Bad PR 120: EA, Battlefield V, and Not Learning From History

There’s a golden lesson to be learned in PR – don’t make the same mistakes that others in the field have done.  It’s not hard.  So many people don’t learn this lesson, and it baffles me every time.  You’d think, in the age of online connectivity, learning from the mistakes that others have made would be easy.  You can see, in real time and archived, the history of the Internet and the horrible decisions other companies have made.  Which brings me to EA, and their absolute ignorance of history and them choosing to die on a hill that we’ve seen others die on.  I speak of course of their tripling-down on the historical inaccuracies in Battlefield V and deciding to make this a big gender issue.

Don’t know what I’m talking about?  Well, in the big reveal trailer for their now-tanking latest entry in the Battlefield franchise, ostensibly set in WWII, we see a British female soldier, with a prosthetic arm.  For a franchise that touts itself as historically accurate, this caught a lot of people’s attention.  Not to mention the male soldier with a katana on his back.  That was just stupid.  When it was pointed out to EA that this is historical fiction at its worst, they didn’t take it well.

The now-former EA CEO told people that if they don’t like that, “don’t buy it.”  Guess they should have given people other advice, because the game is doing so bad that they have cut it by 50% after only two weeks of it being out.  Ouch.  The disrespect for their fans didn’t end there.  Instead of just admitting that they totally are fucking over history here, EA decided that they would double-down on this, saying that it is totally historically accurate, and those who don’t believe that are “ignorant.”

I love that video game publisher can’t do research that a bachelor’s degree journalism grad can do.  A little history – there were women assisting the military in Britain, but there were NO women on the frontlines of British forces.  None.  There were women serving in World War II, but it wasn’t in Britain.  It was in Russia.  Stalin is a horrible person, but his philosophy was on point – if they can hold a gun, they can fight.  He took total war tactics to the next level, and had every single person capable of holding a weapon fight.  The history of women in the Russian military is fascinating, believe it or not.  Given how many in the regressive left love themselves some Marx, I’m genuinely shocked that they aren’t more made about this too.  Oh, that’s right, so long as women do stuff in gaming, the SJW crowd is happy.  Even though, as we’ve SEEN, they don’t buy these games anyway.  Love it in principle?

Again, the Internet saw fit to destroy their historical ignorance, but it seems that EA just can’t stop this madness.  In a photo from a press event, they showed off the Battlefield V logo surrounded by gender comments that they drudged up, tripling-down that this is historical ignorance on the part of those who are against it.  The person in charge of development apparently was given the idea to go this female route by their little kid, who plays a girl in Fortnite, and wanted there to be one in Battlefield too.  Given how the left LOVES to make story about little “woke” children, all of which are complete bullshit, I’m reticent to believe this is true.  However, let’s take this at face value – it’s still stupid.

I know you all probably haven’t thought about this in forever, but anyone remember the marketing behind the TERRIBLE 2016 remake of Ghostbusters?  When people naturally reacted negatively to that cinematic abortion, more specifically the release trailer, Sony decided to make it all about the gender issue.  That was the cornerstone of the marketing.  Anyone remember how that all turned out?  The movie sucked and everyone hated it.  It was box office suicide.  Paul Feig, the director, harassed and ridiculed fans of the original to no end.  It was a PR disaster, to the point that no sequel has been green-lit.  I don’t feel bad about that.  That movie sucked and I’m glad it’s dead.

Making gender the center of the battleground in EA’s latest financial suicide note is strange, to me.  We can document that the social justice people that they are trying to appeal to don’t play these games.  They don’t.  So why try and make this market to them?  It won’t appeal to hardcore fans, when you spit the face of history and make that the cornerstone of your reveal.  It destroys suspension of disbelief.  Not to mention that stupid katana on a British soldier.  That doesn’t get enough coverage in the historical butt-fucking this game did to a real historical event.

I think I’ve figured out why EA and DICE did this.  See, games journalism is overrun with SJWs.  It’s just a fact.  The media is such a social justice blitzkrieg, outside of YouTube.  With all the endless coverage to one side of the fence that you see everywhere, it’s not hard to see why someone would think that these people have the pulse of the gaming crowd.  It doesn’t help that these people come after their own audience of gamers in defense of corporations now.  For the uninitiated gamer, these are their news outlets too.  So they see this kind of coverage and think they’re on to something.  Which means, after years of games media yelling about women and minorities and whatever in gaming, big companies have decided to shoe-horn in “woke” characters wherever.  EA is already hemorrhaging money after the Battlefront 2 debacle.  Their stock prices crashed.  They crashed after this too.  Investors are starting to see that the gaming crowd is not happy with EA.

Which brings us, finally, to the PR lesson.  It’s this – don’t fuck with your audience!  Learn from your mistakes and move on.  EA could easily have just let this go and taken the hit, maybe marketing the multiplayer aspect or something of Battlefield V and not bring this up.  But nope!  This is the hill they’re choosing to die on.  Just like Ghostbusters (2016) did.  And make no bones about it, they’re gonna die on this hill.  It’s only a matter of time.  The women and social justice types they’re trying to reach don’t play games like this, and the crowd who does is not impressed.  So why choose to take failure and turn it into more failure?  This is the most asinine thing I think I’ve ever seen a multi-billion dollar company do.  It literally makes no sense to me.

Don’t spit in your audience’s face and then yell at them for being mad at you.  Especially when you REALLY need to start building audience confidence, and you have another big title launching soon.  I’m talking about Anthem.  A game with a troubled story already and fears that this will be microtransaction, EA gambling nirvana.  This is a bad time for you to attack your audience.

Until next time, a quote,

“You might as well aim high.  Why shoot yourself in the foot when you can shoot yourself in the head?” – William Shatner

Peace out,

Maverick

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A Preparing for Battle Tale

I called Emily up later and told her things were okay.  She demanded an explanation, and I figured that I owed her that much.  I had just potentially put her in danger, not to mention scaring the living shit out of her.  A proper explanation was the least I could do.  Made some burgers with moose meat and pepperjack cheese.  The hope was that it would be a short evening, but who knew.
When she got over we ate and I told her about what happened with Bethke.
“So, does that mean you can make up with the rest of your sisters?” she asked.
“Maybe.  I don’t know how they’ll react.  Bethke is a hot-head, but she has always and probably will always see me as big sister who she can’t stay mad at.  We worked things out in the way that it had to be for us.  For the rest, I’m not so sure.  There’s going to be some ugly feelings all around.”
Nodding, she took another bite.  “Well, I hope you can make up with the rest of the girls.  You sound like you miss them.”
“More than you’ll ever know, kiddo.  What we had together was something magical.  Maybe, if I hadn’t left, had stayed with them, I wouldn’t be where I am now.”
She looked down.  “Then we wouldn’t have met…”
“Sorry.  I didn’t mean it like that.  It’s just, a lot of shit has been royally fucked in my life ever since Jean died.  I don’t know who I am, sometimes.”
Looking back at me.  “I know who you are.”
“Aye?  And who am I?”
“Super awesome ninja badass, Quinn Pierce.”
I chuckled a bit.  “Thanks for that.  It’s nice to know somebody feels that way about me.”  Kept eating my burger.  There was some quiet time then.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” she said.
“Sure.  What’s up?”
“What was getting ready for a mission like?  I know you can’t tell me all the deets, but what was it like going out on a mission?  Been trying to imagine it, but I’m drawing a blank.”
Chewing my food for a bit, I nodded.  “It was…intense.”
“What can you tell me?”
“Hm…”  Taking another bite, I thought for a moment.  There was one good story that I didn’t think would reveal anything important.
“Alright, so typically we would just be wherever and get called in, but sometimes we’d have prolonged deployments when they had missions for us in succession that had to be done as part of an active ZOI.”
“ZOI?”
“Zone of Interest.  Somewhere that the brass wanted to be dealt with.  Could be for whatever reason.  We never asked why.  You have a job, you do it.  That’s how it works in the Navy.  When you do work that is already classified by virtue of you being there, questions really won’t help.”
Kiddo was hanging on every word.
“Anyway, when we’re in an active ZOI, we’d be mobile.  The ship that they’d have us deploy from was a brand new kind of destroyer, made specifically for stealth.  It was top of the line.  They only ever made a couple, because of the cost, and each of them is understood to be a place where we are based.  We’d have our own quarters that were typically shared with one rackmate.  For a long time, they put me with Rodriguez.  Though I shared quarters with Crow and Beacham, for a while.  Days would get pretty boring.  Because we had to be ready to go at a moment’s notice, we typically didn’t get duties like any other sailor on that ship.  Had a LOT of people jealous for a while, until they realized that we are dangerous.  Though we still had the reputation of the FDUs.”
“FDUs?”
“Frigid Dykes Unit.”
Emily rolled her eyes.  “Were all of you gay?”
“No, actually.  Just me.  We had a theory that Pennyfeather had dabbled, but no proof.  I was the only lesbian in that team, far as we were aware.  Didn’t stop people from talking.  Really didn’t help when scuttlebutt was making the rounds about me and Jean.  But anyway, off topic, because this was a ship geared toward stealth, alarms were all about lights.  Anytime the lights changed, we knew something was happening…”

