Going Out to a Bar with Friends Etiquette

That’s right, we’re talking about etiquette right now.  After the events that happened last night, I feel the need to do this.  Because what happened last night isn’t cool, in any way.

Omitting names, because I don’t like to talk about people specifically in these posts unless it is something humorous, I want to tel the story of what happened to me REALLY early this morning.  I was bored and in my room, watching Samurai Champloo.  I love the show, but I had had nothing to do all day, and I was bored as hell.  I was wishing I could get out, when I get a text.  It was from a friend.  She asked me if I knew where a certain bar was.  I didn’t, but that’s what Google was invented for.  She said that she had been ditched by her friends and was there all alone, and asked me to come get her.  I got the address and ran to my car.

I had to fight downtown traffic to find a place to park, but I eventually did, and I hurried over on foot.  When I got there, she was waiting, and looked scared to death.  It’s easy to see why.  Being a woman, alone, at 2 in the morning, after a Friday night, in this city is dangerous business.  I have heard a lot of stories about bad stuff happening to many women in such a situation.  But this friend of mine was smart.  She stayed in public, texting me and asking me to come get her, and texting other people so that people knew where she was.  Poor girl, when I got there, she was scared.  We got her home, and all is well, but this brings me to talking about today’s discussion point – going out to your friends at a bar etiquette.

1. You go out as a group
Bars can be a lot of fun, but they are also can be dangerous places.  Don’t go out alone.  Make sure you have a designated driver (even if that gets to be you.  Ha-ha!), and a couple of people who you trust with you.

2. Be smart with your drinking
I am a college student.  I don’t go drinking, mostly because I don’t see the appeal.  But I know how it works.  Too many college students have died because they decided to get stone-drunk and do something dumb, or shoot booze and go too far.  If you are going to indulge, which is totally cool, be smart about it.  Life is too short and too precious to throw away on a night of drinking.

3. (And this is the most important) You DO NOT ditch your friends at a bar!
Yeah, this is such bullshit.  What happened to my friend is unacceptable, and if it were me, I would kick the asses of these “friends” up and down C Street until they couldn’t walk right ever again.  This is something that just isn’t done.  If you are leaving a bar, you make sure your friends are with you, or, if they still want to stay and hang out, you make sure they have somebody with them, and a way home.  That’s how a real friend works.  They look after their friends.  I am so glad that I could help this poor girl.

I hate to sound like a mother when writing this, but this needed to be said.  I figure that I don’t have to tell most of you.  Most of you probably already know about this and don’t need Lucien with his disapproving glare telling you how awful a thing to do this is.  My friend was smart.  When she saw that she was alone there, she stayed in public and texted me, asking me to come get her.  She stayed in public as long as she could, until I arrived.  When I got there, she was scared to death.  What kind of person does that to a friend?!  Leaves them alone in a foreign place?!

I don’t know, and whoever these friends of hers are, they deserve to get the shit kicked out of them.  If you ask me, they are no friends of hers, but hey, that’s just me.  I am just glad that she is okay, and that I could be there.  I kind of feel like a knight in shining armor.

Okay, enough of my lecturing.  Here is something pleasant to finish on.

Until next time, a quote,

“There are two types of people in this world – those who do what they’re told, and those who are true to themselves. Most people think you’re supposed to follow a predetermined path, keep your head down, obey the rules, do whatever’s popular. But, some prefer to find their own path in life.” -Yuji Sakurai, BECK: Mongolian Chop Squad

Peace out,


Top 15 Video Games

So, I am a gamer.  Anyone who has been reading this blog for any length of time knows this.  I am a gamer, and I thought that I would do a post of my favorite games.  I wanted to keep it short, but I have failed at that.  I have been doing those too much lately, and I wanted to give you the top ten games that at any time, I can sit down and be totally entranced by.  For real, if you take my ass and sit it down and put any of these games on, within moments, I am having fun.  Which is what any game should be.  These are the top ten games that brought me the most fun, the most laughs, and the most time in my insomnia-driven childhood.  Enjoy.

15. Skies of Arcadia: Legends
Now, there are a few things in this game that were missing from the Dreamcast version that I wish had been in this game, like the fact that the ship you had wasn’t the only one that you could have.  You could buy and sell your airships, meaning that you could get a better one.  There were more customization options.  There was more that one could do with the crew.  But this game was still pretty good.  It is a fantasy game set in a world that flies in the skies.  The story is generic enough – a young man dreams of being better, goes through hardship, becomes great, defeats an evil bad guy.  We’ve heard that one.  But the execution and the world that this game makes are definitely worth it.  All the extras that make the mythos of this world grow and make it come to life are definitely fun.  And the airship-to-airship battles are so much fun.  There is a LOT of strategy involved in them, along with the personal combat.  This game was lots of fun, and I look forward to playing it again.

