Musical Insanity: Vegan Rap

There is a rule that I want to make.  It’s a simple rule, really.  One that should be understood by everyone at this point to be a law.  No joke, break this and I am going to send a fucking honey badger to your house that’s high on Angel Dust.  Yeah, that’s how serious this rule is.  Because between the Privilege Rap to what you are going to see, it is abundantly clear that this rule has a very real place in today’s society.  Actually, this is two rules.  First, stop raps that have a lesson to teach!  They are awful!  Without a single exception, they all suck!  Stop it!

Next – white people need to never rap.  Ever.  We suck at it.  I don’t like rap in general, but the cringing I did on this was even worse than the “Jesus Christ is my Nigga” rap.  By the way, check that out if you want some old white people cringe that is just the best.  If cringe is something you look for.  I can’t handle the white people rapping about feminism, and I most certainly can’t help the most outspoken and annoying group I have had to deal with offline doing this.  Let’s take a look at the Vegan Rap.  Ugh…

Where do I begin.  For starters, we have the older people trying to be hip for the youth at least staying with the beat.  But their lyrics.  It rhymes for the first paired lines, but then we have this skinny guy come in and interrupt the second pair with the moral lesson – don’t use animal as an insult.  Bitch, I’ll use whatever I like as an insult.  But I’m not calling fatties a cow.  I’m calling them a heifer.  Get your terminology straight.

Next up we have the lady saying if you eat like a pig, she won’t use that term with you.  I will.  If someone eats shit food like a hog, they’ve earned the terminology.  Oh right, I’m fat-shaming.  Too bad.  If you are going to slobber down slop in front of me, I’m judging you for it.  Any friend of mine knows that I’m an asshole.  That’s part of my charm.  But then this skinny dude comes back to interrupt the next rhyme again with this woman.  Now he has a prolonged lesson to teach – that using animals as an insult is “speciesist.”  When will SJWs get this term added to the dictionary.  We’ve already god mansplaining in there, so why not?

I feel so bad for these people trapped in this terrible rap with this skinny guy.  It’s so abundantly clear that he is the driving force behind this, and these people are stuck there.  It reminds me of the podcast I watched called Drunken Peasants.  They had this woman and her public access show, who talked about dick endlessly, and she had this older woman with her whose only job seemed to be reacting to the crazy shit she said.  That woman looked trapped, and I felt bad for her.  I feel bad for these people too.

There is an abrupt transition to the guy singing again, saying that if you avoid thinking, he won’t call you a sheep.  I might not call you that either.  I’ll probably just call you stupid.  So there ya go, trapped guy.  I feel you on that one.  But I might call you a sheep if you blindly accept the stupid shit that those in power or the group goes with without thinking about it.  It is what it is.

We then go back to the lady, who says if you are a cowardly little bitch, she isn’t going to call you a chicken.  Neither will I, lady.  I’ll call them cowardly, little bitch, frightful, lacking guts, easily scared, wuss, pussy, or a cabal of other insults to insinuate that someone is lacking in courage.  Now the dude is back.  I guess he talks about his moral lessons after the woman speaks.  Okay.  The lines are the same, whatever, now I have to focus on this guy’s dancing.  There’s a website I want you all to check out.  It’s mancan.com.  I came across this at my employment.  If there isn’t a white background at the start when the page loads, refresh a few times.  Might take a bit.  But then you’ll have this white background appear, and in frame will come this dancing man.  He’s terrible.  It’s so beautifully cringey.  The joke I have my coworkers is that this man cannot.  Other mancan, but this man cannot.  It’s kind of an inside thing.  But looking at vegan skinny man, it make me think of that.

Now we’re back to the guy.  He says that if you are disloyal and we have a fight, he won’t call you a rat.  Okay, you have it right with the first bit, but not the second.  It’s not when we have a fight that you’re a rat.  It’s when I do something and you go to the authorities or one in charge of an organization or event and snitch on me.  Being snitch is what earns you that name.  And I’ll call you that if that’s what you’re being.  You look like a snitch.  No offense.

It goes over to the lady, and this one is just bizarre.  We have her talking about a person who checks ladies out being called a dog.  What?  For one, I call don’t call people a dog, I call them a bitch.  That’s a female dog.  Get your terminology straight.  Next, in the context of the usage of dog, it’s more someone who is a horny bastard and not ashamed of it.  So in both instances, your rebuking of this term is flawed.

Oh hey!  We do have someone calling out the usage of the term bitch.  Fantastic.  And I don’t call someone a bitch because they aren’t rich.  By the way, that’s actually a pretty good rhyme.  Your syllable usage can stand some work, but that rhyme was on point.  I call someone a bitch if they are being a pathetic, measly little worm that I don’t wanna give the time of day.  Or, if they are an unpleasant, awful human being, who is being unpleasant to me in a way only females can be.  Though if guy is so effeminate that he exhibits those behaviors, I’ll call him out on it too.

We have the lady back calling out the usage of the term “snake” for those who lie and break someone’s trust.  I always saw that as someone who stabs you in the back.  Or someone who pretends to be your friend and then betrays you.  I’ve used that term a few times.  We have the skinny guy back, and his dancing just gets worse!  These poor people.  I can feel them cringing with me on this.  Who was this made for?!

And it fades out with him and his repeated line. This was so much cringe.  I will likely never watch this again.  It wasn’t fun cringe.  I can watch “Jesus Christ is my Nigga” til the cows come home because it’s pretty funny.  This?  It was not.  Just the saddest attempt to reach an audience people that I don’t know who it is.  I don’t know who this is made for.  Vegans?  Non-vegans?  I don’t know.

Stop rapping, white people!  Not because it’s “cultural appropriation,” because that term is bullshit, but because you fucking suck at it!

Until next time, a quote,

“That was hilarious because you fucking suck!” – Your Movie Sucks

Peace out,

Maverick

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Let’s Answer 100 Ways White People Can Make People Less Frustrating for People of Color

What a Title.  Yes, I am aware that I said two posts ago that I was never going to do this again.  I may end up horribly regretting this decision.  But I found out today that I had unknown members in my audience who keep up regularly, and knowing that I have an audience and they love my stuff is compelling me to keep the content flowing and to try and keep it fresh.  Plus, I got to thinking – there are people who buy into this shit.  There are actual people in the actual world who think that these lists aren’t complete and utterly bullshit and take their premises without a second thought.  That not only blows my mind, but also kind of bothers me.  How many kids today read this shit and take it as gospel.  This type of dogmatic thinking needs to stop, so let’s do this.

I have said before that I HATE the term “people of color.”  It’s and “of” and “ed” away from “colored people.”  I figure they might address this complain, so I’ll head it off here.  Here’s a link to the post, now let’s see what they got.

1. Just because you can’t see racism around you doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Trust people of color’s assessment of a situation.

I can’t do that.  I’ve seen FAR too many instance of the social justice idiots declaring things that are not remotely racist to be racism.  Ever heard of “digital blackface?”  It’s when a white person shares a GIF of a black person.  When you have these people calling shit like this racism, then I’m sorry but I have to take what you all say with a grain of salt.

2. Don’t assume that all people of color share the same views. We are not a monolith.

And yet, here you are, having made a list that we are to assume is to be universally applied.  Idiot!

3. Don’t assume or guess people’s races. This is NOT a fun game for us.

Unless I know you on a personal level, I don’t give a fuck what your race is.  I work with two Asian Americans, and since I am tight with them, we have talked about their racial identity.  Thankfully, they are from Asian heritage, so they don’t have the stick up their ass that some other ethnic groups do.

4. If someone tells you they’re from Uganda, don’t say, “I went to Nigeria once!” Just, please.

No.  Don’t tell me how to talk to people, bitch.  If I find out someone is from a part of the world that I have been around, and I feel like it’s a good talking point, then I will do that.  Fuck off.

5. Related: Don’t refer to Africa as a country. It’s a continent and it’s wildly varied. Yes. Take a moment.

America is the stupidest First World country.  It’s a fact.  You saying this is basically just asking for the sky not to be blue.  It’s a cute suggestion.  By the way, got to your average American college and see how many people say that it’s a country.  Go watch your faith in the human race die.

6. Oh, and rest assured that literally no person of color ever wants you to get back from holiday, show off your tan and excitedly exclaim, “Look, I’m almost as dark as you!” Cease and desist.

In my last post, I talked about a place called “Shit That Never Happens Land,” let’s add this to the list.  Also, it’s amazing how you say this is for all “people of color,” when most of your examples thus far are pretty fucking specific.

7. Don’t assume that a person of color knows everything about their country of heritage. Do you know everything there is to know about America? Germany? Sweden? That’s what I thought.

I don’t assume that.  Stop putting words in my mouth.

8. Don’t assume we can run if we’re Black, do math if we’re Asian, have drinking problems if we’re indigenous…

Don’t assume that women drown their babies, or white people hate black people simply by virtue of their existence.  How about we all give up bad stereotypes.

9. Regard us as autonomous, unique individuals, not as representatives of our race.

You already brought this up in a previous point.  Already running out of ideas?  We’re only 9 in on this list.

10. Don’t make embarrassing jokes to try and be “down” with people of color. We’ll laugh at you, not with you.

This is oddly specific.  Not to mention, I get the feeling the person who did this is one of your “intersectional” allies.  These are the white people you create when you have social justice telling us to hate ourselves and raise you up as the paragon virtue.

11. Don’t rinse our culturally specific memes. They’re ours. Go enjoy that weird one about the plums.

This is also oddly specific.  What are you talking about?

12. If you’re at my house party, don’t turn off the Weeknd to put on Arctic Monkeys. (Okay this one is very specific but it happened to me once and I’m not over it. The audacity!)

Is this bitch trolling?  I’m starting to think this bitch is trolling.

13. Avoid phrases like “But I have a Black friend! I can’t be racist!” You know that’s BS as well as we do.

Um, no.  If you hate people of an ethnic group, you’re not going to have friends in that group.  Why would you befriend people who you hate?  Also, nobody says they aren’t racist because they have a black friend.  I’m convinced this is a talking point you all invented because somebody at some point said it, so now it’s ad nauseum for all white people.

14. When you endlessly complain about how terrible white people are, you are being that terrible white person. Jeez.

Again, this is your baby.  You made this.  Don’t shit on what you created.

