Musical Insanity: Vagina Anthem

I said in my last of these posts that I don’t get disturbed or at least have my attention grabbed by music that often.  It takes a lot to shock me.  I’ve become part of the mentally exhausted wage-slave class.  It sucks.  But here came something that has made me laugh in a very big way.

For those of you who don’t know, there is a thing called TERFs.  That stands for Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists.  They are radfems who believe that the vagina is the most powerful thing in the world and they will make sure that you know that too.  But if you are a trans woman either MTF or FTM, you better not talk to them.  The former being insults to the idea of the great woman, and the latter being their idea of race traitors looking to get that patriarchy card.  These people are so ridiculous, and I’ve honestly found avoiding them easier online just because if you engage with this insane monkeys then you’re doing it wrong.  But a favorite YouTuber posted this song, and it is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.  Let me share this with you.

I’ve said for many years now that modern feminism is a religion.  NOWHERE is this more exemplified than in this song.  I’m having to take breaks between laughing to write this.  Okay, let’s break this down.

They run the gamut about all the kinds of women that they are, so you know they mean business.  But then we get to the chorus.  They are women.  With vaginas!  And they’re here to change the rules!  Honey, the only thing you’ve changed is my perspective on TERFs.  I thought that they were someone to avoid just because I don’t want to argument, but now I know that you all are the cringiest fucking people in the world.  I thought that feminist “slam poetry” was bad, but it turns out their music is worse.  I haven’t cringed this hard in a while.  I wish there was a music video to go with this, but I’m pretty sure YouTube would delete it since it would be a lot of chicks who pride themselves on being ugly having their pussies hanging out.  Still kinda wanna see it just out of sheer curiosity.

Next up they say that they’re our mothers.  You ain’t my mother, honey.  She isn’t nearly as cringe-y or ridiculous as you.  I can actually see my sister becoming like this one day.  So you got one thing right.  You then ask what is wrong with me.  I don’t know, sugar-tits.  It’s a long conversation.  But they are sheros!  For those who are lucky enough not to be in the SJW spheres, that means they are she-heroes, because hero is a “male term.”  I love how dumb these women are.  Thinking that because something has “he” in the name, that makes it a male word.  There was a great post where a language professor absolutely destroyed a woman who thought that way.  It’s pretty great stuff (linked here).  This song gets funnier as I keep going.  I’m gonna die.

They are sheroes with vaginas!  That vagina sure is all they want to think about.  This is why people think that feminists are all rabid lesbians.  This right here.  This song is basically the anthem for everyone who has that mindset.  Given how they begin saying they are “angry dykes,” that clearly isn’t something they take offense to.  But I get the feeling the Laci Greens of the world would.

We go to the lame sing-talking that this song has between the funny chorus with the girl saying that she has opinions and us evil MEN are not going to silence her anymore.  Honey, I don’t wanna silence you.  See, unlike you, I believe in the free market of ideas.  Good and bad, I think that all ideas should stand on their merits and be judged individually.  Your idea unfortunately doesn’t even pass the fucking Bechdel Test, because all you bitches do is get into fights and yell about how bad men are.  Ironic that feminism doesn’t pass their bullshit test.  So you go on having your dumb opinions.  On the off-chance that feminists actually engaged with their detractors in a battle of ideas instead of just yelling insults, what a wonderful world it would be.  Ironically, as we’ve seen with Laci Green and the creator of the documentary The Red Pill, once these people start engaging in a discourse with their opposition, and start seeing nuance, their perspective changes.  Meanwhile, you all live in a fucking echo chamber.

Then we get back to the chorus and the levity returns.  Oh man, that was fun.  The lesson is this – feminists can’t poetry, can’t slam poetry, can’t rap, and now we know that they can’t sing.  And for those who are going to say that I’m a horrible misogynist, prove it.  Never have I said I hate women or that I look down on women for being women.  There are so many awesome women in my life who I have nothing but the deepest respect for.  But these types won’t pay attention to that.  They’re too busy praising their vaginas.

Until next time, a quote,

“God, salt…” – ShoeOnHead

Peace out,

Maverick

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SIONR: Anime Cheese in the Wrong Place

I’ve spoken at length about how I hate modern anime.  There are so many shows being made now, and they all pretty much universally suck.  The glory days of anime are long behind it, in my eyes.  Call me a hipster (I’m starting to accept that in some ways I kind of am one), but I think anime was destroyed by its own success.  Once it gained mainstream popularity (or at least infinitely more mainstream than it used to be), or rather became part of geek culture, it all went downhill from there.  The truly great anime from not that long ago became something that they wanted to recapture, but the problem is that animation studios are having to push out commercially successful shows with higher budgets and shorter production time.  It’s put terrible strain on animation studios and their employees that I genuinely feel sad about.