Wished this thing had exterior windows.  It was genuinely claustrophobic in here sometimes.  Like being in a submarine.  Which was why I always preferred to spend time on deck.  Oh well.  Was laying on my rack, staring at the bulkhead.  It was so damn quiet in this thing.  One thing about being on ships, there was typically noise coming from something.  But not here.  It was genuinely disconcerting sometimes.  On an average ship, if all noise stops and it isn’t general quarters, that typically is a bad thing.
As if to answer when I said that, the lights went red.  In a flash I was up, along with Rodriguez, who had been playing Solitaire on the deck of our quarters.  We knew the drill.  If the ship was under attack, the audio alarm kicks on, because then keeping quiet is irrelevant.  Lights means that Alpha team was up and the rest of the ship had to get things ready.
We slipped on the NWUs and ran out.  Saw the others and greeted them silently.  It was typical when we were getting ready to stay silent.  We had to do that for actual missions, might as well do it and get ourselves used to it.

“Wait, you can’t talk during missions?” Emily asked.
“Not unless absolutely necessary.  Part of our education was to learn ASL, so we could give commands in a way that was least likely to give away our positions.  And if we did have to use the comms, we were instructed to only speak Blackfoot.”
“You know Blackfoot?!”
“Aye.  Or, if you prefer, áa oko’s.”
“Whoa.  And you know sign language?”
“Yup.  When we were together or in pairs on a mission, we’d sign.  The idea was to have us be utterly silent, making as little sound as possible.  And since we couldn’t be sure that the enemy wasn’t listening in to the comms, Blackfoot was the obvious language we would go to.  We had a team member who spoke it and could teach it.”
“That’s awesome!”
“Aye.  A LOT of girls failed from the training because they couldn’t learn it.  STARS training wanted to weed out those who were just looking to shoot at people.  We had to be more than assassins.  We had to be able to think, learn, improvise, adapt.  It was the most demanding job I’ve ever had.”  Couldn’t help the nostalgia in my voice.
“You miss it?”
“The job?  A little.  But the camaraderie I miss more.  Six women, working together, getting shit that couldn’t be done by anyone else. accomplished.  It was a feeling like no other.”
“Sounds awesome.”
“It was.  Anyway, we got side-tracked.  At the start of every mission, there is the briefing.  Those are long.  Movies always make it out to be a short thing, where people are just told to do stuff and that’s it.  Wrong.  We go through equipment we will need, mission protocols, mission objectives, infil point, exfil point, infiltration routes, obstacles, potential political fallout, and if we have fifth freedom or not.”
She frowned.  “Fifth freedom?”
Gave her a serious look.  “The freedom to break the law for the greater good.  In essence, if we have permission to kill people or not.  Sometimes we don’t.”
A confused response.  “Why wouldn’t you have permission to kill people?”
My face was dead serious.  “Because sometimes we had missions in places that are allies, and we aren’t supposed to be.  If anyone gets killed in those missions, it would cause massive political fallout, so we are not given fifth freedom.  Or you have instances where an enemy is politically volatile, so killing a target would inevitably incite an incident.  These are things you have to think about during a mission.  And we are expected to know when the parameters of a mission change.  The OPSAT cameras in our TOS give Command constant info of what we see, and little ear-pieces give them an update on what we hear.  So they’re able to tell us in real time when things have changed.”
Girl looked so invested.  “That is so cool.  Sounds like spy shit.”
“You don’t even know.  The TOS has special bendable touch-screen tech so they can send us encoded updates in real time.with new info.  We had top of the line gear.”
“What’s the TOS?”
Thought for a moment.  “I suppose I can tell you a little.  It’s the Tactical Operation Suit.  First of its kind.  This thing is made to be flexible and protect you from the enemy.  There is a kevlar layer, and Gore-Tex.  The former offers protection from gunfire, while the latter makes you effectively invisible to infrared and night-vision.  Got lots of other neat tech integration, but I can’t say too much about that.  Classified as fuck.”
She pouted.  “Okay.  What did it look like?”
“Whatever we wanted.  Color, pattern, whatever.  It’s part of the cool tech, but I really can’t say too much about why.  It is next level combat armor, and they gave it to a bunch of chicks who are trained to be ninjas.”
“Bad ass!  Was it fun to wear?!”
Now I frowned.  “Not even a little.  This shit was skin-tight and awkward as fuck.  You’re naked getting in and out.  And since most of where we went had hot as fuck weather, it was mad uncomfortable.  This is part of why we do operations at night.  The stuff breathes, but sweating is the worst.  We didn’t have to worry about overheating, but we did have to worry about feeling like we were wearing glue.  Felt bad for the people who have to clean that stuff.  We have a special crew who have to clean each suit.  It’s a giant process, because they might have to replace some of the layers and do repairs.  Those who do are specially trained and have special clearance that others don’t.  Everyone associated with STARS had TS clearance or higher.  Every person in this outfit earned their place there.”
“Wow…”
It felt kinda nice to be getting this reaction from someone.  Admiration.  We damn sure earned it.
“What was getting in and out of that stuff like?”
“Getting in was the easy part.  Getting out reminded us why you shave.  EVERYTHING.”
Her eyes went wide.  “Don’t tell me…”
“A natural replacement for waxing, if you don’t.  First time we were wearing the things was agony to remove, for the others.  Thankfully, once I had a razor at my disposal, I already liked to be clean shaven all over…”

Nobody tells you how incredibly awkward it is to be in a room full of women, hearing them groan as they are stripping naked.  Worst part is, so we don’t damage the suits, we have the techs there as well.  Boy howdy, this sucked.  There are not words to describe how uncomfortable it is.  We had trained in the TOS, but never put it to the test like this.  Thankfully, since I had shaved everything and even my head (because dealing with hair isn’t worth it in the military, what with all the rules of how to do your hair and how long you have to do it), it was like peeling a layer of skin.  I suddenly got how it must feel for snakes.  That thought was cool.
For the others, however, it was constant moans of pain.
“Mierda!” Rodriguez screamed.  “There goes my lightning bolt.”
Beacham rolled her eyes.  “You’re in the Navy, my dear.  At least PRETEND like you belong here, would you?”
Bethke looked over at me with an angry expression on her face.  “Of course, you have no problem with it.”
Rolled my eyes.  “Yeah, as if all the delicate skin didn’t stick right to it too.  Bite me!”
Rodriguez gave me a horrified look.  “Joder.  Oh no…”
“Oh yes.  Good luck.”
Stepping out, I put the suit onto a rack and the tech assigned to it took it to the other room.  Now that that was done, I got to take my well-deserved shower.  One of the perks of being a STARS member is we get our own showers, and the faucet heads aren’t shit.  Limited time window, of course, but they are more flexible.  After all, we had to scrub out a bunch of shit from our person.
After I scrubbed down and got cleaned up, I went into the locker room to get my clothes.  Figured I should have kept the towel wrapped around me, but since I knew there was only us in this locker, and we had seen everything on each other before, I just didn’t see the point of feigning modesty.  The air was cold, but drying me off quick.  And after that desert nightmare, this felt so good.
As I got my uniform out of the locker, the door suddenly opened.  I just assumed it was one of the others, since Beacham and Crow had gotten to the showers as I was heading out, so I didn’t think much of it.
“Oh!” I heard a voice say.  That voice was familiar…
Turning around, I saw CWO Beryl standing there, looking awkward.
Oh shit!  “Ma’am!”  I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around myself fast.  “Apologies.  I didn’t know you had come in.”
“No, that’s fine.  I assumed you were dressed.  I was told to tell the team to report to Lt. Evans as soon as all of you are dressed.  I know you’re tired, but better to debrief now.  It was a textbook mission, but we gotta have this for the record.”  The look on her face was awkward and red.  Weird.  I mean, she’s seen a naked woman before.  We all went through boot.  What’s up with her lately?  Either she’s being cold or she’s being nice.  Or now she’s being awkward.  I didn’t get this chick.
“Aye-aye, ma’am!”
Clearing her throat again.  “As you were, Pierce.”  And then she left very quickly.

