Well, a bunch of Christian kids has decided to make a video about how Christianity is under attack in America, and how they need to stand up to it. The name of the video is “The Thaw.” Ugh…
I am going to do this post like I have done others. We will do a hit for hit with their words, where they say something and I respond. Let’s get started.
Christianity is being completely frozen out of America.
Since 70% of Americans identify themselves as Christian and you can’t get to office in this country without sucking religion’s dick, I’m going to call BS on that one. But let’s hear more. Oh, by the way, there are a lot of people who talk in this video, so when I make a point about different people talking, take it in stride.
Why can’t I pray in school?!
Who’s stopping you?
Why do I have to check my religion at the door?
So many speakers, so many questions. None of them smart or right.
Why can’t I write about God in my school papers?
Again, who’s stopping you? You all talk about this stuff but have NO sources to back your claims up.
Why do I have to tolerate people cursing my God, but am not allowed to talk about my God and my faith.
Okay, fuck it. Let’s just get this all out in the open. Everything that these kids said was bullshit. You are allowed to pray in schools. Nobody is stopping you. Here is what is not allowed to happen – you are not allowed to have teacher-led mandatory prayer. Public schools cannot openly support a religion. The fundies have been throwing this lie around for as long as I have been alive. If a student wants to pray or talk about God or whatever, they are allowed to do that. My school had a couple of bible-study groups who met after school. I knew a girl who wrote a paper on why God is so awesome and we are so bad. It got a bad grade, but that wasn’t because it was about God. I read her paper. Her grammar was awful! For real, I guess that God didn’t give this girl good editing tips. Oh, and she didn’t use any quotes from any other materials. Any good essay should be backed up by sources. Last I checked, the Bible is a source. It has been used well, in several religious papers. And before you call foul because I am an atheist, I was an English major before becoming a journalism major. I’ve read a lot of essays.
But yeah, nothing that these kids say is true. You are allowed to pray. You don’t have to leave your religion at the door. You can talk about your God all you want. But at a public school, funded by public money, the faculty cannot endorse a religion or require religion to be mandatory. Can we please stop pandering this bullshit to the Christards who want to think that they are some kind of oppressed minority?
Why are they taking God out of my history books?
Uh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of the fact that God is not real, and we want ACTUAL history being taught to students. For real, America already doctors the shit out of history for their curriculum. Like how they make Christopher Columbus seem like a great guy, when the truth is that he has more in common with Hitler than any of us. So yeah, that’s just dumb.
Why do they teach every other theory in science except creation?
Gee, maybe it’s because the Theory of Evolution is actual science with a metric ton of data to support it, while the belief that a magical sky-wizard created the universe has absolutely NO evidence to support it at all! If you want to learn about pseudo-science, some schools offer religious courses. But don’t demand that your bullshit be taught as something that has actual basis in reality. There was no creation. The “Theory of Creation” is nothing but a crackpot theory that doesn’t even count as pseudo-science. It isn’t science at all. I mean, think about it – he spends seven days creating this one planet and all the things on it, but an entire universe, with a googleplex of stars and planets, organized into trillions upon trillions of galaxies, that was just an afterthought. Does that sound like science to you? Of course not. And that is why it isn’t being taught in public schools.
Why am I called names because I believe in marriage the way God designed it?
I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you’re a bigot. And the kid who says this looks like he is at that point where puberty is a new thing. And when he discovers internet porn, and is jerking off to two chicks having sex, I will feel so good pointing out that he is also a hypocrite too. But for the Christian, that means nothing. They will impose their values onto others because Gawd tells them to. Yeah, I could have swore that Jesus said something about loving your neighbors and your enemies and not trying to ruin their lives. Consistency, what’s that?!
Some even call us hateful. Hypocrites. Unloving. Close-minded. Bigots.
I have yet to hear a term that doesn’t apply to you, so yeah, that’s accurate.
Why can’t Tim Tebow praise God after making a touchdown without causing a national uproar?
What the fuck are you talking about? Last I checked, most people thought that that guy was just the most awesome thing since sliced bread. In what universe is he this hated guy who prays to the guy that an overwhelming majority of people worship?
The football coach at Ridgeland High School, in Georgia, was investigated by the school board. Did he abuse a student? Is he a terrorist? He allowed local churches to feed his football team. *group gasp*
Wow, what ego-stroking bullshit. So, I looked this story up. This story is such a non-issue that it is kind of amazing. There was no “investigation.” A group complained and it ended there. A complaint was issued, it was dealt with and there was no big investigation. Not to mention, are you saying that there are people who are with the idea that the government is cracking down on religion? For as much as politicians suck religion’s big fat cock, that REALLY doesn’t hold water.
At public school, I’m called ‘lesbian,’ or ‘gay’ for not kissing or for wanting to save myself for marriage.
Wait…what? What school do you go to where this is the case? Back in my days at a public high school, girls who didn’t “save themselves for marriage” were slut-shamed and harassed by the other girls who believe that Gawd just loved them. Never mind that they weren’t slutty at all. They were just honest about who they are. And the biggest sluts in high school had the Bible at the top of their beloved-books list. Not to mention “save myself for marriage”? What the fuck is this, the 17th century?
Abstinence doesn’t work. It has never worked. The reason is simple – we are human beings. We have urges. Deny that long enough and your mind finds ways around it. That’s the reason that SO many religious girls in high school get pregnant. And don’t even compare yourselves to the trouble that actual gays and lesbians face from you religious zealots. My friend Zero got the shit kicked out of her by a bunch of girls who knew that she was a lesbian. Zero knows how to fight, but the girls got their boyfriends to help. It was “god’s mission.” I don’t feel bad for having my own people beat the shit out of their boyfriends’, slash the tires of all their cars and isolate each of them, with the express understanding that if they hurt my friend again, I would be taking parts off. I was young, immature and angry, but nobody hurts my friends. So yeah, fuck you.
