Lucien’s First Take: TITANS Official Trailer

The edge here is…adorable.  This is the worst.  The absolute worst.  I’ve come to accept that DC’s live-action stuff is never going to aspire to be anything other than a complete shit-show (Wonder Woman being good doesn’t change that.  If anything, it makes it worse because we realize that there is at least ONE person who knew how to do this right, and now they get crushed under the weight of DC’s ineptitude), so I might as well be able to laugh at how bad it is.  A live-action version of Teen Titans?  Okay, let’s see what the damage is.

It’s even worse than I thought.  We start with seeing who I am going to assume is Raven.  And she looks…so not fitting.  I get the feeling she was a character who would be born having resting bitch face all the time.  She was a nice character, but her demeanor is off-putting because she clearly doesn’t like people.  This character, and her TERRIBLE hair dye job, looks derpy.  That’s one Teen Titan that they’ve shit on.  Let’s see more.

Next up, we’re introduced to Robin.  And he is…angsty.  Okay.  Guess he learned his gloomy lessons from Batman.  And yet, when a bunch of thugs ask where Batman is, his response? “Fuck Batman!”  Oh my Groj.  This is every angsty teenager who slits their wrists cross-wise for attention.  Wow.  Plus, I can’t help but notice he is horrible maiming and murdering people.  That’s interesting.  So, are ANY of DC’s character going to not be serial killers?  I guess a moral compass isn’t part of the DCEU’s MO.

We cut to them showing off that Raven has powers, and it looks even worse.  The black eyes effect just makes her look ridiculous.  Is there a reason they couldn’t have gone with her eyes going all white?  I’m genuinely asking here.  Because that eye effect just looks terrible.  I’m gonna be saying that a lot with this post.  It just looks terrible.  Everything looks terrible.  And she’s a scared little bitch.  This bugs me.  Raven was angsty and kinda dark, but she was never this little scaredy-cat character.  I always liked her, growing up.  A character with some depression issues that had cool friends.  It spoke to me as a teenager, after my head injury.  This trailer sucks so bad.

Finally, we get to Beast Boy and Starfire.  The latter is another character with a TERRIBLE hair dye job.  He looks like every Tumblr male feminist I’ve ever seen, except he’s Asian, so I guess he bucked the trend that way.  I only see pathetic white dudes in that role.  But what the HELL have they done to Starfire?!  I had to look this chick who is playing her up.  It is a genuine talent that DC has to be able to take a character who’s hot, and an actress who’s hot, and make them ugly.  That takes talent!  I’m impressed!

Finally, we the big action montage, with the tagline – Inner Demons Will Come Out To Play.  “Why don’t you understand me, mom!”  That’s all I hear when I see shit like this.  This is the worst, and it’s kinda great.  It’s proof of what a flaming shit-show DC has become, and with shit like this, all it will ever be.  But you wanna know what really blows my mind?  DC thinks that people are going to pay a subscription fee to watch this bullshit.  What?!  What moron would pay to watch this garbage?!  DC is being run by delusional idiots who want to cash in on comic book nerds.

The people in the comments saying that this show is gonna be great and all the people who don’t think so are just Marvel fanboys need to shut the fuck up.  This is trash.  This is complete garbage without any redeeming qualities whatsoever.  The effects are laughable.  The character designs are the worst I’ve ever seen.  But more than any of that, it has this adorable edge to it that just tickles me pink.  What a giant pile of shit.

Initial Verdict
DC taking a shit and telling people it’s good

Peace out,

Maverick

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This is a Smear Piece of TotalBiscuit (A response to Forbes Magazine)

The very first thing to know about this article is that at the top, by the person’s name, it says that the opinions of this person are their own and not that of Forbes Magazine.  Well, fuck that.  This read like a hit-piece, and Forbes is shameless enough to put it on their platform.  This is an article that they want associated with their publication.  Hey, Erik Kain, you cool with this?  You cool with a publication you associate with putting out complete hit-pieces of respected gaming critics who died of cancer?  I’m sending you this, so I hope to get an answer.  Really, really am.  Though, we all saw your credibility die with the very thing this article talks about, so hey, let’s get down to it.

Some bitch on Forbes decided that instead of talking about the legacy of consumer advocacy (as opposed to Jim Stirling, who has agreed with Ben Kuchera that doxing is cool, so long as it’s somebody that they don’t like), she decided to talk about his connection with #GamerGate.  A movement that, four years later, still hasn’t died in the eyes of these people.  It never ceases to amaze how they are so quick to slander someone based on a movement that is dead.  But hey, let’s take a look at the article itself and see what this idiot is on about.  Here’s a link to the article, now let’s get into it.

The late YouTube Legend known as John “TotalBiscuit” Bain would have turned 34 on Sunday had he not lost his struggle to bowel cancer about a month ago. Instead of “Happy Birthdays” and tributes to his decade-plus career in the video game industry, however, his name is currently being evoked with the firing of two game developers and associated mob harassment. His critics call it “fitting” that this is Bain’s legacy… but many of his fans, some of whom have grown up with him, are wondering why some internet drama from 2014 is still relevant enough in 2018 to damage Bain’s brand forever.

TotalBiscuit has fuck-all to do with the firing of the Guild Wars 2 devs.  Nothing.  It’s being evoked with that by people who want to smear him for the purposes of…I don’t know.  It genuinely eludes me as to what is to be gained from besmirching the dead when they can’t defend themselves.  You all are the ones doing this.  Because you can’t talk about the fact that the dev in question who got the ball rolling took a COMPLETELY innocuous comment on her PUBLIC Twitter page (she did not set it to private) as an attack on her because of (insert gender politics) and decided to lambast him.  A guy who has said that he loves her work and even replied that he was not trying to offend her.  What followed was an insane outrage against the community and making it completely and utterly about (insert gender politics issue).

You all are the ones who did this, and now I am just DYING to know what TB has in common with this issue, seeing especially that it happened long after he died!

To progressives and what constitutes as “mainstream internet,” Bain was the man who legitimized GamerGate, the 2014 harassment-campaign-turned-consumer-revolt that went on to inspire conservatives.

What?!  What the fuck are you talking about?  When?!  When did he do this?  These people have such an insane view of what happened in the heyday of GamerGate.  It blows my mind.  For those who want a complete break-down, with all the main players involved, here’s a compilation of videos that Internet Aristocrat did about the whole thing.  He goes into great detail, and can clear up ALL of this bullshit.  Let’s take a look, then we can go further.

Wow.  So, in the very interesting story of what happened between the Quinnspiracy and GamerGate, I didn’t much about TotalBiscuit.  That’s funny.  I wonder why that is?  Could it maybe be because this woman is full of shit and looking to attack someone for reasons that I honestly couldn’t tell you?  I’m assuming that this woman is an SJW, and was just looking for a chance to get up on a pedestal.  That’s how these people do.  Well, let’s see what her reasoning is.