15. Don’t say shit like, “I know what it’s like to be a person of color…I’m a ginger!”

Given how, historically, being a ginger was associated with Irish heritage, you might wanna learn some history about how the Irish were treated like shit in this country.  For a group of people who goes on and on and on and ON about history like that has some bearing on modern culture, they have just as much of a right to get in on the fun as you do.

16. Don’t question someone’s Blackness if they’re light-skinned. It’s not your place. Other Black people can make sure that light-skinned Black people are cognizant of their privilege.

What white person has ever done this?!  The only people I hear bitching about lighter skinned black people are you all.

17. Never try and tell a person of color what is or isn’t racist.

No.  You all ignore nuance like the plague.  Sorry if I refuse to play ball (not sorry).

18. When you find instances of racist bullshit online, please don’t send it to us. We know racism exists, thanks.

I don’t want to deal with you ever again after dealing with your bullshit list, so yeah.

19. Read something already written about it rather than coming to your friends/acquaintances of color looking for hot takes on anything and everything appropriative a Kardashian/Miley Cyrus does. We don’t wanna think about this shit 24/7!

You all are the ones bitching about Kanye ad infinitum!  The ones I see online doing the most bitching about pop culture are black people.  Maybe I am just lucky enough to hang out with nerds and skeptics, but still.

20. Understand that some days are even more mentally exhausting for people of color thanks to the news cycle. Try not to badger us for our opinions on the latest atrocity that has occurred. Leave us to grieve.

I’ll talk about whatever the fuck I want.  Thanks.

21. But when we do have something to say about it, listen.

No.  I think you’re an idiot.  Why would I listen to you?

22. Share articles relating to the everyday experiences of race and racism written by people of color.

No.  A lot of this shit is stupid crap like the stuff you’ve listed here.  Why would I share that stuff?

23. But don’t be that person who is weird and sycophantic and loves to demonstrate their wokeness constantly to the people of color around them. Be thoughtful.

Your baby.  Your fault.  Fuck you.

24. Read books by people of color. I recommend Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde, The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander and literally everything that Junot Diaz writes for great insights into Blackness.

I don’t read books about social justice.  Period.  Find me an author who isn’t white that has written good science fiction or fantasy?  I did read NeXus recently, and that was written by a guy who isn’t white, so find me more and I’ll consider it.

25. Watch shows that are created by people of color i.e. Atlanta or Insecure. (Seriously, if you haven’t seen Atlanta, you need to watch it. Now.)

No!  Stop telling me what to watch!  I comb through lists, and if I like it, I’ll watch it.  But don’t tell me what to do with my free time!  Bitch.

26. Have a critical eye when watching TV and movies. How are they portraying people of color and why? What purpose does it serve?

You know what I’m gonna do instead of that?  I’m gonna ask – how are they portraying characters.  Not just the “people of color.”  Because rather than wanting good characters of other ethnic groups, I want good characters.  I know, I’m such a piece of shit.

27. If you go to an art gallery, notice how many works are by people of color. If it’s lacking, make some noise, send an email, query the curator. White people shouldn’t have a monopoly on what can be considered art.

No!  If you don’t like what an art gallery is showing, start your own!  Stop telling the rest of the world to suck your dick.  You can go out and do your own shit.  Make your own movies, your own art, and your own art gallery to show it off.

28. If a character you assumed was white in a book is portrayed by an actor of color in the movie, embrace it. Whiteness is not the default.

This just ties into a point I’ve made 1000 times about how you all would rather the rest of popular culture cater to you rather than making your own shit.  See how well it’s done for you so far *cough*The Dark Tower!*cough*

29. Support plays written by and acted in by people of color. The world of theater is overwhelmingly white.

Tell you what, boo, you show me a play by “people of color” in my area, and I’ll see if I want to check it out.  But if I do, I’ll do a review, and don’t expect me to treat it with kid gloves.  If it sucks, I’m gonna call it out for that.

30. Refuse to go to club nights or drag shows or burlesque nights that use culturally appropriative acts.

No.  Cultural appropriation is bullshit.

31. If you have kids, buy them dolls of color and books with characters of color.

No.  If I have a kid, I’m gonna help them to cultivate their own interests.  I’ll show them the books I loved as a kid, and some of those do have characters of color, but not all.

32. Support crowdfunding campaigns for cultural products created by people of color if you can.

No.  Crowd-funding is a real good way to get scammed.  Ask Anita Sarkeesian how that works.

33. Donate money to grassroots movements around you that are run by and support people of color.

If the movement has a cause I can get behind, I’d consider it.  I don’t just look at a movement and go “black people are there!  I will support that!”  That’s how we got people like Barack Obama, who turned his back on the liberals who got him elected based on all the “hope” and “change” bullshit.  Don’t you feel foolish (same with the Trump supporters who believed he would “drain the swamp”)?

34. Support small businesses owned by people of color.

If they sell something I want.

35. If you’re upper or middle class try to avoid moving into an area that has historically been populated by low-income people of color. Gentrification tears communities apart.

No, it doesn’t.  It makes communities look nicer.  The whole “broken windows theory.”  If you want black communities to not be so infested by poverty, I suggest you lobby to end the drug war.  That will do more to help this problem them telling white people to stay away while low-income communities tear themselves apart.  By the way, I couldn’t help but notice you only said low-income communities populated by “people of color.”  So I guess the low-income communities with white people can go fuck themselves?

36. Don’t assume people of color can’t speak English.

I don’t.

37. But also be patient if our English isn’t perfect. Are you bi/tri/multi-lingual? Probably not. It’s hard.

Yeah, if you’re learning a language as a grown-up.  The older you get, the harder it becomes.  I know this kid whose dad is Russian, his mother is Brazilian.  He can speak Russian to his dad, Portuguese to his mom, and English to us totally interchangeably.  It was pretty crazy.  But to your point, I worked in a call center.  Thank Groj later on we got a translator service.  Saved me a lot of headache that I covered with absolute professionalism.

38. In general, just don’t assume we want to be white or want to assimilate. And don’t pressure us to do so.

So, you don’t want to be a part of a community or on good terms with another ethnic group?  Fantastic.  Then don’t be mad when other ethnic groups want nothing to do with you.  We can all have our little homogenized bubbles.  Because that’s what makes for an engaging world.  Fucking moron.

39. Recognize that you can’t assume someone’s religion based on how they look. Not all South Asians and Middle Eastern people are Muslims, not all Black people are Christian, not all East Asian people are Buddhist. You get the idea.

I don’t.  You all are the ones who said that being anti-Islam is racist.  Don’t blame us when your chickens come home to roost.

40. Remember that not all people of color are straight.

I don’t assume that.

41. Remember that people of color are not inherently more homophobic than white people.

The black community in this country is historically VERY homophobic.  Remember Prop 8 in California?  The black community of that state was staggeringly against it.  Things have gotten better when Obama came out in support of the LGBT community, but it isn’t great.  Also, Middle Eastern people have no room to talk about this.  Ever.

42. People can be Black and gay and disabled and trans and middle class. Blackness is expansive. It doesn’t look one way. Keep this in mind.

O-kay….

43. When we talk about race, we’re not just talking about men! Repeat after me: Intersections of race and gender exist.

Who just assumes it’s men?  We’re back in “Shit that Never Happens Land.”

44. Remember that it is Black women and Native women and mixed race women who are most likely to be raped in their lifetimes in America. You cannot be an advocate against sexual violence without considering the impact of race.

I come from a state where rape is damn-near an epidemic.  It’s all over the place because of bush communities of natives, where not only do sex crimes often go unreported, but there are cultural elements at play.  Not to mention, in the bush, the white man is often not a welcome sight.  There are women who would NEVER go anywhere in a native village alone.  Sexual violence is an ugly thing, and the worst part about it is that in your efforts to make it all about your ethnic group, you ignore factors outside of race.

45. Don’t ask Black women if it’s our “real hair.” And don’t judge Black women for wearing wigs or weaves or having relaxers.

I don’t give a shit about your hair.

46. Don’t touch our fucking hair.

Wasn’t planning to.

47. If you have a Black girlfriend, please make sure that your shower is always adequately stocked with conditioner. Never that 2-in-1 stuff!!! We beg you.

No.  Last I checked, she’s a grown woman and can buy her own.  That’s on her.

48. Never try and pull any uninvited “race play” shit in the bedroom. Seriously, what the fuck?

Last I checked, what two people do in the privacy of their bedroom is none of your fucking business.

49. Actively try to identify and unsubscribe from orientalist tropes i.e. believing that East Asian women are naturally more submissive or docile. People of color are people, not characters.

It’s white women I assume to be more submissive and docile, boo.

50. If you call a woman of color “exotic,” you deserve to stub your toe every day for a year. Do. Not. Do. This.

“Shit that Never Happens Land.”

51. Also, saying “I’ve never fucked a Black/Asian/Native etc. person” to someone you’re trying to hook up with is a one way ticket to hell.

Don’t believe in Hell.  This means nothing to me.

52. If you have such fetishistic thoughts, just don’t even bother coming near a person of color.

What I may or may not find sexually appealing is none of your fucking business.  Fuck you.  You do you, and I’ll do me.

53. Remember that having mixed race children is not a cure for racism or a way to live out weird racial fantasies.

Nobody has ever thought this.  Ever.

54. If you’re trying to start a mixed raced family, sit down and deeply interrogate your intentions.

Why?  If you want to start a family with the person you are involved with, typically it comes from a place of “I care very deeply for this person and want to start a family with them.”  But that aside, the reasons they start a family are none of your fucking business.

55. If you do have mixed race children, make sure that they have access to people who look like them and who understand their experiences.

I’ll let them choose their friends  Thanks.

56. If you have a partner of color or children of color, trust and believe that you can still be racist. You’re not exempt. If anything, you have even more of a duty to examine your behavior for the benefit of your loved ones.

No, I don’t.  I have a duty to do the best for my family, and that’s it.  Your social justice bullshit has no part of my family’s life.

57. Take your racist family members to task for the shit they say over the dinner table or via social media.

No.  I believe they have the right to say whatever hateful shit they want.  Unlike you, I actually believe in freedom of speech.  If they ask my opinion on what they said, I’ll convey my belief that it’s racist, but trust me, they don’t ask.  I’m the liberal on a conservative extended family.  They don’t ask.