My young companion chuckled.  “So it went over your head too?”
“Aye.  The TOS only left the eyes uncovered.  That’s why it had to breathe, because you literally had to breathe through it.  Six women with shaved heads.  That was us.  At least for the initial version.  Later ones had a detachable head section that we could use, depending on the mission.  That was a good day for our outfit.  You lose so much body heat through your head, so it made things so much easier.”
“So cool.  I guess there’s no pics of that.”
“Not a one.  You’ll just have to use your imagination.”
She frowned, but nodded.  “Okay.  Sounds pretty epic.”
“It definitely was.  The pain in the ass that they were, the suits definitely made us feel like high-tech ninjas.”
“So, you suited up.  What then?”
Leaning back, I thought back.  “Then we get to the vehicle we’re taking in.  Sometimes it was Seahawk, sometimes it was a Zodiac, sometimes it was any number of things.  We suit up, report to transport, then go on the mission.”
“A Seahawk is a helicopter?”
“Aye.  Our ship had one posted on it, standing by for use anytime.  Crew who ran that thing were no slouches.”
“Is it fun to ride in a helicopter?”
Had to think about that for a bit.  “It’s…different.  You fly in an airplane and you can feel it moving, but there’s always this deliberateness to it.  Like a wind-up and cool-down.  In a chopper it can turn on a dime and you have to be ready for that.  Everyone who had motion sickness was axed from the program pretty quick.  You gotta train for how to disembark from a bird correctly.  Otherwise you risk broken bones.  Movies and video games make that shit look easy.  It’s not.”
Her head did that thing where she was trying to think of something more.  “Hm.  Well, I think that’s all I got for now.  You probably can’t tell me about your weapons and stuff.”
“That’s affirmative.  We had special gear in that regard, but can’t say a thing about it.”
“Hm.  Well, thanks for telling me what you did.”
“No sweat, kiddo.”
We finished eating, and then she got up.
“I hope it goes well, with the others.”
I shrugged.  “I’m not holding my breath.”
She gave me this look of incredulity.  “I know that’s not true.  You want it to go as well as I do.  Your sisters mean everything to you.”
Sighing, I nodded.  “Aye.  They do.  But I don’t know what’ll happen.  So for now, I’m just going to wait and see.”
“We gonna finish decorating the tree this weekend?”
“You know it.  Now get home.  You got school in the morning.”
“Aye-aye!” she said, doing faux-attention.
I rolled my eyes.  “Silly kid.”
“I’m gonna get this right, you’ll see!”
“Yeah, we’ll see.”
Normally, when I talk about the past, it hurts.  Today, it felt good.  Very good.   I could live with that.

Until next time, a quote,

“Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.” – Doug Larson

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Answer 100 Easy Ways to Make Women’s Lives More Bearable

Because women have it so fucking hard.  Especially in the First World.  While women in Africa get their genitals mutilated, and women in the Middle East are subject to ACTUAL misogyny courtesy of a religion that teaches that it’s perfectly acceptable to beat them if they get out of line, because the man is stronger than the woman and it is his place to tell her what’s-what.  That’s Islam, in case you didn’t know.  A religion that the left suck’s the cock of, which just baffles me since they call everything under the sun sexist.  I guess SyeTenAtheist was right after all.  But don’t you worry, men.  There is a list published of 100 ways to make women’s lives “more bearable.”  I’m sure this isn’t going to be the cringiest thing ever.  Nope, not even a little.  Here’s a link to it, now let’s get on with this.

1. Before explaining something to a woman, ask yourself if she might already understand. She may know more about it than you do.

I don’t explain things to people unless they ask.  I don’t give a fuck if they are ignorant.  I’m perfectly fine with letting people wallow in their own stupidity.  I live in America, after all.  Dumb ain’t hard to find here.  If she is asking for me to explain something, then she wants to know about it and I have been given an answer to if she knows more about it than I do.

2. Related: Never, ever try to explain feminism to a woman.

Here’s my explanation – a values system that has been horribly twisted into a PC buzzword battle here in the First World, but would be very useful in the Third World.  Like in countries where women have to wear a burka or else they get beaten, and where if a woman claims to be raped and she doesn’t have three witnesses, she’s a lying whore and can be beaten by law.  Countries like that could use it.

3. Trans women are women. Repeat that until you perish.

They identify as women, and I have no problem with that.  Identify as whatever you like, sugar-tits.  If they haven’t completely transitioned, then they are still biologically male, but they can identify as female and I have no issue.  Doesn’t bother me or even concern me in the slightest.

4. RESPECT PEOPLE’S PRONOUNS. It’s not hard.

I couldn’t agree more!  My pronouns are master/master/master.  So when you talk about me, it has to be “master said that I’m stupid.”  By the way, what does this have to do with making women’s lives more bearable?  This seems like a pet peeve of yours that has nothing to do with women as a larger demographic.

5. Remember that fat women exist and aren’t all trying to get thin. Treat them with respect.

I treat everyone the way I would want to be treated.  The Golden Rule.

6. In fact, just never comment on a woman’s body.

If she asks for my opinion, I’m going to give it.  If she doesn’t like the answer, she shouldn’t have asked the question, should she have?

7. Be kind to women in customer service positions. Tip them extra. (But not in a creepy way.)

I tip people in customer service based on their quality of service.  If my waitress is doing poorly, she’s getting a bad tip.  Sorry, not sorry.

8. Trust women. When they teach you something, don’t feel the need to go and check for yourself. And especially do not Google it in front of them.

Um, no.  If I hear some female tell me that women have magical wings attached to their butts, I’m going to Google right in front of them and show them that there is ZERO evidence of that contention.  If you say something stupid in front of me, I’m going to revel in showing how dumb you are.  Granted, if I know that a woman is an expert on something, I will listen with rapt attention.  Like how my girly-mate in the Navy talks about military life, I find it engrossing beyond belief.

9. Don’t maintain a double standard for… anything, ever.

Oh boy does that not bode well for feminism.  Hey, how’s that double-standard about if a partner is drunk during sex it’s rape?  Only applies to women in every single piece of propaganda I have heard about it.  Or if you don’t ask for consent every ten minutes, it’s rape.  If she initiated sex with you and she doesn’t keep asking, is it rape?  There are a LITANY of double-standards associated with modern, First World feminism that you lot are perfectly happy to ignore.

10. CLOSE YOUR LEGS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT, OH MY GOD.

If there is someone looking to sit, I’ll move.  If there’s no one around, I’ll let my balls have some room.  Your ignorance on male anatomy is quite something.

11. Trying to describe a woman positively? Say she’s “talented,” “clever,” or “funny.” Not “gorgeous,” “sweet,” or “cute.”

If she is being talented or clever, I’ll say that.  If she is trying something on or doing her makeup and is looking for validation that it looks good, I’ll tell her she’s cute or gorgeous or any number of positive attributes associated with one’s appearance.  Don’t fucking tell me how to talk to my people, bitch.

12. Examine your language when talking about women. Get rid of “irrational,” “dramatic,” “bossy,” and “badgering” immediately.

No.  If that’s what they’re being, I’ll call them out on it.  Sorry if that bugs you (not really).

13. Don’t think to yourself, I describe men like that too. A) You probably don’t. B) If you do, it’s to criticize them for acting like a woman.

Um, no.  I describe them as such if they’re being irrational, dramatic, bossy, or badgering.  I don’t associated adjectives with exclusively one gender.  Stop forcing your beliefs and values system on me.  I don’t appreciate it.

14. Do you love “fiery” Latina women? “Strong” Black women? “Mysterious” Asian women? Stop. Pick up a book on decolonial feminism. Read.

No again.  I love smart, nerdy, interesting, thoughtful, loyal, or empathetic Latina, black, or Asian women.  Don’t tell me how I think about these people.  You are really forcing your personal insecurities on everyone else with this.  I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

15. Stop calling women “feisty.” We don’t need a special lady word for “has an opinion.”

Yeah, this is all just your personal insecurities.  I don’t describe women as feisty for having opinions.  I consider them feisty if they like it rough during sex.  If they have a lot of opinions, I consider them principled.

16. Recognize women’s credibility when you introduce them. “Donna is lovely” is much less useful than “Donna knows shitloads about architecture.”

What?  I’m not following.  I don’t introduce somebody as lovely.  I introduce them as my girly-mate who I know from work, or college, or grew up with, or who is in the Navy.  There are many terms I use to introduce people.  I’m not her agent.  It’s not my job to pimp out her credentials.  I believe she is smart and capable enough to do that on her own.  Way to show how “empowered” women are.

17. Think about how you describe the young women in your family. Celebrate them for being funny and smart, not for being pretty and compliant.

I have never raised being compliant as a virtue to extol.  If the person is smart or funny, I will refer to them as such.  If they are dumb as shit but look good, I’ll say they’re pretty.  I’m not gonna give people credit they haven’t earned.  America does that too much as it is.

18. Examine the way you talk about women you’re attracted to. Fat women, old women, queer, trans, and powerful women are not your “guilty crush.”

