Stuff About Me

A list of questions that is making the rounds.  Thought that you, my audience, might like to know a bit about your enigmatic blogger.

6′ 10-1/2″


2:Shoe size

3:Do you smoke?

4:Do you drink?
Not really. Used to when I was living with my ex, but not since then

5:Do you take drugs?

6:Age you get mistaken for

7:Have tattoos?
Can’t decide what I want yet, so no

8:Want any tattoos?
God yes

9:Got any piercings?

10:Want any piercings?

11:Best friend?
Not currently. I’ve had three, and now all three of them are estranged.

12:Relationship status
Single and loathing it

13:Biggest turn ons
There’s no easy way to answer that. It can vary from person to person. Me and me are complicated.

14:Biggest turn offs

15:Favorite movie
That’s a very broad category.
Part One
Part Two

16:I’ll love you if
You can talk with me about good stories for hours on end

17:Someone you miss
The first girl I loved.  She moved away and now we see almost nothing of one-another.  A pity that things couldn’t have been different.  I am convinced that we could have worked.  Never got a chance.

18:Most traumatic experience
Head injury when I was 14.  I was dead for almost a minute and in a coma for a month.  Everything that followed that sucked.

19:A fact about your personality
I am very depressing, but am good-humored enough to hide it among friends.

20:What I hate most about myself
That I seem to be completely unappealing to people, both romantically and sexually.  All my relationships have been blind luck.

21:What I love most about myself
I am the first person that my friends come to when they have problems.  They know that they can trust me.

22:What I want to be when I get older
I am older, and I still don’t have a fucking clue.

23:My relationship with my sibling(s)

24:My relationship with my parent(s)
Pretty decent.  It’s had its ups and downs, but we’re at a good place now.

25:My idea of a perfect date
Going to a burger joint, where the person I am with doesn’t feel the need to get all uptight.  I’d rather it just be us, as people, getting to know one-another, without the pressure.

26:My biggest pet peeves

27:A description of the girl/boy I like
Long brown hair, creamy skin, a gentle smile.

28:A description of the person I dislike the most
Short, spiky, bleach-blonde hair

29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend
I really didn’t want to see anyone that night.  I wasn’t proud of it, but I was in a very bad mood.

30:What I hate the most about work/school
I have no idea where I’m going, once it’s done.  Staring down the barrel of life, without a compass.

31:What your last text message says
That’s kind of personal, don’t you think? (for real, that’s what it said)

32:What words upset me the most
When people say, “I’m doing good.”  It’s “well,” dammit!

33:What words make me feel the best about myself
“Wanna hang out?”

34:What I find attractive in women
That’s kind of tricky.  As I said above, it varies from person to person.  I will say that I like a woman who isn’t dolled up all the time.  And I do not find heels attractive at all.  For real, ladies, if it hurts your foot to wear, don’t wear it!

35:What I find attractive in men
Another tricky question.  I will say that, with guys, I am VERY much not into effeminate dudes.  The men I have been into were very much their own people, making no apology for it.

36:Where I would like to live
On an ocean, somewhere temperate

37:One of my insecurities
This nagging suspicion that I’ll be alone forever.

38:My childhood career choice
That’s gone all over the place.  For a time, I wanted to be a paleontologist.  Then I wanted to be an astronaut.  Then I wanted to be a lawyer.

39:My favorite ice cream flavor
Dulce de Leche

40:Who wish I could be
Someone with a LOT of money.  Not fame.  Money

41:Where I want to be right now
That’s kind of private.  Yeah, it’s like you think.

42:The last thing I ate
Ice cream and cake, at a birthday party

43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
A girl that I’m into.  I won’t say more than that.

44:A random fact about anything
You can increase your speed by moving faster, and decrease it by going slower.  Word

45. Selfie
Not a fucking chance.

Until next time, a quote,

“The more you learn, the less you know.”  -Omar Little, The Wire

Peace out,


IGDA, the Blockbot, at the Vilification of Dissent, #GamerGate

I haven’t seen any big news about GamerGate in a couple of weeks.  It’s been pretty quiet.  But, just when things were looking to have settle down, the anti-GamerGate crowd decided that they just couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie.  No, they had to decide to kick some shit at gamers, because that seems to be all that the gaming media industry is good for, these days.  At least, sites like Polygon and their ilk.  Although, they seem to have expanded and got a larger organization to back them.  These people just can’t give up, can they.