14. Final Fantasy X
This is another great fantasy game.  I love this game so much.  This was back when Square Enix was Squaresoft, and back then they actually gave a shit about this series, instead of now, when they are milking their most recent game for all its worth, not giving us the one we want.  They have become cash-cows, and they aren’t even going for the good cash-ins.  Jerks.  But this game was great.  The story was awesome.  A young man named (you make your own) lives in Zanarkand.  He is a blitzball star, total hit with the ladies, but is living in his late father’s shadow.  Through a bad turn of fate, he is teleported away from Zanarkand by the giant monster Sin.  Sin destroys the city, sending him 1000 years into the future.  From there, you learn about this world, the main character’s place in it, and has one of the best love stories of any game that I have played, ever.  But aside from the story, the battle system is loads of fun, the characters are great, and the world is amazing.  I loved every single minute of this game.

13. Starfox 64
I have never been a really huge fan of air combat simulator games, but this game was definitely an exception.  Starfox 64 is an awesome game.  There are tons of missions, and to get to some of them, you have to be very clever and do special events.  It is loads of fun, and quite a challenge once you get to the later missions.  There was a sequel game that was made, Starfox Assault, but that game was severely lacking.  The mission structure had no surprises.  There were no alternate missions or endings.  It was all the same.  But this was the original, and the best.  The bosses were loads of fun, the gameplay was awesome, and the characters were loads of fun.  The dialogues between Fox and his scoobies were some of the most entertaining characters of their day.  For an air combat (along with space combat) simulator, I have a lot of love for this game.

12. Tales of the Abyss
Fantasy games and I have a very…love-hate relationship.  I either really like them, or I really hate them.  This is, as you can probably assume, one of the ones that I love.  This game is loads of fun.  The story is really engaging, even if it is just a typical good vs. evil.  The combat system is loads of fun.  It combines unique combos with the use of magic and interesting combinations of magic and physical combat.  But the thing that really gets me about this game – the characters, and the relationships.  This is another game with a very convincing romance.  The main character Luke and a woman named Tear get whisked across the world at the beginning of the game by accident.  Thus begins their relationship.  It is very much in the same vein as Han Solo and Leia from Star Wars.  There is genuine animosity between the two, but you can feel a deeper attraction.  Over the course of the game, you grow to care about the characters, and their relationship, until the end, where you are practically screaming at them to kiss already!  This game was fun, and I have enjoyed it every time I play.

11. Dead Space 2
I love Dead Space, don’t get me wrong.  But this game is better in every way.  Horror games are something of a lost art to make.  At least, ones that are legitimately scary.  Dead Space and its sequel do it without a hitch.  These games are terrifying, which is something I love.  I still often play them at 2 in the morning.  My poor nerves.  My only real problem with this game is that the main character talks.  A lot.  WAY too much.  Aside from that, the characters are loads of fun.  The combat system is excellent.  The setting is both creepy and engaging.  The weapon selection is loads of fun.  Oh, and getting around in zero-gravity is WAY more fun than the first game.  Getting to float around is exactly what this game needed, where as in the first one, you had to just jump in a straight line from place to place.  I love this game, for everything it has to offer.  Except the chatty main character.  That was something that the first game did better.  In the first game, he didn’t talk at all, which was kind of fun because it let you insert your own voice.  Oh well, loads of scary, action-filled fun!

10. Bioshock
Another horror game that I just love.  It combines the fear of horror with first person shooting.  It isn’t the first game to do this, of course, but I think it is the most engaging.  The setting of this game is the underwater city of Rapture.  That alone is enough to make this game fun, but the creators of this game decided to go a lot further.  They created a lot of really interesting characters, and how they did this is through audio logs and radio communications.  That is also how they established this incredibly engaging world.  The world of Rapture has an incredibly deep and engaging mythos, which you learn about entirely through audio logs.  There is no concrete history, only what you hear about through the various characters.  And it is great.  When one does audio logs in a game, you have to make them really well.  If you don’t, it just comes off as cheap and dumb.  This game doesn’t suffer that problem.  The voice acting in this game is top of the line, and it makes the world much more interesting.  And the gameplay is no slouch, either.  The combination of Plasmids and guns is just great.  This is a great game, and also disturbing as hell.

9. Mario Kart 64
It isn’t a mystery that I am not a fan of racing games.  I mean, it is going around a course, trying to beat the other people to it.  But this game is a complete exception to that.  Everything about this game is good.  The racing isn’t so serious and endlessly complicated as in car racing games.  The controls are simple.  It also adds the ability to use weapons, which makes the races a lot more interesting.  The racing characters are a lot of fun too.  My personal favorite was Toad.  And the courses are also a lot of fun.  Part of the fun of playing this game is finding out how to use the courses to your advantage.  There is a lot of strategy involved in this game, not just racing.  I used to own at this game, and I loved every minute of pwning my friends to death as I played.  This is a great game, and all the sequels that I have played have sucked.  Badly.

8. Metroid Prime
This series of games and I have a very nice relationship.  It combined all the fun aspects of playing as Samus Aran with a first person shooter.  Bless this little game’s heart, because it is such a fun game.  The mechanics are fun.  The varying enemies are fun.  The mythos of the world and the scannable segments that fill you in on the history of the Space Pirates, the Chozo, and the various other groups are fun.  Another great part of the game are the boss fights.  These are some of the most entertaining boss fights that you will ever find in gaming.  The different uses of weapons and terrain is great.  This is a low on brains and high on action game, and I love every minute of it.

