This is a Smear Piece of TotalBiscuit (A response to Forbes Magazine)

The very first thing to know about this article is that at the top, by the person’s name, it says that the opinions of this person are their own and not that of Forbes Magazine.  Well, fuck that.  This read like a hit-piece, and Forbes is shameless enough to put it on their platform.  This is an article that they want associated with their publication.  Hey, Erik Kain, you cool with this?  You cool with a publication you associate with putting out complete hit-pieces of respected gaming critics who died of cancer?  I’m sending you this, so I hope to get an answer.  Really, really am.  Though, we all saw your credibility die with the very thing this article talks about, so hey, let’s get down to it.

Some bitch on Forbes decided that instead of talking about the legacy of consumer advocacy (as opposed to Jim Stirling, who has agreed with Ben Kuchera that doxing is cool, so long as it’s somebody that they don’t like), she decided to talk about his connection with #GamerGate.  A movement that, four years later, still hasn’t died in the eyes of these people.  It never ceases to amaze how they are so quick to slander someone based on a movement that is dead.  But hey, let’s take a look at the article itself and see what this idiot is on about.  Here’s a link to the article, now let’s get into it.

The late YouTube Legend known as John “TotalBiscuit” Bain would have turned 34 on Sunday had he not lost his struggle to bowel cancer about a month ago. Instead of “Happy Birthdays” and tributes to his decade-plus career in the video game industry, however, his name is currently being evoked with the firing of two game developers and associated mob harassment. His critics call it “fitting” that this is Bain’s legacy… but many of his fans, some of whom have grown up with him, are wondering why some internet drama from 2014 is still relevant enough in 2018 to damage Bain’s brand forever.

TotalBiscuit has fuck-all to do with the firing of the Guild Wars 2 devs.  Nothing.  It’s being evoked with that by people who want to smear him for the purposes of…I don’t know.  It genuinely eludes me as to what is to be gained from besmirching the dead when they can’t defend themselves.  You all are the ones doing this.  Because you can’t talk about the fact that the dev in question who got the ball rolling took a COMPLETELY innocuous comment on her PUBLIC Twitter page (she did not set it to private) as an attack on her because of (insert gender politics) and decided to lambast him.  A guy who has said that he loves her work and even replied that he was not trying to offend her.  What followed was an insane outrage against the community and making it completely and utterly about (insert gender politics issue).

You all are the ones who did this, and now I am just DYING to know what TB has in common with this issue, seeing especially that it happened long after he died!

To progressives and what constitutes as “mainstream internet,” Bain was the man who legitimized GamerGate, the 2014 harassment-campaign-turned-consumer-revolt that went on to inspire conservatives.

What?!  What the fuck are you talking about?  When?!  When did he do this?  These people have such an insane view of what happened in the heyday of GamerGate.  It blows my mind.  For those who want a complete break-down, with all the main players involved, here’s a compilation of videos that Internet Aristocrat did about the whole thing.  He goes into great detail, and can clear up ALL of this bullshit.  Let’s take a look, then we can go further.

Wow.  So, in the very interesting story of what happened between the Quinnspiracy and GamerGate, I didn’t much about TotalBiscuit.  That’s funny.  I wonder why that is?  Could it maybe be because this woman is full of shit and looking to attack someone for reasons that I honestly couldn’t tell you?  I’m assuming that this woman is an SJW, and was just looking for a chance to get up on a pedestal.  That’s how these people do.  Well, let’s see what her reasoning is.

He could be described as the Anita Sarkeesian of the right in the current culture wars, always aggressive with his opinions but a bit thin-skinned to criticism himself. (He threatened to quit social media, Twitter and reddit a few times, for starters.)

I’m not getting this.  The Anita Sarkeesian of the right?  According to whom?  How do we know his politics?  You’re making a ton of assertions, and I haven’t seen anything he’s said himself that gives you insight into this.  This whole article is just you using other people’s statements to bolster your opinion.  What did TB say that clues you in to him being right-wing?  Specifically.  I want specifics, you stupid bitch.  You’re slandering a dead man, so I think he deserves that much.

As for him quitting social media, he said in a SoudCloud post that he was doing so because he was dealing with cancer.  I’m sorry that that makes him not as thick-skinned as you’d like.  He couldn’t deal with the stress of all his cancer stuff and the nonsense of social media at the same time.  Tell you what, sugar-tits, let’s see you get Stage 4 cancer and then be as popular as him on social media, where people are want to say inflammatory things (because male or female, it happens to everyone with large amounts of name recognition), and see how well you deal.  I’m sure that you will be the Paragon Virtue of being able to take the knocks without a scratch.  I’m a-quiver of curiosity to see it.

For someone so savvy at digital media preceding the incident, Bain’s involvement with GamerGate in 2014 can only be explained as a lapse in judgment. Up until that point he hadn’t yet been duped by any fake news campaigns perpetuated by organized online trolls.

Oh!  So all that stuff in Internet Aristocrat’s video?  Fake news?  What a crock.  Agree or disagree with his politics, IA did a very good break-down of what was happening, as it was happening.  He made those videos in the thick of it, following threads and forums and seeing the gaming media coming in solidarity of exposed collusion.  Because they couldn’t be honest about their mistakes.  Fuck that noise.  Instead, they have to get the gender politics train running, full steam ahead, and make it about that until the cows come home.

And there are so many details they missed.  Like how Brianna Wu lied about being driven out of her home.  She was doing TV interviews during that time via some kind of streaming.  It wasn’t something they set up.  And guess where she did those – from her office!  Five guesses where her office is.  Not to mention, Zoe Quinn saying she had to flee her home for another umpteenth time just happened to correlate nicely with her having a trip to Europe that she had announced months ahead of time.  There are SO many things that Internet Aristocrat missed, but I guess that this chick is just going to sweep it under the rug by calling it “fake news.”  That’s very SJW for ya.  I swear, anyone who uses the term “fake news” unironically is immediately put in my book as an idiot.

Unfortunately for Bain, his star power, white male privilege and massive fan base of more than a million could never change the narrative to the issue he wanted to discuss. Further, this mistake would eternally brand him as the face of a troll movement whose main claim to fame was making headlines for privacy breaches, hacking and various online crimes including harassing women out of their homes and threats of gun violence.

When was TB the face of GamerGate?!  Who did that?!  His name came up one time in a TwitLonger where he laid out his misgiving about the situation, but that was it.  You even cite it in your stupid fucking article!  All the names that got notoriety in all of this.  Internet Aristocrat, Mundane Matt, Eron Gjoni, Nathan Grayson, Adam Baldwin for coining the term, The Factual Feminist, none of them are TotalBiscuit!  Hell, I remember the Vivian James cartoon being more of a face of the movement, because the movement recognized it didn’t have a face!  This is so factually dumb!  This man has been saddled up to this fucking movement that you all are talking about all these years later because you feel like defaming him, and it fucking pisses me off!

You went on before about all the good that TB had done, as a way to set up how it doesn’t excuse him for the EVIL things that he has done here, but fuck that!  It’s telling how vague you are about the the EVIL things that GamerGate did.  Never mind that in Internet Aristocrat’s video that really got the issue blown up, he said right at the very beginning that he didn’t care that Zoe Quinn fucked five guys.  He cared about who those men were, and the ethical implications that went along with that.  Because they were giving her positive coverage.  IA made GamerGate into a household name.  Back when his channel existed, because he closed it out and made a new one, the views on those videos that the compilation was made from were insane!  You’re putting on a man who has no part in any of this, all of the blame.  It’s disgusting, and shame on you for doing it.  Let’s keep going.

I’m trying to find things to make a point about, but it’s impossible.  This article just goes on and on and on about how GamerGate is evil and anyone who says otherwise is “fake news” and that TB was somehow in the thick of it.  The fucking author even points out that TB only did that TwitLonger and didn’t engage past that.  He made his point and left it at that.  But now, somehow, because Anita Sarkeesian, he’s the figurehead of it?!  I am so fucking confused here.

Here’s what I’m seeing.  I am seeing someone who wants to talk about GamerGate as a thing.  I appears to be that TB’s name being included in all of this was just something to get people to click.  It’s click-bait.  Pure and simple.  Forbes published some click-bait bullshit that is fact-free, and all over the propaganda, to help push a narrative about an issue that these people won’t let die.  I can prove this, too.  Get a load of this statement.

While Gamergate faded away and lost relevancy except among progressive social media bubbles and white supremacists, TotalBiscuit as a brand separate from Gamergate continued to stay relevant among video gamers, both competitive and on Twitch and YouTube.

Did you see that?  The SJW has a brief moment of self-awareness because they have to flee back to the talking points that they want you to know are the real talking points.  And to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise!  This is her pulpit, dammit, and all of us have to agree with her.  From there, she goes on and on about GamerGate and some tangential relation to TotalBiscuit, when there is none!  None!  Nobody remembers him for his contribution into this culture war except for you lot!