He could be described as the Anita Sarkeesian of the right in the current culture wars, always aggressive with his opinions but a bit thin-skinned to criticism himself. (He threatened to quit social media, Twitter and reddit a few times, for starters.)

I’m not getting this.  The Anita Sarkeesian of the right?  According to whom?  How do we know his politics?  You’re making a ton of assertions, and I haven’t seen anything he’s said himself that gives you insight into this.  This whole article is just you using other people’s statements to bolster your opinion.  What did TB say that clues you in to him being right-wing?  Specifically.  I want specifics, you stupid bitch.  You’re slandering a dead man, so I think he deserves that much.

As for him quitting social media, he said in a SoudCloud post that he was doing so because he was dealing with cancer.  I’m sorry that that makes him not as thick-skinned as you’d like.  He couldn’t deal with the stress of all his cancer stuff and the nonsense of social media at the same time.  Tell you what, sugar-tits, let’s see you get Stage 4 cancer and then be as popular as him on social media, where people are want to say inflammatory things (because male or female, it happens to everyone with large amounts of name recognition), and see how well you deal.  I’m sure that you will be the Paragon Virtue of being able to take the knocks without a scratch.  I’m a-quiver of curiosity to see it.

For someone so savvy at digital media preceding the incident, Bain’s involvement with GamerGate in 2014 can only be explained as a lapse in judgment. Up until that point he hadn’t yet been duped by any fake news campaigns perpetuated by organized online trolls.

Oh!  So all that stuff in Internet Aristocrat’s video?  Fake news?  What a crock.  Agree or disagree with his politics, IA did a very good break-down of what was happening, as it was happening.  He made those videos in the thick of it, following threads and forums and seeing the gaming media coming in solidarity of exposed collusion.  Because they couldn’t be honest about their mistakes.  Fuck that noise.  Instead, they have to get the gender politics train running, full steam ahead, and make it about that until the cows come home.

And there are so many details they missed.  Like how Brianna Wu lied about being driven out of her home.  She was doing TV interviews during that time via some kind of streaming.  It wasn’t something they set up.  And guess where she did those – from her office!  Five guesses where her office is.  Not to mention, Zoe Quinn saying she had to flee her home for another umpteenth time just happened to correlate nicely with her having a trip to Europe that she had announced months ahead of time.  There are SO many things that Internet Aristocrat missed, but I guess that this chick is just going to sweep it under the rug by calling it “fake news.”  That’s very SJW for ya.  I swear, anyone who uses the term “fake news” unironically is immediately put in my book as an idiot.

Unfortunately for Bain, his star power, white male privilege and massive fan base of more than a million could never change the narrative to the issue he wanted to discuss. Further, this mistake would eternally brand him as the face of a troll movement whose main claim to fame was making headlines for privacy breaches, hacking and various online crimes including harassing women out of their homes and threats of gun violence.

When was TB the face of GamerGate?!  Who did that?!  His name came up one time in a TwitLonger where he laid out his misgiving about the situation, but that was it.  You even cite it in your stupid fucking article!  All the names that got notoriety in all of this.  Internet Aristocrat, Mundane Matt, Eron Gjoni, Nathan Grayson, Adam Baldwin for coining the term, The Factual Feminist, none of them are TotalBiscuit!  Hell, I remember the Vivian James cartoon being more of a face of the movement, because the movement recognized it didn’t have a face!  This is so factually dumb!  This man has been saddled up to this fucking movement that you all are talking about all these years later because you feel like defaming him, and it fucking pisses me off!

You went on before about all the good that TB had done, as a way to set up how it doesn’t excuse him for the EVIL things that he has done here, but fuck that!  It’s telling how vague you are about the the EVIL things that GamerGate did.  Never mind that in Internet Aristocrat’s video that really got the issue blown up, he said right at the very beginning that he didn’t care that Zoe Quinn fucked five guys.  He cared about who those men were, and the ethical implications that went along with that.  Because they were giving her positive coverage.  IA made GamerGate into a household name.  Back when his channel existed, because he closed it out and made a new one, the views on those videos that the compilation was made from were insane!  You’re putting on a man who has no part in any of this, all of the blame.  It’s disgusting, and shame on you for doing it.  Let’s keep going.

I’m trying to find things to make a point about, but it’s impossible.  This article just goes on and on and on about how GamerGate is evil and anyone who says otherwise is “fake news” and that TB was somehow in the thick of it.  The fucking author even points out that TB only did that TwitLonger and didn’t engage past that.  He made his point and left it at that.  But now, somehow, because Anita Sarkeesian, he’s the figurehead of it?!  I am so fucking confused here.

Here’s what I’m seeing.  I am seeing someone who wants to talk about GamerGate as a thing.  I appears to be that TB’s name being included in all of this was just something to get people to click.  It’s click-bait.  Pure and simple.  Forbes published some click-bait bullshit that is fact-free, and all over the propaganda, to help push a narrative about an issue that these people won’t let die.  I can prove this, too.  Get a load of this statement.

While Gamergate faded away and lost relevancy except among progressive social media bubbles and white supremacists, TotalBiscuit as a brand separate from Gamergate continued to stay relevant among video gamers, both competitive and on Twitch and YouTube.

Did you see that?  The SJW has a brief moment of self-awareness because they have to flee back to the talking points that they want you to know are the real talking points.  And to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise!  This is her pulpit, dammit, and all of us have to agree with her.  From there, she goes on and on about GamerGate and some tangential relation to TotalBiscuit, when there is none!  None!  Nobody remembers him for his contribution into this culture war except for you lot!

Maybe you’re mad that two Bioware employees (one former, one current) besmirched him and were publicly lambasted to no end.  Is that it?  I don’t think so.  She threw every SJW big issue except the kitchen sink at this post.  Anita Sarkeesian, the Guild Wars 2 devs (an issue which has fuck-all to do with TB since it happened over a month after his death) getting fired, whatever you could find to throw into this, and however tangentially, lay at the feet of a dead man.  It’s fucking bizarre.

Which brings me back to what I began this article with.  This is what Forbes wants associated with their publication.  Complete and utter click-bait, and used the name of a popular, dead critic in order to have a pulpit to bitch.  I find this asinine in the extreme, and unethical.  This was an editorial, masquerading itself as a straight news story.  Huh, if only there had been a movement about this sort of nonsense being in mainstream publications.  Like, one that had been building for years and then broke open when one person decided to DMCA a video talking about it. Hm, I wonder what kind of big event that would be?  A fucking mystery to me.  What about you?

