About Lucien

I am a writer. I am a dreamer. Humanity may be its own worst enemy, but I believe in something better. Maybe I am naive. Maybe I am delusional. Maybe Carlin was right, and we are just playing out the string. But I believe that something greater is still within our grasp. And it is for that that I am working to make this world a better place, even if all I will ever be able to do is spit in the wind.

SIONR: The Reason Final Fantasy versus XIII Never Got Made

While everyone is mad at Blizzard (and rightly so) for basically being a giant bitch for the Chinese government, along with the NBA, I thought it might be worth bringing up how something that had the potential to be amazing got totally screwed because yet-another AAA game developer wanted to appease the Chinese, and in the process ruined what could have been the greatest Final Fantasy game ever.

I remember when the first trailer for Final Fantasy versus XIII came out.  It took my breath away.  The world looked so much like the modern world, and you have a very broody hero facing down an entire army.  They open fire on him, when you see glass-like swords deflecting them.  That was awesome!  For a LONG time, there was nothing.  Then in 2011 they released another trailer!  This one looked even better.  Again, so much like the modern world as you see the Prince and his father driving in a car, with the father ragging on him for being so glum.  In the distance we see airships floating there!  Then we see things get real with gameplay.  It looked sick!  You have this city where things are going to shit, with you having to escape with your friends.

The plot of this game had the makings of something unlike anything we’d seen before.  A young prince, cursed with a deep bond with death.  A young woman, with a connection to a goddess of life.  Both star-crossed, but on opposite sides of a conflict.  You have to fight your way out of the capital, with the goal being to find a way to take back your home.  Some appearances that this may be a story taking some cues from Hamlet, and the makings of a masterpiece were all right there.  Even when the game changed names and became Final Fantasy XV, it looked like there was still potential.

Then the game released, and we realized that it was mediocre beyond all reason.  Clearly rushed out the door just so they could have it be done.  There had been an amazing idea there.  So what happened?!  For years, this question dogged me, until recently I figured out that someone had answered it.  It was discovered that the reason for the end product of all the years of work on this title being for nothing is because of China.  Why am I not surprised?

See, there’s a thing about China – they have a TON of rules in order for a game to be marketed there.  It’s the reason that Disney will never, EVER have openly gay characters in their movies.  The rule on top of all the little nit-picky ones is – no ghosts, no gays.  Either one and your work is dead on arrival.  The reason this ties into Final Fantasy versus XIII is because the Prince and his family have a connection to a god of death.  Noctis can see the light of expiring souls.  But that won’t fly in China.  And Square Enix wanted in on that sweet China cheddar.  The way that so many other companies have been.

Which is why we got a final product that was rushed to market and felt half-baked.  Which is a real fucking shame, if you ask me.  Because I can only imagine what the original product would have been if it had actually been allowed to go to completion.  Star-crossed lovers, forced to do battle because of their affiliation.  A war over a power source to keep and empire alive.  A prince working to retake his home after it’s captured.  What that could have turned into is anyone’s guess.  But no.  I’m really starting to think that Square Enix has lost the spark of what made it great.  Seems like the only stuff they’re putting out is remakes of classics, because they don’t have any original ideas.  And since the remake of Final Fantasy VII is still gonna be released episodically (no joke, they said that’s still a thing), it leaves you to wonder if the spark will ever come back.

AAA gaming is really disheartening to me lately.  Sony is the only one who is taking risks with huge ideas that may or may not always play out.  Well, them and CD Projekt Red.  I miss companies with big ideas and a foolhardy sense of passion to just throw whatever against the wall and see what sticks.

Cool game concepts going to die, microtransactions everywhere, games becoming gambling.  It’s depressing to see the industry.  But a guy can hope.  Every now and again there are real diamonds released.  Sometimes…

Until next time, a quote,

“Always, and never.” – Dwight, Sin City

Peace out,


Bernie or Bust 2020

Since I’ve started writing about politics again, I figured I’d keep this going.  Not a whole lot to talk about.  At least for right now.  As the primaries progress, this could get a lot more interesting.  Thus far, I think I’ve gotten a pretty good lay of the landscape and where things are going.  But yeah, just like 2016, it’s Bernie or Bust for me.  Last go-around, the DNC had to pull out every single stop they could, and Bernie still was a stone’s-throw away from dethroning the person the entire Democratic establishment thought was heir apparent to the Presidency.  This election cycle is looking much more interesting.

