You know Buzzfeed? That SJW, e-drama rag that people still read because stupid people like that crap, and their click-bait fingers get the better of them? Well, it seems that they have a video out that asks men 36 questions. Because this could get a little long, I am going to not belabor any point and just get down to it. Something tells me this will piss me off. After all, it is Buzzfeed. If their hatred of men (especially white, heterosexual men) wasn’t clear to you, it will be soon. The video is easy enough to find, so I won’t link it in here. After all, I am going to be answering all their questions.
36. How does it feel to be the same sex as Donald Trump
Oh, fuck off. How does it feel to be the same sex as Sarah Palin?
35. Why do you hate rom-coms?
Because they suck. I hate The Notebook, and I think that Beyonce’s talent is REALLY overrated. Whitney Houston would own that bitch, back in her younger years.
34. Why do you sit around and make women talk about men in movies, when ya’ll easily just sit around and talk about boobs, for hours?
Oh yeah, man, when I talked about Life is Strange, all I wanted to talk about was Max and Chloe’s titties. For hours! They even had a scene where they’re in a swimming pool in their underwear. So awesome. Wait, what was that? In my review of that episode I talked about how their character development was coming along and how, depending on if you chose to foster a relationship between them or not, it was developing? Well, that kills that theory. Oh, and Lara Croft in the new Tomb Raider! All I did was talk about her titties? Right? What was that? I talked about how she was a vulnerable and interesting character? Stereotype, much? Or maybe you just hang around too many dude-bros in the universities that you so OBVIOUSLY go to.
33. Why do you automatically assume that you won’t like a TV show or movies starring a female lead?
What? Who is this talking about? Dude-bros? I don’t care what gender a protagonist of a story is, so long as they are a good character. My favorite game of 2015 starred two female protagonists, which you had the option to make romantic, if you wanted to. I did, but mostly because I thought that Chloe was SO fucking hot. I dig punk girls. It’s a thing. These stereotypes you have of men are kind of funny.
32. Why are you surprised when women are funny?
What…? Again, who are you talking about here? Citation, please.
31. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with you when we hook up?
So, you’re admitting that you have sex with men for the express purpose of getting your rocks off and couldn’t care less about them as people? That’s telling. I, for one, actually want to know the person I am in bed with. Forgive me if I have questions or thoughts, your grace.
30. Why can’t I sleep with as many people as I want to without being judged?
Go ahead. I don’t care, one way or the other. Sleep with whoever you want. I don’t give two fucks about you, so do what you want. That’s the real equality – apathy. When I don’t give a fuck about your sex life anymore than another person’s. You add on that men are congratulated for it. Yeah, until you look at how easy it is for a girl to cry rape if she suddenly decides she doesn’t want it. There was a great point by Mercedes Carrera in a Drunken Peasants episode about that.
29. Why do you consider a woman a tease if she doesn’t sleep with you after three dates, but a slut if she sleeps with you after one?
Who are the men and where do you find them? Do you just find the first guy at the bar or something and gather research based on one sample? My guess is that the hipster loser who wrote all this for you is just trying to make a point. Badly. I don’t consider a woman a tease if she doesn’t sleep with me after three dates. I don’t date. I think dating is stupid. I just go out to grab a burger with someone and see if things happen. Or at least I used to, before I lost my ability to love after how bad my last relationship ended. Girl has talent. Anyway, this point is stupid.
28. In what world does no mean yes?
I’m gonna let you ladies in on a little something – evil people don’t care if you say no! Although, you social justice types have changed the nature of consent to the point that now, if a woman never says no, and participates in the act of sex in every way, but then suddenly regrets it the next day, then it’s still rape. In what world is that cool?
27. Why do you say that women are “too emotional” to be leaders, then justify cat-calling by saying that men just can’t control themselves?
Here’s a term for you to learn, everyone – non-sequitur! In what world does women being leaders in ANY way correlate to men cat-calling? All fucking ears, ladies.
26. Why do you think that just because you’re nice to me, I owe you my body?
What?! Who thinks that way? Again, so much stereotype. I don’t think you owe me anything, you judgmental bitch. It would be nice if I am nice to you and you are nice back, but I know that you think the Golden Rule doesn’t apply to you. You are a third-wave feminist, after all.