58. Confront your colleagues who say racist shit unchecked at work.

My colleagues are professionals in an environment with high professionalism standards.  Trust me, the boss would ream them a new one if they said something like “don’t you all hate niggers?”  Oh no!  I said a word that is racially insensitive in the context of what a potential person might say if they were unprofessional and racist!  That must mean I’m a horrible racist!  Oh no!

59. Look around your workplace—are the only people of color cleaners or assistants? What can you do to change that? (The answer is almost never “nothing.”)

Nope.  Our cleaning lady is an old white gal who is a very pleasant individual, and we have a broad spectrum of people with various ethnic groups who are office assistants and caseworkers at my job.  So yeah, we’re just fine.  Thanks for asking.

60. If someone asks you to fill a role that you think a person of color would be better suited for, recommend a talented person of color who you know and forego the position yourself.

Uh, fuck you.  If there’s a chance to get a better position and not have to be in such crushing financial dire straits, I’m going to take it.  I’m already under enough pressure since I live in poverty now.

61. Don’t make us be the de facto diversity guy at work. Or at least pay us extra to do the labor of diversifying the workplace.

In my office, we hire people based on qualifications.  And everyone is paid the same.  That’s how equality works.  Sorry we don’t go out of our way to kiss your ass (not sorry).

62. Refuse to speak on an all-white panel. Regardless of the topic.

No.

63. If there are only a couple of people of color in your seminar, don’t weirdly stare at them when the lecturer poses questions about race and expect them to answer everything.

I don’t attend seminars.  They’re boring.

64. If you’re in charge of making curricula, make sure there is work by people of color, especially women of color, on the reading list. And not just in the weeks dedicated to race.

No.  I’m gonna put in those who I believe to be the best minds on the subject that I’m teaching.  I actually want students to learn.  I know, shocking in a country as stupid as America.

65. Commission people of color to make work about race.

If they have the credentials to show they have studied it in an in-depth way.

66. Commission people of color to make work that has nothing to do with race.

If they have the qualifications I’m looking for.

67. Don’t say things like “there are two sides to every story!” or play devil’s advocate when it comes to conversations about race.

No!  I refuse to “listen and believe” like you all want.  I do this weird thinking thing.  It’s why I left religion and never went to your church of social justice.  All seemed kind of silly to me.

68. In those situations, just listen.

NO!

69. It’s never useful to say stuff like, “But what about the white working class!!!” Have you thought about non-white working class people’s needs?

Right back at ya, sugar-tits.  Except about the first part.

70. Don’t? Vote? For? Racist? Politicians? Can’t believe I need to say this one but it seems like possibly, maybe, some of y’all did not get this memo.

Unless it’s a candidate I believe in, I don’t vote.  I voted in the primary for Bernie Sanders, but then saw Shillary rig the primary against him.  A nice reminder to me that the party supposedly for the people has systems in place in case a candidate for the people actually comes along.  A lesson I feel Democrats have forgotten.

71. Research your candidates. Who has progressive policies that won’t needlessly criminalize people of color? Vote for them.

What “progressive” policies needlessly criminalize “people of color?”  The progressive ideas I am for are things like ending the drug war, which would help an area where black people are most definitely being racially discriminated against.  So yeah, gonna need some examples on this one.

72. Remember that Black women are not here to save you from yourselves. You’ve gotta put in the work, too.

Nobody thinks this way.  Nobody.

73. Be cognizant of how your whiteness could be weaponized against Black people. i.e. white women, don’t play into stereotypes about Black men being inherently threatening to you. It gets Black men killed. See: Emmett Till.

My attributes aren’t weaponized against anyone.  Find me an example of how I, personally, am having the fact that I’m white used against anyone (you have to be specific of who) and I’ll take that argument and beat the shit out of it.

74. Use your white privilege to be on the frontline between people of color and the police at protests. You’re at much less risk than us.

I wouldn’t be caught dead at one of your protests.

75. Record police encounters you see involving Black people.

No.

76. Share alerts when ICE is planning a raid.

No.

77. Stand up to Islamophobia wherever you see it.

No.

78. If you have ever thought a phrase like “Black lives matter” is too assertive, consider why you’re so uncomfortable with Black people standing up for our humanity.

Too assertive?  Is that we call the chant “What do we want?  Dead cops!  When do we want it?  Now!”  Or is that what we call when they are smashing cars and committing property damage?  Or maybe it’s what we call when they have members saying things like telling a white couple who had a baby that their baby should die because it’s white?  Yeah, I’ll call them all sorts of negative things.  Your pathetic attempts at damage control do NOTHING to help your cause.

79. Listen when Black people say, “I’m not comfortable in this situation.” You’ve seen Get Out, haven’t you?

Because fiction is reality!

80. If you haven’t seen Get Out, watch Get Out. Understand that the everyday horror is real.

A film with racial undertones is real.  You people literally can’t distinguish fantasy from reality.  And you wonder why you aren’t taken seriously.  Huh, it’s a fucking mystery.

81. Question whether you have double standards when it comes to drugs. Do you think it’s cool when white weed entrepreneurs make tons of money but think that Black people who are found to have traces of marijuana in their systems deserve to be thrown in prison?

I don’t think that, actually.  I want to end the drug war, because it is destroying this country.  So yeah, totally covered on this one.

82. Don’t have dreadlocks if you’re not Black, just don’t. Beyond being offensive, it’s just not suited to your hair type. Do literally anything else with your hair.

I’ll do whatever the fuck I like with what little hair I have, and you can keep your fucking mouth shut, bitch.

83. Don’t refer to things as your “spirit animal” if you’re not Native. There are other ways to express affinity with something.

I’ll do whatever I like.

84. Do not compare the exploitation of animals to racism. Ever. I’m deadly serious.

I don’t care if you’re serious.  I’ll do whatever the fuck I like.

85. I can’t believe I even need to say this in 2018 but here we go: Don’t wear Blackface.

Who does this?  Outside of edgelords, who does this?

86. Don’t even think about saying the N word. Even if you’re alone. Even if you’re listening to rap. Even if you’re alone and listening to rap.

If I’m listening to 2pac and I hear him say “nigga,” and I’m rapping along, I’ll say whatever I like.  It’s a word.  The power you give it over you it is up to you.

87. Similarly, don’t use the word “g*psy” or “p*ki” or “r*dskin” or any other racial slur. Even if you’re repeating what someone else said or reading from a text.

Like how I call my girly-mate who I met traveling from place to place “gypsy girl” or talking about the Redskins football team?  Like that?

88. That includes the word “colored.” “Person of color” and “colored” are not the same. Trust me.

You’re right, one of them is an “of” and “ed” away from the other.

89. Understand that America has what it has because it stole land from indigenous people and stole people from Africa.

Understand that what’s done is done, and it’s time to move on.  I wasn’t there, and neither was anyone in this generation or the last.  The last three generations have never owned a slave or killed an Indian.  I’m not gonna be held to account for the actions of my ancestors. Sorry (not sorry).

90. Care about race on the 364 days that aren’t Martin Luther King Jr. day.

I care about all sorts of things all sorts of days.  Stop telling me how to live my life.

91. Also, don’t whitewash his legacy and use it to argue that Black people should just take what they’re given lying down.

You all are the ones who dilute that shit down.  Like how you try and ignore the fact that, towards the end of his life, he was much more against income inequality than racial inequality.  He said once that a poor white person and a poor black person have more in common than a poor white person and a rich white one.  So yeah, there’s something you could be championing.  But wait, that doesn’t fit the narrative.

92.Think about how race is operating even when people of color aren’t around. Be cognizant of it wherever you are, whichever situation you’re in. People of color have to, so should you.

I swear, you people should have “it’s because I’m black, isn’t it?” tattooed on your fucking foreheads.

93. Remember that your queerness/womanhood/transness/class background/disability doesn’t exclude you from white privilege.

You were born with Original Sin!  Come into our church so you might be cleansed!

94. Make your feminism useful to all women rather than calling yourself an ‘intersectional feminist’. Show, don’t tell.

Not a feminist.  I’m an egalitarian.

95. Don’t assume, full stop, that you can understand what it’s like to experience racism. You can’t. That’s the whole point.

If someone treats me bad because I’m white, then I can understand.  Thankfully, I’m a fucking giant who walks around with my resting face looking like “fuck off.”  People tend to leave me alone.

96. Understand that nothing in your life has been untouched by your whiteness. Everything you have would have been harder to come by if you had not been born white.

I have had to scratch and claw for everything I’ve gotten.  I haven’t been given a single thing by life, ever!  I bust my fucking ass to get anything.  Don’t you fucking tell me how life is just going out of its way to give me things.  Fuck you!

97. Be grateful for the lesson when you’re called out on racism, getting defensive won’t help.

Not a racist, so calling me one pisses me off.

98. Move past your white guilt. Guilt is an unproductive emotion. Don’t sit there mired in woe, just be better.

Don’t have white guilt.  Fuck off.

99. Recognize that fighting racism isn’t about you, it’s not about your feelings; it’s about liberating people of color from a world that tries to crush us at every turn.

Oh you poor baby.  You have it so fucking hard, here in the First World.  Where you aren’t the victim of random acts of violence by an dictatorial regime, or religious persecution, or like in the Congo, where rape is used as a weapon of military terror.  I feel so bad for you…

100. And remember: Being an ally is a verb, not a noun. You can’t just magically be an ally to people of color because you say you’re one, it’s something that you must continually work on.

Not an ally.  Fuck off.

Until next time, a quote,

“Never argue with stupid people.  They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” – Mark Twain

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Answer 100 Easy Ways to Make Women’s Lives More Bearable

Because women have it so fucking hard.  Especially in the First World.  While women in Africa get their genitals mutilated, and women in the Middle East are subject to ACTUAL misogyny courtesy of a religion that teaches that it’s perfectly acceptable to beat them if they get out of line, because the man is stronger than the woman and it is his place to tell her what’s-what.  That’s Islam, in case you didn’t know.  A religion that the left suck’s the cock of, which just baffles me since they call everything under the sun sexist.  I guess SyeTenAtheist was right after all.  But don’t you worry, men.  There is a list published of 100 ways to make women’s lives “more bearable.”  I’m sure this isn’t going to be the cringiest thing ever.  Nope, not even a little.  Here’s a link to it, now let’s get on with this.

1. Before explaining something to a woman, ask yourself if she might already understand. She may know more about it than you do.

