The Debate About Sexual Attraction and Transphobia

I love how the Internet just loves to get pissed.  It really does.  The Internet loses its fucking mind every time there is some big thing that they feel they have to get upset about, because they have nothing better to do with their time.  Lately, it’s been Riley J Dennis getting her panties in a bunch because people chose to call out the video that her girlfriend made where she basically says that if you don’t date a trans person who still has the genitals of the sex they were born as, you’re a bigot.

This argument is so dumb for a lot of reasons.  I’ve already talked before in my post about the Fall of Zinnia Jones how this is simply ridiculous.  After all, you’ll like dick if you just give it a try!  What’s what?  That argument sounds just like the ones that straight people said to gay girls?  I know my friend Quinn heard that same argument from the Priest in the church she grew up in when she was younger.  But now we have the regressive left literally taking that EXACT SAME argument and waving it with the banner of it being a good thing.  That just blows my fucking mind.  They’re so desperate to be seen as tolerant that they take the rhetoric of intolerant people and use it as a way of proving how not-intolerant they are.  There’s so much delicious irony.

I am one of the people who says that Riley’s girlfriend was basically making the argument that sexual “preferences” is a choice.  Because you can choose to magically like dick, if you are a girl and don’t.  Just like I can magically choose to like dick on a girl.  Right?  See, here’s something that all these SJW retards don’t want to realize when they make the argument “the last thing I think about is genitals.”  Really?  Then you’ve never have sex.  See, sex is about sexual contact.  To all the SJW guys, here’s a question – you have a girlfriend?  If you get one, and you’re in bed with her, would you wanna suck her cock?  Would you want her fucking you up the ass with it?  Because if she has one, then that’s how sexual contact will go.  You will be fucking her penis.  I wonder if that’s how Steve Shives gets it on.  Maybe he is living proof that you can grow to like it long enough if you take it.

Everyone I see on Twitter and other sites arguing this crap seems to want to totally ignore the fact that if you are making the argument that what you like to feel, sexually, can be changed.  So ladies, you like getting fuck by a big cock?  Great.  These people are telling you that you can not like that, if you just give it a chance.  Do you see how stupid that is?!

It baffles me how we’ve come to this.  Everyone on the far-left is so desperate to not be called a bigot that we’re going to pretend that what you are sexually into can just be fundamentally changed if you just give it enough of a chance.  All the straight guys are gonna magically want to suck cock and all the straight girls are going to want to touch vaginas.  An argument for which there is NO evidence of ANY kind that it is true.  After all, you’re born wanting what you want.  The same argument that the gay community uses equally applies here.

We live in an age where, in order to be seen as “progressive,” there is a fucking purity test.  This bothers me.  This social justice mentality has infected everything.  A lot of people are saying that going after SJWs is tired, but then we see this stupid crap, and I realize that it’s not.  It’s as big now as it has ever been.  And these people don’t see how they’re doing real damage to their own movement.  Because now, instead of wanting to be allies, they’re made to feel guilty about their “preferences.”  Yeah, because what you like to have when you are at the most intimate moments of your life is just something you can choose.  Imbeciles.

I get where all of this is coming from.  For real, I do.  I maintain that I get why Riley said this crap.  It’s because she didn’t want people to be rejected.  Rejection hurts.  But here’s the thing that Riley and all the people who think like her don’t seem to want to accept – rejection is part of life.  Trust me, I’ve gotten a ton of it.  I know what it’s like.  You gotta accept that not everyone is going to be attracted to you.  Some people who see that giant honking Adam’s Apple are going to be put off.  Some people who see that painfully-average penis are going to be put off.  That’s not bigotry.  It’s because they know what they want to have sexual contact with, and that isn’t it.  Hey Riley, would you suck your girlfriend’s cock if she had one?  Would you let her peg you with it?  If that thought provides even a moment’s hesitation for you, then maybe you fucking get it.  And maybe you can see that this isn’t bigotry.  It’s just someone wanting something else in the bedroom than you.  I’m sorry if you or your friends have been hurt before because someone didn’t want you.  But we all have to deal with that.  Saying that a lesbian is a bigot because she doesn’t want a penis inside her is just as disgusting as the aforementioned Priest saying Quinn should just give dick a try and it would grow on her.

I genuinely can’t see the difference between those points of view.

Until next time, a quote,

“I think putting labels on people is just an easy way of marketing something you don’t understand.” – Adam Jones

Peace out,



The Fall of Zinnia Jones

It’s so weird to me being on Facebook and seeing these memories things, where you can see the things you posted years past.  It’s kinda cool in that I can see where my head was at all that time ago, but it is also kind of depressing in that I can see how some avenues of my life have changed in the time that I have been around.  One such area is my watching of the YouTuber Zinnia Jones.

Time was, just like Richard Coughlin and so many other atheist YouTube personalities I watched back before 2011, Zinna Jones was one who I actually found enjoyable.  She made content besmirching religion and the anti-LGBT conservatives in this country.  It was cool stuff.  My favorite was the video she did against ICP that they actually responded to.  That was funny shit!  However, after 2011, when Atheism + reared its ugly head, Zinnia decided to get the SJW bug up her ass.  And from there we see where she has come today.

And where is that?  Let me tell you.  Just recently, Zinnia actually made the contention that photo footage showing Muslims in the Middle East throwing members of the LGBT community off a roof is fake.  That they were committing suicide and that the person who shared it should be ashamed.  When the person who posted that rightfully came back at them with the point that they were being thrown off, she then followed up by saying that the people doing the throwing are trying to stop them from jumping.  The level of how asinine that is just blows my mind.

