Okay, I’ve finally seen it all. This is it. This is the crème de la crème of stupidity. For real, it doesn’t get any dumber than this. The moment that I heard about this, I thought that this had to be a joke. I mean, come on, nobody is this stupid, right? It can’t possibly be done. This has to be some kind of parody. I mean, we all knew that Rush Limbaugh has no sense of humor, but maybe he found one for this! Maybe it’s possible for Rush Limbaugh to actually have a bit of amusement at something. But nope, this is for real.
What you are about to read, is by far the dumbest thing that you have ever heard in your entire life. Here’s a link to it, so you can listen for yourself. I, I can’t wait, so let’s just get going. This is awesome. Fantastically, amazingly, stupidly the most awesome thing that you will ever hear.
Have you heard, this new movie, the Batman movie — what is it, the Dark Knight Lights Up or something?
Well, you already demonstrated that you can’t follow pop culture, yet you are about to comment on it. This is going to be rich.
Whatever the name of it is. That’s right, Dark Knight Rises, Lights Up, same thing.
I can tell that this is going to be some biting insight, can’t you?
Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in the Dark Knight Rises is named Bane. B-A-N-E.
Well, Rush, we’ve established that you can spell. That’s a step in the right direction. So, what about this villain? I’m sure that you have figured out something very important that the rest of us need to hear.
What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran, and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy? Bain.
Uh, there is a real controversy about Bain Capital, because Romney bought that company, liquidated all of the assets, fired all of the employees, and cashed in on destroying this business. So tell me, Rush, how is the name of a company that is a perfect example of why Romney shouldn’t be allowed to run this country, is connected to this latest film by Chris Nolan. I’m sure that this is going to be very insightful.
The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental, that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane?
What the hell? Okay, Rush, explain this to me. So, A character, from Batman, who has existed since 1993, when a Democrat named Bill Clinton was in office, and a storyline from the comics that existed long before this film, and they finished production of this film long before Mitt Romney finally won the nomination, is being used as part of an attack against him?
And by the way – did you do any research at all?! Of course not. That would require you getting off your ass long enough to actually look at a computer for something other than porn. Bane isn’t a fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain. He is a very badass character, who never really had a huge amount of personality to him. He was cool in The Animated Series, but he wasn’t like the Joker or many of the others, who had a lot of humanity to him. He was just a garden-variety badass ass-kicker. So you don’t get this insult right. But let’s continue.
Anyway, so this evil villain in the new Batman movie is named Bane. And there’s now discussion out there as to whether or not this was purposeful, and whether or not it will influence voters.
And people wonder why the rest of the Western World looks on America like we are a bunch of retards. It’s shit like this! This is the dumbest thing that I have ever heard. Yes, a villain in a Batman film, who isn’t the least bit political, but more social, and not to mention an ass-kicker, is somehow going to influence voters.
Hey Rush, I don’t know if you got the memo, but the bulk of the American public is really stupid! The bulk of the people who will watch this film have never seen the inside of a voting booth before, and after they see it, they probably never will again. Or if they do, they won’t have ever heard of Bain Capital, and if they are voting for Mitt Romney, or if they vote Republican, will never have cared. This is because America is filled with fucking morons who can’t find their own asses with two hands and a road map. So if there is a legitimate debate going on about this (which I don’t take seriously because, as I have shown in previous posts, Limbaugh isn’t above lying outright to get a reaction), then the people having that debate couldn’t possibly be stupider.
It’s going to have a lot of people. This movie, the audience is going to be huge, lot of people are going to see the movie. And it’s a lot of brain-dead people, entertainment, the pop culture crowd. And they’re going to hear “Bane” in the movie, and they are going to associate Bain.
Unbelievable! You just identified the fact that a lot of Americans are stupid, yet you honestly think that these people are going to care about politics, and even know what Bain Capital really is?! Are you fucking kidding me?!?! That is the DUMBEST thing that I have ever heard! For real, it doesn’t get any stupider! Wait, this is Rush Limbaugh, and we’re not done.
And the thought is that when they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year, and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, not Bain Capital, but Bain, Romney and Bain, that these people will think back to the Batman movie –“Oh yeah, I know who that is.”
If you have a feeling that something isn’t right, hold on to that. That is your brain telling you to run away, because it is going to explode.
There are some people who think it will work. There are some people think it will work. Others think — “You’re really underestimating the American people who think that will work.”
Okay, either Rush Limbaugh either had an alcoholic’s Moment of Clarity (or in his case, a drug addict’s), or you just identified why you are the stupidest person that has ever greeted public airwaves. I’m going to let the public decide.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why the rest of the world looks at America like we are retarded. Because of this imbecile. Take it for what it’s worth.
Until next time, a quote,
“Why so serious?” -The Joker, The Dark Knight
Peace out,
Maverick