Dan Savage and Journalism Failure by Faith

As a journalism student, I fully intend that there are going to be days when I am going to be involved stories that I find objectionable.  I fully expect that there will be times when I will cover and event that really gets under my skin, but I will do so with the fullest measure of sincerity and to the best of my ability, because I am interested in what all great journalists are supposed to be interested in – finding out the truth.  The truth isn’t something that is only what you want.  There will be times when the truth is something that shakes you, and is something that leaves you shaken.  That is the nature of the beast with journalism.

However, a number of students at the National High School Journalism convention, this is something that they couldn’t handle.  Dan Savage was one of the main speakers there, and he had some comments about Christianity.

We can learn to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about gay people, the same way we have learned to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about shellfish, about slavery, about dinner, about farming, about menstruation, about virginity, about masturbation.  We ignore bullshit in the Bible about all sorts of things.  The Bible is a radically pro-slavery document.

What he said there is absolutely correct.  The Bible is a pro-slavery document.  Lincoln could have used some help from the Bible back when he was trying to free the slaves.  There is verse after verse in the Bible about how to treat your slaves, what kinds of slaves you can own, and even how you can beat them.  Not two words was taken out of context.

We have also learned to ignore a lot of bullshit that is in the Bible for the backwards-ass garbage that it is that is holding back progress, and is making life harder for people.  Of course, groups like the Westboro Baptist Church still wants to believe it, but they are nothing more than Christian fundies who are banking off of how much people hate them.  They like the hatred of others.  It gives them fulfillment, and also helps them earn money when somebody kicks the shit out of one of their people and they can sue the person.  Cheap, tasteless, and we ignore it.

Of course, while Savage was explaining this, there were a number of students who got up and walked out, apparently all offended.  He had a rather poignant statement about them too –

It’s funny, as someone who’s on the receiving end of beatings that are justified by the Bible, how pansy-ass some people will react when you push back.

Another complete truth.  I think a lot of Christians miss the days when you weren’t allowed or it was totally beyond the acceptable norms to argue with a Christian about their beliefs.  You couldn’t say that they were full of shit, because the communities at large would go against you.  Then came the internet.

On the internet, the Christians have no community backing.  Their arguments stand alone, and they have to defend them.  Probably 70% of all the Christians who I have seen talk to atheists eventually just give up trying to convince the atheist of their point and end with the statement – I’ll pray for you.  An easy way not to have to justify anything.

So now, with the internet, there is a growth of this community in the real world.  The atheists on the internet are no longer nameless people.  They have faces, vlogs and blogs and are willing to stand up to the Christian intolerance that still massively afflicts this country.

But what does it say about a Christian when they won’t even take criticism?  When they won’t even allow their point of view to be debated and question and criticized?  I get my point of view criticized all the time.  I will sometimes argue, but that is more because I like to argue than I think I should.  I have a weird enjoyment of doing it.  But Savage’s comments have spread to the Christian right and have been the latest phoned-in controversy that they can use to say that they are somehow being attacked.

The group GOProud said that Savage should apologize for his comments.  Why?  He wasn’t lying.  We have come a long way from when we obeyed ever ridiculous edict in that equally-ridiculous book.  The Bible does condone slavery.  There is no text in there saying that slavery is wrong.  Hell, it describes people as slaves to God.  But one Christian blogger wrote that Savage was using this as a means of Christian bullying.

It’s unreal that Christians in this country can ever claim that they are a bullied party.  Yes, because being a Christian in America is so fucking hard.  Isn’t it?  Don’t you feel so oppressed?  You get beaten and raped and killed every day, while getting quotes thrown at you from a holy book.  You get told that your existence is a sin and that you will burn in Hell for all eternity.  You are told that your parents should have their friends come over and “screw her (you) straight.”  Oh wait, that’s stuff that happens to members of the LGBT community.  My bad.

