Get a “Yes” Every Ten Minutes During Sex, or Else It’s Rape!

That’s what students in California are being taught, anyway.  That’s right, in an age where even the act of giving birth is considered rape (seriously, check this link out.  It will blow your mind), there will come a day when I honestly believe that some SJW chucklefuck is going to come out and say that vaginal penetration of any kind is rape.  Oh, wait, that’s already happened!  Now we have your tax dollars going to telling the youth of the future that if they don’t get a verbal yes at least every ten minutes, it’s rape.  Don’t believe me?!  Here’s a link to an article which goes into it!

I cannot believe that I live in an age where we have decided to eschew intimacy or being able to read your partner’s body language in favor of now a constant stream of verbal recognition of the act of sex being okay.  Hey, ladies, if you are getting hot and heavy with a guy, do you want him to continually interrupt to make sure you still want sex?  Yeah, that seems like a great time.  A girly-mate of mine I used to livestream with had this great rebuttal to this line of thinking – “if I’m having sex with someone and he keeps asking if I consent, I’m gonna tell him to get the fuck out.”

Part of me wants that app to come back.  You remember the one?  Where both parties verbally acknowledge consent of sex before having it?  So when the girl comes back later and says that it’s rape the accused would have it on record that she consented.  Because the world we live in now is one where men are always seen as the potential predator.  If the man doesn’t constantly get proof that the other party wants it, he is an animal.  Not only that, but even if he does do this, the woman can STILL come back later and say that he raped her!  I am not some MRA douche, but for the love of Groj, this is ridiculous.  I am so tired of men being treated like amoral animals who are one not getting a “yes” away from being a rapist.

You notice that this shit isn’t being said to girls?  What if the girl wanted to fuck?  Is she then required to get a verbal “yes” every ten minutes?  Well then, that means at least three of the women I have had sex with raped me!  Because they were the ones who initiated the intimate contact, so I guess that means I was the victim of rape.  Except, oh, wait, I wasn’t!  Because they could tell that I was into their sexual contact!  Just like I could read their body language and knew them well enough to know where their limits were.  But no, let’s just treat every man like they are a potential sexual predator while women are the victims.  Of course they are.  Had a feminist come into the comments of a post I linked above who totally agrees with that assertion.

The thing that bugs me most about this, besides how it vilifies one gender while placing the other on a goddamn pedestal, is the fact that we are now canonizing it in high school.  We are canonizing making students dumber!  In a time where our youth are more and more disconnected from subtlety and nuance, we are now saying “fuck body language, fuck intimacy, you need all sexual interaction to be overt to the point of stupidity.”  Hey, teenage girls in California – your schools actually think you are too stupid to be able to communicate if you are uncomfortable in a way that your partner can understand clearly.

But I can already hear the counter-argument – this is for the girls who are too afraid to say something!  Body language, you dumb fucks!  Not to mention, do you know whose not going to care if their partner is trying to signal them being uncomfortable?  Rapists!  For all the teenage boys who take this bullshit to heart, the person who actually wants to force themselves on a girl are not going to give one dusty fuck even if she says no.  I just don’t understand what the purpose of this exercise in futility is for.

Hell, that same article even makes the argument that when a girl says yes, it might still be no!  There is no winning with these fucking people!  And you know what the grand result of this sort of education is going to be?  Boys are going to stop trying to have sex with girls.  They’ll just jerk it to porn, because after all, even if a girl says yes, it can still be rape!  Boys might be horny buggers, but fear of being called a rapist is a powerful thing.  It’s already having an effect.  Universities that have this mindset propagating are seeing sex culture around campus dying off pretty fast.  Now it’s going to filter down to hormonal teenagers who desperately want sex, but don’t want to be called a rapist.

Part of me hopes this is an elaborate method for population control.  Let’s just teach all boys that even a girl who says yes can call you a rapist, and you can watch the birth rates decline like crazy.  Japan is at a point where they are about to have the first population drop in thousands of years.  You know, where the death rate overtakes the birth rate.  The rest of the First World isn’t far behind.  Man, if that is the case, then bravo, feminists.  Because after all, when no one is breeding and everyone is afraid of any kind of intimacy, feminists can have their wonderful utopia.

As for me, I don’t want to live in a world where I have to live that way.  I want a world where I can read if a girl is into it by seeing her body language and knowing her well enough to know when she is uncomfortable.  Because I don’t do one-night stands.  I want to at least like the person I am fucking.  And I feel for the generation coming up in this “progressive” world.  Because why should we teach critical thinking?  All that nuance is hard.  Best to just go with the retarded approach.

