Let’s Respond to Indicators That You Might be a Liberal (From Hunter and Friends)

Hey everybody.  It seems that BuzzFeed’s retarded questions have led people to making videos in the same vein to get their own political agenda across.  Now we have a conservative named Hunter Avalone who has gotten together with his friends to make a video much in the vein of BuzzFeed and Jeff Foxworthy listing a series of qualities that may indicate that you are a liberal.  Here’s a link to the video, now let’s see if I fall into these categories.

If you’re upset there was no trigger warning at the beginning of this video

I wasn’t.

If you think burning the gay flag is a hate crime but burning the American flag is just fine

I think both are just fine.  They are pieces of cloth.  If people want to treat them like they are some kind of holy relic, that is their own dumbass decision to make.

You might be a liberal if your solution to everything is getting naked

Are you saying that getting naked can’t solve all problems?

You might be a liberal if a Muslim bakery baking a gay wedding cake doesn’t bother you at all, but the moment a Christian bakery does the same thing, you have a brain aneurysm

If both are privately owned businesses, I believe they have the right to refuse service to whoever they want.  As for me, I don’t care whose money it is, I’ll take it.  As do most businesses in this country.  If somebody wants to be a bigoted asshole, that’s on them.

You might be a liberal if you mistake a construction marker for a swastika

The video shows a news article.  It may also be that they are part of a reactionary media whose entire business runs on clicks so you make click-bait-y things that lack nuance.  Just saying, that may also be a possibility.

You might be a liberal if you think there are more than two genders.

No, you might be an SJW.  I am a liberal and I disagree with that belief.

If you think CNN is a credible news source

Just as credible as Fox News

If you think all white people are racist, but we’re also all muslim

Yeah, Michael Moore holding up that sign does look pretty silly.  I happen to disagree with both of those assessments, but I am still a liberal.  You all’s examples need work.

If you aren’t racist but you think black people are too stupid to get a voter ID

So you want to have voter ID laws unilaterally applied?  As in equally across all demographics?  Because given some history in this country with how voter ID laws have been abused, I’m just wondering if you also support profiling.  I mean, you did use black people as your example.

If fact is your least favorite F word

I am dying to know when Fox News has had fact as their F word.  Mine is “fuck.”  As in – fuck conservative ideas that the facts always are on their side.

If you think men should stop telling women what to do with their bodies, but you think women should be able to tell men what to do with their bodies

I don’t think anyone should tell anyone what to do with their bodies, so long as they aren’t hurting anyone.

You might be a liberal if you think women should be allowed to walk around topless and free the nipple!

I like boobs, so yeah, let’s do it!  They just lose the right for me not to gawk if they are out in public with their tits hanging out.

But you also think the hijab is empowerment and not oppressive at all

I do think it’s oppressive.  The religion of Islam is misogynistic as fuck, and I am baffled at how the SJWs can defend it.

If you label everyone you don’t like as a fascist without even knowing what a fascist really is

Yeah, the calling of people Nazis just because they don’t agree with you is pretty stupid.  You all got on Glenn Beck when he did that indiscriminately too, right?

If “Faggot!” triggered you

Given what a little bitch you look like, you calling anyone a faggot is very strange.

If you think all white men are white supremacists and Nazis

Already talked about this.

If you think black people can’t be racist

They most assuredly can.  As can any other ethnic group.

If you go to give a speech on global warming riding in your private jet

Yeah, that does seem a touch bit hypocritical.

If someone criticizing violence done in the name of Islam offends you more than the violence itself

I am a liberal and I agree that people’s attitudes with this whole “islamophobia” stuff is beyond retarded.

If you need a safe space

I don’t

If climate change is directly linked to the growth of terrorism

It kinda is.  As the world heats up and more and more ethnic groups are being forced together, terrorism is going to increase.

If you think women are paid less than men for the exact same work

I don’t think that way.  When you correct for variables other than the average earnings of men and women, the wage gap all but vanishes.  What is left might very well be actual discrimination, and I do believe it should be stopped, but it isn’t this .77 cents on the dollar myth.

If you were offended by this video

I wasn’t.  It was stupid.

So, what do you think?  Am I a liberal?  Oh, wait, I said I am.  Well, shit.  You got me, Hunter.

Until next time, a quote,

“Stupid is as stupid does.” – Forrest Gump

Peace out,

Maverick

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Let’s Respond to Christians (of BuzzFeed) Defending Themselves

I’ve done a lot of responses to BuzzFeed Yellow videos.  The bulk of which are questions that one ethnic group has for stereotypical white people.  Because I guess stereotypes are fine, so long as it’s against a class of people that they don’t like.  Funny how that works.  I even did a response to an older BuzzFeed video where they tried to tackle Islam and their stereotypes against us whiteys.  Well, now it seems that Christians want to take their crack at it.  So let’s tackle this.  Here’s a link to their video, now let’s get down to it.  I get the feeling that they are going to  be fighting against Strawman Atheist in this video.

I’m Christian, but I’m not homophobic

Good for you.  Your holy book is.

I’m Christian and I’m definitely not perfect.

Don’t Christians believe that they are born with sin that the have to eternally pray for?

I’m Christian, but I’m not close-minded.

Your holy book is.  Just look at their opinions about shellfish and rape.

But I’m not unaccepting

Okay

But I’m not uneducated.

You believe that the world was created by a divine being who reigns over us all.  Either you are deliberately ignorant or you are closing off part of your faculties in order to preserve that belief structure.  Which is it?

But I’m not judgmental.

Everyone is judgmental.  Everyone.  That is the ultimate lie.