Hey, Zinnia, maybe that was too subtle for you.  After all, it’s hard to know the context of a photo.  Perhaps we can use video evidence?

Is that a little clearer?  Amidst the charming ditty by Syetenatheist you get to see video evidence of ISIS members throwing LGBT people off roofs.  And if that doesn’t kill them, one clip has members of the crowd rushing in to help finish the job.  Oh, and the video also includes passages from the Quran and Hadith which show that the religion of Islam hates you and what you are.  Much the same way that the religion preaches that women are lesser and that because men are stronger, if their women get uppity they have every right to beat them!  That’s the religion that you and your fellow chucklefucks like Steve Shives defend.  Something that never ceases to blow my mind.

But when she’s not busy defending Islam from us evil culturally-appropriating white people, she is also harassing people in her neck of the woods who don’t agree with her!  Like when Blair White came onto the scene, Zinnia made a video where she publicly denounced her and has gone on Twitter saying that doxing of people like Blair is okay.  Because she is the LGBT equivalent of a race traitor.  The trans version of an Uncle Tom.  It never ceases to amaze.

Oh, and let’s not forget when Zinna came out publicly saying that there needs to be a campaign to ruin Laci Green’s livelihood and life because she decided to actually give the other side of the culture war a chance to have their ideas heard.  Zinnia was so outraged that she was not subtle about wanting to ruin Laci Green’s career and declaring her the feminist equivalent of an Uncle Tom.  I always am amused when these people are so quick to turn on allies like rabid dogs the moment they say anything that violates the Church of Social Justice’s teachings.  That’s right, Zinnia, you are a member of a faith.  Your church has teachings, values, demagogues, Original Sin, and is quick to punish apostasy.  Man, no wonder you defend Islam.  You pretty much have the same ideology in some ways.  I think SyeTenAtheist made a video about that too.

Just today, however, the thing that Zinnia said that took the absolute cake came to me.  I’m going to show you the screen-cap, because this blows my fucking mind.  In one statement, the bitter hypocrisy of her and hers is laid bare for everyone to see.  To the point that they spit in the face of their own values system.  It’s pretty incredible stuff.

Let me get this straight, Zinnia (pun intended) – you want to tell people who are not attracted to a certain physical gender that they need to have their orientation changed?  Did I get that right?  Because if so, holy shit, woman!  Did you just tell someone that their sexuality isn’t something they’re born with, but instead a choice?!  It sure as hell looks like that from where I’m sitting.  This is the EXACT same thing as a person saying that a lesbian will like dick if they just try it.  There’s no difference.

When idiots like Riley Dennis say this kind of crap, I get the feeling that it comes from a place of not wanting to have people hurt by being rejected, sexually.  But not you, Zinnia.  You believe this shit.  On some level, you actually buy into the idea that the sexual preferences of people are not something they are born with.  It’s something that can be changed.  But only in respect to straight men.  Why do you believe this?  What informs this knowledge?  After all, all the evidence that exists holds that the sexual preferences and orientation of an individual are ingrained.  You can no more be attracted to what I am attracted to anymore than I can become attracted to all the things you are.  It’s part of who we are.  If all the scientific evidence spits in the face or your point of view, then where exactly does this values system you have come from?

That’s easy – your religion.  Your church espouses this view.  And just like the conservatives you used to mock or the Muslims that you go out of your way to defend, your faith is blind.  The leaders of your church tell you how to think.  Even when it spits in the face of reality, that’s no problem.  Your church will tell you why this view is correct, and without questioning it even a little, you will accept the teachings of your church.  It’s amazing, really.

Zinnia’s fall is not in the fact that her content became terrible, though it did do just that.  It’s not the fact that she has become a champion of doxing and harassing and ruining other people’s lives in order to spread her church’s message, though that is bad too.  Her fall is when she went from an atheist who thinks critically about things to buying in to a different dogma.  One that does what the most prolific churches do – get past people’s critical thinking and appealing directly to their emotions.  Because if you don’t like trans women, you are a bigot!  You have church leaders telling you so, so naturally that’s all you need.

Social justice is a faith.  A college in Toronto actually had an event where straight white men could go into a confessional and confess their sins.  While I am sure that was meant to be satirical on some level, given these people’s belief in the Original Sin of being a straight white man, part of me wonders how not on the level it really was.

In the meantime, if I am intimate with a girl and I find out she has a penis, I am very likely to be turned off.  Because if she was not honest with me about the fact that she had one (I don’t do one-night stands, so don’t even go into the “if you’re just hooking up with a girl, she doesn’t have to tell you”), and I have to find out like that, I am going to be upset with her.  I am likely not going to be attracted to her anymore.  I expected one thing, there was another.  If that hurts you and yours so much, then here’s some cold hard facts of life – suck it up, buttercup.  Life’s hard.  Not everyone is going to be attracted to you.  Just like how lots of women are going to find Riley’s giant Adam’s Apple unattractive.  And you can’t change this behavior in people.

To use a phrase that clearly you don’t buy anymore – they are born that way.

Until next time, a quote,

“The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry.” – Richard Dawkins

Peace out,


Brianna Wu is Running for Congress

I’ve said how I was done talking about Crypt Keeper Wu, but when I saw this video on my Twitter, I couldn’t resist.  This is the the funniest thing I have ever seen.  It’s funny for all kinds of reasons.  It seems that Brianna Wu is running for Congress.  That’s right, she’s going to put her hat into the political arena.  The whole reason that I am making this post is so we can watch and enjoy her first congressional ad, and shed some light some of the things that she’s done and see if that makes her congressional material.  First things first, let’s see this wonderful magnum opus that is her video.