Wow that was a digression, wasn’t it.  My point is, I don’t think much of modern anime.  But my gay girly-mate has this new series that she is all over, and since FUNimation does this thing where they will simultaneously release dubs and subs at the same time (I refuse to watch subs anime.  I can watch subtitled foreign films all day, but I genuinely refuse to do so with anime.  So if the dub sucks, I’m done), she has forced me to partake in this series with her.  Won’t say what it is.  It’s one of her guilty pleasures, and that’s all I’m going to say.  I swear, the girl is punishing me for something.  Can’t think of what.

This series isn’t bad on a technical level.  The animation is actually pretty great.  It has this nice realistic aesthetic that I am kind of digging.  The perk of modern animation being glossy and realistic is that it gives series a quality of feeling true to life that old-school anime never really had without insane detail.  Now proper shading and less expressive faces give environments and character designs something that feels true to life.  Like this is someone you can get to know in the real world.  The best friend character is my favorite so far.

But the design of these characters being less over the top and toned down expressively means that when this series has some of the cheese that anime is known for, it stands out to me in a bad way.  A very bad way.  You have a character whose entire visual design is not at all bombastic suddenly going into a ridiculous expression that feels so out of place given the art style.  Every time it happens it feels kind of wrong.  I genuinely don’t know what this bothers me so much, but it does.

Let me give you a way to look at this that is more relatable.  You like Quentin Tarantino, right?  Of course you do.  Well imagine for a second that in Reservoir Dogs it cut to some scenery-chewing villain doing a song number.  Or if the characters with their perfect dialogue and delivery started suddenly going really over the top at the drop of a hat, only to then go back to their perfectly done dialogue again without acknowledging that at all.  Would that not catch your attention in a bad way?  It would me.

I have had a thousand people tell me that I over-analyze stuff, so if you’re going to come at me with that, don’t.  Trust me, I already know.  It just really weirds me out to have stuff like that going on when the scene is being played fairly straight.  And this series does.  It plays everything completely straight until you cut to some cheese right the fuck out of nowhere.  I will admit that my girly-mate’s series is starting to grow on me just because these characters are relatable in a good way.  At least the best friend is.  I love this chick.  Her commentary on the events transpiring around her is just the best.  This girl is basically me as a female.  Standing on the sidelines of the madness and then commenting on what she sees in a way that cuts all the bullshit out.

But like I said, this may just be me.  So what about you?  Am I on to something here, or am I totally off-base.  Maybe I can give this to you a different way – imagine in Cowboy Bebop if Spike suddenly did that silly crying face.  Or if Jet Black and the suddenly revelation face where his eyes go all huge and white.  Would that not bother you?  It’s so tonally dissident from everything else.  I don’t know.  If you are going to go with a more laid-back tone, that’s totally fine.  Hell, I dig it.  But go the distance with that.  If you want to show a character being shocked at learning something, you can do that with realistic expression.  If you want to have a motif, stick with it.  That’s all I’m saying.

Until next time, a quote,

“Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world.” – Jean Luc Godard

Peace out,

Maverick

Lucien’s Review: Shadow of the Colossus (Remastered)

I remember when I was a lot younger playing the original game on my old PS2.  It was a game that helped redefine the medium as not just mindless entertainment, but as a new art form.  It was a simple premise with some astounding execution.  Sure, there were some flaws, but the game did what it set out to do.  I don’t hold it as one of my favorites, but it is a good time.  Now Sony has come together to remaster it.  Does it measure up to the original, or is it just another game with a pretty paint job?  Let’s talk about it.

Like I said, the premise is simple.  A young man takes a girl who has died to a distant land, where he heard there is a powerful force that can bring her back to life.  The force says that if he wants to resurrect her, he will need to kill 16 colossi.  That’s it.  I honestly like that.  It doesn’t force a whole bunch of unnecessary backstory in there.  You learn all you need to know, and then the story plays out.

The first thing to say about this game is the visually it is a marvel.  The effects have been brought forward with astounding clarity.  It’s unlike anything else you’re going to see.  On the PS4 Pro you have the option between visual fidelity and 60fps.  With the visuals cranked up, this game looks unbelievable.  The marketing all pimped out how great this looks and they weren’t kidding.

It also has this mode where you can take stills of scenes for screenshots and you can mess around with the visuals of it.  That’s kinda cool.  Caught myself playing with it for some of the epic views in this game.  Got to have a lot of fun with that.  It’s something you can completely miss, but for those who want it, it is a nice distraction.