Until next time, a quote,

“The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it.” – H.L. Mencken

Peace out,

Maverick

Top 10 Michael Crichton Books

I don’t know how many of you reading this know, but my favorite author is Michael Crichton.  This man had a gift at taking real world concepts and taking them to the next level.  Or finding things that were in the zeitgeist and looking at them from another way.  Then there were his books about medicine, for which he graduated from Harvard.  As well as his books about crime and corporate espionage.  The man even took a stab at historical fiction, and with the exception of the lost manuscript that just got released (I genuinely didn’t like Dragon’s Teeth.  At all.  I thought it was boring as fuck.  Perhaps there’s a reason it was a lost manuscript), he nailed it!  Crichton was a master of the craft, and while I didn’t always agree with everything in his novels (such as in State of Fear, where he makes clear his belief about climate change and what he believes in mankind not being involved in it), I could always read them and be engaged, left with things to ponder.  Here is my list of my 10 favorite.

10. The Terminal Man
It’s so interesting to read this book.  It was written in 1972, and the concepts within it are more terrifying now than they were then.  But Crichton says outright in the beginning that while these concepts are scary, they’re real.  A story about a man who has seizures that cause him to be both violent and stronger, he is brought into a hospital for a new kind of treatment.  It will put wires into his brain to stimulate the parts of his mind during a seizure to stave it off.  However, this man has a twisted psychosis that leads him to escape after the procedure, with a dark plan.  This book is violent, tense, and the concepts within it terrifying.  Mind control is a concept that people talk about today, and mechanisms that could cause it existed then.  Think about that.

9. Rising Sun
A combination book of two things that Crichton does very well – crime novels and corporate espionage.  A story about two detectives who are investigating a murder at a Japanese corporate party.  This book looks at Japanese business, in a way that is not always flattering.  You have two different perspectives on it, so you can see the juxtaposition in approaches to how people treat the Japanese.  It’s also interesting with this stuff and the time period that it was written in, vs how things are now.  The west likes to believe that we get things, but in reality, the countries that aren’t our own are often as alien to us as life on another planet would be.  This is a book of intrigue and culture, and only Crichton could get skate on ice this thin without falling through.

8. A Case of Need
It’s ironic the timing of this.  During a new Supreme Court nomination, where countless people are wondering if Roe v Wade is going to be overturned.  This book also looked at abortion, but during a very different time.  Published in 1968, this book tells the story of a man who is framed for a botched abortion which results in the death of a young woman.  He gets a dear friend to investigate and find out the truth, saving both him and his reputation.  Before abortion was legal, where unsafe abortions killed countless women, this book took a look at the concept with an eye of critical skepticism.  It’s clear that Crichton was on the side of those who wanted legal abortion for women, but he decided to give this book a hard medical approach, along with a decent mystery.  In today’s climate, this book is definitely worth checking out.

7. Airframe
A corporate espionage story through-and-through, this book holds a special place for me because of the subject matter.  Neat fact – I’m afraid of flying.  I hate it.  It ties nicely into my fear of heights.  A fact that many have sniggered at due to how unfathomably tall I am.  Yes, this fact does amuse me to some degree.  Telling the story of an airplane manufacturing company (do they even have these in this country anymore?  I figure all that shit was outsourced years ago) who is tasked with investigating the cause of a horrifying accident, it is a story of corporate greed, corruption, and why people REALLY should be more afraid of being in airplanes.  It’s mired in corporate speak, but Crichton takes you through it.  He loves to have little digressions to talk about whatever subject matter is in his books.  Partly to help you understand, and partly because he clearly wants to show off how much research he did to write them.  This book is among the best in this genre, and if you aren’t afraid of flying, it will help with that.

6. Pirate Latitudes
When I was given this book, 1st Edition, for Christmas one year, I was unsure what to think.  A historical fiction book by Michael Crichton?  I mean, Timeline was great and all, but this just seems a little outlandish.  Then I started to read, and all my doubts evaporated.  Telling the story of a privateer who is given a task to raid an island that has equal parts danger and opportunity, this story is mired in Crichton’s ability to show off his research, and the adventure factor of a great pirate story.  It genuinely shocked me how good this book is.  These characters and their adventure feels so grounded in what could actually happen.  It doesn’t have the rosy view of pirates.  No, these people are gross, immoral people.  But Crichton has a gift at making those you shouldn’t like feel so fun to get to know.  A trip to the high seas you won’t forget.

5. Sphere
This novel is a little bit different.  Instead of Crichton showcasing his research, he wanted to show off his ability to use mood and setting to his advantage.  Telling the story of a man who once made a plan on how to deal with first contact with aliens, he gets a chance to do just that as a craft has been discovered at the bottom of the ocean.  What follows is a supremely suspenseful novel about terror at the bottom of the sea, and a device that has powers that defy all comprehension.  Crichton is able to make the deep ocean seem more threatening than anyone though possible.  Telling a story with tons of The Abyss before that film was a thing, it’s a novel to make your skin crawl.

4. Disclosure
This novel really seemed ahead of its time, looking at where we are now in terms of gender politics.  Combining a VERY touchy subject with his corporate espionage style, this novel tells the story of a man who works for a computer company.  A woman is hired that he used to be involved with.  After she tries to make a move on him and he rejects her, she comes after him with a sexual harassment suit.  From there, he does something that would be ballsy even to this day – files a sexual harassment suit right back, getting a lawyer who is a big-time feminist.  Taking on the concept of gender politics in the time when this was written could EASILY have blown up in his face, but Crichton doesn’t back down from his perspective.  He shows that it is possible for women to abuse their power and sexuality as a man, along with be corrupt and vile.  He doesn’t shy away from the implications.  It’s a daring novel, and I think that it has more relevance now than it did when it came out.

3. The Andromeda Strain
The novel that helped put Crichton on the map.  The first work of his to be adapted to film, and probably the only one done right.  This story was revolutionary for its time, and it has aged exceptionally well.  It takes the perspective that what if alien life that comes to our world isn’t some big monster, but rather something so small that you can’t see it with the naked eye?  A probe crashed back to Earth after having gone to find alien life, and it came back with something in tow.  An alien pathogen that kills the entirety of a small town.  Now, a group of some of the best scientists in the world comes together to try and figure out how to stop it.  This novel is tense.  The process of learning about this infection and what it is will leave you on the edge of your seat.  It’s a mind-bender, to say the least, and I am still shocked by it even to this day, because of how it takes concepts from time gone by and takes the next step in terms of technology.  A first contact story unlike any other.