First things first, I do love the pic they got for her to use as the one time we see her face.  It is a marvel that they found a pic which doesn’t make her look like the nightmarish ghoul that she is.  I’m honestly not going to pick apart the video.  A million people have done that already.  I’m just going to provide some context for the media who may or may not talk about her congressional run to know what kind of woman she is.

I’m so glad she brought up GamerGate.  Aside from the bulk of the electorate not knowing what the fuck that is, it is a nice segway into one of the first thing to talk about in respect to Brianna.  Like how she lied about being driven out of her home by EVIL GamerGaters.  Here’s a video that broke it down pretty well.  In a series of interviews between the dates of 10/13 to 12/09 of 2014, Brianna was talking about how she was driven out of her home and scared for her life.  The person in the video was able to notice something about the location that she was being interviewed at in all of these new segments.  There’s this skid mark on the wall.  Not so weird, right?  Well, something to know about that skid mark – it’s in her office.  So, Brianna was basically doing all of these interviews from her office.  Guess where her office is – in her home!  So, her whole song and dance about being run out of her home?  A lie.  100% pure bullshit.  But I’m just getting started.

Wu traded in victimhood, just like most SJW women.  However, unlik e her contemporaries, she didn’t have nearly the skill at it.  Zoe Quinn was busted orchestrating a harassment campaign against Candace Owens which torpedoed her Kickstarter campaign.  Anita Sarkeesian is a masterful con artist.  The best in her class.  Only difference is she just wants people to give her piles of money so she can do nothing.  But Wu wasn’t so good at it.  See, she tried to get in on the action without first realizing that trolling for victim points is more art than science.  Her failure was just beautiful.  What she did is try and bait trolls into saying hateful things on her on Steam.  Here’s a link to a screen-cap.  It’s beautiful in its contemplation. Instead of switching to an appropriately-misogynistic sock-puppet account, she decided to do post something that was blatant fishing from her own Steam page.  Brilliant.

Years of Wu lying, manipulating every media outlet she can into sucking her dick (there is no confirmation that her transition was complete), and her cashing on her victim points every time she possibly could is interesting in and of itself.  After all, doesn’t she say in her ad how she beat the “alt-right” of GamerGate?  Gee, it sure would be a shame if most of the people associated with GG were part of the libertarian-left.  But the really grotesque part of this is the kind of woman that will use the dead as a prop to sell her victimhood.  Don’t believe me?  Well, there’s a fun story ahead.

During the heyday of GamerGate, there was a completely and utterly unrelated story of a woman named Amber Lynn Schraw.  She was strangled to death by her ex-boyfriend and left naked for her son to find.  Something which I am sure has scarred the kid for the rest of his life.  The news broken, and guess what our good “strong woman” decided to do – exploit it to show how in danger she is.  In a Tweet heard round the world, she shared a link to the article with the words, “Tell me again how my life isn’t in danger.”  This dead woman, who left four children without a mother and one child scarred forever, was nothing but a prop to this disgusting, putrid pile of shit in human skin.  I was disgusted by it then, and I’m disgusted by it now.

I wonder if, in that video where she talks about how she is going to stand up for women’s rights, she will acknowledge using a dead woman as a prop.  I think her potential constituents might like to know.  Maybe David Pakman might have liked to know, when he did his soft-ball interview with her that she blew up on him about.  Maybe the people at Huffpost would like to know, when they were kissing her ass just as hard.  I don’t know, maybe they would have liked to know.  The limp-dick media is going to cheer her on and talk about what a hero she is, both as a woman and as a trans person fight for “women’s right.”  Never mind that a dead woman was NOTHING to her but a prop to use to sell a narrative.

This woman’s 15 minutes of fame has gone on far too long.  Hell, it’s going on even now.  But hey, let’s not say that Brianna is a cold and heartless bitch.  After all, it’s not like she is going to already start smearing her opponent and doing every disgusting trick that she can to make herself look good.  Right, Brianna?

brianna-wuOh.  Well, shit.

Until next time, a quote,

“Villains who twirl their mustaches are easy to spot.  But those who cloak themselves in good deeds are well-camouflaged.” – Capt. Jean Luc Picard

Peace out,


Your Logic about Romantic Preferences is Retarded (A response to Riley J. Dennis)

Let’s dive into the maw of stupid SJWs and dredge up this trans person with a giant Adam’s Apple.  I have talked about this creature before, but never in a proper response like this.  This chick, guy, whatever has had some very stupid opinions before, but this one takes the cake.  He/she/it is about to state that unless you are openly sexually attracted to all groups of people equally, you are discriminating.  That’s right, by having one group of people that you find more attractive, you are deliberately attacking the groups of people that you do not.  That logic is so stupid that it hurts.  I’ll let you all see this ignorant diva’s video, then we’ll talk about it.

