SIONR: Batman: Arkham Knight’s Third Act

I just did a review, and to do that review, I wanted to be as objective as I could.  That’s only fair.  But now I get a chance to be unobjective, and that is what I want to be, because I am SO annoyed at this game.  After how good Arkham City was, having dark and bittersweet elements that actually added so much character to everyone involved in the story, this feels like the ultimate slap in the face.  I’m about to spoil the shit out of the third act of this game, by the way, so if you are so eager to see it for yourself, don’t read on.  Fuck this game.

For starters, the reveal of the Arkham Knight was such a let-down!  It didn’t help that they basically made it clear who he was going to be earlier.  I mean, showing his entire story with the Joker?!  Come on!  Not to mention, the Red Hood story’s been done!  Why take all this potential with a NEW character and then just flush it down the fucking drain with an old one?!  You could have had Damian Wayne, or Anarky.  Part of me was hoping to see Anarky again in this game.  There were so many interesting twists that could have been done with this character.  Have some cool backstory.  But no.  Instead, they go the cliche route.  It was almost too much to stomach.  My interest in this game died the instant I saw that the Knight was revealed to be Jason Todd.  All that wasted potential.

Speaking of – why does nothing bad happen in this game?!  Am I the only one who is frustrated?!  Everything turns out okay!  Batman saves the day!  Sure, his identity is revealed, but that’s alright!  Not one person has a problem with it.  Because he sure is such a hero, isn’t he?!  Ugh!  First, Oracle’s alive!  But uh-oh, Robin was kidnapped!  I wonder what will happen to him?  It’s such a fucking mystery.  Then, they have this bit where they go into Bruce’s mind and you see his final struggle with the Joker.  Because that isn’t old hat at all.  For real, it was like the final showdown between the Dark Prince and the Prince in Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones.  I hated that ending too.  Is there a single game that is willing to bump up the darkness?  Is there a single game that is willing to admit that sometimes not everything turns out okay?  I wouldn’t be so mad right now if it weren’t for the fact that the entire fucking game basically just goes – don’t you worry, audience.  You’re Batman.  Batman never loses in any way.  Except in that last game, where he actually lost in a lot of ways.  Let’s pretend that didn’t happen!  Perhaps I should have seen it with the game’s marketing.  That whole “Be the Bat” crap.  Annoying…

Perhaps you think that I’m overthinking this.  But the last game did this so well!  It showed that there was darkness to this character.  Batman had some qualities about himself that were bad, and he was willing to do bad things to achieve his goals.  He had a dark kind of kinship with the Joker, where, in his final moments, the two share a joke.  That was good!  This was not.  This was the ultimate – don’t worry, everybody.  We won’t be going back there again.  Bittersweet?  This is the end of the franchise!  We have to end on a high note, right?!  You an end on a high note, yet still have the ending at least acknowledge that shit can happen.  But nobody died.  Nobody even has lasting damage.  The Arkham Knight even becomes a good guy.  Hooray!

My expectations were so high with this game.  The final game, where Scarecrow invites everybody to a meeting..  I expected this game to have the full monty of cast.  Show us some old favorites, and introduce us to new people.  It would be bigger, more dangerous.

Which brings me to my last problem – why the fuck is the Challenge Mode gone?!  That is such bullshit!  I could honestly weather how bad this game is, if I at least had that.  If I had the Challenge Mode, where I could have some fights and whatnot.  I downloaded the Harley Quinn and Red Hood DLC, and part of me thought that that would mean that we get to see them in the Challenge Mode.  I was even more excited when I saw that Red Hood has guns!  I can kill people?!  Sign me up!  A cool look and everything, this was an awesome character!  So why can’t I play with him and Harley in Challenge Mode?!  Why on Earth was something that basic not in your fucking game?!  Oh, right, so you could have “AR Simulations”, which let you drive around with the Batmobile and other dumb shit.  All the wasted potential.

This game’s story is bad, and thanks to the lack of Challenge Mode, the replayability is next to nil.  If you like the way all this turned out, fine.  Good on you.  For real, like what you do and don’t let naysayers like me bother you.  But I am so disappointed.  So much about this game disappointed me, and now it’s too late.  Fuck it.  I’ll have this vision of the perfect game in the back of my mind, and part of me will always hope that, someday, I’ll see it.

Until next time, a quote,

“Well, here’s the thing. Answers don’t give you everlasting satisfaction, sometimes you have to brace yourself for disappointment. Now think about it. Imagine your favorite TV show. You’ve been through it all. The ups, the downs, the crazy coincidences, and then: BANG! They tell you what it’s all about. Would you be happy? Does it make sense? How come it all ended in a church?”  -Joker, Batman: Arkham City

Peace out,


Lucien’s Review: Batman: Arkham Knight

Batman Arkham KnightTwo things to clear up before we get too far into this.  First, I got this game on console, so all that stuff with the bullshit on PC, I didn’t have to deal with that.  I am judging this game based on what I have seen and played.  Take that for whatever you will.  Second, I am a story-seeker with games.  A good story is the thing that hooks me.  It can make or break a game for me.  I want you to keep that in mind when I talk about this game, because it will help you understand the score I have given it.

When I first played Arkham Asylum, I was enraptured.  So many cool characters!  Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy reprising their iconic roles!  Everything was so perfect!  Well, okay, there were some hiccups along the way.  Gameplay elements that didn’t work so great.  Oh, and some of the boss fights were a touch predictable.  But if you can handle that, then you were set.  It was the first game of its kind.  A stealth superhero game that wasn’t crap.  In a league all its own.  Then came Arkham City.  If the first game was good, this game was SO much better!  It set the standard for any and all superhero games that I will EVER see.  Ever!  And you know what, I actually liked Arkham Origins too.  It wasn’t as great as the game before it, but it was still a solid experience.  A lot of that was thanks to Troy Baker taking the reigns as the Joker.  He owned that role in a way that only he could.  Was it a lot like the last game?  Yes, but it was still solid.

My expectations for the final game in the franchise were beyond sky-high.  I wanted this game to be the grand finale!  I wanted it to have the whole cast returning to cause trouble, along with some new people.  I wanted to see some of my favorites, like Anarky.  Maybe they could FINALLY give Harley Quinn a role in the game where she isn’t played like a joke.  Where her role isn’t something pathetically stupid.  The trailers came out, and they have this character – the Arkham Knight!  He looks cool.  He kicks Batman’s ass.  My expectations were through the roof!  And…this game disappointed in a lot of ways.  It’s a good game, don’t get me wrong, but this is NOT the game I wanted.  Not even close.

But let’s talk about what this game gets right.  The visuals are a cut above the rest.  It truly looks next-gen, in places.  There were some set-piece moments that had my jaw on the floor.  It’s not Bloodborne levels of beauty, but it’s impressive all the same.  This game will get you, on visual fidelity alone.