2. Jurassic Park
Definitely the most famous of Crichton’s books.  A novel that tells the story of an eccentric billionaire who used cloning to create an island full of dinosaurs.  However, there are several things about the novel that separate it from the movie and make it far better.  For starters, this novel builds up the reality of dinosaurs existing in a way that the film doesn’t.  It’s a process of the world getting hints about them, only for a small team of people to be given the full reveal.  Not only that, but it looks at the creatures themselves, and what they would be like.  This isn’t just some monster movie.  It’s a tale about animals from 65 million years ago being brought back to life, thrown in the mix with mankind.  It’s a story where survivors are trying to get everything sorted out, and learn what they are up against.  The parts of the story examining what these animals are are fascinating.  It’s a shame the film didn’t take the time to really dive into that.  But you gotta entertain the dim-witted American audience (I do like the movie, by the way.  However, my point stands).  Not nearly as violent and creature-feature as the film, with some amazing science every step of the way.

And my favorite of Crichton’s books is…

1. Prey
Some of you saw this coming if I have any readers who read my post about my top 10 favorite books.  Not only is this my favorite book by Crichton, it’s my favorite book of all time.  This is him at his best.  Him taking real science and going the next step the way that only Crichton could.  It’s a nightmarish, fascinating, tense story about a corporate that creates nanomachines and how swarms of them get out into the wild.  Now, an out of work father who wrote the code that these machines are governed by has to get back into it, to solve the mystery of what his wife was doing away from home, and to save the family he has worked so hard to cultivate.  This book is a masterpiece, plain and simple.  It has Crichton showing his research like never before.  Though, if you find that stuff self-indulgent, you will hate this book.  There are long sections where he gets into some scientific or philosophical concepts and will carry that on for some time.  It’s pretty great stuff.  These machines, how they are created, and what they become, is a story that will have you spellbound, turning pages like it’s nobody’s business to get to the end.

What are some of your favorites?  Let me know in the Comments.

Until next time, a quote,

“They didn’t know what they were doing.  Sometimes I wonder if that will be humanity’s epitaph.” – Jack Forman, Prey

Peace out,

Maverick

SIONR: Cal-Arts Students and Teachers Insult Don Bluth

My first introduction to the animation director Don Bluth was The Land Before Time.  I had it on VHS, and I watched that so many times it wasn’t funny.  There are still some warm memories that come to mind as I think back on it.  The days of my childhood, when I didn’t have to worry endlessly about my finances and my future.  Doesn’t help that I live in a country without universal healthcare, because it’s full of retards who believe that it magically wouldn’t work here.  You know, while it is working in every other 1st World nation.  Idiots.  I remember Littlefoot’s mother dying, and how that made me tear up.  Didn’t help that that film had an incredible score to accentuate the scene.

Later on, I came to Don Bluth’s absolute masterpiece – The Secret of NIMH.  The tale of Mrs. Brisby and her mission to save her son and her family.  It’s a heart-warming story.  For all the SJWs bitching about the lack of strong female characters, I don’t hear her name come up much.  I guess because she’s a mouse, she isn’t a strong mother who is able to face her fear of circumstances much larger than herself and a mission with no guarantee of success that takes her everywhere she doesn’t want to be.  That’s not strong at all.

So when I came upon this little nugget on Twitter, needless to say, it kinda pissed me off.

Are you fucking kidding me right now?!  “cheesy out-dated overflowy animation”?!  Did I read that right?!  Oh yeah, because the shit we have now is SO much better.  Like this shit!

What’s that, you ask?  Why, that’s the new Thundercats design for the reboot cartoon!  Yeah, because that doesn’t look like a massive pile of shit.  It blows my mind that in universities, people actually believe that a living animation God is outdated and worthy or ridicule.  Kinda hurts, too.  Look at that crap above you.  That’s the kind of animation that gets praised in the modern world.  Garbage by Steven Universe loving chodes!

It kinda kills me that 2D animation has died in this country.  At least in film.  I think back to Don Bluth and old-school Disney.  Fantasia is one of my favorite movies.  It turned me on to both classical music and 2D animation.  Walt Disney originally wanted it to be a series that would keep growing and evolving.  There was a sequel, and while it was fine and all, it wasn’t at the same level as the original.  It felt like there was something missing.  The success of Pixar and this STUPID attitude that the dumb-shit public has about 3D animation being more grown-up than 2D led to Disney eventually ditching their 2D animation studios.  How many people can even do anything approaching the level of depth and detail that Bluth was able to have in all of his movies.  Even the bad ones.

Which brings me to the fact that Bluth wasn’t perfect.  After All Dogs Go to Heaven, he had a run of VERY weird and pretty bad movies that were some of the funniest fodder for The Nostalgia Critic, back when that was still funny.  But to say that the man’s style is out-dated and “overflowy” (what the fuck does that even mean?) just hurts me inside.  Of course it is.  Because why should we value really deep and detailed art, when we can make crap like Thundercats Roar, that looks worse than old Scooby-Doo cartoons.  You know, when they were made on the budget of a ham sandwich.

In this age when everyone has to be so holier-than-thou, it really is telling that this attitude has seeped its way into universities.  Kinda breaks my heart.  Just a little.  It’s a sign that the true greatness of 2D animation is never coming back.  What I wouldn’t give for someone with some level of ambition to really try and do something great with it.  It’s a dream I will have for the rest of my life.

Until next time, a quote,

“Courage of the heart is very rare.  The stone has a power when it’s there.” – Nicodemus, The Secret of NIMH

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Bitch About Games Not Being Happy for LGBT People! (A response to Kotaku)

I am genuinely not surprised what a giant pile of shit Kotaku is.  It was started under Gawker, so it should have surprised no one.  But every time I see their articles I am reminded of all the bad things about modern “games journalism.”  It’s a joke, and the punch like is that someone, somewhere, takes this shit seriously.  Who this person is and why is a complete mystery to me.  So when I saw an article with the title “Let Queer Characters Be Happy,” my groaning senses immediately were blaring.  I thought for a while I’d just let this stupid shit lie, because it’s more click-bait for SJWs so they can be reaffirmed why video games are awful.  Even though I guarantee that almost nobody who reads this shit and takes it seriously has ever actually played on.  Here’s a link to this bullshit article, now let’s get started.

When The Last Of Us Part II’s new trailer debuted at this year’s E3, protagonist Ellie enjoyed a slow dance and kiss with another woman. My queer friends and I confessed to one another that we were assuming the worst. That happy girl will probably die, because while games allow us to be many things—space marines, mages, and tenacious heroes—they rarely allow queer people to be happy.

Assuming the worst was a safe assumption.  That was mine as well.  I figure that the motivation behind Ellie being willing to go down the violent path that I get the feeling she has tried to escape is the death of India lesbian.

Oh, and boo-fucking-hoo about “they rarely allow queer people to be happy.”  Yeah, because Joel was SO happy in the last game.  Seeing his daughter die in front of him, scared and crying, which broke him inside to the point that he locked his humanity away for fear of being hurt like that again.  Yeah, he had a great time.  Life was all buttercups and rainbows for that mother-fucker.  If I didn’t know that all of this crap was just to get SJW brownie points for how “woke” you are, I’d think you are idiots.