So, first he/she/it asks if I would date a black person.  It isn’t a group I am predominately attracted to, but if a black girl got my attention and I found her attractive, absolutely.  A trans person?  Depends on how good the transition was.  Not you with your giant Adam’s Apple.  No joke, the biggest reason why I can’t decide what to describe you as is because that thing is fucking huge.  You’re like a dude in drag.  But if it were a trans woman like Blaire White, absolutely.  She’s hot as fuck.  A fat person?  That depends.  A few extra pounds, maybe even a little overweight?  Absolutely.  Obese?  Absolutely not.  I can’t be with a person who is destroying their body with their eating habits.  Sure, there are those who cannot help it, but the reality is that if a person is destroying their body because they can’t plug up the top hole, I don’t want that in my life.  The last girl I ran with was more than a few pounds overweight, but she was a fun girl.  I take people as they come.  Lastly, disabled.  Again, it depends.  I was REALLY into this girl who was so smoking hot with one leg in college.  She ran every day, and was in such good shape.  That woman was a goddess.  A one-legged goddess.  As for somebody with Down Syndrome, probably not.  I have my preferences, and so do you.

He/she/it then postulates that it’s a race thing (of course it is), and that if you don’t like every ethnicity, you’re racist.  By that logic, because I don’t find women with black hair as appealing as women with red hair, I hate black-haired women.  Do you hear how stupid that is?  Then comes what is CLEARLY projection on he/she/it’s part – if you don’t want to date a trans person, it’s discriminatory.  Well, Riley, I’m sorry, but no it’s not.  See, if I’m with a girl, and we’re getting intimate, and I see that there’s a dick there, then I’m immediately turned off.  I am bi, so I am open-minded, but if I am with a girl and I expect there to be a pussy down there, and there isn’t, then I am not attracted to her anymore.  If that hurts her feelings, I genuinely am sorry.  However, if she has seen fit to either not tell me or lie to me about her being in-transition (we’re not talking about the transtrenders like Milo Stewart, though if she wasn’t so annoying, I’d hit that.  I get the feeling that once she gets past all the sjw bullshit, she’ll be a fun girl to be around), then she didn’t trust me enough to tell me before taking the step of intimacy.  Can you not see why that would be insulting to me, Riley?

I hate that he/she/it is projecting this hard.  That’s what this entire video is.  See, Riley’s Twitter has he/she/it identifying as a lesbian.  Okay.  Then that means that he/she/it has been into girls before.  Part of that process involves having to talk to women you are interested in.  I’m guessing that they saw his/hers/its giant honking Adam’s Apple and maybe were a little put off.  See, women are just like men in that they have their own preferences.  And not all lesbians are going to magically just accept you because you are “non-binary.”  They will see the Adam’s Apple and while some might be understanding, I get the feeling that others have been immediately repulsed.  Or, failing that, they saw what I am assuming to be your average sized penis between your legs and were immediately turned off.  A few bad experiences in would-be relationships, Riley?  That’s how this reads.  It reads like you have had some bad experiences and instead of just accepting that you are in an unfortunate position of being sexually unappealing to a larger portion of your target sexual orientation, you chose to believe that it’s bigotry.

This entire fucking video is just Riley crying the blues about people not wanting to be with him/her/it and the belief that it says something about them and their “biases” (I fucking hate that term.  Just be honest about what you mean, you fucking hypocrite.  You want to say that they are prejudiced.  Just own that and be done with it) is just a dodge to pretend that you aren’t hurting about someone not being attracted to you.  I don’t like obese women because I am not attracted to someone who abuses their body with massive quantities of food.  I’m not attracted to women with a bobcut because I think that hair style looks good on NO ONE.  I’m not attracted to bleach-blonde hair because no one’s hair is naturally that color and it also looks good on NO ONE.  The girl I am into now is curvy as fuck, and has a few extra pounds on her.  She can’t do anything about the curvy hips, she was born with it.  An awesome person, though.

And I just KNOW that when he/she/it talks about people and their “biases,” they are talking about white people.  More specifically, white men.  I bet that if some black person came up to him/her/it and said that they find white people completely unattractive, they wouldn’t have some negative reaction.  It would probably be some statement about their empowerment or about how white people were oppressive or some dumb bullshit.  I don’t know.  These SJW critiques of how other people see things always comes back to the white devil.  Whitey is an awful fucker, isn’t he?  Us honkys are just the worst.  If only we were more like Riley, who I am certain is completely romantically and sexually open to all people.  Even though, by his/her/its logic, if they aren’t attracted to women, that means that they have “biases” against them.  Or if any gay man is only attracted to men with bushy beards, they are biased against men who can’t grow facial hair.  Or if a woman is only attracted to tall women, she is biased against short women.  There is no end to the combinations I could make with this bullshit argument.  It’s just that stupid.

Until next time, a quote,

“The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.” – H.L. Mencken

Peace out,


Lucien’s Unpopular Opinion: Trendy Trans People

I did a post recently responding to a 17 year old shit-stain named Milo Stewart and her video where she makes a statement that all cis people are transphobic, all men are misogynistic, and all white people are racist.  She goes out of her way to say that these statements are not insulting (yes they are) and that they aren’t generalizations (yes they fucking are!) and how I found that more than a little insulting.  Milo then goes on to list all the horrifically-terrible qualities about herself that make her a genuinely terrible person.  But that wasn’t the thing that annoyed me most.  The thing that annoyed me is this idea that some 17 year old punk has the balls to make some kind of declarative statements about humanity when this little puke-spot hasn’t done shit.  She hasn’t gone out into the world and done shit.  All of her ideological positions come from the Internet.  She’s a parrot to the things that she hears online.  Oh, and she gets her viewpoints from a black woman who says that black people are unambitious losers and the most effeminate black nationalist I have ever seen.