But let’s ignore that – what kinds of future journalists are these kids?  What exactly are they saying when they won’t sit and listen to Savage criticize their book?  Guess what, kids, but that is the job.  You don’t get to pick and choose the story.  You run with what you are presented with, and hopefully it all turns out okay.  That is how it works.  I guess that you didn’t figure that out.

This is a failure of journalism, and all of it is through faith.  Isn’t faith great?

Until next time, a quote,

“So, regardless of Dan Savage’s tone, or how terribly offended some Christians were, his underlying point is completely valid.  And it’s impact was only amplified by the incredible sight of devout Christians literally fleeing from the truth about their Bible and their own moral hypocrisy.”  -Zinnia Jones, Dan Savage is right about the Bible

Peace out,



My more intellectual thoughts on this subject.

Lefty on the Left

There was a video that was posted on YouTube by a channel called ForaTV.  They are pretty good about posting some thoughtful videos.  Whether you agree with them or not, they are quite thoughtful.  A very recent video had the former governor of Michigan, and the host of Current TV’s “The War Room,” Jennifer Granholm talking about health care in America.

It’s not a mystery that America spends more money on healthcare.  The amount rounds out to roughly $8,000 per person.  This would be perfectly fine, if what we were getting for our money was worth what we spent.  This, however, is not the case.  Approximately 45,000 people die every year from a lack of health insurance, according to a study from Harvard University.  Over 50 million people in America don’t have health insurance.  One of the biggest causes of bankruptcy is health care costs.  These are…

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Video Game Confessions: Olimar

Being a journalism major, and a future journalist, suffice it to say that I get around.  In my travels, I have met some of the most insane characters!  These are the kinds of people that most nerds only dream of seeing, and I have gotten to meet, in the flesh.  And, seeing as how it is late, there is soft jazz music playing, and I am feeling all deep and introspective, I thought that I would tell you one of my stories now.

Well, I was walking down the street one day, when I see a guy who I haven’t ever gotten to see before, and honestly never expected to see on Earth, Olimar.  I mean, oxygen kills this guy, but he is here?  That was kind of weird.  So, I walked over and introduced myself to him.  He seemed pleased to meet me.  I’m getting a reputation of being the guy who talks with video game celebrities.  And this was kind of a weird experience for me, seeing a guy who seems so out of place here on Earth.  I mean, he had that helmet on, because if he didn’t, he would die.  Now, he was looking a little bit chipper.  Or as much as he can.  These creatures don’t really look like much of anything.  It’s a little like telling what emotion Gilbert Gottfried is at any given moment.  It’s a mystery.  So I ask him, “So, what’s with the chipper face?  Something good happen?”  He looks up at me, because he is a really short guy, and smiles.

“Oh yeah, I feel great.  I haven’t felt this good in months.  I don’t get this kind of feeling all that much these days.  Especially with some of the gigs I get.  I’m telling ya, volunteering for Smash Bros. Brawl was one of the worst decisions I ever made.”

This kind of interests me.  “Why’s that?”  He lets out a sigh, shaking his head.

“Let me tell you, it’s not easy.  I mean, I had to go out onto those battles, and get the crap kicked out of me.  Getting hit by Link’s sword hurts!  Same with getting blasted by Samus’ missiles.  I swear, that bitch has a fetish with those damn things!”

This had me kind of perplexed.  “Well, seems like everything is going kind of wrong lately.  Why the smile?”  The smile came back, and he chuckled.

“Oh, because there is one benefit of being able to fight against all of the people in Brawl – getting to watch those annoying Pikmin get beaten up.  I use them the way that they should be used – as props to get the crap kicked out of them and to kick the crap out of the others.”

This suddenly had gotten kind of dark.  I look over, a little weirded out.  “You don’t like the Pikmin?  I thought you all were on good terms?  You were in a couple games together, and seemed to be on good terms.”  He nodded a little, but then shook it off.

