So People Getting Excited for Things is Bad Now? (A response to Nathan Grayson)

We are now four days out (still not believing it until the game drops) from the release of what is almost certainly going to be the biggest gaming experience of a generation – Cyberpunk 2077. Everything we have seen of this game, so many in-depth trailers about the city, the gangs, the lifepaths, the combat system, getting to see a bit into the RPG mechanics, and knowing how much is still left to find from people who have gotten their hands on the game and gotten to play it themselves, this game is looking to be quite exceptional. It will most assuredly have faults. No game is without them. All games have something that is more or less amazing than than other things. But games that are exceptional beyond the pale, where their successes outweigh the failures, those are the games that become timeless.

However, such sentiment is not shared by the whiny, bitchy “journalists” at sites like Kotaku, who have to make a big point about how the game is going to suck because people are hyped for it and how sick they are of the hype for it. These people remind me of the people who say things like, “I liked the band before they went mainstream. Now it’s all so corporate.” Granted, that has happened to a few bands, but there’s this pretentious way of saying it where you realize that the people saying this shit are the most pretentious douchebags who have ever lived. And what do you know, it’s Nathan Grayson! The dude whose claim to fame was saying nice things about a woman who he was laying pipe with in articles for his publication, without disclosing that he was laying pipe with her. Here’s a link to the article, now let’s get started.

In less than one week, everybody in cyberpunk future year 2020 will be playing Cyberpunk 2077. Or at least, that’s the impression I get, based on the fact that it’s all anybody is talking about. Such is the nature of the hype surrounding the robo-armed role-playing sensation: Hardly anybody has played it yet, but they’re certain that it’s going to be a life-changing experience.

Gross hyperbole much?  I can’t say no one thinks that, because if I’ve learned anything on the interwebs, it’s that there are some bonkers people who think all kinds of bonkers shit, but the vast majority of people don’t think this game is going to be a transcendent experience that makes us different people.  We just think this is going to be an exceptional experience the likes of which come very rarely in any console generation.  Few games reach that height, and the ones that do   Being a landmark title in gaming is one hell of an accomplishment.  Just ask Neil Druckmann.  He went from making a game that was one such thing, then making a sequel that he was dead certain would be another, but fell so horribly short due to his own hubris and belief that he had made something so thematically brilliant that no one would understand his genius. 

People are excited for this game because it is coming to us from a studio that proved itself with another landmark title of this generation.  A game that had a sublime story, sublime characters, a rich and engaging universe, and attention to detail that is quite literally second to none, being released from a studio who has a pedigree for refusing to release games until they measure up to their seal of quality.  The marketing for this game has shown how hard CDPR has worked into making this game’s world come alive, so people are excited to get to partake of it.  The hype for this game is rational, not insane hyperbole like you’re saying.

Remember EA’s Dante’s Inferno? How about that weird Ubisoft shooter, Haze? And of course, who could forget Homefront, aside from everyone? Not us!

Aye, three games that came from three lackluster studios who already have a reputation for creating for mediocre games.  EA especially, who was responsible for two out of three of those listed.  The problem with all three games isn’t the marketing that went into it exclusively, but more the fact that the marketing and what the final product they created was diametrically opposed.  All three of these games were hyped to be one thing, but turns out to be a mediocre version of what already existed.  Hence why they failed.  Word of mouth and dismal reviews killed them.  Meanwhile, Cyberpunk 2077 is getting glowing marks and also some criticism of things that could be better from people who have gotten to play demos and vertical slices of the game.  Plus, it’s coming from a studio with a pedigree of perfectionism.  That also gives people hope for it.

Lastly, we ride that energy right off a cliff, into the land where dimly remembered marketing disasters dwell. Who thought that promoting Homefront by releasing hundreds of red balloons over San Francisco, essentially showering an eco-conscious city in garbage, was a good idea? And how about that one Sony PSP ad that, back in 2006, people thought was pretty racist and is, in hindsight, incredibly “How did literally even a single person greenlight that” racist?