Maybe you’re mad that two Bioware employees (one former, one current) besmirched him and were publicly lambasted to no end.  Is that it?  I don’t think so.  She threw every SJW big issue except the kitchen sink at this post.  Anita Sarkeesian, the Guild Wars 2 devs (an issue which has fuck-all to do with TB since it happened over a month after his death) getting fired, whatever you could find to throw into this, and however tangentially, lay at the feet of a dead man.  It’s fucking bizarre.

Which brings me back to what I began this article with.  This is what Forbes wants associated with their publication.  Complete and utter click-bait, and used the name of a popular, dead critic in order to have a pulpit to bitch.  I find this asinine in the extreme, and unethical.  This was an editorial, masquerading itself as a straight news story.  Huh, if only there had been a movement about this sort of nonsense being in mainstream publications.  Like, one that had been building for years and then broke open when one person decided to DMCA a video talking about it. Hm, I wonder what kind of big event that would be?  A fucking mystery to me.  What about you?

Until next time, a quote,

“The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it.” – H.L. Mencken

Peace out,

Maverick

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Lucien’s Unpopular Opinion: This Trans Actor Debate is Stupid

I am getting so tired of how every stupid thing these days is some big cultural issue that for some reason, people believe I need to feel strongly about.  I remember when the Ghostbusters reboot was coming out, and everyone was screaming about “woman power!” and I couldn’t have cared less.  It was all such bullshit in my eyes.  Then there was Black Panther, where the Internet was all in arms about how this was some huge breakthrough for black people and it was a revolution in Hollywood.  Never mind that the actual film was generic and boring, while another film starring a black cast talking about a much stickier issue came out and these people were dead silent.  Don’t know what I’m talking about?  It’s called Moonlight.  A movie talking about being black and being gay.  Given the homophobia in the black community, that film was much more audacious piece of work.

But as is always the case, when it’s some big Hollywood film, it’s a huge cultural battlefield.  When it’s a smaller film that is made 1000X better, it gets totally ignored.  That’s the fate of the aforementioned film.  And speaking of woman power, there was the film in February, Annihilation.  Starring five interesting women and being a smart science fiction film.  Not to mention having a scene that scared the living shit out of me.  It’s good stuff.  Nobody said a word about that.

Which brings us to now.  It was recently announced that there would a biopic about a transgender activist with Scarlett Johansson in the starring role.  Of course, the Internet busy-bodies are all over yelling.  Why?  Because she’s not trans.  And they think only a trans actress should play this role.  For fuck’s sake.  I’m gonna need a specific example for the point I’m about to make, and thankfully, I have one.

How many of you have seen the film Boys Don’t Cry?  It starred Hilary Swank and was a story about a trans man who was beaten, raped, and eventually murdered because of their transgender identity.  It was a really good movie.  Swank brought that character to life for all of the good sides of him and the bad ones.  Brandon Teena was not a perfect person, and the film didn’t shy away from that.  It was good that they didn’t, because it makes his inevitable murder all the more tragic.

I’ve heard this song and dance before.  I forget what the movie was, but there was some film about gay people that starred a straight person, and all of them were up in arms about the whole thing.  Everybody lost their collective shit, and I didn’t care then just like I don’t care now.  Because my point in all of this is simple – I would rather have a good actor/actress play a role than a bad one.  There is a vast plethora of movies that show that Johansson is an extremely talented actress.  Can you find me a trans actress who has the same chops?  If so, fantastic.  If not, shut the fuck up.

And for those who say “this is erasing the trans identity from this role,” please fuck off.  Why is it that you would be just fine with a film made worse by a mediocre or outright bad actress instead of a film that shows you all in a light that looks better because of a proven performer?  I genuinely don’t get this.  I mean, it’s not like some crap has been made that markets a trans actress as their headliner only for what they created the fucking suck, right…?

Instead of seeing this as an opportunity to bring a community to life in a good way with a proven actress, the way Sean Penn did with Milk, you all have to bitch and moan about stupid bullshit.  You have a chance to be noticed in a bigger way, to a wider audience, maybe help people empathize with your community more.  But no!  Let’s complain about who is in the fucking movie.  Because that’s the way to get things done.

I am getting so tired of the SJW community bitching and complaining about every stupid fucking thing, all so they can get their good-boy/girl brownie points and have everyone knowing how “woke” they are.  What they fail to understand is that all of this bitching won’t help their community get represented.  In fact, it’s likely to have the opposite effect.  Why?  Because if all they are going to do is berate and complain and moan at creators who are trying to get them noticed, you know what those creators are going to do?  Stop making films about them.  Because they won’t want to deal with the backlash.

See, Hollywood doesn’t actually give a shit about you and your community.  Actors and actresses and even some directors might, but the industry itself doesn’t.  They care about money.  They will preach the SJW line as long as it makes them money.  But it’s not anymore.  People are getting tired of it.  It’s why The Last Jedi and Solo were such flops.  Films with bad writing, piss-poor characters, and needing to shoe-horn in SJW preaching.  People are starting to get bored with this, and I can’t blame them.  It’s tiresome.  All of the hand-wringing and everyone arguing.  It’s why I have been unsubscribing from more and more anti-SJW YouTubers I followed.  I just don’t give a shit anymore.

To trans people, if you can’t see why your hand-wringing on this bullshit is not doing you any favors, then when my eventuality comes to pass, you will have no one but yourselves to blame.  Good luck with that.

Until next time, a quote,

“Welcome to the new age – Gen Zed.  Where we hustle people.  Where we blind-side them with bullshit, and use inclusivity and diversity as a smokescreen, while we sell them $25 t-shirts.  Where we hype up that we have a trans actress, like that means anything.  Like that’s important.  Like the show is better or worse because of it.” – Mister Metokur

Peace out,

Maverick

Your Beliefs About Art and #MeToo are Stupid (A response to Amanda Petrusich)

I’ve long had the contention that the whole #MeToo thing has become a witch hunt at this point.  My favorite was when they went after Bill Clinton.  Are you kidding me?  For what?  Never, at any point, did Monica Lewinsky say that he forced himself on her.  She knew EXACTLY what she was doing – fucking the most powerful man in the world.  If you gotta have a sugar daddy, that’s the one to get.  There was that lady who accused Morgan Freeman of sexually harassing her when her own video clip she used as evidence shows that he didn’t.  He wasn’t even talking to her when her alleged harassing statement was said.  It’s bananas.  Now we have a woman on PBS (a network whose SJW ties I have documented in the past, like with their short-lived gaming channel) saying that it’s time to divorce the art from the artist and hate all the works.  I’ll have the video below so you can see I’m not taking things out of context.  Let’s get to it.

This woman begins her statement by saying that divorcing the art from the artist is a bad thing.  The argument is that this is a bad statement because so much of what is remembered strongly is because it “is personal.”  Well, yeah, to the viewer or listener or player or whatever art form they take in.  When listen to Rolling Stones’ “Brown Sugar,” I am reminded that it has some VERY racy issues.  It rides a line.  But it’s still good music.  There are lots of things that touched me a personal level without having anything to do with the one who made it, because it’s my own personal perspective.

Of course, aside from video games, that was works of years gone by.  What new movies have touched me that personally?  VERY few and far between.  Culture is becoming so sterile and safe and vapid.  I’m bored by what I see because it doesn’t challenge my perceptions.  You want us to go away from this?  Okay.

She says her job is to put music in context of the time period that it comes from.  Okay.  That’s fine.  Lots of music that SO many people bitch about today is from eras gone by where people didn’t have all the butthurt problems we do today.  That’s part of what makes it good.  From the days when people could have the balls to sing about how God is bullshit and the youth are being poisoned by the adults the way Marilyn Manson did.  Or that love hurts and can kill you inside to the point of suicide, the way Nirvana did.  How I wish we still had the balls to do that now.

Then we get to her saying that divorcing the art from the artist is “outdated and dangerous.”  There better be a REALLY good reason why in this monologue.  She says that we can’t separate a song from the time period because we like it or that it’s fun to dance to.  Um, yeah we can.  People do it all the time!  It’s why we have people who have different tastes in music.  Parents thought that Manson was poisoning children and teaching them to become school shooters.  Didn’t stop people like me from liking his music.  This argument is bullshit.

We then get her saying we have a duty to rebuke the works of people who have done bad things, regardless of quality.  Okay then, I guess Ender’s Game is now a bad book because the author was a virulent homophobe.  I guess H.P. Lovecraft’s work all sucks now because he was a virulent racist.  I guess Se7en is now a bad movie for starring both Morgan Freeman and having Kevin Spacey in it.  The latter being a proven bad dude, and the former being a recent witch-hunt victim.  Right?  No, bitch.  That’s not how this works.  There are PLENTY of people that I have personal disagreements with, yet can admire when they create works that I find beautiful.

