Dane Cook: Offensive and Stupid

You know, I’ve kind of just ignored Dane Cook.  I’ve seen a lot of his stand-up when I’ve been channel-surfing and landed on Comedy Central.  It was dumb, boring, moronic and not funny, but I knew who he appealed to.  He appealed to teenage girls and young women.  Along with stupid guys.  He was attractive enough to get an audience from the females, and stupid enough to get an audience with the guys because he is dumb a brick and they can relate to him.  I was pretty unimpressed, but I moved on fairly quickly.  Seemed to be no point in dwelling on it.  He’s an idiot.  Just another boring and mildly offensive comedian, like Daniel Tosh or Jeff Dunham.

But then there was a recent nugget from a stand-up routine he did at The Laugh Factory, in LA.  Brace yourself for one of the greatest bits of stupidity that you have ever seen.

So, I heard that the guy came into the theater about 25 minutes into the movie.  And I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie, but the movie is pretty much a piece of crap. (laughs at his own pretentiousness) Yeah, spoiler alert.  I know that if none of that would have happened, pretty sure that somebody in the theater, about 25 minutes in, realizing it was a piece of crap, was probably like, ‘ugh, fucking shoot me.’

Wow.  God, there are not words to describe what a complete piece of shit you, Dane.  There really aren’t.  If I could create a word that could somehow embody just how awful you are, I would, but it’s not possible.

I did a couple of posts talking about the shit that Evangelical Christians, Rush Limbaugh and a Republican Representative from Texas said about the tragedy at Aurora, Colorado.  But what you have done here is so much worse than what they could have conceived of.  You are making a joke at the expense of people who died in this theater in one of the worst pieces of domestic terrorism that we have seen in years.  Did some part of you, at some point, realize how fucking disgusting this is, and how awful a person you are for conceiving of it?  You surely at some point must have looked at this joke, assuming that you actually think before you speak, and said, “wow, this might just be a little bit too offensive.”

Nope, you didn’t.  You didn’t because you lack the brain power to actually think things through.  You lack the intellectual prowess to have that brain thing operate as something other than a hat-rack.

But aside from pissing on the victims of this tragedy, he also insulted a fucking awesome movie.  This movie was incredible.  Every single scene in it was a work of art.  The dialogue and presence of Tom Hardy’s Bane.  The power and humanity of Michael Caine.  The incredible action and the complete resolution that these films came to, just as the fans wanted.  Dane Cook, apparently, isn’t smart enough for that.  He doesn’t have the intellectual prowess to understand this.  My guess is that he is a Michael Bay fan.  Unless it has tits or explosion, he won’t watch it.  That makes sense.  Michael Bay films are about en par with who this man is.

Dane Cook, you suck as a comedian.  You aren’t funny, and more than that, you are offensive.  Talent has left you, Daniel Tosh, Carlos Mencia, Jess Dunham, Tracy Morgan, and all the other bottom-of-the-barrel comedians behind.  You suck as an actor.  The only film that I liked with you in it was Mr. Brooks, and that was because we got to watch you die!  Everything else was the worst.  The absolute worst.  And you are a terrible human being, because you decide that you are going to make a joke about the fact that a dozen people got killed, and this apparently struck you as comedic gold.

Fuck you, Dane.  Get off the stage.  You don’t deserve to be there anymore.

Until next time, a quote,

“So my gripe about a lot of today’s comedians is not that they’re too edgy, or too offensive, or that they lack empathy, or any of this whiny bullshit I’m hearing from my friends on the Left.  My complaint is that they’re bland and unsubstantial.  They think that merely saying something that offends some particular group of people makes them ‘edgy.’  It does not make you edgy.  The reason that people like George Carlin and Richard Pryor, and even Lennie Bruce, were edgy was because their comedy came from some over-arching world-view.  It came from a place of substance.  They attacked the social moors of their time.  You guys aren’t doing any of that.”  -TJ Kincaid, Dane Cook is Offensive

Peace out,

Maverick

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The Only One

I see her there, with that body that I so admire, and the face I have so missed.  I see her laying there, out in the sun.  We grew up together, yet she doesn’t really know who I am.

