Lucien’s First Take: Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order Official Gameplay Demo – E3 2019

It’s a weird year.  A really, really weird year.  First we have Activision coming out with what looks to be the best Call of Duty in ages.  A reboot of the last time their games were good.  That looks to be exceptional.  Now we have EA stepping up to the plate, with a new single-player only Star Wars game.  When I saw the initial trailer, you can imagine that I was skeptical.  It’s EA, after all.  A company that is known for being the greediest of greedy money-grubbers in the gaming industry today.  I swore that I would never buy another EA game again.  They do have that coming, after all.  Especially with how they have treated this license that Disney gave them.  Battlefront II was trash.  Just outright trash.  Well, EA’s version of it, anyway.  A dumpster fire with microtransactions galore.  The game that has got Washington actually taking action against microtransactions.  The big companies are definitely feeling the heat.  All the good, I say.

So here we have EA putting out a gameplay demo for their latest game in the license, which is a third-person action-adventure game.  I was curious to see what this looked like.  Let’s take a look, then we’ll talk about it.

Whoa.  As I said, this has been a really weird year.  It seems that EA has done something with this license that actually looks cool.  I don’t know how to feel about this.  But as I said, let’s talk about it.

We start out with our main character on what appears to be a jungle planet.  Alright.  It looks beautiful.  The visuals in this game are incredible.  Kudos where they’re due for that.  We see that our character uses the Force to help solve platforming puzzles.  I like that.  After more platforming, it looks like our nameless Jedi is meeting up with the Rebellion.  Oh look, it’s Forrest Whittaker!  At least his character.  I’m assuming the same one from Rogue One.  At least he doesn’t sound nearly as cringe-y in this as he did in that.  For real, that was the worst performance by that actor that I’ve ever seen.  Here, he’s okay.  Giving us our mission – help destroy the empire base and liberate the slaves.  Alright.  I’m down with this.  I love the line this dude has when the Rebel leader says he needs his help.  That feels like something a young man would say.  This gameplay demo is growing on me.

It seems that we are on Kashyyk, the Wookie homeworld.  Now enslaved by the Empire.  Alright!  This place looks so fantastic.  I cannot state how amazing this demo looks.  It’s beautiful.  Now we begin the journey, and I kinda love that our character uses his lightsaber as a lamp.  That’s kinda cool.  From there it seems there’s the first bit of combat.  This is what’s gotten me hooked.  Every kid who grew up loving Star Wars wanted to swing a lightsaber around.  Here, it looks pretty natural.  This combat looks to be pretty big on timing, which is fine by me.  It seems you can also use the Force to stop an enemy and everything around them.  That’s rad as fuck.

After some more fighting in the base, we are introduced to a new enemy.  A trooper who appears to be trained specifically for combat with a Jedi.  Oh yeah.  This is what I’m talking about!  As the two are fighting, I can’t help but notice something.  It looks like there is a second bar that depletes as they fight, outside of health.  It makes me think back to Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice.  For enemies like this, I kinda like that.  Makes you have to play smart.  This dude hits hard, so that makes sense.  Can’t wait to see what kinds of boss fights this system leads to.

Heading into the base, I like that we get to see there are lots of kinds of enemies that we fight.  There is some nice banter between our nameless Jedi and his droid.  And then…oh no.  Giant spiders.  Why the fuck did it have to be giant spiders?!  After killing the ugly hellspawn, it seems you can go on a little detour and learn about the local wildlife.  Why one would want to learn about giant spiders is beyond me.  *shivers*  Speaking of, now we get to fight another really big giant spider!  And it’s up-close and personal.  So fucking gross.  Though we do get to see a cool execution.  That could be fun.

Something I noticed in the giant spider den – there’s an old separatist droid in there!  I’ve talked before about how little details and attention to them goes a long way with me, well that’s another one that does.  That’s kinda cool.  It also seems that you can have your droid scan stuff and get some flavor text out of it.  That’s also cool.  A little bit of universe building.  Gaming companies are getting better about doing this stuff, and to be honest, I like it.  One final little thing that’s just so cool – you can freeze a trooper and their laser blast, then force-pull them into their own attack.  That’s just adorable.  I love it.

