The Wonderful Joy of Religious Insanity about Halloween

Wanna know something ironic?  I hear the same insanity about Halloween from both religious people and atheists.  What?!  How does that work?  Well, let me tell you.  See, when I was a kid, I grew up in the public school system.  Every year, at my school, there was a Halloween carnival.  We would have all sorts of games and what-have-you going on, and one could get some pizza there too.  It was lots of fun.  Along with the complete lack of responsibility, it is something I have missed about being a lot younger.

But at these events, there was something I noticed – some of the people who were my friends didn’t partake.  Their whole families didn’t get involved.  I always thought this was kind of weird.  I talked to them, and I found out something rather interesting – their families didn’t celebrate Halloween.  When I asked them why, you probably can guess some of the answers I got.

The first set of answers was that Halloween is evil.  Even as a kid, I didn’t get that.  And the irony – neither did they.  They gave me the same lines that their parents gave them.  Some said that it was a pagan holiday which celebrated witches (as Christians see them.  Actual followers of Wicca are nothing like that) and thus, God didn’t like it.  That’s funny, because he doesn’t seem to have a problem with a pagan holiday that was stolen which celebrates the birth of his kid (who is also him).

The next set of answers said that this holiday celebrated demons and Satan and it was a holiday of death, and that is why God doesn’t like it.  There is another irony, because every Sunday, he command his children to drink the blood and eat the flesh of a dead guy.  Yeah, that’s not creepy and zombie at all.

So yeah, it was a lot of Christian rhetoric that I we have all heard a thousand times.  It was dumb, pointless, and made no sense to me.  But, I also saw some people who didn’t celebrate it, and these people aren’t the ones I was expecting.  There were several atheist families who also didn’t get in the fun.  This got me to thinking – why not?  It might surprise you that a lot of the answers I got were very close to the ones that Christians gave.

See, many of those that I talked to said that they didn’t celebrate it because it was based on a pagan holiday.  Of course, they tried to justify it better, saying that they didn’t want to indulge ancient superstitions.  That we were supposed to be more evolved, and grown up past that.

Here’s the thing that both the Christians and the atheists who don’t indulge in Halloween don’t get – it isn’t about any of that.  What is Halloween about?  Well, it is about a lot of things.  First, it is about getting to dress up.  When you were a little kid, you played pretend.  You pretended to be somebody else, because it was fun.  Getting to pretend to be your favorite super-hero, or your favorite movie character.  That was a lot of fun, and we all enjoyed it.  But as a grown-up, you can’t do that anymore.  Well, not unless you want to be mocked and ridiculed like those who cosplay or LARP.  But, on Halloween, you are given one night where you can be whoever you want to be.  You can play pretend again, if only to look slutty for some, and ridiculous for others (and don’t get me started with the “It’s not a costume, it’s a culture” bullshit.  If you want my opinion on that, watch this).  But it is a night where you get to have fun, and get to be happy.

Next, it’s about getting to revel in the delight of fear.  I have a feeling that the reason people like scary stories is because it pulls you into the story more.  Think about it – you always wanted to know what the end of the story was, when you were a kid.  You always wanted to know if it was a scary ghost in the house, or if it was just in the imagination of the person’s head.  It made you so much more fascinated.  I remember the Scary Stories books, when I was a kid.  I was scared stiff of them, yet I always wanted to read them.  More and more.  They were loads of fun.  We loved them, my friends and I, and it made every day a new experience.  Now, all grown-up, I still love a good scary story.  I love it when a story doesn’t try and gross me out with gory mess, but instead, plays with me head.  Letting the fear come from a more visceral and psychological place.  We like scary stories, and to be afraid, because it is a catharsis for how relatively easy our lives here in the Western World are.  We have it pretty damn good, but for one night, we can imagine if things weren’t so good.  If they were a little bit evil.  And it is a good feeling.

Oh, and finally, Halloween is about the fucking candy!  I mean, when you were a kid, what did you dress up for?  What did you get in those goofy costumes that your mom and dad thought would look so cute on you and go out around the neighborhood?  You did it because there was the promise of candy delight!  You wanted candy, to make yourself sick the next day.  And you loved every minute of it!  So, these Christians who talk about how this holiday is evil and whatever, they are idiots.  They don’t get what this holiday is about.  And the same for the atheists.  I think, people just need to calm the fuck down about stuff.  For real, have you ever noticed how uptight people are?  It’s like their assholes clench every time they are given a concept that doesn’t mesh with their little view of humanity.

People want the world to fit into a small little box.  Dr. House said it best.  But the problem is that the world doesn’t fit into that box.  The world isn’t as simple as the Christians, Muslims and even the atheists often want it to be.  Life is complicated.  Life is messy.  There are not clear answer to life.  But we have to keep on going, because this is the stuff that matters.

Happy Halloween, everybody.

