RAB: Anime Needs More Sex (the intimate kind, not porn)

You know what I hate about anime – modern anime.  There is so much shit.  I don’t even keep track of what comes out anymore because 99% of it is pure crap.  I can hear all the sad otaku now.  “You’re just one of those hipster anime fans who say they only like old stuff!”  “Lemme guess, you only like artsy anime?”  Please.  I’m looking at one of the most thematically uncomfortable anime on the planet right now – Koi Kaze.  Am I a hipster?  I guess.  I long for the days when anime was made by fantastic people and was willing to take some risks.  I miss the days of mecha anime.  No shit, what happened to that?  I haven’t heard about an interesting mecha series in forever.  I hear they are making a third season to Code Geass, and I’m like – why?  The plot was wrapped up pretty nicely.  There wasn’t a single loose end.  Brittania was destroyed.  Lelouch united the world in hating him.  He canonized Zero as a hero of the people.  The truth about Geass was now gone and everyone who had heard it was dead or had been forcibly put under Zero’s control.  Where does the plot go from here?  Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh, right, anime needs more sex too.  I’m not talking about porn.  I’m talking about intimacy.  I’m talking about intimate relationships between characters that has them doing the deed and making it not gratuitous but instead a look at the strength of their connection.  I am so tired of anime that treats any form of romantic expression as if it’s the most daring and insane thing ever.  Maybe it’s because almost all anime have a protagonist whose balls haven’t dropped yet.  At least not that you could tell.  So many relationships in so many anime could have been made better if we got to see some romantic expression in the form of intimacy between characters.

I can already hear the counterargument – “but Lucien, it’s about the thematic elements!  You can feel the connection but it doesn’t need to be shoved in your face!”  Sometimes, sure.  I mean, FLCL had a romantic connection between the main protagonist and his roommate.  He was romantically interested in her.  There even is an episode where him and her do the metaphorical deed.  You don’t see anything, but the theme at play with two people coming together and doing it is right there.  It works especially there because the protagonists is underage.  Seeing him actually pursuining his roomie romantically would have been weird.  But other series could use more of it.

Here’s the thing, I absolutely hated the Rahxephon movie, save for one truly stand-out part – where Kamina is absolutely losing it and Haruka decides to comfort him.  There is a moment of genuine intimacy where he decides that he can’t hold back, and so he actually does it with her.  They even have a conversation after having sex and you really feel the two bonding.  I love that.  How I wish that more anime was able to just have two characters lounging around after fucking and musing about whatever.  Sharing a sexual moment and bonding afterwards.  How many of us have actually been there?  Some of the best conversations I have had were with someone I was in bed with.  Or in the back of a girl’s car.  Wherever.

It’s becoming such an overused trope where every time a boy sees a girl in an anime that he is interested in or even dating in their underwear it is treated like the most scandalous thing.  Why?  I mean, if it’s some girl you aren’t dating, that makes some sense.  But when I see it done with characters who are couples, that drives me up on the wall.  What if she wants him to see her in her underwear?  Why do all the women in these series act like being seen in their fun clothes as such an insult?  If the guy is being a perv, absolutely.  If the dude just happened up on it, though, how is that on him?  I see all these beta males getting fucked up by the females all for seeing something completely on accident, often with them making apologies for their actions because they do feel ashamed for it.

I’m not saying that every series need to have characters fucking.  Since so much of anime is about teenagers, that is kinda weird.  But when I was watching the first (and only good) season of Darker Than Black, I got to thinking – wouldn’t it make more sense for these two characters actually liking each other if they were hooking up?  I mean, she’s a police officer, he’s a college student.  It would make sense if they went out and hooked up and maybe got to talking.  We are supposed to buy a relationship between them out of them going out and playing in the batting cages?  I don’t think so.  Call it my American sensibilities, but are we really going to say the Japanese don’t have any kind of casual sex culture?  Well, given that the population is starting to drop there and how the males of that culture are terrified of females, maybe.  Shit.  That’s grim.

Or like in Stein’s Gate, where you have Okarin and his companion making out.  It’s a great scene (aside from the TERRIBLE music in it.  It honestly would have been better without it), but I kinda would have liked to see maybe the two having a heart-to-heart after getting physical.  There was a running line up ’til then about both of them being virgins.  How touching would it have been if they lost their virginity to one-another, right before Okarin has to sacrifice her to save his best friend?  I can see them just laying in bed, with that witty dialogue between the two about the cruel nature of life and how they have this one chance to bridge the gap between them and must savor it forever.  There is some subtle implication that that is what happened between the scene with them making out and later that evening as she is leaving, but I don’t know.  Kinda wanna know what those two talk about post-sex.  Bet it would be fascinating.

My point is can we have some more mature relationships, and get to see some of that be expressed?  I don’t want it to be obscene.  Unless that is being used to make a point.  Like a couple who has a very untethered and violent relationship.  Kind of the Joker and Harley sort of deal.  That could be interesting.  But can we not treat every kiss or seeing of a female in underwear like it is the end of the world?  I cannot wait to see the comments I get about how I am insulting Japanese culture or some dumb thing.

Until next time, a quote,

“Intimacy brings understanding.  And passion is nice wherever you can find it.” – Yeoman Kelly Chambers, Mass Effect 2

Peace out,


Sex Robots Offend Feminists (A response to Feminist Current)

Do you all remember when anything about sexuality had the Christian right up in arms?  I miss those days.  Now it’s the feminist left who hates everything that men do with their dongs and their sexual needs, to the point of outright claiming that men’s sexual needs don’t exist.  Meanwhile, they will canonize female sexuality to the point that a man has to ask his partner if he can continue thrusting every ten seconds or else it’s rape.

And there is more and more push-back against this.  From the app where both parties would confirm their consent for sex beforehand, so men would have an airtight piece of evidence if they stuck their dick in crazy and get called a rapist after completely consensual sex.  Naturally the feminists were outraged.  Men finding ways to fight back against their insanity is always a bad thing, no matter how justified their reaction, after all.  That’s the “patriarchy” for ya.  And now we have a new contender to the throne of feminists outrage over bullshit – sex robots.  That’s right a robot that you have purely for sex that does not have sentience is a feminist issue.  Because of course it is.  I swear, one day the existence of men at all will be a feminists issue.  If women like the Femitheist are to be believed, it’s one that should be rectified with castration.  Here’s a link to this retarded article, now let’s talk about it.  And for the record, I am not a MGTOW.  Had some SJW call me that recently because I find modern feminism ridiculous.