“Nah, hate the little bastards!  I mean, for a while they were useful, but after a while, the little cretins were just hanging onto me like I was their dad!  Needy little parasites!  They followed me everywhere, and just when I thought I lost them, there they are!  It was just the worst!  They make those weird noises, and everybody thinks they are all cute.  Cursed little fungus creatures.  Or if they aren’t fungus, it sure felt like it.  Little bastards did seem to grow off of me.”

I nod, taking down notes.  I had my tape recorder, but best to have both it and my notebook.  He looked back at him.  “Well, that sounds even more unpleasant.  So if these things annoy you so much, and you don’t like being in Brawl, why are you so happy?”  His smile got even bigger, like just thinking about it made him happier.

“Well, a while back, I figured out a really good way that I could make use of these little monsters.  I figure, if they are going to always follow me around, and there never seems to be an end to them, why not find a good use for them?  It took me an age to figure it out, but I finally did!”

I perk up a little, as he had stopped for a little bit.  “What was it?!”  The smile got even bigger, and looked a little bit off to me.

“I eat them.”

This gave me pause.  “What?  You eat them?”  He starts laughing a little.

“Oh yeah!  I cook the little bastards alive!  I love it!  They taste great, you know!  It’s like eating lamb!  I figured it out when I just got so annoyed by one that I threw him on the stove.  He screamed, which gave me a lot of happiness, and after that, he suddenly was dead.  I decided that out of curiosity, I fould find out what one of them actually tastes like.  So I bet into him a little, and it was heaven!  You’ve never had a meat item like them.  I’m telling you, I haven’t eaten so well in months!

By this point, with the expression on the guy’s face, I am more than a little terrified.  I mean, he was reveling in this!  This couldn’t have possibly been more creepy!  “Well, so do you kill them before eating them, like farmers do with what they eat?”  He snorted a little at this.

“As if!  No way, I want to enjoy every screaming moment of hearing one of those little parasites die.  Of course, I don’t kill them all.  I have learned to go back to their world and harvest one of them whenever I am feeling peckish.  It’s like veal in that regard, all young and tender.  So yeah, I kill them living.  It’s a lot like killing a lobster.  The fresher, the better!”

By this point, I am absolutely appalled.  I mean, this guy is really enjoying this.  He sees my reaction, and scowls.

“Oh come on!  You can’t sit there looking at me like I am the devil while you are eating meat and enjoying it, can you?  I mean, there are plenty of cows that are slaughtered that scream for their lives, along with pigs and what have you.  We are doing the same thing, but I am just a lot more honest about it.”

It kind of hit me, he kind of had a point.  I love my meat  I couldn’t see myself going without it.  So am I a better person than he is?  I also like fresh lobster.  I sit there, nodding a little.  “Huh, I suppose you’ve got a point.  So, you just eat the Pikmin on your own?”  His smile comes back.

“Hell no!  I’ve got a jumping restaurant on eating them.  I take the strongest with me to Brawl, and I am making a metric ton of cash on the Pikmin dinners at my place.  You should check out our menu!  We’ve got Pikmin salad, Pikmin soup, Pikmin steaks.  We boil them, fry them, what have you.  Now, at the restaurant, they will slaughter them before eating them.  Pansies.  But when I make them up at home, I just listen for the screams!”

He got up and left, still smiling.  Before he got too far, he turned back.

“Always remember, you all are no better than me.  You just don’t want to hear the animal scream.”

I sat there, staring at the wall, and I really did have to think about it.  I don’t know if I will ever see a burger the same way again.

Peace out,


Today’s Sexist Bigot Award Recipient – Dominic Dieter!