Then there’s the voice acting.  This game brought some A-list cast, even if SO many of them are under-utilized.  They didn’t get Arleen Sorkin to reprise her role as Harley Quinn, but you know what, I’m cool with that.  The person they got wasn’t quite as annoying as in Arkham City.  They even brought back a cast member who I thought was gone, and had said that he was out of the series.  That was a bit of a shock.  At first, I thought it was a reveal too soon.  But it grew on me after a while.  That game has a great cast, and it is fun to hear them doing their iconic roles.

The stuff controlling the Batmobile is…pretty cool, for the most part.  But then there is this one area, close to the end of this game, where that car is the biggest pain in the fucking ass that has ever been.  No joke, I lost my shit with that vehicle more than once.  It gets very frustrating.  However, when it is out in the open, and they give you the ability to travel freely, it is cool.

Now, on to what you all are probably waiting for, if you like reading negative material.  The problems.  This is gonna get a little long.  If you are expecting me to rip into this game, don’t hold your breath.  I will say that I am very disappointed.  But it is still a fun game.  This game makes me think back to Arkham Origins.  It’s fun, but fun to a point..  In fact, so much of this game reminds me of that one.  Did the people who made it come on board this team?

I was expecting this game to be so much bigger and better than the last!  The explorable area in this game was less than Origins!  I shit you not!  Or maybe it just seemed that way, with the break-neck speeds of the Batmobile.  Still, I expected to have all of Gotham as my playground.  For this game taking up over 50 gigs on my PS4, I figured that I was going to have the city as my toybox to play with.  A smaller area wouldn’t be so bad, if there was more to do there.  But there wasn’t  There just wasn’t!  It is so annoying how little there was to do here.  Which brings me to my second problem…

This game was so lacking in characters! When Poison Ivy said that Scarecrow had a meeting and everyone was there, I expected this game’s cast to be fucking epic!  But it’s not!  That’s so frustrating, to me.  I was hoping that maybe we could see some new characters.  Like Babydoll or Ventriloquist. Or Great White Shark.  Part of me was really hoping that the Arkham Knight was Anarky.  A little older, and more seasoned.  He learned from his beating and then came back, more determined than ever.  There were so many places that this game could have shined in every way, but it just plain didn’t.  Every piece of great opportunity was wasted.  Or hell, maybe it will be in that stupid fucking Season Pass.  I hate that crap.  You have to pay more money to get the whole game.  That’s bullshit.

Oh, and get this – no more Challenge Mode!  What the fuck?!  You bring in Catwoman, Nightwing, Robin, Harley Quinn and even Red Hood into this game!  Why is there no Challenge Mode to play with them?!  That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.  One of my biggest fun points in Arkham City was the Challenge Mode, and seeing how well I could do.  Believe it or not, Robin was my favorite character to play in those.  Nightwing was a close second.  With the cool bits with Harley and Red Hood, they made combat with them feel cool!  Why on Earth am I not seeing more of them?!  Why make their parts in the game so miniscule?!  Why does this game feel half done?!

Speaking of half done, I won’t spoil who the Arkham Knight is, but the reveal of that character was so awful!  I saw it coming from a mile away!  The game even goes out of it’s way to pretty much have a cutscene where you might as well have a giant light saying, “he’s the villain!”  This was so uninspired!  They had some moments of good build-up for this character.  There is this great cutscene where the Knight and the Bat are going mono-a-mono, seeming to be evenly matched, and when Batman thinks he is getting the upper hand, he asks in a way that seems both furious and desperate, “who are you?!”  But this reveal was terrible.  I won’t spoil it, for the people who do want to know, but if you pay attention to the plot, it literally has a spotlight when it wants you to know who this guy is.  Just another chance for something creative, where it totally goes to shit.  What’s more, it feels like riffing on something else.  A DC animated film that I think is pretty awesome.  I wonder if they got the same guy to reprise his role.  Huh.

What was I hoping for with this character?  I was hoping that they would have something like in Metal Gear Solid 4, where you return to Shadow Moses.  After he’s beaten Scarecrow, and he’s got almost nothing left, he gets a last message from the Arkham Knight, telling him to go to the Asylum, and that’s where they finish it.  Both of them are beaten and broken.  They kick the shit out of each other, and that’s when Batman finally finds out who this guy is.  You have the Bat coming to terms with just how awful it all is, and having to face of who he has become.  Maybe give Harley a chance for some cruel revenge.  Like after everything is sorted, she shows up and puts a bullet through Batman’s chest.  Doesn’t that sound intense?!

In fact, this game goes so far out of its way to not have any legitimate darkness!  They hint at dark things, but it all works out in the end.  Oh boy!  That’s so wonderful!  Isn’t that just great?!  Because dark elements that work out in bittersweet ways might make the story more engaging.  Can’t have that!  This is a superhero power fantasy!  And we all know that in those, the hero always wins and nothing ever truly happens to cause him to maybe grow as a person.  Oh, sure, in the previous game, the city was falling apart, your girl was dead and the closest thing you had to a friend was in your arms as you left the theater.  But that’s was just a fluke!  Now we’re back to formula!

Let me say again – do not take this as me thinking that this is a terrible game.  All things considered, it’s not.  But it isn’t the game I was hoping for.  Not even close.  After how dark and serious the previous game got, with all the elements in it, and even a great twist at the end, I was hoping that more would come from it.  Instead, this game was a step backwards.  And now the franchise is done.  What a pity.  But for the best, I guess.  They could only make it worst from here.  Maybe their next game will be better

Final Verdict
6 out of 10

Peace out,


An Ode to Fabio

Woe be the nickname I hath stricken you with
Thine art heard it before knowing who it referred to
In the moving picture with the little fish who was lost
Thine hath been flattered by the comparison
However unfitting though it may be

Thou art the leader of thine family
Strong and noble in thou actions
Be it hunting the wild moose, or flaw in the smoking carriage
Thou hath done many things
Most of which are rather impress, though some…not so much

Verily I say, the patriarch has been a proud teacher
Whether it be the endless spiel about safety in smoking carriages
Or safety in the smoking sled
Thou art’s wisdom lingers with us, and shall until the end of our days
Lest we end up a carriage driver like the Mother, Spirits forbid

Many adventure into faraway lands, thou hast undertaken
Whether it be the island paradise of Kona, or the wet beaches of Seward
Thou hast conquered the mighty salmon!
Many times over
Bringing home a banquet to feed thine family

Wherever thou travels, he does not go alone
Indeed, there is a large white hound who follows
Never far from his master, the loyal mutt goes
He even layeth upon thine lap when thou watches moving pictures
A privilege that was unheard of, in your younger years

Thou takes great comfort in the moving pictures
But there be-ith a man whom you take great offense
He speaks of weather, in a way you find unsatisfactory
Yet thy son finds him quite knowledgeable.
Woe be this dichotomy in the home!