Sex robots epitomize patriarchy and offer men a solution to the threat of female independence

Hey, ladies, I’m gonna let you in on a little something – THE ROBOTS AREN’T REAL WOMEN!  Retards!  Oh, let’s get through this.

People love to pretend as though everything from prostitution to pornography to sex dolls are a solution to not only men’s supposed loneliness and unmet sexual “needs,” but to their violent, perverse desires.

Wow.  I love this.  Because men don’t really have loneliness issues or sexual frustration.  Not at all.  Because no man is ever without sex.  Since we live in some mythical patriarchy, I can just go outside and grab a woman and start banging her.  That’s totally how this works, right?  The condescension of these people blows my fucking mind.

Similarly, men have claimed sex robots are the perfect solution to their apparent inability to stop raping and abusing women, as well as their inability to socialize with women as though they are actual human beings.

Citation, please.  What man, anywhere, has EVER said this?  Yes, because I have a massive urge to rape all women all the time.  This is so fucking insulting to men.  I have NEVER felt the urge and could NEVER bring myself to ever force myself onto another person, male or female.  The idea of sexually assaulting someone makes me sick.  I like it rough, but I go into that with people who understand safe words and I am very good about aftercare for those I have a kinky scene with.  I actually know how to be good with my partner in rough sex.  But I have never felt the urge to force myself on any woman.  Sure, I am currently going through some loneliness and sexual frustration issues, but there isn’t a single part of me that wants to force myself onto another person.  Fuck this stuck-up cunt.  I don’t use that word lightly.  This is such a disgusting generalization of men, and the fact that this woman believes it makes her the lowest form of scum imaginable.

In other words, Harmony is a dream woman — the perfect date. Men can pretend they value human interaction, while remaining completely dominant and enjoying an entirely one-way relationship.

What environment fosters this level of sexist bigotry?  I am dying to know.  Listen here, bitch, I would like nothing more than a two-way relationship.  Because I love to cook and talk to people, having a partner that I can make delicious food for while chatting about our views on life, politics, video games, movies, or whatever sounds wonderful.  Your beliefs about my gender is so disgusting, that it honestly makes me think – no wonder men are choosing to go to sex robots.  If I had the choice between a robot and someone as heartless as you, I’d go with the robot.  At least she wouldn’t treat me like shit for the genitals I have.  I’m assuming you’re a lesbian.  Hopefully women see you for the harpy that you are too.

Feminism has insisted, over decades, that women are human, that we don’t exist for men, and even that we don’t need men.

But remember, feminism is about helping BOTH genders!  Really!  *cough*Bullshit!*cough*

The misogynerds at Abyss Creations say they are “inventing the future of sex,” but what they’ve actually succeeded in creating is the epitome of male domination.

Oh, so these people who created Harmony are also misogynists too.  And your evidence is…what, exactly?  You continually make broad generalizations about men and it just bugs me.  Plus, it’s so obvious how fucking butthurt you are that people are finally making robots because real women are now more concerned about you respecting their identity as a poly-kin non-binary  wolf with Hitler as a headmate than about a relationship with you.  In a world where men and male sexuality is demonized and it’s now trendy to hate men because of their sexuality, how on Earth is the creation of a sex robot even a little surprising?  My girly-mate who is staying with me right now genuinely doesn’t believe that this kind of mindset is going to find cultural ground at large, but the truth is that it already has, and reactions like this bitch’s are proof of it.  A product made for lonely men is created by misogynists because all men want to rape women.  At least if this medusa is to be believed.

They don’t bleed, cry, vomit, or feel pain, which even porn stars can’t avoid doing when abused, as they so often are on film.

I’m gonna send this to Mercedes Carrera and see if she agrees with it.  As a woman who is very proud of her identity as a pornstar, I’m sure that her opinion on this issue would carry a lot of weight.

The robots, when they go on sale, will start at $15,000 each. The company also sells a more affordable option — for only $100 you can buy the bottom half of a woman’s face, to stick your penis into at will.

Hey ladies, for $20 you can buy a dismembered penis to stick into your vagina at will.  Oh, right, never mind.  Female sexuality is canonized.  It’s only sexist when men do it.  That’s the feminist mantra in a nutshell.

When he asks Harmony if she wants to walk, she responds, “I don’t want anything but you.” On the rare occasions she is allowed to communicate an opinion, it is immediately followed by insecurity: “What do you think about that?” Harmony asks McMullen timdly, after stating she would like to have sex with “both genders.”

I guess the writer of this article is unaware that Harmony isn’t self-aware.  It isn’t a fully-realized AI.  It has pre-programmed responses that it learns based on user input.  All responses are part of its code.  See, if Harmony was self-aware and had real emotions and real thoughts on things, saying that people using her only for sex and not caring about what she thinks might have some weight.  But she isn’t self-aware.  To put in Mass Effect terms – while she may be able to feign real feelings or sentience, she is just a VI.  Hell, it might even be convincing, I haven’t seen any videos of Harmony, but in the end, she still isn’t aware of what she is or where she is.  Just going off the code she is given.

These sex robots strike me as an MRA/gamer’s dream come true.

Hey, women who game, you are an MRA and all gamers want sex robots because none of us can handle real women.  I fucking hate this person so much.  It’s blatantly obvious that her butthurt is just overflowing here and she can’t help herself when she does nothing but make insults about the people who could use this product and generalizes men as much as she can.  Now she’s going after gamers too.  I bet she has a view in her head of gamers as the men in that episode of South Park playing WoW.  What is wrong with this woman?

Kleeman writes of a computer engineer named Douglas Hines who initially created robots to mimic friends and loved ones who had passed on or to communicate with, say, family members who could no longer speak, due to age or disability, but moved into the sex robot industry because he (rightly) figured it would be more profitable.

Not seeing the problem here.  A market for robots that can mimic dead loved ones is an interesting idea, but clearly wouldn’t be very profitable.  It makes sense to make a product that you want to sell to a demographic who you can see interested in it.

Similarly, McMullen says Harmony and her sister robots exist “for people who can’t interact with other people.” It’s not at all coincidental that this argument is the exact same one used in defense of prostitution. Women’s objectification and exploitation is always defended of the basis of some imagined defenseless, sad, disabled, lonely man who is confined to his house either due to mental or physical conditions or some kind of crippling shyness, and is completely harmless — a victim more than anything else. Prostitution, like sex robots, is claimed to be just about “making someone happy,” as McMullen puts it, and nothing more.