Well, what else can you say?  What can you possibly remark to a person this sick?  First off, let’s give a little back-story to why exactly we are saying that this man is today’s sexist bigot.  You see, there is a shock-jock DJ in Cleveland, Ohio, who was written where a man was asking about his gay daughter.  Why the dad wrote this guy is a complete and utter mystery (and worth looking into, because he is at least partially responsible for what was happened, and what could inevitably happen).  Anyway, he wrote the shock-jock, Dominic Dieter and told him that he came upon his teenage daughter kissing another girl.  He asked Dominic what he should do.  Here was part of Dominic’s response –

You should get one of your friends to screw your daughter straight.

How many levels of wrong is this?  How horrible a statement is this?  Well, let’s take this apart in layers.  First, this man is a bigot.  There is absolutely no arguing that.  He is a bigot, and his hatred of gays and lesbians is laid out before our eyes.   But honestly, that isn’t the part really hits me about this.  The part that really gets under my skin is the fact of what this man told this father, this girl’s father, to do.

He is advocating that this man should, as her father, have himself and a friend rape his daughter.  What is wrong with this guy?!  Seriously, what part of horrible, dog-shit piece of lacking humanity compelled this monster to say something so horrible?  Does he have no shame?  Well, clearly he doesn’t, because he put this lovely nugget of bigotry out for all to hear.

The next issue that needs to be addressed is that there is no denying, this is hate-speech.  Now, I will admit that I have problems with the hate-speech laws.  It is so easy to look at something and call it hate-speech.  But in this instance, it can’t be called anything else.  This man is saying that somebody, or this girl’s father and her friend, should rape her.  That is advocating violence against another person, and I am calling a spade a spade.  Sick fuck…

Next, this is blatant sexism.  Screw her straight?  Yeah, I bet he wouldn’t say that to a guy.  Hell, given what this man’s moral values (or lack thereof) is guiding him to say, I bet with a guy, he would advocate killing them.  So yeah, he thinks that just some forced sex with cure her.  If that isn’t sexism, I don’t know what is.

So what should happen to this guy?  The first thing – I DO NOT want an apology.  America’s pathetic need for people to apologize is just worthless.  He isn’t going to mean it, so why do we want him to say it?  No, he shouldn’t apologize, because there is no point.  It’s just as worthless as when you were a little kid, and your parents told you to say sorry to the kid you hit in the face.  You aren’t sorry to that kid.  You don’t mean it for two seconds.  But parents, just like the American public, want to believe that it means something.  It doesn’t.

No, instead, this hateful bigot should be fired, and get to find out what real work is, not just working your jaws and saying hateful shit.  Maybe, after that, he can have a real respect for how hard life is.  But honestly, getting fired is just so nice.  Because the truth is that this man is ethically responsible for what he says.  We all make our own choices, but this man is an advocate, and let’s face it, the audience that he plays to is probably about as smart as a banjo.  A stupid and suggestable audience, you have to take some responsibility for what you say.

But the worst part, worse than all of that, is the fact that this man goes to show you just what is so wrong with this country and the poeple in it who are spreading hatred all over the place like a virus.  This is why the suicide rate among LGBT teenagers is so high.  This kind of bigotry is directly responsible for the pain and violence against these people, because, as I said, this man’s audience doesn’t have 20 brain cells to rub together.  And the bigotry spreads far and wide.  These people are making the world worse for everybody, but who cares?

Well, the fact is, not much of anybody.  The most tragic fact of all is that while Dan Savage and people like him will say that it gets better, it really doesn’t.  LGBT youth, I beseech you, get tougher.  Grow a thicker skin to this.  The thicker, the better.  These people are everywhere, and their hatred is part of our society.

Your parents are lying to you, saying it gets better.  I don’t have to lie to you like that.  I believe that you are stronger than your parents and society does, needing to force-feed you shit like that.  I believe that you are not the doormat society believes you to be.  It doesn’t get better, you get tougher.

And you can get tougher, and fight back against people like this.  You can educate the future youth to not take this bullying.  Fight back, and fight back hard.  Don’t lay down and take it.  Of course, picking and choosing one’s battles is the sign or real wisdom, but since you are young, you can get a reputation now of being somebody who will not lay down and take bigotry from assholes like Dieter.  You can stand tall and say that this man is nothing more than an empty shell of a man.  A thug who thinks that he is attractive, and tough, while he is safely behind a microphone.