What you need to know is that this game is not only a very simple premise but there are NO bells and whistles.  This game’s entire premise is about killing the colossi, and that’s all you are going to do.  I am glad they didn’t have this be a full-priced game.  It feels worth it for the price they asked for.  If you are looking for a game that will give you countless hours of entertainment, you’ve gone to the wrong place.  If that’s a deal-breaker for you, stop now.

Since this game is essentially 16 boss fights, the challenge comes from finding the weaknesses of these monsters and then exploiting it.  Each boss is unique.  Everyone has their favorites.  Mine are the ones involving flying.  Both the giant bird and the giant sky serpent are phenomenal battles.  I like how they really amped up the visuals of the boss you fight in the water by making it glow in places.  Kinda wish they had done that for some others, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Here’s where I get into my biggest gripe with the game – one reason I was genuinely apprehensive about this was that I was REALLY hoping that they would fix some of the control issues from the original game that did NOT age well at all.  The biggest being the handling of the horse.  That thing will fight with you the entire time.  And I’m sorry to say that they didn’t address that hardly at all.  They made mounting the horse easier, but that’s about it.  It genuinely feels like all of their shift on this was to focus on the visuals and not on the gameplay elements that really do show this game’s age.  That is a problem, and one that keeps bugging you as you have bosses where you have to depend on your horse and it is still fighting you.  Very frustrating.

Overall, this isn’t a masterpiece by any measure.  It’s a fun game that you can put on to marvel at the visuals and have some fun killing creatures vastly larger than yourself.  I don’t hate it, I don’t love it, but it’s fine.  Kind of a short review, but I don’t really have anything else to say.  It’s good.  It’s a perfectly fine game that didn’t recapture the magic of the original, but was fun to play.

Final Verdict
7 out of 10

Peace out,

Maverick

Four Cowardly Cops in Parkland

Growing up, we always tell kids that they are supposed to trust the police officer.  That they are their friend and that they can go to them for help.  No matter what, the first duty of a police officer is to protect and serve.  I guess the FOUR Broward County Deputy Sheriffs didn’t get that memo.  Because while the school in Parkland was getting shot up, they stood outside and did nothing.  This is so infuriating.  It’s infuriating for a myriad of reasons.  Let’s get into this.

As I said, the story broke that four deputies in Broward County were at the scene of the shooting and did nothing.  They didn’t go in to help, they didn’t go in to try and stop the shooter.  They didn’t do a goddamn thing.

I’ve always had a theory that cops are full of some of the biggest cowards.  All of the stories that come out where you see video of cops killing innocent people.  Like the cop who shot a man seven times in the back, then was videotaped putting a taser on him.  You have the cops who kill people’s pets.  Like the cops who killed a family’s dog and then turned their weapons on the dog’s puppies.  The only reason that they didn’t open fire on them was because the neighbors begged them not to kill puppies.  You have the police who opened fire on a parked car, firing until their guns were clicking on empty.  There were 90 bullets shot into that car.  A ton of them went wide.  Lots of brave police in the force, aren’t there?

So I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that these four little worms are complete pussies.  All of this brings to mind that great line from Wayne LaPierre after the shooting in Newtown –

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

Oh really?  Well I guess these FOUR good guys didn’t get the fucking memo.  I can hear you say “you wouldn’t be brave enough to go in!   So why judge them?!”  First, I have no fear of death.  I’m not stupid enough to try and take on the shooters, but I’d be damn sure trying to help people get away or even take a few bullets for people.  Saves one more person that horrible tragedy.

But these people are paid to do this!  They are hired with the expectation that they are going to be there to do what is necessary in a situation that it is called for.  To sacrifice for the line of duty.  What’s these loathsome cowards’ excuse?!  I think of that teacher, who ran back in to the school to try and save as many lives as he could, and gave his life in the process.  He wasn’t armed.  He had no bulletproof vest.  All he had was the hope and a prayer that he could help people.  That man paid the ultimate price for his bravery.  Meanwhile, these four fucking deputies, what will be their price?  My favorite part of all of these things is hearing what their horrible “punishment” will be.  Leave with pay?  If they have Judge Dredd that day maybe it will be leave without pay.

Now we have President Reality TV Star wanting teachers to be put in danger without the aid of a bulletproof vest or proper training?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Four cops are too pussy to do the right thing and you want teachers to risk their lives and the lives of their students for this?!  Oh right, he’s too busy talking about how video games are the cause of the problem.  A statement that is not backed up by ANY scientific data.  Of any kind.  Watching the sycophants on /r/TheDonald try and rationalize this is too funny.  They have to slobber all over that retards knob.