In the future, thou plans to rest from employment
Verily, the wife hopes that thou art find other things to do
Lest you get up in her business and she doth strike you, roughly
Unto thine retirement, good fortunes be
Tho, in all seriousness, do find things to keep thou busy

Thine does not like the son’s cat
Thou art not give her enough attention
Nor the wife
It must be constant
For she is a cat

Yet, in this year of our Lloyd, let us reflect on thine accomplishments
Thou art built a three-story home!
Almost by oneself!
Thou art had two children
One smarmy and charming and writing this Ode

And yet, as the year continues, let us hope for better things
That thou will find peace and contentment
Tho, as is more likely, thou art shall complain about all the things that need doing
Because it’s not as if you have plenty of time
Like, all that retirement time

With that in mind, we say – a happy fatherly day to you, man with the nickname – Fabio
And to all the other fathers, may yours be good as well
But not as good as his
Just saying, he has seniority

Until next time, a quote,

“Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no fibs.”  – Oliver Goldsmith

Peace out,


Is Gaming Hype Wrong? (A response to George Weidman)

Something you all should know about me – I am a HUGE Kingdom Hearts fan.  I know, it’s shocking, what with my two Top 10 lists about worlds and characters I want to see in Kingdom Hearts III.  When me, my cousin Griffin and my girly-mate Mandy got to the end of Kingdom Hearts II, the three of us were excited beyond belief at where the franchise went next.  We talked, long into the night, about what we wanted to see.  What Disney worlds we were eager to see brought to life.  This was when Pixar was in its hayday, so we wanted to see some of their worlds.  Still do, actually.  So much eagerness.  Young passion that was stoked.  Then we waited.  And we waited.  And we waited.  But it never came.  It never was talked about.  There were handheld games after handheld games, but they all felt like something tacked on.  Aside from Birth by Sleep, that is.  Eventually, our hopes kind of faded and we moved on.  Granted, the three of us aren’t a trio anymore.  In fact, my cousin, the brother I never had, is dead to me.  And my girly-mate has kind of gone in her own direction, and I in mine.

However, when I saw a teaser at E3 last year, that finally showed me that Kingdom Hearts III was coming, I was over the moon!  So much excitement!  The franchise I grew up with was back!  And it looked better than ever.  But that was a teaser.  I wasn’t about to get very excited until I saw some gameplay.  At this year’s E3, I saw just that.  And it looks amazing!  The visuals are astounding.  The gameplay looks smooth.  The world looks massive.  I would have liked to see more worlds, but still.  Everything I saw gave me confidence that this game was going to own.  I can’t wait to see what comes next!  That childlike love was back, and I don’t regret that.

Today, I saw a video on a channel that I am subscribed to on YouTube, called Super Bunnyhop.  It is run by a guy named George Weidman.  In it, he lamented this year’s E3, and made a lot of stabs at the industry and those who consume this, like what we are watching is wrong, and our endorsement of what E3 represents is wrong as well.  I think I’ll let him state his case.  That’s only fair.

An interesting case, he makes.  I don’t always agree with George on his opinions.  But that’s a good thing.  It’s good that I can listen to someone I don’t always agree with and at least be open to their opinion.  Unlike the SJW crowd, I don’t live in an echo chamber.  Alternate opinions can give you new perspectives, and that’s a good thing to have in life.  Still, I don’t always agree with his opinions, and in this case, I felt the need to voice my discontent.

Here’s the thing, George, I am with you on a lot of parts of this.  There is a lot of bullshit associated with E3.  The spectacle can take priority over the quality of content.  Gaming companies can spend inordinate amounts of time whoring themselves out to their consumers.  But, that’s kind of the point of this event, isn’t it?  To reach out to consumers and promote your material?  Sure, they could do it in a less gimmicky sort of way, but this entire event is to showcase gaming.  What’s wrong with that?  What’s wrong with an event that promotes video games and allows gamers to come and see what they want to see up close?  Is it because of all the bullshit?  I’d actually get your argument, if it is.  Might even be with you, to a point.  If we could just cut the fat and the grand-standing at E3, that would be excellent.

That doesn’t sound like the argument you’re making, though.  It sounds like you’re getting on gamers for participating in this at all.  Like it is gamers’ fault that we get excited about new games.  Yeah, the teaser for the Final Fantasy VII remake was just a teaser.  Just like the teaser for Kingdom Hearts III was just a teaser last year.  Just like a movie teaser is just a teaser.  These things exist for that purpose – to tease.  To get people talking.  Then, you have a trailer from the game itself, and we get more context.  That gets people talking even more.  It’s called the hype train.  When done well, it gives people enough information to give them a general sense of wonder, yet leaves room for surprises.

I can hear the counter-argument – but come on!  Look at how many games pretty much spoil everything in their promotion!  Again, I agree with that.  There can be a little too much advertisement.  That’s a hype train not done well.  When gamers know everything to expect from a game.  There are also the ones that give us false expectations.  That was the problem with last year, and the big games like Watch Dogs and Destiny.  There was too much hype, for games that were not bad, but not that great either.  Rather run of the mill.  Though, honestly, if our expectations had been a little lower, do you think we would have been as bothered by that.

The thing I take the most umbrage with as at the end of the video.  When you say that it’s better to just go into something blind.  I disagree with that.  Rather strongly.  This is our money we’re risking.  You don’t think that maybe we should get some idea where our money is going?  I get that AAA companies have no obligation to tell us, but it’s in their best interests.  Do you really want to spend money on a game without having some idea that your money is being well spent.  But I can hear – that’s why reviews are made!  I majored in Journalism and Public Communication, George.  I got my Bachelor’s in it.  Wanna know something – I learned about marketing.  To this day, do you know what the best form of marketing is – word of mouth.  It does more to sell a product than any review will EVER do.  I like watching Angry Joe or even you talk about a game, but the truth is that I often look at a game’s trailer and gameplay footage and judge for myself whether or not I think it will be a good game.

It’s the reason that I am now enamored with the game Life is Strange.  I saw the trailer, and heard people talking about how it was “SJW: The Video Game.”  I got annoyed at that statement, because nobody had even played the game yet.  Later on, the SJWs would actually be annoyed at the game because it is written by men.  Go figure.  But the trailer intrigued, and I wanted to see more.  That’s how the game got me.  And I’m glad that I did see that trailer.  If I hadn’t, then I might never have known.

There’s nothing wrong with getting people interested in a product.  That’s how you sell anything.  If nobody hears about a game, and then somebody sees it on the shelf, do you think they are going to play it?  Or do you think that they will see the trailer, as I did, and then think – I think I might like that game!  If they do, then they tell their friends, and the word of mouth chain grows.

I think the problem that you have is the spectacle.  And I’m with ya.  Really, I am.  There is too damn much of it.  But, I am not about to guilt gamers for loving getting hyped about a product.  Because if we didn’t get excited about gaming, then what the fuck are doing in this hobby?  We do this because we love it?  Right?