But when I did a little digging into Milo and what she actually believes, some things became abundantly clear.  For example, while she identifies as trans, she has stated that she has no intentions of pursuing anything in the realm of sexual transition.  Okay, that could just be a personal choice.  I dated a girl whose gender identity was rather fluid, but that was tied in to some biological problems she had associated with a shit-kicking list of problems she had at birth that had her in medical hell for years growing up.  I get why she would have some issues.  Milo, on the other hand, is far more typical than she wants to believe.

She has openly stated that she does not like anything masculine.  At all.  Yet she demands that she go by male pronouns.  I refuse to, but that’s because I don’t respect this little prick enough to give her the respect for that designation.  The girl is obsessed with gay men, which isn’t that surprising.  If you look at the prevalence of yaoi art among girls her age, her obsession with gay men is actually pretty normal.  She’s a “non-binary, trans, asexual, aromantic q*eer who doesn’t care about your cisgendered feelings.”  Did you catch that laundry list of stuff?  Yet she is obsessed with gay men.  Something is a little off.  I’m getting this sneaking suspicion, and when I look at sites like Tumblr, it is becoming more and more clear to me that what I am seeing in her isn’t an isolated incident.

Milo Stewart is part of a group of people that I like to call “trans because it’s trendy.”  Just like these otherkin people with their headmates, conditions, and autism.  It’s cool to be these things.  You want to be all the stuff.  Because after all, if you are this laundry list of stuff, then you aren’t some lonely, typical teenager.  You’re special!  You’re unique!  Just like all the other people who you got to meet and hear all about their unique things on Tumblr!  That’s amazing!

Let me make something very clear – I am NOT saying that this is all trans people.  I am fully supportive of people who have put a ton of thought into this and are working to transition or find out their gender identity.  But those people aren’t the kind of people that I find on these websites.  My ex was as “gender-fluid” as it comes, and I guarantee that she would want to bitch-slap the likes of Milo Stewart for being the stuck-up narcissist that she is.  The reality is that people like Milo are giving the trans community a bad name.  Because to them, these sentiments are just a tagline.  They’re just a Tumblr “About” blurb.  They are a way to make themselves look special.

Internet Aristocrat made a great series of video about these kinds of people.  Go on YouTube and type in “Internet Aristocrat Tumblrisms.”  The stuff you’ll see will blow your mind.  And the problem is that we have these people, these “trans because it’s trendy” people who are doing real harm to a community who is probably just looking to be left alone and allowed to live their own lives, without having these people holding them up like a prop.  Just like the otherkin and headmates communities are doing harm to people who are schizo and need mental help by telling them that they are that way too.

One of the reasons that I say this is because, if you go through Milo’s old videos, it becomes abundantly clear that the person that she’s really trying to convince about how she feels is herself.  Not us. This girl is so desperate to believe what she says, and it’s kind of sad because you realize that the reason there is this self-loathing within her is because of this cognitive dissonance.  It’s okay to be androgynous, Milo.  It’s okay to be quirky.  It doesn’t have to be some crazy thing.  It can just be you doing you.  But that’s not what you want to hear.

I know this opinion will not be met with a lot of love.  I understand.  I don’t mod comments.  If you want to come in and bitch me out, you’re free to do so.  But I have seen through the veil on this issue, and it’s time that we called people like Milo Stewart out for what she is – a stupid, ignorant little Tumblrite who has to make sure we all know how special she is.  Kid, you’re 17 years old.  It’s time for you to grow up.  I know, it’s hard.  Groj knows, Tumblr is doing everything in its power to make sure that people can crawl into a little nostalgia bubble and live there forever.  But your ignorance about the way the world works is more than a little insulting.

For more information, here’s a link to a video where someone far less nice than I decided to go after her.  It’s a good watch.

Until next time, a quote,

It is my belief that we all have the need to feel special. It is this need that can bring out the best in us, yet the worst in us.” – Janet Jackson

Peace out,


Meeting Him

Making peace with what I am now was hard.  It took months of ugly soul-searching and ruined relationships for me to finally realize that I had to make the best of the time that I have.  Call me stupid for not realizing it sooner, but you’ve never looked at yourself in the mirror and seen a skeleton looking back at you.  Now that I made peace with my life, I was going around and repairing bridges that I had broken.  The one with my family was hard, don’t get me wrong.  But that wasn’t the hardest one.  The hardest bridge I had to rebuild was the one with Angie and her little.  Needless to say, neither one wanted to speak to me for some time after how I left things at the club.  But I finally got them to come around.  I took the two out for a drink and explained the situation as best as I could.
It wasn’t easy.  I mean, how do you properly word telling somebody that you had been dead?  If you have an answer for me, I’m all ears.  I told them what I could.  When Angie realized the things that I had going on, she softened almost immediately.  Her little gave me a hug.  That was sweet.  Such an adorable kid.  Made the dynamic I have had with her a little strange.  Hard to have such a person who acts so young being naked with you.  Strange life, eh?  You don’t even know the half of it.
The three of us ended up going back to Angie’s place and putting things to bed in the best way we knew how – by picking up where we left off.  It was intense, hot, and left the two of them very sticky.  Again, a living person’s problem.  But things were finally in a good place again.  I promised the two of them that I would see them again in the club.  I meant it.  Now I was finally back where I wanted to be.  It was a good day.