7. Shadow of the Colossus
I have only one regret about this game – that more were not made.  This game, this concept, and this style is just awesome.  This is one of those games that I put in the category of art.  The visuals are amazing.  The story is amazing.  But by far the best part are the bosses.  This game is unique in that there really isn’t anything else going on except boss battles.  See, the premise of this game is that you are a young man.  You are heading to a foreign land with a young woman in tow.  She is dead, and you are looking to resurrect her.  You place her on an alter, and a mysterious voice tells you that you can bring her back, but you have to kill 16 giant colossi to do it.  Man, this is such a great premise.  And how it all plays out is awesome.  Each battle with the giant (and sometimes not so giant) Colossi is amazing.  The strategy in this game is finding out what kills them.  And these monsters are simply amazing.  Each one of them looks amazing.  And how these fights play out is just great.  Some of the best visuals in any game.  I really wish that they could have made a sequel to this, or that another game series would have picked up the concept, because it is amazing.  A genuine work of art.

6. Silent Hill 2
It isn’t exactly a secret that the survival horror genre is on life-support.  And this game is one of the great accomplishments of its golden years.  Silent Hill 2 is a profoundly disturbing experience.  Everything about this game shows success in using great themes and dark elements to their advantage.  This is a very slow game.  And when I say slow, I mean SLOW.  This was done deliberately.  This game was made as a very harsh look into the human psyche.  The story goes that a man, James Sunderland, returns to Silent Hill.  He does so after getting a letter from his wife.  The catch is that his wife is dead, and has been for over a year.  Now, he is trying to figure out why he is back in this town, and what the connection of Silent Hill is to his mind.  This game is an incredibly intense and personal experience, diving in to James’ mind, and giving the player a glimpse of the demons at work inside of this man.  Because the demons at work inside of him grow to become the demons at work outside of him in the town, often trying to kill him.  This game is such a visceral experience, and I love every minute of it.

5. Kingdom Hearts II
Again, I love Kingdom Hearts.  It is a great concept, and the characters are fun, and the worlds are great.  This game, however, is much better for a lot of reasons.  For one thing, the first game didn’t feel like it had a direction.  You were doing things, and they were fun, but it never felt like it had a concentrated direction.  This game, on the other hand, felt like it had a very firm direction and you knew where it was going.  Plus, there were a lot more Final Fantasy characters, which was a lot of fun.  There were more worlds, which was fun.  And you know what, I liked the play mechanics.  A lot of people bitched about how simple the combat was.  And especially the quicktime events.  I happened to like those.  The animations in them was usually a lot of fun, and I was more interested in the story than the fighting.  Oh, and the boss battles were just awesome.  Some of the best that I have seen in any game.  This was a great game, and I liked it a lot more than I did the original.

4. Assassin’s Creed (series)
I couldn’t pick a single favorite out of these games.  I love this series so much.  The concept behind it, of being able to look into your own bloodline, and be able to live through that person’s life.  Looking back through history.  This series has a lot of great elements.  The first is the gameplay in general.  The parkour elements are just great.  This game was made by Ubisoft, whose previous cash-cow had been the Prince of Persia series, which used much the same elements.  The next element I love is the combat.  All the unique ways that you can kill your enemies is just great.  Granted, the combat elements got better and better with each game.  At first, they were a little rough.  I also loved the characters.  Both the main character, Desmond Miles, voiced by my favorite video game voice-over, Nolan North, and each of his Assassin ancestors.  They are all awesome.  I cannot wait to see who they are going to have for the next game, coming out this October.

3. Flower
A game that few people have probably heard of, this is one of the most unique gaming experiences that I have ever had.  Made by a very indie company called thatgamecompany, this game is so peaceful.  The premise is that you are a man at an apartment.  He is bored with his life, so he goes into his imagination, as a gust of wind, carrying flower petals to various locations and solving simple puzzles, always as a gust of wind.  You wouldn’t think that such a concept could be good, but this concept is amazing.  The visuals are so great, and the music is peaceful.  I really don’t have much to say about this game aside from how amazingly beautiful and peaceful it is.  I haven’t seen anything like it, and I now have a very nice relationship with thatgamecompany.

2. Batman: Arkham City
Oh my god, where do I even get started?  I love this game so much.  I love the story, with its incredibly dark twists and turns.  I love the voice acting.  The final work of Mark Hamill’s Joker was incredible.  He truly is the character.  Siskel may not have liked his character, but I thought that his performance cemented the fact that Mark Hamill is the greatest small-screen Joker who will ever, EVER, be!  I love the visuals.  This world in this game is so gritty, so harsh, so ugly.  You feel the harshness of Arkham City in every single segment of it.  The designers of this game didn’t waste a frame of making this game look good.  The character models are also really great, and reflect the dark themes at work in this game.  I love all the voice-acting, not just Mark Hamill.  Batman’s character especially was great.  There were some great examinations in this game of just how dark this character really is.  Batman literally was about to just let a thousand people die in order to save his girlfriend.  And the ending to this game is the greatest ending to any game that I have seen ever.  I literally was in shock at how profoundly dark and powerful it was.  Watching Batman and the Joker share a moment, an honest-to-god moment together was just amazing.  I was and still am dumb-founded by it.  This game was incredible.  Every single moment of it was great.  I liked this game more than I did the film The Dark Knight.  It was great.