I don’t explain things to people unless they ask.  I don’t give a fuck if they are ignorant.  I’m perfectly fine with letting people wallow in their own stupidity.  I live in America, after all.  Dumb ain’t hard to find here.  If she is asking for me to explain something, then she wants to know about it and I have been given an answer to if she knows more about it than I do.

2. Related: Never, ever try to explain feminism to a woman.

Here’s my explanation – a values system that has been horribly twisted into a PC buzzword battle here in the First World, but would be very useful in the Third World.  Like in countries where women have to wear a burka or else they get beaten, and where if a woman claims to be raped and she doesn’t have three witnesses, she’s a lying whore and can be beaten by law.  Countries like that could use it.

3. Trans women are women. Repeat that until you perish.

They identify as women, and I have no problem with that.  Identify as whatever you like, sugar-tits.  If they haven’t completely transitioned, then they are still biologically male, but they can identify as female and I have no issue.  Doesn’t bother me or even concern me in the slightest.

4. RESPECT PEOPLE’S PRONOUNS. It’s not hard.

I couldn’t agree more!  My pronouns are master/master/master.  So when you talk about me, it has to be “master said that I’m stupid.”  By the way, what does this have to do with making women’s lives more bearable?  This seems like a pet peeve of yours that has nothing to do with women as a larger demographic.

5. Remember that fat women exist and aren’t all trying to get thin. Treat them with respect.

I treat everyone the way I would want to be treated.  The Golden Rule.

6. In fact, just never comment on a woman’s body.

If she asks for my opinion, I’m going to give it.  If she doesn’t like the answer, she shouldn’t have asked the question, should she have?

7. Be kind to women in customer service positions. Tip them extra. (But not in a creepy way.)

I tip people in customer service based on their quality of service.  If my waitress is doing poorly, she’s getting a bad tip.  Sorry, not sorry.

8. Trust women. When they teach you something, don’t feel the need to go and check for yourself. And especially do not Google it in front of them.

Um, no.  If I hear some female tell me that women have magical wings attached to their butts, I’m going to Google right in front of them and show them that there is ZERO evidence of that contention.  If you say something stupid in front of me, I’m going to revel in showing how dumb you are.  Granted, if I know that a woman is an expert on something, I will listen with rapt attention.  Like how my girly-mate in the Navy talks about military life, I find it engrossing beyond belief.

9. Don’t maintain a double standard for… anything, ever.

Oh boy does that not bode well for feminism.  Hey, how’s that double-standard about if a partner is drunk during sex it’s rape?  Only applies to women in every single piece of propaganda I have heard about it.  Or if you don’t ask for consent every ten minutes, it’s rape.  If she initiated sex with you and she doesn’t keep asking, is it rape?  There are a LITANY of double-standards associated with modern, First World feminism that you lot are perfectly happy to ignore.

10. CLOSE YOUR LEGS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT, OH MY GOD.

If there is someone looking to sit, I’ll move.  If there’s no one around, I’ll let my balls have some room.  Your ignorance on male anatomy is quite something.

11. Trying to describe a woman positively? Say she’s “talented,” “clever,” or “funny.” Not “gorgeous,” “sweet,” or “cute.”

If she is being talented or clever, I’ll say that.  If she is trying something on or doing her makeup and is looking for validation that it looks good, I’ll tell her she’s cute or gorgeous or any number of positive attributes associated with one’s appearance.  Don’t fucking tell me how to talk to my people, bitch.

12. Examine your language when talking about women. Get rid of “irrational,” “dramatic,” “bossy,” and “badgering” immediately.

No.  If that’s what they’re being, I’ll call them out on it.  Sorry if that bugs you (not really).

13. Don’t think to yourself, I describe men like that too. A) You probably don’t. B) If you do, it’s to criticize them for acting like a woman.

Um, no.  I describe them as such if they’re being irrational, dramatic, bossy, or badgering.  I don’t associated adjectives with exclusively one gender.  Stop forcing your beliefs and values system on me.  I don’t appreciate it.

14. Do you love “fiery” Latina women? “Strong” Black women? “Mysterious” Asian women? Stop. Pick up a book on decolonial feminism. Read.

No again.  I love smart, nerdy, interesting, thoughtful, loyal, or empathetic Latina, black, or Asian women.  Don’t tell me how I think about these people.  You are really forcing your personal insecurities on everyone else with this.  I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

15. Stop calling women “feisty.” We don’t need a special lady word for “has an opinion.”

Yeah, this is all just your personal insecurities.  I don’t describe women as feisty for having opinions.  I consider them feisty if they like it rough during sex.  If they have a lot of opinions, I consider them principled.

16. Recognize women’s credibility when you introduce them. “Donna is lovely” is much less useful than “Donna knows shitloads about architecture.”

What?  I’m not following.  I don’t introduce somebody as lovely.  I introduce them as my girly-mate who I know from work, or college, or grew up with, or who is in the Navy.  There are many terms I use to introduce people.  I’m not her agent.  It’s not my job to pimp out her credentials.  I believe she is smart and capable enough to do that on her own.  Way to show how “empowered” women are.

17. Think about how you describe the young women in your family. Celebrate them for being funny and smart, not for being pretty and compliant.

I have never raised being compliant as a virtue to extol.  If the person is smart or funny, I will refer to them as such.  If they are dumb as shit but look good, I’ll say they’re pretty.  I’m not gonna give people credit they haven’t earned.  America does that too much as it is.

18. Examine the way you talk about women you’re attracted to. Fat women, old women, queer, trans, and powerful women are not your “guilty crush.”

I don’t have “guilty crushes.”  I have women I am attracted to.  Sounds like you are forcing more of your insecurities on people.  Don’t put that on me.

19. Learn to praise a woman without demonizing other women. “You’re not like other girls” is not a compliment. I want to be like other girls. Other girls are awesome.

Boy is this telling about the feminist mindset.  You don’t want to be unique.  You want to be a fucking hive mind.  Good to know.  Go join the Borg, bitch.  As for me, I extol people who are unique.  The biggest insult I can give for someone is to call them plastic.  Fake.  Just like everybody else.

20. Share writing by women. Don’t paraphrase their work in your own Facebook post to show us all how smart or woke you are. I guarantee the woman said it better in the first place.

I’ll share the writing of women when I find it worth sharing.  And typically if I share someone’s post, I’ll just be hitting share.  So yeah, that is dumb.

21. Buy sanitary pads and tampons and donate them to a homeless shelter. Just do it.

No.  Don’t tell me what to do with my money.

22. How much of what you are watching/reading/listening to was made by women? Gender balance your bookcase.

No!  Tell you what, you find me some great female science fiction, fantasy, or corporate espionage fiction and recommend it to me, I’ll check it out.  I judge works based on the works, not who wrote or directed them.  If that’s a problem, too fucking bad.  Go write some good literature or direct some good movies.  I’ll be right here.

23. Feeling proud of your balanced bookcase? Are there women of color there? Trans, queer, and disabled women? Poor women? Always make sure you’re being intersectional.

Oh fuck off.

24. Don’t buy media that demeans women’s experiences, valorizes violence against women, or excludes them entirely from a cast. It’s not enough to oppose those things. You have to actively make them unmarketable.

Examples, bitch.  And don’t say GTA V, because I already don’t own that.  I don’t buy GTA games because if you’ve played one of them, you’ve played them all.  It’s boring.  Tell you what, you list things that you think fit this category and I’ll tell you if I partake of them or not.  And if I do like them, I will be happy to debate with you why I think they are perfectly acceptable.  Good luck.

25. Pay attention to stories with nuanced female characters. It will be interesting, I promise.

I do like nuanced female characters.  I also like nuanced male characters too.  I like characters in my stories to feel human.  How about you?

26. If you read stories to a child, swap the genders.

No

27. Watch women’s sport. And just call it “sports.”

I hate sports

28. Withdraw your support from sports clubs, institutions, and companies that protect and employ rapists and abusers.

I’m glad you brought this up.  So you withdrew your support from Feminist Frequency, correct?  She has a pedophile called Valis77 as her mod on her streams.  Live up to your own standards, bitch.

29. Stop raving about Woody Allen. I don’t care if he shits gold. Find a non-accused-abuser to fanboy over.

I’m not gonna stop liking his films just because of the fact that he has been accused of things.  I am not gonna stop liking films Kevin Spacey was in either.  I can separate the art from the artist.  It’s why I think Ashly Burch is a great voice actress, even though she has retarded-ass opinions and is an SJW.

30. It’s General Leia, not princess. The Doctor has a companion, not an assistant. It’s Doctor Bartlett, not Mrs Madame First Lady.

It’s First Lady Bartlett, bitch.  You’re adding additional honorifics where none were required.  English is hard, apparently.  For you.

31. Cast women in parts written for men. We know how to rule kingdoms, go to war, be, not be, and wait for Godot.

No.  This is another instance of you asking other people to do what you can do yourself.  If you want to have films with women in male roles, go direct them.  Feminists want the rest of the world to do everything for them.  At least the creators of Steven Universe took their SJW ideology and ran with it.  Got infinitely more respect for them than you.

32. Pay for porn.

Sometimes I do.  There are vids from my favorite pornstars they make on Manyvids that I can’t get anywhere else.  The women who prove their chops in porn earn my dough, not just anyone.

33. Recognize that sex work is work. Be an advocate for and ally to sex workers without speaking for them.

I love how you make it impossible to agree with you by adding shit on that wasn’t necessary.  As an example – I do support sex workers.  I want to legalize prostitution so we can get it off the street and help get women away from pimps.  Get establishments that are professional and can be kept safe from STDs and violence.  But you had to add on stupid bullshit about not speaking for them.  I don’t claim to, bitch.  I claim to support their right to have their world legally recognized and regulated.  Fuck.  Feminists make it so hard to agree with them on anything because they have to be so fucking combative in their approach to EVERYTHING.

34. Share political hot takes from women as well as men. They might not be as widely accessible, so look for them.

I follow plenty of women on Twitter with political opinions that run the gamut.  I like nuance in my life.  Do you?

35. Understand that it was never “about ethics in journalism.”

Yeah it was.  Your piss-poor knowledge of history is not my fault.

36. Speak less in meetings today to make space for your women colleagues to share their thoughts. If you’re leading the meeting, make sure women are being heard as much as men.