A week or so later, I was at the club for another play party.  Good times.  I was in the socializing area, talking to a bunch of people, when I saw someone new.  It was a boy.  Probably the most effeminate boy I have ever seen.  Soft features, clearly soft skin, hair cut very short.  Very much a boyish charm.  Never seen one this androgynous before.  Was off-putting, at first.  He was sitting very much alone, looking more than a little fidgety.  I remembered that look.  It’s the same one that I had the first time I came to this place.  So awkward and wondering what was going on.  But then I realized something – this was the place that I belonged.  It was a crowd of people that was so misunderstood, and filled with the nicest bunch you would ever know.
Deciding to be the person to put my best foot forward, I decided to talk to this guy.  Walking over, I looked down at him.  Very short dude, too.
“This seat taken?”
He shook his head sheepishly.  Was he blushing?  Hard to tell in this light.
I sat down, having to break the ice, I had the perfect question.  “So, all new people have to answer this – what was the last porn search that you did.”
His eyes went wide, then his hands started fidgeting.  “Well, this is gonna sound weird.”
“Cool!” I replied, smiling at him.  “We love weird here.”
That got a smile from him.  This guy was cute.  “I looked up yaoi porn.”
My heart skipped a beat.  This guy is into gay porn.
“Interesting….”  I let the thought trail, to clue the guy into me finding this appealing.
He looked up at me.  “What about you?”
Fair question.  I chuckled a bit.  “Man, I haven’t looked for porn in forever.”  Trust statement.  Ever since I discovered the club, I never needed to.  Not to mention that since death, it never even occurred to me.  Jerking off to porn was also a living person’s problem.  For the longest time, sex had been a means of escape for me.  Though, now that I was doing it for fun again, I was feeling more alive in that department.  What was the last porn I looked up?
“I guess it would have been lesbian submissive.  I know, pedestrian, right?”
The two of us got a laugh.
“I guess.”  He then looked down again.  This guy was so shy.  It was adorable.
“What brings you here?”
Looks back into my eyes.  “I’m trying to find the answer to a question.”
My heart skipped another beat.  It was the same thing with me!  I remember that exact thought going through my head, a long time ago.  It was like looking into a very effeminate mirror.
“What question?”
“Whether or not this is for me.”
How did someone this much like me elude me for so long?  A younger version.  Make sense, since he looked to be about four or five years younger than me.
“That’s cool.  I hope I can help you answer that.”
We sat there for a moment, without speaking a word.  He just looked up at me, and I down at him.  There was a tension there that I can’t describe.  It felt awesome.  With the pulsing death metal in the background, I could almost feel the blood that would be coursing through my veins right now, were I alive.
“You seen the private rooms here?” I finally asked.
He just shook his head.

With air escaping his lungs, he landed on the mattress.  I was quickly on top of him.  His lips met mine.  They were so damn soft!  I’ve been with women and men, and never had I met a guy with lips like this.  Never.  So eager.  Like he was dying to get close.  The heat coming off of him was incredible.  Another thing I had never seen in a guy.  Our passion kept ratcheting up.  My hands were exploring his body.  Everything about this dude was soft.  I was working my way up his leg, heading toward his pubic bone, when his hand stopped me.
“Wait!  Please.  I’m not ready for that.”
I pulled back, nodding.  “Okay.  Okay.”  The passion didn’t evaporate.  There was fear.  I could sense it.  Being a Reaper gives me some powers to read people above and beyond what normal people could do.  Why was he afraid?  What was he afraid of?  Something was off here, and I wanted to know what it was.  I don’t like to feel like I’m being dicked around, you know?  His eyes conveyed need, but something was holding him back.  Perhaps best not to push it.
Moving forward, I was a little softer with him.  Letting things simmer down a bit.  The heat was still there, but he was holding back.  What was going on?  I had always been good at reading people, but this Reaper talent was just bugging me.  My hand went up his stomach.  This was the smoothest stomach I had ever touched.  This guy must never work out.  Ever.  How was he so thin?  He looked underweight.  Dude’s short enough.  Probably has the metabolism of a squirrel.  Lucky people.  Well, lucky back when I was alive.  Gaining weight was literally impossible now.  My mortal shell is just a facade.  The things you take for granted, right?
That’s when it happened.  I was reaching up, and he was about to grab and stop me, before I came to something that got my attention.  Were those binds?  Like the kind you use for bandages?  What the hell?!
He pulled back immediately, moving away.  His eyes welled up.  I figured it out.  This wasn’t a guy at all.  It was a girl, doing a damn good job as passing herself off as a guy.  She faced away, crying into her hands.  What was going on here?!
I moved a little closer, but not much.  This was unfamiliar territory, and I didn’t know what to do.  Was a little annoyed.  This was a person who was lying to me.  Not a feeling I am a fan of.
“What’s your deal?!” I asked, trying my best not to sound upset.
She stood up quickly, straightening her own facade and then looking to leave.  “I’m sorry.  I have to go.”  I noticed that her voice got less masculine.  Even a cover for her voice?  This made no sense.
“Wait!  What’s up?!  I’m not mad or anything.  I just…I don’t understand.  Why dress like a boy?”  I was familiar with the concept of transgender.  Forgive me if I hadn’t had much direct experience.  Plus, it was all happening so quickly.  I hadn’t had time to process.
She didn’t answer.  Just took off.  I was left in that room, staring at the open door.  That’s when I started to feel guilty.  But if she didn’t want someone to know her secret, then why come back here with me?  So many unanswered questions.  The thing that worried me is that I might not find out the answers.  Like I may never end up seeing her again.
Angie’s little came over.  “Did something happen?” she asked.  “He was crying.”
Shaking my head, I decided not to get into it.  Because the truth was… “I don’t know, Meggy.  I just don’t know.”  And I may never find out.