And my #1 pick for my favorite game is…

1. Journey
Another game by thatgamecompany.  You ever see the film Fantasia?  I call that film an emotional experience.  That is what I call this game.  This is a game of simplicity.  Yet for how simple it is, it is also ambitious.  The concept is that a cloaked man is making his way across a vast desert to a distant mountaintop.  For what purpose, you never have a clear answer.  Nothing in this game is spelled out.  It is all open to interpretation, and that’s what I love about it.  But the things that I love most in this game are the visuals and the music.  Truly, the visuals are the best part.  This desert looks and feels real.  You can almost feel all the grains of sand in it.  You can see the sun and feel its heat as you traverse it.  The darkness feels like actual darkness.  It is so amazing.  And the music is so soft and subtle in places, yet uplifting and sometimes harsh in others.  The piece on the last level is just great.  I love it.  This game is an incredible experience, and it made me feel so emotionally attached to a character who never speaks, and who has no story at all, yet you feel the passion in his journey.  This was a game that proved that not all of those who wander are lost.  I love every minute of it.

Video games are a great medium, a true form of art, and what is amazing is that I have gotten to watch this medium grow around me.  I have watched it grow and evolve, and I continue to watch it evolve.  It is amazing.  I love every minute of it.

Until next time, a quote,

“I would define art as a way of communicating ideas to an audience in a way that the audience finds engaging.”  – Kellee Santiago, TEDxUSC 

Peace out,


How To Be a High School Student

For any student who has left high school recently, I thought that I would come on here and I would write a post for all the angsty little teenagers out there who are in high school.  If you want to know how to be a very well-adjusted, white, upper-class high school student, this post is for you.

1. The entire world revolves around you

After all, what could possibly be harder in life than high school?  I mean, think about it – this is everything!  There are relationships (or, if you aren’t one of the cool kids, not having a relationship), having a car (or, if you aren’t one of the cool kids, not having a car), and a social life that is just so hard to maintain (or, if you aren’t one of the cool kids, all the envy and hate of the kids who do have a social life, because as you have clearly figured out, you suck)!  And of course, there are those stupid classes that you have to go to and learn stuff at.  They are so hard!  As you know, people here in America have these really high standards.  They expect you to do homework!  The nerve!  Why should you have to put up with that?  It is totally unfair that these jerks feel like you should have to be subjected to all that.

2. Nobody gets you.

When you go on about how hard your classes are, and how sad it is that you didn’t get a car for your birthday, and when you say that some dumb bitch broke up with you, there will be a lot of people who will remark that you are spoiled and don’t know how good you have it.  But how dare they judge you!  They don’t know who you are.  They don’t know where you’ve been.  They don’t know how rough you’ve had it.  They have no right to tell you that you are spoiled.  These people are just jealous that they can’t know how real your life is.  This isn’t like TV.  You have really hard stuff to deal with.  Of course they are going to be hating on your life.

Oh, and some of them will tell you that there are people who have it a lot harder.  Like those black kids in the city, or those starving people in other countries.  Well, have they ever had to deal with not getting the new iPhone?  Have they ever had to be told that they couldn’t get a car?  Have they ever had to do all these stupid things that you have to do?  Of course not!  These people are idiots, and they should feel bad for you.  Just cause they don’t have something doesn’t mean that they can’t understand where you’re coming from.

3. Love is really really easy

There are lots of girls (or boys, if you are a girl) in the world.  And of course, it only makes sense that you have one of them.  Or more, if you are interested in getting lots of ass.  Still, when you get one of them, it only makes sense that things should be simple.  The person should be totally in love with you all the time.  It should always be fun to be with them.  There are all those movies that show that love can be painful, but those are movies, right?  Listen to any of what’s popular right now and you’ll hear all these singers talking about how love is super awesome, all the time.  So it should be the same for you.  And if it isn’t, you should totally ditch it.  You have enough problems to deal with, right?  Why should you have to listen to some stupid girl (or boy) tell you that they are unhappy, and that they want to talk.  Life is a party, right? Of course it is.  And you get to have all the fun in the world.

4. Your parents and your teachers suck

These people are going to talk to you about how you have all these expectations.  They want you to be a “responsible adult.”  That so isn’t cool!  I mean, you already have all the problems of life, like if you are a guy, there are girls to go after, parties to go to, and friends.  If you are a girl, there are the latest fashions, boys, parties to go to, and lots of endless drama that you have to deal with.  Why should these people expect more from you?  After all, they never did before.  These people suck.  They are obviously trying to make you miserable.

But there is an even bigger thing that you have to worry about.  You might hear about this happening to your friends.  Their parents might tell them that they are being lazy and irresponsible (whatever that means), so they are cutting off their money.  This means that they would actually have to…find a job!  A high school student, working?!  That’s unacceptable!  You shouldn’t have to work!  You should be out having fun.  After all, that’s what your life has been so far, so why shouldn’t it continue to be now?  If your parents do that to you, it’s totally cool to hate them.  After all, it’s their fault for being jerks to you.  You didn’t do anything to them!