Until next time, a quote,

“Spoken like a true circle queen. See, skinny, socially privileged white people get to draw this neat little circle. And everyone inside the circle is “normal”. Anyone outside the circle needs to be beaten, broken and reset so that they can be brought into the circle. Failing that, they should be institutionalized. Or even worse – Pitied.”  -Dr. Gregory House, House M.D.

Peace out,



The Satan Paradox

One of the big things that religious people talk about is this character that they all seem to be so spooked of – Satan.  According the biblical theology, he is an angel who defied the will of God, and tried to rebel against God.  There were apparently a lot of angelic life-forms who stood with him in his rebellion.  Of course, since God is apparently all-powerful, he put all of these angels and their rebellion down, and banished them to Hell.  That’s how the story goes.  However, there are some serious plot holes to this concept, that I thought should be addressed.

First off, let’s examine which of these two characters (God and Satan), is the more nefarious, in context to the Bible.  First, let’s look at God.  He flooded the Earth, killing every single man, woman, child, toddler, and baby.  He destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, also killing every single man, woman, child, toddler, and baby.  He has commanded the slaughter of innocent people.  He has no punishment for murder.  He has a lenient punishment for rape.  He commanded a bear to kill children who insulted one of his prophets.  He has looked the other way while those who claimed to do things in his name destroyed cities, raped woman and teenage girls, and even tore open the bellies of pregnant women.  Oh wait, I forgot, that one was a command.

The God of the Bible is not a character that I would follow, under any set of circumstances.  There is absolutely no reason why I would follow this depraved and sick monster into any sort of heaven that might exist.  I want nothing to do with him.  Any character that can say they are all-loving, but have a rap-sheet as long as God has is not somebody that I want to be around, for any reason.  The truth is, reading the Bible makes one understand that God is not a holy, devine, or even decent character.  If you read it carefully, he sounds more like a child who is lashing out at the people that he doesn’t like, if they cross rules that are arbitrary and foul.

Now let’s examine Satan, in contrast.  The only person he ever killed directly was Job’s wife, but here’s the kicker – God gave him permission to do it.  He tempted Eve at the Garden of Eden, but it was God who overreacted and decided to kick Adam and Eve out just because they ate some fruit.  He tempted Jesus in the desert, but Jesus ignored him.  So, what’s the scorecard?  God – millions upon millions of people dead.  Satan – one person dead.  Interesting.

But that isn’t the real paradox of the existence of this Satan character that many Christians will say is the reason for all evil.  Here is something to think about – how exactly can Satan really exist, and what is the logic there?

Thinks about this – God is supposedly, omnipotent, omnipresent, omnibenevolent.  In other words, he’s all-knowing, all-powerful, all-wise, and all-loving.  Alright, if that is the fact, then really, why would Satan oppose him?  Or for that matter – why doesn’t God just stop him?  Or here’s a thought – why would Satan want to oppose him?

The concept of being all-knowing is one of the things that has always bothered me about Christianity.  If God is all-knowing, then there cannot be free will.  If he knows what you are going to do before you do it, then the Puritans got it right.  Whether or not you go to Heaven is not up to you.  It is already done, you can only pray and hope that God decides not to be the omnipotent prick that he chooses to be.

Now looking at Satan, if he is working against God, then if God is all-knowing, all of Satan’s plans are known before they happen.  The outcomes of the plans are known before they happen.  For that matter, why do people argue free will if that is the case?

Next up, let’s look at omnipotence.  If God can do anything, then why do people talk about Satan at all?  What can Satan possibly do?  If God truly is all-powerful, than no amount of power that Satan would have is meaningless.  But the bigger question – why allow Satan, or evil, for that matter, to exist?  What exactly could be served by having evil in this world?  I’m sure that I am going to get some kind of long-winded response from some Christian who really thinks that they can stump me.  But no argument can put that in a good light.  There is no possible argument that can be made that shows that God allowing a force of evil that can supposedly corrupt people and make them do evil things to exist.

Finally, let’s examine all-loving.  What a complete joke.  God has shown, on multiple occasions, that he will do things that are beyond evil.  He doesn’t shy away from genocide, nor does he (in the real world), stop any of the genocides that happen on a daily basis in some of the most poverty-stricken countries on Earth, where nobody can get any food to eat.  The fact is that the concept of God being all-loving is bullshit, because all of us know that if we had the ability to love completely, we would never allow this kind of thing to happen.  We would help everybody, regardless of whether or not they worship us, or kiss our asses.

This is just another example of how the Christian religion is really full of shit.  There is nothing to support their ridiculous claims.  There is absolutely no logic to any of it.  I’m starting to think that the people who believe this crock of shit simply cannot fathom life without the existence of the God that they worship.  It’s sad, pathetic, and actually a little bit depressing.  It shows just how weak humanity is, when they need characters like God to justify their existence.  But you know what I hate most about it – the fact that people will use this weakness to affect the real world, and in a way that helps nobody.

Satan is a joke, and so is God.

Until next time, a quote,

“We are selfish based creatures crawling on this earth. But because we have brains we aspire to achieve something that is less than pure evil.”  -Gregory House, House M.D.