I said in my last post that the GOP assholes who propose stuff like this don’t actually buy into it.  They just want that NRA money.  They just want to appease their brain-dead base.  You could lay the bodies of all the victims at their feet and they wouldn’t really care.  Now I know that I’m right.  We’ve reached a point where the parent now can’t tell their child that you can trust the police officer.  That they are your friend who will do whatever they can and give their life to protect and serve.

To those four gutless, worthless human being who have a gun and a badge in Broward County, yet were content to stand by and do NOTHING while a massacre happened, be glad that I’m not a religious person.  If I was, I’d think that there is a special place in Hell for people like you.  You had a job.  You had an obligation to which you swore an oath to do.  But hey, at least you got your health.

If I was the families of the victims, I would sue.  I would sue so fucking fast that it would make the Broward Country Sheriff’s office head spin.  This is their hiring standard.  They hired four pussies onto their force.  They were tasked with protecting and serving, and failed to do so.  I believe that is something that their department should financially suffer for.

Until next time, a quote,

“Powerless people who want to have power so they can abuse it seeking out a field of employment with virtually no qualifications to have nearly unlimited power over the lives of your fellow citizens.  What a strange situation that is, right?” – TJ Kirk

Peace out,

Maverick

Arming Teachers: The Latest Stupid Conservative Idea

Part of me loves how apathetic our culture is about violence.  We have so many of these school shootings now that we don’t even care.  Not really.  Kids all over the country do a huge amount of walk-outs in protests (props to them) and the establishment comes down hard.  Thankfully, in my home state, a bunch of kids did it and the school supported their rights to non-violent protest.  That’s admirable.  They even worked to make sure the walk-out wasn’t a security risk.  Cool.

Meanwhile, the gun nuts are saying that all of us liberals, no matter how reasonable our suggestions for tighter gun regulations are, are coming to take their guns.  No, numb-nuts!  I personally am suggesting that in order to have that gun, you have to have a license to own it, and that the gun itself has to be registered.  I think that in order to keep that license, just like a driver’s license, you should have to renew it every few years.  None of that steps on your precious Constitution that none of you fucks will admit needs some updating for the 21st century.  “I want me guns!”  Fantastic, you limp-dick loser.  Then go through the legal process and you can have them.  I am not in any way suggesting that we should ban guns.  Not at all.  Just make some red tape to follow through on.  Will it stop this from happening?  Nope.  But it will at least help the problem.  Did legalizing booze and weed stop people from using it illegally?  Nope.  But it has allowed the system to keep track of as much as they can and brings both alcohol and drug offenses down.

Oh, and President Trump has his own idea for how to solve this problem – arming teachers!  The latest in retarded conservative bullshit that we get to hear.  Trump wants to put guns in the hands of teachers to fight back against the bad guys.  Because you have retards like Wayne LaPierre who was famously quoted saying “the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a gun.”

Where do I start with how stupid this idea is?  Maybe I could talk about how you’d have to have all the teachers get additional training on how to use and properly handle a firearm.  I don’t want someone who doesn’t know what the fuck they are doing having a gun around my kid.  Hell, I have the same thought about the open carry morons, if I had kids.  Next, you want to put a gun in a classroom?  Where your kids are?  And if Little Billy the retard gets into wherever it is kept and starts waving it around and blows some kids head off, then what?  I can hear you say – keep it in a lock-box!  Yeah, like that has ever stopped a determined kid.  I learned how to pick locks getting into people’s stuff when I was little.

The school would also have to buy some kind of insurance for this.  Otherwise if something did go wrong (as it absolutely would), they’d be legally culpable for whoever got injured or killed.  At a time when schools can’t afford teacher’s pensions, textbooks, the insurance they are already supposed to provide, paper, printer ink, or to get enough teachers to keep class sizes manageable, they now are supposed to add this?

And what about the teachers who don’t want to have a firearm in their classroom?  Trump said that it should be incentivized with a bonus.  But Johnny Dumbshit isn’t gonna want his kid in a classroom where the teacher isn’t arm.  Or Debbie Not Stupid will not want her kid in a classroom where there is one.  Why is she not stupid?  Because there are so many things that can go wrong.  So having teachers have guns in their classroom will have to be an all-or-nothing deal.  So will the teachers who don’t want to have a gun have to be fired?  In a profession with the highest turnover rate of any other, we want to cut the job market down even more?

Finally, are we supposed to expect teachers to be able to handle a firearm when there is an armed assailant?  They have to handle their students, keep everyone safe, keep themselves safe, and be able to fire at an assailant who will be firing back without hitting their students.  What person who isn’t a cop, bodyguard, or soldier can be expected to do that?!