God, bitch, what is wrong with you?!  “I’m gonna make fun of this imagined lonely man who is so desperate for company that they will shell out money for a VI robot!  Because fuck that loser!”  That’s what I hear when I read this.  It REEKS of the most crude gendered insults imaginable, going after groups of men that it’s trendy to hate.  What a complete sociopath this hag is.  I fucking hate her so much.  That would be like me making fun of a lonely woman who has body issues for getting a dildo, which is something I would never do.  What kind of upbringing creates someone this devoid of empathy?  I’m just dying to know.  I would never encourage violence on anyone, but if this chick just happened to stumble down a well, I’m not shedding tears for her.  It’s pretty obvious she wouldn’t be for me.  Or any man, for that matter.

I hear feminists say over and over “what if you have a mother or a sister?!”  Well, I guess this bitch doesn’t have a father or brothers, because all the vitriol she throws at men make it clear that she hates this gender and wishes nothing but illness upon it.

The dream girl is, as always, not human.

No sugartits.  She just isn’t you.  Or anyone like you.  She’s someone with empathy who I can talk to and who likes my cooking.  But you have no empathy, so you don’t fall into that category.  Fuck your article, and fuck you.

Until next time, a quote,

“You are threatened by sex dolls and sex bots because you know you have absolutely nothing to offer another human being. Prove me wrong!” – ShoeOnHead

Peace out,


Lucien’s Review: Batman: The Killing Joke

batman-the-killing-jokeOne of the biggest comics of all time has finally been made into a movie.  I’m honestly surprised it took this long.  It’s probably the most well-known of Alan Moore’s comics, and for good reason.  The visuals, the incredibly dark story, and the cryptic ending that a lot of people have had some very interesting discussions about.  It’s all very cool, and while I’m not a comic book person, even I have to respect the classics such as that.  This film was created in the vein of the best of that.  At least, when it was telling the story of the comic.  When it wasn’t, this movie has one of the most surreal subplots that goes from 0-60 in a nanosecond.  It was seriously so jarring that I was given whiplash.  I don’t get how this movie was able to do this.  They could have easily followed the plot of the comic and it would have been a short but sweet film.  Most of my review, in fact, is going to focus on that subplot, because it is such a problem.  But let’s get down to the nit and grit first.

I won’t give a plot summary.  If you know anything about Batman comics, you already know what it is.  Joker is getting his dander up about fucking with Batman’s day, by putting a bullet into Barbara Gordon’s back and terrorizing her father.  That should have been all of the plot, but nope!  Still not where I want to be to talk about the biggest flaw in this movie, so let’s get some other stuff out of the way.

The animation of this movie isn’t superb, which is a little strange.  I may not always like the movies from WB Animation, but I have always seen their animation as spot-on.  It’s really something.  Especially the action sequences.  For the flaws of the films from this studio, the slick action has always been something that I have enjoyed.  And to this movie’s credit, when it wants to shine, it does.  But it’s just so ho-hum the rest of the time.  It’s kind of like a typical episode of Batman: The Animated Series.  My biggest problem with this episode takes pretty much the runtime of an average episode of that series, so maybe it fits.

When it comes to the acting, we got some of the best.  We got Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill reprising their iconic roles, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  The girl who played Batgirl is also pretty good.  I think they even got the butler from The Animated Series too..  That was a nice touch.

But now we get to the part that I want to talk about.  This isn’t really one movie.  It’s a movie and an episode of The Animated Series.  The first 28 minutes of this film is literally some other movie.  It has absolutely ZERO connection to the events that follow it.  None.  It tells the story of a case surrounding a man who has a creepy obsession with Batgirl.  This plot has zero relevance to what happens later.  Absolute zero.  You could cut it out of the film and it wouldn’t hurt a thing.  I am just trying to understand why it is in here.  For real, why?  I’m about to spoil this subplot, but since it does absolutely zip to affect the rest of the film, that doesn’t do any damage.

What’s more, it’s a strange as fuck subplot too.  You have this guy who is obsessed with Batgirl.  Okay.  You have Batgirl and Batman investigating, and there being some tension between the two.  Okay.  Then you find out from Barbara talking to her gay friend that she is into some guy who is an authority figure in her life.  Gee, I wonder who that is.  Okay.  This is the kind of stuff that really should have been spaced out more.  You have what would be two or three episodes worth of personal exploration in the series that this animation is riffing on condensed into 15 minutes of plot.  The pacing of this little “episode” is just nuts!  There is something about how Batgirl won’t know what it is to be in her position unless she goes to the edge.  Alright.  Then sex!  Wait, what?  As I said, 0-60 in a nanosecond.

The choices done in making this part of the film just baffles me.  Why do this?  The plot of “The Killing Joke” is all you need.  For real, that’s it.  All you’d have to do is have that plot.  The movie would be half an hour shorter, sure, but whatever.  Why add this on when it literally goes nowhere and once it’s done you are basically told to forget about it.  Hell, the movie even tells you to forget about it.  With some stupid narration that opens and closes the “episode,” you as an audience member are told to forget about it.  It is impossible for me to fathom why this choice was made.  It brings the pace of this movie to a grinding halt and leaves you feeling like your time was wasted because the film even tells you that it was meaningless.  I don’t get this.  It’s pissing me off.  Part of me wishes that there was some whole other movie made to explain this, because you are basically force-fed through exposition that Barbara is into Batman.  Where did this come from?

This has NOTHING to do with the whole “bat-sex” thing that so many critics like Angry Joe got on.  I don’t care about that.  If B-man and B-girl want to get their freak on, that’s fine.  But I need to care about it.  I need to care about why this is happening.  But I don’t.  It’s packed into another movie that has NOTHING to do with this plot.  That’s my problem here.

All in all, this isn’t a bad movie.  For real, when we get to the part that is the namesake of this movie, it’s actually pretty good.  However, to get there, we have to wade through a subplot that is like a drive-by episode of The Animated Series.  After a year of bad DC films, I was really hoping that this would be the one to make it all better.  But nope.  It was just another so-so movie to add to the pile.  And all thanks to that retarded subplot.  What a shame.

Final Verdict
6 out of 10

Peace out,


When a Feminist Says that Women Don’t Want to Be Sexy

I did a Critical Examination where I talked about how dumb the latest video of Anita Sarkeesian is by pointing out that any expression of sexuality of a character in an art form is open to interpretation.  However, there is one thing that was glaringly bugging me.  Something that I couldn’t just leave alone.  Mostly because it highlights a dichotomy between sex negative and positive feminism that is just so amusing to me.