Peace out,


Aliens are from SATAN?!?!

I was watching a video on YouTube that I am very fond of, where tooltime9901 is pwning Shock of God and his ridiculous question that he posed to atheists, asking them to prove that atheism is “true and accurate.”  It was in the comments section that I came across this little gem –

It’s not misinformation, the Bible said there would be false prophets, teachers and religions. One of those is New Age religion. They believe aliens are to help us, when actually they aren’t to be trusted, they are demons I’m 100% sure of that. Do some research on them, even UFO researchers say they are demonic. You are assuming that there could be life. How do you know there is? Is there anyplace that could sustain life like earth? I really doubt it, and we would know by now

Okay, let’s examine this for a couple seconds.  This user, called oscarmarin1995, believes that alien life forms are demons.  After seeing this quote, I decided to go online and follow and see if this line or reasoning had a following of some kind.  And in that place, I came across an absolute gold-mine of a website.  It has no name, really, it is just a random site.  The article in question is called “UFOs and the Bible: Genesis 6 and Nephilim 101.”

This site talks about how all the UFOs that have been seen over the years (haven’t there been shows debunking all the UFO claims?  I could have sworn Mythbusters crushed a claim or two, along with BULLSHIT!) have been nothing but rebellious angels who are acting against the will of God.  I’m not fucking with you, that’s the premise.

Now, before we get into laughing at all the hysterical bullshit in thist site, I think it’s worth mentioning that the concept of life on other planets is not some kind of horrible thing.  While the maker of the website I linked to above may think they are rebellion angels out to do evil on planet Earth and subvert their non-existent God’s plans, the fact is that an alien race is very possible.  There are sure to be planets out there with life on them.  There is new research into life forms that are not carbon based, like us.  It is a fascinating discovery.

While movies and such have portrayed alien life as something menacing and deadly (I’ll admit, I do wonder if Dead Space isn’t destined to happen when we start deep-space exploration), the fact is that most aliens are probably not going to be out to kill all humans.  Most, if they are like us, would be suspicious of us, yet still interested to learn more.  It is something cool to think about, but the website above has a much different take on the whole scenario.

The first thing that the website says is that the bible never said that humans were the only intelligent life forms in the universe.  That’s true, by the way.  I’ll give the guy credit, he did say one true thing.  After that, he goes on to say that there are rebellious fallen angels that have strayed from God’s plan, and are out to do evil to the humans.  Apparently –

Those rebel angels — who appear in many guises, from ghosts to aliens to “Blessed Virgin Mary” or BVM apparitions like Fatima — are the intelligent non-human beings behind UFOs and the paranormal. *THEY* have a plan, their message is a deceptive one.

Yes, all UFOs are the result of fallen angels trying to fuck with humans.  They have a deceptive message and they are going to lead you down the wrong path!  Be afraid, be very, very afraid!  And it gets even better!

 Imagine the confederation of rebellious angels seated in the atmospheric heaven in the spaces above and around our planet. This fundamental of scripture contradicts many traditional concepts of “hell” as the domain of the devil and his minions…

So, according to this guy, hell is not a place that exists in any kind of underworld, it is in the sky!  These angels are all seated in the sky above the Earth, doing their evil deeds up there.  This is all so pathetically amusing.  You gotta love the mind of the religious person.  Full of crazy bullshit that never, ever gets old!  For real, I could listen to this guy go on for hours!  It’s like watching a guy who is really high and thinks he has figured it all out.

 Watcher concluded that aliens SEEMINGLY from another planet would be the only thing that could unite earthlings under one ruler, the antichrist. There is a Biblical precendent for linking UFOs and aliens with the coming of antichrist and End Time Prophecy.

So, let me see if I’ve got this right – aliens are not only fallen angels, but they are also working for the antichrist, and are secretly going to bring about the end of the world.  I love the end of the world prophecies.  They are all so stupid and so fun to read.  This is no different.  I love how all these Christians all believe, in one sense or another, that the world is going to end.  Almost all religions have a prophecy about the end of the world.  They are all stupid, each and every one of them.

There is the Book of Revelations, which is the most well-known among the religiously motivated here in America.  Pure bullshit, straight up.  At least this person has an inventive use of the concept.  They believe that Satan is some kind of air-god, and is going to bring about the end of the world with UFOs.  Funny thing about that – he believes that this is going to happen in 2012.

2012!  The endless date that is used by all the people to justify believing in bullshit.  It’s dumb, it’s worthless, it is a date that means nothing.  The Mayans are not the all-knowing people that everybody seems to believe that they were.  Their calender was interesting, but really, is just that – interesting.

Here’s some truth – aliens are not fallen angels, this guy who made this site is an idiot, and if you never read it, you’ll be smarter for the experience.

Until next time, a quote,

“Foreman you take Alpha Centauri, Chase can check Tatooine and Cameron can setup an Intergalactic Checkpoint.”  -Gregory House, House m.d.

Peace out,