I fell in love with her.  Many years ago.  I have told nobody.  Nobody knows anything.  The tan skin, the brown hair, the brown eyes, they are all something that I feel in love with ages ago.  I feel in love with them because they are beautiful.  Not just because of the physical.  There is a mind underneath that.  There is a brain that has ideas, has dreams, has thoughts and feelings.  We used to stay up late at night, talking about them.  How I have missed the moments of childhood where I was able to be in love with her, and I didn’t think about what it meant.  I didn’t have to ponder what it meant.

People will tell me that what I feel will pass.  I have been trying to get it out of my mind.  Yet every time I see her, it all comes back.  The lust from the physical, the attraction from the mental, and the love from the emotional.  She sits out there, getting sun.  I burn, which is why I don’t join her.  But even if I did, that would be worse.  So close, yet unable to touch her.  Unable to tell her how I feel.  Unable to say what I truly think and what I want more than anything else to say.  I would give everything for just the chance to be able to do so.  Yet it is something that I know will never come.

I have recently made the decision to stop pursuing love.  It was something that has been breaking my heart because every time I tried to find it, I was stopped cold.  My final attempt was with a girl who I didn’t like when I first met her.  We grew on each other, though.  It has had its ups and downs, like all friendships.  I invited her to a concert.  I didn’t tell her it was a date.  I knew I didn’t have to.  This musician is a beautiful artist, and his music is among the most romantic there is.  But forces beyond my control denied me that.  Denied me the ability to have that one shot.

Now, it’s over.  She has found somebody new, and I will never, ever get another chance again.  I have failed, and now that failure has culminated in me realizing that love is never coming my way again.  My fiance died, now I am condemned to be alone, forever.

But even as I was hoping to find a relationship with this girl, the girl I grew up with came back to my mind.  She is there every morning.  She is there throughout the day.  I see her there, and I can’t help but think about her.  The image of this will be burned into the back of my mind, tormenting me.  Will I ever stop wanting her?  It has been 11 years.  I have been in love with her that long.  After all that, I will never get a chance to stop it.  It’s there forever.

And she can never know.  She would never understand.  I would be looked down upon.  I would be shunned.  Our friendship, which has gradually ebbed away over these last few years would crumble beneath my feet.  The very idea makes me want to cry.

Why, then, can she not leave my mind?  Is it being condemned?  I have a feeling that if there is a Hell, it isn’t some fiery place, but it is just this.  It’s Earth.  Just living here, with all the inane bullshit that we have to suffer through every single day.  The endless series of drivel and change, but where nothing truly gets better.  That is what Hell is like.

And so I see her there, bathing in the sun, her natural tan getting even moreso.  She’s leaving soon, with the man of her dreams.  Me, I may never escape.

She is the one.  The only one.  Not the only one I love, but the only one I can’t forget.

Until next time, a quote,

“I guess that’s why I like dreamless nights and forgotten memories.  Because it’s kind of like a small sneak-preview of death.  A small sneak-preview of what death should be.”  -TJ Kincaid, grunglebunt 

Peace out,

Maverick

All Grown Up

I’m all grown up, but I’m not an adult.  I don’t want to be an adult.  Every day, I hear them talking.  Every day, I see them interacting.  I work with them at my job at the college.  I have been educated by them.  I am surrounded by them all the time.  It’s part of living, I guess.  But the more that I see them, the more that I hear them, the more that I am around them, the less that I want to be one of them.  I honestly can’t stand them.

There are a bunch of female-types who work at the desk where I work.  I pass by the desk a dozen times a day.  You know what I hear about almost every time I pass by?  I hear about how much they are annoyed by their boyfriends.  How stupid these people are in comparison to the overwhelming brilliance that these girls apparently have.  Of course they are.  Of course, these women are just the smartest people, and these guys are dumb shits.  Apparently, it never occurred to them that if these people’s stupidity is such an annoyance, perhaps they should leave them, and find smarter guys.  Ladies, if your guy is an idiot, you have nobody to blame but yourself.  Smart a nice guys get tossed aside because of your shallow asses.  Don’t get me wrong, guys do shallow shit too, but guess what – you are more vocal about it.

