I will admit fully to just looking to vent with this post. Amazon has been pissing me off lately, and I felt like coming to my online audience, who is coming up on 1,000 on WordPress alone and talking to you about it. Seeing if you have had any similar problems. In the age of online convenience, it never ceases to amaze how inconvenient it all can be. The worst part is that there is no recourse for the average consumer. It’s all being handled by computers and people hundreds or in my case thousands of miles away that I can’t do a damn thing about. Because they don’t care about the average consumer. They really don’t. Plenty of online personalities I follow on YouTube talk about what a brick wall that is, but the other online platforms are no better. Let me prove it.
So, I got robbed on Christmas Eve. No joke. Someone came to my sealed apartment building, to a package that Amazon left outside my door, and stole it. How do I know? Because I saw the evidence that they disposed of outside in the ashtray outside the building. The loathesome human being just ripped the package open and left the contents in there. Needless to say, I was livid. Beyond livid. I wanted to find this person and rip their guts out and put their head on the front of my car the way hunters do with deer. I can think of a LOT of people that deserve that treatment, now that I think about it.
Immediately I filed a complaint with my apartment building. My thought was – why couldn’t the USPS guy have just left a slip in my mailbox instead of leaving the package outside my door? It was Christmas Eve, after all, and I had places to be. Specifically places that weren’t there to be. I got a response the next day of business that blew my mind. See, I have Amazon Prime, for reasons that I’m starting to question. At first it was great to not have to pay shipping on lots of stuff, but now I’m seeing the downside. And Amazon has a policy about stuff that is sent from Amazon locations and not independent sellers in respect to USPS. Their policy is that they can’t just put a slip in your box. They HAVE to leave it outside of your place of residence. There’s no room for negotiations.
Needless to say, I was pissed. So, since Amazon has this stupid-ass policy of having to leave packages in unsecure locations, they assume the liability for if the package is stolen. So, I went to their website to see how I could get in touch with them about a refund. And let me tell you – their website’s Help section is the biggest pain in the ass ever. They have no section for if something is stolen. You can type it into their help menu, and it just tells you to wait a couple days.
So then I decide – this is pointless, how can I get in touch with a person? I have a right to a refund, and I want to talk to somebody about that. Finding the talk to someone link is also annoying, having to sift through their endless un-Help(ful) section to find an option to speak to someone on the phone or via chat. I picked the chat option. To the credit of the person I was talking to, they only fed my corporate jargon for a bit before actually approving my refund. All’s well that ends well? Not really. I still have to face the reality that if I want to order something again from them, I get to pay the gamble of if it gets stolen or not. Nice work, Amazon.
Then tonight, Amazon’s wonderful customer service decided to strike again! See, I have a class for college that I am attending again to get certification for medical coding and billing. First class for this new mission, and the cost of textbooks is obscene. Figured I can rent it. That was far cheaper. Everything was going smoothly, until I got to check-out. Been using the same payment method I’ve been using for ages. Never been a problem. Except this time, they won’t take it. Why? Because they demand I get a card that has an expiration of at least 07/2019. What? Are you fucking kidding me?! I decide to go back and see if I can get Help on this Their un-Help(ful) section tells me nothing. So again, I decide to just cut out their website’s bullshit and talk to a person again.
Got a dude tonight, and he told me this is the official policy of the store. For insurance purposes, they have to have a card that doesn’t expire until more than 45 days when the textbook has to be returned. You have got to be fucking with me. So, they are saying that I have to go to my bank and get a new card, then go back on there and do this whole process over again. And by the time I do, I can guarantee that the textbook will be gone. After all, business is closed on Sunday, and I have work from 8 to 4 tomorrow. And my bank would have to send me the card via the mail anyway. This is such bullshit.
What’s the moral of this? All stories have to have a moral, right? The moral is that Amazon fucking sucks, but because everything is a fucking online monopoly, they’re the only game in town. I’d say fuck them, but the shit I want is cheapest with them, so I’m stuck with the pricks. Brilliant.
Until next time, a quote,
“Some mother-fuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.” – Blade, Blade