So, got all that?  Well, if you do, then you are ready to be a white, upper-class high school student.  Though you can also use this same advice for a white, upper-class college student.  Which is good, because you aren’t going to be smart enough to mature a little and do anything else.

Congratulations, you are ready to become a worthless adult who will do nothing for society and make this country even dumber!

Until next time, a quote,

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”  – George Carlin

Peace out,


ABC Rips Off BBC?

I have said a lot of crap about American television.  Non-existent God knows that they haven’t done much lately to earn my respect, aside from the diamonds in the rough like The Walking Dead or Breaking Bad.  But aside from that, there isn’t a lot of nice things to say about American television.  It really hasn’t done a thing to earn my respect.  However, there was one thing that I have seen recently being advertised all over YouTube that really put my knickers in a twist.

You see, some time ago, I was introduced through Masterpiece Mystery, on PBS, to a new concept.  It was an idea I hadn’t thought of before – take the character of Sherlock Holmes and bring him into the 21st Century.  And make it so that this character never existed before now.  A totally new character.  That’s the premise.  It’s a unique concept.  And the execution was brilliant.  Leave it to the BBC to get this character right.  The man who played Holmes, Benedict Cumberbatch, was brilliant.  The best performance of this character that I have ever seen.  Martin Freeman as Watson was also really neat.  I loved it.  With each episode being 90 minutes without commercials, it felt like I was watching a series of movies.  I have loved every minute of it.

But then I came on to YouTube the other day, and I saw adds for a new show on ABC.  It is called “Elementary.”  The premise is…exactly the same as the PBS series, “Sherlock.”  Sherlock Holmes exists in the 21st century, having never existed before.  Oh, and they have Lucy Liu to play as his new Watson.  And it is set in New York City.  But other than that, it cannot be argued that ABC has ripped off this concept from BBC and PBS.  This is…pathetic.  You know what really kills me?  I happen to like both the actor they got to play Holmes, and Lucy Liu.  They are both good actors.  But this is just pathetic!  ABC, what happened?  Did you just not know how to make an original story anymore?  I mean, of all the places to rob from, you stole from the BBC?

This should be telling to American audiences.  Telling of what the medium of television has become, save on cable.  TV has had this bad habit.  You see, whenever a formula for a TV show works, there has to come about a dozen other shows ripping it off.  When CSI came out, there was forensic cop show after forensic cop show, all trying to have their own little spin on it, but all feeling like cheap knock-offs.  When House M.D. came out, there was a plethora of medical shows about a brilliant but quirky doctor.  Just as with the CSI knockoffs, these felt just as phoned-in and crappy.

I am really starting to think that our ability to make quality entertainment is slipping in this country.  I mean, these diamonds in the rough that are being made are being ripped off!  Why?!  It takes away what made them so special.  It is a miracle to me that the shows in AMC aren’t being ripped off.  I think the only reason they aren’t is because they are just so different and so challenging to the conventions of TV that they can’t be ripped off.  Much the same way as shows like The Wire or Dexter can’t be ripped off.  Not by none-cable TV, anyway.

TV is becoming dumber and dumber.  And every time a smart idea is made, the rest of the industry has to come in and make it stupider.

So here, in my mind, is the golden question that needs to be asked – why are we watching this shit?  I mean, really, why do we not demand something better?  And the answer is so sad – because it’s on.  We watch it because it is on the big box, and the people can watch that and be like cattle, chewing their cud.  That’s what we are now, to the media industry.  It can make us dumber and dumber, and nobody does anything because that would require getting up and turning the TV off, or getting up and grabbing the remote to do that.

ABC, you are pathetic.  America, you are more pathetic.  BBC, good for you!  You made an idea so good, it had to be stolen!

Until next time, a quote,

“Television used to be kind of smart, and kind of dumb at the same time…and then, at some point, that just split.  And it said, ‘okay, intelligent television go over here.  Stupid television go over here.'”  -TJ Kincaid, Honey Boo Boo Who? 

Peace out,


Priest Forces Kids to Lick Whipped Cream off his Knees?

You know what, I’m not even going to say anything.  I’m just going to put up some pictures, and you all can decide for yourselves what you want to think about this.  I’ll give you my opinion after I’m done –

Is that one girl forcing the girl’s head down to lick that guy’s knees?

A lot of people I know tell me –

Lucien, why do you go after religious people?  I mean, come on, it’s just their beliefs.  It’s not doing any real harm!  And I mean, if they are happy with their beliefs, who are you to judge them?

After seeing this little tidbit, let me respond by saying – I’m a decent fucking person, that’s who!  This is disgusting!  This is totally disgusting.  These are kids in Poland, being forced by a Polish priest to lick whipped cream off his kneecaps, and also to crawl around on their hands and knees like dogs.  Here’s a link, there are more pictures there.  This is all I could stomach posting on my page.