Wow.  What a stupid argument.  Yeah, Homefront had a stupid marketing campaign.  Except here’s the difference – the marketing of Cyberpunk 2077 has been almost exclusively footage of the game itself.  There have been very few pre-rendered cutscene trailers made exclusively for marketing purposes.  CDPR wisely wants people to get into the game itself.  This kind of marketing has been very popular in recent years, and for the better.  It’s part of why Ghost of Tsushima was such a smash success.  A couple fantastic gameplay breakdowns gave everyone a brilliant look at what the game entailed, and the hype train was through the roof.  Game companies are learning now that the best way to get people to believe in what your game will be is by showing the game itself, in as much detail as possible, so people won’t be rolling their eyes.  You conflating these things is stupid.  But then, you write for Kotaku.  I expect little else.

But as time went on, everything came out about CD Projekt Red saying, “We’re not going to crunch, but oh actually, we’ve been crunching this entire time,” and they kind of fumbled that message around “Are they crunching, or are they not crunching” and then “Actually, crunch is good because we’re paying everybody; sorry to your spouses and kids you’ll never see again.” It’s just, like, I don’t care anymore, guys.

Wow.  Just, wow.  Okay, so because CDPR was the victim of a situation which the entire world has been facing a massive global pandemic and they are doing the best they can to finish a game that nobody can argue is not ambitious in the extreme, you now don’t care about the game anymore.  Well clutch at your pearls some more, you fucking loser.  I’m glad you don’t care anymore.  No joke, good riddance.  Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

And then there’s the whole issue of attendant fanboys around it, where if you say one negative thing about it, they’ll come with pitchforks and try to burn your house down. It just turns me off the entire thing. I’m so sick of it. I’m really sick of it!

Citation needed, honey boo-boo.

Ash: Because this is gonna be our lives now, for at least the next month. I mean, even though we’re not the people who are working on it, we’ll be working on it. It’s still gonna be something that’s just gonna absorb all of our working lives because it’s the thing everybody’s gonna click on and want to talk about.

Um, sweetie, nobody’s forcing you to play this game if you don’t want to.  I hope you don’t.  If this game looks like such a piece of shit or so not what you personally want, then don’t play it.  Play something else.  Do something else.  Read a book.  Watch a movie.  I’d say go for a walk, but quarantine because of this global pandemic.  Go for a walk that’s socially distancing.  Engage in a vast plethora of other things you can be doing.  You are under no obligation to play this game or take part in any of the media associated with it.  No one is forcing a gun to your head to do so. 

Nathan: I think it’s important to dig into how we got here, how Cyberpunk arrived at this point. Because on paper, it doesn’t seem like the kind of game, necessarily, that has previously garnered this kind of hype. While it shares some qualities with those sorts of games, just look at, like, the Deus Ex reboots. Even they didn’t command this level of unbridled, feral fervor. I’ve been trying to pin down exactly what turned this game into a full-blown sensation, and it’s hard.

Well, Nathan, you’re pretty stupid, so I’m not surprised that you couldn’t figure out what was exciting people about this game.  It’s like this – CD Projekt Red has gotten a reputation for creating rich worlds, engaging gameplay, good characters, fantastic writing, and not releasing games until they meet their level of acceptability.  Their pro-consumed attitude has garnered them a great deal of respect from the gaming public at large.  This isn’t rocket science, you dunce.

One big thing that we were actually talking about among Kotaku staff in general the other day was that the game was announced almost a decade ago. It’s weird to think about, but the first time we saw it in any form was a cinematic trailer in 2013, but even before that, CD Projekt announced it in 2012. The trailer was pretty controversial at the time, because it featured a scantily clad woman cyborg fighting cops—perhaps even more charged imagery in this day and age than it was back then. But even at the time, the discussion around sexism in games was at a fever pitch, and the trailer wound up getting a lot of attention, in part, because of that zeitgeist.