Dieter, you are a piece of shit.  Everybody who likes what you had to say is just as much a piece of shit.  I have a feeling that you are a Christian, too, and I thought I would make a point that the faith that guides your bigotry can die, along with you.  Seriously, while I will never advocate violence against another person, if you got hit by a bus, the world wouldn’t miss you.  Douchebag.

Until next time, a quote,

“It doesn’t get better.  What the fuck are we talking about?  Why do we have to feed this lie to ourselves?  Why do we have to say it gets better when we know, god-damn well, that, no, it really doesn’t get better?!  We just get more callused to it.”  -TJ Kincaid, It Gets Better 

Peace out,


Egypt Legalizes Necrophilia? So what?

Yeah, I’m gonna catch a lot of crap, but honestly, I saw the story about this, and read the comments, and to be honest, I don’t get what people are getting so bent out of shape about.  For the two of you who don’t know, Egypt has officially legalized a husband being able to sleep with his wife, after she is dead, for up to six hours.  As you can imagine, I find that revolting.  I’m not against the people finding this whole interaction gross, because it is.  I think sex with dead people is totally gross.  But here’s the thing, so what?

Really, who cares?  Of all the problems that exist in this world, and are afflicting real people right now, where do you think Egypt legalizing necrophilia ranks?  Think about this – who is getting hurt in this transaction?  Not the wife, she’s dead.  You can’t hurt the dead.  Granted, it sounds like this person is violating the corpse, but that only matters if you have a belief structure that says that the dead should be respected.

As for me, I have no such belief structure.  While this activity is not one that I have any intention or compunction to partake in, I don’t care what happens to the dead.  They kind of lost the ability to speak up after their hearts stopped.  Once they were pronounced dead, they don’t have the ability to consent.  See, for me, that is where it all lies.  Is it consensual?  It is the reason that I don’t think that friends with benefits is wrong.  It is the reason that I don’t think that two consenting adults who are related having sex is wrong (so long as they don’t have kids).  If there is mutual consent, that is where the line is drawn.

But Lucien, after death, they can’t consent!

What is required to consent?  You are dead.  After death, you have lost any will or desire to have control over your own life.  George Carlin once made a clever joke about the “sanctity of life” argument.

 You know where the ‘sanctity of life’ came from?  We made it up.  You know why?  Cause we’re alive!

Life is only sacred when one is living.  After you become a corpse, you lose the ability to consent, and whatever a person wants to do with you is their business.  I may find it revolting, degrading, and demoralizing of a dead person, but it is your choice.  And I am here, in my country, able to say without hesitation that I find your actions to be disgusting.  But I support your right to do it, regardless of that.

The fact is that there are a lot more and a lot bigger problems out in the big wide world than the husbands of Egypt wanting to be able to have some post-death sex with their wives.  We have massive student debt problems here in America.  There is a massive economic and financial inequality issue that America can’t seem to solve.  There is problem after problem, and what am I having to hear about?  Fucking dead people.

The simple fact is that in the long run, this is a lot less of an issue than what is going on in the world right now, and we need to keep that in perspective.  Okay?

Until next time, a quote,

“Living people have a strong interest in promoting the idea that life is sacred.  You don’t see Abbot and Costello going around talking about this shit, do ya?  We’re not hearing a lot from Musolinni on the subject.  What’s the latest from JFK?  Not a god-damn thing, cause JFK, Musolinni and Abbot and Costello are fucking dead!”  -George Carlin

Peace out,


If Jesus Came to Your House…You’d be Really Bored

Well, this is kind of old news, but I thought that I would do a post about a song that I heard about a long time ago.  The name of the song is “If Jesus Came to Your House.”  It was and still is really popular to people who are into that kind of stuff.  I listened to the song, and it is unintentionally hilarious.  I am in a good mood, so I thought I would do something relatively upbeat.  Hope you enjoy!  Here is the video I saw the song in, and we will do this hit for hit.