Queer people struggle, as do our intersectional allies. The news is full of horrible daily reminders to all marginalized people that their lives and comfort exist largely at the whim of the privileged. That means bakeries refusing to make your wedding cake or laws meant to keep you out of restrooms.

That struggle has been fetishized by media and is one of the defining traits for queer characters in media. Video games have included more queer characters in recent years—Dorian in Dragon Age: Inquisition, Ellie in The Last of Us, Veronica Santangelo in Fallout: New Vegas and countless others—but all of their stories are tragic. Their partners and lovers are killed. Their families disown or shun them. They seem to be magnets for catastrophe. Rarely do their stories end in comfort, either from others or the larger world in which they live. We have more gays, trans-people, bisexuals, and others games than ever before. Yet we, comparatively, also have more of their corpses.

Fetishized?  What bullshit.  In all of those games that you list, the death or tragedy of their lives is painted as a bad thing.  When it it ever meant to be literal or emotional wank-material?  I hated the death of Riley in the DLC to The Last of Us, but that’s because when you listen to Ellie explain it, it wasn’t some big uplifting speech.  It was two girls who didn’t know what to do.  Ironically enough, I liked the original game’s portrayal of her dying better.  Because it felt like a real kid.  These girls are 13-14 years old.  They are NOT some big uplifting heroes.  The game painted Ellie as a normal teenage girl stuck in incredibly difficult circumstances.  It’s part of why I like her.

In that DLC, Riley is this amazing MLK-esque character who turns what should have been the tragedy that set Ellie on the path of self-destruction and watching the people she cares for die into a big “it’s gonna be okay” moment.  I hated that.  Meanwhile, in the actual game, Ellie paints the story as two girls in a place confused, scared, resigned to their fate.  They were going to “just lose our minds together.”  It’s tragic and depressing.  So yeah, Riley died, but if you go off the DLC, it was a magical and uplifting moment.  What are you bitching about?

It’s interesting that you complain about real life having reminders of things being difficult for LGBT people.  I don’t know if you were aware of this, but art mimics life, despite what Anita Sarkeesian likes to believe about it being the other way around.  So, since the real world has hurdles for them to overcome, so it is in the gaming world.  What a shock!

Not to mention that, once-again, this is another instance of me saying that if you want a game that is buttercups and rainbows for gay people, what’s stopping you from making it?  Do tell, what is preventing you from doing it?  Don’t know how to make games?  Learn.  Don’t know how to publish games?  Learn that Steam exists.  You all were able to get a house-cleaning simulator out to market, so one of you SJW fucks should be able to do this.  You want a game where it’s a magical utopia where Sarkeesian is on a pedestal and LGBT people are treated like they are princes among men?  Go out and make it, you complaining fuck!

They go on and on with example of how sad stories are represented with LGBT characters, so I’m going to jump back to where they make a point.  If you want to go through every example, you can read the article.  I have the same refutation for all of them, so it will make this simple for you here.

Tragedy often serves as a backstory for straight characters in role playing games, too. Party members of all backgrounds hide hidden pasts and personal struggles that the player can learn about and solve. But where the mighty Krogan warrior Wrex might rise to lead his species, and the dwarf Varric Thetras ascend to nobility, queer characters’ happy endings often end up being as romance options for the player. We are, more often than not, unsaveable unless we are fuckable, and even that is up to the player.

Wow.  So much to talk about here.  For starters, you talk about the shuttle pilot Cortez and how his story is focused around the death of his husband.  I actually despise the romance option for male Shepherd because he goes form grieving husband to immediately wanting to jump your bones.  Instead, let’s take a look at the story with Femshep.  There, you have a diligent Commander (which I most-assuredly am) working to help an ally and new friend get through his grief for his lost spouse.  In the end, it solidifies their relationship, both as commander and subordinate, and friends.  Plus, you helping him get through his personal issues saves his life on the final mission.  And my hatred of everything after the Victory Fleet goes to Earth aside, that seems like a damn good end to a story where they are “unsaveable unless we are fuckable”.  Fuck this smug hipster who wrote this shit.

What are you looking for?  A character who is an idyllic monarch of gay pride who leads the gay people on a gay as fuck revolution to glory?  It’s ironic that you list Wrex from Mass Effect on there, since him rising to glory is also something that depends entirely on the player!  You could have killed him when you have a standoff during the Virmire mission.  You could have destroyed the data on the Genophage cure in Mordin’s loyalty mission, which would lead to Eve’s death, which is crucial to him becoming a savior as she helps to rally the other clans under Wrex’s banner.  You also could kill Mordin, sabotaging the Genophage cure that is what saves the Krogan people from destruction.  All of his rise to glory is on you!  The player!  So what’s that bitching about all of this being at the mercy of the player?!  Pure bullshit?  That’s what I thought.

Games that include queer romance sometimes even place the success of that romance in competition with the success of society as a whole. In Life is Strange, teenager Max Caulfield saves her childhood friend Chloe after unlocking the ability to manipulate time. Throughout the rest of the game’s episodes, the two women get closer and closer, and the budding seeds of romance bloom between them. But Chloe already has lost one lover before the game even begins. Life Is Strange revolves around the search for Chloe’s missing girlfriend Rachel Amber. That search uncovers a string of sexual abuse and murder in the town of Arcadia Bay, with Rachel as one of the victims. After uncovering her body, Chloe gets killed by the culprit. That’s two dead gays for the price of one.

Oh fuck off!  Leaving aside that Max’s ENTIRE GOAL for the latter portion of Episode 5 is to save Chloe’s life (they ignore context like it’s the plague.  The Kotaku formula), this is just like that fucking “Dead Lesbian Syndrome” video that BuzzFeed made.  Yeah, Rachel Amber was dead.  It is tragic.  But you ignore several crucial facts leading up to this.  First, we never definitively know that the two of them were a thing.  It’s implied, heavily, but you never know.  Not to mention, we find out in Episode 3 that if they were a thing, Rachel Amber was cheating on her with the drug dealer, Frank.  And lying to her about it.  Oh wait, can’t talk about that.  Then you have a character who has flaws and shouldn’t be put on a pedestal.  My bad.

Yet, even when Max alters reality to save her friend or bring her happiness, Chloe suffers. In an alternate timeline where Max prevents Chloe’s father from dying, Chloe ends up in a car crash and is paraplegic. In this timeline, Chloe begs Max to euthanize her; the story shuts down both disabled and queer people’s right to happiness in one fell swoop.