The International Game Developers Association has decided to go on a branding and blocking campaign.  For those of us in the atheist community, we know quite a bit about this kind of thing.  In fact, the group who is behind this seems to have taken a page out of their book.  I wonder if Oolon designed this for them?  We all remember the Blockbot.  The Atheism + special snowflake weapon of protecting themselves from differing opinions.  Now, the IDGA has employed this weapon for themselves, and have thus far blacklisted over 10,000 accounts.  Some of which are reporters.  There are also people who have had nothing to do with GamerGate, but are critics of the Puritan Feminists.

The fact that a company who is supposed to be a voice for the gaming industry at large is using a block bot, with poorly-worded criteria of what qualifies to get one added to it, and is targeting anybody who the anti-GamerGate people don’t like is sending a poor message.  This is a company who is supposed to be a trade group.  Now, they are siding with a group of people who are nothing but bullies and claim to speak for all women in the gaming industry.  The problem with that is – it blatantly ignores the fact that there are women, growing in number, who disagree with this assertion.

And take a look at some of the people that this list has added to their blockbot – Penguin publishers, several Guardian journalists, the actor Taye Diggs, and weirdest of all – Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Seriously, when did KFC get involved with GamerGate?  That’s an odd thing to associate them with.  According to the maker of the IGDA blockbot, Randi Harper, KFC is one of the worst harassers of women on Twitter.  You can’t make this stuff up.

It’s nice to see another group associated with gaming who has decided to throw in their lot with the Puritan Feminists.  That’s sarcasm, of course.  The reality is that this is REALLY fucking annoying.  It’s so frustrating that another part of the gaming community has thrown themselves behind a group of people who actually got on a man who landed a spacecraft on a comet because of the shirt he was wearing.  That’s the company that IGDA feels they want to ally themselves with.  This is a major-league company, and this is who they want to be friends with.

But the real issue here is – they have decided to just label people.  Man, it’s almost impossible to escape how much these people and their lists are EXACTLY like the McCarthy witch-hunts, back in the day.  For real, the comparison is almost spot-on.  You get accused of being a communist, so you are.  That’s how the media sees you, and will have people like Brianna Wu come on and caricature you, without being able to defend yourself, because these people go out of their way to avoid having to actually discuss things with their opponents.  They are much happier making them into boogeymen for the media to attack and vilify.

Something that I never brought up before is how, a lot of the college-grad Puritan Feminists have degrees in things like Marketing, along with Communications or stuff to that regard.  Everything these people do has been for one purpose – to keep the money coming in and get their agenda out in a way that is efficient.  It’s only natural that they prey on the far-left progressives, who are so eager to be part of anything that is culturally forward-thinking that they seem to forget to be critical of people whose ideals are going too far.  The women who are part of the social justice snowflake movement are using their marketing to market their agenda.  And their agenda is – men are bad, and men are the problem.  These people have commandeered feminism, atheism, and now they are trying to get gaming as well.  However, when they tried to get gaming, something happened that they didn’t expect – resistance.  Lots and lots of resistance.  In fact, the gaming community has successfully stuck back at them and has been dragging their dirty deeds into the light.  No longer is this battle on Twitter and Tumblr.  Now it’s out in the real world.  Which would explain why they are trying to get mainstream media on their side.  The worst part is, that it is working, because now they have the IGDA with them too.  That education is being well-used, I see.

I suppose that I am on the list, since I know that I follow people who are on the list.  And when I hear that I am on the list, here is what my mind harkens back to -

And now I am on the list.  Are you on the list?

Until next time, a quote,

“Any anyone and everyone who’s ever made me pissed!  I’ve got them on the list!”  -Stewie Griffin, Family Guy

Peace out,


Lucien’s Review: Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas

Kirk Cameron's Saving ChristmasThere was a term that Lois uses on Family Guy to describe the film Vanilla Sky.  The term is – cinematic abortion.  That’s what this movie is.  It is painful to sit through.  This has been an odd year in that a TON of religious-propaganda films have come out.  They all, without a single exception, have one thing in common – they all suck.  Some have sucked to a point where they are fun to watch, like God’s Not Dead.  Others are still bad, but not so awful that it pains me to watch, like Persecuted or Noah.  That was not this.  This film is one of the worst pieces of shit that I have ever seen.  Period.  It was painful, from start to finish.  Nothing was good.  Nothing was enjoyable.  I just lost over an hour of my life.  I’ll never get it back!  Kirk Cameron, I want my fucking hour back!  You owe me!  I have to put out my review of this, because you all need to understand why seeing this movie is wrong!  Let’s get this over with.