Mainstream media has been doing everything they possibly can to say that Biden is the choice candidate for this country.  But the polls are not reflecting this.  While he does poll at the front nationally (for reasons that make no fucking sense to me), individual states have his numbers going off a cliff.  This race looks to be between Bernie and Warren.  All the Yang Gang crowd can hope to their hearts content, but he isn’t going to win.  Neither is Tulsi, but I have thoughts about what she should do after she loses that I think she has picked up on.

Warren isn’t somebody I can support.  She kissed Shillary’s ring, and now she’s trying to ride the line of populist candidate and establishment darling.  It isn’t doing it for me.  Not to mention, she won’t beat Trump.  I can already hear his refutation of her.  It will be nonstop “Pocahontas!”, ad nauseum.  That stupid fight with Trump is going to haunt her political career for years to come.  It was immature, stupid, and gave him all the ammunition he needs to make nobody take her seriously.

Meanwhile, Biden is just awful.  I kinda feel bad for the guy.  It’s pretty clear his mental faculties are failing him pretty quickly, because the poor fuck can’t string together a coherent sentence.  There’s a reason that his campaign is limiting his public exposure as much as they are, because this poor dude just does gaffe after gaffe every time he speaks.  During debates it’s just awful.  Really does make me wonder why he’s polling so well nationally.  Does nobody pay attention to this stuff, or is all just a bunch of people like my workplace chum who are loyal to the party and he’s the party’s darling right now.  Though there are signs that they are trying to sell people on Warren because Biden looks worse and worse and it’s becoming abundantly clear that he won’t beat Trump.

A lot of people are wondering if Shillary is still gonna throw her name in.  Recently her website has been updated and it is using talking points about her political future that is raising a LOT of eyebrows.  Not in a good way, for sure.  Perhaps it’s kinda smart of her to just avoid the limelight for so long, trying the Eleventh Hour upset approach.  But the longer this goes on that she doesn’t, the worse it is for her.  Plus, the legacy of her rigging the primary against Sanders, and the two of them being up against each other again, that might rally people to Bernie more.

Some people are saying that the heart attack was a black mark against him.  The media sure did have a field day with it.  Though it’s clear that they were hoping he had died, given how they have tired to tar and feather him in every way they can.  There was a fantastic new campaign ad where they just played their negative content while you watch Bernie heading to the stage.  It’s a great ad.  His usage of negative media commentary about him as publicity is smart.  The truth is that the heart attack did a LOT to galvanize people who support him.  His numbers have been growing ever since, and the number of donations was a flood.  Granted, if he has more health problems, that will definitely work against him.

But yeah, it’s Bernie or Bust for me in 2020.  There’s no apparent fight, outside of Warren.  Their battle is going to be the one to watch.  I said earlier that I would talk about what Tulsi should.  I think she’s already seen the path ahead.  She’s started cozying up to Bernie, and that’s REALLY smart.  She’s playing the long game.  See, when he clinches it, the smart choice would be to make her his running mate.  That would galvanize lots of support from tons of different people.  What’s more, he could play queenmaker with her and help her for her run for office.  Finally break that glass ceiling Shillary was hoping to break, except with a candidate who isn’t a corporate drone.

This primary is going to be interesting to watch.  Seeing how the DNC is gonna try and fight against the populist candidate is fun to see.  But they should be warned – if they play games and find a way to put their person in after Bernie starts winning states, then I’m gonna say this right off the bat – I won’t vote in the general election.  Maybe I’ll campaign again for Giant Asteroid.  It has a platform I can support – the utter annihilation of the human race.

We’ll see what happens going into 2020.

