Top 10 Villains I’d Like to see in Future Spider-Man Films

I genuinely loved Homecoming.  It was such a different film from the others.  One of the things I loved about it was the fact that the scope was small.  See, Spider-Man isn’t a hero about saving the world, and his villains typically are small-time crooks who are just trying to get by.  Vulture was just trying to get rich by selling weapons from the MCU.  It was a good character and made for a good villain.  Spider-Man has a rich rogue’s gallery to choose from, each with a goal that isn’t big, because he’s a friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man.  Here are the ones that I’d like to see most in upcoming films.

10. Scorpion
While the look of this guy may be ridiculous, he’s a quirky and fun villain.  This guy is as big a thug for hire as it gets.  He only does work for other villains.  Despite his suit with the deadly tail, it’s all just about getting a paycheck for him.  Not seeing him as a central villain in a film, but he’d be a nice thug that the big bad sends at the wall-crawler.  Would make for some fun fights.  Brings back memories of seeing this guy in Spider-Man: The Animated Series.  Was always something of a comic foil to the bug, but he serves his purpose.

9. Rhino (done right)
Let’s not even talk about Paul Giamatti’s performance in Amazing Spider-Man 2.  That was terrible and cringe-worthy.  Here’s the thing about Rhino – just like Scorpion, he’s a thug for hire in a suit that is equal parts silly and utilitarian.  This guy only works for money, and he’s itching to cause as much destruction as he can in the process.  Also just like the Scorpion, he ends up being a comic foil to the Spider more often than not.  Maybe him and Scorpion could team up?  Just seeing the possibilities.  It’s more a character I want to see just for fan service than anything.  We’ll get to the more substantial villains soon enough.

8. Jack O’Lantern
As I said, to the substantive villains.  Here we have another thug for hire, but this guy is infinitely more malicious.  A former CIA operative, this guy took a look that could be seen as ridiculous and ran with it.  He’s got all kinds of toys to kill with, and a look that is more than a little imposing.  Part of me would love it if this guy was working under someone that we’re going to see much higher on this list.  If I have anyone who actually knows Spider-Man comics, they might see who I mean before I get there.  He may be in it for the cash, but this dude is no joke, and it would be cool to see how they could make him look.  Sure, it’ll be a CG nightmare (genuinely trying to think how this guy could be freaky with practical effects), but it intrigues me all the same.

7. Mysterio
When we talk about the fact that Spider-Man’s villains are small-time, we’re talking about this guy.  A villain who is completely devoid of superpowers in any capacity.  This guy is all about using tricks and manipulation to get what he wants.  His look is kind of silly, but this dude was a stage magician of the highest order.  But it turns out that that doesn’t pay the bills, so he decided to use the tools of his craft to be a career criminal, and even is able to give the Spider a run for his money.  It would be neat if they could make this guy a somewhat sympathetic villain.  He isn’t evil outright, just dirty.

6. Taskmaster
This guy is kind of a great villain that doesn’t get the respect he deserves.  He has a training school where he trains henchmen to hench.  That’s kinda cool.  But the real thing about this guy that he is a badass fighter.  Taskmaster’s trick is that he can remember any move that he has seen in action.  So all he has to do is study his opponents and he can learn their entire fighting style inside and out and be virtually untouchable.  What this means is that even the Spider, with his Spider Sense, can’t get around this dude because he knows his moves before he makes them.  In a film, having this guy to head-to-head with the bug sounds like too much fun because it would be like two guys who are completely untouchable to each other fighting.  Would get brutal.  Too bad this guy is just a thug for hire.  Would make a good big bad.

5. Kraven the Hunter
This guy is just awesome.  I genuinely love this character.  He’s a man who has had a very hard life.  It’s led him to become a big game hunter who has a reputation for killing some of the most dangerous game alive.  If this could tie into the MCU, it would be so awesome to see him killing some of the monsters that the Avengers have had to deal with.  But in the comics, he has his sights set on new prey to hunt – Spider-Man.  A real hunt that can test his skill in a way no other one has.  This guy is badass with a capital B.  In the comics, it is shown that he can hold his own with the bug and is a pretty damn smart hunter.  Would be cool if a film could see their cat and mouse game getting really crazy.

4. The Lizard (done right)
We’re not talking about the version from Amazing Spider-Man who is another villain with a split personality and a goal of turning the world into lizard people.  That was stupid with a capital S.  I’m talking about the version from the comics who is kind of like Spider-Man’s version of Two-Face.  He’s a tragic character.  A man who lose his arm and is so desperate to get it back that he goes to stupid lengths and is eventually the victim of his own ambition.  He’s a character that the Spider never wanted to hurt, but he had to protect people, so they ended up on opposite sides.  It would be cool to see a film where they really nail the human element and we get to see Connors grappling with the reality of what he is, while not wanting to give up being given his arm back.  I love this villain, and want to see it done with the respect it deserves.