A long time ago, the YouTuber Shoe0nHead did a video where she made sport of the things that feminists have talked about.  She said that it is one of her least-favorite videos and that she would delete it if it wasn’t so popular.  The reason why is because she makes a statement poking fun at the whole thing about feminists being so butthurt about women showing skin in video games, and then poking fun at the women who get butthurt when they walk outside in their underwear and people are off-put.  She didn’t understand that there were two differing points of view on the subject.  The first is Sex feminism, that says that female sexuality is icky and any depiction of it is wrong.  The kind of thing that Anita Sarkeesian falls into.  Unbelievably-squarely.  Not even kidding, she hits the mark so fucking well.  The second is Sex + feminism, which says that female sexuality is supposed to be loud and proud and fuck the haters.  That’s where we get the things like Slutwalk.  If that’s still a thing.  Haven’t heard much about it in some time, but still.

What I think Shoe missed is the fact that these two dichotomies and the contrasting thoughts between them is worth pointing out.  Why?  Because this discrepancy is interesting.  Anita Sarkeesian, in her “Lingerie is not Armor” video, says that one of the arguments that people make for why female characters dress the way they do is because the character wants to do that.  She claims that that is the most ridiculous argument of all the one’s she’s heard (all of which are bullshit, and one of which is so weird that I have NEVER heard it said by anyone).  Did you all catch that?  She said that no woman anywhere wants to be sexy.  Wow…

It’s statements like that that make me wonder how other feminists can listen to her.  There was a video she made about “Women as Background Decoration” where she made a point about sex workers in video games being exploited and how no woman would want to be in that position in real life.  Naturally, that ruffled people’s feathers.  Because no woman anywhere wants to do things like porn or has chosen of her own free will to hook.  Right?

But I haven’t heard much about this video.  Why?  Ladies, this woman is literally saying that no woman wants to be be sexy for her own gratification.  That is the most patently-absurd thing I have ever heard.  Let me get any of the lady-friends I know who follow me on Instagram and ask them if that’s the case, with their selfie output.  Or perhaps I could go to a beach and ask one of the women wearing a two-piece if she wants to look sexy for her own gratification.  I bet the answers would be pretty much unanimous – yes.  How do women not find this sort of thing unbelievably-condescending?  A woman who claims to speak for you and your gender as an advocate is saying that you do not want to be sexually-appealing.  Ever.  I would think women who work very hard at fashion or other things might want to smack a bitch in the face.  Very hard.

Okay, just did an impromptu poll of my lady-friends.  Almost-universally the response was that anytime they dress up, sexy or otherwise, it is so that they can feel good about themselves.  It is self-aggrandizing.  So I just blew the brains out of Sarkeesian’s argument.  I blew it’s fucking brains out all over the floor.  Why do I talk about this stuff?  Honestly, I think the reason is because I am just so fascinated by the fact that there are women who take what this bitch says seriously.

More than that – why does Anita feel this way?  Well, part of it is because she’s a con artist and she has a narrative to pander to.  But assuming that she’s not, and she actually believes any of the words that come out of her mouth (and there are plenty of women who do think this way, so it still works), I can’t help but think that she is sexually repressed.  She is so afraid of her body and her sexuality that she can’t imagine an idea where someone would be happy enough with how they look to want to show it off.  Again, this is taking what she says at face value.  We all saw that picture of her in a dress at a Time Magazine event.  But for those who actually do buy this (because they’re REALLY dumb), it must mean that they are so scared of how they look that this is the only way they can justify a woman dressing in a sexy way.

Oh, and she again ignores that lesbian and bisexual women exist and find women sexually attractive.  What else is new?  So, I still have responses from girly-mates coming in on my social media about this, so now I will ask the women in my audience here – do you ever dress up in a way that shows off your body or flaunts your sexuality for your own sense of self-satisfaction?  Just so you can feel good about yourself?  Let me know in the Comments.

Until next time, a quote,

“Enjoy your body.  Use it every way you can.  Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it.  It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.”  – Baz Luhrmann, Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen

Peace out,


Returning to the Club

If you asked me where my preference of the company of the undead to the living started, I’d say that it was one night at a club that I used to frequent.  Before I died, this place and I had quite the repore.  It was a club for the kink lifestyle.  A place for those who liked it rough to come and be themselves.  I used to come to this place most every week.  There were a couple of girls and guys who I would get with.  We could sit and talk about whatever was interesting in life for hours.  Or we could go into the “play rooms” and have some kinky fun.  Either way, it was a fun night.
It had been weeks since I was there.  More than a few.  I had had one of the girls legit call me and ask if everything was okay.  What could I say?  How on Earth could I explain what was happening with me?  That I was a member of the undead.  In fact, I was the greatest of them all now.  They wouldn’t believe me.  Hell, the days when I look in the mirror, and I see the face behind this mortal facade, I don’t even believe.  How can I? Who could possibly see that part of themselves and think that this is who they are?  If there are words to explain that, you tell me.  Seeing my reflection no longer filled me with a feeling that I am not an especially good-looking man.  Now it was sheer horror, because I didn’t see a man’s face.  I saw the skull that was my real face now.
One night, I had one of the girls hit me up repeatedly, asking me to go to the club.  I wanted to find a way to not go.  Hell, I could have just said nothing.  But just because I’m a monster doesn’t mean I have to be a dick.  So, with all the apprehension I had, I got something presentable on and headed out.  I could have just used the robes I have in my natural form to turn into something smoking hot, but why not partake in these mortal clothes while in the mortal shell?  Made sense.

The club itself is the most obscure place imaginable.  It was somewhere that you would never find unless you were looking for it.  Only those who knew about this place knew where to find it.  I found out from an acquaintance I used to run with.  He was an interesting sort.  Told me all about the place.  A drive I had made a thousand times.  Parked on the street.  No charge late at night for street parking.  Nice.  Approaching the door, my stomach was going in all kinds of knots.  Why?  What about this was so frightening?  Memories of my first time being there.  All the awkwardness of being alone in a palace of wonderful sin.  The memories were good.  Some of the best people you’ll ever meet call this place their own.
At the unassuming door, the bouncer looks up at me.  This girl is huge.  The most raging bull-dyke you will ever see.  That’s not me calling her that, by the way.  That was how she was introduced to me by the woman who runs the club.  The lady had no problem with that distinction.  Her face lit up.
“I’ll be damned!  Ain’t seen you in forever!”  She walked over and gave me a hug.  Like I said, good people here.  They are pretty alright, so long as you don’t fuck with them.  In a way outside the good one, anyway.
“Yeah, I…uh…had some stuff going on.”
“Well, you better get in there!  Angie’s been going stir-crazy.  She says that she knows something’s wrong with you.  Her little’s scared that you are made at them.”
I nodded.  “I know.  I’ll have to apologize for that.  I’m not mad at them.  It’s just, some stuff’s been happening recently, and I have kinda been wrapped up in my own shit.”
The bouncer gave me a look.  “You aren’t selling drugs or anything, are you?”
A snort.  “No, nothing like that.  It’s just some personal stuff.  You know how it goes.”
“Yeah, I do.  Anyway, head on inside.”  She held open the door.  Time to face the music.