Until next time, a quote,

“The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” – H.L. Mencken

Peace out,


Lucien’s Review: Barber of Seville (Anchorage Opera)

There are nights where I wonder why do a review for an event where the shows are almost over, for a very limited audience of people, few of whom probably will have access to it.  But as I left the performance tonight, feeling thoroughly entertained, I heard two old-timers talking to each other. One remarked that the show was predictable and the plot had no surprises.  When I heard that, I thought to myself – what exactly were you expecting?  You watch opera for the same reason you do Shakespeare – to get wrapped up in the performance and emotion.  To get carried away by performers bringing characters to life on that stage.  And never has what Hamlet said to the actors come more to mind than tonight, with one HELL of a show.

Over the last few several years, I’ve been to some great performances by the Anchorage Opera.  Both locally and from outside, they have gotten some incredibly talented people to put on immeasurably good shows, and to my eyes they only get better.  In a couple years I am leaving this state to further my career somewhere with more opportunity and less oppressive dark and snowy winter.  One of the few things about this rather disgusting city that I shall miss is the Anchorage Opera.

My favorite kind of opera is comedic.  There’s only so much I can watch something that is a giant dirge without feeling like I’ve seen it before.  But in comedy, there is so much more engagement that I get.  Tragedy has its place, but when I am watching a live show, it isn’t the kind of thing I want to sit through.  And we’ve hit what is currently the high-water mark as far as these go.

The Barber of Seville tells the story of a Count who is looking to woo the young ward of a doctor named Rosina.  However, the Doctor is keen to keep the young woman for himself.  But with the help of the greedy but immeasurably clever barber named Figaro, he can have young love prevail.  Yes, as the aforementioned guy said, the story isn’t that complicated, but it’s all in the performance.

When I say that the Anchorage Opera has consistently been improving as I’ve watched it, I mean that every part of it has.  They always opt for very simple set design, and consistently it works to their advantage.  Here they had fantastic use of lighting.  Sometimes it set the mood, sometimes it was the time of day.  And there was even a time where it was part of a gag that the scene was doing.

Now we come to the point that everyone wants to hear about – the performances.  I cannot begin to tell you how much every single role in this show was on point.  There wasn’t a wasted note.  Every single character was brought to life excellently by people who clearly were putting their heart and soul into it.  In prior shows I’ve seen and reviewed, there has been a strange habit of someone stealing the show.  There was no such issue tonight.  I can’t think of anyone who fell flat.  The Doctor and Don Bosillio as the villains, Rosina and the Count as the young lovers seeking their happiness.

If I had to say who was the best out of all of them, I gotta give it to Figaro.  The person who was doing this role was in the zone tonight.  Maybe it’s just because this character is written to be one of the key humor points and ways to keep the plot moving forward, but it takes the right kind of person to bring this character to life the way that Alex DeSocio did.  As I am to understand it, he’s no stranger to this role, and it’s not hard to see why.  Every time he was on stage, he was the center of attention.

But don’t let that make you think the rest of the cast was sub-par.  That would be a disservice to every fantastic performance I got to see tonight.  This was a performance like I won’t forget, and it’s a credit to their stage acting that they can make something in Italian put the audience in stitches.  The comedic timing was fantastic.  There were even a couple points where they took a cue from Zucker Brothers movies and had something funny in the background while something serious (or as serious as things get in this production) is happening in the foreground.

Overall, this was a masterpiece of comedic opera.  I haven’t seen anything like it before, and I wonder if I will again.  I do these reviews because Anchorage Opera is filled with some incredibly dedicated people, and I genuinely do hope that they are able to stick around for many years to come.  Hopefully there will continue to be an audience of people who can appreciate it.

Final Verdict
10 out of 10

Peace out,


A Whetstone to Sharpen My Liberalism

I haven’t talked about politics in ages.  Mostly because the discourse is so fucking toxic anymore.  Especially online.  It’s like, if you make fun of Trump (which isn’t hard to do.  His Twitter is comedy gold), then you’re a leftist SJW hater of America.  I’ve completely checked out of the war against SJW culture.  It isn’t what it was when I started talking about it.  Back then, it was the atheist community fighting against a common enemy.  Conservatives and liberals came together against a foe who seemed insurmountable.  Now, it’s almost-exclusively conservatives who are the big names.  The rest of left-leaning people like myself have checked out.  What more is there to say?  Oh look, an SJW said something dumb.  You know, like they’ve been doing for a long-ass time now.