And they are just one example.  It’s everywhere.  All over the place, I hear about the most boring and inane stuff in existence.  There are home loans.  There are car loans.  There is stuff about what their grandma is doing, or where their parents went on vacation.  The stupidest stuff in the history of humanity, yet to adults, this is what makes up a very good conversation.  There are pets, there are vacations, there are rooms that were painted recently.  Why does anybody care about this?  Who could conceivably give a fuck about what color you painted your room?  I don’t.  But to adults, this is what makes up good things to talk about.

I am starting to think that being a grown-up entails that you immediately start having a very healthy (to them) fixation on family, be very concerned with the everyday banal, have a very deep curiosity into other people’s banal, and not talk about anything that actually matters.  And you know what – I hate it.  I have ever stupid, simpering, mind-numbing, attention-killing moment of it.  For real, every time I hear people talking about their house or their family and what their family did, I want to kick something.  Hard.

You know what interests me?  Well, lots of things.  There is the current social and political climate.  That is always interesting.  For real, it is.  Since I live in America, I am getting to watch yet-another of these big prime-time entertainment spectacles that we call the 2012 Presidential Election.  For real, it’s all just entertainment.  It doesn’t matter who wins.  Nothing is going to change.  The military-industrial complex is still going to be fed.  Congress will still suck Wall Street’s dick.  The growing police state in this country will continue to grow.  Nothing is going to change.

Then there is the nerd culture.  I am a connoisseur of a good story.  Any form it comes in.  Books, movies, TV, video games.  You name it.  A good story is worth everything.  But when I talk about my love for video games, you know what I hear more often than I’d like?

“Are you kidding me, video games?  Man, grow up.”

Or some variation of that.  Like liking a story that is in pixel form and you can interact with is so immature.  What they don’t realize is that the gaming world has grown so much from where it was only 10 or 5 years ago.  The stories are now getting complicated.  There is subtlety and nuance.  There are games coming out that have incredibly complex characters.  When Roger Ebert said that games could never be art, he couldn’t have known how wrong he is.

There are so many great things to talk about.  It is the greatest time to live right now.  Sure, there are a LOT of problems in this country.  The pointless drug war.  The pointless overseas wars.  The fact that we don’t have universal health care.  All of these are problems.  But think about this – the world is connected like never before.  The internet has made the entire world come together in a way that our forefathers never could have imagined.  Truly, it is the most amazing time to live.

So, there are all sorts of awesome things to talk about, and what do I hear everywhere I go?  Inane bullshit.  Just people talking about pointless nonsense because…and that’s where I get lost.  I don’t have a single clue as to why.  Is it because talking about the bigger stuff is tougher?  Does talking about the things that matter just irk people in some way?  I mean, I have heard about the social contract that says you never talk about religion and politics (a stupid social contract, by the way), but why is it that people can’t talk about anything?

There is a saying that I saw once upon a time –

Big people talk about ideas
Medium people talk about things

Small people talk about other people

And I agree with it.  Being a grown-up is boring.  I hear them, and I’m bored.  Apparently, being immature is when you don’t like talking about houses, car loans, pets, relationship partners or what family are doing.  Being immature is when you like to be free to your own expression.  When you like things that are not just for adults.  When you are able to live a life by your own standards, rather than what society sets for you.

Being a grown-up fucking sucks.

Until next time, a quote,

“I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don’t rush into adulthood, it isn’t all that much fun.” – Bob Newhart

Peace out,

Maverick

Rush Limbaugh: Society’s Intellectual Trash Can. AGAIN?!?!

Dammit, I am getting so damn tired of this!  I am getting so tired of having to listen to this insane, inhumane and heartless bastard speak.  Every time that this man opens his giant fatass lips (oh yeah, I went there.  After this, all bets are off!), hate comes from his mouth.  Not two words of love and respect have been uttered from his mouth, ever.  He disrespects women.  He disrespects the LGBT community.  All this man is able to do is to spout lies and filth that paint a group of people who have done nothing to him as the enemy, with him, the idiot on the radio, being the hero of the American people.  Like this jackass is some kind of great philosophical mind.