The first thing about this place is the rank odor.  It’s a wonderful mix of BO, incense, cheap dive, and sex.  You get used to it, after a while.  The weird thing is how clean they keep this place.  It’s part of the rules.  If you don’t clean up after yourself, you get kicked out.  Clean and simple, right?  Well, kinky and simple.  The black  curtains up everywhere, protecting prying eyes from all the debauchery.  The first room is just a place for you to meet-and-greet.  There is a larger social area downstairs, which is connected to the rooms where people can go and fuck.  The big draw behind the largest curtain was the “main dungeon.”  This was where the big spectacle was.  You could watch Doms playing with their subs.  All kinds of games happened here.  All kinds of people.  You’d be amazed.  I’ve watched some of the most unassuming people become totally different in these walls.  It was a place where the lies we feed the rest of the world could fall away.
Next up was the pulsing music.  Why is the assumption that if you are into the kinky lifestyle, you are into heavy metal and sludge-y sex music?  It’s odd.  I’m all oldies, myself.  Wish they would play the Rolling Stones here.  I could fuck someone to that.  Sorry if that’s too much info.  But then, you are reading this, so hey, you get what you’re offered.  Still, it is intense.  Maybe that’s why the play it.  Violent rhythms make you want to explore.  They make your blood flow.  For a place needing an intense atmosphere, that is something to have.
Since I had been a regular here, they didn’t charge me.  They milked the new people for membership fees, but if you were a regular, you got off cheap.  It was nice.  Immediately, people noticed me.  A naval engineer who liked to cross-dress came over and gave me a hug.  Nice guy.  He was a sub in the worst way, but he was a peach to talk to.  Next up was the lady who rang people up.  She was topless.  Looked fantastic.  Had had two kids, and her body was still pretty damn good.  A little sag, in places, but whatever.  Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.  At least that’s how I see it.  Plus, I admit to having something of a fetish for boobs.  But only the natural ones.  Fake tits are a turn-off.
“Hey you!  You’re back!”
I walked over.  “Yeah.”
“Where’d you disappear to?  Join a cult or something?”
Shrugging.  “Just had some shit to deal with.  You know?”
“I do.  Angie’s downstairs.  Her little will be all stoked to see you.”
“I know.  Talk to you later.”
Heading downstairs, the acrimonious odor of this place was mixed with that of food.  This place is fucking baffling.  An establishment where they basically cater to any fetish that isn’t utterly repulsive or completely unsanitary can serve some pretty alright food.  Weird.  I get down the stairs, having to duck at the bottom.  When I turn the corner, I see them there.  Angie’s blonde hair is falling down her body.  All she’s wearing is a flannel shirt and underwear.  Her little is sitting in her lap, resting her head against her mistress’s shoulder.  The two look up immediately when I enter into the dim lighting.
Without any prompting, Angie’s little hops up and runs over.  The girl wraps her arms around me, like a little kid with her dad.  It fits, given the dynamic she has with her mistress.  I hug her back.
“Hey you.”
“Hi,” the girl replies in her mousey way.  “Why have you been gone so long?  You made mommy worry.”
“I know.  I’m sorry.”
Walking over, Angie looked down at her little.  The girl immediately jumped back, head down.  The woman had compete power over the girl.  I had to give her that.  The age difference had some people confused.  A woman just over 30 with a girl who was literally just out of high school.  But it is something you don’t understand until you’re there.
“You’re back!”  In addition to hugging me, she gave me a soft kiss.  God, this girl’s lips.  Never have I met a woman who can kiss like this.  Not once.  My current tastes being where they are, I can’t deny that these lips I have missed.  Her little is quite the kisser as well.  Something that she’s been learning from her mistress.  A better teacher, I cannot imagine.  After all, you wanna learn how to kiss from someone who knows what they’re doing, right?
Pulling back, she looks up at me.  “Where have you been?”
I don’t meet her eyes.  “Some stuff happened, Angie.  I’ve had a lot to deal with.”  If only I could tell her.  She wouldn’t believe.  She’d think I was insane.  There’s no way I could show her.  She’d be horrified.  I’m horrified.  There were so many mirrors in this place.  Was having to avoid my reflection so much.
Speaking without permission, the little had to make a point.  “Mommy’s been worried.  She thinks that you’re mad at her.”
The girl stopped talking when she got a mean look.
“It’s not you, Angie.  I swear, it’s not.  Some stuff happened, and I just couldn’t do this for a while.”
Now she was wanting more answers.  Her dominate side was coming out.  “Like what?  What was it?  Did you do something wrong?  You aren’t dating anyone, so it wasn’t that.”  She takes my hand.  “What happened?”
How much did I wish that I could tell her the truth?  “Look, Angie, I can’t get into that right now.  I just don’t have the energy or the willpower.  We came here to talk and have some fun.  So let’s do that.”
Gotta give one thing for unlife – sex does make things easier.  Been finding that out with Karamel for weeks.
“Alright, but I’m not letting this go.”  A sly smile.  “Maybe I can get an answer out of you when you’re on your back.”
Take it from me, this woman is never on her back.  She’s a top, and she damn well knows it.  I’ve never complained.