However, it seems that a foil for me to talk about politics with came about from probably the most unlikely place – my job.  There’s a coworker who became pretty chummy with me after he got past my awkward first-meeting phase and got to talking with me.  Turns out, we have a lot in common.  He’s an atheist, like me.  He’s a liberal, like me.  We mesh on a lot of levels.  As I have discovered, though, we don’t mesh on a lot of others.  For starters, dude is trying to get me to like sports.  Yeah, I think Sisyphus had an easier task than him in that regard.  This dude is pretty all-American in a lot of ways.

Another thing that we disagree on politics.  See, I’m pretty far left.  I’m a big Bernie Sanders supporter.  I firmly believe that voting for a candidate who is a corporate tool is a disservice to the cause.  Because I’ve been watching the Democratic Party basically go further to the right on a lot of things, as a desperate way to fight the growing left side of politics who is now upsetting the natural order of how things work in Washington.  My compatriot, however, is die-hard – whatever candidate the party offers, he will support. I find this belief structure to be untenable.  How can someone who seems to be so rational not see how broken it all is?  He like some of the dinosaurs in politics like Chuck Schumer, who needs to fucking go.  In his eyes, voting is a duty and a obligation for a working country.  I see voting as two broken parties with corporate tools telling their audience that they are so radically different, when underneath it all, they really aren’t.

So when the subject came up about the 2020 election, I told him I’m Bernie or Bust.  Last election, it was the same deal, and I saw the party rig the primary against Bernie Sanders.  This is no longer a conspiracy theory.  It’s a fact.  Both the WikiLeaks information and the Donna Brazile tell-all showed that Shillary used every tool in the DNC (that she effectively owns) to rig the primary against a candidate who would actually have won against a faux-populist like Donald Trump.  When the primary was rigged against Bernie, I campaigned for Giant Asteroid.  There’s a candidate with a platform I could support.  The absolute destruction of human race.  I’m down with that.  Aren’t you?  My coworker was just appalled by this.  In his eyes, if you don’t support whoever the party chooses, then you’ve failed this democracy.  That the only way to keep democracy working is to participate in it.

When I argued that participating is meaningless when none of the candidates value my point of view and all of them are owned by corporate money, his response – you gotta sometimes get your hands dirty.  He genuinely believes that true progressive reform is impossible, so there’s no good reason to fight for it.  I’m just sitting here thinking – what the fuck?!  Okay, so instead of standing for actual values and really fighting for them, we should just…not do that?  We should just vote for the party and hope that they do the right thing?  What planet does this dude live on?

Speaking of, I also pointed out that we are out of time as a species to start actually doing something about climate change.  The UN’s report, along with subsequent reports, is fucking nightmare stuff.  We are past the point where half-measures aren’t going to save our species.  In addition to overpopulation (which is the central force killing our species), we also are in a nation that is one of the biggest in greenhouse gas emissions.  And there is an orange monkey in office who thinks that climate change is a conspiracy started by China, and as such should be ignored.  If it wasn’t for the fact that Trump is basically condemning the generations that follow mine to death, that shit would be pretty funny.

You’d think all this disagreement would lead to me having a lot of issues with this guy.  And you know what, it hasn’t.  In fact, I’ve enjoyed getting to sharpen my argumentation skills against a decent opponent.  I have no illusions of changing his mind on anything, but I firmly believe that if your points of view are never challenged, then you won’t actually grow.  You have to hear opposite points of view.  Or in this case points of view that are similar to yours but opposite enough that they contrast and make you have to really think about what you believe.  And make you think of how you can logically defend them.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone I can enjoy arguing against this much.  There was someone, a long time ago.  We used to have great discussions.  But then his way of thinking and mine so divorced to such a radical degree that we didn’t contrast but clashed.  It was so strange to me how arguments that we had debunked together in great conversations were ones he was using against me.  Not gonna lie, it hurt.  How it all fell apart is unfortunate, but I haven’t looked back all that much.  Perhaps the point just came when we weren’t the person we thought the other was anymore.  But so far my new coworker chum is an interesting guy, and I hope to enjoy a good discourse again.