So, this is going to be a post like I usually do.  Here is the link, and now we are going to do this, hit for hit.  Now let’s go after this piece of shit, one point at a time.

So it’s been 221 years since the enactment of the Second Amendment; 600 years since the introduction of the rifle, a long-barreled weapon; and 150 years of pistols able to use more than one bullet.

Well, this is starting out like every other conservative position on this issue.  The 2nd Amendment argument.

The time since Tim Burton took a charming, funny, and wholesome 1960s kids’ show…? I was thinking about this over the weekend. I remember watching Batman on television, and it was a cartoon show with human characters. Adam West was the guy who played Batman.

O-kay, where are you going with this, Rush?  Tim Burton took this character, and did what?  I hope you’re not thinking that this character was always meant to be some kind of funny and family-friendly guy, because that was never what the comic was meant for.  Batman was about internal struggle.  He’s an anti-hero.  He does horrible things, but tries to continuing to justify his existence.  It is a dark look into the human psyche.  That’s why he’s called “The Dark Knight,” because he does horrible things, yet does it for what he thinks is the greater good.  So, your move, Rush.

And every time Batman punched somebody, the word “POW!” in a comic book bubble came up. Burgess Meredith played the Penguin. I forget who was the Joker. Cesar Romero was the Joker. It was a comedy show. It was a cartoon show. It was a charming, funny, wholesome 1960s kids’ show that was on at 7:30 ET. But how long has it been since Hollywood metastasized that show with sick, dystopian, and occasionally anti-American worldviews?

Wow, Rush Limbaugh actually used the word metastasized.  That’s impressive.  I’m amazed that word actually is in his vocabulary.  Next, Hollywood didn’t do this, dumbass.  Look back through the old Batman comics.  The darkness of his character was always a key point of the character.  I guess you wouldn’t know that, since research has never been your bread and butter, but hey, whatever.

And how is it “sick, dystopian, and occasionally anti-American?”  Gotham isn’t a dystopia.  It isn’t trying to be some utopia.  It is a city that is riddled with crime.  That’s not really any different than any other city.  The only difference here is that there are super-criminals, and Batman.  Now, with that in mind, just where the hell does the anti-American side of the argument come from?  He lives in America, is sometimes working with American police, even though he has used the cops when it suits him.  Bruce Wayne is a billionaire, which is what you crony capitalist love-slaves are always championing.  I would think that this guy would embody everything you all admire.  I hope you plan on explaining this, Rush.

Do you know what “dystopian” means? For those of you in Rio Linda, it’s the opposite of utopia. “Utopia” is perfection on earth. “Dystopia” is utter, total failure and chaos. Dark, dank, colorless, finished.

Huh.  According to Google –

Utopia – An imagined place or state of things in which everything is perfect. The word was first used in the book Utopia (1516) by Sir Thomas Moore.

 

Dystopia – An imagined place or state in which everything is unpleasant or bad, typically a totalitarian or environmentally degraded one.

Nice research there, Rush.  Did you catch how all of these definitions have the world “imagined” in there?  I’m hoping you can reconcile how something imaginary can affect the real world.

So Batman in the sixties on TV metastasizes to a sick dystopian, hyper-violent Batman movie in 23 years. Twenty-three years since Batman on TV to the first Batman movie. And the birth of the modern Batman series of films with which the killer in Aurora explicitly identified, by his own admission…

Uh, Rush, I don’t think that you are using the word “metastasized” in the correct way.  The definition is for something to spread or grow.  Now, if you were trying to say “corrupted,” that would make more sense, but grammar is important.  Anyway, this is just sick.

I know where he’s going with this, too.  He’s about to make a remark that the shooter identified himself as the Joker, and therefore, this is the Batman comic’s fault.  Yeah, what a way to look at the issues, Rush.  You are trying to conflate a comic book/film/TV character with the events that happened in Aurora, Colorado.  Fuck you.

What are you frowning at me about, Snerdley?