Into one of the play rooms.  So much sex smell floating through this place.  Won’t deny, it was a touch intoxicating.  The Witches Brew is so clean by comparison.  Kink can bring out some raunchy shit in people, am I right?  Anyway, Angie pushes me on to the bed.  I’m looking right into her eyes.  The fire and passion.  She undoes the buttons on her shirt, letting it fall away.  So gorgeous.  Toned and firm.  A life of working her boy out and making sure that she is in fantastic shape.  Her little strips down as well.  Her chest is bound with ropes.  Girl always loved that.
Angie tells the girl to attend to me while she gets ready.  Making out with this girl was always strange.  There was still an age difference between us as well.  My mid-twenties made being with a girl out of high school an odd affair.  But this girl was every bit the fantastic kisser that her mistress is.  The intoxication was flowing through me as well.  Soon, the girl backs off.  Angie’s hand is on her shoulder.  The girl quickly gets off the bed, on her knees on the floor.  Now I am being attended to by her.  The passion ratchets up fast.  I can’t keep my hands off her.  The heat in here has made her body sweat.  I barely notice.  Perks of being undead, right?  Discomfort from the heat is a living person’s problem.  Slick, hot, gorgeous.  I can’t stop wanting the closeness she is offering.  It feels fantastic.
The passion is going higher and higher.  We’re both naked now.  I want her.  All of her.  But then I feel it,  The nagging doubt.  The strangeness.  I look into the eyes of the woman on top of me, and I suddenly can see things.  I see the blood vessels running through her body.  My vision skills are flashing.  No!  I force my eyes to see things as a mortal would.  Why can’t I make this part of myself go away.  I don’t want to be a Reaper right now.  But it doesn’t leave.  No matter how hard I try, it isn’t going away.
Angie notices my sudden apprehension.  “What’s wrong?!” she asks.
“Nothing.  Just a little out of practice.”  I smile up at her, taking her in my arms.  A dominate part of myself is coming up.  In fact, I want to take more.  I want to prove that I’m not a corpse.  Tonight’s the night that I show that she can be topped.  With all the power and eagerness, I attack her lips and her body.  In one smooth motion, I move to be on top of her.  Fire is in the woman’s eyes.  This hasn’t happened before, and she likes it.  Her little looks up in awe.  Invigorated, my eagerness keeps flowing out.  We join together, and she is all over the place.  Soft moans, escaping as her body tense and she joins the effort.  This is such an amazing night.
That’s when it happens.  There’s a mirror!  It’s to the side of the bed.  As I am going at her body, my eyes catch it.  Then, I see the truth.  I see me as a skeletal monster, on top of this beautiful naked woman.  What had I become?  What had I done?  I should have just let myself die.  The Necropolis couldn’t be as painful as this.  My skeletal fingers were inside of her.  My revulsion at what I saw had stopped me cold.
Looking up with desperation, she grabbed at me.  “What?!  What’s wrong?!”
I can’t speak.  There are no words.  All I can do is stare at my reflection and feel so dead inside.  Tears start running down my face.
“I’m so sorry, Angie.  I gotta go.  It’s nothing you did.  I just, can’t be here right now.”
Jumping up and grabbing me, the woman held on tight.  “No!  What the fuck is wrong with you?!  What’s going on?!  Just tell me!  For fuck’s sake, why can’t you talk to me?!”
There was only one way I could put it.  “I died, Angie.  I died, and now I’m still here.  Now, all I can think about is the fact that I was dead.  I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.  Not now.  I swear, I’ll be back.  For now, I just gotta get my head on straight.”
Dressing at record speed, I move out as quick as I can.  The last thing I saw as I left was Angie’s little coming on to the bed and hugging her mistress, who was crying profusely.  What a complete bastard I am.  The worst person imaginable.  But then, I’m not human anymore.  That was another life.  One I’ll never get back.

I arrived at The Witches Brew apartments a little over half and hour later.  Going inside, I see the Madam look up.
“Ah, welcome back!”
“Is she available?” I ask.  She knows who I mean.
“Yes, she is.  Head on up.”
“Thank you.”
It’s almost a mad dash up the stairs.  I just need to find this woman who understands.  The moment I reach the door and open it, I see her there.  In a ruby-red nightie, my undead vision sees her huge fangs, in her natural form.  Immediately, I feel at peace.
The vampire looks up at me, with her cryptic expression.  “I smell sex on you, Reaper.  Where have you been tonight?”
Not saying a word, I walk over to the bed she’s sitting on.  I lay down and put my head on her lap.  Words don’t come to me.  All I do is lay there and cry, with her running her fingers through my hair.  I’ve become a monster, in every way that matters.  The worst thing is, there’s no way home now.

Until next time, a quote,

“Beyond a certain point, there is no return.  This point has to be reached.” -Franz Kafka

Peace out,


Salty about Deadpool, eh? (A response to Life Site News)

My favorite group of people in this country is the pro-life movement.  A lot of people see them as a threat to women’s rights and stuff.  I don’t.  It’s become abundantly clear that they are still fighting a battle that was lost over 50 years ago.  It’s been and done.  But here they are, still clamoring about how awful it is that women have the rights to their own body, and how awful everything associated with sex is.  You’d think that third-wave feminism and them would get along, seeing as how they see women are inferior and sex as bad too.  But I guess the abortion thing keeps them apart.  Funny, that isn’t the case with them and Islam.  I think that SyeTenAtheist put it best.

But pro-life people still amuse me.  I haven’t done a response to Life Site News in a LONG time.  Years, by my count.  Don’t come up on much of their stuff since I unfriended Dillahunty’s wife on Facebook.  Someone who champions what Rebeca Watson says is something I am naturally going to butt heads with.  Anyway, they wrote an article which is frankly pretty funny, talking about Deadpool and how perverse this film is.  Here’s a link to the article, now let’s have some fun.

Comic books characters and family fun at the movies go together like peanut butter and jelly, right? Well, with the debut of Deadpool, Marvel Comics and 20th Century Fox forced me last weekend to have a conversation with my two oldest sons about a level of sexual perversion that I’d prefer not to know about.

I just love these kinds of people.  They expect the film industry to censor themselves because they’re too stupid or can’t be bothered to parent their kids.  And since the R rating was just too hard to notice, this person decided to take their kids.  Whose fault is that?  Yours, you dumb fuck!  It’s your stupid ass’ fault!  They give movies ratings for a reason.  If you had actually looked at ANY of the sites that review or promote the film, the rating was clear as day.  The trailer was Red Band for a reason.  You fucking idiot.

You may prefer not to know about it, too, so let me forewarn you: In this blog I’m going to talk about a level of sexual perversion you may prefer not to know about. Feel free to opt out if you haven’t the stomach.

Wow.  Why do you an third-wave feminism not get along?  Your article even came with a trigger warning.  This is amazing.  Given how so much of modern feminism sees sex as a dirty, nasty thing that men inflict on women (unless they’re gay.  Or Muslim), you’d think that these people would be so on board.  Alright, buddy, let’s hear about how awful this film is.  I actually have seen it, and did a review of it (link here), but this interests me.