But I’m not conservative.

So, the parts of the Bible that say that women are to keep silent and gay men are to be stoned to death?  Do you just close your eyes and pretend that those don’t exist?  I honestly am more annoyed by liberal Christians than conservatives.  At least the conservatives are honest about their premise.

But I’m not ignorant.

You believe that a magical man in the sky created the universe.  Yes you are.

But I don’t place myself on a pedestal.

You’re in a BuzzFeed video.  Yes you do.

I’m a Christian, but I don’t have all the answers.

Glad to hear that.  Shows real humility.

But I am accepting.

Cool

But I am queer

Fantastic.  Your God hates you.  And his kid said that that didn’t go away with his appearance.  He outright says that he did not come to abolish the Old Testament laws, but to fulfill them.

But I am gay.

See previous response.  Your God hates you.

But I am a feminist.

So, those parts that say that a woman is less than a man and that women should have no power over men and that women should stay silent in church?  Or the part that says that a man who rapes a girl should have to pay the father some silver shekels and marry her?  You just pretend that doesn’t exist?

But I’m a feminist.

Same deal.

Definitely am a feminist.

The logical hoops you must jump through for that are impressive.

But I do believe in science.  In fact, I think science makes God look really cool.

Oh yeah.  Like that part where he creates a person by pushing some dirt together and breathing into that.  Something that scientifically impossible.  Yup, that totally makes God look cool.  Or the part where God floods the entire world, which is impossible due to the fact that there is no amount of water that exists that could do such a thing.  Or that the rain would have to fall in such a way that it would be like smashing something over and over again with sheetrock for weeks.  Yeah, those biblical stories sure do make science and God seem compatible.

I’m not afraid to talk about sex.

Cool.  Same here.

I love Beyonce.

Who cares?

But I love wine!

Jesus turned his blood into it.  You’re cannibalizing him with each glass.

But I do believe in monogamy before sex.

You’re a Christian.  That’s not very shocking.

But I do go to church on Sunday.

Yeah, that makes sense.

I do listen to Christian music.  Christian rock, Christian rap, T-Mac (did I get that right?), all the cool kids.

You have shit taste in music.  Congrats.

I have friends from all walks of life and all religions.  And I love them all.

This isn’t a shock.  It’s like you think us atheists just assume that you all are part of conservatives enclaves.  We know that there are Christians of all stripes.

What I guess I want people to know about Christianity is that we’re kinda not all crazy.

Never said you were.  Just that your beliefs are really stupid.  How is this so complicated?

You shouldn’t be judged by just the people that you see in the media or just the people that you’ve met in your everyday life.

We all make judgments about people based on the people we meet in everyday life.  Hell, BuzzFeed’s existence is predicated on stereotypes.  Of white people.  And men.  And white men.  I judge people individually.  Do you?

A lot of people think that Christianity ruins people.

Citation, please.

But to me, I think that it’s people ruining Christianity.

Your book is bigoted and hateful.  I don’t get how this is so hard for you to understand.  It isn’t people twisting it.  It’s people believing in it.  I hate this mentality that because Jeebus came, it’s all about love and shit.  Jesus once said that he did not come as a shield, but as a sword, and told people that if they don’t love him more than their own family, they aren’t with him.  How can you just shrug that off?

You never really see the good that happens.  You only see the hypocrites.

I know, right?  I’m looking at one now.

But at it’s core, it really is about love and acceptance, and being a good neighbor.

Which passage and verse should I destroy this with?  I know – Genesis 6:7: “And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.”

Just because we have a faith that has a bunch of terrible people in it doesn’t make us terrible.

Agreed.  But you have a holy book that is full of terrible teachings.  How do you get around that?

And that’s this boredom.  That was the saddest defense of Christianity that I’ve seen in a while.

Until next time, a quote,

“I challenge you to find one good or noble thing that cannot be accomplished without religion.  It is impossible.  You cannot do it.” – Christopher Hitchens

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Answer Questions Muslims (of BuzzFeed) Have for Non-Muslims

Yup, BuzzFeed actually went there.  This isn’t on their BuzzFeed Yellow channel.  I guess this is supposed to be a more serious video.  It seems that this “news” outlet wants to tackle religion.  Clench your assholes, people.  This can’t be good.  Here’s a link to the original video, now let’s do this.

What’s the deal with Santa?  So breaking and entering is okay, so long as it’s a chubby white dude?

No.  I have no issue with Santa because he isn’t real.  Just like Allah, now that I think on it.  I do, however, have problems with the religion of Islam.  But I’m sure that the rest of your questions are going to be much more serious.

When are you gonna stop asking me if I pray five times a day?

I wouldn’t ask.  I don’t care.  I couldn’t possibly care less about what you do with your religion, so long as you aren’t hurting anyone.  If you’re just praying to your bullshit religion and honoring your pedophile prophet, that’s your business.

Why must you put bacon in EVERYTHING?

Because it’s tasty.

Do you really think women who wear a hijab don’t have hair underneath?

What…?  Who thinks this way?

Why do you think all Muslims are Arab?

I don’t, actually.  That’s something I point out to people who are stupid enough to make Islam out to be a race or a culture, like Ben Affleck did.  I know quite well that there are Muslims of all ethnic origins.  That’s why, when I insult the religion, I’m not talking to any ethnic group.  I’m talking to those who follow the religion.

Why are only Muslims mentioned in talks about religious extremism?  Did you know hear about the KKK?  Westboro Baptist Church?  Crusades?