Gee, I wonder.  Could it be the fact that you are saying something incredibly stupid for which you have no basis or evidence for?  Could it be that you are making the same stupid and tired argument that parents who blame violent video games for their children being violent, except with Batman?  Don’t believe me?  Don’t worry, he will prove it.

But on the television. I’m talking about the television show, popular media. It was a kids’ show. It was harmless, family-oriented fun. You laughed at that show. Batman in the comics was not so much. It was still a comic book thing.

Oh my god, did Rush have another drug-addict’s moment of clarity?  He just identified that the comic book character was very dark, and that the character on the TV series was deliberately made to be family-friendly, yet he is still going to go after Hollywood.  What a complete idiot!  This man can’t even realize when he’s being stupid!  It’s like that light bulb that tells you when you are being smart or stupid just didn’t instal in his brain.

nyway, in 23 years since the Batman TV show, it’s become what this guy explicitly identified with. And then you can bring up Oliver Stone, if you want to. He made a movie called Natural Born Killers. It was a “love story.” Woody Harrelson was in it. It was a love story about mass murder.

Wha…?  What the hell are you talking about?  Okay, so we went from Batman to Oliver Stone.  Can you draw me the line between Batman and Oliver Stone?

Natural Born Killers.  That’s the movie the Columbine killers identified with.

Oh…you’re saying that because the killers of Columbine identified with a movie, it is the movie’s fault.  I thought the big conservative position was that it was Marilyn Manson’s fault (even though it was found out later that they actually had no love for his music)?  Well, since you can’t say anything smart, you might as well be confusing.

That took 18 years. (They also kind of dug the Matrix movies.) The time in which the prevalence of spectacular, multiple murders for no obvious point other than celebrity has accelerated is approximately the past 20 years. We’ve had long-barreled rifles for 600 years. We’ve had multi-bullet pistols over 150 years. We’ve had the Second Amendment for 221 years. We have had spectacular multiple murders for no obvious point other than celebrity accelerated like crazy in the past 20 years.

What?!  You’re kidding me!  You don’t think that mass murder has been happening before violent movies?  Ah, gee, here’s a few examples –

  • The Holocaust
  • The systematic murder of people under Stalin in Russia
  • Charles Whitman killed 13 people, wounded 31 others at the University of Texas in 1966
  • The biggest school killing was in 1921, in Michigan using explosives
  • Police have been abusing authority and murdering people since their inception

The point is, Rush, that mass-murder isn’t a new thing.  In fact, if you want to go back through history, it isn’t even a thing that involves guns, or is of the modern age.  You can murder just as many people with a sword as with a gun.  It just takes longer, is all.  And is arguably a lot messier.  Well, you said something dumb.  What’s next?

My point is, how do you blame the Second Amendment? How do you blame the guns for this? The guns to do this kind of thing have been around for all kinds of time, but you can peg other elements in our culture that have been around lot less time and have much more influence (if you want to start arguing influence). I didn’t bring this up. I’m simply reacting to it like I always do. You want to start blaming the Second Amendment? You want to start blaming guns? Then let’s talk about it.

No, Rush, I’m not blaming anything.  I am trying to analyze this.  But if you want to take a character from a comic book and blame this guy for what has happened, then you damn well better come with something to put on the table.  What have you brought so far?  Oh, right, nothing.  You’ve only just said a lot of stuff, and made sure that it looks like you know what you’re talking about.  You don’t, Rush, so can you please keep the argument of being factual to the professionals?  Oh, shit, you’re not done talking.

What are you shaking your head in there for?

Apparently, somebody on your show is smart, because they are shaking their head at your asinine argument.

I’m not blaming anybody. I’m reacting. I’m not blaming anybody. The guy who did this is who gets the blame. Look, I’m just not gonna sit here and listen to the Constitution of this country be blamed for this. I’m not gonna let that go. Pure and simple. They start the game; I’m gonna finish the game. I’m Mr. Moneybags in Monopoly, and I’m winning the cash in the middle of the board with the roll of snake eyes.