Then we see this big purple beam of light, and the dude doesn’t step into it.  What is that?  Why did they avoid it?  I’m really confused.  I’m the kind of gamer that I want to see absolutely everything in a game.  This is no exception.  Is that some kind of level up port?  I notice that our character gets skill points.  So what is it?

We get into a room with a couple of distance troopers, some close-up ones, and one of these elite dudes.  This is hardcore!  A battle where you have to constantly keep an eye on your surroundings and then be smart with your usage of Force powers.  Growing on me more and more.

After taking the dudes out, it looks like that’s it for this mission.  You get into the prison area where the wookies are kept.  Time to save the day.  But just as we’re about to get it done, seems the Empire has one more trick up their sleeves – a droid that’s bigger, and clearly means business.  From there, we get a montage of fighting this droid, along with more Empire, then the title.

As I said at the start, this has been a weird year.  Activision stepping up in a way to win back people with their best development company.  Now EA is doing a single-player game with no microtransactions.  This is a weird, weird year.  Perhaps these companies are starting to feel the ground shaking under their feet.  With America looking to join other countries who have outlawed loot-boxes in games accessible to children, their big cash cow might be leaving.  What would that do to their bottom line?  EA might be in trouble.  Fear is compelling companies to take risks.  I like it.  And this game looks cool.  It comes out November 15th.  I’m gonna have to put this one on the Christmas list.  November is also when Kojima’s game comes out, and I dont’ have the money to go broke like that.

Initial Verdict
It’s a weird, weird year

Peace out,



SIONR: Three More Star Wars Movies…

This franchise needs to die.  This franchise needs to fucking die right the fuck now.  It needs to die the death of a thousand cuts.  I thought that the prequels ruined this franchise, but I was wrong.  The new films did.  And before you write this off as me just being some Red Pill guy who hates the movie because wahmen, don’t.  I hate this franchise now for a whole bunch of other reasons.  Though I do think that Rey is boring and you could cut her from the most recent numbered film and nothing would have changed.  Not really.  Daisy Ridley can’t act, but that’s not her fault.  Emma Watson can’t either, and everyone loves her too.  But this franchise needs to go, and Disney has told us that it’s not going to.  Ugh…

What am I talking about?  I’m talking about the fact that Disney just announced that there are three more numbered films being made.  Groj only knows how many side-movies that means too.  You’d think they would have learned their lesson after what a financial disaster Solo was.  Well, I suppose they kind of did.  They realized that the best way to make these movies is to just feed the fandom fan service to make them cum in their pants.  That’s why you have J.J. Abrams back in the driver’s seat.  Rian Johnson tried to do something different and failed so spectacularly that J.J. outright said that he is going to retcon the ending to the previous numbered film for the next movie coming out this December.  Wow.  That’s pretty bad.  The trailer was boring and stupid, and it ends with the biggest fan service moment of all time – the Emperor laughing!  How did he survive being atomized in the Death Star?  I’m sure the answer will be stupid, but the fanbase doesn’t care.  They will cum in their pants just like Disney wants them to.

See, that’s the thing about Star Wars fans.  They are die-fucking-hard.  It doesn’t matter how stupid you makes these movies, how ridiculous the plot is, they will eat it up.  They will eat that shit sundae and make videos on YouTube defending them.  Hell, there was one where someone said the most recent numbered film was the best in the entire franchise.  J.J. Abrams said you don’t like it, you hate women.  This fanbase is so utterly exploitable.  Even Marvel isn’t this easy to cash-grab.  Disney seems to have realized where they hit their limit and is now toning it back.  But not Star Wars.  You can feel slop to these people for eons and they won’t care.  It blows my mind.  Part of why I have always avoided fandoms.  These bitches be crazy!