This idea is stupid and on so many levels.  I cannot begin to describe how dumb it is.  The fact that we have a President and people on Congress who believe this baffles me.  Wait, they don’t.  Not for a single fucking second do I buy that ANY of the people propagating this viewpoint actually believe it.

Here’s the thing about this government – it’s apathetic.  While you have the Rhode Island senator trying to put a tax on violent video games, and President Reality TV Star saying stupid shit like this, the reality is that you could lay all the bodies of those dead students and teachers at their feet and they wouldn’t give a shit.  Why?  Because they don’t want to lose out on campaign payments.  The NRA is a crazy powerful lobby, and they pay huge amounts of money to people to spread these retarded worldviews that you’d swear were informed by Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.  It’s all about money to these people.  And the little children get to pay the ultimate price for their greed.

What’s more, the American public lets them.  We are just as apathetic.  I had some homeless guy screaming at me that I’m killing him because I had to get back to work and didn’t want to buy him food.  It was a bummer to hear about him being hungry, but my break was almost over and I had to go back.  But I get home, and in a couple days, I’ll forget about this.  Humanity is so apathetic and dead inside.  The politicians are an extension of us.  And to prove my point about all of this, I’m going to close out on a fantastic quote that puts our government in perspective.

Until next time, a quote,

“Everybody complains about the politicians.  Everybody says they suck.  Well where do they think they came from?  They don’t fall out of the sky.  They don’t pass through a membrane from another reality.  They come from American parents, American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American business, America universities, and they’re elected by the American citizens.  This is the best we can do, folks!  This is what we have to offer.  It’s what our system produces.  Garbage in, garbage out!” – George Carlin

Peace out,

Maverick

Top 10 Movie Villains

I’ve already done a post about my favorite video game villains, so now I thought that I’d do another top 10 for my favorite movie villains.  I may end up doing my favorite book and TV villains, but that’s a list for another day.  Film has some amazing villains, and it is hard to have a list for just 10.  Feel free to tell me what some of your favorites are in the comments.  Me and my friend Quinn talked about this for hours and I have come up with my list of the villains who stuck out to me the most.  I want to be clear that when I say villains, I mean characters or monsters who meant harm to the protagonist.  So it isn’t just creatures with bad intentions.  Sometimes it’s just a creature doing what it does without any malice at all.  Let’s get started.

10. Sauron
Lord of the Rings
I just love that this villain has so much presence all without having a body at all.  The reason he is so low on this list given the pure evil power he has is because in the film they categorized him as having a giant flaming eye.  In the books he had no form at all.  His evil was absolute.  When I do the book list, he will be much higher.  But this guy is evil with a capital E, and can corrupt the purest souls he finds with the promise of power.  He nearly brought Middle Earth to its knees, hence why he is on the list.

9. Capt. James Hook
Hook
This guy is so iconic!  I’ve loved pretty much every iteration with him.  Even the live action Peter Pan film from the early 2000’s, he was the best part.  Granted, there he was played by Jason Isaacs, who can make evil just roll off the tongue.  But my favorite version by far is the one by Dustin Hoffman.  Hook was a great movie.  The cutesy shit aside, this film had everything right.  The casting was almost pitch-perfect, with Pan’s kids being the only problem.  They were insufferable.  But never has this character had more character than when Hoffman brought him to life.  He was manic, he was diabolical, and he was so damn classy!  Hoffman could make this guy into quite the charmer.  He can smash clocks to pieces, then rally his crew to battle.  This guy was so much fun.  Not all villains have to be super serious.  This guy had it all while being funny as fuck from time to time.

8. Sid
Toy Story
Maybe this is my nostalgia goggles on a little to tight, but when I was a kid, this dude freaked me the fuck out!  Sid is so delightfully evil, but the thing that really makes him stand out among the villains on this list is that he isn’t really that evil.  Something you don’t think about as a kid but do when you get older is that he is honestly just a kid.  He’s a weird-ass kid, but he’s still a kid.  I’m talking to boys for the most part now, but how many of you have horribly mangled or mutilated your toys when you were really little?  It doesn’t mean you’re evil.  It means you’re young.  This character isn’t really malevolent.  He is just an ADHD little shit who has weird hobbies.  But man did that kid freak me out.  At the time I saw the film, I was around Sid’s age, and yeah, I admit to being weird little shit myself.  Scary, funny, but never truly evil

7. Shere Khan
Jungle Book
Disney has such an amazing library of villains to choose from.  I could make an entire list just of my favorite villains from their library.  But one of the ones that truly stood out to me was Shere Khan.  Not just because of the AMAZING voicework.  I mean pitch-perfect.  This dude is such a badass and he knows it.  This dude has absolutely zero fucks to give because he knows that anyone who fucks with him is dead.  And the entire jungle knows that if he is mad, you are fucked.  But the way he can be so damn classy just takes the cake.  He never raises his voice, but you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he means business!  This pussy isn’t fucking around, and that’s what earns him this spot.  Scar wishes he could be this cool.  The scene where he interrogate Kaa is just the best.  He knows that the snake is fucking with him, but he just lets it go on.  So badass.