Nobody’s blaming the Constitution, you idiot!  They are blaming the weapons, and people’s access to weapons.  While I don’t agree with my fellow liberals that getting rid of guns alone is going to solve this, I do like that we are having a discussion.  It’s a sign of a healthy country.  But apparently, you, Mr Moneybags, wow, what an appropriate metaphor.  You are paid ad revenue and get all sorts of other deals for getting to spout your uninformed stupidity to a mass of people who are too stupid to think.  But apparently, you just want us all to keep our mouths shut, and to not listen to you.

Rush Limbaugh, for the sake of not having all of America look like idiots to the rest of the world, would you please shut the fuck up?

Please?

Until next time, a quote,

“I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.”  -Edith Sitwell

Peace out,

Maverick

Aurora Massacre a Result of Attacking on Christians?! (Part II)

Dammit, why do I have to keep talking about this?!  Christians, why do you do this?  Why do you have to have whole groups of people who spread hatred around to everyone?!  What is wrong with you people?!  I’m going to try and keep this short, but I make no promises.  This is bullshit, pure and simple.  This is some of the most disgusting, morally repugnant and inhuman shit that I have ever seen.  To everyone who will be being talked about here, I hate you all.  I don’t know you, but I hate you, because all you can do is spread hate and bigotry and you are a disease on the face of humanity.

First, there is Jerry Newcombe.  He had some lovely things to say about what has happened in Aurora, Colorado.

If a Christian dies early, if a Christian dies young, it seems tragic, but really it is not tragic because they are going to a wonderful place.. on the other hand, if a person doesn’t know Jesus Christ.. if they knowingly rejected Jesus Christ, then, basically, they are going to a terrible place.

What a piece of shit.  He is basically making the argument that the Christian victims of this tragedy died, then it’s a good thing, and if you aren’t Christian, well – sucks to be you!  But he isn’t done.  This asshole has more to say on the subject.

I have to think that all of this, whether it’s the Hollywood movies, whether it’s what we see on the internets, whether it’s liberal bias in the media, whether it’s our politicians changing public policy, I think all of those somehow have fit together—and I have to say also churches who are leaving the authority of Scripture and losing their fear of God—all of those things have seem to have come together to give us these kinds of incidents.

Yes, because Christianity has never contributed to any horrible things in the past, right?  Oh, except for all of these –

The Salem Witch Trials
The Spanish Inquisition
The Crusades
Charlemagne killed thousands of Saxons for not converting to Christianity
Christian missionaries killed thousands of Native Americans for not converting to Christianity
Destruction of the Pagans
The Holocaust

Yeah, but it’s the liberal media and leaving the church is what is the cause of this horrible massacre.  Does the fact that you are a complete and disgusting piece of shit not bother you in the slightest?  Yeah, instead of talking about how tragic this is, you have to find a way to pin this on liberals.  You have to make this about your own personal agenda.  The reason for that is obvious – because there isn’t a single decent bone in Newcombe’s body.  All he cares about is money and getting his message out into the world.  This makes sense, since the Evangelical Christians have a gift at getting other people’s money.

But as bad as this piece of shit is, he is nothing compared to the second group of people – The Westboro Baptist Church.  It’s like these assholes can’t stop themselves.  They are so disgusting that they are in a category all their own.  Here is a Tweet from Fred Phelps (the worst piece of shit in this country) –

Hi ho Hi ho, to Colorado we go! ! ! ! ! examiner.com/article/westbo…

What the fuck is wrong with these people?!  Does they just get off on human misery?  Do they cum whenever stuff like this happens?!  I would believe it.  There is no other explanation.  There is no other way that I can understand what a horrible person you are.  There is no low that is too low for you.  There is no action too repulsive.

Fred Phelps, you are the most disgusting person in this country.  I wish I could make some hyperbole and say that you are the most disgusting person in the world, but I won’t.  But I will say that it doesn’t get any worse than you here in this country.  You are a loathesome, miserable, unloved, worthless piece of shit, and if you got hit by a bus, the world wouldn’t miss you.

Christians, it’s time for you all to understand something.  If you are against these people, it’s time for you to be openly against them.  For too long, you have sat on the sidelines, said nothing, and enabled these fucking monsters.  You can’t afford to do nothing.  Because us atheists are sick of being the only ones who call out the sick bastards.