Never mind that The Force Awakens was a mediocre film at best.  It had the Millennium Falcon!  Never mind that Rogue One was genuinely bad for two acts, with only the final battle sequence being cool.  Never mind that The Last Jedi was a giant dumpster fire that was awful in every way, or that Solo was butt ugly to look at and boring.  They are still cheering that three more films are being made.  They don’t care.  I wonder what it would take for them to give up on the franchise.  I really do.  Disney has realized that taking risks with this license is a bad thing, so you know that it’s going to be nothing but fan service for years.  Is there ever a point where that isn’t enough?  When boring movies aren’t able to be sold to the fanbase just based on what pandering you put in there?  That’s not a rhetorical question.  I really want to know.

From where I’m standing, this franchise needs to fucking die!  It’s past the point where it is able to be enjoyed on any level.  The fan service does nothing for me.  The films have gone from mediocre and have been getting progressively worse.  Sure, Solo wasn’t even close to as bad as The Last Jedi, but the fact that it was so boring and I can’t remember the plot hardly at all is kind of worse.  I can at least remember everything about the former movie.  Especially the scene where Leia becomes Mary fucking Poppins to go back into the ship.  That was so funny to me when I watched it.  I was laughing so hard in the theater when that happened.  Got dirty looks from fanboys, but whatever.  If you can’t see why that’s so stupid, I pity you.

This franchise should have died thirty years ago.  No prequels, no sequels, just death.  Let it die with some fucking dignity.  Oh wait, this is modern Disney we’re talking about.  You know, where every one of their classic cartoon films is being remade as live-action cinematic abortion.  EVERY single one of their live-action films has sucked.  Badly.  Disney can’t let anything die.  Then they’d have to do something original, and I don’t think they even know how to do that at this point.  Things to ruminate on, eh?  I refuse to partake in any of this.  I said in my Solo review that that’s it.  No more.  I won’t let me friend give any of his money on my behalf (he convinced me to go on the pretense that he would pay my way) to see these movies when they are either going to range from okay to a turd sandwich.  I’m done.  Hopefully you are too.

Until next time, a quote,

“This sucks.”
“Yeah, this really sucks!” – Beavis and Butthead

Peace out,


Lucien’s Review: Solo: A Star Wars Movie

I swore that I am never paying to go to anything associated with Star Wars again, and I meant it.  But when my buddy called me up all sad and drunk and told me that he wanted to see it to take his mind off things and would pay my way, I decided that I would spend his money.  No sweat off my back.  After the shit-show that was The Last Jedi, this couldn’t possibly be as bad, right?  Well, yeah, it really couldn’t possibly be as bad as that flaming pile of shit.  But that doesn’t make it good.  In fact, what I would describe this movie as is painfully average.  It does nothing to surprise you, and is a boring movie to sit through.  It’s so by-the-numbers that I could see where it was going long before I got there.  Let’s talk about it.

The plot goes that instead of our boy Han Solo being some studious dude who happens to fall into crime (which is a story I would actually have liked, or at least SOME kind of inclination to who he was as a young person), he is already a criminal and working for another equally-grotesque crime boss.  The film follows him as he goes from working for that boss, to being in the Imperial military, to then being back into crime with Woody Harrelson.  Will he find all the iconic stuff from the other films and give a shit-ton of fan service so the Star Wars nerds can cum in their pants?  Well no fucking shit.  That’s a given.

The plot of this film is boring.  However, let’s not talk about that.  Instead, let’s talk about the things I liked.  There is one thing on this list.  It’s the dynamic between Chewie and Han.  When I heard the horror stories about the actor playing the titular needing an acting coach because he sucked so bad, I immediately wrote this shit off.  But then I was genuinely surprised.  He wasn’t the worst.  In fact, the moments where him and Chewie are getting to know each other and building up a repore are pretty great.  It was the only time I felt ANY investment in the film, so kudos there.

