loved it.  The game is truly phenomenal.  And just like Mass Effect 3, I don’t let the fact that the ending is pants-on-head retarded stop me from loving the rest of the franchise.  However, when I heard there was a sequel episodic series coming out, I was more than a little worried.  I mean, where are they going to go with the franchise?  I had games where I both saved and let Chloe die, so are they going to pick up with Max back in Seattle?  Where could this go?  Are we FINALLY going to get an answer to what Max’s power is and how it works?  That’s the biggest question I have after the series so that could be a little interesting.

But today Microsoft decided to unveil the latest season at their press conference.  And…I don’t know what to think.  Let’s take a look at the trailer and then talk about it.

Okay, so we have Chloe, who is one of my favorite female characters of all time, voiced by an amazing voice actress who I also loved in Horizon: Zero Dawn.  She’s in her room, smoking.  I can see the art style is the same, but it does look a lot more detailed.  The facial animations in-particular, which was my biggest gripe with this style.

She’s sitting there, smoking, and we see a raven land on her windowsill.  The previous game had a thing about the blue butterfly that Max took a pic with.  Is that the way it is with the raven?  In all mediums the raven has symbolized death.  A theory just came to me, but I want to keep going before we talk about it.

There’s a montage of things happening, and one of the things that gets my attention is her being in a car with her father when he is hit by a train.  Is that a dream sequence?  If it’s not, then it makes my theory have suddenly a lot more credibility.  There are things like a tree burning, and Chloe climbing the steps of Blackwell Academy with a sign about good luck seniors.  More Chloe being angsty and shit, but always alone.  That interests me.  The previous game made it seem like her and Rachel Amber were nigh-inseparable.

Here’s why I’m worried – part of me is thinking that all this is is just filling in Chloe’s backstory before the events of the game.  Why?  We already know what happened.  That would be stupid.  That would be the biggest waste of time and potential ever.  And the worst thing is that I’m going to buy the first episode to find out.  Because I have to know.  I have another theory, and I’m desperately hoping that it’s true.  If it really is as simple and dumb as what the title suggests, then I am honestly going to be nine kinds of done with Dontnod and their episodic games.

My theory is this – Chloe dies in so many of the timelines that Max has.  Whether it be in the beginning when Nathan shoots her, the junkyard where you can accidentally shoot her while playing with David’s gun, the alternate timeline if you have Max kill her when she asks her too, and at the very end if you choose to sacrifice her.  I always believed that the tornado was the alternate timelines Max created coming together to fuck up reality.  It made sense.  My theory is that this game has Chloe in the nether-space between timelines.  Like a space where nothing is real and she is desperate to escape.  Kinda like the world of the Nexus in Star Trek Generations.  That would be fascinating!  No joke, if they go that route then it makes sense why her reaction at the end where she sees Rachel is one of awe.  Like she can’t believe that she’s actually there.

But I am still worried that this is just rehashing a backstory we already know.  To Square Enix and Dontnod, if that is really the route you go, so help me Groj I will make the longest and most nit-picky post explaining why you are wasting gamers’ money that you have ever seen!  Not that you care, I’m sure, but hopefully my audience will care.  And I’m going to make sure all of you are told as fast as possible.  The first episode comes out August 31st.  Your move, Dontnod

Initial Verdict:
You Have My Attention

Peace out,

Maverick

The Cinematic Universe Trends Needs to Die

It really does.  It really, really does.  Seems like every film company is trying to find a way to make their own cinematic universe crap, and it is producing some of the stupidest films ever made.  People don’t realize that Marvel really found lightning in a bottle with their cinematic universe.  And part of that was having a fan of the comics who stood his ground on making the films true to the source material that he was adapting.  This concept could have been done so much worse.  There are stories about how Disney and the current head of the MCU have clashed on ideas which shows that if Disney had had their way, it would have been a lot worse.