Until next time, a quote,

“I’m a firm believer in the idea that this world would not be very interesting or stimulating if we all thought and felt the same.” – TJ Kirk

Peace out,

Maverick

RAB: Twix Marketing and the Venom Movie

The very definition of a random assortment of bullshit. I was at my terrible, awful, no-good, thankless job today when I walked into the break room and got a look at the vending machine.  Don’t worry, I am not that pathetic.  I was reloading on water.  I actually am trying to take care of myself at this job.  Hence why I go on walks every single day now, multiple times.  But anyway, I get to the vending machine and I see a Twix candy bar.  Twix is my favorite kind of candy, but the thing which caught my eye is what was directly above it – Two Left.  The fuck?!  Then I remembered the retarded-ass marketing campaign of this stuff.

See, the company behind this had this marketing campaign where people were supposed to pick whether they like left Twix or right Twix better.  Like they aren’t the same goddamn candy!  That was stupid all on its own, but since I only caught that crap when I was out at the parent’s place watching TV, it didn’t bother me too much.  But then they decided to expand upon that retarded crap by introducing this newest marketing garbage.  See, since apparently this marketing campaign actually worked (what the fuck is wrong with you, America?!), they made packages that claim to have two left or two right Twix.  Why?  So the stupid monkeys who actually weighed in on this nonsense can have their precious left or right.  Fuck that noise!

As it has been made very clear that Americans are too stupid to get this crap, allow me to explain – you cannot have two left or two right of something in a package!  You have one thing on the left and one on the right!  Ugh!  But then all my retarded-ass coworkers said that I am overthinking this and how this reflects negatively upon me.  Are you kidding me?!  We have an ad campaign that is championing being dumb!  How am I the only person that bothers?!  Come on, people!  In the Comments, someone tell me I am not totally out of my mind here (just watch, now I get so trolled.  Never invite the Internet to do stuff like this)!

That stuff aside, there is another thing that got my attention recently – I saw in movie news that the Venom film is going to also star Carnage as the antagonist.  Really?  Don’t you think you’re kind of putting your best foot forward a little early?  Seems like you may want to see if a first Venom film can work before you pit symbiotes against one-another.  But as I thought about that more and more, it occurred to me – this better be an R-rated film!  Why?  Let’s discuss some comic nerd stuff.

Carnage is a truly grisly villain.  As the comic series has gone on, his body count is fairly astronomical.  The character’s entire schtick is that he uses his body to turn into gruesome weapons and rip his victims to pieces.  That’s pretty cool.  Put to film, such a character would be genuinely amazing, would they not?  Here’s the problem – this is a Sony film.  They suck at making movies!  The new Spider-Man only turned out so well because it was paired up with Marvel.  Tom Hardy as Venom definitely has an appeal to it.  He’s a great actor who can do dark roles very well.  I see him being able to take on something of an anti-hero like Venom and making it go pretty far.  But in a film with Carnage, here’s what I want – a HARD R-Rating!

Not this soft-R like Deadpool.  As much as I love that film, it played it safe in a lot of ways.  Logan was a step further in the right direction when it comes to gruesome comic book films with mainstream appeal.  But that even cut some corners from going too grotesque.  But no more of that with Venom!  If this film is going to have one of the most violent comic book villains of all time, then it better ramp up the death, blood, and gore to 11.  I want to see Venom beating the shit out of Carnage in a place filled with the mutilated bodies of his victims.  I mean, how can you possibly market a film with these two characters in it as a family picture?!

In an age where comic book films are FINALLY willing to take some risks that majorly pay off, this is the film where I want to see it ramped up to 11.  Hopefully that’s how they got Tom Hardy on board.  He is something of a crazy method actor, after all.  That man has brutalized himself in all sorts of ways for his roles.  I dig that kind of crazy.  And for the love of Groj, can we not let Sony get their claws into this film?!  They can only make it worse.  For whatever reason, this studio has a truly amazing record of taking good ideas and shitting all over them.  We’ll never know how that works, but there it is.

Until next time, a quote,

“Just like sardine cans!  Snack time!” – Carnage, Spider-Man: The Animated Series

Peace out,

Maverick

Video Games Aren’t Destroying Men! (A response to The New York Times)

Every few years I find that video games are somehow the ills of society, in some way.  Whether it be them causing violence, or them causing sexism, there is always some reason to blame video games for all of the problems that society is suffering from.  Feminists don’t get why gamers are so busy fighting for their hobby.  Well, it’s quite simple – because society has never really stopped having an issue with gamers and the games we play.  The media takes every opportunity to shit all over them.  No surprise, really.  After all, Hollywood is scared of video games.  So is the rest of the mainstream media.  Gaming has become a multi-billion dollar industry, while publications like this one are bleeding readers.

So up to the plate comes The New York Post, here to tell us that video games are destroying a generation of men.  Oh boy, this should be totally objective and not some stupid bullshit that someone who just doesn’t like video games pulled straight out of their ass.  Here’s a link to the article from another retarded conservative publication, let’s talk about it.

One night in the mid-1990s I tried out a computer game called “Civilization.”

Why, oh why, do ALL of these articles decrying video games begin with someone name-dropping a game?  They all do.  I’ll spare you the next two paragraphs and say that the summary is that this person played Civilization.  It was all fun and shit, but then they saw that it was taking up their time, which is wrong, so they said “no!” and swore off games forever.  I spared you so much boredom.

Today millions of people, disproportionately young men, are similarly caught in the throes of video games, which are far more enticing than their 1990s counterparts and often involve many players engaging at once. The hand-eye coordination of these men is no doubt impressive, plus they form friendships and learn to work through problems in teams.

Um, idiot, I got a little secret for ya – the average age of a gamers now is early 30’s.  My boss at work has played WoW since it came out.  By the by, she is a woman well into her 40’s.  Her account is still active.  Gamers aren’t the young men in basements that you are trying to cast.  We’re grown adults, often with families and social lives and responsibilities that we balance with a hobby that we like.  Much like how some guys can get together and bust a nut over football or go out and drink beers with their buds.  We’re not young men.  We’re grownups who are living normal lives.

Next, I love how a conservative publication is taking cues from Anita Sarkeesian – praising aspects of games that are totally meaningless before then changing tactics to attack again.  Ugh…

The problem is that for many young men, video games have become a substitute for living. They’re so addictive and soul-consuming that they’re unlike other leisure activities. Every hour spent on “Ghost Recon” or “Grand Theft Auto V” is an hour that could have been spent more productively.

Doing what?  I’ve already pointed out that it’s mostly men in their 30’s now.  How many of them have families?  How many of them are busy raising kids and tending to marriages while they have this hobby.  The reality of demographics are kicking your ass so hard.  But it is The New York Post, after all.  Facts never got in the way of a good narrative.

Sure, that’s also true of golf — but rarely do you hear that someone has quit his job and is living in Mom’s basement obsessing over putting.

No, but I have heard of a lot of guys who like going out to drink with their buddies spending more time at the bar than they do at home and getting drunk and beating their wives.  So, I kinda think that maybe the person whose worst hobby is gaming is a step above some of the shit I see on your side of the fence.

Yet video-game addicts are engaged in a mass retreat from life. Men aged 21 to 30 worked 12 percent fewer hours in 2015 than in 2000. The percent of young men who worked zero weeks over the course of a year doubled in that period, to an alarming 15 percent. Those working hours were largely replaced by gaming, and fully 35 percent of young men now live with their parents or other close relatives, up from 23 percent in 2000. Their unemployment rate jumped by 10 percent.

Where is your evidence for any of this?!  Are we not going to talk about how the job market in this country is so much harder for people trying to crack into the workforce?  Are we going to ignore that middle class jobs are becoming fewer and fewer as it dies a tragic death in this country?  There are 1001 things that could factor into this bullshit statistic you pulled straight out of your butthole, and you choose to examine none of them.  What the fuck…?

A huge proportion of young men are simply dropping out of the workforce and becoming PlayStation’s willing slaves. The numbers are in a National Bureau of Economic Research study and in an essay by economist Erik Hurst of the Booth School of Economics at the University of Chicago.

Which you don’t cite.  The only citation in your article is another article from your publication.  Why not cite this study here?  I don’t want to read another bullshit article.  Get me to the evidence!

Also, I kind of love it that I am PlayStation’s willing slave.  Dude, I work a 40 hour week at a thankless job.  I am not anyone’s willing slave.  I buy games for my PS4 because it’s something I can do because I am saving money.  I know, that mature bullshit.  It’s weird.

Should we dismiss all this if these men say they’re happy? Heroin addicts are happy, too, as long as they’re high, but what long-term effects do they face? Consider what the future holds for men whose 20s get sucked into the maw of the Xbox. The 20s are when we pick — and begin to gain mastery in — a career.