I think that Ashly Burch is an SJW who has dumb ideas in that vein, but I also think she’s a pretty great voice actress.  I think that Neil Druckmann takes what Anita Sarkeesian says REALLY seriously, sometimes to the detriment of his works, but he can still write great stories.  You don’t get to choose what people find poetic or touching or whatever.  If the person who created that is a bad person, then I will think – wow, it’s amazing that such a dick-mule could create something this good. What’s the problem with doing that?

She then says that even though she likes the music of R. Kelly and XXXtentacion, she feels uncomfortable liking their work because that somehow endorses violence against women.  How?!  I like this song, audience, so go abuse or piss on women!  That’s not how that works.  That’s not how anything works.  This argument hinges on the idea that somehow, internally, the liking of the works of morally questionable people reflects on you as a person.  Well I’ll tell you what – I don’t know thing one about Troy Baker as a person, but I know that he is a brilliant voice actor.  He portrayed the main character in one of my favorite games of all time – The Last of Us.  Since that work was created by Neil Druckmann, even if I find out tomorrow that he likes to sodomize Lena Dunham’s leftovers after she is done with her sisters (that woman is a pedophile.  How is she so popular?), I will still love his work in that game.

We get the argument that this isn’t censorship.  I would agree.  This is you having stupid opinions about music based on social nonsense that you believe because you are part of a movement that tells you that this is how the world is.  That the Anita Sarkeesian types are right and if you like things made by bad people, that in turn makes you a bad person.  That life doesn’t just mimic art, but it mimics the value of those who make it, regardless of if they are just the actors or lyricists in someone else’s work.  An asinine, stupid idea said by someone who is informed by the likes of BuzzFeed and Salon.

But she says that Spotify is bad for playing the music of the aforementioned rappers.  If you want to have an outlet not play music that you find offensive, that is censorship.  Because you are free to have your opinions about whatever musician you want.  However, you don’t get to choose which artists other people listen to, all because of the social justice chip on your shoulder.  Sorry life doesn’t work that way, sug.

She wraps up by saying that art and artist are indistinguishable.  That’s…bullshit.  Look at any piece of artistic work.  Aside from paintings and sculptures and whatnot, pretty much all mediums have some kind of balancing system.  As an example, if I am writing a book, and I want to publish it, I can either pay the cost of publishing it myself and get to have whatever I want in the book, or I can get a publishing company to do it and get a small percentage of the royalties.  If the publishing company does it, then they will be getting editors to go over my work and find the things that they believe need to be cut.  If I want them to stay my publishers, then I can try and plead my case for why not, or I can capitulate, but that’s the state of things.  In movies, the process of creation goes through so many draftings and shoots and are colored by so many people that there is no one person whose vision is represented.

You say that we cannot separate these things because they are indistinguishable.  I say that is ridiculous.  Movies, books, video games, music, pretty much any artistic creation is the collaborative efforts of many, many people.  The musician may be an incredible lyricist, the actor/voice actor an amazing performer, or the writer a fantastic narrative-weaver, but in the end, they are still just one cog of a much larger whole.  The fact that you cannot see that means you are just like every SJW I have seen make this bullshit, pretentious argument.  Well done.

Until next time, a quote,

“But let me tell you something, folks – you can’t fix stupid.” – Ron White

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Bitch About Games Not Being Happy for LGBT People! (A response to Kotaku)

I am genuinely not surprised what a giant pile of shit Kotaku is.  It was started under Gawker, so it should have surprised no one.  But every time I see their articles I am reminded of all the bad things about modern “games journalism.”  It’s a joke, and the punch like is that someone, somewhere, takes this shit seriously.  Who this person is and why is a complete mystery to me.  So when I saw an article with the title “Let Queer Characters Be Happy,” my groaning senses immediately were blaring.  I thought for a while I’d just let this stupid shit lie, because it’s more click-bait for SJWs so they can be reaffirmed why video games are awful.  Even though I guarantee that almost nobody who reads this shit and takes it seriously has ever actually played on.  Here’s a link to this bullshit article, now let’s get started.

When The Last Of Us Part II’s new trailer debuted at this year’s E3, protagonist Ellie enjoyed a slow dance and kiss with another woman. My queer friends and I confessed to one another that we were assuming the worst. That happy girl will probably die, because while games allow us to be many things—space marines, mages, and tenacious heroes—they rarely allow queer people to be happy.

Assuming the worst was a safe assumption.  That was mine as well.  I figure that the motivation behind Ellie being willing to go down the violent path that I get the feeling she has tried to escape is the death of India lesbian.

Oh, and boo-fucking-hoo about “they rarely allow queer people to be happy.”  Yeah, because Joel was SO happy in the last game.  Seeing his daughter die in front of him, scared and crying, which broke him inside to the point that he locked his humanity away for fear of being hurt like that again.  Yeah, he had a great time.  Life was all buttercups and rainbows for that mother-fucker.  If I didn’t know that all of this crap was just to get SJW brownie points for how “woke” you are, I’d think you are idiots.

Queer people struggle, as do our intersectional allies. The news is full of horrible daily reminders to all marginalized people that their lives and comfort exist largely at the whim of the privileged. That means bakeries refusing to make your wedding cake or laws meant to keep you out of restrooms.

That struggle has been fetishized by media and is one of the defining traits for queer characters in media. Video games have included more queer characters in recent years—Dorian in Dragon Age: Inquisition, Ellie in The Last of Us, Veronica Santangelo in Fallout: New Vegas and countless others—but all of their stories are tragic. Their partners and lovers are killed. Their families disown or shun them. They seem to be magnets for catastrophe. Rarely do their stories end in comfort, either from others or the larger world in which they live. We have more gays, trans-people, bisexuals, and others games than ever before. Yet we, comparatively, also have more of their corpses.

Fetishized?  What bullshit.  In all of those games that you list, the death or tragedy of their lives is painted as a bad thing.  When it it ever meant to be literal or emotional wank-material?  I hated the death of Riley in the DLC to The Last of Us, but that’s because when you listen to Ellie explain it, it wasn’t some big uplifting speech.  It was two girls who didn’t know what to do.  Ironically enough, I liked the original game’s portrayal of her dying better.  Because it felt like a real kid.  These girls are 13-14 years old.  They are NOT some big uplifting heroes.  The game painted Ellie as a normal teenage girl stuck in incredibly difficult circumstances.  It’s part of why I like her.

In that DLC, Riley is this amazing MLK-esque character who turns what should have been the tragedy that set Ellie on the path of self-destruction and watching the people she cares for die into a big “it’s gonna be okay” moment.  I hated that.  Meanwhile, in the actual game, Ellie paints the story as two girls in a place confused, scared, resigned to their fate.  They were going to “just lose our minds together.”  It’s tragic and depressing.  So yeah, Riley died, but if you go off the DLC, it was a magical and uplifting moment.  What are you bitching about?

It’s interesting that you complain about real life having reminders of things being difficult for LGBT people.  I don’t know if you were aware of this, but art mimics life, despite what Anita Sarkeesian likes to believe about it being the other way around.  So, since the real world has hurdles for them to overcome, so it is in the gaming world.  What a shock!

Not to mention that, once-again, this is another instance of me saying that if you want a game that is buttercups and rainbows for gay people, what’s stopping you from making it?  Do tell, what is preventing you from doing it?  Don’t know how to make games?  Learn.  Don’t know how to publish games?  Learn that Steam exists.  You all were able to get a house-cleaning simulator out to market, so one of you SJW fucks should be able to do this.  You want a game where it’s a magical utopia where Sarkeesian is on a pedestal and LGBT people are treated like they are princes among men?  Go out and make it, you complaining fuck!

They go on and on with example of how sad stories are represented with LGBT characters, so I’m going to jump back to where they make a point.  If you want to go through every example, you can read the article.  I have the same refutation for all of them, so it will make this simple for you here.

Tragedy often serves as a backstory for straight characters in role playing games, too. Party members of all backgrounds hide hidden pasts and personal struggles that the player can learn about and solve. But where the mighty Krogan warrior Wrex might rise to lead his species, and the dwarf Varric Thetras ascend to nobility, queer characters’ happy endings often end up being as romance options for the player. We are, more often than not, unsaveable unless we are fuckable, and even that is up to the player.

Wow.  So much to talk about here.  For starters, you talk about the shuttle pilot Cortez and how his story is focused around the death of his husband.  I actually despise the romance option for male Shepherd because he goes form grieving husband to immediately wanting to jump your bones.  Instead, let’s take a look at the story with Femshep.  There, you have a diligent Commander (which I most-assuredly am) working to help an ally and new friend get through his grief for his lost spouse.  In the end, it solidifies their relationship, both as commander and subordinate, and friends.  Plus, you helping him get through his personal issues saves his life on the final mission.  And my hatred of everything after the Victory Fleet goes to Earth aside, that seems like a damn good end to a story where they are “unsaveable unless we are fuckable”.  Fuck this smug hipster who wrote this shit.

