Junkyard Prophet = Stupid. REALLY Stupid!

In the world of Christian insanity, there are sometimes things that you see that defy comprehension.  I am dead serious.  The video that I have seen just now has got to be the stupidest, most non-sensical, and absolutely ridiculous video that has ever graced the internet.  And you know what – it is so dumb that I can’t even laugh at it.  For real, this is so stupid that it actually defies my amusement.

You see, normally, with these kinds of posts, like when I am pwning Real Catholic TV or Life Site News, I am pretty liberal with my use of foul-language, and therefore is a lot of fun.  But with this, honestly, it’s not too incredibly offensive, and not too hardcore.  This is just…boring.  So why am I going to be talking about it?  Because I am scouring the internet right now and still finding comments about how much Christians think that this guy is speaking to them.  But again, it’s boring, and the really interesting part – it has NO flow whatsoever!  This guy (Bradlee Dean), is just talking about random stuff, and trying to make it sound like it has some merit.  In any case, here is the video, and let’s get started.

Let’s talk about moral standards for a second.

Alright Brad, you’ve got me here.  What about moral standards?

Anybody heard of him (Elton John)?  How many of you guys have his albums?  Besides the teachers.

Zing! (I don’t care if it sounds petty. That was a bad joke, and almost nobody laughed)

No, Elton John sings for Disney movies.  Okay?  They use him on a lot of their soundtracks.  How many of you guys have seen The Lion King?  That’s what I thought.  So you know about Elton John!  Remember the song that he sang on there?  This is his moral standard, for little kids.  Now, again, this is an influencer of kids.

A line like that, you KNOW that what comes next has to be stupid!  It’s like a requirement of Christian fundamentalism.

‘I crave to be loved, there’s nothing wrong with going to be with someone of your own sex.  I think people should be very free with sex.  They should draw the line at goats.’

That is a direct quote from Elton John.  Just thought I should clarify that.

So, his moral standard says “don’t do goats!”  That’s where you stop, right there.  Is that a good moral standard?

Not really.  If we are going to slaughter and eat animals, I really don’t think we can draw the line at fucking them.

 Would you allow your son or daughter to spend the night Elton’s house?

So, was that attack about Elton John being gay, or about goat-fucking?  Either way, it’s really dumb.  This guy has literally no presence, no charisma, and his arguments are literally so boring that the fact that this was said to a bunch of kids in a school assembly doesn’t even bug me that much.  I bet most kids were as bored by this randomness as I am.

‘Photograph my mind and whatever else you like.’  She does a pornographic film shoot.

He is, of course, moving on to talking about Lady Gaga.  And like any good Christian fundie, he’s against porn.  Because, you know, it causes masturbation.

‘I’m beautiful in my own way because God makes no mistakes.’  I want you to listen to this song, because, you know, 10, 15 years ago, this wasn’t pushed on you 24/7.  But now it is.

Yes, people are pushing acceptance.  What criminals!  Those bastards!  They are teaching kids that being different is okay!  Oh, the world is going to END!!

Through pop culture, they do it through media.  How many of you guys believe the media in here?

Did you see that?  He literally makes a transition without having said anything.  Throughout this entire video, Brad doesn’t even try to make a cogent point.  This is…boring!

You know, you’re like – ‘it’s in the paper, it’s gotta be true?’  I’m not talking about the price of feed and all that.

Yes, because so many school-kids are checking the paper for the price of feed.  Stupidity that defies comprehension!

I’m talking about pop culture media.  It’s gotta be true.  This is what they’re pushing!

Finally, he’s actually articulating, and defending something!  Were it not something so stupid, I might have two ounces of respect for the guy.

‘No matter gay, straight or bi.  Lesbian, transgender life.  No matter black, white or beige. color or orient-made, I’m on the right track, baby.  I was born this way.’

Lyrics we all recognize, but listen where he goes next!

What she’s saying is (I’m glad he’s here to tell us), if you’re black, it’s the same thing as being gay.

Gee, that’s funny because it is.  Both of these things are things that you are born with.  But it only gets stupider.

Sexual deviancy is the same thing as taking somebody’s skin, that they have no choice when they’re born.

You know kid, complete sentences would really help.

You’re born as a product of your parents.  But your actions, listen to this, your actions.  You can be judged and you do have control over it.

Yet-again, complete sentences.  And I love how this is another of those Christians who peddles the message – you might be born gay, but you don’t have to have gay sex.  You know, if being gay is a choice, why don’t all these anti-abortion women choose to be lesbian?  I guarantee that you probably won’t be getting one then, unless you’re raped.  But hey, in that instance, you can practice what you preach, and have your rapist’s baby!

You control what you do with it, your life.  You can’t control how you’re born.  But yet she would have it both the same way.