Yeah, 30 years ago.  Dude, times have changed.  Currently, the number of stable jobs that a person will hold by the time they are 40 is 10.  That number is expected to be 12 to 15 soon.  A cruel reality is that while you and yours are busy judging my generation, the number of stable occupations and career jobs are becoming less and less.  You don’t cite any sources for your statistic, so you are again just putting this out of your ass!

Also I just love that you compare gamers to heroin addicts.  One is a drug that kills people all the time and is physically addictive, the other is a hobby that millions upon millions of people have that has never been directly responsible for the death of ANYONE.  A more apt comparison would be gamers to stoners.  Both are not physically addictive, but can be done in excess and hurt your life overall.  But then you have to deal with the nuances of that argument, which I realize isn’t something you are intellectually capable of doing.

If these men intend to start their lives at 30, they’re going to find themselves at a huge disadvantage. They’re going to be sullen when told to start at the bottom, when peers they knew in school are already in management positions.

So, the implication is that gamers are just lazy fucks who don’t do anything?  Dude, I am a gamer, with a thankless job that I am desperately hoping doesn’t become my career, because the longer I stay here, the worse my outlook gets for finding a job in a different field.  It’s depressing.  I know a ton of gamers who all work stable jobs and have relationships and all the usual bullshit that comes with life.  How will playing video games stop a person from excelling at work?  By the same token, I can say that you going out to drink beer with all your fatass friends is doing damage to your life.  Depending on how much you chug down, your liver may agree with me.  Both statements have equal amounts of evidence to support them.

Maybe they’ll turn down work and pick up the gaming remote. Maybe they’ll drift toward their 40s without ever really launching.

Maybe you’ll get drunk and beat your wife for not having enough Moon Pies in the pantry.  Maybe you’ll kick your dog for getting in your way.  Maybe you’ll eat so many Doritos watching the big game with your bros that you have diarrhea and miss your big interview.  Oh, I’m sorry, I thought we were just making up bullshit about “what-ifs.”

Women usually don’t go for men who are less successful than they are, so gaming is going to cause a surge in dissatisfaction among members of both sexes. Unemployed, or underemployed, men residing at Casa de la Mama whose major life skill involves pretend shoot-em-ups are not going to impress many ladies. Accomplished women are going to discover the competition for male peers even tougher than it is today, when there are about three women for every two men enrolled in college.

Hey, dude, I got a little secret for ya – the number of women in high-powered positions, moving forward, is only gonna grow.  There is going to be a gradual shift in society where women accept that the number of men who are their intellectual or financial equals is going to greatly be diminished.  They may not like it, but it’s true.  Women are more and more pursuing high-powered careers.  Not playing video games ain’t gonna change that.  Nothing is going to change that.  Men putting down the controller and being macho men isn’t going to stop a cultural mindset that women would rather be employed in a career than home with the kids.  That’s just how this went.  You have this wonderfully stupid attitude about women and men.  It’s amazing.

By the way, is the implication here that gamers are stupid?  According to a study, it’s found that gamers are actually more likely to be educated and pursue a stable family life than non-gamers.  But again, don’t let facts get in the way of a good narrative.

Happiness is not to be confused with fleeting pleasures delivered by artificial, drug-like stimulants. Genuine life satisfaction is closely linked to the feelings of productivity we derive from doing jobs well and to the security of enduring close relationships, especially marriage.

Yeah, that’s why birth rates in the western world are plummeting.  Also, neat fact – the amount of people happily married is actually going up.  There’s a reason – fewer people are getting married.  Those who are are finding commitments that they can actually value.  Cultural mindsets are affecting the habits of people in those communities.  Who fucking knew?!

Gamer zombies risk losing touch with both the world of work and with the potential for real human relationships. The parents and friends of these young men are doing them no favors by thinking, “I never see him anymore but he seems happy.”

And you are doing your beliefs in your own intelligence no favors by stereotyping everyone who plays games as an unhappy, uneducated loser who has no job, no relationships, and no drive to seek emotional fulfillment.  This was fucking retarded.  Your only citation here is your own publication, and given the level of “reporting” I have seen here, that’s a wash.  All you can do is make assertions without a SINGLE piece of corroborating evidence to go with it.  This was a chore to sit through and I got dumber for my trouble.  Thanks for that.