6. Predator
Predator (franchise)
It was such a hard pick between this and the xenomorph.  I knew I could only pick one.  But to me the Predator is much more fascinating of a villain.  It doesn’t kill people from some sense of malice.  It sees all other life as merely prey.  Does it care that we are sentient?  Nope.  That’s part of the fun.  We’re a lifeform worthy to hunt, and it goes after the biggest badasses it can fine.  A bummer that so many of the films with this creature are either really mediocre or suck.  I admit that Predator 2 is a guilty pleasure.  It hunts with violent precision, and will attack you no matter where you are.  It’s an apex hunter, that hunts the most dangerous game in the galaxy.

5. Mark Hamill’s Joker
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
A lot of people will be mad at me for not picking Heath Ledger’s Joker.  Or even Jack Nicholson’s.  Don’t get me wrong, I think both performances are amazing.  But here’s the thing, as great as both of them are, Mark Hamill always seemed to capture the madness so much better.  With Nicholson, you believed that he is evil.  Hell, he’s been playing that roll for forever.  And Ledger seemed to be trying to make a point.  But Hamill’s voice-acting was able to bring this character to life by having you never really being able to know just how insane he was, or how much he thought things out.  Violent, twisted, funny, and always having you guessing.  This character is iconic, and this film had him doing a great role too.  The scene in the councilman’s office was my favorite.  How he can go from being happy and taunting, to fearful for his safety, to twisted and evil in the span of a few seconds is just great.  There are a lot of great portrayals of the character, but Mark Hamill has always been and will always be my favorite.

4. Hans Landa
Inglorious Basterds
Quentin Tarantino has a real gift when it comes to making villains who aren’t just evil for the sheer joy of it.  He has this real talent for making three-dimensional villains who have a ton of depth.  I like it.  Nowhere is this more exemplified than in Hans Landa.  This guy is so damn charismatic.  He has all the class and charm of a gentleman, but has the twisted sense of darkness and evil of the biggest scenery-chewing Bond villains.  The thing I really love about this guy is that all of how he does is bravado.  Landa is in it for himself.  He’s a twisted, violent monster who can play it off so smoothly to Aldo that even when he is going to fuck him up, he still buys the narrative.  This guy is a twisted monster who can put on a sheep’s clothing seamlessly.  It’s pretty great stuff.

3. Hans Gruber
Die Hard
Another villain who is equal parts evil and classy.  Only Alan Rickman could have done this villain justice.  There is no other.  This guy is just the best.  He’s a cocky, greedy intellectual who is so in love with the sound of his own voice.  Hearing him play off Bruce Willis’ character is just the best.  Especially when they are in the same room together.  But this guy is sure of himself, and even when it all starts falling apart, he is cool and collected.  There’s not too much to say about this guy.  He’s just got the most charm that any villain will likely ever have.  It’s Alan Rickman at his most Rickman.  May he rest in peace.

2. Maleficent
Sleeping Beauty
Classy women who are evil can never, EVER be matched up with Maleficent.  This woman is badass with a capital B.  All it took is someone snubbing her by not inviting her to a party and she spins an elaborate plan to kill the daughter whose birthday she was not invited to.  The poise and elegance that this woman carries herself with is so profound.  Not talking about the live action version!  Fuck that movie.  The 1959 version of this character is what I’m really talking about.  I wouldn’t cross her if my life depended on it, because those who do learn very fast that the price of fucking with her.  When you do get under her skin, and make her mad, this woman will fuck you up!  Or your children.  No evil queen has as much presence as she does.

And my favorite movie villain is…

1. Velociraptor
Jurassic Park
When you talk about the apex predator, in my mind, there is not that can hold a candle to the velociraptor.  Not evil at all, it’s just a hunter.  But what it lacks in malice it makes up for in sheer cunning.  This creature will hunt you down and rip you to pieces.  The scene where the warden is hunted is just perfect.  He never stood a chance.  Before he even got started, he was dead.  These things are what nightmares are made of.  You don’t see them coming.  Their claws and teeth rip you to pieces.  You are still alive when they start eating you.  They feel no fear and you are no match for them.  When you’re out in the woods, alone, that’s what you should really fear coming after you.  Because once the hunt is on, it’s already over.  At least if you are the prey.  I love these things so much.  It kills me how the sequels fucked over the cool factor, but it is what it is.