Last I checked, the KKK didn’t blow up an airport in Brussels.  The Westboro Baptist Church didn’t drive a truck into people in Nice, and then subsequently get out of the truck with a rifle to continue killing.  And the Crusades?  That’s old history.  Are you still on about that?  You and Black Lives Matter should get together.  The simple reality is that Islamic terrorism is the predominate form of religious extremism right now, and it has an ever-growing body count.  Christian extremists took over a state building in Oregon.  The biggest false-equivalence that I have ever seen.

Why do you assume all Muslim women are conservative, virginal souls?

I don’t.  But when you have stories about gangs of Muslim women in Germany attacking women there while shouting that they are whores, it does make one wonder how big the liberal community is in Islam.

Why do you expect every Muslim woman to wear a head-scarf?  Does  every Catholic woman dress like a nun?  Does every Jewish man wear a yamaka?

Why do you keep making assumptions about my expectations?  There are old photos from Iran before extremist Islam took over where women are wearing bathing suits and looking like normal people.  Islam has all stripes, and if only there would be a movement like the suffragettes in the Middle East, then maybe the good days can come back and we can stop having insanity like ISIS palling around.  One of the reasons why I think that the Kurdish women fighters are just tops.  As for all Catholic women being dressed like nuns, pretty much every Eastern European woman I know who is Catholic dressed insanely conservative.  So there’s that.

Are you really scared we’re going to take over America with Sharia Law?

Nope.

Do you really think I want to donate 2.5% of my income to charity?

I’m assuming not, given your tone of voice and the look on your face when you said that.

What is the secret ingredient in Church’s chicken?

That is the dumbest question on any of these lists that I’ve tackled so far.

How can I hang out with the new Pope?

Got me.  Pope Jorge is just a figurehead, in my eyes.  At least until he starts giving some of these pedophile priests to the law.

Well, that wasn’t even approaching serious. That was stupid.  There were a thousand really interesting questions that they could have asked.  Maybe challenged some atheists on how we tend to be very visceral on the attack with their religion.  Believe it or not, but I would have loved to debate stuff like that.  Instead, we got empty questions that are about as insightful as a bologna sandwich.  Kinda want one of those right now.

Until next time, a quote,

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Murph!” – Joker, Batman: The Animated Series

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Answer 33 Questions White People (of BuzzFeed) Have for White People

How did I not see this?!  I am in love with BuzzFeed Yellow.  Doing responses to these videos is among the most fun I get to have.  This channel is basically taking the worst stereotypes about white people and having questions gears toward making those stereotypes defensive.  This channel is aptly named, as it is as yellow as “journalism” (or as close as BuzzFeed will ever get) gets without going over the edge.  Now we have one where we have some white people asking the white people stereotypes that BuzzFeed has some questions.  Let’s get some popcorn and break this sucker down!  Here’s a link to the original video, so you can’t say I’m taking things out of context.  Let’s do this.

Why do you assume only other races like fried chicken?

I don’t.  I happen to enjoy it quite much.  As do you, based on what you say after that dumb questions.  But there are lots of people in the black community who like it too.  Something that they have no problem joking about.  Watch Chappelle Show or The Boondocks sometime.  You might learn something.

Why do we make it so we only have pumpkin in the fall?

At least we start off with some mildly-amusing stereotypes about white people.  I can honestly dig this.  It’s still dumb, but it’s fun.  To answer your question – because it’s a fall thing.  It’s a harvest thing.  Blame Mother Nature for that.

Why can’t most white people dance?  Like, is it genetic or something?  Do we have stiff knees?

Fuck if I know.  The only white person I think of when it comes to dancing is a former buddy of mine from college who is a giant teddy bear and used being able to dance to assist in his absolute drowning in pussy.  Not even kidding, this guy who has all the qualities that should get a dude friendzoned into oblivion is able to avoid it and get into all the pants he wants.  It’s weird.

Why do you get so annoyed when other people don’t speak English?

I don’t.  Though, if I am trying to do business with someone and English isn’t their first language, that can be difficult.  However, I have had tons of jobs in customer service, so I realize that sometimes you have to be very patient with people.  I’m better at that than most.  Got this racist uncle who is among those whose better angels do not appear.

Why do we get so excited to brag on Instagram that we went to this really cool authentic cultural festival even though we went with all of our white friends?

Groj forbid that white people should want to go and be at an event where we can learn about other cultures.  How awful!  Because if we go and learn something about another group of people, that could only help us grow as individuals (situation).  Can’t have that.

Why do white people spray-tan until they turn orange?

I have no idea…

Why can’t you be comfortable in your own body?

The thing is, this criticism can be applied to any group.  This isn’t a race thing.  It’s an individual (situation) thing.  People get self-conscious.  People want to change how they look.  It’s the way people do.  What’s the problem with that?

Why do you think because you’ve seen five seasons of The Wire, you’re a cultural expert?

I don’t think that at all.  Why do you think because you have these interactions that you never really have with white people and BuzzFeed tells you are true, that this is endemic within all white people?

Why do you believe everything you see on TV when it comes to other races?

I don’t.  Assume, much?

Why do we get so upset when a show becomes “diverse” even though “diverse” usually means just two or three people of color?

I could give two shits about how many “people of color” (this term needs to go.  It’s an “of” and an “ed” away from “colored people”) there are in a show.  So long as it’s good, I couldn’t possibly care less what the ethnicities of characters are.

Why do you assume that movies with white stars are more relatable than movies with people of color?

The films tied at the top spot on my top 20 favorite films list are Japanese films.  There’s that.  I want good characters.  If a character is good, their ethnicity literally means nothing to me.  My favorite anti-hero is Omar Little.  Here’s one for you – why do you think that the Asian markets that Hollywood wants to appeal to want to see white people in action movies more than “people of color?” (how is this term not seen as racist?)