Until next time, a quote,

“What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.” – Christopher Hitchens

Peace out,

Maverick

A Lack of Vision With Programmable Matter

Something I haven’t talked much about is the fact that I am a transhumanist.  I believe that humanity is quickly coming to the point where we can get past our biological limitations with technology.  And I am all for that.  There are a whole bunch of reasons why.  So when I see articles about this new concept that is coming up in the world of DARPA research, it gets my mouth watering.  Programmable matter!  The ideas that come to mind are endless.  The article in the link above said that the truth is that the limits of this technology are only where the human imagination can go, after it gets developed further.  A statement like that makes my mouth water.  So then, when I see their list of practical applications, I am kind of shocked at how limited their vision is.

For me, there is one thing that comes to mind – biological engineering applications.  After all, biology is matter, right?  The physical body is just biological materials that are set into a certain patterns based on the DNA of the individual.  Clusters of specialized cells that are arranged just so to accomplish the tasks of living as a human being.  That’s what the human body is.  So, with that in mind, what is stopping the biological from becoming programmable matter?

I realize that what I am talking about is tens, maybe dozens of years ahead of where we are now.  But given the speed at which technology grows, is it really that far-fetched?  Because I can see even further!  The “soul” as people call it is just chemicals and processes of the brain.  Whose to say that this couldn’t be moved from one body to the next?  Just think about it!  A cancer victim who is dying, what if a body could be fabricated via programmable biological matter to move their brain into?  The man who gets crushed by a car could be saved, purely by putting their brain’s chemistry into another mind.  If the limits are just our imaginations, then perhaps my imagination is further along.

We are already learning how to fabricate organs via 3D printing.  I’m talking about taking this technology to the next level.  Fuck the ethical implications!  Sorry.  Maybe I’m getting a little wrapped up in it.  But I think we are letting ourselves be slowed down.  Now is the time for us to go big!  This technology is in its infancy still.  We’re still making basic shapes and other basic forms.  I know there are great things ahead.  We can’t afford to let ourselves be stopped now.

My body is rotting away.  My feet are dead, and one day they are going to rot off.  It’s why I exercise the way I do.  Diabetes runs in the family, and if I ever contracted that, I would be so fucked.  My heart doesn’t work right.  I am going to require major open-heart surgery to solve the problem.  After my head injury I am one back knock on the head away from death.  My neck can’t move.  I can’t feel where I’m walking.  I just keep it going through muscle memory.  It is EXHAUSTING to live the way I do, and I am quite frankly tired of it.  I know something better is out there.  This kind of technology could save me from total degradation.  As my friend Kathryn says, trust and believe, if there was an opportunity for me to become a test subject for the kind of research I am talking about, then I would be there without a second thought.  Fuck the consequences!  I get one chance to live, and I am tired of wasting it in a body that doesn’t work right.

But more than that, just think of the implications!  Creating bodies on the cheap.  Imagine if you could move minds from one body to the next!  It sounds like science fiction, but if everything in the mind really is just chemistry, then whose to say that it couldn’t be done?  We have technology right now to visualize ones thoughts.  It’s kind of Orwellian, but at the same time kind of cool.  I see the possibilities.  To take humanity to the next level.  To make it so that disease and things like that are no longer a death sentence.  We already have a new untreatable strain of gonorrhea that is spreading rapidly.  The reality is that the day is coming when having to get surgery is a death sentence due to untreatable bacteria.  It’s not something that is a ways off and we can worry about it when it happens.  It’s happening now!  Hospitals all over the country are becoming infested with these diseases.  Diseases we made.  That’s right, our over-prescribing of drugs is the reason that these pathogens exist.  Nice work, humanity.  The hypochondriacs who need drugs for every sniffle are the reason our species is fucked.  Well done.  However, we can get ahead of this.  If finding better immunizations is impossible, and more hardcore drugs won’t work, then we have to find another way around this.  I think my idea might work.

So I’m not just wanting this for my own sake.  I want it to help this species overcome our own shortcomings.  But maybe it’s all just science fiction.  If anyone has an alternative, let me know.

Until next time, a quote,

“Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.” – Anton Checkov

Peace out,

Maverick

Lucien’s First Take: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle Official Trailer

I saw the new Spider-Man today.  Awesome movie.  Just did a review on it.  But before that I had to suffer through a TON of ads for films that look just…awful.  Sony REALLY needs to get out of the movie industry, because they are producing some of the biggest shit imaginable.  I had heard that there was a sequel to Jumanji being done.  The classic film with Robin Williams, practical effects that still hold up, and CG that has aged terrible.  I had heard that it was going to involve The Rock and be set in a school.  So, some kids find the game and then it ends up having animal hijinks all around the school?  Okay, this sounds like it has potential.  Not much, mind you, but potential.