After seeing stuff like this, let me just say that it is time for the Catholic church to feel the hammer of the law!  The Vatican has been documented showing how they have covered up and protected these disgusting sexual deviants from their crimes.  The Vatican has paid off rape and molestation victims and their families, often with the threat of excommunication if they go after them legally.  They have large files tucked away where they document everything, not letting it be released until long after the statute of limitation has gone out and the priests are immune from the law.

From the bottom of my cold little atheist heart, let me say that that is bullshit!  Psychotic, immoral, disgusting bullshit!  The Vatican needs to feel the hammer of the law!  The Pope should be brought up on charges of aiding and abetting criminals, along with crimes against humanity for the Catholic church’s condemnation of safe sex and abortion in third-world countries.  The Catholic church needs to fear the law.  Their little rapists priests need to go to bed scared.  If they can’t keep their dicks in their robes, they shouldn’t be able to be around children.

This particular priest is a sexual deviant, and needs to be a sex offender list.  They say that nothing sexual was happening here, but I refuse to believe that.  What’s more, he defends this by saying that this is “tradition.”  And worse than this, there are parents defending him!  What the fuck is wrong with these people?  What if this priest was having these kids suck his dick?  Would they defend it then?  What a horrible and degrading thing, and they posted these pictures on the school’s website.  My heart goes out to these poor children, whose parents allows this kind of abuse by not calling for the Catholic church to pay.

These people are disgusting, and this needs to stop.  And people like me will keep on this until it does.  Until we see the Pope in handcuffs, getting his white-robed ass hauled off to jail for the rest of his fucking life!  Along with half of those at the Vatican!

Until next time, a quote,

“I don’t know what bizarre shit this is, but this is disgusting.  Having kids lick whipped cream off of your kneecap.  I have to ask the question – if this priest was to ask these children to lick whipped cream off his penis, would they do it?  I ask this question not because it’s disgusting.  I ask this question because it’s a valid question to ask.”  -Mr Repzion, Priest Forces Kids To Lick Whipped Cream Off His Knee 

Peace out,


Do I Offend You? Tough S**T

Well, as with what seems to happen to me everywhere, and all the time, I managed to find a way to piss somebody off, and now it legitimately threatens my future.  It is yet-another reminder that I truly have no place in this world, and I may always be alone in it, and it is another reason why I wish that I had the ability to cry, but I lost that a long time ago.

Here’s the set-up – I was at work.  I won’t say where and I won’t say what I do, because I don’t need that coming back to bite me in the ass.  I’ll give you a hint – I handle a lot of books.  At this job, there is a lot of public who comes and goes.  Something that I have found when I am organizing these books is that many of these members of the public feel the need to leave little leaflets all over the place.  What is on these leaflets, you ask?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  What is on these leaflets are religious messages.  They usually follow the same pattern – that we are all horrible sinners, and we are all going to Hell.

So, why do I care?  I mean, I deal with that kind of stupid bullshit all the time.  Religion has always been stupid, and it will continue to be stupid.  Why the fuck do I care?  Well, in this instance, I care because I get to clean up this shit.  I have to maintain this environment.  I have to keep this place looking as well as it can, so that people will want to use our facilities.  And that is very hard to do when they are constantly coming across religious zealots having to shame them with their stupid bullshit.  And I cannot begin to tell you how many of these leaflets I have sent into a recycle bin for paper.  Yeah, that’ll show them!  Hopefully they get turned into a book by Christopher Hitchens!

What was different about today?  Another good question.  My, this audience is smart.  Well, today, I got to throw away another of these leaflets, but guess where I found it?  I found it tucked into one of the fucking books!  These jerks are not only littering my place of employment, but they are tucking their zealotry into my books?!  I wanted to strangle somebody.  Given the stress I have been under lately, you can imagine that my reaction to this was extraordinarily negative.  This was a step too far to me.

I headed downstairs, to complain to my fellow employees, the only people around who would listen.  I told them about this, and how annoyed this made me, concluding with this sentence –

I don’t care what stupid imaginary crap you want to believe in, keep your leaflets out of my *******! (name omitted to not have to deal with more crap)

Well, one of my coworkers caught up with me and told me that one of these no-skinned workers apparently got offended by what I said, and could potentially write a letter to the boss, explaining how upset she is.  This means that I could get fired soon.  This is definitely a woman’s workplace, which doesn’t bug me in the slightest, but I do know who the boss, who is a woman, and tight with all these women, is going to side with.  She will side with this goodie-goodie narc who couldn’t bring her complaints to me instead choosing to “potentially” run to her.

Bringing this back to the theme of this post – being offended.  I am not actually talking about myself here, despite this long and rambling story.  What I am talking about is people and their belief that their offense matters.

I’m going to give you a little heads-up that I don’t know if you were aware of.  This might offend some of you, but it needs to be said anyway.  Alright, are you ready?  Here it is –

You don’t matter!

That’s right, you are just another piece of skin, just like all other 7 billion people on this planet.  In the broad scheme of things, you mean nothing.  Your life will be snuffed out in a blink, and that’s it.  There is no afterlife.  There is no God.  There is nothing to hope for.  Once you die, that’s it.  You’re done.  I don’t like to borrow from idiots, but it’s true – you only live once (YOLO!).