Now we get to shit I hate.  For starters – this movie is butt-ugly to look at.  What the hell was the cinematography department doing?  This is Ron Howard directing this, so it should NOT look this bad.  This is worse than Suicide Squad.  The presentation is so muted and boring and vanilla.  Not one scene in the whole damn movie stands out for being visually interesting.  If the plot and characters were more interesting, it could make up for a lot of that, but since they aren’t, it doesn’t.  It genuinely blows my mind how crappy this movie is in the visuals department, from a director who I know knows what they’re doing.

Next up, the worst role in this film, by far, is Lando.  This character was so insufferable to listen to.  I don’t hold this against Donald Glover.  NOBODY could make how awful this writing was work.  And to Glover’s credit, he did try.  But he is poorly written and I rolled my eyes a lot.  So is his SJW-bot.  SJW droid was the worst.  I do not genuinely understand why they did this with this character.  Of all the characters to have forced social justice bullshit, why the droid?  Part of me wonders if it’s a parody.  I expected Emilia Clark’s character to be all about that.  But no, it’s the droid.  I may have found the snarky droid in Rogue One to be fun, but this one is the worst.  Oh, and the forced pansexuality of Lando was just awful too.  It didn’t fit with the character given what we knew.  All of that Billy Dee Williams charm, gone.

Oh, and speaking of side-characters, I couldn’t have given less of a shit about anyone in this film if I tried.  The side-characters in Rogue One were kind of annoying, but at least they were memorable.  Here, they’re just dull as dirt.  No surprises.  No memorable traits, aside from who plays them.  I could do the Red Letter Media test on pretty much anyone in this movie and they would fail.  Not a single one of them stood out to me, so when we have them dying, I didn’t really care.  Who the fuck did?  Given the fact that this film has bombed at the box office, clearly not many.

All things considered, this isn’t a terrible movie.  It’s boring.  So insufferably boring.  I’ll admit that I was surprised that I didn’t hate the guy they got to play the titular character, but that’s it.  And the repore he built up with Chewie was genuinely enjoyable to watch.  That’s it.  The rest of it sucked.  I meant what I said about being done with Star Wars.  But since I was spending my friend’s money (the amount I spent on concessions at the theater was just spiteful.  I told him outright I was going to spend his money.  There was no lie.  He needed to be sobered up anyway, and movie popcorn is good for that.), I figured I should tell you all about it.  Haven’t been able to build up the urge to actually do the review until now.  I just didn’t know what to say.

Part of me thinks that Disney just bought this license to make quick cash of a couple billion dollars.  But they aren’t managing it well.  They are using this license to spread their faux-belief in SJW talking points, when anyone with a brain knows that Disney doesn’t ACTUALLY buy into this crap.  They don’t give two shits about feminism and equality.  They care about money, and right now the media is all about social justice and SJW feminism, so they pander to that.  But make no mistake, once the pendulum swings back the other way, they will be shitting on social justice with the rest of the industry.  That time is coming, by the way.  The public is getting tired of it, and SJW culture eats itself.  So the day is coming when all of this is done.

Meanwhile, all of the Star Wars films that could have been good idea, or stories set in that universe, are being ignored. All of this makes me think of the Star Wars game we never got – 1313.  Sigh.  If you wanna see this film, I guess you can, but I don’t get why you would.  That’s all I got.

Final Verdict
4 out of 10

Peace out,


SIONR: Incredibles 2 and the Death of Pixar

I’ve repeatedly said that Disney is pure evil and they destroy everything that I love.  They turned one of my favorite films into a fucking Kinect game.  That’s how bad they are.  They take good ideas or properties and turn them into shit.  Most recently with Star WarsThe Last Jedi was a dumpster fire, and if what I am hearing about the latest film in the franchise, it went through three directors, had multiple rewrites, and the guy who plays the titular character not only looks NOTHING like him (he’s a fucking pretty boy.  Nothing even remotely roguish at all), but can’t act his way out of a paper bag.  They had to hire an acting coach for him after shooting the bulk of his scenes.  So yeah, that will be a dumpster fire too.  I mean, they barely show this guy in the trailer for his own film.  If that isn’t a sign that this movie is dead on arrival, I don’t know what is.