Oh, if only it had been that.  When the trailer for this film began, I was in awe, in absolute awe of how utterly stupid it is.  Let’s take a look.

So we have the breakfast club, circa 2017 being put in detention.  Glad to see the film wasted no time ripping off infinitely better films (something you’re going to learn that this film does a lot of).  So they find the game board down in that room?  You know, that iconic game board with all the really trippy effects and riddles telling our hapless characters what sorts of nightmares they unleashed?  This should be fun!

Oh, right we don’t have that.  Instead, we get their version of a Super Nintendo where it’s a video game now!  Because…modern?  Oh god, this film wastes no time trying to pander to the millenials who are NEVER going to like it anyway.  I just don’t get why they chose to do this.  Part of the charm of the original film was the understanding that it is retro.  Even for the 90’s, board games were passe.  But this game called to you.  It played drums and creeped you out.  There was real presence to that creepy board.  But now we have it just some game console that they found.  Were there even drums?  I didn’t hear anything, so I guess not.  Groj is this stupid.  This is so fucking stupid.

They start up the game, pick their characters, and then are sucked into the game.  Wait, really?  So all that stuff about the animals from the game fucking around in the real world?  That’s just, what, gone now?  Once they end up in the game’s reality, we see them all as different characters.  The really germophobic nerd is in The Rock’s body.  So, is this film ripping off Heavy Metal now?  That’s a weird choice.  Does that mean he’s going to bone some naked babes?  I bet that would make this film more interesting.  The black guy is in Kevin Hart’s body.  Oh boy, I can’t wait to see what unfunny comedy comes out of him.  The nerdy girl is a hot girl’s body now.  Okay.  But the thing which made me grown the loudest was seeing the hot girl now in Jack Black’s body.  Did this film really rip of The Hot Chick?!  You know, that film where Rob Schneider is put in the body of a hot girl?!  That film which fucking sucked?!  Unbelievable.  The premise just gets stupider and stupider.

Does anyone remember the way Robin Williams described the jungle world in the original film?  It sounded like a terrifying place, didn’t it?  A world where every day is a constant fear of if you will be eaten.  Where it’s full of darkness and nightmarish monsters that you can’t begin to comprehend.  And even the humans are killers who hunt other human beings.  That description really fucked with me as a kid.  But I guess in this film it’s a bright and colorful place, full of mirth and laughter and hilarious hijinks!  The montage that follows seems to suggest as much.

I’m just gonna cut to the quick on this, because talking about this trailer is pissing me off – this movie looks fucking retarded.  It’s not being faithful to the original.  It’s desperately trying to cash in on the hipster millennial crowd while also trying to be a family film.  Though, I guess these idiots are now old enough to have children, so maybe that works.  It’s ripping off other movies, and in the process looks even more pathetic.  Especially when the films it is ripping off starred the cinematic abortion known as Rob Schneider!  Fuck this movie right up its asshole!  Yet-another reboot that we can add to the pile of reboots that just fucking suck.  And, thankfully, the consensus on this seems to be pretty solid, so I hope this film bombs to the point that Sony can finally get the picture about how badly they need to get out of the movie industry.

Initial Verdict
3 out of 10

Peace out,

Maverick

Lucien’s Review: Spider-Man: Homecoming

I’m about to get very unpopular right now.  I hated the first three Spider-Man films.  Why?  Because I hate Tobey MaGuire.  I’m sure he is a perfectly nice person, and I have seen movies with him in it that I like, such as Pleasantville.  However, I do not like him as an actor.  How he was able to carry the role in the aforementioned film is beyond me.  Maybe they got that one director in a million.  I don’t know.  Whatever the case, he was insufferable as Spider-Man.  There is the meme about the many faces of Tobey Maguire, well, that’s all I can think of when I watch those movies.  Andrew Garfield was a little better in the role.  At least in the first film he starred as.  I at least felt like he was trying to fit into the role of the character.  Still, he ended up being destroyed by studio interference.  Though, that’s what happened to the original films too.  Huh, there might be a clue about Sony and their vicegrip on this franchise in there somewhere.

But for the first time in, roughly 15 years, I actually feel like I have watched a Spider-Man movie.  It’s finally happened!  I knew it would be after I saw this actor in the role in Civil War.  Tom Holland was perfectly cast.  He looks the part.  He sounds the part.  Everything about this kid just screams Spider-Man.  I really liked this movie.  Is it perfect?  Hell no.  But as far as doing justice to this character and making a good Spider-Man film, this movie is the closest we have ever gotten, and part of me is worried that Sony is just going to fuck that up down the road.  Let’s talk about it.