What are some of your favorite villains?  Let me know below.

Until next time, a quote,

“Clever girl.” – Robert Muldoon, Jurassic Park

Peace out,

Maverick

Living with Depression

Today I had a very unpleasant interaction with a family member who decided that they are going to add their name to the list of people who have decided to tell me that my depression is a choice and if I just believe hard enough and think happy thoughts, it will go away.  I call these people idiots.  These are people, typically of an older generation, who have this weird idea about the nature of mental illness, and I now suddenly feel very bad for their child who is currently dealing with the affliction and wondering if they are telling him the same thing.  That is most unfortunate.  Hopefully he can surround himself with better people when dealing with this.

It’s no surprise to me that the family member in question is very, very religious.  The idea that if you just believe hard enough and think happy thoughts and your ailment will magically go away is an article of faith.  A horrible, horrible article of faith by people who either have never had to deal with this, or who have been indoctrinated by a society that really treats those with mental illness so badly.  Most recently saying that only mentally ill people do school shootings or other violent attacks.  Timothy McVeigh was many things, a lot of them bad, but if you watch the interviews with him after the Oklahoma City Bombing, he shows that he had a very clear rationale for what he did.  He believes the government was evil for what they did in Waco, Texas, and he was fighting back against that injustice.  There are plenty of people who have rationalized evil actions with a clear motivation.  Say how wrong it is, and you are right, but it shows that they thought it out and weren’t just some crack-addicted hobo.

Depression is an illness that is so misunderstood in society.  It kills me inside how so many people are so horribly stigmatized by it and treated so badly by their peers because of it.  I live with this every day, and I will be getting into it.  My goal here is to help those who are either suffering, or those who know those afflicted and are either unclear about what this feels like or are among the ill-informed people like the aforementioned family member.

I’ve had depression ever since I smashed my head open when I was 14.  My head met a rock going down a hill on my bike.  The person who found me was very reticent to call the cops, and I think that they might have hit me with their truck, but that’s a conspiracy theory that will never be solved.  I don’t even know where the bike I was one is anymore.  My depression is caused by brain damage.  I’ve had my neurosurgeon and a neuropsychologist do the due diligence and test to see if this is the case, and that’s where all evidence points to.  Because of that, this affliction is something I am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life.

Not all depression is like this, but that’s just my case.  For those who want to go into detail about all the various causes, there are plenty of quality resources to look into that I would recommend looking into.  Here’s a link to one, but there are lots of others and I suggest doing your research.

How can I describe what it’s like to live with depression?  Imagine, for a moment, that your brain is turned against you.  It is actively fighting back against every happy moment or good thought you have ever had.  That’s what it has been like for me.  The family member I spoke of said that I can choose to be happy, and that just pissed me off so much.  They do not understand what it’s like to be having a perfectly fine day and then to just have your brain do the thing where it makes you feel like shit and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.  It can come out of nowhere.  Or I’m having a very good day and then something comes out of nowhere that throws a wrench in it.  Even if it’s something small, there the tumbling down the rabbit hole goes.  Alice in Miserable Wonderland.

I don’t remember what it’s like to feel legitimately good.  Many months back, when I tried edibles for the first time, and it was really high in CBD, feeling the elation and actual happiness in my brain again, it was so joyful.  I cried.  It felt so good, that when the feeling disappeared back into this awful nightmare that is my day-to-day, it hurt me inside.  Alas, I’m too fucking financially conscious to go crazy and load up on the stuff.  That’s the thing about living in poverty.  It’s the same reason that I don’t actively go see a therapist or get on a drug regiment.  I already have to take meds for a condition I have.  Adding more to the mix is money I don’t have.  Not to mention time off work.  I wish there were shrinks around who were open when I get off.  But those visits are also money I don’t have.

When I have someone tell me that I am choosing to be sad, I want to beat them upside their stupid fucking head.  They have no idea how crushing this feeling is.  What it’s like to live with it.  But the aforementioned family member isn’t alone.  I cannot tell you how many friendships I have lost because of this.  I can’t.  How many people who I used to be so close to that now keep me at such a distance because of it.  I suppose I could lie a lot.  Be really peppy and happy and fake being well-adjusted.  I know that most of them would just turn a blind to the problem and enjoy that because as a species we would rather have happy things around than not happy ones.  It’s easier to lie to yourself about a problem than have to deal with it.  Speaking from experience.