I decided to head home early.  It was late anyway.  What a weird night.  I get out toward my car, and I hear a crying sound.  Immediately, I wonder if it’s someone in trouble.  Should I assume Reaper form?  No, best not to risk being seen until we know the situation.  It’s coming from a back alley not far away.  I walk over, leaning in.
“Hello?  Is everything alright in here?”
From the shadows, I see her walk out.  There are tear-marks all down her face, and eyes puffy red.
“Oh.  Hi,” I whisper.
Not exactly sure what to say next.  “You okay?”
She shook her head.  “Not really.”
This was so fucking awkward.  “What’s wrong?”
She looks up at me.  “I didn’t want you to find out.  Not like this.”
So confusing.  “Why?”
“Because you were so nice to me.  I’m a boy, and you’re all sweet and romantic.  Then I become a girl, and you are repulsed.  I saw it all over your face.  You looked like you were grossed out.”
Assume, much?  “I didn’t think that at all.  I was just shocked.  I mean, it wasn’t like I was expecting that, you know?”
Some awkward pause.
“So why do you hide the fact that you’re a girl?”
Her face got less awkward.  “I…was always a little weird about being a girl, you know?  Like, sometimes I liked it.  Sometimes I didn’t.  I don’t really like girls all that much.  They’re so whiny and stupid and boring.  At least the ones I know.  But I don’t always like the idea of being a guy.  You got the ones who are all into sports and shit.  I’m not.  I guess I just don’t know.  But whenever I bind my chest and dress like a guy, that part felt right.  I know I shouldn’t bind it.  That’s unhealthy.  I just like how it feels when people look at me as a man.  Like how you were looking at me.  That felt really good.  I don’t know.  I guess I was afraid that if you knew that I’m a girl, that you wouldn’t want to be intimate with me anymore.”
My emotions about this softened greatly.  She as lost and confused.  Been there for months.  This was something I understood very well.
“You could have just told me.”
She cracked a small smile.  “You like girls too?”
I nodded.  “Yeah.  I go both ways.”
She walked toward me.  “I’m sorry.  After how things ended with my Master, I guess I am a little slow to trust.”
So she has plenty of experience in this community.
“Did he not like the girl side of you?”
Shaking her head.  “No.  Opposite.  He didn’t like it when I looked like a boy.  Said that it was gross.  That I should accept that I’m a girl.”
What a dick.  “Geez.  That sucks.  Is that why you left?”
More tears welling up.  “I didn’t leave.  He kicked me out.  Told me that he didn’t want a boy as a slave.”
Again, what a dick.  “I’m so sorry.”
More awkward pause.
I finally knew what to say.  “Look, if you want to be a boy, that’s fine.  But the female side of you is going to come up.  Like, if we’re in private again.  You go boy when it comes to sex?”
Was too dark to see, but I could tell that she was blushing.  “Well, no.  I mean…I like how it feels, being a girl during sex.  I know, I’m weird.  Like, make up your mind, right?  Even I don’t get where I am with this.”  Back to my eyes.  “Maybe, I could be a boy when we’re at the club or in public…and a girl when we’re together in private.”
My smile grew wide.  “So you want to be in private again?”
Dead-locked with my eyes.  “You do seem to be a phenomenal kisser.  Wouldn’t mind seeing where that goes.”
This night turned out to be pretty good very quickly.
“Alright.  You…got anything else going on tonight?”
He shook his head.  “Nope.”
“Then maybe I could take a boy back to my place.”
He bites on his bottom lip.  “I’d like that.”

Until next time, a quote,

“When a man’s knowledge is not in order, the more of it he has, the greater his confusion will be.”  – Herbert Spencer

Peace out,


Don’t Make Assumptions About Me (A response to Milo Stewart)

Something I hate – when people make assumptions about me without having met me or having interacted with me in any way.  Now, I get that that is something that pretty much all people do.  But there’s a reason that we keep those thoughts internal.  We don’t know the person, so we assume, and then walk away.  I see some woman at the store who is utterly unable to control her spoiled child, and I assume that she isn’t disciplining her kid enough.  I might be right.  I might be wrong.  But at the end of the day, I don’t go up to her and tell her my assumption because there is the acknowledgement in the back of my mind that I don’t really know who she is.  Not to mention, I don’t really care about her anyway. It’s her child I take umbrage with.  And not really for that long.  It will just be for the length of my time within earshot.  At which point I will go and pay for my purchases and then go home.

This brings us to today’s SJW, who decided that not only is she (or he.  I don’t know what their chosen identity is, so I’m just going to assume based on what I can see) going to assume what I think about her and hers, but also assume that I outright hate them.  Yeah, that is more than a little insulting.  I’ll post a link to her video.  If you are able to get through that without smacking your head into something, I’ll be impressed.  Watch it, then we’ll talk about it.

First, Milo, at what point did I believe that trans people aren’t people?  It’s not even 15 seconds into your video, and you are making assumptions about how I think.  This is already insulting, but we are just getting started.  I have always believed that they are people.  Like pretty much all the people I know, I don’t give two fucks about them.  I live my life.  They live theirs.  I don’t bring my problems to them and vice-versa.  Can we please stop assuming that I am some bigot before you even get started?

I also don’t need you (a child who has spent all of her what, 17 years on this Earth?) telling me how best to support people.  Since I don’t really give too much of a shit about the people outside of those that I know and care about, my support of individuals comes down to a personal thing.  If I met a person who openly identified as trans and grew to like them beyond knowing their name, I would be more active.  I don’t.  Do I support their right to same-sex bathrooms?  Sure, why not?  I don’t give a fuck.  Use whatever bathroom you want.  I don’t actually care about issues as banal as these.  A telling thing about modern social justice battles is that they feel less like some big culture war and more like clean-up.  That’s because they are.  With gay marriage now being legal nationwide, the last major battle for equality is over.  Issues like a bathroom are just the leftovers to deal with.  But the SJWs want to pretend like they are going to get hit with a fire-hose for that.  It’s ridiculous.

But the thing that really pisses me off is what you say next.

“All cis people are transphobic.  Just as all men hold misogynistic views.  And all white people are racist.

Listen here, you ignorant little fuck, I don’t like it when people who don’t know me make assumptions about stuff like this.  I am not transphobic.  I don’t give two fucks about you.  That’s equality.  Equality is when I don’t care about you any more than I do about anyone else that I don’t know.  And I don’t hate women.  That’s what misogyny is, you presumptive punk.  It’s hatred of women.  I don’t hate women.  Find some evidence that I hate women.  I have defended all kinds of women from the harassment of your kind (SJWs).  Pretty much all of my friends now are are women (my own gender and I don’t get along.  What can I say, sports and junk like that bore me.  And hipsters are the plague.  Another thing about you, kiddo).  Ask any of the women in my life how much I hate them or treat them poorly because they are women.  You can suck a dick.  And I’m racist?  Screw you!  Ask my cousin who is black how many times I treated him poorly because of the fact that he’s black.  I do have a problem with him, but it has nothing to do with his race.  It comes from him being a money-grubbing prick who stabs family in the back.  That’s something I cannot abide.  If you are going to make assumptions about me and my way of interpreting the world, then you better know me.  Because from where I’m sitting, you are another high and mighty kid who thinks that you know everything about the world.  When the reality is that you don’t know shit.  Little bitch.  Where did you get these views, anyway?

Oh, that’s right, you state outright that you suffer from “internalized transphobia.”  In other words, you hate yourself.  How is that on me?  How is that on anyone else?  That’s not my problem.  I’m not responsible for you hating yourself.  That’s on you, sport.  All the way.  How you see yourself is entirely your responsibility.  And this is coming from someone who has severe self-loathing issues.  If you want to assume that you are bad and wrong, you do that.  But don’t blame the rest of society for this problem.  It’s on your shoulders.  My advice – deal with it.  Go outside the SJW hug-box and actually get real help from a real professional.  Not Tumblr or Twitter.  I get how it feels to not like yourself.  However, I cannot abide it when you say the rest of the world is to blame, and I wonder how often you see someone to get help.  You look to be upper-middle class.  I’m sure your parents have insurance.  Go to someone you can talk to.  It will help.  Trust me.

Another thing, kiddo – people finding you attractive is subjective.  I refuse to believe that you find all people equally attractive.  I am sure that you have your preferences.  Nobody finds all people attractive.  As a guy who is into both men and women, I can say that aside from the fact that you are a kid, you aren’t bad-looking.  Your fears about nobody finding you attractive stem from your self-loathing.  You really need to work on that.  Because this kind of thing can only damage you in the long run.  You’ll get into these relationships where you are completely dependent on that person.  You will constantly need them to tell you about how beautiful you are.  You will smother the person in your neediness until you eventually have them leave you to escape.  It will be a painful experience, for you and for them.  That’s not healthy.  Once you can look past how much you don’t like yourself, then you can find a positive relationship that can be both give and take.  Sure, it won’t be the first relationship you have.  In this day and age, you get to have several relationships.  You’ll get your heart broken a few times.  But if you get help and are able to ditch this negative mentality that you subscribe to, take my word for it, you’ll feel better.  I actually want to help, because I know the emotions you have in your head, and I know how unhealthy they can be.  But there is a way out.  I can show it to you.

But I guess that you won’t trust me, though.  Because as you said, if I tell you that I am not transphobic, then you know not to trust me.  That’s another part of the problem.  You are deliberately looking to wall yourself off from people.  I have told you about how I understand the problems you have.  I have told you that I want to help.  I’m not trying to be mean for the sake of it.  Sure, I was a little insulting earlier, but that’s because you were being a dick about your assumptions.  Still, the mentality you are subscribing to is toxic.  So is the crowd you are affiliating yourself with.  I really want you to get out of that.  Because the truth is that those people have a bad habit of turning on their own the minute that someone says something they don’t like.  It’s an ugly reality that I don’t want you to have to be a part of.

One last fact about me – I dated a trans person.  She had a gender that swung depending on what day you caught her, but the reality is that she would go from one gender to another rather seamlessly.  I kind of liked that about her.  She was gorgeous when she was girly.  He was gorgeous when he was being masculine.  I miss her every day.  But that story went the way it did, and now it’s too late.  If you want to judge me for not feeling that I don’t like trans people, how’s about you take a closer look at the person I am.  You’d be amazed what that can do for other people.

What’s more, like those who have already escaped the SJW clutches, there is a community of people that will be there for you.  If you ever choose to ditch these assumptions and maybe give people like myself a chance to be a friend and true ally to you, then feel free to hit me up on Twitter or Tumblr.  Go to my About page, and you’ll find all links.  Here’s hoping I’ll get to hear from you soon.

Until next time, a quote,

“Taking the time to build community, to get to know your people will have life-long benefits.”  -Clifton Taulbert