The plot picks up 7 months after the events in Civil War, where Parker is back in school and trying to balance being a superhero and desperately hoping to be involved in something larger by Stark once-again.  Meanwhile, there is a villain who actually has a pretty neat motivation secretly working toward a goal, and Parker is the only one who can stop him.  It’s pretty standard superhero fare, but man is it all in the execution.

Once-again, Tom Holland rocks this role.  I feel like I am legit watching Spider-Man live up to his namesake!  The acting is great all-around.  Holland rocks the main role.  His buddy Ned is pretty fun too.  He’s funny.  He plays the sidekick role really well.  Plus, you actually believe that him and Parker are friends.  Their friendship all comes through due to the chemistry of these actors.  Next up we have Aunt May, who is featured much less than I thought in this movie.  They also gave her glasses for some odd reason.  But you actually feel her compassion for Parker.  The love interest in the film is actually a pretty nice character.  I don’t care that they changed her ethnicity.  It’s all good to me.  I liked her character.

A role that stood out to me was the villain.  Everyone knows it’s the Vulture, so I’m not spoiling anything there.  But he is a pretty neat character.  So many superhero films lately have a problem of boring antagonists.  We actually get to see where this man’s motivations come from.  Is he super deep?  No.  But it’s a hell of a lot deeper than the paper-thin villains I have seen in some of Marvel’s movies.  Plus, he is played by Michael Keaton, who totally owns the role.  He is nefarious and in it for himself, but you can see where he’s coming from.  And I like how they were able to get past the whole “we’re not so different” angle in this film in a pretty clever way.

But there is one performance that just bugs me – Mary Jane.  Do I care that they also changed her ethnicity?  No.  Not even a little.  What I do care about is the fact that they made her into the biggest garden-variety SJW ever!  She’s annoying.  She’s preachy.  I half-expected her to talk about her Tumblr page, it’s that bad.  How Peter is going to get past that and want to be with her in future films is beyond me.  This character was downright insufferable.  Is this a nitpick?  Absolutely.  It didn’t hurt my enjoyment of the film overall.  See, I can handle SJW pandering so long as it’s in a good movie.  But whoever directs this next, can we PLEASE make this character a little more likeable?

Tony Stark also comes back, and I was a little disappointed in this.  Robert Downey Jr was fine and all, but I was kind of thinking that Stark was going to go at this from the angle of him trying to become a father-figure in Peter’s life.  They framed it that way in the trailers.  There is one exceptionally-good moment where he is castigating Parker, but that’s pretty much it.

Finally, I have to talk about something which is a minor spoiler.  Spider-Man unlocks an AI program in the suit Stark left him, and she is entirely too much fun.  The scenes where her and Parker are arguing about stuff are just great.  Desperately hoping this character becomes a mainstay of the series.

The effects and action in this movie are pretty good, but since this film is really character-driven, I honestly don’t have much to say about that.  Vulture was a pretty good villain.  Seeing Spidey doing his thing is pretty awesome.

The final thoughts on this movie is that it’s loads of fun.  It’s not perfect.  It’s being held back by the fact that it has some scenes that drag and an SJW-tastic character who was grinding my gears every time her preachy ass was on screen.  But overall this was loads of fun, and it is my favorite Spider-Man film to date.  But here is where I am worrying.  Sony has said that after the last Avengers film, they are cutting ties to Disney’s Marvel.  Please don’t.  These people know what’s what!  Having their input has gotten you so much farther.  Let them stay involved.  Granted, Kevin Feige is leaving the MCU after this, which is when I plan on tuning out, so maybe it’s all for the best.  We’ll see what happens, but at least I finally got ONE good Spider-Man film that makes me believe this character is Spider-Man.

Final Verdict
8 out of 10

Peace out,

Maverick

Bad PR 112: #CNNBlackmail and Journalistic Ethics Going to Die

Listening to the news anymore can be an exercise in patience.  Trust me, I get it.  I got my degree in journalism.  Which I am not using in any productive way now, getting yelled at in a call center.  Doesn’t my life sound great?  However, as I watch this field that I once wanted to pursue as a career deteriorate around me, I can’t help but see some of the most recent incidents as sad reminders of what a shallow grave this profession is digging.  If you want to see why, look no further than the most recent fuck-up by CNN.  This is bad PR nirvana.  I could go on for hours about how bad this looks.