Fuck this stupid article.  What a way to miss the fucking point!  The point of what made the death of Chloe in the alternate timeline Max created tragic.  This wasn’t about LGBT romance, you fuckers!  It was about Max fucking up her friend’s life again and again.  It’s talked about in Episode 5.  See, Max has fucked up Chloe’s life a lot.  She watches her die at the very beginning of Episode 1.  It’s what sets off her powers.  In Episode 2, you can have her shoot the bumper of a car, which causes her to shoot herself, forcing you to go back in time to save her again.  In that same episode, you have to stop a train from hitting her.  Which leads us to Episode 4, where she has created an entirely new timeline, specifically to make Chloe happy by not having her dad die, and finds out that this fucked up either her friend or her budding romantic partner’s life even more!  The tragedy in having to help Chloe die is in Max realizing that she has destroyed this girl’s life over and over again, only to go back to try and fix it.  In the end, she realizes that she can’t save keep doing this.  That all of these trips back through time are destroying her.

Just once, I wish that Kotaku would actually pay attention.  But no.  They have to get their talking points down so that they can stand in judgement over us EVIL gamers and the games we play.  I just know they’re going to talk about the ending, so let’s get to it.  Here I might find at least SOME common ground with them.

In a timeline in which Max prevents Chloe’s murder, a massive hurricane barrels down on Arcadia Bay instead. The pair conclude that the storm is an anomaly created in response to Max’s time-traveling. The final choice is to either sacrifice the town or to travel back in time and allow Chloe to die.

Narratively, the choice feels empty. Max’s personal growth up to this point revolved around a growing understanding of her place in society and learning to accept consequences for her actions.

I could not agree more!  I do hate the ending to Episode 5.  It is worse than the ending to Mass Effect 3.  None of your choices matter in the slightest, because either you negate ALL of them by having Chloe die, or they don’t matter because everyone is dead.  It was the laziest fucking way to end a choice-based game since Mass Effect 3.  Hell, it was lazier than that.  At least that game gave you 3 nonsensical choices that throw all your choices in the trash.  This game gave you two.  I wrote an entire post about how I would have ended things (link here), and while it isn’t perfect, at least I included SOME kind of choice-based resolution to the game.

The Last of Us focuses on the frailty of society and individuals, both morally and in the flesh. It makes sense that the characters would endure loss. Joel copes with the death of his daughter and his grief over his inability to protect her; he gravitates to Ellie, who serves as a surrogate child and a bittersweet balm for his prior loss. In the end, he gets what he wants — to serve the Hero Dad role — although it comes at the expense of many lives and lies.

What a way to miss the point.  Miss EVERYTHING that made the ending to The Last of Us so powerful.  The ending to that game isn’t some happy ending for him.  It’s bittersweet as fuck.  If you can’t see why, I shall explain.  Joel sold humanity up the river to save the only person left who matters to him.  His connection to the human condition.  You saw how his own brother and him are so estranged.  This one life, this one little life who has become his connection to the human condition, is worth selling all of humanity up the river to maintain.

In the end, he had to lie to Ellie about why he left the Fireflies base, because he knew that Marlene was right.  Ellie would want to give her life to save humanity.  What made their final conversation so powerful was in him accepting his cost, that last of his vestige of humanity, to preserve this relationship.  But it was also about Ellie accepting her cost.  She chose to accept his lie, knowing that it was a lie.  She could see all over his face that he was lying to her, but chose to accept that because she wasn’t just his surrogate daughter.  He is her surrogate father.  The one relationship that will last.  Because she found what Joel had back in the diner.  When she hacked David to pieces, she found that darkness that Joel had embraced, and since now she couldn’t give her life to escape it, she had to live with it.

I love the end of that game so much because of the moral and philosophical implications, and you just sweep it under the fucking rug as a story of Joel being the “hero dad.”  Fuck you, you single-digit IQ hipster.

I want these queer characters to have happy endings, or at least different ones. Hell, I’d settle for kisses that don’t portend death. And I still love the stories that I have, imperfect and tragic though they may be. BioWare’s cast of heroes provide examples of bravery and humility that I strive to emulate. Life is Strange’s tender romance captures a sense of early sexual awakening. The Last of Us’ Ellie is a goddamn survivor. All of that is fantastic, but it comes at a price. That price, often, is the agency and happiness of queer characters.

Does the writer of this article not know that these people aren’t real?  This is why I said that this feels like the video from BuzzFeed.  Because it reads like this person can’t separate fiction from reality in her mind.  Want these characters to have a happy ending?  Fantastic, there’s millions of fan-fiction sites that I’m sure have some happy endings for them.  Hell, read my post about how I would have ended Life is Strange.  There’s a happy ending for ya!  Instead of respecting the artistic integrity of those who create fiction, you have to bitch about it not being happy enough for you.  Well guess what, sugar-tits, you can go and find your happy ending or make it yourself on you Fanfiction.net or your Deviant Art page.

But why do we have to pay that price, and so often? I’m not suggesting that the queers should always get to dance in a field of gumdrops at the end of every game in which they appears, but considering the real world’s continued eagerness to trample the marginalized, one of the most radical things art could do right now would be to show us a world in which we are more than our suffering.

“More than our suffering”?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Is that all you see them as?!  You only see Chloe Price as suffering because her *potential* girlfriend died?  You only see Ellie as sad because of her dead girlfriend?  Wow.  What an insult to all the character traits that they had.  If that is all you see them as, that’s on you, honey.  I see Chloe Price as a tragic character, to be sure, but that’s because she’s had a rough life.  Her father died.  Her best friend deserted her.  The girl that she cared for more than any other and saved her potentially from suicide disappeared.  It’s what makes the dynamic better and her and Max reconnect and awaken new feelings into each other.  It’s why I hate the bullshit ending to the game so much because the choices make no difference.

But all of this comes right back to what I said before – if you want gay happy endings for characters, then go out and make it.  Make a game with a Star Trek utopia where gay people are treated as absolutely perfect because of their gayness.  I don’t fucking care.  But STOP bitching about things that you clearly only see as “there’s dead characters in the group I like!”  There is NOTHING stopping you from making the games you want to see.  How about you quit bitching on this SJW rag and get to work?

Until next time, a quote,

“Those who can’t do teach, and those who can’t teach teach gym.” – Dewey Finn, School of Rock

Peace out,

Maverick

The Pretentiousness of Argument in Gaming Culture

I swear, this is the last I’m going to talk about this.  I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone is just going to like what they like and hate what they hate and there isn’t shit that anyone can do about it.  It just strikes me as so bizarre how we’ve gotten to this point.  Back during the rise of SJW culture in gaming, and the backlash to it, I observed people from all corners of the Internet coming together to fight for our hobby.  We wanted good games made, not their games.  Not the games that they slobbered on the knob of when they didn’t deserve that praise.