The plot of this movie is about a man who is so cast to be like Scrooge McDuck that I am going to just call him by title.  Scrooge has come to dislike Christmas, and refuses to take part in it, much to the chagrin to his family and their stereotypical gay black friend.  So, Kirk Cameron, who clearly is playing himself (because he can’t act), goes out to the car where Scrooge is sitting and the two talk about Christmas and what it really means.  Does he eventually come around to thinking that Christmas is awesome and Jesus is great too?  You bet your cliched ass he does!  Even does a sliding run into the Christmas tree and presents.  Ugh…

So, here’s the part where I talk about the elements of the film.  Why do I do this to myself?  This is almost cruel and unusual punishment.  I know, I have to.  I hope you all appreciate what I put myself through for you.  NOTHING in this movie works.  Nothing.  The cinematography is boring, except for some weird shots where it is entire too self-aware.  There is this dance number that comes right the fuck out of nowhere at the end, and the way they shoot it, everyone is just too aware of the camera’s existence.  The entire end of this film is like an acknowledgement that it’s all a movie, and doesn’t mean a fucking thing.  It’s so annoying!

While we’re talking about that, let’s address the characters.  Scrooge is such a caricature.  He is meant to be one of the atheists like me, who think that Christmas is just a corporate holiday, and that Christians stole it from the pagans (which is the absolute truth).  However, Cameron takes it a step further.  He believes that Jesus was born on December 25th.  I guess he never saw that bit in The Boondocks where Huey explains why the idea of Jesus being born on the 25th of December makes no sense.  Yeah, Cameron doesn’t logic much, and it shows.  His inability to logic is all over this film.  Every other character is such a stereotype.  You have the concerned wife stereotype, the gay black friend stereotype, the bland kids who clearly don’t know what they are doing in this movie stereotype.  Yeah, whoever lent this film their kids, it wasn’t worth it.  I wouldn’t want to be associated with anything having to do with this movie.

So, how’s the message?  Well, I don’t suppose I need to tell you.  It’s dumb.  Really, really dumb.  For starters, the whole idea of “putting Christ back in Christmas” is the bread and butter of Fox News each holiday season.  Can’t wait to see what their “War on Christmas” line is this year.  It’s gotten so predictable.  Here’s some truth for any Christians who happen to read this – the story of Jesus’ birth is bullshit.  Here’s why – the earliest Gospel doesn’t even talk about it.  What’s more, there are two conflicting narratives.  In the first, Caesar Augustus says that there is a census of his Empire being done, and all people are to return to their towns of origin.  Never mind that such a huge undertaking would have been recorded by somebody.  Let’s just forget the small plot holes in the story.  The other story is the one that most people know.  King Herrod is told that a king is going to be born who will rule all men.  So, he has his soldiers go out and slaughter all the baby boys of the land.  Again, you’d think that that would have been talked about by somebody.  Inconsistency?  What’s that?  Not to mention – the whole virgin birth thing makes no sense.  After all, human parthenogenesis is theoretically possible, but here’s the kicker – it wouldn’t produce male offspring.  No Y chromosome.  But yeah, if you take apart all the plot holes in the Bible, people get upset.

Now that I’ve lectured you about this film’s history, I want to tell you all another neat fact about how bad this movie is – Kirk Cameron has decided to take on Rotten Tomatoes, which took this movie to town in the rating department.  He posted on his Facebook page, asking his readers to go on Rotten Tomatoes and give the film a higher rating, so more people see it.  That worked…for a while.  See, the atheists also went on the site and rated the movie, giving it the rating it deserves.  Kirk, if your movie is so terrible that you are having to use your status to get people to watch it, it’s doomed anyway.  Are you going to keep appealing to people forever?