You have a real gift at looking right at the forest and the trees just not existing to your vision.  It’s quite something.  It really is.  The ultimate nonsequitor.  Nobody cared about the scantily clad woman being scantily clad.  It was the fact that it was a crazy sequence, with a woman with mantis blade arms.  See, the average person doesn’t have your social justice bullshit reaction to things.  Instead, we have normal reactions of “wow, that’s pretty crazy.  I wonder what the deal is with this.  What game is this a part of?”  I admit I was not hooked myself at that point, but that’s because there were other games in 2012 that I was much more interested in.  This game caught me later on with the 48-minute gameplay trailer that showed off the content.  Same with all the others.

But that wasn’t the moment Cyberpunk 2077 took off. Back then, The Witcher 3 wasn’t even out yet. There was a small contingent of people who really loved CD Projekt, but it wasn’t like it is now. So I think the main factors that kind of coalesced into this perfect storm were The Witcher 3 coming out and CD Projekt becoming this, like, “gamer’s developer” that doesn’t do microtransactions and releases 30-hour-long DLC episodes and is attached to a DRM-free store in GOG—all of which resulted in this “can do no wrong” reputation.

Oh wow, you do pay attention!  Well, you impressed me once.  I get the feeling it won’t happen again.

hen, on top of that, we got the Keanu Reeves moment, which was just perfect timing. I don’t think CD Projekt knew it was going to happen. I think they just had Keanu Reeves attached, and right as his star was rising again, he had that super viral, zeitgeist-y “You’re breathtaking” moment at E3. And that was it. That was the spark that just blew up the whole powder keg.

Nope, wrong again.  It really was the 48-minute long demo that they released.  That’s what got EVERYONE talking.  Don’t get me wrong, the Keanu Reeves E3 moment was incredible.  Everyone was on their feet in amazement.  But that was coming out right as the hype train was looking to get more steam.  It was already going, and everyone was hoping for another gameplay demo.  Instead, CDPR decided to play it close to the vest.  It was brilliant.  Gameplay demos are what has fostered ALL of the hype for this game.  People want to see what the game will look like when it’s in their hands.  It was a big moment for CDPR, but the “You’re breathtaking” moment was just part of an already moving hype train.

Fahey: From there on out, everything has been yellow, with that Cyberpunk logo, and it’s making me vomit. I’m so tired of seeing the yellow Cyberpunk thing. I got swept up in the Keanu craze. I was excited about him. He is, as Ash said, nice to look at.

Oh boo fucking hoo.  Same as with the other whiner, if you are so tired of it, engage in some other activity.  I can think of dozens of them off the top of my head.  Learn to juggle.  Ride a horse.  Look at your Christmas tree, if you have one up.  Read a lovely book with tea.  Sing sea shanties.  Dance around in clogs and annoy your neighbors downstairs.  Lots of things you could be doing that don’t involve you seeing the yellow of Cyberpunk 2077

Nathan: That unto itself is really interesting too, right? He’s not who you’d commonly associate with a big action video game. So on one hand, you have this big action game that, I think, based on what’s been shown so far, feels a little typical.

A little typical?  How is this game feeling typical?  A unique and vibrant setting with lots of different groups in play?  Tons of unique characters who you get to know and interact with.  Narrative decisions that affect how a situation will play out?  I mean, have you watched the very recent stuff, showing how you have conversations with people?  Or maybe the lifepaths or gang trailers showing how your character and how you start will affect relationships and who the major players are in Night City?  Yeah, it looks so typical.  A game where you can foster relationships, make friends, make enemies, and forge a very poignant or violent relationship with the character of Johnny Silverhand.  That looks typical?  In comparison to what?  What are we comparing this to?  What about this game looks like any other game that you’ve played recently?  I’m all ears, Nathan.

But anyway, I do think there are a lot of little subtle things that CD Projekt has done to court hype in ways that have been both good for them and damaging for everybody’s sanity. I think they knew pretty quickly that they had a game that could be massive on their hands, so they started doing all these events and things. They have their ongoing Night City Wire series, which is basically a long infomercial on Twitch, and they have cosplay competitions and stuff like that for this game that is, again, not out yet, which is wild to me. They’ve reached this point where people are on one hand hyped, but on the other, there’s already built-in brand loyalty. They’ve turned being a fan of Cyberpunk into an identity. And that’s where you get, like, people just going insane if anybody says anything potentially negative about the game, or an army of people who want to defend crunch or transphobic tweets, which is, again, just bonkers.