Then something got happened.  Come November, I’m going to be 30.  My 20’s will be behind me and I get to face the reality that I haven’t made much of a future for myself and I don’t really know what I want to do with my life, aside from get out of the icebox and make my way to the ocean.  It’s all I think about, most days.  The older I’ve gotten, the more I care about stories with good characters, rather than complicated mechanics.  Sure, if the mechanics suck I’m going to hate it, but it’s all about the story.  I’ve always been a story-seeker, but it’s gotten more and more contingent on that as I have gotten older.

Why am I bringing this up for the…I don’t know how many-ith times?  I came across a graphic that just bugs me.  I’m going to share it with you and see if you all can see the problem.

So now we have a graphic created by people who want to tell you why, no matter what your choice, what you like sucks.  This shit pisses me off on so many levels.  The people who wanted to keep SJW culture out of gaming have decided to become the very people they rallied against.  The pretentious assholes who have to tell everyone how what they like is wrong and how they need to change to be what they want.  Let’s talk about this one section at a time.

Neofun

As they describe it, these are games that only appeal to the lowest common denominator.  For CoD and Battlefield, I can see that.  They are games about a simple rush.  The adrenaline of multiplayer combat.  But since when is Angry Birds for the lowest common denominator?  It’s a phone game.  The game you play when you’re taking a dump or waiting at the doctor’s office.  That’s for the lowest common denominator?  Same with Candy Crush.  Not to mention, we have statistical data that the kinds of games that appeal to women the most are social media or phone games.  This ties in nicely with your second contention.

Gameplay simplified to the point that your “average retard” doesn’t have to feel challenged.  Wow.  That’s kinda sexist.  You’re literally taking an entire demographic and associating them with being stupid.  I just love that this is the contention that this graphic that some dipshit created has made.  Not to mention, for adults who don’t like regular gaming but want something to do in their spare time, you’re going to call them stupid.  Every time people say that anti-SJWs are as bad as their counterparts, this is the shit that comes to my mind.

Then they claim that these games are not fun, but “peer pressure” has told people that they are.  Who the fuck are you to tell people what is and isn’t fun?  What are your brilliant credentials in fun-ology that lets you know what is fun for one person and isn’t for another?  And why is it that we are supposed to just accept your stupid bullshit at face value?  Dying to know, online culture critics.

Nu-fun

The first contention here is that these games are literally the same as the Neofun games, but try to hide it.  Again, who the fuck are you to declare that?  The Witcher 3 is the same as CoD: Black Ops IIII?  Really?  By what metric?  I mean yeah, FNaF is kind of silly, but people dig the jump scare stuff.  It’s the same reason that jump scare horror movies are so popular.  I may also believe that it’s silly and the appreciation for horror that has atmosphere has died, but seeing this, I at least am able to appreciate people just liking what they like.  Clearly there’s a market for it.

It goes on to claim that the only reason people like these things is because of unwarranted praise online.  Well then, infographic, tell me what was so terrible about The Witcher 3.  Tell me what was so bad about Fallout: New Vegas.  I’m genuinely curious what was so bad about Undertale.  If these are the contentions that are going to be made, I want to know why.

You claim that these games take no actual skill and are played by people who don’t want to be lumped into the casual crowd.  It takes no skill to be good at the three games I listed above?  The only person who thinks that way is someone who never played them.  And once-again, you say that people are being tricked into a “false sense of fun.”  Who the fucks are you to say that?!  What is your definition of fun, sir?!  Tell us unworthy philistines what REAL fun is.  All fucking ears.

Also, I couldn’t help but notice that Cyberpunk 2077 and Death Stranding are on there.  Two games that haven’t even come out yet.  I don’t know.  Maybe this person is a troll.  We’ll get to my thoughts on why we are here talking about this in a bit.

Soyfun

This is the category that just pisses me off.  A new type of “none-fun”?  Groj, why do people feel shit like this?  During E3 I got to see this kind of crap all over Twitter.  It was basically a giant “fuck this stuff” circle-jerk.  Is it because there are characters that are unique?  I’m curious, what was so “none-fun” in the new God of War and Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End?  Both games had tight controls, fun combat, and in the cast of the latter game – good sneaking mechanics.  Or maybe it was the focus on a narrative over the gameplay.  Is that it?  Is it just because games are now bigger on stories than ever before?  Cry me a fucking river, you big baby!  All of the talk of “manchildren” in this one, but the only person I see being a baby here is you.

It contends that “too much soy intake” has made men effeminate and now we only get enjoyment from “pushing liberal values” and waxing nostalgia.  Wow.  And of course, we see The Last of Us: Part II on here.  Why?  It’s obvious – because it has two chicks sucking face in the most recent trailer.  The game can’t be good if there are lesbians!  Fuck liberal values!  Granted, I have my own thoughts about being gay in the post-apocalypse, but that’s a whole other discussion for another thing because if a game wants to make that part of its reality, that’s fine by me, so long as the game is good.  It’s funny, because in that game, we see the gameplay is violent and you get to slit throats, chop heads, and disembowel people, along with blowing them up with exploding arrows.  Where’s the “liberal values” in that?  Growing up, everyone I knew associated liberalism with hippy mentality.  Although, I cannot count how many SJWs I see say violence should be a solution, so maybe I am just old-fashioned in this regard.

The post then makes the argument that these games require no kind of skills of any kind to be able to play.  Really?  If we’re going to make the argument that mechanically simple games are for the soyboys, then why aren’t the “walking simulator” games on here?  Whoever made this was just looking to strike cheap points of “yeah, fuck these liberal losers!” and didn’t care about the factual inaccuracy of what they were saying.

Maybe I am REALLY overthinking an online meme, but I have seen all over Twitter how this kind of thinking gets around.  There are people who believe this way, and it is so frustrating because it’s like all everyone knows how to do is bitch and moan about every stupid thing that conflicts with what they want on any level.  All of online discourse is just assholes bitching about things they don’t like.  It gets to be insufferable.

This really is the last I am going to be talking about this.  Why?  Because I am fucking done with the culture surrounding gaming.  I have finally come to the realization that I would rather have everyone just like the shit they like and leave everyone else the fuck alone.  So long as what you like isn’t hurting anyone, you do you, boo.  I’m going to continue my reviews and the like, but gaming culture and I have reached an impasse and I think that I am going to walk away from the discourse.  Hopefully you all will stick around here to keep reading what I do.  It’s so frustrating seeing how everyone just likes to hate on everything everywhere I look.  Whatever.

So you know what – if you liked Gone Home, then good on you!  You like that game that games journalism blew WAY out of proportion.  I liked Everybody’s Gone to the Rapture, so I can’t complain.  So long as what you like doesn’t hurt anyone or you don’t try and forcibly change people’s opinions with bullshit arguments, then you do you, honey.