This movie is the worst.  The absolute worst.  It is an hour and a half of time that I will never get back, and if I ever see Kirk Cameron, I’m kicking him the balls for having to sit through this. People should do the same for Michael Bay movies.  It would be fitting punishment.  I hated ever second watching this.  Porn has more believability than these characters.  I at least believe that they are real people, faking emotional interaction.  This film deserves the title – cinematic abortion.  The ONLY people who will like this garbage is people who already know what they are getting.  People who want to hear the Christian echo chamber.  In other words – Fox News viewers.

Final Verdict
-10 out of 10

Peace out,


The Word “Freshman” Promotes Rape? (A response to Elon University)

You know, I try and not take things too seriously.  I know that, given my recent involvement in GamerGate and things like that, that it might appear that I take a lot seriously, but I really don’t.  Life is too short to try and take on every windmill one comes across.  I’m already getting older, it’s just not worth it.  My middle finger still works, but I use it sparingly.  But sometimes, you come across something so stupid that you can’t help but be in awe, absolute awe, of the fact that people actually behave like this.

Given the infiltration of radical feminism into the atheist community, which has typically educated people, because it takes critical thinking to realize that religion is bullshit, it is only natural the Puritan Feminism tries to make its way into academia.  For those who don’t buy into this, I present you with what Elon University is doing.

See, they have themselves a belief.  It is silly, makes no sense, and is part of a larger problem with the Puritan Feminist worldview that is not only infecting my hobby, but has also given young women a flawed and depressing view of college.  They don’t like the word “freshman.”  Why?  Well, according to Leigh-Anne Royster, the university’s “Inclusive Community Wellbeing Director” (the most pretentious position that I have ever heard), it is a word that promotes rape.  It’s also sexist.  That’s important for people to know.  This isn’t like a minor thing, either.  Any orientation person who used that term would get fiercely corrected.

The University has actually gotten the word banned from   This brings up the first issue.  Banning words is VERY close to thought-policing.  It’s very 1984.  Puritan Feminism seems unconcerned just how fascist a lot of what they want for the world is.  You can’t use certain words, you can’t be a certain way (unless they approve, which ties right in), you can rat out people for being against them or doing wrong without a single shred of proof (think the Michael Shermer accusations and such).  These people are either totally unaware or don’t even seem to care that they are becoming the people who oppress.  Slowly but surely, these people are trying to erase differing opinions, making their doctrine the only one.

A neat fact to point out – a lot of the women who are among the Puritan Feminists are non-believers.  They trade in one set of dogma for a new ideology that is just as much, if not moreso, dogmatic.  That’s ironic.

The next thing is – is this how these people not only see college, but also men?  Do they think that men in college look at women who are just entering and go, “hey boys, the fresh meat is here!”  Yeah, because they enter like they are in prison, right?  And all us men are so rape-y that we are just foaming at the mouth to get at them.  That’s the worldview that they are espousing.  They caricature men as rapist pigs, with women now saying that they are afraid of going to college because of men.  That is so infuriating and offensive.  It goes more to prove that they view women as weak and pathetic, and men as sexist animals who are waiting to prey on any woman they can find.  I’ve long said that Puritan Feminism is thinly-veiled misandry, and I keep getting more and more proof that I’m right.  These people HATE men, and I just wish they would come out and say it.

So, what word does Elon University want to replace the word “freshman?”  You’re gonna love this.  They want to call them “first years.”  Yes, that’s right – First Years.  Hey, do the students go to college on a train?  Do they ride across the lake and get escorted by Hagrid into orientation?  They’ll then go to the Sorting Ceremony afterwards and have the Sorting Hat tell them what degree program to get into.  I bet most of them are praying not to be stuck in Liberal Arts.  And God help whoever gets into Women’s Studies!  They are going to turn into one of these creatures.  After that, the Dean of Students, Dumbledore, will give a speech to welcome them to the University.

It’s rare that Puritan Feminism can give me a laugh like this, so good on them.  I am thoroughly entertained.  I guess we know what the Inclusive Community Wellbeing Director is into.  But we also know that she is part of the most sexist movement in recent memory.  Not only does it think that all men are pigs, but it thinks that all women are weak and need their protection from the rape-y men.  Yeah, very empowering.

Until next time, a quote,

“Relax!  Just get a drink and settle down.  There’s nothing going on, and you’re missing it!”  -Doug Stanhope

Peace out,


The Lonely Prince

Once upon a time, there was a lonely prince in a very lonely kingdom.