What are you looking for?  A character who is an idyllic monarch of gay pride who leads the gay people on a gay as fuck revolution to glory?  It’s ironic that you list Wrex from Mass Effect on there, since him rising to glory is also something that depends entirely on the player!  You could have killed him when you have a standoff during the Virmire mission.  You could have destroyed the data on the Genophage cure in Mordin’s loyalty mission, which would lead to Eve’s death, which is crucial to him becoming a savior as she helps to rally the other clans under Wrex’s banner.  You also could kill Mordin, sabotaging the Genophage cure that is what saves the Krogan people from destruction.  All of his rise to glory is on you!  The player!  So what’s that bitching about all of this being at the mercy of the player?!  Pure bullshit?  That’s what I thought.

Games that include queer romance sometimes even place the success of that romance in competition with the success of society as a whole. In Life is Strange, teenager Max Caulfield saves her childhood friend Chloe after unlocking the ability to manipulate time. Throughout the rest of the game’s episodes, the two women get closer and closer, and the budding seeds of romance bloom between them. But Chloe already has lost one lover before the game even begins. Life Is Strange revolves around the search for Chloe’s missing girlfriend Rachel Amber. That search uncovers a string of sexual abuse and murder in the town of Arcadia Bay, with Rachel as one of the victims. After uncovering her body, Chloe gets killed by the culprit. That’s two dead gays for the price of one.

Oh fuck off!  Leaving aside that Max’s ENTIRE GOAL for the latter portion of Episode 5 is to save Chloe’s life (they ignore context like it’s the plague.  The Kotaku formula), this is just like that fucking “Dead Lesbian Syndrome” video that BuzzFeed made.  Yeah, Rachel Amber was dead.  It is tragic.  But you ignore several crucial facts leading up to this.  First, we never definitively know that the two of them were a thing.  It’s implied, heavily, but you never know.  Not to mention, we find out in Episode 3 that if they were a thing, Rachel Amber was cheating on her with the drug dealer, Frank.  And lying to her about it.  Oh wait, can’t talk about that.  Then you have a character who has flaws and shouldn’t be put on a pedestal.  My bad.

Yet, even when Max alters reality to save her friend or bring her happiness, Chloe suffers. In an alternate timeline where Max prevents Chloe’s father from dying, Chloe ends up in a car crash and is paraplegic. In this timeline, Chloe begs Max to euthanize her; the story shuts down both disabled and queer people’s right to happiness in one fell swoop.

Fuck this stupid article.  What a way to miss the fucking point!  The point of what made the death of Chloe in the alternate timeline Max created tragic.  This wasn’t about LGBT romance, you fuckers!  It was about Max fucking up her friend’s life again and again.  It’s talked about in Episode 5.  See, Max has fucked up Chloe’s life a lot.  She watches her die at the very beginning of Episode 1.  It’s what sets off her powers.  In Episode 2, you can have her shoot the bumper of a car, which causes her to shoot herself, forcing you to go back in time to save her again.  In that same episode, you have to stop a train from hitting her.  Which leads us to Episode 4, where she has created an entirely new timeline, specifically to make Chloe happy by not having her dad die, and finds out that this fucked up either her friend or her budding romantic partner’s life even more!  The tragedy in having to help Chloe die is in Max realizing that she has destroyed this girl’s life over and over again, only to go back to try and fix it.  In the end, she realizes that she can’t save keep doing this.  That all of these trips back through time are destroying her.

Just once, I wish that Kotaku would actually pay attention.  But no.  They have to get their talking points down so that they can stand in judgement over us EVIL gamers and the games we play.  I just know they’re going to talk about the ending, so let’s get to it.  Here I might find at least SOME common ground with them.

In a timeline in which Max prevents Chloe’s murder, a massive hurricane barrels down on Arcadia Bay instead. The pair conclude that the storm is an anomaly created in response to Max’s time-traveling. The final choice is to either sacrifice the town or to travel back in time and allow Chloe to die.

Narratively, the choice feels empty. Max’s personal growth up to this point revolved around a growing understanding of her place in society and learning to accept consequences for her actions.

I could not agree more!  I do hate the ending to Episode 5.  It is worse than the ending to Mass Effect 3.  None of your choices matter in the slightest, because either you negate ALL of them by having Chloe die, or they don’t matter because everyone is dead.  It was the laziest fucking way to end a choice-based game since Mass Effect 3.  Hell, it was lazier than that.  At least that game gave you 3 nonsensical choices that throw all your choices in the trash.  This game gave you two.  I wrote an entire post about how I would have ended things (link here), and while it isn’t perfect, at least I included SOME kind of choice-based resolution to the game.

The Last of Us focuses on the frailty of society and individuals, both morally and in the flesh. It makes sense that the characters would endure loss. Joel copes with the death of his daughter and his grief over his inability to protect her; he gravitates to Ellie, who serves as a surrogate child and a bittersweet balm for his prior loss. In the end, he gets what he wants — to serve the Hero Dad role — although it comes at the expense of many lives and lies.

What a way to miss the point.  Miss EVERYTHING that made the ending to The Last of Us so powerful.  The ending to that game isn’t some happy ending for him.  It’s bittersweet as fuck.  If you can’t see why, I shall explain.  Joel sold humanity up the river to save the only person left who matters to him.  His connection to the human condition.  You saw how his own brother and him are so estranged.  This one life, this one little life who has become his connection to the human condition, is worth selling all of humanity up the river to maintain.

In the end, he had to lie to Ellie about why he left the Fireflies base, because he knew that Marlene was right.  Ellie would want to give her life to save humanity.  What made their final conversation so powerful was in him accepting his cost, that last of his vestige of humanity, to preserve this relationship.  But it was also about Ellie accepting her cost.  She chose to accept his lie, knowing that it was a lie.  She could see all over his face that he was lying to her, but chose to accept that because she wasn’t just his surrogate daughter.  He is her surrogate father.  The one relationship that will last.  Because she found what Joel had back in the diner.  When she hacked David to pieces, she found that darkness that Joel had embraced, and since now she couldn’t give her life to escape it, she had to live with it.

I love the end of that game so much because of the moral and philosophical implications, and you just sweep it under the fucking rug as a story of Joel being the “hero dad.”  Fuck you, you single-digit IQ hipster.

I want these queer characters to have happy endings, or at least different ones. Hell, I’d settle for kisses that don’t portend death. And I still love the stories that I have, imperfect and tragic though they may be. BioWare’s cast of heroes provide examples of bravery and humility that I strive to emulate. Life is Strange’s tender romance captures a sense of early sexual awakening. The Last of Us’ Ellie is a goddamn survivor. All of that is fantastic, but it comes at a price. That price, often, is the agency and happiness of queer characters.

Does the writer of this article not know that these people aren’t real?  This is why I said that this feels like the video from BuzzFeed.  Because it reads like this person can’t separate fiction from reality in her mind.  Want these characters to have a happy ending?  Fantastic, there’s millions of fan-fiction sites that I’m sure have some happy endings for them.  Hell, read my post about how I would have ended Life is Strange.  There’s a happy ending for ya!  Instead of respecting the artistic integrity of those who create fiction, you have to bitch about it not being happy enough for you.  Well guess what, sugar-tits, you can go and find your happy ending or make it yourself on you Fanfiction.net or your Deviant Art page.

But why do we have to pay that price, and so often? I’m not suggesting that the queers should always get to dance in a field of gumdrops at the end of every game in which they appears, but considering the real world’s continued eagerness to trample the marginalized, one of the most radical things art could do right now would be to show us a world in which we are more than our suffering.

“More than our suffering”?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Is that all you see them as?!  You only see Chloe Price as suffering because her *potential* girlfriend died?  You only see Ellie as sad because of her dead girlfriend?  Wow.  What an insult to all the character traits that they had.  If that is all you see them as, that’s on you, honey.  I see Chloe Price as a tragic character, to be sure, but that’s because she’s had a rough life.  Her father died.  Her best friend deserted her.  The girl that she cared for more than any other and saved her potentially from suicide disappeared.  It’s what makes the dynamic better and her and Max reconnect and awaken new feelings into each other.  It’s why I hate the bullshit ending to the game so much because the choices make no difference.

But all of this comes right back to what I said before – if you want gay happy endings for characters, then go out and make it.  Make a game with a Star Trek utopia where gay people are treated as absolutely perfect because of their gayness.  I don’t fucking care.  But STOP bitching about things that you clearly only see as “there’s dead characters in the group I like!”  There is NOTHING stopping you from making the games you want to see.  How about you quit bitching on this SJW rag and get to work?