Why is Viola Davis the first black woman to win an Emmy for Best Actress?

Man, I’m the wrong guy to ask.  I don’t even pay attention to that aware show nonsense.  I see it the way Ice Cube does – it’s just a statue.  You don’t do movies for that.  You do it for love of the craft.

Why aren’t we complaining that the Oscars and other award shows are all white?

Here’s a link to a video where someone debunks this point pretty handily.  Watch it.

Why don’t we know the difference between appropriation and appreciation?

Because the moment you hipster losers see anyone doing anything even vaguely able to be construed as the former, you will get all over that?  Do you know the difference?

Why can’t we figure out how to make our own pop culture?  Our own slang?  Our own cool clothes, instead of stealing other people’s cool clothes?

Citation on that last one, please.  I guess you have never seen Abercrombie and Fitch.  Or any of those overpriced brand-name labels.  But the way I see it, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  it’s the reason that I have no problem seeing cute little Asian girls fronting death metal bands.  You also have this weird idea about white people and our “own pop culture.”  Did you know that there are cultures of white people that aren’t American?  There’s British, German, French, Swedish, Russian.  All of those different groups have different cultural identities.  I had a friend who went around Europe recently, and she said that the culture shock was pretty significant because of how different things are.  Like how tipping is viewed as an insult or the nature of toilets there.  Fatty Americans aren’t made for Europe.

Why are white people obsessed with Wes Anderson?

So far as I know, his movies have never had mainstream appeal.  I’m rather interested in them because I like his movies..  He makes quality stuff and it’s nice to see comedy movies be made that aren’t the typical American shit like the stuff that Paul Feig makes is.  No disrespect, Edgar Wright.  You’re amazing.

Why would you ever say “thug life?”

I don’t.  But meme culture isn’t just a white person thing, dumb-dumb.  Racist, much?

What do you have against seasoning and spicyness?

Nothing.  Not a huge fan of hot, but delicious spice can be fun.  Your assumptions are amusing.

Why are casseroles our thing?

They are?  Since when?

Why do you try and avoid confrontation at all costs?

I don’t go looking for it, but I honestly prefer when people who have an issue with me bring it to my attention.  I’m pretty good at finding a resolution with those that I like.  White people in general tend to be more passive.  No idea why.  I’m sure there’s a science-y answer to it.

Why is it crazy that I’m white and I have a big butt?

There’s some hyperbole.  It’s not crazy, but it is abnormal.  White people tend not to.

Why is it such a big deal when somebody doesn’t want to hike?

Where did this question come from?

Why do you keep talking about reverse racism?

I don’t.  You do.  I see it as not a real thing.  It’s just racism.  SJWs are the ones who coined this term.

Why are you too afraid to speak up when somebody says something racist?

I’m assuming that you only mean that in connection to white people.  I speak up all the time when I see racist things, like some of the rhetoric from the more dead-cops inclined members of Black Lives Matter.  Or the rhetoric of the likes of Uhuru.  But I guess that doesn’t count, because they aren’t white.  It’s only bad when white people do it.  Racist, much?

Why do we think that having one friend of color (I can’t be the only person who sees how bad this term is!) means that nothing we say can be racist?

Anyone who makes that argument is dumb.  I argue that I’m not a racist because I don’t look down on people because of their race.  Well, I hate all people, but not because of race.  I just hate humanity.  It’s called misanthropy.

Why does being half-white only make my commentary on white culture a half-truth?

Um…what?  I…I don’t get it.  Who says this?  Who has ever said this?  At any point in time?

Why do you believe that Black Lives Matter means that your life doesn’t matter?

When you look at some of the rhetoric that its members spew, like the lady who said that it would just tickle her pink if the baby of the white couple died, it becomes pretty clear that there are plenty of people associated with that movement who are just using it a vehicle to promote their bigoted ideas.

Why do you get offended when you see a table full of black people, but not a lunchroom full of white people?

This question is so unrealistic to anything I have ever thought that I honestly have no response.

Why do you ask to have a “white people club?”

I don’t.  When has this ever happened?  Citatiion, please.

Why do you see the success of people of color as a threat to you?

I don’t.  Worked with this cute little half-black, half-asian girl.  She’s gone on to be very successful after college.  Happy for her.  She was a nice sort.  Made working at the job much better.

You know that a two-minute video about whiteness isn’t reverse racism, right?

True.  There’s no such thing.  There’s just racism.  Though you all have some pretty racist ideas about white people.  Just putting that out there.

Why are we upset about immigrant, even though we are immigrants?

Who is this we that you’re talking to?  I don’t give two shits.

Well, that was some fun low-hanging fruit.  This page is enjoyable.  Been busy posting today.

Until next time, a quote,

“We don’t do movies for the industry. We do movies for the fans, for the people.  And, you know, if the industry gives you a trophy or not, pats you on the back or not, it’s nice and all, but it’s not something you should dwell on.” – Ice Cube

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Answer 26 Questions Asian People (of BuzzFeed) Have for White People

I recently learned that there is the perception that us atheists are racist, because of responses that white people have done to videos like this one on BuzzFeed’s YouTube page.  I think that’s really stupid, but I honestly don’t care what people think about my views on things.  Those who want to call my racist can go through my posts and can realize how dumb that argument is.  BuzzFeed asks white people the most strawman questions ever.  If I am racist for giving these questions the answer they deserve, so be it.  Here’s a link to the video, now let’s do this!

Why do you think every Asian person is Chinese?