In public school, people are rude and disrespectful toward Christians. Bullying is common.
Okay, stop right there! I call bullshit! I cannot begin to tell you how many of the bullies at my school counted God among their best friends and called him their “lord and savior.” Whenever a gay kid got bullied, it was a Christian. When my lesbian friend got beaten, they thought it was a mission from God. A girl who got pregnant in high-school, I guarantee you that it was Christians front-and-center slut-shaming her. There was this kid whose family was Muslim, and he got bullied and harassed in ways you can’t imagine. I took that kid into my fold after I saw how bad it got. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, fucks with the friend group of a guy like me. I am a titan. I was a titan back in high school. Nobody messed with my in-crowd. And I made sure that people knew that this kid was a part of it.
The Christians absolutely love this narrative that goes that they are somehow the victims of oppression, when it is they themselves who are oppressing others. LGBT rights aren’t being blocked by atheists. It is being blocked by Christians, Muslims and especially the Mormons. Some of the most hardcore activism against gay rights has been by the Mormons. This narrative makes Christians feel good. America loves to be the victims. We love to have a narrative we can tell ourselves that makes us feel like we are the victims of some horrible crime. Sadly, it isn’t true. But let’s continue.
What we see in our health classes. ‘Sex education.’ 4th grade and up. Is pornography.
Wow, when the posters in a sex-ed classroom are viewed as pornography, then I am starting to think that Christians really are afraid of their own reproductive organs. I mean, this is just pathetic. I bet half of Christians don’t even like saying the words “penis” or “vagina.” Can we make a deal, Christians? I will work harder not to attack you, if you will please just TRY and be a little more mature.
People make fun of me because I don’t believe in abortion!
What universe are these kids from, exactly? I mean, really?! Because, again, in my experience in a public high school, it was the Christians picking on the people who weren’t against abortion. And god-help you (pun intended) if you were a girl who got outed when you had one. The wrath of the Christards was almost…biblical. Again, pun intended.
In public school, people believe Christians are goodie-goods and boring.
Okay, they have finally said something that is true. Among my in-group, anyway. Since Christians were never really bullied and were instead the bullies, it was an idea we kept to ourselves. But still, yeah, they are goodie-goods and boring. Well, those who aren’t like the people in this video, that is. And those who think like them. The people who are spewing this bullshit are bigots and hypocrites who want to play themselves off as victims. But for the rest, who aren’t in my face, then yeah, I am down with that thought process.
Dirty jokes fill the hallways between classes. During class. Before school. At lunch. After school. On the bus. Off the bus.
Boo-fucking-hoo, you little crybaby. If you don’t like people telling dirty jokes, here’s a radical thought – don’t listen!
Get the idea?
Oh. So this is meant to say that we should all moderate our behavior so that you don’t have to feel offended. Well, I got news for you, Christard kids – you don’t get to make that demand! You don’t control my behavior! It’s a free country, and we are allowed to joke about what we want, when we want. Don’t like it, go somewhere else. It’s not like we are holding a gun to your head and saying, “listen to this fucking joke, bitch!” So yeah, another mute point made to show how you are the victims.
Despite modern popular belief, America WAS founded as a Christian nation.
No it wasn’t. Almost none of our Founding Fathers were Christian. Thomas Jefferson was a deist. Thomas Paine was a deist. John Adams was a Unitarian. Ben Franklin was a deist. And not one place in the Constitution does it say that this country is a Christian nation. You Christians have been rallying this point to death! And you are wrong! When I point out the 1st Amendment, people often come back at me with this line -
It’s freedom OF religion, not freedom FROM religion!
Wow, it’s like you all can’t stop to think. Two words, so similar in their meaning. And they didn’t say that we have freedom of religion. The 1st Amendment says that government “shall pass no law respecting an establishment of religion, nor prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” That clear enough for you? If America was founded in support of Christianity, then I figure that Jesus or his baby-daddy would be mentioned somewhere. But they aren’t! This point is dumb! But back to the video.
No one would dare not to stand, place their hand over their heart, and recite the pledge.
The kid who says this puts his hand over his shoulder. So smart.
America was founded as a force for good.
Tell that to the millions of Native Americans that the Europeans slaughtered. Or how about we tell it to the millions of civilians in the Middle East who have been victims of George Bush II and his newest crusade into their countries, killed by our soldiers. Or maybe we could ask the slaves that we brutally took from their homes and absolutely ravaged in this country. Let’s ask them how much America is a “force for good.”
America was once the force for hope in the world.
And now we are being left behind by the rest of the Western World, because we can’t get our shit together. This post has gone on a little long already, so let’s skip ahead to the end.
We are an army. Christ is our commander. His will is our charge. We are impacting our friends. Our family. Our community. Our state. Our country. We’re in a war for the hearts and souls of our generation. And we know it.
Since there is no God, no Christ or any of that, you won’t be taking your orders from him. Instead, you’ll take it from other people. People who are corrupt, have a stake in holding society back and are living like kings because of it. Oh, fuck, they are living WAY better than the king’s back in Jesus’ day ever did. You are weak, weak-minded and stupid. But thanks to the internet, who is not at ALL a nice animal, your bullshit is being taken apart. People are too informed to buy into your crap. And that is all the better.
Until next time, a quote,
“Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don’t have all the answers to think that they do. Most people would think it’s wonderful when someone says, ‘I’m willing, Lord! I’ll do whatever you want me to do!’ Except that since there are no gods actually talking to us, that void is filled in by people with their own corruptions and limitations and agendas. And anyone who tells you they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you don’t. How can I be so sure? Because I don’t know, and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.” -Bill Maher, Religulous