My relationships across the board have suffered.  Friendships that dried up when they couldn’t take the negativity anymore.  No matter how loyal I was, that loyalty was NOT returned in kind.  Now matter how much I would go out of my way to help anyone who asked and is a friend, they would treat me like it’s too much to have the way I am around.  Then there are the romantic or sexual connections.  The people in my life who found that even though I was very happy to be around them and be in their lives, my depression snuck in and made my bad days very bad for them.  Once-again, I suppose I could have lied to them, hid it deep under everything and told no one.  Would make me a very popular guy.  But if I didn’t have the release valve, I probably would have killed myself when I was 17.

Which is another thing – thoughts of suicide.  Suicidal ideation is always in the back of my mind.  No matter how good a day it is, there’s always that little thought deep in the recesses of my brain that says that life isn’t worth living anymore and I should end it.  I’ve been fighting this for so long that I sometimes think about that line from Garrus in Mass Effect 3

But how long before the fight’s kicked out of us?

It’s such a struggle.  If I had a social network that was more eager to help, maybe that would make it easier.  Alas, I am born into a generation that will do anything and everything to avoid sad or negative things.  Everyone wants butterflies and rainbows, and the second that they don’t have that, they get very, very angry.

Maybe I should post on depression forums or something.  Find like-minded people.  I think that’s part of the problem.  People who don’t have to deal with this ailment just do NOT understand what it’s like to live with it.  They all just think that you’re not trying hard enough or that if you wanted to be better, you would be.  That societal misconception led to one of my favorite memes that I’ve come across.

People who don’t have this ailment don’t realize what it’s like.  To have your brain constantly fighting against you.  To be your worst enemy.  To hate yourself and think that everyone hates you at ALL TIMES.  To be trapped in your own head creating your own reality that has everyone not caring if you live or die.  No joke, I have that thought a lot.  Thinking that if I died tomorrow, virtually no one would miss me.  On a conscious level, I know that isn’t true.  I have truly amazing parents who have done more for me than they have any reason to, and I wish that I wasn’t drowning in poverty because of a job that I am woefully underpaid for so I could keep my word on paying them back.  As it stands, I doubt I will ever have a life that is financially stable enough to do so.

I know that I have extended family that while I am not close with almost any of them, they would be saddened by my passing.  I know that I have a few very close friends who would be devastated.  There are a couple of people that I have loved or been very close to that even though one of them hates me now for reasons that have something to do with depression, infidelity (not on my part), and the cost of being the rock upon which I stand.  I am sorry she hates me, but I understand the reason.  Even though she hates me, I know that she would still feel sad.  But this disease makes all that go away and those thoughts creep in like a cancer.

Depression sucks the life out of you.  It takes the things you enjoy doing and tells you that they aren’t fun anymore.  It has you desperately wanting to feel good and not being able to.  It’s an iron ball around your ankle dragging you down into an ocean of despair and you have fucking idiots telling you that you can just believe and choose to feel better and that will fix it.  I seriously wanted to scream at this person.  I wanted to tell them that I think they’re stupid and how I wish that I could subject them to how this feels for a week so they could understand what an absolute nightmare this is.

It doesn’t help that my crushing financial poverty has me not being able to actually seek help that I truly do want.  I don’t have the money, or the leave time, or the assistance.  I don’t have any of that, and I wish that I did.  I don’t have a social network that is supportive because I am part of the millennial generation that wants sunshine blown up its ass.  Worst of all, I’m having to fight back the urge to die even though I genuinely don’t feel like I am living for anything.  That is EVERY. SINGLE. Day.

What bugs me the most is that there are people like this family member who have this baffling idea that I want to feel like this.  That I am choosing to be this way and that I somehow want it.  I would give my last 40 years to have this go away.  I’d grab a hacksaw and go all Dr. Gordon on it with my foot if I could make the brain damage go away.  There is no price that I would not pay if it would mean making this horrible affliction leave me alone.  But that’s not how this works.  Not that anyone else would know that.

For those who suffer from this ailment, know that I’m here.  Go onto any of my social media or even leave a comment on here and I’ll talk with you.  Granted, that is opening the floodgates to be fucked with my trolls.  The Internet world we live in. Hopefully this can help some of you know that there are those out there who know what it feels like.  And for those who are stupid enough to actually buy the logic that if you choose to you can be happy, you are woefully ignorant and I am saddened that there are people who may look to you for guidance and you give them that bullshit.

Until next time, a quote,

“Because humans are complicated beasts. You believe comforting lies while knowing full-well the painful truth that make those lies necessary. In the end, Connor, it is not important what you think. It is important what you do.” – The Monster, A Monster Calls

Peace out,

Maverick