However, it seems like every film company under the sun wants to have their version of the cinematic universe, and without a single exception they all suck.  Don’t come at me that Wonder Woman is awesome.  I’m sure it is.  Haven’t seen it.  Will Netflix it, someday.  But the DCEU is dead on arrival right now, and unless they have some good films to build on the ground they have FINALLY laid down, then it will still die.  Not unlike how the Ghostbusters remake’s attempt to make a universe are dead.  Or how Universal’s pathetic attempt to form the “Dark Universe” died right out of the gate.  Not to mention the Star Wars new extended universe.  And on that note…

Rogue One sucked!  I finally watched it, and I am going to do a review of it, but here’s my Cliff Notes – it sucked.  I don’t get why people are saying how great it was.  The film was boring.  So unbelievably boring.  Every single character in the film is boring.  Listening to Darth Vader make a stupid pun hurt me inside.  The plot was bad.  The CG faces for characters was bad.  Nothing about it was good.  How so many people could sing its praises is beyond me.  I genuinely believe it is just sad fanboys/girls who so desperately want Star Wars stuff in their lives that they will say that anything is good.  Just like how they sing about how great Episode VII was, when I couldn’t escape the fact that it is virtually a shot-for-shot remake of the original, except with a chick who can’t act and Emo Vader with his retarded-ass lightsaber.  Now they are making more films that no one asked for.  How about they release Star Wars: 1313?!  There’s something I actually wanted to see.

My point in all of this is simple – these cinematic universes need to go.  Marvel is already planning to bring theirs down a few pegs once the Infinity War films are done.  I saw that James Cameron wants to make a cinematic universe for that Avatar films.  Every company under the sun wants to try their hand at exploiting nostalgia by remaking old films in a way where it sets up for a cinematic universe.  These films are almost-exclusively terrible, and they are wasting money that could be put to better use in better films.

After all, we didn’t want a DCEU.  We wanted good DC films!  I don’t want a Dark Universe.  Nobody wanted that.  At all.  Not one person asked for that, and no one is going to miss it now that it is pretty much dead.  Nobody is asking for an Avatar universe.  The SJWs died on the hill that was the Ghostbusters remake.  I am honestly getting bored of the endless sequels.  Remakes might FINALLY be seeing a downturn now that they have become more and more box office poison.  Reboots too.  If only video games could learn a thing or two from this and be done with the endless sequels and give us some new IPs too.  There’s a thought.

Just think of all the talent being snubbed because Hollywood wants to cash in on some other form of nostalgia.  Think of the better films that could have been made if Hollywood had, instead of trying to make another stupid cinematic universe that will NEVER get the traction Marvel did, put their money into some of the smaller projects sitting on their desks?  What unseen vision is out there that will never see the light of day because the corporate dumbfucks who make movies are too busy making cash grabs?

What’s more, part of me is worried that now Hollywood has decided to just abandon the domestic market with films and instead make movies now intended just for foreign audiences.  Red Letter Media made a good point when they talked about the new Mummy film when they said the level of exposition seems like it wasn’t being made for American audiences.  It’s being made for foreign ones.  One of the biggest defenses people have for crappy movies is that they are able to recoup their money overseas.  That may be true.  In which case, will Hollywood just make safe movies for the US that they know will dominate overseas?  Stop caring about the local audiences for easy cash?  If that’s the case, why should I even go to the movies anymore?  I see trailers these days and I honestly don’t care.

As I said, Marvel caught lightning in a bottle.  That isn’t something just anyone can do, and instead of learning that lesson, Hollywood is content to just churn out more of this bait to lure people back in.  And it needs to stop.  The thing that really blows my mind is why Universal actually believed there was a cinematic universe potential in old monster movies?  That seems both short-sighted and desperate.  Is this a sign of how the film industry is doing overall?  Depressing.

Until next time, a quote,

“Hollywood has become hopelessly chained to the bottom line.” – Bruce Campbell

Peace out,

Maverick