Until next time, a quote,

“Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all is a form of planning.”  – Gloria Steinem

Peace out,


Deus Ex, SJWs, and ‘Mechanical Apartheid’ (A response to Gilles Matouba)

This E3 was awesome, for gamers like me.  I got to see The Last Guardian come back into the light of day!  I got to see Final Fantasy VII FINALLY getting a remake.  Why it took this long for Square Enix to pull their head out of their ass is beyond me.  Naturally, the announcements that I am most stoked for came from Sony.  Once-again, they burned the fucking house down.  Microsoft has GOT to be stirring in resentment.  Watch the reveal trailer for the Final Fantasy VII remake.  See the audience reactions at the end.  People are on their feet screaming.  That’s not something that you can easily top.  So yeah, a good time to be a gamer.

But it wasn’t great to be an SJW.  The moral outrage police decided that they were going to get their panties in a bunch over everything.  Whether it be Tipper Gore – I mean Anita Sarkeesian! – railing against violence in doom, or slut-shaming the female character on her E3 press pass (which, you’d think that she would shut her fucking mouth and just be grateful that she got an invitation at all.  Kotaku and Polygon didn’t!), she definitely did the open-mouth-insert-foot dance this year.  However, there was another instance that made the social justice crowd look even worse.

In the newest trailer for Eidos’ newest game, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, there is a statement about the situation in the trailer.  Calling it, “mechanical apartheid.”  This term, naturally, got SJWs to rail on Twitter and Tumblr about how it’s totally racist and how awful the developers of the game are for even thinking of it.  Naturally, this is “white privilege!”  Because those awful white developers are such awful people!  Except, oh, right, the developer who came up with term, and who modeled this game based on what that term means, is black.  His name is Gilles Matouba, and needless to say, he’s pissed.  Rightfully so.  Very pissed, in fact.  So pissed that he has taken to the KotakuInAction sub-reddit to voice his disdain.  Here’s a link to what he said.  Let’s talk about it.

Hi KiA

Sorry for the typos and weird syntax, english is not my mother tongue. I am Gilles Matouba and there is a thin chance of you knowing me. Still, I am a veteran french game developer with 15 years of experience in the industry. Mostly at Ubisoft and Eidos Montreal. Until september 2014 I was the Game Director of DXMD at Eidos Montreal. 3 years ago Andre Vu, the Brand Director of the DX franchise, and I coined the term ‘Mechanical Apartheid’. Thing is… I am Black (& French…). And Andre is Asian (& French).

An impressive resume, these two gentlemen have. Clearly, they know their shit.  I wonder if I should take their words over the words of moral police?  Just a question.

When we decided to go all-in on delivering the experience to play as Adam Jensen, an Augmented, in a world agressively segragating his own kind, we actually wanted to offer to our audience something unique. Something that was close and very personal to us: The experience of being torn between 2 worlds and 2 identities. Augs calling you the ‘uncle Tom’ of the non-augs, non-augs always insecure when you’re around, always deeply being scared or appaled by your mechanical body. Somehow, it was our own individual stories… We wanted to share a little part of our own life experience (on a super dramatized degree, of course) as visible minorities in a world of prejudices sometimes not well tailored for us.

That makes sense.  Contrary to what SJWs believe, art imitates life.  That’s a fact.  When you see in a game like Xenogears that one of the characters was a child prostitute so he could help feed his starving family, that isn’t glorifying child prostitution or anything like that.  It’s showing that there were people out there who have had to do that.  It’s a real-life example of history.  Keep that in mind when you decide to say that someone using an element of real-life culture in a video game is making light of something that happens in the real world.

Or better yet, actually know something about art through the centuries.  Look at the art after World War I and World War II.  Look at the art of the 60’s and 70’s.  Tell me that art is never affected by life after that.

We also used the reference of south africa, israel, even brasil, french and american ghettos and any country ressorting to walls in order to segratgate a part of their own population. We meant it. This was important to us to not half-ass these analogies. BECAUSE THIS IS DEUS EX.

Dedication to one’s craft.  Another thing that SJWs wouldn’t know shit about.  Aside from online click-tivism, what do they do…?

Racism is a ey dark part of our human nature and we wanted to treat this subject. It was especially important for ME to treat this. So it makes me sad and angry that these ignorant people just ASSUME that everyone behind this game is ill-spirited, stupid, and more importantly for me, that they that they are all WHITE. (For them devs==white, gamers==white)

It is insulting.  Just like when Tim Schafer decides to go up on a stage and use a sock puppet to mock and deride women and minorities who don’t agree with him.  It’s insulting, immature, and it makes them look like asshats.  Which is what they are.  This idea that gamers and gaming culture is just a bunch of white man-children is as insulting as it is untrue.  But don’t tell them that.  Logic just gets in the way of a good narrative.  Or a bad one, in this case.

What these bloggers and tweeters did to me here is beyond mere insults: They have degraded me and have literally erased my identity as a black developer and as a black creator that just wanted to share a piece of himself with this game. I wish that they will feel bad about it. I wish they will have the decency to apologize of their gross false assumptions and accusations. To apologize to all the people back in Quebec that have been working hard FOR YEARS to make this game to happen. But since they have no spine, no shame and no self respect they will simply ignore this post (once again denying me voice, legitimacy and identity) and will at best move on another AAA target to toss their freshly defecated shit at. They don’t deserve anyone’s attention. They don’t deserve our industry, our games and the dedication we put into them. They disgust me.

I believe that that speaks for itself.

The tide of the culture was has turned.  SJWs are now not even having a place at the table.  Look at what’s happened with Kotaku, Neo-GAF, and Polygon recently.  Look at how E3 is embracing sites like Tech Raptor.  Developers have had enough.  They are sick of these moral arbiters trying to tell them how to make their games, so they don’t get their wittle feewings hurts.  SJWs are beginning to see that gaming is more and more united against them.  Their place at the table is barren, and that’s a good thing.  Because these people don’t deserve a place at the table.

Gilles, I feel for what happened to you.  You came to GamerGate and appealed to us, and we have your back.  What’s been done to you is wrong.  The worst part is, you will NEVER get your apology from people like Sarkeesian.  Ever.  They’re too busy using you and yours as a shield to deflect criticism.  If any of them were to honestly look at themselves and what they’ve become, then I don’t know what they would do.  They might get a little…maturity! *Gasp*  But don’t tell Tim Schafer.  He’s too busy playing with his sock puppets, and wasting people’s money.