He was a nice enough sort, trying to meet his subjects and get to know them.  He treated them like he would want to be treated.  And the subjects seemed to like the Prince.  He gained many who he called friends.  There were several to whom he was incredibly close.  The Prince loved each of them, wishing that they could spend every day together.  For a time, it was wonderful.  Those years were the best that the Prince had ever had.

However, as is want to happen, time passed.  Those among his friends grew up.  He grew up as well.  The more they grew, the further apart they became.  What was once avid visits and great conversations was now an occasional thing, His friends seemed less and less interested to be around the Prince.  Try as he might, they didn’t seem to fit into each other’s worlds anymore.  The Prince was very sad.

After a time, almost all of his friends drifted apart, and the Prince was left by himself.  There were four in-particular that this hurt him most.  The first was a girl who he had known since he was barely out of diapers.  Despite being so different, they were able to find kinship, and for many years, it felt like they would never be apart.  However, the Prince had a tragic accident.  He was kept in the castle for months, broken and damaged.  He was hoping that she would see him, but she never did.  The Prince would later learn that the girl’s father had been behind this.  He made a vow to one day make that man pay for what he had done.  Though it seems that life may do the heavy lifting or him there.  The father is a miserable drunk, who is sure to die much younger than most, as his drinking habit is so bad that it would likely kill him to stop.

The second was the person that the Prince held as his brother, for he was, in every way that mattered, except by blood.  The two had a kinship that nobody else could understand.  They grew up together, played together.  When they were VERY young, they even napped together.  The pictures of that are quite adorable.  They spoke of wanting to make their own kingdom.  For many hours, they mulled over the laws that they would have.  The Prince would be kind to his people.  His Brother would be stern, when the situation called for it.  The two would have the greatest kingdom that the world had ever seen.  However, the two were involved in an accident, when their vehicle hit a tree, after slipping on an icy road.  The Prince’s Brother was hurt.  It worried the Prince to no end.  However, he recovered, and for a time, all seemed well.  A couple years later, his Brother, however, demanded reparations from the Prince for his pain, and took vast sums of money from him.  What’s more, he took from the family as well.  The Prince was enraged and hurt.  He had been used, and thrown away.  The Prince has made a pact that, should he ever see his Brother again, he will vent his anger upon him with cold reality.

The third is the first girl that the Prince truly loved.  They met early in his life, but it wasn’t until a little later in his childhood that she would become a regular part of it.  She moved to the Prince’s kingdom, and became very close with him and his Brother.  The three of them seemed to be the very closest of friends.  However, following the Prince’s accident, something changed in how he saw her.  He was starting to notice girls, and he noticed her.  The Prince was confused, and a little scared.  For you see, there is a secret.  One which only the Prince knows.  It has to do with who she is in respect to him.  As the years went by, the Prince’s feelings became stronger and stronger.  Indeed, he found a passionate love for her, which he could never tell her of.  It was tearing him apart, with how much he wanted her.  However, she had moved on, going in her own way.  The Prince will never be able to have the relationship he desires with her, and the sad truth is that they see less and less of each other.  Eventually, they will only see one-another on holidays.  A fact that has broken the Prince’s heart more than once.

Lastly, there is the newest of the bunch.  This one is unique.  For you see, she is a strong type.  Unlike any the Prince had met, she refused to let her station in life define her.  A gifted skater, she grew up as a farmer’s daughter.  She also had a gift that is above all others – her artwork.  Beautiful and poetic, it touched the Prince in a profound way.  At the point in his life that the Prince met her, he was dealing with a lot of pain.  The two found something in one-another that was beyond description.  However, she continually would go back and forth in her commitment to their friendship.  The Prince was confused and annoyed.  Finally, their friendship fell to ruin, after the girl and her lover had issues with her friendship with the Prince.  After some time, the Prince tried to reconnect with her, only to have that not go anywhere.  Indeed, it has been a reminder of how little people seem to desire his company.

Now, the older Prince sits in his chamber, wishing that he could just leave his kingdom.  He wants to take his vehicle and depart from it, never to return.  If only he could leave behind all the unrequited love that has been hurting him so much.  It never seems to improve, and his future doesn’t look that great, either.

