Her Lights

All I could think about were the lights.  They were Christmas lights.  All over her window.  It’s the middle of summer, and she has Christmas lights on her window.  It’s so fucking weird.  I get having lights, but these are so obviously Christmas lights.  They even have those little ministrations on them that show that they are meant to imitate icicles.  They’re Christmas lights.  If it wasn’t so damn hot, maybe they wouldn’t catch my eye this way.
It’s too fucking hot for this.  It’s too hate for anything.  It’s too hot for thinking.  The fact that I had to climb all those stairs because the elevator was out was fucking spiteful.  Like she wanted to punish me for coming here.  I wasn’t the one who called her up and asked what she was doing tonight.  That wasn’t me.  She wanted me to come over.  So why am I being punished for doing what she wanted?  Women are the ultimate enigma.  And I don’t mean that in a good way.  It’s fucking stupid.  Seriously, this idea that girls have that they are so cute and so appealing because of their enigmatic nature baffles me.  No, scratch that.  It downright infuriates me.  You might think that I’m just some guy who is complaining about women not wanting me..  After all, this is the arguments that I’ve heard a lot of MGTOW types using.  But bear with me.  There’s a purpose for this.
“You want something to drink, babe?”
Dear God yes!  “Something cold, if you have it.”
“I got some Coke in the fridge.  Will that work?”
It was regular.  I knew that.  Of course it was.  But cold is cold.  “Sure.  That’s great.  Thanks.”
Some rummaging.  The fridge door opening and closing.  Some ice being put into a glass.  That’s considerate of her.  Can opening.  The lights flickered.  Wait, what?  I look over, but they are just fine.  That was odd.  Put it out of my mind.  The sound of footsteps approaching.  These sounds indicate heels.  She didn’t have to do that.  Like, what’s the point of advertising if you already have the product and want more of it?  Seems strange.  I look up and there she is.  The first thing I notice is the pink nightie that she’s wearing.  Sexy.  So fucking sexy.  But again, why go through all the pomp and circumstance?  I already want what she has.  It’s why I’m here, after all.  What’s the point of making it so that she looks this way?  Maybe it’s because we’re not dating.  Couples stop doing that sort of thing after a while.  People who fuck don’t.  There’s a constant sense of needing to impress when it’s casual sex.  At least in my experience.
She handed me the glass.  Felt good.  All that sugar is terrible for me, but whatever.  It’s cold, and that is heaven right now.
“You’re still dressed.  This hot out, I expected you to be naked by now.”
I look down.  I still have my shirt and boxers on.  “Look, I don’t have the energy right now.  This heat, it’s sucked me dry.  I don’t suppose we could just cuddle up for a while or something.  Or maybe just sleep in the same bed.  I just can’t do this heat.”
She looked disappointed.  What the fuck am I supposed to do?!  Sweating like a fucking pig.  She grabs a remote, and a fan comes on.  Why wasn’t that on before?!  Heaven on Earth.  I lean back against the wall, taking another drink.  My annoyance at this immediately ebbed.
“That better?”
I nod.  “Much.  Still, not sure I have the energy for sex.”
A devilish look comes on her face.  She grabs my glass and sets it on her nightstand.  There wasn’t a coaster there.  Guess she doesn’t care about marks on her furniture.  Whatever.  She gets on top of me, undoing the top of her nightie.  How this woman drinks and eats as she does and maintains this immaculate figure is beyond me.  But then, she’s short.  Probably has a metabolism like a squirrel.  The body, it gives me the reaction she’s wanting.
“Part of you wants it.”
I can’t help but chuckle.  “Yeah, of course part of me does.  That part of me doesn’t care if the rest of me dies of a heat stroke.”
Very softly, she pulls me in.  Her lips, soft and smooth.  Feels so good.  The smooth skin.  Only one blemish – a giant scar across her stomach.  It’s rather grotesque, but that is something that appealed to me in the first place.  That imperfection..  Absolute perfection disgusts me.  It shows that a person is so vain that they just want to be with a trophy.  I want to be with a person.  It’s a person that I want to fuck the living shit out of.  She hadn’t complained.  Apparently, men in her life hadn’t been as open to it as I was.  Their loss.  My gain.
The lights are flickering again, but when I look back, they’re fine.  What is up with that?  The girl takes my shirt off.  She gets my boxers off as well.  I know where this is going to go.  I’ll spare you all the exact details.  But she’s on top, head back.  I look up at her, that scar on her stomach.  That ugly mark.  It’s so gorgeous.  It completes her raw sexuality.  The fan is the only thing saving me right now.  Saving me from having to die from the heat.  It feels so fucking good.  Her nails dig into my shoulder.  What an amazing woman.
Then it happens again – the lights flicker.  I look over, but I notice something – they’re all blue!  They had been the colors of the rainbow before, but now they are blue.  Every last one of them.  It coincided with her pace quickening.  This girl wants it more and more.  But the heat, it’s killing me.  I try and indicate to her that I want to slow down, but nothing seems to reach her.  By now my body won’t stop her.  There is this fight between my conscious mind and my ability to control this minx on top of me, along with my own arousal.  What the fuck is wrong with me?!
Another flicker.  Now they’re red.  A hue of red that I have never seen any Christmas light be.  It’s this deep, violent color.  Like blood, but that super-crimson movie blood.  The color seems to be oozing out of them.  She’s getting even more worked up.  She’s telling me to hit her, to beat her.  No, this is wrong!  I can feel every part of this being wrong.  But I do what she wants!  Why can’t I stop myself!  I’m being told to tell her that I hate her, and want her dead.  I won’t do it!  This is where I draw the line.  I won’t give in to this woman’s demands.  Why is she acting like this?!  The color is now all around me.  It’s made this room look like it’s full of blood.  Like I’m drowning in a pool of blood.  That’s how all of this feels.  I’m drowning.  Drowning in the grip of this woman, who is snarling at me now.
I look up at her, and her eyes are the same color!  That glowing red light.  They look like a cat’s eyes.  Fear is clutching at me.  Fear that I’ve gone to a point that I can’t come back, and now I can’t escape.  So close.  My body is so close to release.  Will that end this?  Will I be free of this intimacy if I give her what she wants?  That has to be it, so I give in.  I do everything she wants from me.  It makes me sick inside, but this violation will end if I just please her.  Why is she acting like this?  Must be the heat.  Heat makes people crazy.  I’ve seen it happen before.  Plenty of times.
Finally, I climax, and at the same time, she does too.  That never happens, except in pornos.  What just happened?  I look up from my dazed stupor, feeling the fan on me again.  The lights are back to normal.  So is she.  I sit up, moving away.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, seeming completely unlike the woman I was just with.  So innocent.  So confused.  So uncertain.  What the fuck just happened?
I shake my head.  “Nothing.  It’s fine.”  I get up and grab my boxers.  “Look, I gotta go.  I’ll call you later.”  Never has anyone gotten dressed this quickly before.  As I’m headed toward the door, I heard a voice call after me.
“I know you will.  You’ll be back.  Count on it.”
I turn to look, but she’s gone.  All that I see is the red light, all over that bed.  Something grips at my heart.  An emotion that I can’t describe or control.  I just know that it scares me, beyond anything I can properly explain.  I think she’s right.  I think I will be back.  I tell myself that I won’t, but I know the truth.  That was something carnal in a way I don’t understand, and I do want more.  God help me, I want so much more.

Until next time, a quote,

“I’m hard to love, but I love hard, like my heart is the sun yearning to tan your naked body. I promise I won’t burn you.”  – Jarod Kintz

Peace out,



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s