Some kid on Reddit, and it has been verified to be a kid of 15 years of age, decided to do a little trolling on The Donald subreddit and create a video image from WWF when Donald Trump kicked Vince McMahon’s ass, putting a CNN logo over McMahon’s face.  Is it immature?  Sure.  Do I care?  Nope.  Not even a little.  It is kinda funny.  I don’t even like Trump and I find it funny.  A stupid, intentionally-juvenile video clip made to troll CNN.  To normal people online it would have begun and ended there.  Except Trump found it as it was getting shared around and liked it.  So he shared it.  Well, as you can imagine, in the world of professional outrage, this act had to have some deliberately-stupid consequences.  Because a professional organization like CNN couldn’t show that they are the bigger people and display a little maturity.  No, that’s asking WAY too much.

Like CNN finding out about this and getting their dander up.  They claimed that Trump was threatening them with violence, and how that is completely inappropriate.  Then, when the kid who made the GIF came forward to them, they, in no uncertain terms, made very clear that if he does anything that they don’t like, they are going to publish all his personal information online.  Don’t believe me?  Here, see for yourself.

CNN just came out and said that if this underage kid does anything that they don’t like in the future, they are going to dox him.  They are fucking threatening a teenager with destroying his life if he does anything that they disapprove of now or in the future.  That’s…unbelievably stupid.  This is a crime.  A news outlet that claims to be about journalism has just published a story where they outright say that this kid could have all his personal information put online by them.  Maybe Ben Kuchera and Jim Sterling should work for this company.  Both of them support doxing too.  Maybe get Anita Sarkeesian and Rebecca Watson in on the fun.  Why not?  After all, if you can’t destroy the life of someone who made a GIF mocking your ethically-vapid news outlet, what can you do?

This is such a step in the wrong direction for this news outlet.  In a time when the regular news is going the way of Myspace, for this company to choose to get all butthurt and go at CNN this hard just blows my goddamn mind.  This kid did NOTHING wrong, CNN!  Not one goddamn thing!  But because he made you look kind of silly in a GIF that signifies absolutely nothing (but they will swear up and down in a secret threat), you had to go at him this hard?!  What the fuck is wrong with you!?

And hey, let’s not have CNN have all the fun.  Another intellectually-void publication decided that they wanted to get in the spirit of things too – Salon.  Take a look.

No, Salon, CNN is not the good guy here.  They are forcing someone to do what they want, and if that person doesn’t do that, then they will use something they are holding over their head against them.  That’s called “blackmail.”  Huh, I wonder if that’s a crime.  Well, it turns out there is a rather fascinating debate on the matter.  Here’s a link to that debate.  Makes me wonder what would happen if that kid decided to take CNN to court.  I sure as hell would.  Or that kid’s parents.  If someone threatens my child with doxing if he doesn’t do what they want, and it’s a professional organization like CNN, all for making a GIF, I would have my lawyer on the phone that day and the filing of a lawsuit the next.  After all, thanks to the wonderful people of the Internet, this action is never going to leave.  Ever.  For the rest of their time as a “news” outlet, CNN will have this sort of press following them around.

Here’s the PR lesson I have to teach – I cannot possibly imagine a worse look than this.  Their entire professional image is destroyed.  They got so butthurt about someone mocking them that they went out of their way to find out who it was and now holds their identity hostage unless this kid does what they want.  How do you spin that to look good?!  I honestly am trying to think of a way.  Nothing’s coming to me.  All their talk about how they are the good guys, and Trump is the bad guy for attacking them and making them look bad, now they do shit like this.  They might as well just put Jerry Springer on their network and flush all their ethical integrity down the fucking toilet.  Hey, Anderson Cooper, are you proud of the network that has your name associated with it?  Hey, Wolf Blitzer, what about you?  Jack Cafferty?  Any of the talking heads on that station?

When you reach a point that your image is synonymous with this level of incompetence, when you have reporters being fired because they got busted faking a story about Russia hacking the election, when the first thing that people see when they look you up is this tire fire that you started, it might be time to throw in the towel as a news network.  Just put on some trash programming about women fighting in Wal-Mart’s parking lot and you can join UPN in the garbage bin of networks that had potential and flushed it all away.

How pathetic.  How utterly, unbelievably, unethically pathetic.

Until next time, a quote,

“There is no better test of a man’s integrity than his behavior when he’s wrong.” – Marvin Williams

Peace out,

Maverick