Until next time, a quote,

“If voting made a difference, they wouldn’t let us do it.” – Mark Twain

Peace out,


Lucien’s First Take: Star Wars IX: Rise of Skywalker l Final Trailer

I can’t believe how bad this look.  I’ve been seeing some reactions around, and people who think this is gonna be some tour de force for the trilogy that will bring it back after Rian Johnson shit all over it, and I genuinely don’t get where these reactions are coming from.  Did we watch the same trailer?!  Because all I saw there was just blatant pandering to what fandom is left and a desperate attempt to try and bring some of the die-hards back with desperate nostalgia grabs.  John Williams makes good music!  Did you all hear that?!  And the Emperor is back!  Doesn’t that excite you?  Oh, and old-school star destroyers!  You gotta be excited about that!  Let’s watch this insufferable pile of shit.

Our first shot and I hate it.  Look, the helmet from the Endor mission!  And a lightsaber!  If only it was being used by someone who isn’t a fucking Wheat Thin.  It’s been said by everyone on the Internet, but can we all address the fact that Rey is a fucking Mary Sue?  She is perfect at everything.  You can describe her personality with a fart sound.  Daisy Ridley can’t act.  Although, you know, part of me wonders if this is really on her or if it’s the writing of the character that is just so bland that no one could make this role memorable.  I hear she was in some Shakespeare shit.  Maybe she does better.  I doubt I’ll ever know.

And look, Finn is back!  Because he’s SO much more interesting, right?  You know, J.J. Abrams had a plan for this trilogy.  It makes me wonder what could have been.  But as it stands, Finn is the equivalent of an chocolate graham cracker.  His personality is equally bland, much less interesting.  Rich Evans once hypothesized that he was going to be the Ron Stoppable to Rey’s Kim Possible.  That could have been an interesting take.  And Jar Jar Rose is back!  You know, the most insufferable character from the last film.  I’m so glad to see her.  Not to body shame, but it’s really noticeable that she’s put on a lot of weight.  Genuinely not trying to shame her, it’s just something that caught my eye.  Given her lack of personality from the last film, all I knew about her is that she’s Asian, and chunky.

From there we get some pretty nifty CG shots.  Because if we can’t have an engaging plot, we might as well have beautiful visuals!  Rey does some terrible narration, and then…oh fuck.  Kylo Ren is back.  I hate this guy so much.  He’s so bland and non-threatening.  There’s nothing about him as a villain that even remotely engages me.  In the first film they played it up like he’s playing at being Darth Vader, and how it was kinda sad, because he most assuredly isn’t.  But after the last film and what a little bitch he was, now I just wish they would kill him off and be done with it.  He says that he knows Rey.  Really?  Can you tell the audience about her, because we don’t have anything approaching a personality to lock down on this broad.

Then…oh no.  We have the Emperor narrating.  Oh fuck me.  So, because Rian Johnson is a moron and killed off Snoke, now Abrams is stuck in the position of having to find some kind of villain to actually make this plot engaging.  So now we get to have some kind of Deus Ex Machina to explain why the Emperor isn’t dead and was somehow manipulating things behind the scenes.  Jesus Christ.  This is so stupid.  Now, I get it.  Disney put themselves into a corner with this.  After all, they had to make SOMETHING to put out there and end this trilogy.  They couldn’t just leave it hanging.  But this is just sad.  This level of plot contrivance is just the worst.