I never speak in meetings unless I have to.  Don’t have anything to add.  Unless of course snark becomes an attribute that workplaces appreciate.  Granted, if I have a question, I will ask, because I want to learn.  And by the way, at every meeting I have attended, the one leading it has been a woman.  The ratio of men to women in my office is totally XX sided.

37. If a woman makes a good point, say, “That was a good point.” Don’t repeat her point and take credit for it.

Nobody does this.  Nobody, anywhere, does this.  This is in the magical “Shit The Never Happens Land.”

38. Promote women. Their leadership styles may be different than yours. That’s probably a good thing.

If I am running a business, or am in a managerial capacity to promote people at a business, I’ll promote a woman if she is qualified.  If she has proven that she has the capabilities to be promoted.  I judge people individually.  Sorry if that’s a problem (no I’m not).

39. Recruit women on the same salary as men. Even if they don’t ask for it.

Um, no.  Salary negotiations is a skill. It’s one that has to be proven.  I believe that women can measure up, they just have to be better about taking that risk.  It’s science that women are more averse to risk-taking.  That’s not my problem.  You go on and on about how biology is just a construct.  Here’s a chance to prove that.

40. Open doors for women with caring responsibilities by offering flexible employment contracts.

No.  If I am an employer and I have very specific requirements for this position, and they can’t meet those or are unable to work under the requirements specified, that’s on them.  Again, I believe there are plenty of women who are eager to prove themselves who will be up to the challenge.  I love how this whole section devoted to business is basically talking down to women.  Gotta love modern feminism.

41. If you meet a man and a woman at work, do not assume the man is the superior for literally no reason.

I assume that anyone could be a superior at work.  That’s part of why I am courteous in general.  I don’t want to make a bad impression on someone who may have power over me at some point.

42. If you’re wrongly assumed to be more experienced than a woman colleague, correct that person and pass the platform to the woman who knows more.

I have a coworker in my department right now who I direct people to all the time because she has been there vastly longer than I have and if they have questions I figure she can handle them better.  I don’t make some big deal about it.  The only reason they come to me in the first place is because I sit closer to the door and people are lazy.

43. Make a round of tea for the office.

No.

44. Wash it up.

No!

45. If you find you’re only interviewing men for a role, rewrite the job listing so that it’s more welcoming to women.

This is so fucking patronizing to women.  Hey ladies, you are afraid of working at a job because the listing is scary!  Yeah, that doesn’t talk down to women at all.  Unbelievable.

46. Make sure you have women on your interview panel.

If there is a woman at the office who I believe has the criteria to judge who is qualified for the position, then absolutely.  They may not have knowledge of certain things that are involved with this position that would exclude an applicant.  If not, then no.

47. Tell female colleagues what your salary is.

No.  I am under no obligation to tell anyone what my salary is.  Nor should I be expected to.

48. Make sure there’s childcare at your events.

If it’s a family event, sure.  If not, like a Christmas party or something, babysitters exist.  I wanna watch Kelly get drunk and dance naked on the copier with the adults.

49. Don’t schedule breakfast meetings during the school run.

If the meeting is at the start of business, odds are it’s either at 8 or 9.  Not my fault that most schools start then.  If they work for me, they know to already be there at that time anyway.  So they would have already dropped their kids off.  That’s the price you pay for being a parent with a career.  You have to make sacrifices.  They could choose not to have the kid.

50. If you manage a team, make sure that your employees know that you recognize period pain and cystitis as legitimate reasons for a sick day.

If they have the leave hours, fine.  If they don’t, then they don’t get paid.  That’s how leave works in any business I would run.

51. If you have a strict boss (or mom or teacher) who is a woman, she is not a “bitch.” Grow up.

You can be strict without being a bitch.  Plenty of teachers I have looked up to have been just that.  There is a stark difference between a strict and effective leader, and a bitch who just wants to be in charge.  I’m sorry nobody told you that.

52. Expect a woman to do the stuff that’s in her job description. Not the other miscellaneous shit you don’t know how to do yourself.

You ever see those sections on job listings saying there may be other tasks as required?  That’s why.  Because sometimes you get stuck at a job doing the ramshackle shit that has to be done.  If I am a supervisor, then I will assign it.  But they are free to ask for assistance if there is confusion on the task or if they need training.

53. Refuse to speak on an all-male panel.

No.

54. In a Q&A session, only put your hand up if you have A QUESTION. Others didn’t attend to listen to you.

Guess what, nimrod, if I’m at a panel that is a Q&A and I put my hand up, it’s because I have a fucking question!  Condescending bitch.

55. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against trans or non-binary people, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for cis women, too.)

No.  I believe in freedom of speech.  I may not like it, and if they ask if I agree with them on their usage of those slurs, I will tell them I do not, but I believe people are free to say whatever the fuck they want.  I’m not here to tell other people what to think.  Unlike you, I don’t want to be a part of a hive mind.  While I may not agree with some of my people all of the time, I believe that if everyone thinks the same, the world is really fucking boring.  I’m aware that that is something totally antithetical to your view of reality.  You want absolute homogeneity.

56. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against women of other races, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for white women, too.)

See previous answer.

57. If you see women with their hands up, put yours down. This can be taken as a metaphor for a lot of things. Think about it.

Fuck you!  If I have a question, I’m gonna fucking ask!  If Linda asks the question I was going to, I’ll put my hand down, because I got my answer.  But if I want to learn something at work, I am going to fucking ask.

58. Raising a feminist daughter means she’s going to disagree with you. And probably be right. Feel proud, not threatened.

If I have a daughter, I am going to expose her to what a toxic, patronizing, sexist, dogmatic hive modern feminism is.  Believe you me, I will be exposing her to that, and it will be an eye-opening experience for her.

59. Teach your sons to listen to girls, give them space, believe them, and elevate them.

I’ll teach my sons and daughters to treat other people with empathy.  Unlike you, I don’t have a double-standard.  Which reminds me, you belief about not having double-standards, this list is a LITANY of them all on its own.  You are so full of shit.

60. Dads, buy your daughter tampons, make her hot water bottles, wash her bras. Show her that her body isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Honey, I have lived with a couple of women.  I’ve bought tampons for them, washed their clothes.  I am not afraid of girl stuff.  This is another belief that you have with no basis in reality.  As for showing her that her body is nothing to be afraid of, if I have a daughter, I will dread the day that we have “the talk,” and will hope her mother is still part of our family so she can take the reigns on it just because I am not good with awkward situations.  I would be just as awkward about my son.  Probably moreso, because I figure I can’t weasel my way out of that one and I am just fucked.

61. But dads, do not try to iron her bras. This is a mistake you will only make once.

No, I wouldn’t.  I’m not this retarded male stereotype you have in your head.

62. Examine how domestic labor is divided in your home. Who does the cleaning, the childcare, the organizing, the meal budgeting? Sons, this goes for you, too.

Here’s the thing, sugar-tits, if I have a partner that I’m living with, I figure the two of us would have an arrangement about how the household chores get done.  That’s part of being in a relationship – talking to your partner.  I’m sorry you never learned about that.

63. Learn how to do domestic tasks to a high standard. “I’d only do it wrong” is a bullshit excuse.

Oh look!  Another example of things from “Shit that Never Happens Land”!

64. Never again comment on how long it takes a woman to get ready. WE ARE TRYING TO MEET THE RIDICULOUS STANDARDS OF A SYSTEM YOU BENEFIT FROM.

Oh fuck off!  The ONLY people who care about how a woman looks are other women.  Period.  Or guys so vain that if you are with them in the first place you already accepted that.  Who do you think reads beauty magazines?  Who do you think judges the dresses of women at Hollywood awards shows?  It’s other women!  Men don’t care.  I don’t benefit since I tend to prefer women who like how they look naturally and aren’t so concerned with how everyone else thinks.  Self-confidence is a big turn-on in a romantic sense.  Sexual too.  I like a woman who knows what she wants in bed as well.

65. Challenge the patriarchs in your religious group when they enable the oppression of women.

I’m an atheist.  Doesn’t apply to me.

66. Challenge the patriarchs in your secular movement when they enable the oppression of women.

No such animal.  All of the male voices in the secular community I listen to are not sexist idiots like you.

67. Trust women’s religious choices. Don’t pretend to liberate them just so you can criticise their beliefs.

If they’ve embraced modern feminism, they are already a part of a church I don’t want into.  So yeah, I’m good on this too.

68. Examine who books your trips, arranges outings, organizes Christmas, buys birthday cards. Is it a woman? IS IT?

Hey bitch, I live alone.  Been single for a long time.  I have no money for trips.  That’s a nice dream I can have.  Outings?  Those happen when I have something I think looks like fun.  Organizes Christmas?  All me, honey.  I make the desserts like I did last year that were a smash hit.  Don’t buy birthday cards.  A waste of money.  So fuck off!

69. And if it is actually you, a man, don’t even dare get in touch with me looking for your medal.

I think you can suck a dick, bitch.  Or a lick a pussy.  I figure that’s more to your liking.

70. Take stock of the emotional labor you expect from women. Do you turn to the women around you for emotional support and give nothing in return?

Male or female, I do everything I can to support the people in my life, if they come to me.  I put a lot of effort into being a good friend.  I give and give and give, asking for nothing in return.  It has sucked the life out of me.  Makes how, when I am hurting and reach out, nobody seems to have the time of day hurt that much worse.  I believe in loyalty to whoever is in my life.  Too bad that it is a one-way street in my world.

71. Remember that loving your mom/sister/girlfriend is not the same as giving up your own privilege to progress equality for women. And that gender inequality extends beyond the women in your direct social group.

You were born with Original Sin!  Now enter the church of feminism and be cleansed in the name of Anita!

72. Don’t assume that all women are attracted to men.

I don’t.  I assume you aren’t.  But one of my favorite girly-mates is gay as the day is long.  So yeah, fuck off.

73. Don’t assume that a woman in public wants to talk to you just because she’s in public.

I tend to avoid talking to people in public on my own because I have crippling social anxiety.  But because I am taller than everyone and people come talk to me, you’d never know that.  When people talk to me, I am pretty great.  If someone doesn’t, I try to avoid making eye contact with them.

74. If a woman tells you she was raped, assaulted, or abused, don’t ask her for proof. Ask how you can support her.

I will tell her to go to the police, because I want the person who did that brought to justice.  See, my personal inclination to believe them due to a preexisting friendship needs to be negated by the issue being settled in a court of law.