Now we come to The Incredibles 2.  I really liked the first one.  It’s not my favorite Pixar film, but it’s up there.  A film about a family of superheroes, mixing some fantastic action, great scoring (the score for that film is phenomenal), and both superhero and human elements to make a great story.  It balanced out every character to give them an arc and show them grow.  It’s great stuff.  Then the trailer for the sequel dropped.

This film looks terrible.  So, we go from a story about a family of superheroes, to the mom being off doing stuff, while the dad is being a stay-at-home dad with superbaby.  Wow.  That’s so boring that writing it I felt myself lose energy.  Who thought this was a good idea?  I mean, all the creative potential that a sequel of this film could be.  Like, it’s been many years since the first one.  Why not age the characters up a little?  Have them dealing with the reemergence of superheroes in society and them being kind of swept up in things?  Or maybe have them still having to be in the shadows and yet still doing good, now accepting their desire to be heroes, yet still being trapped behind a screen of anonymity.  All the cool ideas are there, but what is the final product?  Stay at home dad and superbaby!  Oh boy!

It hurts me inside to think of how Pixar has died.  It really has.  While the death of 2D animation breaks my fucking heart (it is an art form that has died and will likely never come back in the way it once was with the old Disney magic), I did grow up with this company.  I remember seeing Toy Story and thinking it was crazy cool.  My favorite of their films, Ratatouille, is a charming story.  The Incredibles combines so many good elements.  This studio once was believed to be setting the new standard in kids movies story-telling.

Then Brave happened.  With that movie I felt something.  There was a shift in the films that they were putting out, and the content immediately starting getting progressively worse.  You’d have films that stand out in the crowd, but the bulk were either really mediocre or outright bad.  Plus, a lot of their staff was now under Disney directly making some of the biggest bargain-bin garbage ever put to film.  Films that were made only to help the influx of capital for the fiscal quarters they were made.

When I heard that they were doing a sequel to The Incredibles, my heart leapt.  Finally, a return to form!  Get some of the classy style that was modeled first in 2D drawings and then put to digital models.  Great voice acting, great score.  All the potential was there!  Then the trailer drops and I realize that I’m seeing yet-another bargain-bin movie that everyone will forget about just as fast as they did Monster’s University or Cars 2 (or the original Cars for that matter).  This kills me inside.

Disney is like the film version of EA.  They take IPs and studios with good ideas and then run them into the ground.  Does it not blow your mind the way it does mine that there are over twice as many mediocre/bad films in the Star Wars franchise as there are good ones?  Over six!  That’s insane!  Marvel has been kept from joining these ranks simply because Kevin Feige is at the helm.  Once he leaves, they’re next.  It took a man with vision and a passion for the source material to keep this genre from becoming bargain-bin shit too, and there are people who make the argument that the brand is getting old.  I think I have avoided this thought process simply because I only watch the films in there that I think look good. Pixar is gonna be their version of Visceral Games, one of these days.  It hurts me inside.

Until next time, a quote,

“Turians think they know a thing about a scorched-earth response.  Fuck ’em!” – Jack, Mass Effect 2

Peace out,


SIONR: Amy Hennig Doesn’t Know What She’s Talking About

I hate when people inside the industry trash-talk elements of it and pull things right out of their ass.  EA shut down Visceral Games, an action that had a lot of gamers going “well, they got the EA treatment.”  As Bioware will after Anthem has more lootbox bullshit and gamers give it the finger.  It was genuinely nice to see gamers be able to come together after the disaster that was Battlefront II and be able to vote with their wallets against this sort of thing.  EA will be bringing the microtransactions back in that game, everyone knows that, but the real question is what will happen with Anthem.  I have no intention of playing that game.  I don’t do online MMOs.  But a lot of people are speculating that just like Battlefront II, Anthem has a lot of its gameplay elements centered around lootboxes.  Given that now the gaming public is openly fighting back against this, EA’s cash cow might also bleed money.