If Jesus came to your house, I wonder what you’d do.

A guy in a white robe, a scraggly beard and long hair and preaches that he is the Messiah comes to my home, what would I do?  I would roll my eyes and remark that another drunk hobo is sniffing around my property.  I may call the cops, but since everybody is all about how peace and love Jesus is, I would probably just give him booze and send him on his way.

Oh, I know you’d give your nicest room to such an honored guest.

Uh, no, I probably wouldn’t.  He wouldn’t be an honored guest in my home.  He would be some guy in my home.  I probably wouldn’t even invite him in.  Since his dad is an egomaniacal judgmental genocidal maniac, I really want nothing to do with the guy.  Inviting him in would definitely bring trouble, which I don’t need.

And all the food you serve to him would be the very best.

Well, assuming that he has broken into my home, why do I have to feed him?  Isn’t Jesus really God? (A lovely paradox, especially considering that the Christian religion is supposedly monotheistic) Why do I have to feed the guy?  He can’t just clap his hands and make a feast?

And you would keep assuring him you’re glad to have him there.  That serving him in your home is joy beyond compare.

Actually, I probably wouldn’t.  I mean, if he is a judgmental dick, I would probably get very annoyed with his presence after a while.  I mean, he is a preachy guy who always thinks that he’s right.  Wouldn’t you get annoyed by that after a while?  I know I would.  There is only so much preaching that one can take.

But, when you saw him coming, would you meet him at the door,with arms outstretched in welcome to your heavenly visitor?  Or, would you have to change your clothes before you let him in?

It’s Jesus.  You need to wear your Sunday best for this guy?  If memory serves, he traveled with guys, just guys, and told them to take nothing but the clothes on their back.  I have a good feeling they all smelled pretty bad after a while, and their clothes weren’t in the best of shape.   So yeah, I don’t think I would change my clothes.  And no, I wouldn’t meet him at the door.  He could come in and chill out.  I’d introduce him to indoor plumbing.

Or hide some magazines and put the bible where they’ve been?

Okay, who just has their porn sitting out where people can see it?  I’m assuming that they are talking about that.  Of course, since Christianity has never been a big fan of science, I bet Discover or National Geographic would piss him off too.  In that case, no, I would still keep them out.  The idea of pissing off the Messiah sounds kind of fun.

Would you turn the radio off and hope he hadn’t heard?

Heard what?  What is Jesus’ taste?  What if he likes Chris Botti or my taste in music?  What if he is into Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga?  What if he actually enjoys Black Sabbath?  Or maybe he is a big fan of the Black Eyed Peas.  I don’t think that there is a bible verse talking about what kind of music that Jesus is into.  So yeah, you might as well leave whatever you’ve got on.  Though with me, I generally turn off what I am listening to when guests come over, unless it is soft and pleasant.  Rude to play something unless you are doing that with your guests.

And wish you hadn’t uttered that last loud hasty word?

What word?  What, did you just say “Fuck!”  or “God-dammit!”  What word does Jesus not like?  Is he one of the Knights of Nee?  Does the word “what” just act like kryptonite to the guy.  I really am curious what word just gets underneath this guy’s skin.

And would you hide your worldly music and put some hymn-books out?

O-kay, here we go.  Apparently, Jesus only likes hymns.  Well, isn’t he boring.  In that case, no, I wouldn’t.  I would culture that tasteless bastard.  Hymns are boring.  He needs to learn real music.  I guess being all-knowing didn’t teach him that.

Would you let Jesus walk right in, or would you rush him out?