Why address it at all? The fact that a film that depicts this level of perversity has become a smash hit (it broke a long list of box office records last weekend with a $300 million worldwide debut) is more than a little concerning, and people of faith – especially parents – serve no one by keeping their heads in the sand.

The hyperbole levels.  Parents of faith of the world unite!  This movie that you can totally choose not to see is damaging!  Huh, when you say it like that, this seems really stupid.

First, let me acknowledge that I’m getting my information about this movie from online reviews. I haven’t seen it. Also, Deadpool is known for satire, so it’s possible that the perversion in question is depicted in order to expose and critique contemporary culture. If so, I’m in full agreement that it needs to be critiqued.

So, let me get this straight – you are about to criticize a movie you haven’t even seen.  Unreal.  How can ANYONE take this seriously?  Oh, right, this is a site much in the same vein as The Mary Sue.  It exists to feed the people who already agree what they want to hear.  How silly of me.  I forgot.  And yeah, Deadpool is a satire, but it isn’t of contemporary culture.  It’s a satire of superhero films and the elements of them. *Spoiler Alert* The ending, where Colossus is lecturing Deadpool about being a good hero and sparing the villain’s life, only for Deadpool to shoot him in the face was one of the best pieces of satire I’ve ever seen.  The audience was in stitches.  This film makes fun of a lot of tropes associated with superhero movies, which is pretty much what the Deadpool comics did too.  This film captured the character incredibly well.

The word “perverse” comes from the Latin perversus which means “turned around.” The word couldn’t be any more fitting to describe the behavior depicted in an extended sex scene in Deadpool. The roles of male and female in the sexual act literally get turned around: with the help of a “device,” the woman mocks the male role and the man mocks the female role. The culture at large has taken to calling this “pegging” and – not surprisingly – the actors who portrayed this, so I read, took to downing shots of tequila in preparation for filming.

I’m dying.  I’m fucking dying.  This is too much.  So, the scene in the film where Wade’s girlfriend is fucking him in the ass with a “device” (just call it a strap-on.  For fuck’s sake) is so offensive, because it’s a woman fucking a man.  Oh, wait, “pegging.”  No, honey, it’s fucking.  He was fucked, in the ass, by his girlfriend, wearing a strap-on.  Let’s stop mincing words because your audience is full of ignorant losers who don’t want the naughty words thrown at them.  And I just love that you include the line that they were downing tequila to shoot this scene.  Like they were so traumatized.  Maybe, and I think this is a more likely scenario, they were having some fun with this and drank booze for gits and shiggles.  It’s clear that Reynolds was enjoying himself throughout every scene of this film, and I think that the rest of the cast was enjoying things as well.  I didn’t see any characters who looked like this was a huge inconvenience.  I might not make it through this article.  The laughter is too hard.

Scott Mendelson, writing for Forbes.com, calls any satirical intent of the filmmakers into question with his nonchalant observation that “seeing a super-macho, hypermasculine leading man like Ryan Reynolds end up on the receiving end of a strap-on dildo will hopefully demonstrate to audiences that it’s fun and totally okay to experiment with power dynamics during sex, as long as both partners are willing and consenting adults.”

This seems pretty reasonable.  Though I would disagree that Reynold’s character is “super-macho, hypermasculine.”  He was a weird guy, who just happened to be good at killing people.  Still, this is a good point to make.  If a guy wants to be fucked up the ass by his girlfriend, there’s nothing wrong with that.  What’s your beef?

There’s nothing new under the sun, of course. It’s not like 21st century human beings are the first to pervert the natural order of the sexual act in this way. But to celebrate it in mainstream entertainment on a worldwide scale … that’s unprecedented.

Oh, what the fuck do you know about the “natural order” of sexuality?  I hate this idea that is in people’s heads that the only way to fuck is missionary and for the express purpose of creating offspring.  There are all kinds of ways to have sex, and they are all part of the “natural order.”  How do I know this?  Because everything that exists in the natural world is part of the “natural order.”  Therefore, a strap-on going in someone’s ass is part of that too.  Or a tongue going into a vagina.  Or any number of fun things I can think of that I’ve been involved with off the top of my head.  This is so stupid.  The people who thin this way must be the most boring people on Earth in bed.  Well, not entirely true.  Some of the kinkiest women I have ever met are complete prudes on the outside.  Who knew that repression of sexuality can lead to some unintended side-effects?

How did we get here? Well, hasn’t radical feminist culture been claiming for several decades that men and women are interchangeable? “Women can do anything men can do,” it’s been claimed. The natural corollary, of course, is that men can do anything women can do. Isn’t this behavior just taking that claim to its logical conclusions?

Boy do you not keep up with the times.  That kind of thinking was radical feminism back in the 1960’s.  Nowadays, radical feminism is saying that women are so utterly oppressed and that they are being held back in every way.  Oh sure, they can do all the stuff that men can do, but us men are holding them back?  Why?

Because men are pure evil!

But yes, sexually, women can now do all sorts of stuff.  Where once they couldn’t because of lacking the penis, the free market has come through on that.  So long as the couple is consenting, what they do after that is their business, and theirs alone.

But, alas, it’s right here that the claim breaks down. The roles of male and female in the sexual act simply cannot be re-versed, only per-versed.

Wrong!  And what a terrible zinger.  But wait.  Their “justification” of this point is just…just wait for it.

Women can certainly do most of the things men can do. Men can certainly do most of the things women can do. But, lest we forget, there is something only men can do (because they’re men) and only women can do (because they’re women) and they must do it together in order to be able to do it at all. Only a man can be a father and only a woman can be a mother. While it has been just and necessary to challenge certain societal roles conventionally limited to one or the other gender, the roles of male and female in the sexual act (in the act designed to make a man a father and a woman a mother) are not interchangeable, and they are absolutely essential for the survival of society.

Okay, you fucking idiot, let’s break this down.  Since you’re too cowardly to actually talk about the fact that you want to say that women can’t fuck men because they lack a penis, let’s just gloss over the fact that, with new innovations in sexual technology, women now can do pretty much any sexual act a man can do.  It might be an artificial penis, but it’s still a dick all the same.  As for only a man can be a father and a woman can be a mother, that’s more than a little insulting.  Not just to the single moms out there, but also to the single dads.  It’s offensive to both.  Can gay parents of either gender just not raise kids?  That’s demonstrably untrue.  Your statement there is so stupid that you can offend every single group of people that isn’t a heterosexual couple.  Bravo.