I don’t.  Do you think every white person is American?

Why do you think a show is “diverse” just because there are one or two black people in it?

You know what I consider diverse – a work that has a lot of characters with different character traits, each being flushed out and interesting.  I honestly couldn’t care less what the race or gender of the character is, so long as they are an interesting character.  Go to the top of this page and you’ll see a tab called Character Analysis: Omar Little.  Click on it and you’ll see that one of my favorite character is a gay black man.  Thanks for wasting no time making assumptions about how I think.

Why are the awkward nerd characters the only roles for Asians in film?

There are plenty of films that don’t have the Asian character as just the awkward nerd.  I just got done watching Babel, which told the story of a Japanese girl discovering her sexuality.  That film and that plot in the film was great.  Or there was that badass chick in Pacific Rim.  While it was clear that she was struggling with English, because it obviously isn’t her first language, I thought she was great.  I could list off how many amazing Japanese and Korean films I know, but I figure you’re talking about American movies, so I’ll stick with that.  Do I think that more Asian people should be granola people?  Sure.  I got no problem with that.  Have an Asian character be the bumbling doofus who puts on a shirt and goes to work each day.

I can’t help but think, though, that if the stereotype about your culture is that you’re really smart, why are you complaining?  There are a lot worse stereotypes you could have.  Like how us white guys are racist, hate women, hate gay people, and hate trans people.  Right, Milo?

Why are all of you talking about our penises?

I can’t honestly think of a time when I have ever talked about an Asian person’s penis.  Ever.  Not once.  Even for Strawman White Guy that’s weird.

Why do you think Asians can’t be the stars of movies?

Do you REALLY want me to list all the fantastic Japanese and Korean films that I love.  Just got done watching The Host the other night.  That movie is one of the funniest horror comedies ever made.  But if you’re talking about American movies, believe it or not, but the answer is partly because other Asian people aren’t keen on it.  Do you know what sells in action movies – white people.  That’s based on markets in places like China and Korea.  They like seeing white people in action movies.  While you blame us for this, you might want to actually look into how your own ethnic group likes whitey.

Why do you think watching Korean dramas and K-Pop makes you an expert on Korean culture?

I don’t.  In fact, because I had a friend who lived in Japan for a year, I found out just how different that part of the world is.  She’s been to Korea and China, and hearing about the culture shock was quite interesting.  I remember reading a book about a young man who escaped from North Korean into South, and how he was culture shocked too.  It was a good read.  I acknowledge what my limited perspective is.  Do you?

Like, does me watching Girls make me an expert on white culture?

What’s Girls?

Why do you cast white people to play roles that are meant to be for Asian people?

I assume you’re talking about Scarlett Johansson in the adaptation of Ghost in the Shell.  I’ll admit, I find this one weird.  But not for the reasons you’d think.  It just seems weird to me for someone who is white as apple pie to be cast as a Japanese person with a Japanese name.  Change the name and I got no beef with it.  Oh, right, you bring up Emma Stone in that Aloha movie.  Given how panned that movie was for its bad writing and bad acting, do you really want to be holding a grudge about that?

Why do you think saying “namaste” is an appropriate way to greet me?

I wouldn’t.  Unless we know each other, I probably wouldn’t even care if I saw you.  I don’t just go around greeting people.  Who are these people in your day-to-day who do?

Why do you think saying “Ni Hao” is a good thing to say to us?

I don’t.  Don’t care about you.  In the slightest.

Why do you think I eat dogs?!

Not gonna lie, I busted out laughing so hard when this guy just shouted that out.  That was funny.  I don’t, dude.  If I am saying it, it’s a joke.  Just like how I have heard plenty of Asian people at college assume that I like Starbucks and angel food cake.  But I’m not just gonna come up to some random Asian person and be like, “I see you have a dog.  Do you plan to eat it?”  That would be rude.

Why do you think Hindi and Hindu are the same thing?

I don’t.  I know that one is a religion, and another is a language.

Why are you so surprised that I can speak English well?

I’m not.  I don’t know you, so I don’t give two fucks about you.  Unless you are someone I know, and know that English is not your first language, I won’t be surprised how well you speak it.

Why do you ask me “where are you really from?”

I don’t.  Not the best wording for it, but I get where people who ask that are coming from.  They are asking where your family traces back to.  That’s not an offensive thing to ask.  They might genuinely be interested.  If you got off your high horse (can you see Texas from there?) for a while, maybe you can talk to people and get to know them better.  And they can know you.  Might make a friend.  I know, shocker.

Why do you think it’s okay to call me an “immigrant” or a “foreigner?”

So many of these questions are just assumptions about how I am.  It’s so annoying.  I don’t!

Why do you think that Indians aren’t Asians?

I do, but I think the reason people can have trouble with that is due to the fact that you all come into contact and regularly have issues with the Middle East.  Think of it like how people tend to think that Russia is part of Europe, even though it is also part of Asia.  Surprised that you don’t have any Russians in this little bullshit question thing.  Oh, right, they’re white.  White people are Satan to BuzzFeed.

Why do you say, “it’s basically the same things,” when I say that I’m from Sri Lanka, not India?

Because Americans can’t read a map.  You’re part of this country, so you should know – Americans are stupid.  While Asian Americans might have a stereotype of being smart, you’re part of this demographic that tests so poorly.  Enjoy being a member of the dumbest First World country.

Why does a “person of color” automatically mean black to you?