Wow.  Just…wow.  This is so fucking patronizing.  What a way to shit on all the effort that CDPR has gone into to show off their game and all the parts of it that they can to get people excited and show them that they are making something unique and special.  What the fuck with you?  “Oh yeah, that.  Well, I mean, I guess it’s cool and all.”  That’s how that sounds.  What would you rather they do?  Just kick the game out the door and be like, “play it or don’t.  We don’t give a fuck.”  You sanctimonious asshole. 

The fact that we are castigating a company who gets excited about what they make and who works hard to gives fans as much as they can.  I genuinely want to know what this limp-wristed prick would rather they do, because from where I’m sitting, I love that this company has worked so hard to make a game with this level of detail and rich lore.  They made an entire companion book that was both fun to read and goes phenomenally with this game, just to get you up to speed on the world, so you don’t have a ton of questions.  What other company does that?!  They release gameplay trailer after gameplay trailer, all for the purpose of showing a new element of the world they are making, and that’s a bad thing?!  Unbelievable.  I fucking hate this guy.  The level of ego on display here is staggering.  He spits in the face of everyone who is busting their ass for this.  Fuck you, Grayson.

Fahey: I’m someone who played Cyberpunk back in the day—the pen-and-paper role-playing game. And now I’m completely sick of it. I’ve been put off by a thing I love because it’s so in my face at every given time. It used to be a nice little niche thing.

Well then don’t play it, you bourgeois pretentious fucking hipster.  “I used like it before it was the hip thing to like.  Now it’s too commercial.”  Lemme guess, The Last of Us: Part II is an insurmountable masterpiece while Ghost of Tsushima is just a bad Assassin’s Creed knockoff.  Oh, and I bet you think that Gone Home was perfect and all the haters just don’t like LGBT people, right?  I can just hear all the dripping superiority with everything this Fahey asshole has said, and I know for a fact that there is nothing even remotely likeable about them.

The thing that kills me about stuff like this is how much CDPR has busted their ass, only to get talked down to in the extreme by a bunch of finger-out tea drinking egotists who must smell their own farts as if it is the greatest scent ever perceived by man.  I hate people like this.  It’s exhausting.  I wanna punch them.  Hopefully none of them plays this “typical” and formerly “little niche thing.”  I wouldn’t want them to be inconvenienced by something that doesn’t measure up to what I am sure are their very high and very sophisticated standards.

Until next time, a quote,

“You’re a dick, you know that?”
“And you’re a cunt.  Maybe we’ll get along after all.” – Johnny Silverhand, Cyberpunk 2077

Peace out,

Maverick

Your Lies Get You a Movie? Seriously?! (A response to Zoe Quinn)

I’ve long since concluded that Disney is an evil monster that fucks with the things I love, ever since they decided to turn a film that I love into a piece of shit Kinect game.  But the truth is that as evil as Disney is, at least they are pretty open about it.  Sure, they project this family-friendly image, but we all know the truth, don’t we?  Disney is a bunch of evil fuckers, hell-bent on making as much money as is humanly possible.  The new Avengers made over $1 billion, worldwide, and they still consider it a financial failure.  Yeah, they are REALLY fucking evil.  But the truth is that the rest of Hollywood isn’t that far behind.  They hide their evil in various ways, but they are all a bunch of greedy money-grubbing corporations that don’t care if they are telling the truth or not, or if they are exploiting lies for money.  It’s all the same to them.

Something you should learn going through life is that being a liar and a cheat is not only possible in the 21st century, it’s financially lucrative.  Especially if you are a woman who has the term “feminist” associated with you.  If you can call yourself a feminist, in PC culture and corporate elitist Hollywood (and let’s face it, you don’t see a lot of poor urban women associated with modern First World problems feminism, do you?  It’s classist as fuck), then you are set.  Nowhere is this more exemplified than with Zoe Quinn.