Well gee, that’s because you can’t help it, you are born gay.  I guess that’s hard for the Christians to figure out.

Did you know in our country, you know this puzzles me, because we are always talking about love, and all these musicians, oh boy they talk about love.

The longest and most pointless no-subject sentence that I have ever seen!  I love how terrible of a public speaker this guy is!  This was clearly just a rant he wanted to go on.  I want to hate this so much, but honestly, I am loving the lack of creativity or intelligence that has gone into it.  Its stupidity transcends how bigoted and boring it is.

Cause they’re in love!  And it’s a different guy every video.  And the guys are so in love.  They’ve got six half-naked women around them and they’re in love.  That’s not love!

I love you, man, and how you have absolutely no public speaking talent, whatsoever.  Clearly he hasn’t seen any of the latest musicians who talk about love’s latest music videos.  Back when it was the real love musicians, like Kurt Cobain, John Lennon, Jim Morrison, and guys like that, they were talking about real love, and they didn’t have six half-naked women around them.  And neither do any of the pussi-fied musicians who sing about it these days.  Rap artists usually do, but they aren’t singing about love, they are singing about sex.  So again, this has been – another Pointless Moment.

Love stops destruction in somebody’s life.

Apparently, you’ve also never listened to Kurt Cobain or John Lennon.  Love does cause destruction in one’s life.  If love has never hurt you, you’ve never loved.  Fact.

 Love says stop!

Stop what?!  Talk about something!  I’m now getting annoyed because you have made no points and said nothing this entire time, with a lot of words.

Everybody’s talking about love.  Did you know the average age of death of a homosexual male is 42 years old?

What?!  What was the transition?  Transitions are your friend!  They are so the audience doesn’t get lost!  Learn something!

Yeah, his actions literally kill him!

For the record, I looked it up, and the average age of death for a gay man is 5 to 21 years less than straight men, but according to Oxford, that is indicitive of NOTHING!  So, Brad, you clearly can’t do research.

And he lives about half his life out.

Doing WHAT?!  EXPLAIN!!

 So do you think it’d be love to say – hey, yo (because that’s such a big word nowadays), stop that!

STOP WHAT?!

Do you think it’s love to tell young ladies in school – don’t go out and have sex with just anybody, you could catch a disease, same as guys.

Oh thank non-existent god, he made a point.  I was about to go insane.

You could get pregnant outside of marriage.

I could talk about how abstinence-only education doesn’t work, and never has, but that bush has been beaten to death already.

How many of you are from broken families, your parents have split up or got divorced.  Yeah, now thank god, every single one of you are still here.  Thank god, mommy and daddy chose to keep you.

Oh boy, here we go.  The stupidest comment in the video.  I love this part!

You know why?  Because now you can make a choice to do the right thing, and it ain’t fun, growing up when you don’t know your dad and your mom.

Awwww, and here I thought he was going to make an abortion quip.  You can get your refunds at the door.

Growing up with your parents fighting all the time.  Is that fun?  Is that love – to tell this generation that, don’t even worry about it.

Nope, there was the stupidest comment of the video.  The whole point, dumbass, is that we do tell kids to worry about it, and with that in mind, we tell them that they need to protect themselves.  That’s why we teach them about safe sex.  But I guess that’s just WAY over your level of education.

No, love warns, up until 1961, it was illegal in all 50 states.

What was?  We’re back to your total lack of ability to explain anything.

We protected that institution.

Okay, I think he’s talking about marriage.  Getting so tired of this guy.

And teachers, they talk about sex all the time.  On television. That’s why we bring the topic up.  It’s important to undertand where love, and it’s guidelines and its boundaries are.

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!  Stop right there!  If the next sentence doesn’t have a quote by William Shakespeare or John Lennon, you can GTFO from life, because you are about to say the stupidest thing ever.

In 1998, if you’re in Boston or Rhode Island, you go to prison for 20 years.

For WHAT?!  My god, you are the worst public speaker I have ever heard.  You have explained absolutely nothing.  You are not only the dumbest person that I have seen on the internet, but you are the worst speaker on Earth.  Oh dear non-existent god, you are so stupid.

In 1973, they taught about how homosexuality was a mental illness, now what are they teaching you?

Tolerance.  I know, big Christian buzz-word.  We’ll make sure you don’t have to hear it again.  This is proof of why not only is Christianity stupid, but Christian rock is the worst.  Bradlee Dean is the worst public speaker on Earth.  See the video for yourself.  See that I am not taking this rat-fuck out of context.  This was so stupid, and please, never let me see it again.

Until next time, a quote,

“When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major-league bullshit, you have to stand in awe, in AWE, of the all-time champion of false-promises and exaggerated claims – religion.  No contest.  No CONTEST!”  –George Carlin

Peace out,

Maverick