Here’s the thing – I don’t like this term “people of color.”  Why?  Because all you have to do is take the word “of” away and add and “ed” and you have colored people.  I hate that people think there’s some meaningful distinction.  And when you ask why people make that assumption, it’s because back when that was a phrase used, it typically described black people.  Thank dumb history meeting PC culture and you all not getting how adding a word doesn’t change a cultural distinction.  Idiot.

Why do you think all brown people are Indian?

Uh…do you not follow typical ‘Murica vernacular?  Most of the time, when people use the term “brown people,” it is in reference to Arabs.  Just putting that out there.  You might want to rethink this question.

Why do you think you deserve a high-five for pronouncing my name correctly.

I don’t care how you’re name is spelled.  I don’t know you, and since you seem like a judgemental bitch, I don’t want to.  There was a Russian girl I went to school with back in the day.  Her name was insanely long and the days I pronounced it right, yeah, I felt pretty good.  Complicated names take work.  How about you cut people some slack?

Why do you think increasing the diversity of the workplace decreases the quality of work?

I don’t.  Far from it.  If someone is if a different ethnic group, but they are more than qualified for the job, they are likely to add to it.  I hope they do.  That means that it adds to the company.

Why do you think it’s okay to call me “exotic?”

I don’t.  I don’t call you shit.  I don’t like you.  Since you’ve shown yourself to be judgmental and not open to feedback, I figure that I never will like you.

Why do you think I can’t see properly?

What is this stereotype?  Does everyone think Asians are near-sighted now?  What’s the source for this?

Why is it weird when all Asians hang out, but fine when all white people hang out?

You think I care who you hang out with.  That’s cute.  I live in the Great White North, dude.  There’s a huge Asian community up here.  Guess what – a lot of that community tends to stick with its own.  Just like the Natives and the black community.  I figure that goes back to the tribal mindset of our species.  Gotta stick with the tribe.

So tell me – what does a sunburn feel like?

It sucks.  A lot.

Why do you keep trying to justify “yellow fever?”

What are you talking about?  The illness…?  Oh, they explain that it’s a propensity for people to want to have sex with people of Asian decent.  I don’t call it a fever.  Didn’t realize that’s a thing.  I looked that up, and I saw nothing from Urban Dictionary.  All the top posts were about the disease.  Part of me wonders how much of a thing this is.

Why are we being stereotyped as cheap or stingy?

You’re mixing up Asian stereotypes with Jewish ones.

Why do you think all Asian people are smart?

Because, statistically, the Asian community does better in academics in this country than white people.  Why does this stereotype bother you?  Don’t you want people to think you’re smart?  I’ve never heard someone be like, “Yeah, I’m a dumb fuck and proud of it!”  Well, unless you’re like an uncle of mine and watch Fox News religiously.  Is that really the crowd you want to be comparable with?

Well, that was dumb.  But fun.  I really should sub to BuzzFeed Yellow, so I can get these videos when they come out . Hey, all of you in my audience – you should send new Questions videos on that channel to my Twitter page.  Link in the About section.

Until next time, a quote,

“Well, you know what they say about assume.”  – Gregory House, House, M.D.

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Answer 20 Questions Black People (Not of BuzzFeed) Have for White People

I did a post some time ago answering the black people of BuzzFeed’s questions for Strawman Whitey.  No, it seems that another group has come up and decided that they are going to ask the REAL questions that BuzzFeed should have asked.  Oh, I’m sure this is going to be all kinds of interesting.  Well, in keeping with tradition, I decided that I’m going to answer those questions.  Here’s a link to the video that these came from, now let’s get going.

Be honest – you hate black people.  Don’t you?

Assertion without even the vaguest idea of what evidence is.  No, bitch.  But I have a problem with you for asserting that I hate black people for reasons unknown.  Yeah, you I have a definite problem with.

White people – do you know what gentrification is doing to black neighborhoods?

The buying up of shitty homes and renovating them?  I don’t know.  Making them look better?  I figure this goes with that whole “broken windows theory.”  The idea being if they make the neighborhoods look nice, then they won’t be so crime-ridden.  The success of that theory has been somewhat lacking for some times.  So, I’m guessing that your belief is that gentrification is much the same.

Do you have ANY idea?

Just answered that.

Why is being a former drug dealer a bad thing?

It isn’t.  Not to me, anyway.  I think that we need to end the drug war and legalize all narcotics.  The whole shebang.  We can’t end it by keeping things illegal, so we might as well just legalize and tax it.  Then we can take drugs off the street and make it a multi-billion dollar market in this country.  Here’s a great video that explains why that’s going to happen.  Eventually.

So there’s that.  As for people who are former drug dealers, I got no beef with them.  Methinks you have assumptions about how us honkies think.

But being a former slave owner – totally okay, white America?

Who are you talking about?  I’ve never owned a slave.  Neither have my parents.  Or my grandparents.  Or may great grand-parents.  Slavery ended over 150 years ago.  Time to move on.  I won’t be shamed because fore-fathers who no one in three generations have living memory of did some stuff that was uncool.

Do you honestly think the structure of America is NOT based on racism?

Yeah.  The problem is that there are people who are racist out there.  I’m sure you’re going to bring up cops.  Yeah, there are plenty of racist cops.  But here’s the thing – look what it takes to be a police officer in this country.  It’s pretty much – show up, be given a gun, a badge, and virtually no oversight.  What kind of person do you think is going to want that kind of job?  Thugs.  For the most part.  There are cops who just want to help people.  That’s something that gets lost in all these Black Lives Matter yelling contests.  But it can’t be denied that the majority of people this job appeals to are those who want to have the power to exert over others.  It’s like the military, in that regard.  You have those who want to help, and those who want to hurt.