Which brings us to Amy Hennig.  After months of her Star Wars project being destroyed, she finally sat down for an interview and really tore into gamers.  In her mind, EA was somewhat justified in destroying her project, saying that gamers who claim that we like single-player games are not putting our money where our mouths are.  She says that last year had games like Wolfenstein 2 and The Evil Within 2 which both reviewed well and had poor sales.

Here’s the thing, Amy – I don’t know if you are aware of this, but people like me only have so much money.  I don’t have the capital to waste of things that I don’t like.  With my adulting costs, medical costs, and things like like, I don’t have the money to buy all the games that sound good.  I have to buy the ones that I really think are worth my time, and I’m selective about that.  It’s not like I get the money back if it was a bad investment.  I’m sorry that that means that I bought Horizon: Zero Dawn and Persona 5 instead of those other games.

Then she decided that she was going to say that EA is justified in its business practices because the cost of making games is too high, and it’s use gamers who are responsible for that.  Apparently, we are the ones demanding visual fidelity get higher and higher.  This statement bugs me on so many levels.  See, I have argued, many, many times, the I don’t need the most massive fidelity in order to like a game.  My favorite game of 2015 used pastel colors and very low textures intentionally to create a style all its own.  While I do believe the facial animations could have been improved, it was still a fun game with its own style that did not cost an arm and a leg to make.

I wish that more game devs would try unique things with the visuals in the medium instead of just subscribing to the most high-def design.  Take cues from Mirror’s Edge or JRPGs or Borderlands.  But even without that, I don’t need the most cutting edge amazing graphics to like a game.  Just give me expressive characters and a good narrative.  Is that so fucking hard?  Who are these people who demand the graphics be so insanely detailed and rich at all times?  I need to know who these people are and tell them that they are part of a problem.

Here’s another thing, Amy, if you want to make a statement about that, then lead the fucking charge!  Make a game where you use a different visual style.  Have it be all its own and show gamers that something different can be just as good as something that costs astronomically more to make.  Then we can stop having EA fuck with us and you fucking defending them!  Because these companies aren’t doing this because of rising costs.  They are still making astronomical profits, you fucking moron!  They are doing it because of greed.  They’re doing it because they see games like Grand Theft Auto Online and Destiny and they want to get in on that insanely lucrative pie.

It is occurring to me that linear, story-focused games may be dying in the AAA space.  I personally miss when devs were willing to make a AA game that could have a small budget and take more risks.  We are seeing some devs be willing to risk that.  Or they are willing to take their time and get things right.  But Hennig believing that the greedy and destructive practices is gamers’ fault bugs me.  This woman sounds bitter about her game being cancelled, and I get that.  I really do.  It must be so hard to watch something you put your heart and soul into die.  She said as much in the interview, not knowing how much creative energy she has left.  That’s sad to hear.  I hope she goes back to Sony, who has shown that they are not going to be abandoning the story-driven game.

What will gaming be in ten years?  I’ve said before that if story-driven single player games die, I’m done.  That will be when I leave the industry.  I don’t know how many people are with me.

Until next time, a quote,

“There’s so much grey to every story. Nothing is black and white.” – Lisa Ling

Peace out,


Women Should Be Discouraged From Serving in the Military…?

I saw this rather terrible review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi that made me cringe a little.  It hated the movie as much as I did, but their reasons for hating it were just ridiculous.  It made these huge assertions about what the film promotes that just blow my mind.  I hate the film because it is a dumpster fire that butchers Luke’s character, has the biggest Mary Sue ever, and decided that instead of making a film that follows the plot from the last film, it is going to just go its own way.  Along the way we’ll get Leia Poppins and Tumblrina captain.  Great work.