75. If you see a friend or colleague being inappropriate to a woman, call him out. You will survive the awkwardness, I promise.

If someone is being a jerk to anyone, and I am familiar enough with them to approach them about it, I will.  It’s called being a good person.  And unlike you, I will do that if they are being that way to a man or a woman.  It’s called not having a double-standard, which you clearly do.

76. Repeat after me: Always. Hold. Men. Accountable. For. Their. Actions.

Actions, sure.  Words, no.  If it’s a potential crime, I’ll hold them accountable if they are found guilty of it.  I don’t believe in the court of public opinion that you all want to make.

77. Do not walk too close to a woman late at night. That shit can be scary.

Honey, I walk very slowly naturally.  I guarantee you that she is outpacing me.

78. If you see a woman being followed or otherwise bothered by a stranger, stick around to make sure she’s safe.

If I see someone about to attack her, I’ll step in.  Otherwise, I am not just going to make assumptions about a random person talking to a random female.

79. This should go without saying: Do not yell unsolicited “compliments” at women on the street. Or anywhere.

Again, crippling social anxiety.  But there’s nothing to be in quotations about.  I’m not yelling “nice titties!” to some female.  But if someone I know is out and about and I see them, I may wave or something to get their attention.  You all take anyone yelling things, no matter how innocuous, as a threat.  That’s on you, not us.

80. If you are a queer man, recognize that your sexuality doesn’t exclude you from potential misogyny.

Recognize that there has been plenty of misandry on this list.

81. If you are a queer man, recognize that your queer women or non-binary friends may not feel comfortable in a male-dominated space, even if it’s dominated by queer men.

They can go somewhere else.  I’m not forcing anyone to stay where I am.

82. Be happy to have women friends without needing them to want to sleep with you. The “friend zone” is not a thing. We do not owe you sex.

Got plenty of platonic women friends.  And the friend zone exists in that there are people who you see just as friends and not potential partners.  It’s not just men with “Nice Guy Syndrome” who invented that.  You seem to forget that there are women who can be in there too.  Plenty of women have guys they are interested in who don’t see them the same way.

83. Remember that you can lack consent in situations not involving sex—such as when pursuing uninterested women or forcing a hug on a colleague.

Wait, one of these things is not like the other.  Pursuing an uninterested woman?  Like how?  As in asking her out on a date?  Or asking if she wants to have sex?  What’s the problem?  So long as if she says no you don’t push it further, you did nothing wrong.  Can only woman approach men about dating or sex?  No wonder publications are asking why men are so pussy around women these days.  You promote it.

84. Champion sex positive women but don’t expect them to have sex with you.

I assume no woman, ever or will ever, wants to have sex with me.  My hatred of myself is a force of nature.

85. Trust a woman to know her own body. If she says she won’t enjoy part of your sexual repertoire, do not try to convince her otherwise.

I don’t do one-night stands.  I do do friends with benefits, back when I had people in my life who dug that.  If I am intimate with someone, I try and keep the lines of communication open.  There is also reading body signals, like being them being uncomfortable.  Unlike you, I think intimacy is a thing.  How I feel for the men who would get with people like you.  Those poor bastards.  They stuck their dick in crazy.

86. Be sensitive to nonverbal cues from women, especially around sex. We’re not just being awkward for no reason. (You read “Cat Person,” didn’t you?)

What do you know, I just talked about this.

87. It is not cute to try to persuade a woman to have sex with you. EVER. AT ALL. Go home.

Being the Roosh V kinda creeper, yeah, that isn’t cute.  But if you are in a serious relationship with someone and you want to talk about the idea of sex, it shouldn’t be off the table.  That being said, don’t be a creeper.  It’s a balancing act, one that has no clear answer.

88. Same goes for pressuring women to have sex without a condom. Go. Home. And masturbate.

If you are having sex with someone, communication is the point.  If you are having a one-night stand, you are an idiot if you don’t have a condom.  If you are in a serious relationship, there is no reason you can’t negotiate with your partner.

89. Accidentally impregnated a women who doesn’t want a kid? Abortions cost money. Pay for half of it.

And of the guys who wanted her to have the kid and don’t get a choice in the matter (I do support a woman’s rights to her body, but the lack of male options in getting to opt out of having a child is something I’ve talked about before)?  Not all men are pigs who don’t want to be a good father.  I’m aware you probably don’t believe that, but still.

90. Accidentally came inside a woman without protection? Plan B is expensive. Pay for all of it.

No.  Ladies, you took that risk if you had sex without protection.  If he didn’t have a condom, you could have opted out, or gotten birth control.  It’s not his fault that you didn’t take the due diligence to protect yourself.

91. Get STD tested. Regularly. Without having to be asked.

That goes both ways.  As someone who had to get tested because someone I was intimate with didn’t tell me about their sexual history (I am clean, thank Groj!), this is such a blatant double-standard.

92. Examine your opinion on abortion. Then put it in a box. Because, honestly, it’s completely irrelevant.

Already pro-choice.  Whatever.

93. Understand that disabled women are whole, sexual human beings. Listen to and respect them.

Wait…what?  I’m not even sure what this is talking about.

94. Understand that not all women have periods or vaginas.

Understand that if I am getting intimate with someone who identifies as a woman, and they have a dick, I’m not going to be attracted to them anymore.  That’s life.  Don’t like dicks on my women.

95. Believe women’s pain. Periods hurt. Endometriosis is real. Polycystic ovaries, vaginal pain, cystitis. These things are real. Hysteria isn’t.

Believe men’s pain.  Smashing your balls between your legs hurts.  A lot.  Not that you care.  Because you’re a bitch.

96. If a woman accidentally bleeds on you, try your absolute best to just keep your shit together.

I’ll be more annoyed about stains on my clothes than anything.  Blood don’t come out easy.

97. Lobby your elected officials to implement high quality sex education in schools.

Wow.  Something on this list that I agree with 100%.  Holy shit!  This is weird.

98. Uplift young Black and Indigenous girls at every possible opportunity. No excuses.

If they’ve earned it, sure.  If they haven’t, no.  And haven’t we talked about this already?

99. Do not ever assume you know what it’s like.

What what’s like?

100. Mainly, just listen to women. Listen to us and believe us. It’s the only place to start if you actually want all women to have a “Happy International Women’s Day.”

I don’t “listen and believe” anyone.  I don’t accept articles of faith.  I left the church for a reason.  Not looking to set up shop at yours

I am NEVER doing anything like this again.  There’s another list for people of color (I hate that term so much.  It’s an “of” and “ed” away from colored people), and I am not touching that with a ten foot pole.  This is so annoying.  I’m done.

Until next time, a quote,

“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.” – Professor Farnsworth, Futurama

Peace out,

Maverick

Bully Hunters, Zombie Unicorn, and Feminist Televangelism

Remember way back, when Anita Sarkeesian did her bit Kickstarter campaign for her Tropes vs Women in Video Games series?  1001 people made videos ripping her to pieces.  Over the years that followed, everyone realized that it was a con, done by Sarkeesian.  She didn’t get her own gameplay footage.  The quality of her videos didn’t substantially improve.  She didn’t keep to her own timescale and didn’t fulfill a single Kickstarter reward for any of her backers.  It was all one big scam.  As was the campaign for her Women Defying History series, which made substantially more money.  This was even worse since it was brought to light that she already had everything to make those videos.  So where did the over $250,000 go?  To her non-profit, that has also been exposed as a giant scam.  They do nothing but make YouTube videos.  They’re worthless.

A few days ago, there was a new organization that got launched – Bully Hunters.  Their objective is to be white knights for women who are being harassed in online gaming.  They will go into Counterstrike matches and kill the bullies!  Um…fight the power?  They had a big stream that they did both as a fundraising tool and a way to promote their message.  And it was immediately apparent that this was a giant fucking scam.  From the ground up, it’s a scam.  It’s so obvious that the people who are there as “bullies” are acting.  It is Ubisoft trailer levels of bad acting like real people.  The whole thing reminded me of that line from that TERRIBLE Law and Order: SVU episode

But that isn’t where the story ends.  See, one of the big voices behind this, a woman with the Twitter handle Zombi Unicorn really did a number on this movement.  See, it started with her using some horrifically erroneous statistics about the number of women who get pushed out of gaming because of harassment.  She said there was a study showing that it was 3 million.  A Twitter user called Platinum demanded the source for this, but Zombi Unicorn had nothing for her.  Thankfully, Platinum was a studious academic and chose to do some digging and found that the source, while not official since she was never officially told which source they had, was a study from 2012 that had just over 800 respondents to an online survey that they extrapolated to every single PC and console owner.  In other words, a study with terrible testing method and terrible sample size was taken as gospel.  Brilliant.  Not to mention that their erroneous statistic is featured in the same space as an ad for a product, along with their service, who says that the proceeds are going to organizations against harassment, but we all knew where it was actually going – to their wallets.

However, that still wasn’t where it ended.  Zombi Unicorn was busted making some pretty inflammatory statements during streams, calling people “faggots.”  Now, I have no problem with that word, but when you have SJWs using the LGBT community as a shield (despite not giving a shit about what they actually think, like how Anita seems to really hate on sexy women as a men-only thing.  It’s almost like she doesn’t want to think that lesbians and bisexual women actually exist) whenever they take criticism, it seems weird to have someone they respect use the word so flagrantly.  Naturally, the second the Internet was calling her on this stuff, she pulled the “I’m being harassed!” card.  Typical.

Naturally the gaming media rushed to her defense as well.  She’s talked about the tons of articles written about her by Kotaku, Polygon, and others that I am sure will be the female equivalent of getting her knob slobbered all over.  As they did for Anita.  As they have done for every “feminist” who decides to see how easily SJWs and their money are parted.

More investigation showed that an organization called FCB Chicago was tied up in this as well.  They are the company who acted as architects for this entire campaign right from the beginning, and the maker of Steel Series brand headsets is looking into possible legal action for the damage that this clusterfuck did to their brand.  It’s pretty great stuff.

See, just like Feminist Frequency, all of this was a scam.  Now we know for certain since Bully Hunters IP is gone.  The website is gone, they’ve disappeared.  They pocketed a ton of cash, and now they left.  Since they weren’t doing what Anita did and had to be expected to actually do stuff in video games, it makes sense that they didn’t stick around for long.  A con is easy if you have no obligations that you are expected to fulfill.  These people decided to take their money and run.  They made money selling bullshit, got the games media to cry for them and write articles where they couldn’t burying their heads up these people’s asses any further, and then decided to ditch.