I don’t have “guilty crushes.”  I have women I am attracted to.  Sounds like you are forcing more of your insecurities on people.  Don’t put that on me.

19. Learn to praise a woman without demonizing other women. “You’re not like other girls” is not a compliment. I want to be like other girls. Other girls are awesome.

Boy is this telling about the feminist mindset.  You don’t want to be unique.  You want to be a fucking hive mind.  Good to know.  Go join the Borg, bitch.  As for me, I extol people who are unique.  The biggest insult I can give for someone is to call them plastic.  Fake.  Just like everybody else.

20. Share writing by women. Don’t paraphrase their work in your own Facebook post to show us all how smart or woke you are. I guarantee the woman said it better in the first place.

I’ll share the writing of women when I find it worth sharing.  And typically if I share someone’s post, I’ll just be hitting share.  So yeah, that is dumb.

21. Buy sanitary pads and tampons and donate them to a homeless shelter. Just do it.

No.  Don’t tell me what to do with my money.

22. How much of what you are watching/reading/listening to was made by women? Gender balance your bookcase.

No!  Tell you what, you find me some great female science fiction, fantasy, or corporate espionage fiction and recommend it to me, I’ll check it out.  I judge works based on the works, not who wrote or directed them.  If that’s a problem, too fucking bad.  Go write some good literature or direct some good movies.  I’ll be right here.

23. Feeling proud of your balanced bookcase? Are there women of color there? Trans, queer, and disabled women? Poor women? Always make sure you’re being intersectional.

Oh fuck off.

24. Don’t buy media that demeans women’s experiences, valorizes violence against women, or excludes them entirely from a cast. It’s not enough to oppose those things. You have to actively make them unmarketable.

Examples, bitch.  And don’t say GTA V, because I already don’t own that.  I don’t buy GTA games because if you’ve played one of them, you’ve played them all.  It’s boring.  Tell you what, you list things that you think fit this category and I’ll tell you if I partake of them or not.  And if I do like them, I will be happy to debate with you why I think they are perfectly acceptable.  Good luck.

25. Pay attention to stories with nuanced female characters. It will be interesting, I promise.

I do like nuanced female characters.  I also like nuanced male characters too.  I like characters in my stories to feel human.  How about you?

26. If you read stories to a child, swap the genders.

No

27. Watch women’s sport. And just call it “sports.”

I hate sports

28. Withdraw your support from sports clubs, institutions, and companies that protect and employ rapists and abusers.

I’m glad you brought this up.  So you withdrew your support from Feminist Frequency, correct?  She has a pedophile called Valis77 as her mod on her streams.  Live up to your own standards, bitch.

29. Stop raving about Woody Allen. I don’t care if he shits gold. Find a non-accused-abuser to fanboy over.

I’m not gonna stop liking his films just because of the fact that he has been accused of things.  I am not gonna stop liking films Kevin Spacey was in either.  I can separate the art from the artist.  It’s why I think Ashly Burch is a great voice actress, even though she has retarded-ass opinions and is an SJW.

30. It’s General Leia, not princess. The Doctor has a companion, not an assistant. It’s Doctor Bartlett, not Mrs Madame First Lady.

It’s First Lady Bartlett, bitch.  You’re adding additional honorifics where none were required.  English is hard, apparently.  For you.

31. Cast women in parts written for men. We know how to rule kingdoms, go to war, be, not be, and wait for Godot.

No.  This is another instance of you asking other people to do what you can do yourself.  If you want to have films with women in male roles, go direct them.  Feminists want the rest of the world to do everything for them.  At least the creators of Steven Universe took their SJW ideology and ran with it.  Got infinitely more respect for them than you.

32. Pay for porn.

Sometimes I do.  There are vids from my favorite pornstars they make on Manyvids that I can’t get anywhere else.  The women who prove their chops in porn earn my dough, not just anyone.

33. Recognize that sex work is work. Be an advocate for and ally to sex workers without speaking for them.

I love how you make it impossible to agree with you by adding shit on that wasn’t necessary.  As an example – I do support sex workers.  I want to legalize prostitution so we can get it off the street and help get women away from pimps.  Get establishments that are professional and can be kept safe from STDs and violence.  But you had to add on stupid bullshit about not speaking for them.  I don’t claim to, bitch.  I claim to support their right to have their world legally recognized and regulated.  Fuck.  Feminists make it so hard to agree with them on anything because they have to be so fucking combative in their approach to EVERYTHING.

34. Share political hot takes from women as well as men. They might not be as widely accessible, so look for them.

I follow plenty of women on Twitter with political opinions that run the gamut.  I like nuance in my life.  Do you?

35. Understand that it was never “about ethics in journalism.”

Yeah it was.  Your piss-poor knowledge of history is not my fault.

36. Speak less in meetings today to make space for your women colleagues to share their thoughts. If you’re leading the meeting, make sure women are being heard as much as men.

I never speak in meetings unless I have to.  Don’t have anything to add.  Unless of course snark becomes an attribute that workplaces appreciate.  Granted, if I have a question, I will ask, because I want to learn.  And by the way, at every meeting I have attended, the one leading it has been a woman.  The ratio of men to women in my office is totally XX sided.

37. If a woman makes a good point, say, “That was a good point.” Don’t repeat her point and take credit for it.

Nobody does this.  Nobody, anywhere, does this.  This is in the magical “Shit The Never Happens Land.”

38. Promote women. Their leadership styles may be different than yours. That’s probably a good thing.

If I am running a business, or am in a managerial capacity to promote people at a business, I’ll promote a woman if she is qualified.  If she has proven that she has the capabilities to be promoted.  I judge people individually.  Sorry if that’s a problem (no I’m not).

39. Recruit women on the same salary as men. Even if they don’t ask for it.

Um, no.  Salary negotiations is a skill. It’s one that has to be proven.  I believe that women can measure up, they just have to be better about taking that risk.  It’s science that women are more averse to risk-taking.  That’s not my problem.  You go on and on about how biology is just a construct.  Here’s a chance to prove that.

40. Open doors for women with caring responsibilities by offering flexible employment contracts.

No.  If I am an employer and I have very specific requirements for this position, and they can’t meet those or are unable to work under the requirements specified, that’s on them.  Again, I believe there are plenty of women who are eager to prove themselves who will be up to the challenge.  I love how this whole section devoted to business is basically talking down to women.  Gotta love modern feminism.

41. If you meet a man and a woman at work, do not assume the man is the superior for literally no reason.

I assume that anyone could be a superior at work.  That’s part of why I am courteous in general.  I don’t want to make a bad impression on someone who may have power over me at some point.

42. If you’re wrongly assumed to be more experienced than a woman colleague, correct that person and pass the platform to the woman who knows more.

I have a coworker in my department right now who I direct people to all the time because she has been there vastly longer than I have and if they have questions I figure she can handle them better.  I don’t make some big deal about it.  The only reason they come to me in the first place is because I sit closer to the door and people are lazy.

43. Make a round of tea for the office.

No.

44. Wash it up.

No!

45. If you find you’re only interviewing men for a role, rewrite the job listing so that it’s more welcoming to women.

This is so fucking patronizing to women.  Hey ladies, you are afraid of working at a job because the listing is scary!  Yeah, that doesn’t talk down to women at all.  Unbelievable.

46. Make sure you have women on your interview panel.

If there is a woman at the office who I believe has the criteria to judge who is qualified for the position, then absolutely.  They may not have knowledge of certain things that are involved with this position that would exclude an applicant.  If not, then no.

47. Tell female colleagues what your salary is.

No.  I am under no obligation to tell anyone what my salary is.  Nor should I be expected to.

48. Make sure there’s childcare at your events.

If it’s a family event, sure.  If not, like a Christmas party or something, babysitters exist.  I wanna watch Kelly get drunk and dance naked on the copier with the adults.

49. Don’t schedule breakfast meetings during the school run.

If the meeting is at the start of business, odds are it’s either at 8 or 9.  Not my fault that most schools start then.  If they work for me, they know to already be there at that time anyway.  So they would have already dropped their kids off.  That’s the price you pay for being a parent with a career.  You have to make sacrifices.  They could choose not to have the kid.

50. If you manage a team, make sure that your employees know that you recognize period pain and cystitis as legitimate reasons for a sick day.

If they have the leave hours, fine.  If they don’t, then they don’t get paid.  That’s how leave works in any business I would run.

51. If you have a strict boss (or mom or teacher) who is a woman, she is not a “bitch.” Grow up.

You can be strict without being a bitch.  Plenty of teachers I have looked up to have been just that.  There is a stark difference between a strict and effective leader, and a bitch who just wants to be in charge.  I’m sorry nobody told you that.

52. Expect a woman to do the stuff that’s in her job description. Not the other miscellaneous shit you don’t know how to do yourself.