Until next time, a quote,

“Those who can’t do teach, and those who can’t teach teach gym.” – Dewey Finn, School of Rock

Peace out,

Maverick

It’s Confirmed, You Are the World’s Greatest Con Artist (A response to Anita Sarkeesian)

I know what you’re thinking – why are you giving this woman more publicity?  Who even cares about her anymore?  Honestly, this isn’t me looking to yell at her.  Because the truth is that I am in genuine awe of this woman.  It blows my freaking mind how she is able to bilk people out of massive amounts of cash for her “non-profit,” all while being paid a king’s ransom to go to universities and do speaking engagements.  Schools basically pay this bimbo to go there and to proselytize to them.  It’s one big feminist circle-jerk.  It never ceases to amaze.

First, way back in 2012, she was able to bilk the masses out of money on Kickstarter for a series of videos to be done within the space of a year all about “Tropes vs Women in Video Games.”  Over five years later, she gets the series of videos finished, within keeping a SINGLE ONE of her Kickstarter backer rewards that she promised.  It was proven that her videos saw no noticeable uptake in quality, her talk about needing money for “research” was bullshit because she was stealing other people’s gameplay footage, and the only thing in any of the videos that looks like it would have taken any budget at all was an animated spoof on a video game that no one would want to play.  She raised $158,000 for that.  But we’re only just getting started.

After bilking the feminist culture once, she decided to do it again.  Except this time she was much more honest about being a money-grubbing demagogue.  She asked for $250,000 for a new video series – “Ordinary Women: Daring to Defy History.”  What did she say she needed the money for?  Well, for things like costumes, and sets for skits and the like.  Once-again, the Internet sleuths immediately pointed out that all the shit she claimed to need this money for, she already had.  TJ Kirk, aka The Amazing Atheist, decided to make his own stand against this by starting up a fund-raising effort to go to an actual charity that does actual good for women – the International Women’s Health Coalition.  As that campaign was building more traction than her own campaign, Anita spun it to it all being a big harassment campaign against her.  She has a gift at condemning the damsel in distress trope, all while embodying it down to the rank and file.

Keep in mind – all of this is being done while she is being paid tens of thousands of dollars for her speaking engagements.  Her non-profit group, that literally exists only to fatten her wallet, as there is no discernible evidence of what they do for women aside from their shitty videos, is making hundreds of thousands of dollars annually.  But it doesn’t end.

News reached me this morning that the money-grubbing charlatan has asked for even more money.  This time, it’s to start a Discord server.  Are you kidding me?!  Something that I know for a fact is free and takes a minute.  At max.  How?  Because I’ve done it.  I have a Discord server for a few choice people.  Unbelievable.  Of course, I know who she’s bilking this money from – stupid people.  People who aren’t actually tech people.  They don’t know any better.  Or her sycophantic followers like Wil Wheaton (shut up, Wesley!), who as we saw for that article he penned for Time magazine, has his head buried firmly up her ass, giving her a metaphorical rimjob.

I genuinely am impressed about how good this woman is at parting morons and their money.  Long have I held the contention that this woman is not some brainwashed idiot.  She is a strategic, manipulative con artist.  The best that has ever been.  Nobody can make people believe their bullshit the way that Anita does.  It’s a genuine talent.  One that I whole-heartedly respect.  Because you know that she doesn’t believe this bullshit that she spews.  There’s a REALLY old video floating around of her being interviewed as a seminar held by a guy who basically was doing a kind of ponzi scheme.  There you can hear Anita talking about how much she learned.  That and the video she made about how much she hates video games are probably the only two things she’s ever made that I think she’s being genuine.  The rest is all performance art.  Terrible, terrible performance art.  But because she slaps the feminism label on it, she gets a shit-ton of views.

The people who give money to this woman are either too stupid to understand that a Discord server costs nothing to set up and nothing to run, or they just want their feminist good boy/good girl badges so they can say that they are part of the solution.  Because the people who care about that shit are the ones who their image is all that matters to them.  The worst kinds of people, if you ask me.  All the while, Anita takes it all to the bank.  Making buckets of money.  It might as well be falling from the sky like the leaves in Peter Griffin’s terrible short film.

It always catches me off-guard when I see people like Kat Blaque or Franchesca Ramsey bitching about how the people who are anti-sjw are in it for the money, almost as if lamenting how much money these people could make (before ad-pocalypse and YouTube fucking the algorithm ten ways to Sunday) versus how much they are making.  Which strikes me as odd, given how much the feminist queen rakes in.  Maybe these people just aren’t as good of con artists.

That does make sense, when you see the people who try to play at Anita’s game and fail.  People like Crypt Keeper Wu.  Oh, I’m sorry.  That was rude.  It’s potential Congresswoman Crypt Keeper Wu.  When you look at how Brianna has tried and failed to sell her victimhood, it really makes you appreciate just how good Anita is at cultivating her bullshit.  It’s not an understatement to say that I genuinely respect the talent Sarkeesian has in manipulating people

Does make you wonder, though, if the SJWs are so openly jealous of the anti-SJWs for making money, what do they say about Anita Sarkeesian (who is making money hand over fist while on their side of the fence) behind closed doors?

Until next time, a quote,

“People that support me, mixed in with, more people that support me and say nice things.  Rainbows all around me, there is no shame in my safe space.” – South Park

Peace out,

Maverick

Musical Insanity: Vegan Rap

There is a rule that I want to make.  It’s a simple rule, really.  One that should be understood by everyone at this point to be a law.  No joke, break this and I am going to send a fucking honey badger to your house that’s high on Angel Dust.  Yeah, that’s how serious this rule is.  Because between the Privilege Rap to what you are going to see, it is abundantly clear that this rule has a very real place in today’s society.  Actually, this is two rules.  First, stop raps that have a lesson to teach!  They are awful!  Without a single exception, they all suck!  Stop it!

Next – white people need to never rap.  Ever.  We suck at it.  I don’t like rap in general, but the cringing I did on this was even worse than the “Jesus Christ is my Nigga” rap.  By the way, check that out if you want some old white people cringe that is just the best.  If cringe is something you look for.  I can’t handle the white people rapping about feminism, and I most certainly can’t help the most outspoken and annoying group I have had to deal with offline doing this.  Let’s take a look at the Vegan Rap.  Ugh…

Where do I begin.  For starters, we have the older people trying to be hip for the youth at least staying with the beat.  But their lyrics.  It rhymes for the first paired lines, but then we have this skinny guy come in and interrupt the second pair with the moral lesson – don’t use animal as an insult.  Bitch, I’ll use whatever I like as an insult.  But I’m not calling fatties a cow.  I’m calling them a heifer.  Get your terminology straight.

Next up we have the lady saying if you eat like a pig, she won’t use that term with you.  I will.  If someone eats shit food like a hog, they’ve earned the terminology.  Oh right, I’m fat-shaming.  Too bad.  If you are going to slobber down slop in front of me, I’m judging you for it.  Any friend of mine knows that I’m an asshole.  That’s part of my charm.  But then this skinny dude comes back to interrupt the next rhyme again with this woman.  Now he has a prolonged lesson to teach – that using animals as an insult is “speciesist.”  When will SJWs get this term added to the dictionary.  We’ve already god mansplaining in there, so why not?

I feel so bad for these people trapped in this terrible rap with this skinny guy.  It’s so abundantly clear that he is the driving force behind this, and these people are stuck there.  It reminds me of the podcast I watched called Drunken Peasants.  They had this woman and her public access show, who talked about dick endlessly, and she had this older woman with her whose only job seemed to be reacting to the crazy shit she said.  That woman looked trapped, and I felt bad for her.  I feel bad for these people too.

There is an abrupt transition to the guy singing again, saying that if you avoid thinking, he won’t call you a sheep.  I might not call you that either.  I’ll probably just call you stupid.  So there ya go, trapped guy.  I feel you on that one.  But I might call you a sheep if you blindly accept the stupid shit that those in power or the group goes with without thinking about it.  It is what it is.

We then go back to the lady, who says if you are a cowardly little bitch, she isn’t going to call you a chicken.  Neither will I, lady.  I’ll call them cowardly, little bitch, frightful, lacking guts, easily scared, wuss, pussy, or a cabal of other insults to insinuate that someone is lacking in courage.  Now the dude is back.  I guess he talks about his moral lessons after the woman speaks.  Okay.  The lines are the same, whatever, now I have to focus on this guy’s dancing.  There’s a website I want you all to check out.  It’s mancan.com.  I came across this at my employment.  If there isn’t a white background at the start when the page loads, refresh a few times.  Might take a bit.  But then you’ll have this white background appear, and in frame will come this dancing man.  He’s terrible.  It’s so beautifully cringey.  The joke I have my coworkers is that this man cannot.  Other mancan, but this man cannot.  It’s kind of an inside thing.  But looking at vegan skinny man, it make me think of that.