3. Tombstone
This was the character I was talking about earlier, who I figured Jack O’Lantern would be working for.  Or Scorpion and Rhino, for that matters.  A small-time crook who goes big in the mob.  This guy is dangerous in the extreme, along with tough.  He’s been seen as a threat to the likes of the Kingpin, along with something of an ally due to their mutual dislike of the Spider.  He’s one of the biggest of the Spider’s villains, so it would be nice if we could get some introduction of this dude first.  Like maybe have him be the villain a film or two led up to.  You know, instead of another lead-in to Venom.  Love the character, but we’ve seen him in one terrible film, and we’ll see if we see him in two.  Tombstone is dark, grisly, and has a long list of violent kills on his resume.  Would be eager to see what would happen when the bug is faced with an enemy who is a threat in a way that goes beyond what he has seen.  A psychopath who has no compunction about doing whatever he has to.

2. Beetle
One of the most obscure of the villains on this list, I’ve been wanting to see this guy go head-to-head with the Spider in a game or film for a while.  It is especially would fit in how he ties in to the MCU.  See, this guy is basically like Iron Man, except with a bigger emphasis on killing.  Wouldn’t it be kind of cool to see the Spider having to tackle this guy, with the idea being it’s kind of like facing off with Tony Stark, who is something of a father figure?  There is so much potential.  Not to mention, this guy is a cool villain.  He doesn’t get nearly the respect he deserves, so hopefully we get to see a proper treatment.

And the villain I want to see most is…

1. Black Cat
Since Homecoming decided to make MJ an insufferable character who is pretty much just a Tumblr page, maybe we can finally see these two hit it off.  I always loved this character.  Pretty much just Marvel’s answer to Catwoman, she is still all kinds of fun.  Enhanced by a super soldier serum, the Black Cat is equal parts beautiful, strong, and wanting in Spider-Man’s pants.  Genuinely serious, can we make her a love interest for the titular character since the new film decided to make the character who Parker is supposed to fall for the most terrible and annoying character I have seen in cinema in a long time?  A cat burglar with super strength who is more of an anti-hero than a true villain, we haven’t gotten to see her in any film, so let’s change that.

Until next time, a quote,

“We got something special, can’t you feel it?” – Black Cat, Spider-Man: The Animated Series

Peace out,

Maverick

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Critical Examination: The Real Villains of ‘Beauty and the Beast’

I am of course talking about the animated version, not that live action abortion that showed that not only can Emma Watson not act, but she can’t sing either.  But as I have been chilling with my girly-mate guest, we have shared in one of my favorite pastimes – over-analyzing media that we watch.  In this case, it’s a classic Disney film that a lot of people have already over-analyzed, but I think have all been fooled.  It’s all over the Internet that the Beast is actually a horrible guy, but while he is an abusive monster, he isn’t the real villain of the story.  Nor is Gaston, who is actually the hero of the story.  More about that later.  The true villain of this film is more nefarious than you can possibly imagine.  It’s perhaps one of the darkest secrets in all of Disney, that we shall uncover now.

The True Hero

Cracked already did a video discussing this but the real hero of the story is Gaston.  Which he totally is.  The film tries to play it as he just judges the Beast because of how he looks and that’s wrong, because really the Beast is a good guy underneath it all.  Right?  Wrong!  The Beast is a monster!  His outer image has become his inner one, as he has had years of anger and hatred of the world and himself to turn his psyche into an abusive monster.  Gaston, on the other hand, is not really a bad guy.  Let’s look at some evidence.

The entire village treats Belle like she is a weirdo.  After all, she’s reading books and trying to learn things.  In that time period, for a woman to do such a thing is considered alien and they regard her very negatively.  All with one exception – Gaston.  He treats Belle like she is someone he wants to get to know and care about.  But I hear you say – he comes on WAY too strong and is kind of a dick!  Well, yeah.  But there’s a reason.  For starters, he’s kinda dumb.  But that’s nothing to hold against him.  Him being dumb isn’t his fault.  And the reason he is a dick is because he has an inflated ego.  Why?  Because he is the most valuable member of the community.  He shows that he has a vast amount of animal heads and is a very skilled hunter.  In a time when being able to kill animals and get food is a skill that can sustain a community, it makes sense that he is a celebrity.

But think about this – in the song he sings to himself, Gaston shows that there are a ton of women who are after him, but he makes clear that these are not the women he is interested in.  These hussies are just cheap lays that he gets because he can.  The woman he is actually interested in is the woman that the rest of the village treats as something of a pariah, not only because she isn’t very ladylike for the time, but because her father is kind of insane as well and it has gotten around.  So he is a little dumb and kind of boorish, but he still wants to get to know and seek the hand of a woman that no one else in the community likes.  What’s the problem there?

Why the Beast Isn’t the Villain

We’re building up to the reveal, don’t worry.  The aforementioned video by Cracked said that the Beast is the real bad guy in the film, and while I can see where they are coming from, they didn’t go deep enough in their analysis.  See, here’s the real kicker – the Beast is just a victim of his circumstance.  While he is an abusive monster (and that isn’t going to change with him becoming human again), you can track what got him here.  Years of living as an animal in a home where the only companions he had are people who are terrified of him and whom he has probably killed a few of.  After all, it’s shown that pretty much every inanimate object in the house is one of the servants, and we see Beast’s quarters filled with destroyed stuff.  So was some of that destruction servants who made him upset?  Scary to think about what will happen when the Enchantress’ magic wears off and how many mutilated corpses will be found later.