You ever see those sections on job listings saying there may be other tasks as required?  That’s why.  Because sometimes you get stuck at a job doing the ramshackle shit that has to be done.  If I am a supervisor, then I will assign it.  But they are free to ask for assistance if there is confusion on the task or if they need training.

53. Refuse to speak on an all-male panel.

No.

54. In a Q&A session, only put your hand up if you have A QUESTION. Others didn’t attend to listen to you.

Guess what, nimrod, if I’m at a panel that is a Q&A and I put my hand up, it’s because I have a fucking question!  Condescending bitch.

55. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against trans or non-binary people, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for cis women, too.)

No.  I believe in freedom of speech.  I may not like it, and if they ask if I agree with them on their usage of those slurs, I will tell them I do not, but I believe people are free to say whatever the fuck they want.  I’m not here to tell other people what to think.  Unlike you, I don’t want to be a part of a hive mind.  While I may not agree with some of my people all of the time, I believe that if everyone thinks the same, the world is really fucking boring.  I’m aware that that is something totally antithetical to your view of reality.  You want absolute homogeneity.

56. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against women of other races, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for white women, too.)

See previous answer.

57. If you see women with their hands up, put yours down. This can be taken as a metaphor for a lot of things. Think about it.

Fuck you!  If I have a question, I’m gonna fucking ask!  If Linda asks the question I was going to, I’ll put my hand down, because I got my answer.  But if I want to learn something at work, I am going to fucking ask.

58. Raising a feminist daughter means she’s going to disagree with you. And probably be right. Feel proud, not threatened.

If I have a daughter, I am going to expose her to what a toxic, patronizing, sexist, dogmatic hive modern feminism is.  Believe you me, I will be exposing her to that, and it will be an eye-opening experience for her.

59. Teach your sons to listen to girls, give them space, believe them, and elevate them.

I’ll teach my sons and daughters to treat other people with empathy.  Unlike you, I don’t have a double-standard.  Which reminds me, you belief about not having double-standards, this list is a LITANY of them all on its own.  You are so full of shit.

60. Dads, buy your daughter tampons, make her hot water bottles, wash her bras. Show her that her body isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Honey, I have lived with a couple of women.  I’ve bought tampons for them, washed their clothes.  I am not afraid of girl stuff.  This is another belief that you have with no basis in reality.  As for showing her that her body is nothing to be afraid of, if I have a daughter, I will dread the day that we have “the talk,” and will hope her mother is still part of our family so she can take the reigns on it just because I am not good with awkward situations.  I would be just as awkward about my son.  Probably moreso, because I figure I can’t weasel my way out of that one and I am just fucked.

61. But dads, do not try to iron her bras. This is a mistake you will only make once.

No, I wouldn’t.  I’m not this retarded male stereotype you have in your head.

62. Examine how domestic labor is divided in your home. Who does the cleaning, the childcare, the organizing, the meal budgeting? Sons, this goes for you, too.

Here’s the thing, sugar-tits, if I have a partner that I’m living with, I figure the two of us would have an arrangement about how the household chores get done.  That’s part of being in a relationship – talking to your partner.  I’m sorry you never learned about that.

63. Learn how to do domestic tasks to a high standard. “I’d only do it wrong” is a bullshit excuse.

Oh look!  Another example of things from “Shit that Never Happens Land”!

64. Never again comment on how long it takes a woman to get ready. WE ARE TRYING TO MEET THE RIDICULOUS STANDARDS OF A SYSTEM YOU BENEFIT FROM.

Oh fuck off!  The ONLY people who care about how a woman looks are other women.  Period.  Or guys so vain that if you are with them in the first place you already accepted that.  Who do you think reads beauty magazines?  Who do you think judges the dresses of women at Hollywood awards shows?  It’s other women!  Men don’t care.  I don’t benefit since I tend to prefer women who like how they look naturally and aren’t so concerned with how everyone else thinks.  Self-confidence is a big turn-on in a romantic sense.  Sexual too.  I like a woman who knows what she wants in bed as well.

65. Challenge the patriarchs in your religious group when they enable the oppression of women.

I’m an atheist.  Doesn’t apply to me.

66. Challenge the patriarchs in your secular movement when they enable the oppression of women.

No such animal.  All of the male voices in the secular community I listen to are not sexist idiots like you.

67. Trust women’s religious choices. Don’t pretend to liberate them just so you can criticise their beliefs.

If they’ve embraced modern feminism, they are already a part of a church I don’t want into.  So yeah, I’m good on this too.

68. Examine who books your trips, arranges outings, organizes Christmas, buys birthday cards. Is it a woman? IS IT?

Hey bitch, I live alone.  Been single for a long time.  I have no money for trips.  That’s a nice dream I can have.  Outings?  Those happen when I have something I think looks like fun.  Organizes Christmas?  All me, honey.  I make the desserts like I did last year that were a smash hit.  Don’t buy birthday cards.  A waste of money.  So fuck off!

69. And if it is actually you, a man, don’t even dare get in touch with me looking for your medal.

I think you can suck a dick, bitch.  Or a lick a pussy.  I figure that’s more to your liking.

70. Take stock of the emotional labor you expect from women. Do you turn to the women around you for emotional support and give nothing in return?

Male or female, I do everything I can to support the people in my life, if they come to me.  I put a lot of effort into being a good friend.  I give and give and give, asking for nothing in return.  It has sucked the life out of me.  Makes how, when I am hurting and reach out, nobody seems to have the time of day hurt that much worse.  I believe in loyalty to whoever is in my life.  Too bad that it is a one-way street in my world.

71. Remember that loving your mom/sister/girlfriend is not the same as giving up your own privilege to progress equality for women. And that gender inequality extends beyond the women in your direct social group.

You were born with Original Sin!  Now enter the church of feminism and be cleansed in the name of Anita!

72. Don’t assume that all women are attracted to men.

I don’t.  I assume you aren’t.  But one of my favorite girly-mates is gay as the day is long.  So yeah, fuck off.

73. Don’t assume that a woman in public wants to talk to you just because she’s in public.

I tend to avoid talking to people in public on my own because I have crippling social anxiety.  But because I am taller than everyone and people come talk to me, you’d never know that.  When people talk to me, I am pretty great.  If someone doesn’t, I try to avoid making eye contact with them.

74. If a woman tells you she was raped, assaulted, or abused, don’t ask her for proof. Ask how you can support her.

I will tell her to go to the police, because I want the person who did that brought to justice.  See, my personal inclination to believe them due to a preexisting friendship needs to be negated by the issue being settled in a court of law.

75. If you see a friend or colleague being inappropriate to a woman, call him out. You will survive the awkwardness, I promise.

If someone is being a jerk to anyone, and I am familiar enough with them to approach them about it, I will.  It’s called being a good person.  And unlike you, I will do that if they are being that way to a man or a woman.  It’s called not having a double-standard, which you clearly do.

76. Repeat after me: Always. Hold. Men. Accountable. For. Their. Actions.

Actions, sure.  Words, no.  If it’s a potential crime, I’ll hold them accountable if they are found guilty of it.  I don’t believe in the court of public opinion that you all want to make.

77. Do not walk too close to a woman late at night. That shit can be scary.

Honey, I walk very slowly naturally.  I guarantee you that she is outpacing me.

78. If you see a woman being followed or otherwise bothered by a stranger, stick around to make sure she’s safe.

If I see someone about to attack her, I’ll step in.  Otherwise, I am not just going to make assumptions about a random person talking to a random female.

79. This should go without saying: Do not yell unsolicited “compliments” at women on the street. Or anywhere.

Again, crippling social anxiety.  But there’s nothing to be in quotations about.  I’m not yelling “nice titties!” to some female.  But if someone I know is out and about and I see them, I may wave or something to get their attention.  You all take anyone yelling things, no matter how innocuous, as a threat.  That’s on you, not us.

80. If you are a queer man, recognize that your sexuality doesn’t exclude you from potential misogyny.

Recognize that there has been plenty of misandry on this list.

81. If you are a queer man, recognize that your queer women or non-binary friends may not feel comfortable in a male-dominated space, even if it’s dominated by queer men.

They can go somewhere else.  I’m not forcing anyone to stay where I am.

82. Be happy to have women friends without needing them to want to sleep with you. The “friend zone” is not a thing. We do not owe you sex.

Got plenty of platonic women friends.  And the friend zone exists in that there are people who you see just as friends and not potential partners.  It’s not just men with “Nice Guy Syndrome” who invented that.  You seem to forget that there are women who can be in there too.  Plenty of women have guys they are interested in who don’t see them the same way.

83. Remember that you can lack consent in situations not involving sex—such as when pursuing uninterested women or forcing a hug on a colleague.