Now we’re back to the guy.  He says that if you are disloyal and we have a fight, he won’t call you a rat.  Okay, you have it right with the first bit, but not the second.  It’s not when we have a fight that you’re a rat.  It’s when I do something and you go to the authorities or one in charge of an organization or event and snitch on me.  Being snitch is what earns you that name.  And I’ll call you that if that’s what you’re being.  You look like a snitch.  No offense.

It goes over to the lady, and this one is just bizarre.  We have her talking about a person who checks ladies out being called a dog.  What?  For one, I call don’t call people a dog, I call them a bitch.  That’s a female dog.  Get your terminology straight.  Next, in the context of the usage of dog, it’s more someone who is a horny bastard and not ashamed of it.  So in both instances, your rebuking of this term is flawed.

Oh hey!  We do have someone calling out the usage of the term bitch.  Fantastic.  And I don’t call someone a bitch because they aren’t rich.  By the way, that’s actually a pretty good rhyme.  Your syllable usage can stand some work, but that rhyme was on point.  I call someone a bitch if they are being a pathetic, measly little worm that I don’t wanna give the time of day.  Or, if they are an unpleasant, awful human being, who is being unpleasant to me in a way only females can be.  Though if guy is so effeminate that he exhibits those behaviors, I’ll call him out on it too.

We have the lady back calling out the usage of the term “snake” for those who lie and break someone’s trust.  I always saw that as someone who stabs you in the back.  Or someone who pretends to be your friend and then betrays you.  I’ve used that term a few times.  We have the skinny guy back, and his dancing just gets worse!  These poor people.  I can feel them cringing with me on this.  Who was this made for?!

And it fades out with him and his repeated line. This was so much cringe.  I will likely never watch this again.  It wasn’t fun cringe.  I can watch “Jesus Christ is my Nigga” til the cows come home because it’s pretty funny.  This?  It was not.  Just the saddest attempt to reach an audience people that I don’t know who it is.  I don’t know who this is made for.  Vegans?  Non-vegans?  I don’t know.

Stop rapping, white people!  Not because it’s “cultural appropriation,” because that term is bullshit, but because you fucking suck at it!

Until next time, a quote,

“That was hilarious because you fucking suck!” – Your Movie Sucks

Peace out,

Maverick

Let’s Answer 100 Ways White People Can Make People Less Frustrating for People of Color

What a Title.  Yes, I am aware that I said two posts ago that I was never going to do this again.  I may end up horribly regretting this decision.  But I found out today that I had unknown members in my audience who keep up regularly, and knowing that I have an audience and they love my stuff is compelling me to keep the content flowing and to try and keep it fresh.  Plus, I got to thinking – there are people who buy into this shit.  There are actual people in the actual world who think that these lists aren’t complete and utterly bullshit and take their premises without a second thought.  That not only blows my mind, but also kind of bothers me.  How many kids today read this shit and take it as gospel.  This type of dogmatic thinking needs to stop, so let’s do this.

I have said before that I HATE the term “people of color.”  It’s and “of” and “ed” away from “colored people.”  I figure they might address this complain, so I’ll head it off here.  Here’s a link to the post, now let’s see what they got.

1. Just because you can’t see racism around you doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Trust people of color’s assessment of a situation.

I can’t do that.  I’ve seen FAR too many instance of the social justice idiots declaring things that are not remotely racist to be racism.  Ever heard of “digital blackface?”  It’s when a white person shares a GIF of a black person.  When you have these people calling shit like this racism, then I’m sorry but I have to take what you all say with a grain of salt.

2. Don’t assume that all people of color share the same views. We are not a monolith.

And yet, here you are, having made a list that we are to assume is to be universally applied.  Idiot!

3. Don’t assume or guess people’s races. This is NOT a fun game for us.

Unless I know you on a personal level, I don’t give a fuck what your race is.  I work with two Asian Americans, and since I am tight with them, we have talked about their racial identity.  Thankfully, they are from Asian heritage, so they don’t have the stick up their ass that some other ethnic groups do.

4. If someone tells you they’re from Uganda, don’t say, “I went to Nigeria once!” Just, please.

No.  Don’t tell me how to talk to people, bitch.  If I find out someone is from a part of the world that I have been around, and I feel like it’s a good talking point, then I will do that.  Fuck off.

5. Related: Don’t refer to Africa as a country. It’s a continent and it’s wildly varied. Yes. Take a moment.

America is the stupidest First World country.  It’s a fact.  You saying this is basically just asking for the sky not to be blue.  It’s a cute suggestion.  By the way, got to your average American college and see how many people say that it’s a country.  Go watch your faith in the human race die.

6. Oh, and rest assured that literally no person of color ever wants you to get back from holiday, show off your tan and excitedly exclaim, “Look, I’m almost as dark as you!” Cease and desist.

In my last post, I talked about a place called “Shit That Never Happens Land,” let’s add this to the list.  Also, it’s amazing how you say this is for all “people of color,” when most of your examples thus far are pretty fucking specific.

7. Don’t assume that a person of color knows everything about their country of heritage. Do you know everything there is to know about America? Germany? Sweden? That’s what I thought.

I don’t assume that.  Stop putting words in my mouth.

8. Don’t assume we can run if we’re Black, do math if we’re Asian, have drinking problems if we’re indigenous…

Don’t assume that women drown their babies, or white people hate black people simply by virtue of their existence.  How about we all give up bad stereotypes.

9. Regard us as autonomous, unique individuals, not as representatives of our race.

You already brought this up in a previous point.  Already running out of ideas?  We’re only 9 in on this list.

10. Don’t make embarrassing jokes to try and be “down” with people of color. We’ll laugh at you, not with you.

This is oddly specific.  Not to mention, I get the feeling the person who did this is one of your “intersectional” allies.  These are the white people you create when you have social justice telling us to hate ourselves and raise you up as the paragon virtue.

11. Don’t rinse our culturally specific memes. They’re ours. Go enjoy that weird one about the plums.

This is also oddly specific.  What are you talking about?

12. If you’re at my house party, don’t turn off the Weeknd to put on Arctic Monkeys. (Okay this one is very specific but it happened to me once and I’m not over it. The audacity!)

Is this bitch trolling?  I’m starting to think this bitch is trolling.

13. Avoid phrases like “But I have a Black friend! I can’t be racist!” You know that’s BS as well as we do.

Um, no.  If you hate people of an ethnic group, you’re not going to have friends in that group.  Why would you befriend people who you hate?  Also, nobody says they aren’t racist because they have a black friend.  I’m convinced this is a talking point you all invented because somebody at some point said it, so now it’s ad nauseum for all white people.

14. When you endlessly complain about how terrible white people are, you are being that terrible white person. Jeez.

Again, this is your baby.  You made this.  Don’t shit on what you created.

15. Don’t say shit like, “I know what it’s like to be a person of color…I’m a ginger!”

Given how, historically, being a ginger was associated with Irish heritage, you might wanna learn some history about how the Irish were treated like shit in this country.  For a group of people who goes on and on and on and ON about history like that has some bearing on modern culture, they have just as much of a right to get in on the fun as you do.

16. Don’t question someone’s Blackness if they’re light-skinned. It’s not your place. Other Black people can make sure that light-skinned Black people are cognizant of their privilege.

What white person has ever done this?!  The only people I hear bitching about lighter skinned black people are you all.

17. Never try and tell a person of color what is or isn’t racist.

No.  You all ignore nuance like the plague.  Sorry if I refuse to play ball (not sorry).

18. When you find instances of racist bullshit online, please don’t send it to us. We know racism exists, thanks.

I don’t want to deal with you ever again after dealing with your bullshit list, so yeah.

19. Read something already written about it rather than coming to your friends/acquaintances of color looking for hot takes on anything and everything appropriative a Kardashian/Miley Cyrus does. We don’t wanna think about this shit 24/7!

You all are the ones bitching about Kanye ad infinitum!  The ones I see online doing the most bitching about pop culture are black people.  Maybe I am just lucky enough to hang out with nerds and skeptics, but still.

20. Understand that some days are even more mentally exhausting for people of color thanks to the news cycle. Try not to badger us for our opinions on the latest atrocity that has occurred. Leave us to grieve.

I’ll talk about whatever the fuck I want.  Thanks.

21. But when we do have something to say about it, listen.

No.  I think you’re an idiot.  Why would I listen to you?

22. Share articles relating to the everyday experiences of race and racism written by people of color.

No.  A lot of this shit is stupid crap like the stuff you’ve listed here.  Why would I share that stuff?

23. But don’t be that person who is weird and sycophantic and loves to demonstrate their wokeness constantly to the people of color around them. Be thoughtful.

Your baby.  Your fault.  Fuck you.

24. Read books by people of color. I recommend Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde, The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander and literally everything that Junot Diaz writes for great insights into Blackness.

I don’t read books about social justice.  Period.  Find me an author who isn’t white that has written good science fiction or fantasy?  I did read NeXus recently, and that was written by a guy who isn’t white, so find me more and I’ll consider it.