But the video I mentioned had this weird contention that it said The Last Jedi was promoting – the idea that more women need to join the military, which the maker of the video said is wrong because women are weaker than men, on average.  To be fair, biologically that is true.  We are a sexually dimorphic species, and women are weaker than men on average.  Here’s the thing – how does this invalidate the idea that women should serve in the military?

One of my favorite women joined up with the Navy last year.  She is going into intelligence work, and her stories about life in the military fascinate me to no end.  Just makes me wonder what might of been had I not busted my skull open when I was 14.  I am immensely proud of her, and listening to her talk about her career with the military never stop being interesting.  She was telling me one day how she read an article about how the Navy SEALS were letting women join up.  She was skeptical of this for one simple reason – the physical requirements to be a SEAL are insane.  She broke it down for me, and to hear about that told me that unless these women were Olympians who train every day for it, the odds that they will meet the physical requirements to get past the initial phase that weeds out those who can’t measure up is ridiculous.  What’s more, she expressed the desire to not see the Navy lower their standards for women, because to be a SEAL, you need the physical conditioning that they require.  I totally get that.

Here’s what bothers me about this idea that women should not join the military – does this guy think that people see female soldiers as Black Widow from the Marvel films?  Yeah, in the regard it sounds ridiculous.  Seeing a woman who weighs very little taking on a ton of guys who would throw her against a wall is kind of silly.  But here’s the thing – that’s fiction.  And anyone with sense knows that.  Real combat, especially in the modern era, is so much different.  The reality is that you will hardly ever see combatants like in a CoD game shooting each other at damn-near point blank range.  In war you typically have combatants exchanging fire over huge amounts of distance and firing a ton of shots with very few hitting home.  Real war is messy, and complicated.  This isn’t Hollywood, and people know this.

But when you hear stories about the Kurdish women fighting ISIS and scoring real victories against them, or how women in Eastern Europe are forming militias that can stand up under fire, it really makes this argument that women should be discourage from serving not only sound kind of stupid, but more than a little sexist.  Can’t wait to see who calls me an SJW for that.  I said that an opinion someone has is sexist.  It’s true.  And I believe it too.  This guy is a sexist idiot who can’t look at reality and see that things are not as simple as rejecting the stereotypes in Hollywood.

Now look, I do firmly believe that the military shouldn’t lower their standards for women.  If you want to serve in a combat role, then you damn well should prove that you can measure up.  That’s only fair.  Demands for those roles are high, and those who want to take on that responsibility should have to prove themselves.  But while there are going to be less women up to the task than there are men, I whole-heartedly know that such women exist.

The real thing that irks me about the attitude of that guy is that that is part of the reason that the military has such a huge problem with sexual assault.  Sex crimes in the military is a fucking epidemic.  I can’t disclose what I have been told about what they tell women who join up behind closed doors about how to protect themselves, but it is scary stuff. Now granted, there are plenty of guys in the military who have just as much respect for the women they serve with as men.  But it’s like the cops.  You have a job that promotes gung-ho male toughness, you’re gonna get a lot of dumb-shit masculine guys with more penis blood than brain blood.

But the tide may be turning.  Now that women are being allowed into combat roles, things might get better.  For the women looking to serve, just make sure when you go places, you never go alone.  Build up a network of people you can trust.  It’s only smart.  See, unlike the people who say we need to tell men not to rape, I tell you to take sensible precautions because you are in a field where there are plenty of guys who only think with their cocks and leave their morals at the door.

I honestly would love to see the guy who made that video say that shit to one of the Kurdish women fighters.  They’d probably punch him in the dick.

Until next time, a quote,

“We have women in the military, but they don’t put us on the front lines.  They don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill.  I think we can.  All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, ‘you see the enemy over there?  They say you look fat in those uniforms.'” – Elayne Boosler

Peace out,


Rey is a Mary Sue

Alright, this is getting on my nerves.  Been at this stupid argument on Twitter for so long, and I just want to finish it.  So I am going to go into great depths why this character is a complete Mary Sue, while showing you how this could EASILY have been remedied without breaking the “continuity” (I put quotes around that for a reason.  The plot of the two numbered sequels in this franchise is a dumpster fire) of the film.  It would have been so simple.  I am hoping to keep this short as I am tired of this argument and want it to be done.