However, the truth is that of all the characters in the film, the Beast is the one with the least agency.  He is just being strung along by the plot.  Sure, he has a goal of breaking the curse placed on him, but he is just being led along by the real villain of the film.  Some of you may have seen this coming, but it’s even more diabolical than you can possibly imagine.

The Real Villain of the Film Is…

The servants.  That’s right, all the fun servant characters, who you grow to love and think are the best part of the film, are the ones who are secretly manipulating everything behind the scenes.  I can prove it, too.  Let’s get down into this.

Have you ever noticed that the servants don’t age?  The film implies that it has been years, many years, since the Enchantress did her spell.  Yet, the little teacup children are still teacup children.  At the end of the film, when the magic wears off, you see them turn back into children.  The little dog stool creature turns into a dog and it is obvious that it would be old as fuck or dead if it had been aging like a normal dog.  But one character does age in that castle – the Beast.  Beast is aging like a normal person, because even though he looks like a monster he is still flesh and blood.  Which means that his body is growing older.  And it also means that at some point he would die.  You know who wouldn’t die?  The servants.  They are now inanimate objects that only age as their parts decay.  Or if the destruction in Beast’s quarters is to be believed, when they are destroyed.  Which means that some of these now living pieces of furniture could have centuries of life to live.  Doesn’t that sound like a fresh Hell to have to suffer through?  Makes you wonder what such a potential fate would compel one to do, doesn’t it?

The servants talk in the film about how they had nearly given up hope that they would be able to escape that fate.  But then, along comes hope!  A girl who can potentially break this curse and save them from this torture existence of being objects for the rest of their potentially eternal existence.

But I hear your rebuttal – how does that show that they are the villains?  I mean, sure they got a stake in the situation but how do you postulate that they are the bad guys because of it?  I’m glad you asked.  Here’s how I know – because they know what Beast is like.  They are terrified of him.  They know what kind of monster he has become.  And while some of them like the Cogsworth may be delusional enough to buy that he will snap out of it when he turns back into a human, others like Lumiere are nowhere near that naive.  He is clearly the smartest out of them, and he knows the truth about what will happen when the Beast is given back his body.  His physical appearance will change, but his internal violence will be right where is was before.  The only difference is that now Belle will be trapped.  Trapped in a relationship with someone who is still an animal that will likely abuse her, physically and emotionally at the very least, and potentially sexually.  There is no way these servants who have had to suffer through this for years won’t have some idea about what is going to happen once all is said and done.

The thing is – they don’t care.  Why would they?  After all, if you faced the reality of living the rest of your life as a dresser, would you?  Which brings to mind another rebuttal I hear – okay, so Lumiere may be playing things to his own end.  But how do we know the others are in on it?  I have an answer to that too.  When Gaston rallies the town to go and save the woman he has feelings for, and they attack the castle, the furniture fights back.  The bureau actually leaps off a balcony and lands on a guy and crushes him.  You even see his lifeless legs after she smashes him into the floor.  That dude is dead!  She fucking killed him.  And you see the rest of the servants doing real damage to Gaston’s posse.  A threat to their freedom means that they are willing to straight-up murder people in order to ensure success.

Everything that the servants to help foster the relationship between the two of them wasn’t to help the Beast.  It was to help themselves.  When Mrs. Potts was singing that iconic song, in the back of her mind she was thinking – get with her, damn you!  I want to leave this teapot body behind!  Hell, the first thing Lumiere does after he turns back is make out with a maid.  You just know that afterwards he took her to a room and got his dick wet for the first time in who knows how many years.  And I bet you that after they are returned to their bodies, they high-tailed it out of there as fast as their legs would take them.  Given back their ability to live, why would they want to stay and watch the relationship between the two titular characters devolve into a destructive pattern of abuse?

And the best part is – they got away with it!  The servants manipulated the situation to their own ends, and they win.  They got their bodies back and condemned an innocent woman with mental problems to a life of abuse all so they could get their own bodies back.  Scary shit.  But also kind of cool.  Makes me like Lumiere as a character more, really.  From the very beginning when he started to make nice with Belle, he was planning his return to his own body because he knew that this was his last chance.  It was his ultimate gambit, and he got the entire servant body (with the possible exception of Cogsworth who was completely the Beast’s bitch) to assist him to this end.  Hell, Mrs. Potts kinds of hints to it in her part of the song.  She says that she has to make sure everything is perfect in every conceivable way for Belle, because she knows what he does too.

Kind of makes me wish that I could have seen the deleted scenes where Lumiere has the servants gathered and is talking to them about what to do next and how they were planning things.  Am I alone in that?  What do you all think?  Let me know in the Comments

Until next time, a quote,

“But that’s just a theory.  A Film Theory.” – Film Theory

Peace out,

Maverick