Until next time, a quote,

“TL : DR Asian guy and black guy came up with the term Mechanical Apartheid 3 years ago. Black guy not happy about the SJW shit tweets and wants to call them out and expose their stupidity. Black guy is not their shield.”  -Gilles Matouba

Peace out,


I Guess You’re a Full-Blown Hypocrite Now? (A response to Anita Sarkeesian)

Remember all those stories in the news where Anita came out against this idea that she’s like the Jack Thompson of the new generation?  All those endless statements about how she doesn’t want to change or censor video games.  She just wants to make the genre “expand.”  Whatever the fuck that actually means.  But, as we found out this E3 – that’s bullshit!  Turns out, her and Jack Thompson are two peas in a pod!  But don’t take that from me.  Let’s let her own words damn her.  And, you know, I think we need music for this.  Some nice background noise for her comeuppance.  Hm.  What do play.  Oh, I know!  Let’s play something that shows what she said, as it plays!  That’s good.  So yeah, here it is –

Wasn’t that nice?  Didn’t that music and imagery brighten your day?  What’s that?  There is rage inside from what a lying fucking hypocrite Anita Sarkeesian is?  I mean, wow.  Talk about being two-faced.  “I’m all about free expression!  But not when that expression uses violence!”  I’ve always known that Sarkeesian is a con artist, but I think that she’s starting to shoot herself in the foot.  It’s getting too easy for people like me to point and laugh at her without mercy.  It’s not even like Brianna Wu, who was so OBVIOUSLY trolling this year.  Wu is a pathetic, misguided believer.  She actually buys into the schtick.  But what’s Sarkeesian’s excuse.  For someone who has gone so far out of her way to paint her image in broad strokes, it isn’t hard for someone like me to look closer and see that she will flip-flop on a dime.  Why?

Oh, right – because she wants the attention.  She’s trolling too.  Just like her pro-feminism bullshit, not for two seconds do I believe that Sarkeesian is honest about any of her opinions that you saw above.  It’s all theater.  A performance.  As you saw in the video, there is someone who also buys the schtick – Little Johnny McIntosh.  Johnny thinks that video games cause violence.  Johnny is a trust fund baby who has never had to work a single day in his life.  His sheltered existence has led him to never have to interact with anyone.  So naturally, he has a view that he is the one who gets the world.  Egotism at its best.  Anita, on the other hand, is saying what she believes will drive up her trolling levels, so she can get more ammo for her little one-woman crusade for whatever she thinks will make her the most money.  Like any con artist, the end goal is green.  The girl’s had loads of it, and as we’ve found out, she is not above doing shady things to keep it coming in.  Between her exploiting of her non-profit, and the still unaddressed lies connected to her Kickstarter promises, this woman’s ability to make money is almost legendary.  But, she has to keep the hate coming in.  If she doesn’t keep feeding the trolls, then she going to lose money.

There is a subtle art to it, though.  Wu doesn’t know that.  People saw her posts, and just like when she tried to troll herself on her Steam page, we didn’t bite.  Trolling yourself has to be done with great care.  Each carefully-constructed Tweet Sarkeesian sends out is done with the utmost care to generate hate and money.  There is not one honest word that has ever come out of her mouth.  But I do think that she’s kind of shot herself in the foot here.  Why?  Because she’s contradicting herself so blatantly.  Being connected to Little Johnny and his belief in his schtick may not be the best thing.

I have a belief.  Part of me can’t wait to be proven right.  My belief is that the moment that Little Johnny isn’t useful to her, she’s going to drop him like a sack of potatoes.  She’ll wash her hands of SJWs and it will be hilarious.  A con artist is loyal to no one.  When the SJWs went after video games, something happened that hadn’t happened to them before – people fought back.  Lots of people.  Gamers said, “No!  We’re not going to let you co-opt our hobby!  Find some other group to go after!  Gamers couldn’t be bought, bullied, threatened, and their arguments were garbage.  Sarkeesian made her money not even bothering to do any of the failed tactics of her contemporaries.  She easily skirted around that, by focusing on the hate, and doing enough trolling to get the other trolls fed.  However, the tides of this culture war are going to turn.

So where is Sarkeesian’s next stop on her con artist life?  You ask me, she wants into academia.  A place where she will be met with open arms and a TON of money that has nowhere else to go.  Colleges are becoming SJW, hipster cesspools.  PT Barnum once said, “there’s a sucker born every minute.”  Anita Sarkeesian knows this.  For a long time, it has been making her piles of money.  But now she’s losing her grip on the situation.  She’s overplaying her hand.  It will be interesting to see how she comes back from this.  Oh, wait, that would involve her actually taking criticism.  The day that happens is the day when I own my own velociraptor.  So yeah, not anytime soon.

In the meantime, the SJW statements about E3 were priceless.  Be it so obvious trolling like Wu, or just dumb hypocrisy, like Sarkeesian.  I think that that summarizes SJWs and how they have gone after gaming – trolling and hypocrisy.  Yup.

Until next time, a quote,

“If P.T. Barnum were alive today, he would be a thousand times richer than he ever was in his day and age.”  -Internet Aristocrat

Peace out,


Lucien’s First Take: Kingdom Hearts III E3 2015 Trailer

It’s been over ten years since we saw a numbered sequel in the Kingdom Hearts franchise.  Between those points, there have been a TON of spin-off or prequel games.  Almost triple the numbered titles, now that I think about it.  Some of them have been excellent.  Like Birth by Sleep, one of the most depressing games ever made.  Others have been garbage.  Like Recoded or Chain of Memories or 358/2 Days.  But, this franchise has built a story that is epic, with characters who every fan of the series loves.  It’s a testament to the love and passion that went into the first two numbered games that this franchise is as beloved as it is.  It’s because of that passion that the fans of the games have been growing ever louder over the years, demanding a numbered sequel.  We want to see where the story goes from here.  And there are hints that this isn’t the end.  That the end of the franchise will be in a fourth numbered game.  I can’t wait.

This year, at E3, since Square Enix decided to waste a perfectly good opportunity to pimp out the other project that people are fawning over, they did give us a trailer for Kingdom Hearts III.  And before any of you get on me – yes, I saw the trailer for the remake of Final Fantasy VII.  I’m stoked too.  I bet most of you thought I was going to do my First Take about that, didn’t you?  Let me tell you why I’m not – because it’s not an actual trailer.  It’s a teaser.  A cool teaser, don’t get me wrong, but still a teaser.  When a real trailer, that features the story and gameplay comes out, I am all over that like stink on cheese.  Until then, I am stoked, but let’s wait and see.  Moving on.  Let’s see what Square Enix has done with their latest trailer for Kingdom Hearts III.

Okay.  This trailer got a lot of things right and a lot of things…so-so.  For starters, am I the only person who thinks that they gave Sora a new voice?  I don’t know what it is, but there’s something off about his voice.  But maybe it’s because Haley Joel Osment is in his 30’s now, if they did keep him.  Regardless, that is the first thing that stood out to me.

Second – this trailer is GORGEOUS!  I was hoping that they would make real use of the current gen’s hardware, without sacrificing the cartoon-y look of the game, and they did just that.  The visuals are half of the selling point on their own.  I could watch this game all day.  Well, more like play it, but if there is cool scenery, I’m on that!  Gonna take me a TON of screenshots on my PS4.  Finally put that share hardware to use, eh?  I also like how they have a brief moment where they show you that all the little separate areas in the worlds are gone.  It’s all one giant map.  When Sora jumps off the cliff, and they show his descent, that was a either a dumb coincidence, or a VERY cool hint at how this game plays.  I’m hoping that it’s the latter.  Still, this game is so fucking beautiful.  I’m not one of these people who thinks that good graphics make or break a game.  One of my favorite games of all time is Ocarina of Time, after all.  But it certain does help.