He makes new friends in stories.  His creative mind creates vast worlds.  Yet, he has a bad habit.  For you see, the Prince has started so many stories, yet he has finished almost none of them.  Perhaps he doesn’t want to know the end.  Perhaps he can’t tell it in a way that makes him satisfied.  Perhaps he wants to keep his friends with him, so they never truly leave.  If the story doesn’t end, then they can be together forever.

If only there was a part of the kingdom where he could settle down.  Some nice place by the sea.  Where he could stare off at the ocean during the sunrise and sunset.  He could listen to the waves, feel the ocean breeze and not want for anything.  Indeed, that sounded wonderful.

But that is a fantasy.  Once which the Prince feels can never be.  He sits alone, now realizing that the only time when he will find that place is when his spirit departs his body, and he goes on to that great Everafter, where the former Queen, his grandmother, will be waiting.  Some of his best childhood memories were when he would talk with her.  If only one could go back to those days, if only for a day.  To when his friends would be waiting, and they could live, like real people.

The Great Everafter, that is when it must be.  Whenever shall it come?

Until next time, a quote,

I saw myself as a knight-errant…but the damsel in distress stabbed me in the back, my sword shattered on the dragon’s hide, and my grail turned out to be the bottom of a whiskey bottle.” -John Taylor

Peace out,


Lucien’s Review: The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Grand Budapest HotelThis has got to be one of the strangest and most engrossing movies that I have ever seen.  For real, this movie is more random than Seinfeld, and that’s saying something.  I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised by this.  After all, the last film I saw by Wes Anderson was The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.  That was also one of the strangest and most engrossing movies I have ever seen.  Wes Anderson is a master of subtle and random comedy.  You never know where the next funny moment is going to come from.  Sometimes, it is just a split-second.  To a point where you are laughing and you don’t really know why.  That is some powerful-good filmmaking, and fun to watch.  Still, this is an odd movie.  There is a minute amount of direction, but that’s about it.  Though I suppose I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let’s talk about it.

The plot of this movie…is odd.  It is about an author, telling the story of his younger years, telling the story of his interview with the owner of the titular Grand Budapest Hotel, who tells the story of his younger years and growing up in the hotel.  Yeah, can you see why I say that this movie is random?  There is narration over almost all of the film, and the style changes from person to person.  I wish I could explain it more simply, but I can’t.  Believe me, I wish I could.  There is no rhyme or reason behind half the events of the film.  Things just happen, and you take it in, before being whisked away to watch something else happen.  Some of the events don’t even last 10 minutes.  It’s that random.

So, with a movie this strange and this hard to follow, you’re probably wondering why it isn’t a total mess.  Well, the answer for that is – the characters.  Oh my god, the characters MAKE this movie.  This film would be a giant pile of convoluted shit, where it not for the roles in this movie.  You have Ralph Fiennes playing M. Gustave, a manager of The Grand Budapest Hotel.  He is just so lovably absurd.  He isn’t an especially good person.  In fact, he’s a smooth-talking manipulative schmuck. But he does it with such class and such strange style that he gains extraordinary amounts of likeability.  Then there is Bill Murray as M. Ivan, who is also so enjoyably likeable, even though he has his own flaws.  But this movie has a TON of people!  All of them reasonably big names, and some of them for just ten minutes.  You have Edward Norton and a military officer, for only ten minutes.  You have Jeff Goldblum as the representative for a past owner of The Grand Budapest, and you hardly hear him speak.  There is even Lea Seydoux, who gained her fame in Blue is the Warmest Color.  Every single role is fantastic.  I have only given a few of the characters.  This movie wouldn’t be nearly as charming without them.

The other thing that makes this movie work is the pace.  This movie is fast.  Really, really fast.  I honestly can’t see the comedy in this film working any other way.  Lines are quick, scenes are quick, everything is fast.  For as short as this film is, it doesn’t waste a second.  Jokes are one-after-another, with almost all of them hitting their mark.  Almost all of it comes back to Ralph Fiennes.  I have wracked my brain, but I can’t think of a single actor who could do his role even close to the way he can.  The way that he carries himself in this film leaves you wondering the entire time whether he knows about how he is or not.  It’s almost like Alice in Wonderland.  In fact, it’s that way with most of the characters.  It’s like they don’t know how they really feel about something.  They just do things, and that’s it.