Until next time, a quote,

“Haters gonna hate.” – Anonymous

Peace out,

Maverick

The Death of Nuance in Gaming Culture

Everywhere I look, I feel more and more at odds with the nerd culture.  E3 was the best example.  Sony’s press conference had me getting to see some pretty awesome trailers.  Their choice to make their four biggest draws into not trailers but full on gameplay demos was fantastic!  It had me on the edge of my seat.  First there was Ghost of Tsushima.  A game that looks like the perfect homage to samurai culture.  I’ve been DYING for a game like this for so long.  Ever since a brilliant artist did an idea for an Assassin’s Creed game set in Japan.  Now it’s happening!  Except not tied to that franchise.

Next up there was The Last of Us: Part II.  Here’s where I felt my experience waver.  See, I know that Neil Druckmann has this HUGE chip on his shoulder when it comes to social justice.  He takes what Anita Sarkeesian says very seriously.  I’ve been replaying Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End, and it’s there as well.  But that doesn’t stop him from writing good stuff.  It’s a balancing act in my eyes.  See, I don’t hate something with a social justice bend so long as the narrative is engaging and the characters are good.  And since this is a sequel to one of my favorite games of all time, the pressure certainly is on here.

So when I saw this game had a LONG opening segment that goes all post-apocalyptic 90210 on me, it rubbed me the wrong way.  Especially when the trailer has all the diversity of a college campus.  And the girl that Ellie starts sucking face with is more and more reminding me of Sarkeesian herself.  Which has me wondering if this character is written so he can fanboy all over her.  That’s…weird, and off-putting.  It keeps taking me out of the moment of actually liking the trailer.

Then we get to the gameplay stuff and hot damn is it back to form!  Granted, the person playing is a fucking idiot who should be dropping their enemies to keep them from raising the alarm, but whatever.

We then get to the trailer that had me really at odds with everyone in nerd culture that I follow on Twitter – Death Stranding.  I really loved that trailer.  It showed me the world, elements of play, and gave me some neat insight into the characters.  I got to see new characters be introduced and I learned about the world.  Then there was that tense bit with the shadow creatures that reminded me of The Sorrow boss battle and I was stoked.  But that’s not what I saw online.

Person after person bitching and moaning about how this trailer told them nothing and how they don’t know how to feel.  I fucking lost it.  Where is the appreciation of nuance with these mother-fuckers?!  Oh my god, they didn’t spoon-feed how you’re supposed to feel about this new game!  Say it isn’t so!  You actually have to think about it and come to your own conclusions!  The horror!  Fuck me! People posting on Twitter mocking both the trailer and Kojima himself because they weren’t given something that told them everything.

Everyone seems to believe that this game is giving them another Metal Gear type of game, and if they don’t get it then they are sad.  But it might not.  Kojima has said that this game doesn’t start a super-badass action hero.  It stars a normal man who is in way over his head in crazy circumstance, but he stays a normal man.  It strikes me that because of Kojima’s reputation, everyone is hoping for something and not being open to what this game may end up being.  It may be a game where you do little to no fighting at all.  You may have to hide.  Or it may be a narrative-focused game where the goal of gameplay is in exploring the world.  But the mystery is there, and it’s part of why I am still super stoked.  Because this could be anything and I think that’s exciting.

But it seems I’m in a minority on that.  Everywhere I look it’s people wanting to be spoon-fed.  Or they just want something to get them pumped.  Having to think about something critically?  Fuck that!  I want my nerdgasm!  Part of me wishes Sony had chosen to end on that, just so all the troglodytes in there got to walk out feeling like someone had pissed in their coffee.

So many people screaming Bethesda’s praises from the hills.  I am not among them.  The only thing in their little conference that even appeals to me is the sequel to the excellent DOOM game.  That has me pumped.  Everyone else was dead weight in my eyes.  Then Nintendo takes the stage and it’s “SMASH BROS!  YAY!” all over the goddamn place.  I…I don’t care about that.  I stopped following Nintendo pretty closely a long time ago.  I can only play the same game but with more shit so many times before I start to realize that their formula doesn’t ever change.  But I guess that’s what people want.  If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, I guess?  I’m sure there’s some nuance there that people will accuse me of missing.

“They’re not the same games!  The new Legend of Zelda was open world!”  What’s that?  So Wind Waker just didn’t happen?  Okay.  “But Lucien, more characters!”  Neat.  That looks interesting, I suppose.  But it’s the same game.  New characters, new stages, but that’s it.  I guess it’s supposed to be a system seller.  I can see that.  Nintendo seems to have enough fanboys around.

I just feel like I’m missing something here.  Like, everywhere I turn I see myself at odds with what the prevailing thought is.  I was more engaged with Sony’s offerings than anyone else’s because the games looked interesting and they took the quality over quantity approach with their big hitters.  I wanted to see big demos that showed off and they delivered.  But there’s everyone hating it.  Bethesda releases trailers that are basically just nerdgasm fuel, and everyone loses it.  Sure, I felt myself getting kinda pumped for the DOOM sequel.  It’s on Earth now, which is fun.  Though that does leave me wondering what happened back on Mars, since the guy told me at the end he would be seeing me again.  Still, cool, I guess.

Maybe this is me getting older.  I just don’t feel the draw to hype fuel.  I’d rather see what I’m getting into and really feel some sense of attachment to it.  It’s how I can stomach the 90210 shit in The Last of Us: Part II trailer, because I know that Neil Druckmann might have a chip on his shoulder but he still can write good stuff and I want to know if he does it again.  I game for stories.  It’s all care about.  Sure, if the gameplay sucks, I can’t get into it, but the story is what everything hinges on.  I don’t care how good the gameplay is, if the story sucks, I hate it.  It’s why I REALLY didn’t like Rise of the Tomb Raider, even though its gameplay improves upon the previous game.  The story was boring and the villains were stupid.

Or perhaps it comes down to me being the analytical type.  I love to dissect things, both what I love and what I hate.  I could go on and on about the things I like for hours, or how much the things I hate suck ass.  It’s part of the fun for me, because when things are good, I mean really good, it gives me such a healthy appreciation for the craftsmanship that goes into them and being able to revel in that final product.  Or if there is something that is really good but still has its flaws, it gives me a greater appreciation for what it does right and I can laugh at the parts that don’t work and think about how it could be improved upon.  Over-thinking is something I am guilty of, but that’s part of the fun in my eyes.

But I’m starting to realize that I am in a minority here.  A very lonely minority.  I see nuance and get excited over mysteries.  I don’t like to be spoon-fed things and come to my own conclusions (another part of why I hated the 90210 shit.  Because it felt like Druckmann was trying to score SJW points since their opinion matters to him).  I don’t get the nerdgasm anymore.  Now I get the more reserved sense of excitement wondering what I’ll learn next.

What do you all think?  Let me know in the Comments

Until next time, a quote,

“The worst thing to be is all alone with other people.” – Quinn Pierce

Peace out,

Maverick