I will give you there – there has never been a society that exists where the man is the nurturer and the women are the protectors.  That has never happened, throughout history.  There are scientific differences between the genders that third-wave feminism is trying desperately to pretend don’t exist for the sake of their narrative.  But this idea that men and women are so predisposed is ridiculous.  Can a woman create a child?  Currently, no.  I’m writing a novel about a female society where all men are gone.  It’s going to be a dystopic look at how the genders aren’t as different as you’d think, but still different.  A woman can’t inseminate an egg, and a man can’t give birth.  But that’s the end of where your point means ANYTHING.

Because of the wholesale embrace of the contraceptive mentality, the modern world has forgotten that the most basic, the most fundamental role of gender is to generate the next generation. The root “gen” – from which we get words like generous, generate, genesis, genetics, genealogy, progeny, gender, and genitals – means to produce or give birth to. A person’s gen-der is based on the manner in which that person is designed to gen-erate new life. But as soon as we embrace an ideology that severs genital activity from generation, it’s only a matter of time before the very notion of “gender” loses all meaning and the fundamental order of things gets totally turned around.

I hate that you’re making me agree with third-wave feminism, but it’s kind of hard to avoid.  The fact is that while there are scientific genders, gender identity is a whole other thing.  And if you think that all sex is meant for is to create new life, then you must be the most boring person EVER in bed.  No joke, I feel bad for your spouse.  It must be miserable sex.  Life isn’t about creating new life anymore.  There are seven billion people on this planet.  You know what we could use some less of – people.  We’ve reached a point as a species that procreation is now not only something that we can avoid, but we honestly should.  Over-population is the biggest cause of global warming.  It’s a fact.  If we stopped producing the little water-headed idiots (insert Brett Keane voice), maybe we could solve a lot of problem.  We have grown as a species to the point that we now can avoid all this stupid ideas about “genital activity from generation,” and now just have fun.  It’s fine.

Just like Big Tobacco after years and years of denial finally had to face the overwhelming mountain of evidence and admit that cigarettes cause cancer, so to will the entertainment industry, the medical establishment, governments, and educational centers (in short, the whole modern edifice) one day be compelled to admit that separating genitals from generation has lead to a de-gendered and, as a result, de-generate world.

Not seeing the problem.  I understand stuff about science, but I still support the trans community.  At least in the way that I don’t care about their existence any more or less than I do about any others.  I am equally apathetic to them.  True equality.

Dead-pool … it’s a fitting description of a world that continues to celebrate this de-gendering: it seems we’re sinking in a pool of death. Truth and mercy are the only things that can save us. And the Catholic Church continues to offer both to the whole world. Are we willing to accept her offer?

Yeah, fuck the Catholic Church.  Fuck the little-boy-touching priests.  Fuck your smug attitude.  And fuck this idea that we are “sinking in a pool of death.”  Seven billion people, to date.  The number keeps going up.  Real dead pool that is.

That was fun.  Hope you liked.  Be sure to sub to me and see what else there is to see.  I’m cool like that.

Until next time, a quote,

“Sometimes, the American news is like a tired old whore that only tells you what you want to hear.  You watch stories every day about the environment, and global warming, and they give you a thousand little tips on the things you can do to help Mother Earth.  When the major problem is, obviously, over-population.”  -Doug Stanhope

Peace out,


Really Good Bad Advice: Number Four

Hello everyone.  Welcome to another installment of a bit where I find an advice column that people made and then supersede that person and answer the question myself.  Why?  Because I’m an asshole like that.  Today’s question is interesting.  You ever wonder how the rich and famous deal with their lives and their issues?  Well, today’s question comes from someone who is rich enough to have a maid and a gardener, and yet has issues with these people.  Let’s take a look.

Dear…is it Lucien again?

I have an interesting ethical — or perhaps a moral — dilemma.

This can only be good!

We spend significant time at a cabin we own and our longtime gardener and maid have keys to our home. The gardener also has keys to our cars.

When my wife and I returned to the cabin recently, I found two containers of a sexual lubricant on the kitchen counter. My assumption is that one of them used our home for a tryst and forgot to remove this evidence. The gardener and maid are both married. The bottles remain in plain sight on the kitchen counter and neither has claimed them or mentioned them.

I am reluctant to ask either of them because it might point to the other as being unfaithful and would expose them as having used our home for non-work-related purposes.

They do know each other slightly. Either could lie if I ask. Basically, because of my suspicion I am going to worry about their trustworthiness until I resolve whose it is and how it got into our home.

We have grown, unmarried kids. They have their own homes. I asked our son if these items belonged to him and he chuckled and said no. Now he knows (by deduction) that I suspect hanky-panky from one of the employees. My wife wants me to drop it.

What do you think I should do? — Concerned Homeowner in Houston

First off – damn!  These people are trusting!  They let their maid and gardener not only have keys to their home, but also to their cars.  Plural.  Oh, and their cabin, which I’m betting isn’t some shack, but more the kind of “cabin” that was in the game Until Dawn.  I wish I had enough money for this to be an issue.  There’s a dream life to have.

Next, I’m kind of with your wife here, in saying that you should drop it.  Prying into someone’s sex life is beyond unprofessional.  Now, there is the fact that they are using your cabin to fuck, so that is unprofessional on their part.  But I don’t know.  This seems like one of those things where it would be best to just let it go and not make too much of a deal about it.  After all, there’s no evidence that they are fucking each other.  One or both of them could be using that cabin to have an affair.  Interesting.  Makes me think of those old titles, “The lifestyles of the rich and famous.”  Don’t I fucking wish.  I will say that the fact that one or both of them was stupid enough to leave their lube on the kitchen counter says a lot about the quality of help you have.

Which might be the answer to your problem – is one of these people really stupid?  I ask because if that’s the case, then you know who you have to fire – the really stupid one.  Find the dumbest people among your help and then you likely have the culprit of this act of infidelity.  Although, wait, how do you know that they didn’t take their spouse up there to fuck?  That’s kind of an arrogant assumption on your part.  Just because it’s your cabin, you assume infidelity?  Methinks that you are looking for evidence of something that may or may not exist.

You ask me, either straight-up ask them, or just find the one who doesn’t have all their marbles together and fire the guilty party.  After all, them using your cabin for fucking is unprofessional, and that does make some sense to me why you’d want to can that person.  It’s not nearly as complicated as you’re making it out to be.

Until next time, a quote,

Lying, stealing, and cheating are commonplace.” – Joseph B. Wirthlin

Peace out,