Wait, one of these things is not like the other.  Pursuing an uninterested woman?  Like how?  As in asking her out on a date?  Or asking if she wants to have sex?  What’s the problem?  So long as if she says no you don’t push it further, you did nothing wrong.  Can only woman approach men about dating or sex?  No wonder publications are asking why men are so pussy around women these days.  You promote it.

84. Champion sex positive women but don’t expect them to have sex with you.

I assume no woman, ever or will ever, wants to have sex with me.  My hatred of myself is a force of nature.

85. Trust a woman to know her own body. If she says she won’t enjoy part of your sexual repertoire, do not try to convince her otherwise.

I don’t do one-night stands.  I do do friends with benefits, back when I had people in my life who dug that.  If I am intimate with someone, I try and keep the lines of communication open.  There is also reading body signals, like being them being uncomfortable.  Unlike you, I think intimacy is a thing.  How I feel for the men who would get with people like you.  Those poor bastards.  They stuck their dick in crazy.

86. Be sensitive to nonverbal cues from women, especially around sex. We’re not just being awkward for no reason. (You read “Cat Person,” didn’t you?)

What do you know, I just talked about this.

87. It is not cute to try to persuade a woman to have sex with you. EVER. AT ALL. Go home.

Being the Roosh V kinda creeper, yeah, that isn’t cute.  But if you are in a serious relationship with someone and you want to talk about the idea of sex, it shouldn’t be off the table.  That being said, don’t be a creeper.  It’s a balancing act, one that has no clear answer.

88. Same goes for pressuring women to have sex without a condom. Go. Home. And masturbate.

If you are having sex with someone, communication is the point.  If you are having a one-night stand, you are an idiot if you don’t have a condom.  If you are in a serious relationship, there is no reason you can’t negotiate with your partner.

89. Accidentally impregnated a women who doesn’t want a kid? Abortions cost money. Pay for half of it.

And of the guys who wanted her to have the kid and don’t get a choice in the matter (I do support a woman’s rights to her body, but the lack of male options in getting to opt out of having a child is something I’ve talked about before)?  Not all men are pigs who don’t want to be a good father.  I’m aware you probably don’t believe that, but still.

90. Accidentally came inside a woman without protection? Plan B is expensive. Pay for all of it.

No.  Ladies, you took that risk if you had sex without protection.  If he didn’t have a condom, you could have opted out, or gotten birth control.  It’s not his fault that you didn’t take the due diligence to protect yourself.

91. Get STD tested. Regularly. Without having to be asked.

That goes both ways.  As someone who had to get tested because someone I was intimate with didn’t tell me about their sexual history (I am clean, thank Groj!), this is such a blatant double-standard.

92. Examine your opinion on abortion. Then put it in a box. Because, honestly, it’s completely irrelevant.

Already pro-choice.  Whatever.

93. Understand that disabled women are whole, sexual human beings. Listen to and respect them.

Wait…what?  I’m not even sure what this is talking about.

94. Understand that not all women have periods or vaginas.

Understand that if I am getting intimate with someone who identifies as a woman, and they have a dick, I’m not going to be attracted to them anymore.  That’s life.  Don’t like dicks on my women.

95. Believe women’s pain. Periods hurt. Endometriosis is real. Polycystic ovaries, vaginal pain, cystitis. These things are real. Hysteria isn’t.

Believe men’s pain.  Smashing your balls between your legs hurts.  A lot.  Not that you care.  Because you’re a bitch.

96. If a woman accidentally bleeds on you, try your absolute best to just keep your shit together.

I’ll be more annoyed about stains on my clothes than anything.  Blood don’t come out easy.

97. Lobby your elected officials to implement high quality sex education in schools.

Wow.  Something on this list that I agree with 100%.  Holy shit!  This is weird.

98. Uplift young Black and Indigenous girls at every possible opportunity. No excuses.

If they’ve earned it, sure.  If they haven’t, no.  And haven’t we talked about this already?

99. Do not ever assume you know what it’s like.

What what’s like?

100. Mainly, just listen to women. Listen to us and believe us. It’s the only place to start if you actually want all women to have a “Happy International Women’s Day.”

I don’t “listen and believe” anyone.  I don’t accept articles of faith.  I left the church for a reason.  Not looking to set up shop at yours

I am NEVER doing anything like this again.  There’s another list for people of color (I hate that term so much.  It’s an “of” and “ed” away from colored people), and I am not touching that with a ten foot pole.  This is so annoying.  I’m done.

Until next time, a quote,

“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.” – Professor Farnsworth, Futurama

Peace out,

Maverick

So Tired of You Playing the Woman Card (A response to Hillary Clinton)

Why can’t this woman just go away?  Why can’t she realize that her political career is forever destroyed and just disappear?  To this day I don’t begrudge that she lost.  As much as Trump is the personification of a 14 year old boy in the White House, I still don’t feel bad that he won and she lost.  This woman is a menace, and with the reveal from Donna Brazile, we now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Hillary rigged the primary against Bernie Sanders.  It’s not a question anymore, it’s a fact.  But the first source that revealed her lies might have been Russia!  Oh no!  But now, she’s back again, to play the woman card to get sympathy.  I’m sick of it.

See, she is mad that people are telling her to shut up and go away now that she’s lost and everyone sees her for the greedy, corrupt shill that she is.  She said that people never said that to a man.  Oh really?  Do tell, Hillary, what man in recent memory has been busted rigging a primary, buying their party, damn-near restarting the Cold War to try and get people’s attention away from her lies, and then refusing to just go the fuck away after the firestorm is done?  I’m all ears.  Tell you what, you find me a man who meets those criteria and I will tell him to shut up as well.  Just say the word.  Come on, all you dejected Democrats who care more about party than you do about principles, find me the Presidential candidate who meets those criteria and we can all pile on to that person together.

I fucking hate how this woman keeps playing the woman card the second there is any push-back.  It’s the cowardly response of someone who has absolutely ZERO argument in her favor or nothing legitimate to say to their detractors and just wants to stamp their feet and be like “but mommy, I was supposed to be President!”  It’s the card people play when they have no argument but their own butthurt.

It’s also a way to deflect criticism without having to answer for it.  SJW after SJW has done it.  The moment that any female ones are taken to task for the stupid bullshit that they say, they instantly retreat behind the female card and say they don’t have to explain their position to you, it’s on you to learn about it, or that they are never wrong because woman.  Or minority.  Hell, if they can pull both cards then they are just golden.  Women from Anita Sarkeesian, Brianna Wu, Rebecca Watson, Laci Green, and countless others all pull the Woman Card the second the criticism gets to them.  One among those has at least come down from her pedestal a little, but I didn’t hear her apologizing to Roaming Millennial for filing a DMCA claim against her.  Or for her insane tirade after Trump won the election that looked SO immature.

People like this really do make women look bad when they immediately have to go to the “but I’m a woman!” defense and let their white knights fight for them.  Hillary has had so many people desperately trying to defend what a crooked piece of shit she is.  Like after Donna Brazile let the cat out of the bag in terms of what Hillary did to rig the primary against Bernie Sanders, you had people being like “so she bought the DNC, that doesn’t mean Bernie didn’t have a chance!  So what if she had all the party’s donations going to her and kept the DNC employees on slave wages.  So watch if she had the entire media fighting for her while undercutting Bernie.  So what if there was convenience after convenience in states where Bernie was polling vastly better than her, and she used every political trick she could to get it so Bernie supporters who were Independent couldn’t vote in the primaries?  That doesn’t mean anything!”

Hillary, find me a man who is currently in politics who has done things as bad as you and has refused to just fade into the sunset the way you desperately need to, and I will tell him to shut up too.  Until then, your vagina doesn’t make you immune from criticism, and the fact is that you are a corrupt cunt who rightfully got destroyed like the piece of trash you are!  And before you say that I wouldn’t say anything like what I’m saying to you to a man, I have said NOTHING nice about Trump.  This guy is like a giant 14 year old boy, and his sycophants on /r/TheDonald are some of the funniest useful idiots I’ve ever seen.

Until next time, a quote,

“It’s never too late to shut up, if you know you are lying.” – Anonymous

Peace out,

Maverick

Women Should Be Discouraged From Serving in the Military…?

I saw this rather terrible review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi that made me cringe a little.  It hated the movie as much as I did, but their reasons for hating it were just ridiculous.  It made these huge assertions about what the film promotes that just blow my mind.  I hate the film because it is a dumpster fire that butchers Luke’s character, has the biggest Mary Sue ever, and decided that instead of making a film that follows the plot from the last film, it is going to just go its own way.  Along the way we’ll get Leia Poppins and Tumblrina captain.  Great work.