This woman turned her lies and professional victimhood into a trip to the UN, to tell people who have financially supported dictatorial regimes in the past that the mean things said to her online are equal to a woman getting physically assaulted or raped.  She actually believes this.  I don’t believe that her little chum Sarkeesian buys it for a moment, but she is a real believer.  This woman has exploited so many opportunities to get her message out there.  The message being – I’m a victim!  Feel bad for me!

For those who don’t know, Zoe Quinn was a “game” developer, who made a choose-your-own-adventure text-based “game” about being depressed.  That was her claim to fame.  However, when her ex-boyfriend Eron decided to put out a blog post about why he dumped her dumb ass, he laid out that she had been cheating on him.  With five guys.  Now, nobody involved in what happened next cared about the fact that she was cheating on him.  It wasn’t the fact that she was sleeping around.  It was who she was sleeping around with.  One person was her boss (and married), and two more were game journalists.  One of which was Nathan Grayson, who they claim we totally mischaracterized because we said that he did a review of her game.  No, he didn’t.  Though, funny thing – he’s listed in the credits of her game.  Huh.  That’s interesting.  Grayson did, however, give her positive coverage on more than one occasion.  Like when she was responsible for destroying a group’s Game Jam.  Though he wasn’t so quick to defend her when she went after the Fine Young Capitalists.

When word got out about what Quinn had done, a lot of people had some thoughts.  Thoughts like – really, Kotaku?  You’re just letting one of your writers give positive coverage to someone he’s fucking?  That’s interesting.  This blog post, and the response behind it was the driving force behind what has become known as GamerGate.  Well, it was really when a YouTuber named Mundane Matt made a video about it, and the video got taken down.  Then the run on the games journalist machine was on.

Something that you would notice about what I’ve just said – I got away from Zoe Quinn fairly quickly, didn’t I?  It’s true.  So did everyone else.  Nobody cared about her.  At all.  She was a catalyst.  And because she has so little legit talent, we all just forgot that she exists.  We moved on to the more meaty things.  But poor little Quinn, not wanting her 15 minutes to end, went to every single outlet that she could bribe, exploit, or use her personal connections to get, so everyone would know that she’s the victim.  Of not being noticed.  Oh, I’m sorry – of harassment.  My bad.  Because everyone cares about her SO much, right?  Like how she was driven out of her home last year…during the time that she had already planned to be taking a vacation to Europe.  Convenient!  Another one-hit wonder who won’t go quietly into the night of Internet obscurity where she belongs.

Now, it seems that she has actually gotten people in Hollywood to take her bullshit seriously.  In an article from an unfathomably-biased source (linked here), they talk about how Quinn has a memoir of her “experiences” written, that someone named Amy Pascal won.  And it seems that she is getting a movie made, based on it as well.  Because what she went through is SO worthy of a film, right?  And, naturally, the company making this film is some Indie, hipster production company.  Of course.  Any major production company would laugh this lying bitch offstage, because the simple reality is that checking her facts can be done in one google search.  Like this lovely tidbit (linked here).

Nepotism and Hollywood have been bedfellows for a LONG time.  It’s the reason that M. Night Shits Upon still gets money to make movies.  By the way – fuck The Visit!  That movie is NOT some return to form for him!  Why do people keep being nice to it?  Is it because it isn’t as bad as films like The Happening?  Fuck me.  Anyway, it doesn’t surprise me that some pathetic SJW studio is making a movie about some pathetic SJW victim.  I’m amazed that Anita Sarkeesian hasn’t gotten a film made about her yet.  But this is another sign of why Hollywood is so fucking broken.  I wonder who is going to star in this hunk of shit.  Hopefully it will be as enjoyably bad as that Law and Order: Stupid Voters Unit episode “Intimidation Game.”  But I somehow doubt it.

In closing – Quinn, your 15 minutes are whimpering on, wishing that you would just stop.  Please, for the love of Groj, just stop.  Just fucking stop.  You don’t make yourself look better.  You make the bullshit you fought for look worse.

Until next time, a quote,

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”  – Mark Twain

Peace out,

Maverick