The combat also looks pretty cool.  I remember reading about how each keyblade is going to have alternate functions.  The way they showed that is pretty cool in this.  Can’t wait to see how that plays.  Here’s hoping that it doesn’t make battles all cluttered.  The seamless style of combat was one of the best features of Kingdom Hearts II.

However, this gets me into my negatives.  Just let me make my case.  First – if you are going to pimp how well this game looks, why do I only see two, maybe three world?  And two of them are worlds that I’ve seen before – Olympus and Twilight Town.  I love the latter more than the former, but whatever.  They spend so long on this game’s combat, when they really should have been pimping the worlds.  Now, maybe they don’t have much done there.  But the whole point of an E3 trailer is to make something with spit and polish to pimp out your product.  They could have made little snippets where we just see worlds.  Part of the magic with players were getting to explore worlds that we love.  This trailer would have been miles better if the would have cut out about thirty seconds of the combat and just given us some panoramas.  Let me know if you agree with me there.  If you don’t, and think this is the most awesome thing ever, I get that.  For real, I do.  I think it’s pretty cool too.

This is a good trailer.  It’s a lot better than the teaser from last year.  But it’s still missing something.  Maybe it’s the worlds.  Maybe it’s the story.  Maybe it’s the magic.  Here, I saw a bunch of cool fights with cool enemies and cool visuals.  That scene where the two kids are playing chess was the thing that interested me most.  Because it felt like there was magic.  The simple game felt like more than a game.  That’s good story-telling.  Plus, the way that the light reflected off the pieces are amazing.  Let me know what you think in the Comments section.

Initial Verdict
7 out of 10

Peace out,


Lucien’s First Take: Mass Effect: Andromeda Debut Trailer

It’s E3 time of year, and I’m going to be a complete whore and cash in.  But I do also mean to talk about stuff that I care about.  Because I am a story-seeker.  Gaming brings stories to life better than any other medium.  Plus, right now, I need something to get my mind off the SWELTERING heat in my part of the world.  It’s over 90 degrees in my apartment right now.  I shit you not.  Climate change is cool, until it isn’t.  Sigh.

I make no secret of how much I hated the ending to Mass Effect 3.  It was terrible!  All of my choices amounted to nothing.  All that time and energy I spent raising the perfect army of every single species in the galaxy, including the Geth, amounted to what?  That’s right – nothing!  It was the biggest slap in the face I’ve ever had while gaming.  No joke, it is still raw thinking about it now.  Ugh.  In any case, I knew that a trailer for a new Mass Effect game was going to have to wow me.  I mean big time!  This game was going to have to blow my expectations sky high.  They released a trailer, and…

This is kind of dumb.  Like, it’s really dumb.  So, you have this person, who has an N7 logo on their armor.  Is it Shepherd?  That’s kind of weird.  Especially since, if you actually played the last game, Shepherd is almost certainly dead.  He/she can only survive if they did the Destroy ending.  That’s the only chance they have.  So who is this person?  Which reminds me – when does this story take place?  After the events of Mass Effect 3?  I hope not.  Because then I have to live with those retarded ending choices in the last game.  Is it before?  When is it?

So, you’re on this world.  Why?  Is there something bad there?  What is it?  Mercs?  Reapers?  They show laser beams, and some pillars rising out of the ground.  But that’s it.  That doesn’t tell me much.  They have this overused track, “Ghost Riders in the Sky” playing in the background.  Is the implication that this game is lawless?  Was that track even intentional for smart reasons, and not just for something that some Bioware jackass thought would look cool?  But yeah, that song has been used to DEATH in other things.  It’s almost as overused as Lorde’s version of “Everybody Wants to Rule the World.”  It’s like songs are nothing but advertising tools now.  It’s really kind of annoying.

Well, after a minute and a half of nothing, this nameless Shepherd character jumps into the air and their omni-tool blade appears.  Because we have to remind you about that!  Weren’t those cool?!  Aren’t you excited to see that again?  Call me a pretentious hipster if you want, but part of me is getting really annoyed at just how pathetic this pandering is.  Same with the shot of the pistol.  Oh yeah, that means that it’s a Mass Effect game!  Wasn’t that just awesome?!

All in all, I was hoping that this trailer might at least get my attention enough to put me in the frame of mind to be willing to give this game a chance.  But it doesn’t.  I feel no desire to play this game at all.  I’ve had SO many people saying, “you’re so full of shit, Lu!  The moment you see the trailer, you’re going to be psyched!  You don’t just NOT play a Mass Effect game!”  Time was, I might have believed that.  Time was, I also was in love with Assassin’s Creed.  Times change.  Bioware hasn’t been very good for a while.  Maybe this game will dig them out of a hole, but I doubt it.  As for me, I’m not shelling out my bucks for this.  Neither should you.

Initial Verdict –
5 out of 10

Peace out,


All I Have is Fiction

I wanted to write something about the season finale of Game of Thrones tonight.  So much happened.  Shit’s going down in a big way.  But as the final credits rolled, and I felt all the emotion about everything that’s happened, I realized something – my life is so completely empty.  The most that I have to have emotions about is an episode of a fictional television show.  That’s it.  Everything else is just window dressing, on a completely empty life.  And now, I think that it’s too late.  For the first time, I realize that I’ve gone down a path that there may be no return from, and very quietly, I despair.

For years, I have tried to be a good friend.  A good boyfriend.  A good person.  What has it got me?  Nothing.  Nothing at all.  It’s got me a little apartment, just across the street from the college I got out of.  I’ve worked so hard to move forward, yet I’m still here.  Tomorrow, I go to a job that doesn’t make me happy, only to help try and pay bills that I so desperately have to pay.  I’m on my own tomorrow.  Here’s hoping that the training paid off.  If not, then I might just be fucked.  What do I come home to?  An empty fridge.  An empty home.  There’s my chair, and my TV, and my really cool glitter lamp.  For real, this thing is really neat.  This is my life.

My social life has devolved into nothing.  I do have one friend who has come back into my life.  She’s a ray of sunshine in a gray, dead landscape that is my mind.  Pretty much everyone else has left.  Quite a lot of that is my own fault.  I devoted myself in a way that I shouldn’t have.  I believed that it was possible to revive dead things.  Everyone has gone in their own directions.  They are getting married, having kids, all that.  People like me don’t have a place in that kind of life.  It’s too much work to be my friend, I guess.