This means that when you get offended and you choose to make your offense a matter of the public discourse, and decide that you will go after the person who offended you, blocking their ability to offend you, you are choosing to believe that what offends you is somehow really important.  But because you yourself are not important, care to take a guess as to how important your offense is?  Not even a little.

People who get offended by religious statements – don’t hang out with religious people.  People who don’t like gay marriage – don’t have a gay marriage.  People who don’t like meat – don’t eat meat.

But the moment that you decide that you are going to take away our right to say what we want, and to express ourselves as we see fit, then you are just another part of the problem.

But Lucien, this is a workplace, and there are rules of professionalism!

A valid argument, if I said anything really rude and to anyone in-particular.  This isn’t that.  This is a butt-hurt Mormon who decided that her religion is REALLY important, and nobody can have an opinion that it is all just imaginary bullshit.  Even though I wasn’t talking to her, or about her, or about religion at all.  In fact, what I said was that I encourage people to believe what they want.  I merely would like them to stop littering my workplace with their garbage.  How is that a bad thing?  The truth is that it isn’t, and now, I might get fired because she is going to paint the scarlet letter on me, making me out to be a pariah of evil and atheist zealotry, because that is how offended people do.  They don’t say what actually happened.  They make it all out to be a battle between good and evil.  Yeah, that’s bullshit.

Here’s the ultimate truth – we need to stop banning things.  We need to stop trying to curtail other people’s behavior to what we want it to be.  This PC culture that has taken over this country has got to go!  I am getting sick and tired of it.  We seem so scared to offend anyone, because we don’t want to get sued.  A cheap tactic used by the worst of us to make money.  I should know.  My cousin sued me for $165,000.  He got a settlement of $100,000 from my insurance.  Loathsome piece of shit.  But this culture of not hurting anyone’s feelings or challenging people’s beliefs, or just making the simple demand of people to get a skin at all, not even a tough one, has got to go.

It won’t, but damn if I don’t hope it would.

Until next time, a quote,

“Life may suck, but it beats the alternative.”  -Unknown

Peace out,


PC Liberalism and Islam

How are these two things connected?  Well, let’s take a look at what has happened in the news over the last couple weeks.  There has been an incident where a very crappy video was made mocking Islam and the their prophet, Muhammad.  This video was awful in every way.  Bad cinematography, bad acting, bad writing, there was nothing good about it.  However, in response, the butt-hurt Muslims who won’t let anybody have any opinion about their religion that is in the negative have been rioting all over the world, and have even brutally killed four people.

Meanwhile, back in America, what has been the typical response to this?  Well, ironically, more than should ever been expected, the government and the left-wing public seem to want to demonize these filmmakers, rather than the extremist monsters who have brutally killed four innocent people.  The question that should be asked when hearing that fact is – what?!  Why?

If two people are arguing over which Transformers movie is better (they all suck, but just go with it), and one of them decides to kill the other, was it Michael Bay’s fault for making those crappy movies?  Is he responsible for the murder of one person by other person?  What if the killer brutally raped and them eviscerated the other person?  Would it be Michael Bay’s fault then?  Of course not.  The fault is with the person who killed the other person.  So how is this opinion that the filmmakers of this piece of garbage schlock are being held accountable.

To get to the heart of that, one has to look at a new trend in America.  You see, there are two types of liberal in this country.  The first type of liberal is the kind who believes in fairness, giving power back to the people, and weeding our corruption.  They typically do not side with the Democrats, because they see them for the corporate slaves that they are.  Then there is the other type.  The type who wants nothing more than the help the Democrat Party, believe that these people are someday going to help them, and to make sure that nobody ever has hurt feelings.  As you can imagine, I don’t get along with this group very well.

After the video came out, large chunks of the American population came out in defense of Islam, saying that the filmmakers were in the wrong, and this was all their fault, and that Islam is a great religion, and nobody should ever be allowed their Free Speech rights to have an opinion about it.  That is what actual politicians in this country have said.  Don’t believe that?  Here is a quote from Hillary Clinton on the subject –

To us, to me personally, this video is disgusting and reprehensible.  It appears to have a deeply cynical purpose: to denigrate a great religion and to provoke rage.

Yeah, she is basically blaming the creators of this video for why four people were brutally murdered.  And while many liberals won’t come out and say it, the backlash against the video by the liberal community is amusing.  They are so dedicated to making sure that nobody is mad and nobody is upset that they are ignoring the glaring reality in the room – that this is what free speech is all about.  You will risk offending people.  You will risk making people mad.  You will risk people not liking what you say.  But in the end, the right to free speech is paramount, because if you censor what people can and cannot say, you are opening the door to a dictator taking advantage of that.  They will blanket it with being “politically correct,” but it is dictatorship all the same.

And now, another neat little PC liberal controversy has brewed after Lady Gaga went to a fashion show dressed in a burka-like outfit.  The idea being that she was making a point about how Muslim women are treated.