You all want equality of outcome.  I want equality of opportunity.  While there are some holdouts in places, I’d say that that objective has been achieved.  It’s up to you to decide what you do with that.  You could work to get ahead, or you could go on YouTube and bitch about how hard you, a clearly upper-middle class person, have it.

Do you really think you discovered America?

Nope.  Neither did you.  Neither did anyone in our generation.  The people who discovered America are so far removed from us now that this question is beyond retarded.

Do you really think it’s yours?

It’s land.  The American government owns this land.  I pay taxes to that government.  So yeah, in part, I do think that I have some ownership of it.  The hospital that I walk through every day, tax dollars help pay for that.  The university I went to, my tax dollars help make that possible.  The land that my grandparents generation homesteaded on, they worked hard to make that land their own.  So yeah, I do think that this is partly mine.

When I’m upset, I’m an angry black man, Or woman! (they interjected)  When you’re upset, you’re just upset.  Aren’t you an angry white man?

Nope.  I’m just an angry asshole.  And you’re an angry idiot.  See, I’m going to remove your race from the equation and just make it about how dumb you are.  As a person.  I’m nice like that.

Why isn’t racism illegal?

Because that’s thought policing.  We can’t tell people how to think.  That’s fascism.  People are allowed to think the way they want, and you are free to disagree with them.  That’s how an open and fair society works.  Sometimes that means that the assholes get to have mean opinions.  But I’d rather have that in society than lock-step.  Those differing opinions are important.  It means that we can talk and have a discourse.  Well, at least I wish I could.  The day an SJW comes to me and wants to have a civil discourse is the day that Hell freezes over.

Why is gaining the black vote so important, but mass incarceration of black people isn’t?

Actually, I’ve argued many times against this country’s draconian prison sentencing.  We send people to prison for nothing.  One of the reasons that I want to end the drug war is so we can help empty this country’s prisons.  Then we can have prisons that could actually potentially help rehabilitate people who can be, instead of becoming breeding grounds for new crime.  But even without ending the drug war, this idea that we send people to prison for non-violent offenses is ridiculous.  That needs to change.  Stop trying to assume that you know how I think.

Why are all of ya’ll afraid of black people?

I’m not.  I’m just as apathetic about black people as I am about most anyone else.

What are you going to do about systematic racism?

Nothing.  It’s a non-issue that has been blown out of proportion by race-baiters like Black Lives Matter.

Why must you own ALL the media outlets?

Assume, much?  I don’t own shit!  I own this blog.  Well, at least I am allowed to use it through WordPress.  Don’t know who owns WordPress.  If you want media outlets, then get to work building them.  Good luck.  It’s a tough market out there, these days.  I wish you luck.

Why does EVERY race qualify for reparations except black people?

I don’t want to give reparations to anyone.  For real, what’s done is done.  Move on.  I’m so tired of you all pretending like you, your parents, or your grandparents know the first thing about slavery, when you live in the First World.  You have the kind of life that kings of old would kill for. Stop your bitching.

A long time ago, really not that long ago, you all prevented black people from learning how to read and write.  But, why did you let them keep a bible?

Because religion has been a HUGE part of this country’s heritage since its inception.  Part of me thinks that Stephen Fry has a point when he says that we need to just get rid of the separation of church and state.  It’s so clearly entangled anyway, so why not just own that?  Then we can start taxing the churches.  We already subsidize them with tax dollars.  We might as well make it official.

White people, historically, you’ve never liked black people.

Assume much, bitch?

But why do you take black people’s money?

If I had a business that I ran, I’d take whoever’s money.  I don’t care what your race is.  If I run a business, I want the most money.  Whoever wants my products, I’ll take what I can get from them.

What does colonization mean to you?

Nothing.

You do know crack and cocaine are drugs, right?

Can you find out why Bill Clinton thinks that one should carry a harsher sentence than the other?

Voting polls have shown that black people support Shillary far more than they did Bernie.  You all go ask.

When are you going to arrest Governor Snyder?

No idea.  Don’t have the authority.

So, when we talk about slavery, why are you uncomfortable?

I’m not.  I’m annoyed.  Just like when people talk about 9/11.  It’s over and done.  Seriously, people need to get over it already.

Why do you want to adopt the “fun part” of black culture, but not that true lifestyle of black Americans?

You think that I want to be anything like you smug assholes?  That’s cute.

I gotta know – why do you wear shorts in the wintertime?

It’s comfortable.  Though, I only wear them around my house.  So there’s that.

Well, that was nice and retarded.  Hopefully you all could learn something from that engagement.  Just waiting for the person to come into the Comments and be like, “yeah, that’s you’re an asshole and a racist!”  Whatever makes you feel better, snowflake.

Until next time, a quote,

“Self-pity is easily the most destructive of non-pharmaceutical narcotics.  It is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.”  – John W. Gardner

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Answer 9 Questions Gay People (of BuzzFeed) Have for Straight People

When I first did the post answer the shit-ton of questions that women of BuzzFeed have for men, I realized just how many of these damn videos BuzzFeed Yellow (the most ironic thing I have ever seen) has with people who have strawman ideas about men, white people, and now straight people asking stupid questions.  It seems that they want to give the LG part of the LGBT community some shots at their strawmen/women.  Let’s get down to this.  Here’s a link to the original video, now let’s answer us some questions.

Why is my sexuality a “lifestyle?”

It isn’t.  You can blame shows like Will and Grace or Queer Eye for the Straight Guy for this stereotype.  The big irony is that it is Hollywood, a long-time ally to you, that gave you this impression.  Don’t blame the people who you are clearly trying to show as bad for this problem.