I tell people that I’m learning to enjoy the simple things.  My new glitter lamp.  Good stories like the game I am obsessed with, Life is Strange.  But it’s a lie.  A smokescreen.  Something I put up as a front, thinking that maybe I might come to believe it.  I don’t think I will, though.  The truth is, I don’t know how I do.  See, Death is my constant companion.  It has been following me for a long time.  I see it, every time I look in the mirror.  It’s why I like to keep my world dark.  If I see things in the light, that creature is there, waiting for me.  It’s been waiting for me for over ten years.  Ever since my head injury, it waits.  But I keep going.

Am I strong?  Is it strength to push forward, even when you don’t even know why you do it?  When the idea of not fighting against Death is a constant companion, yet you don’t.  When you press forward, even in the very worst of circumstances.  Is that strength?  I have absolutely no idea.  Maybe it’s weakness.  You all tell me.  Yeah, you all, people not remotely connected to any of this, tell me what it is.  Is it strength of weakness to keep going, when everything is fighting against you.  I suddenly understand how Jorah feels, every time he looks at his arm.  Seeing the progression of the gray-scale.  It must be heart-breaking.  To know that your time is coming to an end, and all you can do is watch it happen. There may come a day when Death’s offer becomes too tempting, but for today, I take Syrio Fyrel’s advice.  What’s that?  I’ll close off this post with it.

The truth is, fiction is all I have.  My life is so void of emotional connection that I pretty much feel like I am waiting to die.  But I’m not.  I’m moving forward.  I go to that job, even though I get no joy there.  I go to sleep each night, and then wake up again.  Every time that happens, it should feel like a victory.  But it doesn’t.  It feels like just another day.  In fiction, I have other worlds that I get to peer into.  Worlds where I am not an emotionally-decaying wreck.  No idea why I am telling you all this.  Maybe I just need to get it out there.  The truth is, I don’t know if what I’ve done is worth anything . Was being a good friend worth it?  Was being a good boyfriend worth it?  Was being a good person worth it?  They say that being a good person isn’t something you actively think about.  They say it’s like being a nerd  How people who are actually nerds don’t call themselves that or have to say it out loud.  I disagree.

Being a good person takes work.  Because it isn’t that you are good all the way down.  No.  You still are a person.  You still get angry and bitter and sad.  You will want to hurt people who’ve done you wrong.  The difference is that a good person doesn’t act on it.  A good person doesn’t give into their worse nature.  It’s something you actively have to work at.  I’m with Captain Nemo on this one – goodness must be forever growing.  It must have strength.  That’s not to say that you have weak moments.  Sometimes, you do.  But you still work to be better. A good person isn’t some kind of Mary Sue or Johnny Sue.  It’s someone who has that voice in their head telling them to do bad things, but chooses to ignore it, so they can be the kind of person that they want to be.  It’s hard.  It’s an active force.

There isn’t really karma.  I know that. Deep down, though, I still want to believe that all the things I have worked to do will pay off, in some way. I’m sure that they won’t.  But I keep going, and thinking that maybe they will.  I guess we’ll see.

Until next time, a quote,

“The only real god is Death.  And do you know what we tell Death?  Not today!”  -Syrio Fyrel

Peace out,


This Feels Like “News” to You? (A response to The Guardian)

You know something I don’t like about the modern era – how there are no more secrets.  I remember a time when you could fuck someone and not everybody knew about it the next day.  I remember a time when girlfriends couldn’t track their boyfriend with pictures.  Back when every stupid thing you did wasn’t on the Internet.  No wonder everyone just binge-watches Netflix these days.  Doing anything else might follow you around forever.  No wonder everyone takes boring pills. I, for one, don’t.  I want to have a life that is worth remembering.  If some dumb shit follows me with it, so be it.  That’s fine by me.  In fact, I want it that way.  The dumber the better. The age of privacy is pretty much dead, at this point.  Human nature is changing because of how the Internet has become so integral into our lives.  It really is disturbing, sometimes.  If a guy wants to have a drunken three-way with two sorority girls, that shouldn’t be a shaming thing.  Vice-versa, for the ladies.  You want two frat guys?  Go for it!  Power to ya.

I remember a time when article that were personal and aired out people’s dirty laundry was in tabloids.  You’d have whatever stupid celebrity bullshit in rags like People magazine or Cosmopolitan.  Or, you’d have dirty stories being told in more risque magazines like Maxim.  They still a thing, by the way?  I have no idea.  Anyway, that was where you saw stories about people’s personal lives, that maybe shouldn’t be out in the public.  Still, the audience was limited, so the exposure wasn’t that bad.  You’d never see real journalists printing this kind of stuff.

Enter the 21st century!  Where news is based on how many clicks you can get, and every single news outlet, from NPR (who did an unboxing video) to The Guardian is looking for ways to sell out.  For example, let’s look at a story in The Guardian where they decide to air out a woman’s dirty laundry.  What was her problem?  Well, her husband looked at porn!  So she divorced his ass.  Yeah, another one of THOSE immature people.  The fact that a news outlet that has won awards and is respected like The Guardian chose to print this baffles me.  Here’s a link to the article, now let’s talk about it.

Porn ruined you. Ruined us. When people asked, shocked, how I could leave such a funny, clever man, father of my children – “a good earner” as my mother put it – what could I say? I said it was me. My fault. I’d changed. Only it wasn’t me. It was your love of porn that slowly diminished my love and respect for you and destroyed my self-confidence. I couldn’t tell them and I’ve never said it straight to you but you must know, you must remember those conversations. The rows.

The next time that a woman brings up stuff like this, ask them one simple question – did you read Fifty Shades of Grey?  If the answer is yes, then you know that they are completely full of shit.  That book, and the two sequels, are porn.  Oh, I’m sorry – erotic novels.  Fuck the euphemisms!  They’re porn!  Porn for people who are too high-class to get into the regular kind.  For people who want to pretend that what they are doing isn’t rubbing one out to fantasy.  We’ll get into how all of this stuff about porn ruining marriages is garbage in a few.  Let’s keep going.

I’m not a prude. I’ve done burlesque. I love images of sexy, strong women. My house – once ours – is full of kitsch Lynch prints, 1950s bombshells and Art Deco nudes. And I love sex. Even children and the exhausting slog of being a working mother didn’t diminish my drive – though I had to bury it, pretend it didn’t matter.

*rolls eyes* The obligatory statement that you’re not a prude and how you think nudity and sex are great.  As a prelude to you talking about how low-brow what he watches is.  Naturally, like EVERY woman who goes on about this, you have to put yourself on a higher plane than the man.  Because vilifying him isn’t as fun if you aren’t a total Mary Sue.

We were about six months in when I found your stash and I picked it up smiling – “Boys will be boys” – expecting Penthouse Pets, Readers’ Wives etc but found women so mutilated by beach-ball, supersize-me, fake breasts that their eyes registered pain where their pouts pretended otherwise.
I felt it was mutilation. I wept. You shrugged off my arguments – “They get paid. It’s their choice” – and dismissed my arguments about exploitation as unchecked radical feminism.