I’ve long held that modern feminism is a religion.  I wrote a post a long time ago about a school in Canada that had confession booths where men could come confess their sins for being white.  While that may have been partially in jest, these people do believe in Original Sin.  That of being born a man, or white, or straight.  The combination of all three makes you Satan incarnate.  Their dogma is absolutely immune from criticism.  As we saw with how they don’t allow any refutation of their arguments.  They put out bullshit facts, erroneous statistics, and when asked to cite their sources, they don’t respond.  At all.  Unless to tell Platinum, as Zombi Unicorn did, to watch the stream.  So they could make that sweet money.  Because of course they did.

It amazes me with how many of these people in the social justice/feminism community claim to not be religious, how many of them still embrace dogma.  That’s what this is.  These people have embraced religious dogma, and they don’t seem to care.  Of course the likes of Zombi Unicorn and her ilk don’t care.  They pocketed the cash and disappeared.  And because their dogma teaches that they are never to question the leaders of their church, nobody will say anything about it.  That’s the nature of dogma.  Just like how Anita-senpai (to them) was never able to be criticized.

Part of me thinks that atheists who reject the religion of Christianity, Islam, or any of the other mainstream ones simply left one religion and found another one.  They left the beliefs, but not the dogmatic way of thinking.  That is a serious problem, and the worst part is that now that the regressive left culture has taken over popular culture as a whole, western society in general just gets a new dogma.  Christianity loses out as the dominate religion, social justice takes its place.  We need to abandon dogmatic thinking.  But I know I am asking too much.

Until next time, a quote,

“Dogma, whatever form it takes, is the ultimate enemy of humanity.” – Saul Alinsky

Peace out,

Maverick

RAB: SJWs and Apu, Conservatives and Nipples

I wanted to talk about both of these things, but I don’t have enough to say about either for a full-fledged post.  But then I realized – I can combine them into one RAB post.  I also wanted to make fun of both the left and the right in this country.  I am finding that the further I go in life, the more I hate both sides equally.  Does that make me a centrist?  Not at all.  I am a liberal.  But I am not some regressive-left idiot.  I am part of the libertarian left.  I have come across two stories in the news about both sides making everyone involved look stupid.  Let’s talk about them.

First, the SJWs online are crying the blues when The Simpsons decided not to take the bait with them losing their shit about Apu.  See, the SJWs say that he’s nothing but a stereotype of Indian people.  A statement that has ZERO evidence in fact.  Yeah, he has an exaggerated accent.  But you know what else he has – character!  Apu is a rich, developed character.  There are several episodes that have him going on adventures, dealing with his personal drama, and showing that he is a man who is doing the best he can to seize his bit of the American dream, while also running a REALLY shitty Quik-E-Mart.

If he was just some stereotype of the people that I have talked to in real life on the other end of a help line saying that their name is John Smith and they live in Cleveland (bullshit!), then maybe I could see where they’re coming from.  But Apu is a great character, who is funny, smart enough to run his own store, and has a family that he busts ass to provide for.  All of which we get to see as the series has gone on.  Oh, but he has an exaggerated accent.  That’s all that matters to the social justice retards.  As we’ve seen with Anita Sarkeesian, context be damned, there is one thing that they can latch onto, so they will hang on until death.

But as I said, The Simpsons didn’t take the bait, and basically told them to fuck off in a very good response.  What shocked me, though, was how the SJWs on the Internet lost it about their response.  They really should have seen this coming.  Anyone remember the episode where Lisa decides to make a stand about girls not being in a youth football team, and then Flanders totally deflates her by saying they have four girls already, and then inviting her to play as well?  I loved it.  What blows my mind is that instead of the Internet asking why the hell this show is still going when it is so clear that they have run out of ideas, we are getting pissy about something that NOBODY cared about 20 years ago.  Not one fucking person.  Gotta love SJWs.

Next up, we got conservatives showing that they are bone-dead terrified of anything even vaguely sexual, and are so horribly sexist to believe that teenage boys need to be sheltered from it, because the second something vaguely sexual enters their vision, they are immediately incapable of looking away or focusing on anything else.  I hate my own species and even I know this is bullshit.  What am I talking about?  You’re gonna love this.

A teenage girl named Lizzie Martinez had a really bad sunburn that was healing, and because her bra strap was really uncomfortable with that sunburn on her shoulders, she decided not to wear one.  Now, realizing that there may be some odd looks on this, she wore a long-sleeve, loose-fitting t-shirt.  But that wasn’t enough.  Why?  Well, because her nipples were perky and the dean (who is a woman.  Keep that in mind) decided that this was going to be too much temptation for the boys at school to deal with.  What happened next?  You’re gonna love this.

First, the dean had her put on a shirt underneath that.  Then she had her jump around!  Are you kidding me?!  Is this a secret fantasy that this person had?  Well, when that was deemed insufficient, they came up with an even better idea.  Even thinking about this makes me laugh because of how stupid it is.  She had her take four band-aids, and put two of them criss-crossed over her nipples.  That’s right, they essentially had her make herself DIY pasties.  I’m fucking dying.

Naturally, Ms. Martinez was more than a little insulted by this.  As she had every right to be.  Her entire treatment through this was fucking humiliating and degrading.  From having to bounce her boobs for the dean, to then having to make pasties for them.  That is disgusting.  Someone rightfully pointed out that if the dean was a man, this sort of thing would be causing such a massive shit-storm.  But the school came back with a totally bullshit defense – that not wearing a bra is a violation of their dress code.  Wow.  And this degrading performance the dean made this girl do?  What was that?  School policy?  Sick fucks.

I just love how terrified of anything even remotely sexual conservative America is.  It always puts a smile on my face.  Do these people believe that teenage boys are one nipple poking through a shirt away from turning into gorillas?  Really makes me wonder why they are so against Islam.  They are so much alike in terms of cultural perspective on women.  Maybe she can show up to school in a burka?  Would that be enough?  Give it a try, Lizzie.  You got my support.  After all, then you can’t possibly be showing anything sexual.  No leading those boys into temptation now!

Not kidding with what I said about conservatives and Islam, by the way.  Both of them treat boys like they are one poking nipple or bit of cleavage away from becoming rapist animals.  It’s so insulting.  And this girl got to suffer that ideology for someone who should rightfully be kicked out of there for sexual harassment.  That’s what would happen to any man in their position.

Until next time, a quote,

“Never argue with stupid people.  They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” – Mark Twain

Peace out,

Maverick

Count Dankula, the UK, Free Speech, and the Regressive Left’s Embrace of Fascistic Ideals

That title is a mouthful, but there’s a lot I want to talk about in this post.  Recently, a YouTuber named Count Dankula made a video where he taught his pug to raise his paw like a Nazi salute when he says “Seig Heil.”  It’s the most basic low-brow comedy.  He taught a cute doggy how to do something offensive.  It’s basic bitch comedy.  But the UK disagreed.  They found it offensive, and now this man is being convicted of a crime for being offensive.  An actual crime that faces actual jail time.  That’s what this man is facing right now.  A baffling state of affairs that truly does shock me to my core.

Let me put this into perspective for you – a First World country has actually made hurting people’s feelings offensive.  And it’s not the first.  Belgium is the first.  This is the second.  Now Spain is also getting in on the fun.  More and more First World countries are making it illegal to say things that hurt people’s feelings.  The fact that this doesn’t terrify people is utterly gut-wrenching.  Why?  Because people don’t seem to really understand what is going to happen with this.  Where all of this is going.  It will sound like I am making a slippery slope fallacy with where this is going, but there is real historical evidence for my contentions.

I don’t agree with virtually any of Milo Yiannopoulos’ politics, save one.  It baffles me that free speech is a right-wing issue now instead of a left-wing one.  That wasn’t always the case.  Hell, back in the age of McCarthy, it was a left-wing issue as the right crushed people’s freedom of expression.  But then the tables turned and it became the right who championed it, because all the “progressive” fuckers had to come out of the woodwork and decide that if what you say makes people sad, then you lose the right to say it.

Another thing that Milo has said that I genuinely agree with is this –

Freedom of speech is something that has to be fought for in every generation, so people can appreciate what it means.

It really does, because people truly don’t appreciate it now.  Because now you have people saying things like –

Just because you have freedom of speech doesn’t mean you have the freedom to offend people!

People who think this way need to fall into a volcano and rid the world of their stupidity.  Why?  Because the people who believe that my right to speech ends at your feelings are not understanding how this sort of thinking is most-certainly going to be used by the very worst sorts of people.

It’s funny that you have people on the far-left saying that Nazis are so bad, when they seem very comfortable with embracing the ideals of fascism.  Do these people just not realize that once we make speech a right that can be taken away, and start legislating which speech can be illegal and which is not, that someone in power is eventually going to use that to crush dissent?  We’ve seen it before.  There are countless historical stories of figures using legislation against speech to destroy all opposition.

A lot of people can make the argument that the SJWs already do this.  I think there is something to this argument.  We’ve seen how those in power within the movement exploit their authority for their own gains, and anyone who speaks out against them, they sic their little mobs of sycophants on them.  These people have no sense of decency.  They will exploit whatever power they can get their grubby mits on in order to gain more power and take power away from people they don’t like.  They do it on YouTube, they do it in the media, and now they are doing it from positions of authority.

The far-left likes to fancy themselves the proletariat fighting against the bourgeois, but they’re not.  They’re the useful idiots of the bourgeois, fighting in favor of the very fascism that they claim to be so against.  And make no mistake, the powerful are going to utilize them to their own benefit.  Now that it is acceptable to criminalize speech, where does it end?  It ends where a dictator in power says it does.  With more and more First World countries adopting the SJW logic as a cultural mindset, it’s a fact that dictators will rise.  And once they have enough power, they will come for everyone who they are against.  Who will speak up?  Nobody.  Because the public is already brainwashed by these idiots.

In closing, the UK has done a decidedly horrible thing, and by the time they realize just how bad this is, it will be too late, and the ACTUAL fascists will be in power, and all dissent will be met with fervent applause.  Chris Ray Gun did a fantastic music number about this, so that’s what I’m going to close this out with.