Why do you call it a lifestyle?

I don’t.  My uncle Scott was gay, and you would have never known it.  He was a very typical guy.  He shot guns, hunted and did woodland stuff out in the homestead where he grew up.  Neither is my…second cousin (I have no idea how this works.  She’s the cousin of my mother.  Someone tell me in the Comments if you know how this familial connection plays out) Deb.  She’s a booze-drinking, trash-talking, rowdy lady.  So yeah, I don’t call being gay a lifestyle.  Who are these people that you’re talking to?

Why is it that when you find out I’m gay, you think I want you?

Clearly you have never met me.  I believe that no one wants me, or ever will.  My self-loathing has twisted my perception of myself to believe that I am the most hideous fuck there is.  But even back when I thought less shitty about myself, I don’t just assume that someone wants me.  Who does that?  These strawmen straight people that you make are just so fucking bizarre.

Why are you so worried about how I’m going to have kids?

What makes you think I give a fuck?  Presume, much?

Why does it matter if I’m going to have kids or not?

It doesn’t.  I don’t fucking care.  Do what you want.  Have kids, don’t have kids.  Whatever you want to do.  I don’t care if straight people add to the overpopulation problem.  What makes you think I give two fucks about you?  Especially if I don’t know you?

Why do you feel the need to ask “who’s the man” and “who’s the woman in the relationship?”

I personally don’t.  Partially because I couldn’t possibly care less about you.  But for those who do wonder, it’s tied in to the fact that relationships typically have a more dominant person and a more submissive one.  It’s human nature.  Oh, sure, everyone says that all things in a relationship need to be divided up equally.  But that’s bullshit.  Let me give you a personal example (anecdotal evidence!) – when my ex and I were living together, it was understood that when we were home together to have dinner, I did the cooking.  My ex, lots of great qualities.  But she can’t make food to save her life.  We joked that if anyone was going to make a sandwich after sex, it would be me.  We understood the nature of that dynamic.  Every relationship has the person who is more-or-less in charge.  Look at it another way.  When someone asks you, “who’s on top?” that’s another version of the same question.  I’m sure that people don’t word it like that.  But it’s not unreasonable to wonder who is the one who takes charge in the relationship.  It’s normal.

Why do you get offended if people ask if you’re gay?

I don’t.  Part of self-loathing is that I hate pretty much everyone else just as much.  So if someone decides to assume I’m gay (I’m bi, by the way.  So this is another reason I don’t care), it doesn’t mean anything to me.  It’s just someone asking a dumb question.  People who are bothered by the question might be having some sexual identity problems.  I would think that your community would be a little bit sensitive and empathetic about that.  Just sayin’.

Why would you be offended that someone thinks you’re gay?

Already answered this.

How does it feel to be accurately represented in…everything?

Oh, every lonely, introverted character suffering from depression that is outright crippling is a good representation of me?  Wow, thanks!  I’m so glad that I have your presumptive ass to tell me that.  Groj knows, I never would have been able to figure out that that’s…bullshit.  There are plenty of characters that I don’t identify with.  And plenty I do.  Are you saying that not one of the gay characters in anything doesn’t represent your community well?  You’re saying this now?  I mean, sure, the bulk of gay characters in stuff are effeminate men and crazy-woman-power women.  But there are all kinds of different characters.  I refuse to believe that with all the range of characters of all kinds in all forms of media, there isn’t at least one who you all identify with.  But no, you’re going to get butthurt about the few characters that you see in stuff that are not to your liking.  It is BuzzFeed, after all.  The day they acknowledge nuance is a cold day in Hell.

Why is your definition of diversity a gay white man?

One of my favorite characters of all time is a gay black man who robs from drug dealers.  Omar Little, from The Wire.  You were saying?

Why is it that you have such a large dating pool, but such a large divorce rate?

Uh, hey bitch, how about – fuck you!  Fuck your smug face.  Fuck your arrogant-ass attitude believing that you have it so fucking hard.  In a world where everyone needs sunshine blown up their ass all the time, where do you think that an introvert who isn’t the great looking, with crippling depression, has such a large dating pool?  How about you take that backwards ball cap you’re wearing and shove it up what I assume to be your VERY tight ass.  Bitch.

Oh, and as for the divorce thing, you do know that divorce rates are down, right?  That’s one of the big misconceptions that people have.  The truth is that divorce rates have been gradually diminishing over the last decade or so.  The reason is because more and more people are choosing to get married later, if at all.  The nature of relationships is not what it once was.  But I can’t tell you that.  Again, nuance.

Why do you have to call it a gay wedding?

I don’t.  I call it signing a legal contract that really means nothing about your relationship and people feel the need to do out of some misguided sense of wanting to make it “official.”  Whatever the fuck that means.

Is it just so you can charge us more?

Citation, please.

If two black people were getting married, would you call it a black wedding?

Depends.  Is it in some stereotypical black church with the choir clapping and loud preacher and everyone is jumping around and being happy?  If so, maybe.

Why do you try and set us up with the very next gay person you see?

Who are these people who do this?  This strawman is just odd.  I admit that I have told a lady-friend who is gay about another lady-friend I have.  But that was just because both of them had gotten out of bad relationships and I thought it would be a good idea.  Never went anywhere.  No worries.  I just put that out there and let the chips fall where they may.

And apparently that’s it.  That was today’s batch of BuzzFeed butthurt.  Anyone who has more of these, send them my way on my Facebook or Twitter (links can be found in my About page).

Until next time, a quote,

“Blind assumption is easiest way to disguise the truth.”  – P.D. Griffith

Peace out,

Maverick