Then there’s a montage of shots of cool scenery and an endless marasse of CG effects.  Rey and Dumbo (because of his giant-ass ears) having a really boring lightsaber fight.  A ship on CG water and a CG fleet coming together.  We then cut to probably the weirdest line in the film.  You have C-3PO getting a little actual puppet character to fuck with his system and hook him into something.  Then he stops and says that he wants to have one last look at his friends.  Um…what?!  When has it been established that any of these people are your friends?!  What scenes have you shared with any of these characters?!  All of your friends are dead!  Han, Luke, Leia, all dead!  Who are these fuckers to you?

We then move on to the final montage to get you revved up.  Do you remember John Williams’ great score?  Yeah, I do.  A pity it’s being waste on this shit.  And look, Billy Dee Williams!  What mansion did they haul your octogenarian ass out of to have you in this desperate attempt to cash in on nostalgia?  It’s a shame too, because I like Lando.  We then have…a horseback charge on a star destroyer.  I’m sorry, what the fuck is this?!  This is the dumbest thing I think I’ve ever seen.  Yes, because in the future all the people with lasers are going to be SO undone by morons on horseback, right?

So, according to the scuttlebutt around Hollywood, Rise of Skywalker isn’t actually finished yet.  Like, as in they’re still shooting scenes with the actors.  It’s in production.  Not post-production, but production.  With two months until release, it’s still being shot.  The reason is (allegedly) that Abrams went to the Disney executives and told them he had it ready, but that not everyone is going to like the ending.  At which point, Disney flat-out told him “um, what?  You better fucking do it again then, because we want the audience cheering for more Star Wars!”  After the massive financial black hole that was Solo: A Star Wars Story and The Star Wars Experience being a ghost town that they sunk an astronomical amount of money into, Disney is desperate to get people cheering for the new trilogy that the now-disgraced writers of Game of Thrones are supposedly doing.

I know that this movie is gonna make a fuck-ton of money, because Star Wars fanboys/girls are almost as die-hard as Nintendo fanboys/girls, but deep down I really hope it fails.  I want this franchise to die with its legacy intact.  With some level of dignity.  Not be driven into the ground until there’s nothing recognizable left.  Please, for the love of Groj just let this franchise go gracefully.

Initial Verdict
3 out of 10

Peace out,


Making Decisions For A Better World

For those of you who didn’t know (which is pretty much everyone who reads this site because I haven’t been big about my life outside of my hobbies, fictional works, and random thoughts on nonsense in quite some time), at the end of this year, I plan to get some medical work.  See, I have made a decision that I see as very mature.  After analyzing my life and what I value, I decided that I am going to opt out of the gene pool.  In other words, getting a vasectomy.  It’s something that has been on my mind for a long time.  I really don’t like children.  There isn’t a paternal bone in my entire body.  Last time I was put directly in charge of the safety of a small child was when it was riding on a snowmachine with me and we went up a hill covered in ice because it was follow the leader.  The machine fell to the side.  Thankfully, kiddo was alright, which I immediately made sure of before the others came and got the thing off us.  But that moment told me that I just don’t need that kind of stress in my life.

But there’s more than that.  A coworker who I told my plans to seemed utterly shocked that I would do such a thing.  However, I explained my very real ethical concerns on the matter.  The world doesn’t need me to create more people.  It’s apparently an incredibly unpopular thing, but it doesn’t make it any less true – overpopulation is killing our species.  That’s not a theory or an opinion.  It’s a fact.  An Oregon State University study found that a woman who recycles at her optimum has everything she ever does undone by a single baby.  The world cannot maintain with the population growth we have seen.

How people can say this is wrong just baffles me.  The increase in people means an increased need for resources, which means more production.  Which in turn means more shit pumped into the atmosphere from the places that do the production.  Not to mention more waste as more trash is created from the ever-growing number of people.  The city I live in recently did a ban on plastic bags, and while some people are unhappy about that, I am not among them.  No, quite the opposite.  I am ecstatic.  Because seeing the unending amount of littered bags has pissed me off.  Getting used to remembering my reusable grocery bags has taken some work, but now it’s all part of the day to day for me.