25. Would you EVER send an unsolicited dick-pic?
Nope. Though I wouldn’t send one anyway. Not that you need to know, but I’m not that proud of what I got…
24. Why do you think it’s okay to make harassing comments about women, but when it’s your sister, it’s not okay?
Boy, you do NOT get how poorly my sister and I get along. But that’s beside the point. I don’t make harassing comments about women, and I don’t it’s cool to be a jerk no matter what gender it is. Something that you clearly don’t know, considering that your entire video is predicated on every man hearing this being a complete piece of shit.
23. How does it feel to interrupt me when I’m in the middle of making a point at a meeting?
Never been at a meeting before. For real, I’ve never worked for a company that has a meeting. Though, I can think that if I am at a meeting, I wouldn’t interrupt anybody. I would wait for them to finish talking, and interject if I feel that I have something to add to the conversation. It’s called courtesy. Heard of it, Ms. Let’s Demonize Men.
22. Why do you have to sit with your legs so wide open? I get that you have balls, but I don’t stand around with my arms wide open for my boobs
Try having balls for a while and tell me how comfortable it is with your legs shoved together. By the way, I only sit with my legs far apart when I know there is enough space. If someone needs some space, I move. That’s called courtesy. Something you wouldn’t know thing 1 about. Do you think that every guy on the metro or a bus is just sitting with his legs as open as possible? Yeah, because no woman has EVER put her bags in the seats next to her. Nope. Not to mention, Your arms don’t directly close around your boobs. They are to the side of them. Closing them around your boobs sounds kind of uncomfortable. Our legs, on the other hand, do close around our balls when we sit. This comparison is retarded.
21. Why are women perceived as the weaker sex?
Citation, please. I mean, I do believe that there are real differences between men and women. It’s science, after all. But I don’t think that women are weak just because they are women. Same as I don’t think guys are tough because they are men.
20. Why is it so bad to show your emotions?
I AM MAN! I EAT MEAT AND PUNCH WOMEN AND SHOW NO EMOTION! BECAUSE EMOTION IS FOR FAGGOTS! *punches woman sucking dick* There, was that stereotypical enough for you?
19. Why are you always trying to prove your masculinity to me?
What? Citation, please. In what way am I trying to prove my masculinity? An example, bitch.
18. Why the fuck isn’t it lady-like to cuss?
My current closest lady-friend swears like a sailor. Especially when she calls me up when she’s blitzed. I love that. I learned to swear the way I do from my mother. Thanks, mom! I love you, bitch!
17. Why is it your first instinct to doubt women who are sexually violated or raped?
Are you fucking kidding ME?! Wow. Fuck you, lady. I do take this sort of thing VERY seriously. However, unlike the university that you so obviously never left, I don’t believe that it should be guilty until proven innocent. I believe that it should be investigated, and the police should be involved. And when all the evidence is gathered, then we can have a trial and prove guilt or innocence. If believing that accused sexual predators or rapists should get a fair trial is distrust or belief that you’re lying, then so be it. Forgive me for believing that the law should mean something. My bad.
16. Why do you assume that woman’s angry because she’s on her period?
I don’t. But, let’s be honest, women do often get piss-y when they are. Stereotypes exist for a reason. That isn’t all the time, or even most of it, but it is a factor. Let’s just be honest about that.
15. Why do you think that women who wear makeup are false-advertising?
Aforementioned lady-friend shows off her makeup to me in pics all the time. Girl has talent. Maybe, instead of lumping all men together in the dude-bro category, you could not just make really stupid assumptions about me.
14. Why isn’t it weird that there is a room full of white men that are making decisions about what I can and can’t do with my body?
Because not very many women run for public office. You want to affect the way the government deals with women’s issues? Cool. Run for office. Get in the House or the Senate. Although, then you have to play the political game. You could run populist like Bernie Sanders, but see, he has a lifetime of being in office and fighting for what he believes is right. You have making videos on Buzzfeed. Good luck. Oh, and forgive me for putting the onus of why there are not more women in office on women. I know, how sexist of me. Believing that women are capable of doing great things like being in government. I’m such a misogynist.