But the video I mentioned had this weird contention that it said The Last Jedi was promoting – the idea that more women need to join the military, which the maker of the video said is wrong because women are weaker than men, on average.  To be fair, biologically that is true.  We are a sexually dimorphic species, and women are weaker than men on average.  Here’s the thing – how does this invalidate the idea that women should serve in the military?

One of my favorite women joined up with the Navy last year.  She is going into intelligence work, and her stories about life in the military fascinate me to no end.  Just makes me wonder what might of been had I not busted my skull open when I was 14.  I am immensely proud of her, and listening to her talk about her career with the military never stop being interesting.  She was telling me one day how she read an article about how the Navy SEALS were letting women join up.  She was skeptical of this for one simple reason – the physical requirements to be a SEAL are insane.  She broke it down for me, and to hear about that told me that unless these women were Olympians who train every day for it, the odds that they will meet the physical requirements to get past the initial phase that weeds out those who can’t measure up is ridiculous.  What’s more, she expressed the desire to not see the Navy lower their standards for women, because to be a SEAL, you need the physical conditioning that they require.  I totally get that.

Here’s what bothers me about this idea that women should not join the military – does this guy think that people see female soldiers as Black Widow from the Marvel films?  Yeah, in the regard it sounds ridiculous.  Seeing a woman who weighs very little taking on a ton of guys who would throw her against a wall is kind of silly.  But here’s the thing – that’s fiction.  And anyone with sense knows that.  Real combat, especially in the modern era, is so much different.  The reality is that you will hardly ever see combatants like in a CoD game shooting each other at damn-near point blank range.  In war you typically have combatants exchanging fire over huge amounts of distance and firing a ton of shots with very few hitting home.  Real war is messy, and complicated.  This isn’t Hollywood, and people know this.

But when you hear stories about the Kurdish women fighting ISIS and scoring real victories against them, or how women in Eastern Europe are forming militias that can stand up under fire, it really makes this argument that women should be discourage from serving not only sound kind of stupid, but more than a little sexist.  Can’t wait to see who calls me an SJW for that.  I said that an opinion someone has is sexist.  It’s true.  And I believe it too.  This guy is a sexist idiot who can’t look at reality and see that things are not as simple as rejecting the stereotypes in Hollywood.

Now look, I do firmly believe that the military shouldn’t lower their standards for women.  If you want to serve in a combat role, then you damn well should prove that you can measure up.  That’s only fair.  Demands for those roles are high, and those who want to take on that responsibility should have to prove themselves.  But while there are going to be less women up to the task than there are men, I whole-heartedly know that such women exist.

The real thing that irks me about the attitude of that guy is that that is part of the reason that the military has such a huge problem with sexual assault.  Sex crimes in the military is a fucking epidemic.  I can’t disclose what I have been told about what they tell women who join up behind closed doors about how to protect themselves, but it is scary stuff. Now granted, there are plenty of guys in the military who have just as much respect for the women they serve with as men.  But it’s like the cops.  You have a job that promotes gung-ho male toughness, you’re gonna get a lot of dumb-shit masculine guys with more penis blood than brain blood.

But the tide may be turning.  Now that women are being allowed into combat roles, things might get better.  For the women looking to serve, just make sure when you go places, you never go alone.  Build up a network of people you can trust.  It’s only smart.  See, unlike the people who say we need to tell men not to rape, I tell you to take sensible precautions because you are in a field where there are plenty of guys who only think with their cocks and leave their morals at the door.

I honestly would love to see the guy who made that video say that shit to one of the Kurdish women fighters.  They’d probably punch him in the dick.

Until next time, a quote,

“We have women in the military, but they don’t put us on the front lines.  They don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill.  I think we can.  All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, ‘you see the enemy over there?  They say you look fat in those uniforms.'” – Elayne Boosler

Peace out,

Maverick

Why Can’t Women Directors Win More Awards?!

This is a question I saw floating around Twitter a few days ago.  It seems that some of the Twitter SJW crowd has a real problem with the fact that the films nominated for Best Director all share the fact that they are directed by men, and want to see women getting the nod.  For starters, who even cares what wins these stupid awards?  I have never understood why people care about film awards.  The Oscars are a stupid waste of time, and it’s all just the entertainment industry sucking its own dick.  My favorite film of 2016 was barely recognized – Arrival.  Some truly amazing works of cinematic art get snubbed for awards because there was some musical or some historical piece film that the studio eats up.  It’s asinine.

But then I got to thinking about the question at hand.  Why don’t more women directors win awards?  It’s simple – because as in the case of this year, the best films were made by men.  I have no problem with great films made by women.  The Hurt Locker deserved the accolades it received.  Sofia Coppola can’t act for shit, but Lost in Translation is an amazing film where an amazing actress and a veteran actor get to show off their stuff like never before.  There is no reason to believe that women cannot make films that are just as amazing as what men direct.  However, the films that I love recently have been directed by men.  I’m sorry, but it’s true.  The truly stand-out directors lately have been men willing to take the medium and push boundaries.  They are making transformative works.

Directors like Dennis Villenueve, who directed my favorite film of last year, and this year with the outstanding sequel to Blade Runner.  He took the Hollywood sequel machine and turned it on its head with one of the greatest sequels of all time, that I will be doing a very in-depth review on when I get it on blu-ray and can sit down and really digest it.  Christopher Nolan is a director who I am convinced had his family killed by a computer because of how hard he goes out of his way not to put CG in his films.  Dunkirk was phenomenal.  Another film where I am going to write about it as soon as I can sit down with it and really digest it as a film.  Edgar Wright made a film about a driver that was a dark action film featuring amazing performances and everything in the film being synced to the soundtrack.  That is amazing!  Masterful editing!  I am of course talking about Baby Driver.  Call his works pretentious, but Wes Anderson is finally getting mainstream recognition for his quirky comedies that bring back some old-school methods of filmmaking.

You know what all those directors have in common?  Pushing boundaries.  All of them take the medium and make it into something more.  I firmly believe that women can do the exact same thing.  No joke there, I believe it from the bottom of my little black atheist heart.  There is no reason to think otherwise.  So why aren’t we seeing more female directors getting a nod?  Well, that’s because this year I am reading about amazing films that I have loved, and I don’t see any women on the directorial stage for any of them.  Women can do amazing things.  Sometimes all it takes is the guts to be willing to do something insane when no one else wants you to.  Or to be given something that no one believes will work and doing something different with it that if nothing else gets people to take a second look.  Or maybe it’s taking a dry genre and injecting new life into it with a unique spin that takes everyone by surprise.

I remember back when the first Twilight film was being made and how everyone was saying it was a paradigm shift because it was being directed by a woman.  Women power!  Only that’s not how it turned out, was it?  It was a boring, vanilla, bland piece of shit that only lonely teenage girls without a personality could like.  I hear they’re planning to reboot the films.  WHY?!  Whose idea was that, and can I have their number so I can ask?

These people who are on Twitter yelling about not enough women winning awards are not the ones who are doing anything to change it.  One of my favorite films is Monsters.  It’s about two people trying to get back through Mexico after an alien invasion.  It’s a quiet, slow-burn film.  You know how it was made?  The director decided he wanted to make a film without a huge budget and took insane risks with what he called “guerrilla filmmaking.”  It’s when you only have the equipment you need.  You shoot in real time and then have a single day to edit it.  You’re constantly on the move.  The result was a masterful film with a beautiful story.  Hey women on Twitter, what’s stopping you from doing that?

Making amazing films comes down to guts and the willingness to do whatever it takes to make your vision come to life and the talent to make that vision good.  It’s not easy.  Ask anyone who has been through the process and they’ll tell you that it takes grit and determination and a shit-ton of effort from very talented people.  In modern blockbusters that means people who can make CG come to life.  Ladies, if you want more women to do that, then you tell me – what are the films they’ve made recently that can measure up?  If there are any women who are taking those risks, let them be recognized here.  I mean that, tell me who they are and show me their work.  Let’s see who these pioneers are.  But don’t say that it should just be women being given awards because they have a vagina.

Until next time, a quote,

“When people ask me if I went to film school, I tell them ‘no, I went to films.'” – Quentin Tarantino

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Respond to 20 Things Men Can Do to Support Women (according to Medium)

I haven’t done one of these in forever.  After I got through all of BuzzFeed Yellow’s insipid catalog of crap, I haven’t had one of these to do.  Well, a woman who isn’t know for anything outside of being a glorified blogger decided to go to Medium and make another list.  I decided to respond to it and see if I fit the terms of a person who supports women, according to the criteria that she laid out.  Here’s a link to the article, now let’s see how I do.

Overcome your own transphobia. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Accept the lived truth of NB and GNC people, whether or not they are women.