Well, if he dropped by unannounced, I would probably be kind of annoyed actually.  The same with most anybody, save a few people.  I like to have some heads-up before people drop by.  It’s only polite.  I guess Jesus also has no tact along with being a judgmental douche.

And I wonder, if the Savior spend a day or two with you, would you go on doing the things you always do?

Pretty much.  I would go to class, keep up on the news, blog, watch movies or videos, play games, chat with friends.  I lead a kind of boring life.  Jesus would not have much fun with me.

Would you go on saying the things you always say?

Uh, no.  Right now, I say that Jesus isn’t a real character, since his story has been plagiarized from a dozen religions that were floating around the Mediterranean since hundreds of years before his story.  So, I would stop saying that, and instead say that Jesus is kind of a dick and judges my life in a very harsh way.

Would life continue as it does from day to day?  And would your family conversations keep up its usual pace?

Clearly you’ve never met my family.  Conversation has never been a big part of our lives.  It’s just how we are.

And would you find it hard each meal to say a table grace?

Why would I need to do that?  Why would anybody?  I mean, if you are a person who buys into the whole “Jesus is God” schtick, then wouldn’t you need to simply look over at him and say, “Hey Jesus, thanks!”  Problem solved.

Would you sing the songs you always sing, and read the books you read?

Since most of my music taste is old-school music, either jazz and classical, or old-school love songs, probably.  I have a feeling that if Jesus is this love-character that the Christians make him out to be, I have a feeling that he wouldn’t have a problem with that.  Oh wait, he only likes hymns.  In that case, yeah, I would still sing and read.  I want to piss Jesus off.

And let him know on which the things your mind and spirit feeds.

Wow, I love how much this song makes you realize that hanging with Jesus was suck.  But yeah, I would let him know where my mind feeds – politics, a good story, sex, and good food.  I think he would like all but one of those things.

And would you take Jesus everywhere you planned to go?  Or maybe would you change your plans for just a day or so?

Nah, he could hang out with me.  He could go to my classes, help me with homework, chill with me while I watch porn, watch me play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 because I don’t have another controller, and the watch more porn.

Would you be glad to have him meet your very closest friends?  Or hope that they would stay away until his visit ends?

Oh, I would love to have him meet my closest friends.  They would ask for really random stuff and see if he would give it to us.  Then they would screw with him and get him drunk and find out what the Messiah would do while plastered.  That sounds entertaining.  I would give him the really good booze, like this number I had at a place which was like a chocolate and banana milkshake.  So delicious!  So intoxicating!  I think Jesus would make a fun drunk.

And would you be glad to have him stay forever on and on?  Or would you sigh with great relief when at last he was gone?

Okay, I wouldn’t want much of anybody to stay with me forever.  People like my friend Emily, who I can always talk to and it never gets boring, she would be fun, along with some others, but yeah, I don’t want much of anybody staying with me forever.  So yeah, I would be glad when he left, if he was a dick guest.  Not to mention, this song kind of proves that Jesus is kind of a free-loader.  What a fail.

Oh it might be fun to know the things you’d do, if Jesus came in person to spend some time with you.

Yeah, you know, of all the deity figures, I would much rather hang out with a lot of others.  Like Zeus.  He would be fun.  And he gets all the hot girls, so I would be his wingman! (I put it out there that I am not that shallow) Or maybe the Volcano god, and I could try and find a virgin and sacrifice her to it.  Or maybe Death.  He would be fun to hang out with.  I mean, what does his job entail?  There are plenty of religious figures that would be infinitely more fun to hang out with than Jesus.  Hell, hanging out with Satan sounds fun.  At least he would give you a good time!  Jesus would just come over and judge your life.  Satan would be fun!  Of course, since none of these figures are real, it doesn’t matter anyway.

Well, that is the song, and I hope you got as much amusement from it as I did.

Until next time, a quote,

“It’s a sheep-dog song!  It barks and the sheep get back in line!”  -TJ Kincaid, Jesus Came To Your House

Peace out,