Until next time, a quote,

“Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” – George Santayana

Peace out,

Maverick

Video Games are Fueling the Rise of the Far Right! Right? (A response to The Guardian)

I swore that I would never go after this publication again.  They officially became too low-hanging fruit after the article about how emojis are evil.  That was the point when I decided that they are so stupid that responding to them is a waste of what little intelligence I have.  But dammit, they make this so easy!  And now they are going after a hobby that is near and dear to my heart, saying that since the inception of video games, they are helping fuel right-wing ideologies.  This is so ridiculous.  When I saw this article being talked about, I had to make a response.  Here’s a link to the article, now let’s talk about it.

Gaming cultures are connected to violence – but should be considered in terms of the rise of far right political discourse and the prominence of “alt-right” misogyny and racism.

Oh boy, I am sure that you are going to find a very concise, totally not bullshit way of demonstrating this point of view.  I’m sure you are.  I’m sure that there won’t be any buzzword usage and emotional appeal slathered all over this crap.  Not even a little.  If there’s one thing the far-left and the far-right have in common, it’s bad argumentation.  I love them for it.

The white male supremacy in gaming has been discussed in the context of the harassment campaign Gamergate and via the link between Trump and gamer message board threads on the 4chan website.

So, where do we get started on why this is bullshit?  For starters, I am not going to go through all the madness that was #GamerGate and why you’re wrong.  I’m going to let the archived videos of Internet Aristocrat do it for me.

As for boards on 4chan being for Trump, so what?  People online talking about politics.  I’m sure that gaming has a connection there.  Like I said, bad argumentation is the cornerstone of The Guardian and their “news” coverage.

Games are ideological constructions which push a set of values on the user. Like television and film, they often support the ideologies of their context: in the Bush years, American games endorsed aggressive foreign policy; since Brexit, British games advocate isolationism or nostalgia for empire – and the prominence of anti-Islam games in the 2000s tells it all.

Wow.  Notice that they don’t list a single video game to back up their claims.  None.  It’s almost like the person who wrote this doesn’t actually play them.  Maybe they just studied up on Anita Sarkeesian’s old catalog of videos and didn’t actually do any real research.  Another cornerstone of The Guardian writing – bad research.

I wonder if I can think up some games that didn’t pander to the Bush doctrine.  Maybe games like Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.  There, you have an American operative who is used by his government to kill his mentor/lover in order to get secrets that the Americans didn’t want to get out to them.  He was used and then, when he finds out how deep that well went, chose to disavow his loyalty to America and become a mercenary.  That was one example off the top of my head.  Idiot!

However, video games have at least two unique features compared to other media.

I can’t wait to hear this.

First, rightwing ideologies have been overrepresented and dominant throughout the history of video games. Although affected by context, video games have long focused on the expulsion of “aliens” (Space Invaders to XCOM), fear of impure infection (Half-Life to The Last of Us), border control (Missile Commander to Plants vs Zombies), territory acquisition (Command & Conquer to Splatoon), empire building (Civilization to Tropico), princess recovery (Mario to Zelda), and restoration of natural harmony (Sonic to FarmVille).

I’m dying!  This is so stupid!  Oh my Groj!  Why is this so dumb?!  Alright, let’s break this down.

First, it’s a right-wing ideology that when a hostile alien species invades your planet and is blowing everything up to fight back?  Really?  So would the left just lie down and let themselves be destroyed?  Is that what I’m to infer?  Notice I said a hostile race.  These creatures are openly killing people.  This isn’t aliens coming to Earth and then saying “hi, let’s make peace” and we just kill them.  It’s them coming and immediately attacking humanity and killing people.  Is the lesson here that this is a right-wing sentiment?  If so, I am REALLY confused as to what the left-wing approach is.

Next up, we have an “impure infection.”  The head-crabs in Half-Life are an alien life-form that takes over the bodies of people.  They are an actual infection.  Same with the Cordyceps in The Last of Us.  That infection is actually based on a real-life infection that happens in insects.  There are dozens of species of this fungus, all of which are tailored to one specific bug.  The concept of that game was that the infection jumped species and infected humanity.  Is it really a ring-wing ideology to fight back against this?  I ask again – what is the left-wing response to this sort of thing?  An infection is spreading out of control killing millions upon millions of people.  What is the left-wing response to such a thing?  Get in a circle and hold hands?

Then we come to border control.  Attacking this point is more about one of your examples than the merits, since at least this is something more associated with the right than the left.  How on Earth is Plants vs Zombies a referendum about border control?  It’s about stopping zombies from getting into the house and eating the brains of the denizens inside, dumbass!  I can already hear the snooty British retards who take this crap seriously responding – it’s about the unconscious implications associated with this that will tailor the minds of people to see it as people considered ugly not being allowed in your area.  Or, because we’re not in far-left fantasy land, it’s about plants stopping zombies from getting in the fucking house.  Ugh.

And we have “territory acquisition.”  This is another one where I’m more going to attack your examples than your point, even though the idea of expanding American territories is bafflingly stupid to call right-wing.  The right in this country (maybe you British idiots have this idea in the right since you used to be an empire) is very isolationist.  The libertarian dinguses want to get rid of all American military bases and only focus on America.  This is such a stupid point to make.  But back to the examples, what is Splatoon doing on there?  It’s a game about shooting ink because you’re a squid-person.  Where is the so-subtle-it-doesn’t-exist message in that?  This author is nine kinds of stupid.

What about “empire building?”  Once-again, this doesn’t at all tie into the American right-wing.  Not even a little.  You are so stupid it hurts.  Plus, games that allow you to create a fictional society and run it how you want to run it are about building empires?  This ties in to me thinking that you don’t actually play video games.  See, in Civilization, you can choose how you expand your empire.  You can be an empire that seeks peaceful cooperation, or violence.  It allows you to choose.  And Tropico doesn’t have you building an empire.  It has you as the leader of a Third World country that you have to make a better place.  Man, that is so right wing I can’t even believe it!  Your examples reek of the most blatant stupidity one can possibly imagine.  I’m sending this to you so you can hopefully learn something.

The one that really made me laugh is “princess recovery.”  This is a right-wing idea.  The idea that if a woman who you value (as in both examples provided it is clear that the main character does value the women they are respectively trying to save) is taken prisoner by an evil monster, you should save them is a right-wing idea.  What is the left-wing approach to this?  Be like “well, you kidnapped my significant other, guess that’s just how it goes.  Oh well”?  Some little bitch you must be.

Most baffingly of all – natural restoration.  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Restoring nature of a right-wing ideology?!  How?!  When was this?!  My whole life, I grew up hearing about how it’s the fucking hippy left that wants to restore nature.  Now we have this idiot talking about how restoring nature if a right-wing point of view.  I want an example of this.  I want to see some right-wing site trying to restore nature.  All the conservative idiots who say that climate change isn’t real and that we should be able to pollute as much as we want because Jeebus is coming back and Alfie dumbass Brown is telling me that the restoration of nature is a right-wing point of view.  Fucking idiot!

Second, video games put the user to work on an instinctual level, making the gamer feel impulsive agreement with these ideologies. Playing Resident Evil is not equivalent to watching the movie, because the controller-wielding gamer experiences the desires of the game as their own desires – not as the desires of another.

This is basically the Anita Sarkeesian argument – that because you play games, these secret, implicit things that they are nefariously conditioning you towards are going to hit you harder because it’s a video game.  A point of view without a SINGLE piece of scientific evidence for!  None!  There have been so many studies debunking this.  There was another study done just recently that was a long-term study having people play Grand Theft Auto V for months, then doing tests hours after the game sessions were done to test if they were more violent, and came back negative.  The only tests that have shown anything even remotely indicative of your perspective have come from tests that were done immediately after someone had gamed, when they are still running on endorphins from playing.  It’s ridiculous.  This is unproven bullshit that I am sure you are going to have some brilliant “evidence” for.

The psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan distinguished between “drives” and “instincts”. While instincts come from within us, drives occur when political forces propel us in certain directions. In these terms, video games are drives masquerading as instincts, naturalising rightwing ideologies in a way other media cannot by offering its users the chance to experience them on a personal level.

That’s nothing.  That was a nonsense, bullshit statement that basically exists to say “I’m smart!  Can’t you see what a smarty I am!”  It is basically just saying that video games are secretly nefarious for reasons that will never properly be defined.  When all evidence on the subject of video games influencing your personality goes against you, this guy has to say that it is so subliminal that you can’t even tell.  Almost like it doesn’t exist.

In this way, the rationale of gaming is to unite pleasurable impulse with political ideology, a process which renders gamers susceptible to discourses that urge people to follow their instincts while also prescribing what those instincts ought to be.

An opinion not proven, for a point of conjecture that is pure bullshit.  Yeah, this really is The Guardian’s MO.

In the 1960s, 70s and 80s, Hollywood cinema transformed the desires, empathies and emotions of a global population (even for those who never went to the movies), but it’s harder to recognise the pattern in your own context – and we may need to consider whether we are in the midst of a comparable revolution with video games today. Currently, the new desires incubated by games lean far to the right, and without more progressive games on the market (though some are emerging), the future may be even bleaker than the political present.

You have got to be kidding me.  This person is so stupid.  I love that I, an American, get to look down on a dumb-shit British person.  They are usually so pompous that they tend to be the other way around.  Hey Alfie, art imitates life, not the other way around.  I guess nobody told you that.  Or maybe you just watched Anita Sarkeesian’s videos and take all of her bullshit at face value.  Whatever the case may be, you’re wrong.  Demonstrably wrong.  The reason that the films in the 60’s-80’s reflected a change in the culture is because the culture was changing and Hollywood changed with it.  The hippy movement of the 60’s, which came to a crescendo in the 70’s left a lasting impact on cinema.  This was reflected when Hunter S Thompson wrote his masterpiece “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream,” which talked about how that hope and belief in the fight for change crashed down around those who fought when the decadence and decay of the 80’s swept in.  Read that book sometime.  It’s a great piece, from an author who saw the hope and decay very clearly.

Video games are the whipping boy of every cultural movement in the world.  The left and right use them to vilify people almost in equal measure.  It’s amazing.  These two ideologies should really join forces on their mutual hatred of a medium that has NEVER been proven to cause violence, sexism, or anything else.

Until next time, a quote,

“For every complex problem, there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.” – H.L. Mencken

Peace out,

Maverick