13. Why are straight guys so obsessed with lesbians?
Why are straight women so obsessed with gay men? And I’m talking about the flaming queens here.
12. How does it feel to get kicked in the balls?
How does it feel to get punched in the tits, as hard as humanly possible? You might get some idea then.
11. You ever get tired of trying to be manly all the time?
How am I trying to be manly all the time? I’m just being me. I don’t care if I’m manly or not. I yam who I yam, and that’s all that I yam. Who are these men that you believe are trying to constantly prove their manliness? Again, dude-bros? Yeah, this proves that all of you are just in college, because out in the real world, there are all kinds.
10. Why are you so afraid of gender equality?
Hello, Strawman Stereotypical Guy. I didn’t know you’d be here today.
9. Why do I deserve to be paid less than you?
You’re not. Especially since right now I am between jobs. I just applied for something really awesome today. It is a high-paying job that is boring as fuck, which I think makes me a shoe-in for it. Boring jobs are the ones that people don’t want. I think I’m really qualified for it, so I am stoked. But yeah, this wage gap that you all bring up is a myth. The whole .77 on the dollar is bullshit, because it only factors man and woman and the money they get. There are other factors. Like the fact that women don’t get into the STEM fields as much as men. And before you make the argument about sexism there, look up Mercedes Carrera’s channel on YouTube. She made a great video about #TakeBacktheTech. That puts all your bullshit into perspective. You don’t deserve to make as much as a brain surgeon. Sorry, Toots.
8. In what world does 77 cents equal a dollar?
I just called out that bullshit, so let’s keep going.
7. In what world does 68 cents equal a dollar?
6. How is that fair?
Those factors are based around statistics that just factored in – men, women. There are a TON of variables to consider. Like women who go on maternity leave. The fact that women, statistically, work less hours than men. The fact that women often have families. The fact that women who do go into STEM fields often go into specialty ones. Like women who become doctors going into family medicine rather than neurosurgery. This statistic you give is bullshit. Stop trying to shame men for the fact that women don’t take the initiative. Part of that is on you. After all, you tell women how uninviting and sexist the STEM fields are, would they want to go in it . Again, look at Mercedes’ video about it. It’s mind-boggling how ignorant these people are.
5. Why are you intimidated by a woman who makes more money than you?
I’m not. There are plenty of them. My mother has worked as a secretary in the school district for almost my entire life. She make a damn good salary, and she’s earned it. What makes you think that I think a woman making more money than me is intimidating? I think that the fact that Kim Kardashian makes a shit-ton of money for her giant, fake ass is bullshit, but then I remember the country she lives in, and it all makes sense.
4. Why are opinionated women perceived as bitches?
That depends on how they carry themselves. Are they rude and unable to be talked to in a civilized manner? (I’m looking at you, Big Red) Then yeah, I see that woman as a bitch. But one of my favorite girly-mates is in law school, and she has a ton of opinions about stuff. I have spent many hours sitting in my car in the McDonald’s parking lot, eating fries with her and talking about life. Those are great. So I don’t think that women are bitchy because they have opinions. I think women who are rude for no reason and won’t listen to other people’s opinions are bitches
3. Why aren’t you speaking up when you hear your friends, behind closed doors, making jokes that are offensive to women?
I had a lady-friend who made this funny joke to a chick who was mad at her, “oh, go put your tampon back in, bitch!” She made that joke to the woman’s face. She also make a joke to me that women can’t be Presidents because they would be bombing other countries a few days every month. What should I have said to her?
2. Why are you so afraid of recognizing your own privilege?
Either I missed the other question, or they forgot about it. Whatever. This was basically – let’s find the most offensive stereotypes about men and ask them about it, by Buzzfeed. There was a great video about this company, and I think I’ll close out on a quote from that.
Until next time, a quote,
“So that’s Buzzfeed. Probably the most corrupt and horrifying fake-news company on the planet. Buzzfeed – fake news that you think is real!” – “Jonah Peretti”, If Buzzfeed Were 100% Honest With Us