That’s it, those are your choices – either be with them, or against them.  This neutrality of “it’s just their faith” bullshit is getting old.

Until next time, a quote,

“Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price.”  -Bill Maher, Religulous

Peace out,

Maverick

Aurora Massacre a Result of Attacking on Christians?!

Well, I had thought that I would let my professional blog handle this, since all that was needed to be said was said there.  Or so I thought.  Then, I came across this neat little gem, and I had to comment on it.

You see, when I first heard about this, I knew that the moment it got out, this was going to be a two-sided debate.  The first side would be the “2nd Amendment” argument, saying that we have to have more guns, and how guns are the solution.  They are idiots.  Then there was going to be the “we have to get rid of guns” argument, which is equally stupid because 1. it’s never going to happen, and 2. violence won’t stop just because we get rid of guns.  Violence is a part of the human condition, and we have to square up with that.  That is what I thought the debate was going to be.  Just like after Columbine, just like after Virgina Tech, and just like after the Gabbie Giffords shooting.

But it turns out that a Texas Republican, Rep. Louie Gohmert, had a different theory as to why this massacre happened –

You know what really gets me, as a Christian, is to see the ongoing attacks on Judeo-Christian beliefs, and then some senseless crazy act of terror like this takes place.

Oh my fucking god.  You went there.  You really went there.  You are saying that the reason that this happened is because of the fact there are “ongoing attacks” (outright fucking lie) against Christians?  You are really saying that because we aren’t Christian enough, this man went into a theater and killed 12 people, while wounding 50 others, is because America doesn’t have enough Christian values?  What a complete piece of shit.  This guy is the worst, the absolute worst.  But we’re not done.

People say … where was God in all of this?  We’ve threatened high school graduation participations, if they use God’s name, they’re going to be jailed … I mean that kind of stuff. Where was God? What have we done with God? We don’t want him around. I kind of like his protective hand being present.

Oh really?  You think that the “protective hand” of God is going to stop this?  Gee, where has been for all the starving children in Ethiopia?  I wonder where God was when there was a massive earthquake in Haiti, displacing thousands upon thousands of people?  How about during the Spanish Inquisition, when hundreds of people were being murdered, all in his name?  Or maybe you could explain what happened in the Crusades, when Christian knights were attacking and killing thousand of Arabs?  Where was God then?  Oh, right, he was nowhere.  Because he doesn’t exist, that’s why.

Man, why does this shit always have to come from Texas?  I’m getting tired of constantly having to go after Texas for the crazy and stupid shit that they do.  Texas is becoming a tumor on the American zeitgeist.  More and more stories come out of there that are beyond offensive.  I’m not offended by this, even though it is horrible beyond belief.  I am saddened.  America used to be known for something.  We used to be a nation of great thinkers, great leaders, and great ideas.  Now, we are a shell.  We are a nation that has been sapped of all it’s glory by the politicians, who are slaves to Wall Street, and the people, who have been bought and paid for with phones and computers.

But on a more serious note – we need to get rid of Texas.  It’s beyond making us look back.  It’s making us look failed.

Until next time, a quote,

“Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.”  – P.J. O’Rourke

Peace out,

Maverick

Rush Limbaugh vs. The Dark Knight Rises???

Okay, I’ve finally seen it all.  This is it.  This is the crème de la crème of stupidity.  For real, it doesn’t get any dumber than this.  The moment that I heard about this, I thought that this had to be a joke.  I mean, come on, nobody is this stupid, right?  It can’t possibly be done.  This has to be some kind of parody.  I mean, we all knew that Rush Limbaugh has no sense of humor, but maybe he found one for this!  Maybe it’s possible for Rush Limbaugh to actually have a bit of amusement at something.  But nope, this is for real.

What you are about to read, is by far the dumbest thing that you have ever heard in your entire life.  Here’s a link to it, so you can listen for yourself.  I, I can’t wait, so let’s just get going.  This is awesome.  Fantastically, amazingly, stupidly the most awesome thing that you will ever hear.