Another thing that this movie has is visual humor.  Subtle ways that they shoot things and split-second timing is just great.  A lot of the story is told without a single word of spoken dialogue, including character development.  Gustav’s assistant in-particular gets a lot of character across through his actions alone.  In a world of comedic films that are pretty much just improv with scene transitions, it is nice to see a director who knows how to make visual comedy work.  Though I’m not surprised.  After all, this is Wes Anderson.  He knows what he is doing.

So, what doesn’t work?  Well, at times, the randomness of the film works against it.  There are a few scenes which go absolutely nowhere, and while they are fun to watch, you do wonder what we gained from it.  But for every scene that has absolutely nothing to do with anything, you get five more that are just great.  It’s a trade-off.  This movie takes a lot of risks with its randomness, and it’s good to see a director who is willing to do that.

All-in-all, this film is great.  It is like a road trip movie, where you meet a bunch of fascinating characters and see a bunch of strange things.  The characters are memorable, the pace is fun and the comedy is hilarious.  This is one of those rare movies, where you don’t know how to feel, but you honestly don’t care.

Final Verdict
9 out of 10

Peace out,


A 10 Year Old Sex Offender?

A couple years back, I did a post about these two kids who were being charged with crimes and potentially to end up on the sex offender registry.  The first was a boy who punched another boy in the groin, and the dumb-fuck public decided that that was a sex thing.  The second was a six year old boy who was playing “doctor” with a five year old girl.  Something that every kid has done, and this kid was also potentially on the sex offender registry.  It was a depressing example of how terrified the American public is of genitals and sex.  Now, I have another example.

A boy, 10 years old, was busted by the Principal for sending lewd texts to his daughter.  Now, I’m not gonna lie, that’s a little strange.  But, then I remember – some kids develop early.  He might be experiencing odd thoughts about sexuality.  There could be any number of instances that led to what happened.  But the reaction to all of this was just amazing.

The father of the boy became totally mortified, and where some people might try to keep this private, maybe talking to their child or discussing with a shrink or something, this guy decided to go to the news and make this whole affair a REALLY public issue, talking about how he is so mortified, feels guilty (even though nothing was truly done wrong.  Like we said, we don’t know the story.  There could be any number of things that led to this.  A child having confused sexual feelings is not unheard of.  I know that this is kind of weird, but we don’t know all the facts) and has basically sent this kid through the ringer.  For real, not only did the Dad paint the scarlet letter on his son, but so has pretty much everyone else.

In addition to the family of the girl, who has pressed charges, the reporter in this article couldn’t have used a more demonizing tone if she tried.  For real, that was almost impressive.  It’s like the reporter thought that this kid was so disgusting.  I guess objective journalism means nothing to her.  No surprise.  All news is now pandering to some person or another.  That’s just the nature of the beast, nowadays.  The dad says that he blames himself, but his statement still put a lot on his kid.  For all the talk of “having his back,” this sure sounded like he wanted to make an example of his son.

Look, I’m gonna level with you all here – this is nuts.  This kid could end up on the sex offender registry too.  Why is America so afraid to talk about sex?  Why is America so afraid of human sexuality?  Kids can end up confused about all sorts of stuff.  Instead of making them go to all these programs and get made into a pariah, how about we sit down and talk to kids?  It’s okay to accept that there are children who start having thoughts and don’t know what they mean.  It’s a confusing topic.

What’s more, this kid doesn’t need society writing him off as some kind of pervert.  I mean, it just really bugged me how accusatory the tone of that reporter is.  Granted, it is a Fox News outlet, but still.  Even the guy introducing the story was all, “can you believe this?  A 10 year old boy?!”

As proof that I know what I’m talking about, I actually got to hear about this when I was 10.  There was a boy who was caught kissing a girl on the playground during recess.  Apparently, he credited doing this with watching Jerry Springer.  Is he even around, anymore?  Those were the days.  In any case, it happens.  Kids can experience feelings that they don’t get, have no input on it and act out, based on what they know.  It happens, and that’s why you talk to children.  Or, if you’re a fucking idiot, get someone who isn’t to talk to your kid.  You don’t have to make this a public issue.

The bottom line is – instead of being terrified of genitals, how’s about America grows up and leaves the third grade?

Until next time, a quote,

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”  – George Carlin

Peace out,