He’s absolutely right.  It was their choice.  Are you saying that the women who do porn have no agency in their lives?  Really?!  I can think of one woman who I’ve become acquainted with on Twitter who might disagree.  Think I’ll send this her way after it’s written.  Get a feminine input.  It’s just so unreal.  You wept!  Why?  Because women chose to do things with their bodies that you disagree with?  That’s cause for weeping?  And just like that fucking article I responded to from Life Site News (a pro-life propaganda site) where a woman talked about why her getting an abortion was awful, you have to infer that you know what these women REALLY thought.  Because any woman with breast implants is miserable.  To be a conceited, upper-middle class suburbanite.  You, and women like you, really do make me sick.

So why did I stay? In the rest of our life you were funny, leftwing, Mr PC, cultured, creative; and we could talk forever about politics, 70s sitcoms, obscure 80s bands … Anyway, like the frog in the slowly heating water I didn’t realise or I’d have jumped out.

Like SO many radical feminists before you, you discover that you don’t see eye to eye on this one thing, so that means that your entire marriage is invalid.  That’s…amazing.  You are willing to throw away this relationship because of one thing.  Your kids must be so thrilled.  There are kids, right?

And, I told myself, sex isn’t everything, is it? Not when everything else is so right. I thought maybe, in time, we would learn together, maybe you will connect the emotion with the action. I tried to explain how it could be, but could only conclude that your lack of desire for sex with me was my fault.

Oh, I see.  Now we’re getting to the meat of this.  He stopped being sexually attracted to you, and you felt burned.  That’s what this ENTIRE article is going to boil down to, isn’t it?  Oh boy.  I can’t wait to waste my time with this.  Why is this in a news publication?  Shouldn’t it be feeding the egos of women everywhere in Cosmo?  This really feels like their territory.  Not a publication that wants to be regarded as writing real news.

When computers came, you got better at hiding it. You could no longer have an orgasm with me and blamed me and childbirth but I now know you had a case of the Prisoner’s Hand. Then your hints began. Could I wear more makeup? What about those white-tipped nails? Had I ever thought about breast implants? I hadn’t. Wouldn’t. You preferred my hair blond. What about latex? Role play? Dirty talk? You liked the ideas of threesomes and could see by my face that I didn’t and then you wore my underwear and there were appliances and … It worked for you. It works for others. Some of my friends love all that. I tried. I didn’t.

This is where I get kind of pissed at this article.  Um…why is this in your newspaper, Guardian?  This seems like something that should be private.  This is airing out a person’s dirty laundry.  Why are you printing this?  Are you so desperate for clicks that you are willing to stoop to the bottom of the barrel, just to get some miniscule amount of views from people who you already know are going to agree with this woman?  Because that’s your audience.  It’s so obvious that your audience is women and beta-males who are going to be shouting, “yeah, you tell him, girl!  Tell that pig!”

There is nothing worse in this world than seeing a publication basically throw out their integrity for money.  That’s what’s happened here.  It’s kind of disgusting.  It’s easy to look at Rolling Stone‘s latest debacle and laugh at them, but this is another great demonstration of how bad modern journalism has become.  And I don’t find it funny.  Not one bit.

There were words for what we did but it was never making love. And without the extreme visuals, the DVDs playing in the background – you looking at them rather than me – you could never find satisfaction. So there could never be compromise. It made me feel that I was less than.There was never intimacy in what we did and in the end I stopped wanting sex. Not that you wanted it with me anyway.

I have no sympathy for women like this.  Did you ever talk to him about any of this?  Marriage is about communication.  If you didn’t feel like you could talk to this man, then why the fuck did you marry him the first place?  If you don’t trust him, then what are you doing with him?  If being with him was so awful, then why didn’t you just walk away sooner?  Oh, I’m sure that I’ll get a sob story about how you tried, for the kids or some other bullshit reason.  If your marriage is that bad that every moment of being with this man is bad for you, then maybe you shouldn’t be with him anymore.

So I threw my energies into gardening and our children thinking that that part of my life was over and dead. And the boys at university who had loved me and enjoyed my body were a distant memory, and maybe I had imagined it all, how beautiful and emotional just plain, naked sex could be.

I fucking called it, didn’t I?  And man, how hateful a person must you be that you decided to just see this man as a reminder of where you’ve been?  This stereotype that porn just turns men into pigs is so tired and old that it’s just not that fun to talk about.  It’s not true!  “Ah, but Lucien, people can become addicted to porn!”  Yes, and you can also become addicted to booze, gambling and sex.  All three of those things can destroy marriages.  The thing that I find so interesting is that this man was never unfaithful to his wife.  He never fucked another woman.  The other person he had sex with besides his wife was himself.  Keep that in mind.  “But Lucien, he was fantasizing about other women!”  Yes, and the women who read Fifty Shades of Grey aren’t thinking about Christian Grey’s cock at all, right?

What came next was not easy. Tears, guilt, divorce, kids shuttled between two homes, the shockwaves to extended family and friends. I’m in a relationship now. The sex is emotional and intimate and I am enough.

I can’t help that all of this has been about residual bitterness.  Like the person who wrote this is hurting and wants the person they were with to hurt to.  That’s really sad.

You are still alone. People think it’s because you haven’t moved on. That you’re still in love with me. But I think it’s because relationships require effort and consideration of other’s needs, and the women you spend most time with ask for nothing. You are actually happier in your relationship with porn.

And there it is.  Her axe to grind.  All of this was about bitterness.  She says that he’s not happy.  That he’s miserable and alone and she’s happy and everything’s emotional and beautiful.  But her words speak volumes about how she actually feels.  “I don’t need you!  I have a man who wants me for me!  You’re just lonely and miserable and stupid!”  Sure, Ms. Swift.  Sure he is.  An unflattering comparison.  Well, let’s just say that this “letter” has all the subtlety of one of her songs.  You wrote this to make him feel bad, and to get sympathy from women who are OBVIOUSLY going to agree with you.  It is so blatant that it boggles the mind.

Which brings me to you, The Guardian.  You gave a platform to a person who felt the need to cry in your publication.  I have no doubt that angry tears were flowing in the writing of this.  Or maybe not tears, but extreme resting bitch face.  You let a person who clearly just wanted to get supporting comments air out her dirty laundry.  And there’s a good chance that either her or her children will see this.  So yeah, this has all the subtlety of someone posting one of those “there’s this person” posts on Facebook, knowing that the person they are talking about will see it.

You are supposed to be a respectable publication that has journalism that is meant to be respected, and you let this crap go onto your site.  I have lost so much respect for you, and while one person may not mean much to you, I have a voice and a pretty decent audience.  That audience will see this, and hopefully they see you for what you are as well.

Until next time, a quote,

” This guy wants to tell me we’re living in a community? Don’t make me laugh! I’m living in America. And in America, you’re on your own. America’s not a country. It’s just a business. Now fucking pay me!” – Jackie Cogan, Killing Them Softly

Peace out,