Have you heard, this new movie, the Batman movie — what is it, the Dark Knight Lights Up or something?

Well, you already demonstrated that you can’t follow pop culture, yet you are about to comment on it.  This is going to be rich.

Whatever the name of it is. That’s right, Dark Knight Rises, Lights Up, same thing.

I can tell that this is going to be some biting insight, can’t you?

Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in the Dark Knight Rises is named Bane. B-A-N-E.

Well, Rush, we’ve established that you can spell.  That’s a step in the right direction.  So, what about this villain?  I’m sure that you have figured out something very important that the rest of us need to hear.

What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran, and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy? Bain.

Uh, there is a real controversy about Bain Capital, because Romney bought that company, liquidated all of the assets, fired all of the employees, and cashed in on destroying this business.  So tell me, Rush, how is the name of a company that is a perfect example of why Romney shouldn’t be allowed to run this country, is connected to this latest film by Chris Nolan.  I’m sure that this is going to be very insightful.

The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental, that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane?

What the hell?  Okay, Rush, explain this to me.  So, A character, from Batman, who has existed since 1993, when a Democrat named Bill Clinton was in office, and a storyline from the comics that existed long before this film, and they finished production of this film long before Mitt Romney finally won the nomination, is being used as part of an attack against him?

And by the way – did you do any research at all?!  Of course not.  That would require you getting off your ass long enough to actually look at a computer for something other than porn.  Bane isn’t a fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain.  He is a very badass character, who never really had a huge amount of personality to him.  He was cool in The Animated Series, but he wasn’t like the Joker or many of the others, who had a lot of humanity to him.  He was just a garden-variety badass ass-kicker.  So you don’t get this insult right.  But let’s continue.

Anyway, so this evil villain in the new Batman movie is named Bane. And there’s now discussion out there as to whether or not this was purposeful, and whether or not it will influence voters.

And people wonder why the rest of the Western World looks on America like we are a bunch of retards.  It’s shit like this!  This is the dumbest thing that I have ever heard.  Yes, a villain in a Batman film, who isn’t the least bit political, but more social, and not to mention an ass-kicker, is somehow going to influence voters.

Hey Rush, I don’t know if you got the memo, but the bulk of the American public is really stupid!  The bulk of the people who will watch this film have never seen the inside of a voting booth before, and after they see it, they probably never will again.  Or if they do, they won’t have ever heard of Bain Capital, and if they are voting for Mitt Romney, or if they vote Republican, will never have cared.  This is because America is filled with fucking morons who can’t find their own asses with two hands and a road map.  So if there is a legitimate debate going on about this (which I don’t take seriously because, as I have shown in previous posts, Limbaugh isn’t above lying outright to get a reaction), then the people having that debate couldn’t possibly be stupider.

It’s going to have a lot of people. This movie, the audience is going to be huge, lot of people are going to see the movie. And it’s a lot of brain-dead people, entertainment, the pop culture crowd. And they’re going to hear “Bane” in the movie, and they are going to associate Bain.

Unbelievable!  You just identified the fact that a lot of Americans are stupid, yet you honestly think that these people are going to care about politics, and even know what Bain Capital really is?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!?!  That is the DUMBEST thing that I have ever heard!  For real, it doesn’t get any stupider!  Wait, this is Rush Limbaugh, and we’re not done.

And the thought is that when they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year, and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, not Bain Capital, but Bain, Romney and Bain, that these people will think back to the Batman movie –“Oh yeah, I know who that is.”

If you have a feeling that something isn’t right, hold on to that.  That is your brain telling you to run away, because it is going to explode.

There are some people who think it will work. There are some people think it will work. Others think — “You’re really underestimating the American people who think that will work.”

Okay, either Rush Limbaugh either had an alcoholic’s Moment of Clarity (or in his case, a drug addict’s), or you just identified why you are the stupidest person that has ever greeted public airwaves.  I’m going to let the public decide.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why the rest of the world looks at America like we are retarded.  Because of this imbecile.  Take it for what it’s worth.

Until next time, a quote,

“Why so serious?”  -The Joker, The Dark Knight

Peace out,

Maverick