As our species isn’t doing anything remotely intelligent like wrangling asteroids to mine them, which in turn will push our species forward into developing into space and expanding from this one tiny ball of shit, the only hope for humanity now is to stop reproducing at such an excessive rate.  Bring the population down more than a little isn’t just something that is a good idea, it’s an absolute necessity.  If we don’t do something drastic, NOW, then it will be the grandchildren or great-grandchildren of my generation who gets to turn out the lights on our species.  We are out of options.

Naturally, when I came out about this fact to the parents, they were more than a little shocked.  It means that the family line essentially dies with me.  Of course, the argument was made to me – what if you meet someone and they want to have children?  My response – there are thousands upon thousands of children in America alone who have no home that could be given a good one with people who care about them.  And if the person really is so dead-set on having a stupid baby, they can go off and do that.  On their own.  I will have no part in it.  My ethics tells me this is the wrong thing to do, and I will have no part in facilitating the destruction of my species.

Recently I saw a thing where a bunch of high school kids signed a pledge stating that they would never be having children to help save humanity.  That genuinely was heart-warming to me.  Seeing young people ready to do something like this in order to help maintain their future, it makes me think that maybe there is hope for humanity.

Conservative media like the weasel-faced prick Ben Shapiro says that young people choosing not to make more humans is selfish.  Oh yeah?  To who?  If the person who has to incubate a spawn doesn’t want one, then wouldn’t it be more selfish to force her to have to do so?  Oh right, Benny is a religious type (the moment anyone makes fun of him, he is the first to call Anti-Semite), so every fetus is sacred.  And if the woman didn’t want to have it, she shouldn’t have opened her legs.  It isn’t selfish to make a conscious decision that will have demonstrable good for this planet.

Sure, in the short term things will most definitely fall apart.  Our global economy is centered around constant growth, as stagnation leads to profits falling, which leads to loss of investor confidence.  After all, they want their money to grow.  We are already seeing the population increase stalling in First World nations, and the crash is coming.  Once that happens, there will be a ton of anarchy and chaos, until humanity figures out a new way to survive.  But our species appears to be somewhat resilient.  We’ll get it together.

In the meantime, sometime at the end of this year, I’m going to be making an appointment to get myself out of the gene pool and to towel off.  It’s kinda sticky in their.

Until next time, a quote,

“Doing the right thing is not always easy and not always popular, but isn’t it enough to know it’s right?” – Senora Roy

Peace out,


Lucien’s Review: Kingdom Hearts III

This review is going to be a little bit different than my standard reviews.  Instead of talking about elements of this game, I’m going to talk about how much I absolutely fucking despise this game.  How much I think it’s a giant piece of shit, and how much it frustrates me that this is the end of a franchise.  I remember talking about Mass Effect 3 and Life is Strange and how the endings to those frustrated me.  But here’s the thing – the ends of this games frustrated me so much because they were SO good leading up it.  Everything before the Victory Fleet goes to Earth in Mass Effect 3 was perfect.  Simply, absolutely perfect.  Everything leading up to the lighthouse in Life is Strange was fantastic.  Both of those games just died right at the end.  Where the creative energy of both just expired.

Nowhere is the expiration of creative energy more apparent to me than in this game.  I am almost shocked how unfathomably bad Kingdom Hearts III is.  And it isn’t at the end.  This game is just so boring!  I remember when Kingdom Hearts II came out.  I still have my old PS2 copy of it.  That game was a fantastic sequel.  It felt like coming home to old friends while meetings some new ones.  Every single world you explored was interesting, and getting to see characters that we had come to like again was just great.  The plot had this great forward momentum.  Sure, some levels weren’t especially interesting, but that’s okay.  You got to enjoy the ones that were.

Plus, the gameplay was refined.  We had these great setpiece moves during boss fights.  There were the alternate forms where you could dual-wield keyblades.  That was fun.  New enemies were introduced, who were a unique challenge.  New worlds, some with neat gimmicks that you could dive into.

None of that was in this game!  Not one tiny fucking bit!  The lack of anything to pull you back and make you feel the nostalgia and eagerness to get into a story is there!  How did this happen?!  How did they make a game in this franchise that has every single element wrong?!  Nothing is right!  They even fucked up the gummi ship stuff!  I am blown away that that is possible!  The template for doing all of this stuff was right the fuck in front of you!  How did you get it this wrong?!  Fucking how?!