25. Watch shows that are created by people of color i.e. Atlanta or Insecure. (Seriously, if you haven’t seen Atlanta, you need to watch it. Now.)

No!  Stop telling me what to watch!  I comb through lists, and if I like it, I’ll watch it.  But don’t tell me what to do with my free time!  Bitch.

26. Have a critical eye when watching TV and movies. How are they portraying people of color and why? What purpose does it serve?

You know what I’m gonna do instead of that?  I’m gonna ask – how are they portraying characters.  Not just the “people of color.”  Because rather than wanting good characters of other ethnic groups, I want good characters.  I know, I’m such a piece of shit.

27. If you go to an art gallery, notice how many works are by people of color. If it’s lacking, make some noise, send an email, query the curator. White people shouldn’t have a monopoly on what can be considered art.

No!  If you don’t like what an art gallery is showing, start your own!  Stop telling the rest of the world to suck your dick.  You can go out and do your own shit.  Make your own movies, your own art, and your own art gallery to show it off.

28. If a character you assumed was white in a book is portrayed by an actor of color in the movie, embrace it. Whiteness is not the default.

This just ties into a point I’ve made 1000 times about how you all would rather the rest of popular culture cater to you rather than making your own shit.  See how well it’s done for you so far *cough*The Dark Tower!*cough*

29. Support plays written by and acted in by people of color. The world of theater is overwhelmingly white.

Tell you what, boo, you show me a play by “people of color” in my area, and I’ll see if I want to check it out.  But if I do, I’ll do a review, and don’t expect me to treat it with kid gloves.  If it sucks, I’m gonna call it out for that.

30. Refuse to go to club nights or drag shows or burlesque nights that use culturally appropriative acts.

No.  Cultural appropriation is bullshit.

31. If you have kids, buy them dolls of color and books with characters of color.

No.  If I have a kid, I’m gonna help them to cultivate their own interests.  I’ll show them the books I loved as a kid, and some of those do have characters of color, but not all.

32. Support crowdfunding campaigns for cultural products created by people of color if you can.

No.  Crowd-funding is a real good way to get scammed.  Ask Anita Sarkeesian how that works.

33. Donate money to grassroots movements around you that are run by and support people of color.

If the movement has a cause I can get behind, I’d consider it.  I don’t just look at a movement and go “black people are there!  I will support that!”  That’s how we got people like Barack Obama, who turned his back on the liberals who got him elected based on all the “hope” and “change” bullshit.  Don’t you feel foolish (same with the Trump supporters who believed he would “drain the swamp”)?

34. Support small businesses owned by people of color.

If they sell something I want.

35. If you’re upper or middle class try to avoid moving into an area that has historically been populated by low-income people of color. Gentrification tears communities apart.

No, it doesn’t.  It makes communities look nicer.  The whole “broken windows theory.”  If you want black communities to not be so infested by poverty, I suggest you lobby to end the drug war.  That will do more to help this problem them telling white people to stay away while low-income communities tear themselves apart.  By the way, I couldn’t help but notice you only said low-income communities populated by “people of color.”  So I guess the low-income communities with white people can go fuck themselves?

36. Don’t assume people of color can’t speak English.

I don’t.

37. But also be patient if our English isn’t perfect. Are you bi/tri/multi-lingual? Probably not. It’s hard.

Yeah, if you’re learning a language as a grown-up.  The older you get, the harder it becomes.  I know this kid whose dad is Russian, his mother is Brazilian.  He can speak Russian to his dad, Portuguese to his mom, and English to us totally interchangeably.  It was pretty crazy.  But to your point, I worked in a call center.  Thank Groj later on we got a translator service.  Saved me a lot of headache that I covered with absolute professionalism.

38. In general, just don’t assume we want to be white or want to assimilate. And don’t pressure us to do so.

So, you don’t want to be a part of a community or on good terms with another ethnic group?  Fantastic.  Then don’t be mad when other ethnic groups want nothing to do with you.  We can all have our little homogenized bubbles.  Because that’s what makes for an engaging world.  Fucking moron.

39. Recognize that you can’t assume someone’s religion based on how they look. Not all South Asians and Middle Eastern people are Muslims, not all Black people are Christian, not all East Asian people are Buddhist. You get the idea.

I don’t.  You all are the ones who said that being anti-Islam is racist.  Don’t blame us when your chickens come home to roost.

40. Remember that not all people of color are straight.

I don’t assume that.

41. Remember that people of color are not inherently more homophobic than white people.

The black community in this country is historically VERY homophobic.  Remember Prop 8 in California?  The black community of that state was staggeringly against it.  Things have gotten better when Obama came out in support of the LGBT community, but it isn’t great.  Also, Middle Eastern people have no room to talk about this.  Ever.

42. People can be Black and gay and disabled and trans and middle class. Blackness is expansive. It doesn’t look one way. Keep this in mind.

O-kay….

43. When we talk about race, we’re not just talking about men! Repeat after me: Intersections of race and gender exist.

Who just assumes it’s men?  We’re back in “Shit that Never Happens Land.”

44. Remember that it is Black women and Native women and mixed race women who are most likely to be raped in their lifetimes in America. You cannot be an advocate against sexual violence without considering the impact of race.

I come from a state where rape is damn-near an epidemic.  It’s all over the place because of bush communities of natives, where not only do sex crimes often go unreported, but there are cultural elements at play.  Not to mention, in the bush, the white man is often not a welcome sight.  There are women who would NEVER go anywhere in a native village alone.  Sexual violence is an ugly thing, and the worst part about it is that in your efforts to make it all about your ethnic group, you ignore factors outside of race.

45. Don’t ask Black women if it’s our “real hair.” And don’t judge Black women for wearing wigs or weaves or having relaxers.

I don’t give a shit about your hair.

46. Don’t touch our fucking hair.

Wasn’t planning to.

47. If you have a Black girlfriend, please make sure that your shower is always adequately stocked with conditioner. Never that 2-in-1 stuff!!! We beg you.

No.  Last I checked, she’s a grown woman and can buy her own.  That’s on her.

48. Never try and pull any uninvited “race play” shit in the bedroom. Seriously, what the fuck?

Last I checked, what two people do in the privacy of their bedroom is none of your fucking business.

49. Actively try to identify and unsubscribe from orientalist tropes i.e. believing that East Asian women are naturally more submissive or docile. People of color are people, not characters.

It’s white women I assume to be more submissive and docile, boo.

50. If you call a woman of color “exotic,” you deserve to stub your toe every day for a year. Do. Not. Do. This.

“Shit that Never Happens Land.”

51. Also, saying “I’ve never fucked a Black/Asian/Native etc. person” to someone you’re trying to hook up with is a one way ticket to hell.

Don’t believe in Hell.  This means nothing to me.

52. If you have such fetishistic thoughts, just don’t even bother coming near a person of color.

What I may or may not find sexually appealing is none of your fucking business.  Fuck you.  You do you, and I’ll do me.

53. Remember that having mixed race children is not a cure for racism or a way to live out weird racial fantasies.

Nobody has ever thought this.  Ever.

54. If you’re trying to start a mixed raced family, sit down and deeply interrogate your intentions.

Why?  If you want to start a family with the person you are involved with, typically it comes from a place of “I care very deeply for this person and want to start a family with them.”  But that aside, the reasons they start a family are none of your fucking business.

55. If you do have mixed race children, make sure that they have access to people who look like them and who understand their experiences.

I’ll let them choose their friends  Thanks.

56. If you have a partner of color or children of color, trust and believe that you can still be racist. You’re not exempt. If anything, you have even more of a duty to examine your behavior for the benefit of your loved ones.

No, I don’t.  I have a duty to do the best for my family, and that’s it.  Your social justice bullshit has no part of my family’s life.

57. Take your racist family members to task for the shit they say over the dinner table or via social media.

No.  I believe they have the right to say whatever hateful shit they want.  Unlike you, I actually believe in freedom of speech.  If they ask my opinion on what they said, I’ll convey my belief that it’s racist, but trust me, they don’t ask.  I’m the liberal on a conservative extended family.  They don’t ask.

58. Confront your colleagues who say racist shit unchecked at work.

My colleagues are professionals in an environment with high professionalism standards.  Trust me, the boss would ream them a new one if they said something like “don’t you all hate niggers?”  Oh no!  I said a word that is racially insensitive in the context of what a potential person might say if they were unprofessional and racist!  That must mean I’m a horrible racist!  Oh no!

59. Look around your workplace—are the only people of color cleaners or assistants? What can you do to change that? (The answer is almost never “nothing.”)

Nope.  Our cleaning lady is an old white gal who is a very pleasant individual, and we have a broad spectrum of people with various ethnic groups who are office assistants and caseworkers at my job.  So yeah, we’re just fine.  Thanks for asking.