This needs to be addressed.  In Middle Eastern primarly-Muslim nations, it cannot be argued that women are treated as second-class citizens.  Don’t believe that?  Take a look at this link.  The Human Rights Watch has very good documentation about how primarily Muslim nations treat women in the Middle East, and it is abhorrent.  Yet because the PC liberal community doesn’t want to make Islam mad, there are people who will defend the idea that Lady Gaga is wrong.

Are liberals in this country just too afraid to stand up for anything anymore?  They won’t call Obama out on his lies, his manipulation, his expansion of the Bush Doctrine.  They won’t hold the Democrats feet to the fire for…anything.  Now, they are defending a group of people who, while not all of them are bad, it cannot be argued that many of them are zealots and that primarily Muslim nations have a disgusting mistreatment of women.  Anyone who will defend a group of people who mistreat women are scum.  that is what the PC liberal community is becoming – scum.  Scum who defends zealotry and misogyny.

Congratulations, you are becoming your own own worst enemy.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I am trying to go and fight for things that actually matter.

How to be a Pretentious College English Professor

I have been in college now for five years.  I am going on my sixth.  I have had a lot of teachers.  Because I am a journalism major, I have had a lot of English teachers.  And I cannot begin to tell you how many of them took themselves WAY too seriously.  I mean, this was on the verge of being totally insane how much they believed that what they had to say was of the utmost importance, and how they believed that their understanding of the subject matter was just the best.  I cannot tell you how many of them I have been annoyed with in that regard.

So, how do you become a pretentious college English professor?  Well, here are some simple steps which should get you there very quickly –

1. Believe that you have a complete mastery of the material you are covering, and anyone who disagrees with you is a dumbass.

I was sitting in a Renaissance Literature course once.  We were talking about a book that we were reading.  If memory serves, it was Utopia.  We were reading this, and the teacher had us talking about what we thought of the book.  Many people had thoughts about it, but I noticed something very quickly – this teacher had a habit of interrupting students right in the middle of them talking.  They weren’t even done with their sentence and he had to interrupt, acting like he had some REALLY important wisdom to impart.  Needless to say, a lot of students started to notice this, and a lot of them were rather irritated.

See, if you want to be a pretentious college English professor, you must be able to back up your mastery by saying how you did extensive studying on this work, sitting down for long periods of time and thinking about the depth and the themes and the symbolism.  So any student who says that they have their own opinion you can quickly shame.  Don’t think for a second that a book or writing is in any way totally open to subjective opinion.  No, that’s wrong.  Instead, think that there is a totally right way to think about something, and it obviously must be your way.  That’s a very good start.

2. Don’t let students have an opinion different from yours.

After all, what do they know?  They’re just dumb-shit college students who are paying you more than you’re worth to teach them hot to critically analyze a story.  Your way, of course.  The way that you analyze something.  Because you have a degree!  So that clearly makes you the more intelligent party involved in the discussion.  Again, ignore that pesky reality that fiction is open to interpretation.  After all, it was probably some idiot student who said that.  Not years of discussion of literature.

Oh, and to make sure that you reinforce this standard of having students try and learn your way, make sure that when you test them on the material, you hint at them that you want the answers that you would have come up with.  Because again, you are clearly smarter than them.  They are just young people with fresh minds.  Best to acclimate them to your way as soon as possible.

3. Speak in a passionate voice so that nobody else even wants to interrupt you.

I mean, what could be more fun than grand-standing?  It’s your class, after all, why shouldn’t you by the biggest and loudest voice in the room?  You are imparting the perfect knowledge that you have!  Don’t let those idiot students have a voice!  Discussion, who ever heard of that?  Why, yours is the only voice that matters.

But if one of those little upstart students should speak out of turn and interrupt, make sure that you brush them off as unpleasantly as you can.  Give them a mean look and constantly look bored by what they say.  I mean, after all, what could they possible add to this that you haven’t already?  If, by chance, one of the little upstarts does happen upon a good thought that actually does make you think about it, cover by saying that you were just about get to it.  Stealing from them is fine.  They’re just stupid students.  It was probably drugs or an alcoholic’s moment of clarity that got them to that point anyway.

4. See symbolism and allegorical reference everywhere

This is a big one!  See, when most people read a sentence like – “the sky was blue with not a cloud in sight,” they might be stupid enough to think to themselves that this is simply a statement of fact, or a descriptive bit of exposition to establish a scene for the reader to enjoy.  But you, with all your years of education and brilliance know better than that.  Why, that statement is a piece of symbolism about purity and virginity.  Why don’t the rest of those morons see it?  Well, that’s easy – because they don’t have your mastery of the material.

Yes, you have to have a very working understanding of what you believe to be the symbolism in each story.  Whenever a student comments that they don’t get it, show them your brilliant train of logic that got you there.  You’ll dazzle them and make them feel stupid for not figuring it out too.  Bonus!  You’ll be the king/queen of the class!  Nobody will ever contest you again, and if you should get one of those student who thinks that you are full of shit, well, you know what to do with them – fail their ass!  That’ll teach them to think for themselves!  If only they had listened to you, they wouldn’t be in this fix!

And those are the ways that you can be a pretentious college English professor.  Have fun being a complete dick!

Until next time, a quote,

““Pretension – The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you’re pretentious.”  -Larry Kersten

Peace out,