For starters, I guess they just forgot that part of the draw with this franchise was that it was Final Fantasy mixed with Disney.  The former was completely not represented in this game!  Where’s Cloud?!  Where’s Auron?!  Where’s Leon or Yuffie or maybe some characters from games we haven’t seen.  Wouldn’t have minded getting to chill with Lightning, or Noctis.  Maybe see some of the 2D era characters make an appearance, like Edge or Yang or Shadow or…you know what, this list would go on all day.  Did Square Enix just forget where this franchise got its genesis from?!  I hate this game so much.  And this is only the tip of the iceberg.

Remember my point about how the last sequel felt like coming home to old friends while meeting new people?  I figured a game in this franchise that’s the last would be like a huge symphony.  A massive production of worlds and characters that we could see all our friends, for the last time.  Closing out this huge adventure with everyone.  A franchise this epic, didn’t it deserve that?  Oh right, can’t do that.  Then they might have had to scale back on how massive the worlds are.  Why use space in a smart way, when you can just make less worlds bigger?  That sure does sound like fun.  Hell, that’s not even a good excuse, with how big some games are these days.

There is NO point in this game where it feels like you are meeting old friends.  Like you are coming together for one last ride.  That’s what this game should have been.  Going back to Radiant Garden and palling around with all your old chums.  Maybe have new Cloud in it, along with his crew.  Not a single old world, outside of Olympus.  Yeah, because that’s the place you wanted to go.  Oh wait, there was a short (and I do mean SHORT) visit back to the 100 Acre Wood.  So you could see the fun crew from that world for a little bit, until that’s over with and you never see any of them ever again.

While I bring up how short I was in 100 Acre Wood, let’s talk about the pacing of this game.  I cannot believe how poorly paced it was!  Every world felt like they were in a rush to get it done.  That’s how I felt about this whole fucking game, if we’re being honest.  Like they were in this huge rush to get to nowhere.  Like, by the time you get to the Keyblade Graveyard, it felt like we are at the halfway point, not the end of a huge saga.  When I finally understood that we were at the end, I was in shock.  Like, seriously!?  This is it?!  Where’s the Final Fantasy characters?!  Where’s getting to go to some of my old stomping grounds?  Where’s any of that?!  Why does this game feel half done?!

You know what, I got this EXACT same feeling from Final Fantasy XV.  So, you get to that water city, and then all the sudden the whole pacing of the game just goes to shit.  Like they were eager to get it over with.  That was another game from Tetsuya Nomura.  Makes me wonder – who’s at fault for this?  Was this Nomura just running out of creative energy, or is this Square Enix’s fault for rushing things?  I don’t know where the blame for this giant pile of shit goes, but somebody clearly needs to be given a talking to.

Oh, and can we talk about the endless fucking cutscenes?!  This was Metal Gear Solid 4 levels of bad!  They never end!  It wouldn’t be so bad if the plot was engaging, but it’s not!  Don’t even get me started on the terrible scenes in the Frozen world where you have the god-awful songs from that shit-tastic movie playing in-game, and the game acknowledging that they happened.  Like, seriously?!  You’re not weirded out that a song happened and an orchestra magically is making music out of fucking nowhere?!  Ugh!

This game sucks.  I got nothing else to say.  It sucks ass!  Not a single thing in this game isn’t bad.  Aside from the Toy Story world, where I actually did feel some nostalgia for my childhood.  The one bright spot in a giant turd pile.  I’m done.  I’m done with this franchise.  It’s dead to me.  Square Enix is really going to the dogs lately.  Nomura is now heading up the remake to Final Fantasy VII, and I gotta tell ya – I’m worried.  Will this be another instance of things going to shit.  Apparently there’s a secret ending that hints of this franchise continuing.  Fuck that, I’m done.  It’s dead to me.  Some of my childhood died here.  This company is going to shit, and I don’t know what it will take to make it better.

Final Verdict
2 out of 10

Peace out,