60. If someone asks you to fill a role that you think a person of color would be better suited for, recommend a talented person of color who you know and forego the position yourself.

Uh, fuck you.  If there’s a chance to get a better position and not have to be in such crushing financial dire straits, I’m going to take it.  I’m already under enough pressure since I live in poverty now.

61. Don’t make us be the de facto diversity guy at work. Or at least pay us extra to do the labor of diversifying the workplace.

In my office, we hire people based on qualifications.  And everyone is paid the same.  That’s how equality works.  Sorry we don’t go out of our way to kiss your ass (not sorry).

62. Refuse to speak on an all-white panel. Regardless of the topic.

No.

63. If there are only a couple of people of color in your seminar, don’t weirdly stare at them when the lecturer poses questions about race and expect them to answer everything.

I don’t attend seminars.  They’re boring.

64. If you’re in charge of making curricula, make sure there is work by people of color, especially women of color, on the reading list. And not just in the weeks dedicated to race.

No.  I’m gonna put in those who I believe to be the best minds on the subject that I’m teaching.  I actually want students to learn.  I know, shocking in a country as stupid as America.

65. Commission people of color to make work about race.

If they have the credentials to show they have studied it in an in-depth way.

66. Commission people of color to make work that has nothing to do with race.

If they have the qualifications I’m looking for.

67. Don’t say things like “there are two sides to every story!” or play devil’s advocate when it comes to conversations about race.

No!  I refuse to “listen and believe” like you all want.  I do this weird thinking thing.  It’s why I left religion and never went to your church of social justice.  All seemed kind of silly to me.

68. In those situations, just listen.

NO!

69. It’s never useful to say stuff like, “But what about the white working class!!!” Have you thought about non-white working class people’s needs?

Right back at ya, sugar-tits.  Except about the first part.

70. Don’t? Vote? For? Racist? Politicians? Can’t believe I need to say this one but it seems like possibly, maybe, some of y’all did not get this memo.

Unless it’s a candidate I believe in, I don’t vote.  I voted in the primary for Bernie Sanders, but then saw Shillary rig the primary against him.  A nice reminder to me that the party supposedly for the people has systems in place in case a candidate for the people actually comes along.  A lesson I feel Democrats have forgotten.

71. Research your candidates. Who has progressive policies that won’t needlessly criminalize people of color? Vote for them.

What “progressive” policies needlessly criminalize “people of color?”  The progressive ideas I am for are things like ending the drug war, which would help an area where black people are most definitely being racially discriminated against.  So yeah, gonna need some examples on this one.

72. Remember that Black women are not here to save you from yourselves. You’ve gotta put in the work, too.

Nobody thinks this way.  Nobody.

73. Be cognizant of how your whiteness could be weaponized against Black people. i.e. white women, don’t play into stereotypes about Black men being inherently threatening to you. It gets Black men killed. See: Emmett Till.

My attributes aren’t weaponized against anyone.  Find me an example of how I, personally, am having the fact that I’m white used against anyone (you have to be specific of who) and I’ll take that argument and beat the shit out of it.

74. Use your white privilege to be on the frontline between people of color and the police at protests. You’re at much less risk than us.

I wouldn’t be caught dead at one of your protests.

75. Record police encounters you see involving Black people.

No.

76. Share alerts when ICE is planning a raid.

No.

77. Stand up to Islamophobia wherever you see it.

No.

78. If you have ever thought a phrase like “Black lives matter” is too assertive, consider why you’re so uncomfortable with Black people standing up for our humanity.

Too assertive?  Is that we call the chant “What do we want?  Dead cops!  When do we want it?  Now!”  Or is that what we call when they are smashing cars and committing property damage?  Or maybe it’s what we call when they have members saying things like telling a white couple who had a baby that their baby should die because it’s white?  Yeah, I’ll call them all sorts of negative things.  Your pathetic attempts at damage control do NOTHING to help your cause.

79. Listen when Black people say, “I’m not comfortable in this situation.” You’ve seen Get Out, haven’t you?

Because fiction is reality!

80. If you haven’t seen Get Out, watch Get Out. Understand that the everyday horror is real.

A film with racial undertones is real.  You people literally can’t distinguish fantasy from reality.  And you wonder why you aren’t taken seriously.  Huh, it’s a fucking mystery.

81. Question whether you have double standards when it comes to drugs. Do you think it’s cool when white weed entrepreneurs make tons of money but think that Black people who are found to have traces of marijuana in their systems deserve to be thrown in prison?

I don’t think that, actually.  I want to end the drug war, because it is destroying this country.  So yeah, totally covered on this one.

82. Don’t have dreadlocks if you’re not Black, just don’t. Beyond being offensive, it’s just not suited to your hair type. Do literally anything else with your hair.

I’ll do whatever the fuck I like with what little hair I have, and you can keep your fucking mouth shut, bitch.

83. Don’t refer to things as your “spirit animal” if you’re not Native. There are other ways to express affinity with something.

I’ll do whatever I like.

84. Do not compare the exploitation of animals to racism. Ever. I’m deadly serious.

I don’t care if you’re serious.  I’ll do whatever the fuck I like.

85. I can’t believe I even need to say this in 2018 but here we go: Don’t wear Blackface.

Who does this?  Outside of edgelords, who does this?

86. Don’t even think about saying the N word. Even if you’re alone. Even if you’re listening to rap. Even if you’re alone and listening to rap.

If I’m listening to 2pac and I hear him say “nigga,” and I’m rapping along, I’ll say whatever I like.  It’s a word.  The power you give it over you it is up to you.

87. Similarly, don’t use the word “g*psy” or “p*ki” or “r*dskin” or any other racial slur. Even if you’re repeating what someone else said or reading from a text.

Like how I call my girly-mate who I met traveling from place to place “gypsy girl” or talking about the Redskins football team?  Like that?

88. That includes the word “colored.” “Person of color” and “colored” are not the same. Trust me.

You’re right, one of them is an “of” and “ed” away from the other.

89. Understand that America has what it has because it stole land from indigenous people and stole people from Africa.

Understand that what’s done is done, and it’s time to move on.  I wasn’t there, and neither was anyone in this generation or the last.  The last three generations have never owned a slave or killed an Indian.  I’m not gonna be held to account for the actions of my ancestors. Sorry (not sorry).

90. Care about race on the 364 days that aren’t Martin Luther King Jr. day.

I care about all sorts of things all sorts of days.  Stop telling me how to live my life.

91. Also, don’t whitewash his legacy and use it to argue that Black people should just take what they’re given lying down.

You all are the ones who dilute that shit down.  Like how you try and ignore the fact that, towards the end of his life, he was much more against income inequality than racial inequality.  He said once that a poor white person and a poor black person have more in common than a poor white person and a rich white one.  So yeah, there’s something you could be championing.  But wait, that doesn’t fit the narrative.

92.Think about how race is operating even when people of color aren’t around. Be cognizant of it wherever you are, whichever situation you’re in. People of color have to, so should you.

I swear, you people should have “it’s because I’m black, isn’t it?” tattooed on your fucking foreheads.

93. Remember that your queerness/womanhood/transness/class background/disability doesn’t exclude you from white privilege.

You were born with Original Sin!  Come into our church so you might be cleansed!

94. Make your feminism useful to all women rather than calling yourself an ‘intersectional feminist’. Show, don’t tell.

Not a feminist.  I’m an egalitarian.

95. Don’t assume, full stop, that you can understand what it’s like to experience racism. You can’t. That’s the whole point.

If someone treats me bad because I’m white, then I can understand.  Thankfully, I’m a fucking giant who walks around with my resting face looking like “fuck off.”  People tend to leave me alone.

96. Understand that nothing in your life has been untouched by your whiteness. Everything you have would have been harder to come by if you had not been born white.

I have had to scratch and claw for everything I’ve gotten.  I haven’t been given a single thing by life, ever!  I bust my fucking ass to get anything.  Don’t you fucking tell me how life is just going out of its way to give me things.  Fuck you!

97. Be grateful for the lesson when you’re called out on racism, getting defensive won’t help.

Not a racist, so calling me one pisses me off.

98. Move past your white guilt. Guilt is an unproductive emotion. Don’t sit there mired in woe, just be better.

Don’t have white guilt.  Fuck off.

99. Recognize that fighting racism isn’t about you, it’s not about your feelings; it’s about liberating people of color from a world that tries to crush us at every turn.

Oh you poor baby.  You have it so fucking hard, here in the First World.  Where you aren’t the victim of random acts of violence by an dictatorial regime, or religious persecution, or like in the Congo, where rape is used as a weapon of military terror.  I feel so bad for you…

100. And remember: Being an ally is a verb, not a noun. You can’t just magically be an ally to people of color because you say you’re one, it’s something that you must continually work on.

Not an ally.  Fuck off.

Until next time, a quote,

“Never argue with stupid people.  They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” – Mark Twain

Peace out,

Maverick