Nothing to overcome.  I treat people as they come.  I don’t care about trans people any more or less than I don’t already care about anyone else.  I’m a misanthrope.  Granted, I believe in treating all people with basic levels of respect, so long as they treat me in kind.  That seems like a good criteria.  Unless of course that person is Riley J Dennis, in which case she can fuck right off because she is a prick who has the same beliefs about sexual preferences as pray-the-gay-away preachers.  So I got this first one down.  Excellent.

Be pro-choice and be vocal in support of reproductive rights. (And generous! Give to the National Network of Abortion Funds!) Understand that the opposite of reproductive choice is forced childbearing.

I have made donations in the past to Planned Parenthood, which I trust infinitely more than your charity because it is known for the results it gets and the transparency which it operates.  I have always been pro-choice.  Got this one too.  Damn!  I am on a roll!

Support subsidized birth control. Support women’s healthcare. Support women’s preventative healthcare. Support medical trials that include (or even prioritize) women.

I’ll do you one better, cupcake.  Instead of just supporting women’s healthcare, I support universal healthcare.  That way, everyone can have the healthcare they need without worrying if it will put them in bankruptcy.  So I am actually one-upping you here.  Nice!  I think I may be a very good “ally” for women, according to this woman’s criteria.  But I won’t be supporting medical trials that prioritize women.  If it’s for a drug or medical procedure that’s for both genders instead of just being a drug for women, then there’s no reason for me to support prioritizing women.  None.  So you got me there.

Support nontaxed menstrual products. Ask your workplace if tampons and pads are free. If they’re not, advocate for them to be free. Get over any embarrassment you may have about menstruation.

Don’t care about menstruation.  It’s all just biology to me.  As for supporting non-taxed, why would I support a product being given out for free?  Condoms aren’t free.  If it’s a product made by a company, why would I support them not charging money for it?  Companies can have whatever policy they want in regards to selling this stuff, but as for me, I don’t support us just giving shit away to people if it cost money to produce.  So I can’t support this part.  Guess my ally cred is slipping.

Vocally advocate at your workplace for longer and more egalitarian paid parental leave, whether or not parenthood is part of your life. Advocate for lactation spaces. Advocate for on-site or subsidized childcare.

Here’s a question – do you believe this should be applied equally to men.  Some countries have paid paternity leave.  That seems fair.  But here’s the thing – people leaving on maternity leave is an imposition on a company.  I’m not about to sit here and pretend that a corporation whose only concern is making money should just totally wave off the fact that losing an employee to have a kid is a problem for them.  Is that fair?  No.  But it’s the risk women taken when they choose to have children.  I’m sorry, but most women understand that risk when they take that step.

Tell your elected officials that you are a man who votes and you prioritize women’s issues when you decide who to vote for. Then actually prioritize women’s issues when you decide who to vote for. Understand that women’s issues are your issues.

I don’t prioritize women’s issues.  I prioritize issues that affect my life.  Like when my state chose to legalize pot.  I vote in that election.  I voted in the primary for Bernie Sanders, then wrote in Harambe in the general election because I didn’t (and still don’t) support either of those ass-clowns.  If that’s a problem, sorry-not-sorry.  Issues for other women are not necessarily my issues.  I’m not a feminist.  I’m an egalitarian.  In that same election where we voted to legalize pot, I voted to raise the minimum wage because the girl I was dating at the time was making that and I supported that issue.

Whenever you are in a group composed of only men (whether it’s social, work, church, or whatever) ask yourself why there are no women present. Then ask out loud why. Force an honest answer.

I have no groups I am a part of that only have men.  I’m not really a group person.  I don’t believe in Gawd.  My office has a ton of women in it.  My immediate supervisor is a woman, and she is viewed as the mom of the office for being so good at whipping it into shape.  She’s a hell of a woman and has years of status under her belt showing she’s earned her place.  So yeah, this question has no relevance to me of any kind.

Cultivate genuine, intimate, nonsexual friendships with women.

Got a ton of those.  No problem whatsoever.

Seek out women to be your heroes and mentors.

My heroes are George Carlin and H.L. Mencken.  Find me a woman who can compare to them and I’ll let you know what I think.

Any time you see a building, street, institution, etc. named for a man, see how long it takes you to spot another one named for a woman.

What the fuck do I care what a building, street, or institution is named after?  Nothing.  Why do you care?  What effect does this have on your life?

Ask yourself what things you don’t do, for whatever reason, that you also think of as something women tend to do. (Sew? Send birthday cards? Care about skincare?) Try doing it for a while, just to see what it’s like to be a person who does the thing.

I love to cook, I take care of my sad apartment by myself.  I’ve sewn buttons back on clothes.  Went shopping for lotion with a girly-mate and was cool when she bought some for me.  There’s nothing to think about.  What is this idea that all men seem to believe that there are some tasks that only women are supposed to do?  I guess only women can have lesbian sex.  There’s a task.  I found one.  Happy now?

Talk less. In all spaces. At all times. At a lower volume.

Um, no.  So long as I’m not hurting anyone or being rude and interrupting, I’ll do whatever the fuck I want when I’m not at my job.  Don’t assume you have ANY right to tell me how to conduct myself.

When you need support, reach out to men as well as women. Work to be a person your friends of all genders can reach out to when they need support. Create a culture of openness around yourself.

Nobody wants me around when I need support.  See, I’m kind of a negative person suffering from hardcore depression.  However, because of my depression, I keep an open door to all people in my circle of friends who need to talk.  That’s important to me.  Because I am the kind of person who is easy to forget, I will never let anyone in my circle who wants me there to feel they are forgotten.  So got the openness status all locked down.

Consume media marketed to women. Don’t perform your consumption.

I don’t care who media is marketed towards so long as it fits in my view of things I like.  My favorite film of all time is a hardcore love story (5 Centimeters Per Second).  Does that count?  I’ll consume whatever I like.  I like and dislike a lot of things.  My likes and dislikes run the gamut.  But I don’t think about it as something marketed towards women.  I think about it in terms of – do I think this product looks good?  If yes, then I consume it.  It’s why I drink fruity drinks and not whiskey shots.  Why are you working so hard to divide media when you should be taking my approach and encouraging people to create media that is meant to be marketed as broadly as possible?

Deprogram your beliefs about thinness being an optimal state of feminine beauty. Deprogram your beliefs that your desire matters in determining a woman’s worth.

No.  Fuck you.  What I want in a partner is my business.  It’s not yours or anyone else’s.  Same with what you want.  Since I’m bisexual, my desires for men and women are my own.  And yeah, I’m never gonna find a landwhale attractive.  I’m sorry.  I don’t mind women with a few extra pounds.  I like a girl I can eat a pizza with or get a burger and not have her going on about how bad it is.  A totally platonic girly-mate occasionally comes over for dinner and she goes to the gym but also likes the food I make.  I just won’t find attractive a quality in a person that I believe is detrimental.  If someone is eating themselves to death, I find that unappealing.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Obese has NEVER been the standard of beauty.  It never will.

Jerk off without porn for a while. EDIT: This really should be “Pay for your porn.” In particular, seek out (and pay for) porn that’s made by women, queer people, and people of color, and that’s produced ethically. Consume sexual culture as thoughtfully as you would consume any culture.

I jerk off without porn all the time.  I have a very vivid imagination.  I don’t care who porn is made by.  I care about the content.  Don’t even bother to look into who made something.  It’s almost like I’m just trying to get off and then go about my day.

Learn about racism and intersectionality, and do everything you can to empower and amplify black women and NBWOC.

Not into the social justice scene.  Not even a little.  I fucking hate this victim culture people in the first world have.  So yeah, can’t get on-board with that even a little.

Detach yourself from straw-man definitions for hot-button issues (intersectionality, cultural appropriation, political correctness, preferred pronouns, etc.) and learn what they’re really about. Unpack the real meanings behind phrases like “SJW” and “feminazi.” Believe people when they say they’re in pain.

I have detached myself from straw-man definitions.  See, part of why I respond to posts like these is so I can make sure I don’t leave out context.  For many years I have responded to posts like this and made very clear my disdain for a large swath of people within the social justice community because of the things they say and the ideas they propagate.  So yeah, not gonna get behind this either.

Prioritize kindness.

Decent advice, I guess.

Befriend children.

I hate children.  I will never like children.  The job I have right now is the greatest form of birth control in the universe.  So yeah, never gonna do that either.

All things considered, this was pretty standard feminist advice bullshit for men.  Seen shit like this before on BuzzFeed.  Honestly surprised she didn’t say to stop looking at lesbian porn or something like that, but whatever.  How did I do?

Until next time, a quote,

“I won’t bore you with the details, but after reading these articles I discovered three modes of excuse-making – I mean thinking! – 1. pointless list-making, 2. dumb observations, and 3. overly intellectualizing” – Harry Ass Plinkett

Peace out,

Maverick