First, she sure is a master mechanic, pilot, and warrior.  That’s interesting.  Everyone and their sister has already brought this up, and it has been debated.  The strongest defense I’ve seen was “she was a junker and learned how to fight!  She was a master with the staff!”  How do we know this?!  Oh, right, we know this because the official Star Wars page says so!  Um…no.  I’m not accepting some blurb on a website as gospel truth.  That is confirmation bias that I am certain didn’t exist before all of the criticism.

This could have EASILY been remedied in the film.  It would have taken a couple minutes of screen time, at most!  It also could have helped alleviate another reason I call Rey a Mary Sue – her complete lack of a personality outside of having a vagina.  See, they could have had her meeting up with friends on Jakku.  See her talking to some guy who is something of a mentor to her.  With no parents, maybe it was someone who took her in and helped raise her.  Since the films have decided to they will never answer the story of her lack of parents, it opens up the question even more to how she grew up in such a seedy place all by herself.  Have her running to escape and wondering if the person who raised her is okay when they escape in the Millennium Falcon.  Would make for a touching moment when she comes back later and they see how much she’s grown as a person.  You know, if she actually had grown since the last film.  Still a beedy-eyed, boring character.  Well that sucks.

We also could have seen her friends.  I refuse to believe that this girl had no one that she was partial to or at least hung around with.  You don’t survive on some seedy desert planet all by yourself.  No child is that precocious.  That’s fucking Matilda shit right there (not to come down on that movie.  It’s a guilty pleasure).  Have one of her friends train with her on the staff.  Then boom!  She has gotten some unofficial training in learning how to fight!  That’s five minutes of screen-time!  Plus, we could have actually given her a personality!  I hate this character so much.  Not because she’s a woman, but because she’s completely wasted.  There is potential in such a character.  Like having her be Luke’s illegitimate daughter.  Like he saw that she was going to turn to the dark side, and he wanted to keep her as far away from the Force as he could, so he put her on a planet with someone he trusted.  But nope!  She’s just there, and the films want you to forget about that.

Next up, we have her power with the Force.  There is no defending this.  NONE!  Her sudden absolute mastery of the Force is absurd in the extreme.  She had never heard of it before the beginning of TFA, and yet she is able to be a master of it in a matter of days?!  That’s ridiculous!  All of the Mary Sue nay-sayers can’t argue against that.  What’s more, she’s even better than Luke at the Force.  In a matter of days, she is better at using the Force than a Jedi Master?  That’s stupid.  That’s unbelievable.  As in, I literally don’t believe it.  That’s bad writing.  That’s writing of “this woman can’t have a weakness to overcome!  That makes her too much like normal people!”

This character is amazing at everything she does without a single establishment of any skills.  Maybe it’s because we have practically zero time to get to know her in The Force Awakens before the film has to throw her forward.  If only the filmmakers knew what quiet time is, and how to use that properly.  Who knows what could have happened.  A man can dream.

A lot of people say that people like me are just part of the anti-SJW echo chamber.  Got a cousin who says that.  But here’s why this actually bothers me – because there are so many easy ways to have such a character be interesting.  I can think of 20 EASY ways to fix Rey’s character in the films right off the top of my head and make her a genuinely interesting protagonist.  She is so much wasted potential because if they made her too much like a real person, the Tumblrinas wouldn’t be able to shove themselves into her skin.  Part of me was hoping they were going for her being tempted and going to the dark side, while Kylo finds redemption and comes back to the light.  That would be a brilliant twist!  But nope!  Just more boredom.

And I’m done arguing about this.  Gonna share this with the aforementioned cousin just to shut him down forever.

Until next time, a quote,

“Or precocious.  I mean, the things they had you saying on that show, my god, what child talks like that?” – Catherine Stark

Peace out,