Because I have absolutely no life, and spend an inordinate amount of time on the Internet, I have been seeing some really interesting stories lately making the rounds. For starters, did you know that none of the major stars in Disney’s new Star Wars films are ever coming back for any sequels or spin-offs or anything else? I saw that article, and here was my thought – don’t let the door hit you on the way out! Good fucking riddance! Your movies were either bland or terrible. I’m more than happy to see you go away.
I did a First Take of the trailer for The Rise of Skywalker. It’s resoundingly clear that Abrams is just trying to pump in as much nostalgia as possible to try and break even with the franchise now that the fan base is pretty much incensed. Or at least that’s what I would think, if there wasn’t another article I read where someone interviewed the head of Disney, Bob Iger. Iger outright said that the goal of this film is to completely lay to rest the entire concept of the original trilogy so they can basically divorce themselves from the expectations they can have with it. The goal being with a new trilogy to find some new audience to ensnare into this franchise which should have been led out to pasture 30 fucking years ago.
Speaking of the final nail in the coffin for a once great franchise, did you hear that the next film is gonna have LGBTQ representation! Wow! J.J. Abrams said so. Except, people like me with any kind of perspective on all this realize what kind of “representation” we are talking about – the kind that you can easily edit out. The kind that isn’t plot-significant. The kind where it’s tacked-on, just so they can get them some of those sweet brownie points. Because they still want to market this film in China, after all. And China has themselves a big rule – no ghosts, no gays. You wanna put that gay shit in a movie you are going to market overseas, it’s going to be something that can be easily edited out because the last thing you want is to offend the precious Chinese censors who might not let you get that sweet China cheddar. Just like Blizzard, they care so much about the precious LGBTQ community, except where it could actually dip into their profits. These companies are so full of shit, and yet people think Disney is “progressive.” What a fucking joke.
But back to what Iger said, that really got me to thinking. He went on in the article to talk about how what they are doing with Star Wars ties into what they are doing with 20th Century Fox, and how they basically want to not make anything new, but instead just take old concepts and remake them. Dude actually said that it should be expected that if you don’t do that regularly with every franchise you can, the concept will just die. You know, like that’s a bad thing. When I read shit like that, it really does make me fear for the medium of film.
After all, how many great films could be made right now if it wasn’t for studios deciding that instead of taking actual risks, it’s better to just feed people more of the same shit? Which in turn does mean I have to look down my nose at the dumb fuck public who pays money for this stuff. After all, it’s not like great films are never made. They happen all the time. It’s just that they go onto a list I keep that I call – great movies that no one has ever seen. Because why pay money for something that might not be your cup of tea, when you can pay money to see the latest Marvel film. Did you see the new Black Widow trailer? Yeah, that looked like shit. If only it was made before Kevin Feige had left the MCU. Then maybe it would have actually had a chance to be good. A film about a good character, that came out too late to be interesting.
I’ve reached the point that I don’t go see films in theaters anymore. After all, the only stuff that gets released there anymore is just the big budget shit that we’ve all seen before. Meanwhile, I stick at home and get Netflix DVD and Blu-rays that come to my place, with me able to watch on my nice TV where it’s quiet and I don’t have to bother with annoying people. Where I can eat pizza and pause to use the john. It’s 1000X better than going to the theaters will ever be. So Disney will keep buying studios and reprocessing great films into shit ones, all so they don’t have to worry about a franchise heading into obscurity and actually do something different. Because that’s scary! It might not make back a ton of money! What if it doesn’t sell in China?! Holy shit!
Film as a medium and the potential it had is dying, and the public has NO ONE to blame but themselves.
Until next time, a quote,
“Conjecture: why should I make anything up? Life is bad enough without trying to make more of it.” – HK-47, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic