SIONR: The Reason Final Fantasy versus XIII Never Got Made

While everyone is mad at Blizzard (and rightly so) for basically being a giant bitch for the Chinese government, along with the NBA, I thought it might be worth bringing up how something that had the potential to be amazing got totally screwed because yet-another AAA game developer wanted to appease the Chinese, and in the process ruined what could have been the greatest Final Fantasy game ever.

I remember when the first trailer for Final Fantasy versus XIII came out.  It took my breath away.  The world looked so much like the modern world, and you have a very broody hero facing down an entire army.  They open fire on him, when you see glass-like swords deflecting them.  That was awesome!  For a LONG time, there was nothing.  Then in 2011 they released another trailer!  This one looked even better.  Again, so much like the modern world as you see the Prince and his father driving in a car, with the father ragging on him for being so glum.  In the distance we see airships floating there!  Then we see things get real with gameplay.  It looked sick!  You have this city where things are going to shit, with you having to escape with your friends.

The plot of this game had the makings of something unlike anything we’d seen before.  A young prince, cursed with a deep bond with death.  A young woman, with a connection to a goddess of life.  Both star-crossed, but on opposite sides of a conflict.  You have to fight your way out of the capital, with the goal being to find a way to take back your home.  Some appearances that this may be a story taking some cues from Hamlet, and the makings of a masterpiece were all right there.  Even when the game changed names and became Final Fantasy XV, it looked like there was still potential.

Then the game released, and we realized that it was mediocre beyond all reason.  Clearly rushed out the door just so they could have it be done.  There had been an amazing idea there.  So what happened?!  For years, this question dogged me, until recently I figured out that someone had answered it.  It was discovered that the reason for the end product of all the years of work on this title being for nothing is because of China.  Why am I not surprised?

See, there’s a thing about China – they have a TON of rules in order for a game to be marketed there.  It’s the reason that Disney will never, EVER have openly gay characters in their movies.  The rule on top of all the little nit-picky ones is – no ghosts, no gays.  Either one and your work is dead on arrival.  The reason this ties into Final Fantasy versus XIII is because the Prince and his family have a connection to a god of death.  Noctis can see the light of expiring souls.  But that won’t fly in China.  And Square Enix wanted in on that sweet China cheddar.  The way that so many other companies have been.

Which is why we got a final product that was rushed to market and felt half-baked.  Which is a real fucking shame, if you ask me.  Because I can only imagine what the original product would have been if it had actually been allowed to go to completion.  Star-crossed lovers, forced to do battle because of their affiliation.  A war over a power source to keep and empire alive.  A prince working to retake his home after it’s captured.  What that could have turned into is anyone’s guess.  But no.  I’m really starting to think that Square Enix has lost the spark of what made it great.  Seems like the only stuff they’re putting out is remakes of classics, because they don’t have any original ideas.  And since the remake of Final Fantasy VII is still gonna be released episodically (no joke, they said that’s still a thing), it leaves you to wonder if the spark will ever come back.

AAA gaming is really disheartening to me lately.  Sony is the only one who is taking risks with huge ideas that may or may not always play out.  Well, them and CD Projekt Red.  I miss companies with big ideas and a foolhardy sense of passion to just throw whatever against the wall and see what sticks.

Cool game concepts going to die, microtransactions everywhere, games becoming gambling.  It’s depressing to see the industry.  But a guy can hope.  Every now and again there are real diamonds released.  Sometimes…

Until next time, a quote,

“Always, and never.” – Dwight, Sin City

Peace out,

Maverick

SIONR: The ‘Frozen’ Level in Kingdom Hearts III

This is the worst!  A lot of people have rightly criticized the Atlantica level from Kingdom Hearts II for the god-awful music in it, but to the credit of that level, it wasn’t this.  I cringed with most people, but there was this stupid charm to it all.  Like you could tell that those who did the voicework were really trying to make something good, even if what they had to work with is shit.  I don’t get the same feeling from the Frozen level in the official sequel.

I have FINALLY gotten around to playing it.  I am depressed (as always), and so I figured – this game is dirt cheap on Amazon now, I’ll just buy it!  So far, this game has some problems.  For starters, there are WAY too many cutscenes.  And they all go on for WAY too long.  Some of this stuff is engaging, but other times it’s so boring and I’m sitting here going – when can I get back into that action?!

Then there’s the fact that the Organization is continually handing me my ass in cutscenes and I never get a chance to fight back.  I’ve squared off against five of these dudes by now, and every time I never get to fight.  I’m going to have to kick the ass of XIII of these dudes, so can I please put at least one of them in their place?!  How long is this game where I can continually get my shit kicked in and never be able to step to them?

I knew that the world of Frozen was in this game.  In the back of my mind, I was wondering what it would be like.  Personally, I was hoping we didn’t get the world and just got Elsa.  The lady herself is interesting.  The world from the film she stars in is not.  For those who didn’t know, I HATE Frozen.  Everyone was singing its praises when it came out, and I thought it was mediocre and stupid.  Then there was the music.  Oh my fucking Groj, I could not escape the music of that film.  Everybody, and I do mean everybody, was playing it everywhere.  I despised that film from the bottom of my little black heart.

So imagine my absolute hatred when I get to the world of Arendelle, and I have the exact same fucking music from the film playing!  Ugh!  This is the worst!  It’s all so bad!  What did people like about this?!  It’s all the same bullshit you heard on the radio when this shit was coming out back in 2013.  Seriously, it’s been six years?  Seeing the dates of some of the films represented in this game makes me feel so freakin’ old.

Having to watch a video game cutscene version of the god-damn song Let It Go made me want to rip my ears out.  Who thought this was a good idea.  And they actually have Sora and the gang acknowledging that that happened.  Do they not wonder why a fully orchestrated musical number is playing in the mountains?!

Not a lot more to say, really.  This was the absolute worst.  I will accept the corny, cringe-y charm of Atlantica, but this just annoyed me.

Until next time, a quote,

“Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?” – Lloyd Christmas, Dumb and Dumber

Peace out,

Maverick

SIONR: His Dark Materials: Season One Trailer

For those who didn’t know, one of my favorite book series, growing up, was the His Dark Materials, by Phillip Pullman.  It had great characters.  I liked Lyra, LOVED Will.  The relationship that develops between the two is just beautiful.  The third book, The Amber Spyglass is one of the only books that has ever made me cry.  The ending was so unnecessarily depressing, when it could EASILY have been remedied.  Lyra and Will were both clever young people.  They should have been able to figure their way out of the predicament of never being able to see each other again.

So you might imagine that when they made the first live-action film version, way back when, I was really hoping it wouldn’t be terrible.  I’d seen them ruin so many things I love before, but maybe this time would be different.  The girl playing Lyra looked the part.  Nicole Kidman looked and sounded just as insidious as I would have expected Mrs. Coulter to be.  Sam Elliot was flawlessly cast as Lee Scoresby, with that southern charm.  I liked having Kathy Bates voice his Daemon too.  That was great casting.  Oh yeah, and they got Sir Ian McKellan to voice Iorek Byrinson.  Everything seemed to be set for something great.

What we got was something that shit ALL over the source material.  For starters, Roger lived at the end!  Um…no!  He was fucking dead by the end of the first book.  That’s important for the plot of the sequels.  His gruesome death was a key point to how he is brought back into the plot in the third book at the world of the dead.  Next, the film didn’t end with Lyra stepping into another world.  That’s how it ended.  Her friend was dead and the base was destroyed.  She knew her enemies were hunting her so all she could do was run.  So she followed through the same window that Lord Asriel went through, not knowing where she would end up.  It sets up the next book, where she meets Will in the other world.

But the thing that bothered me most was the fact that they took one of the central plot points of the series and basically gave it the finger.  That plot point was the fact that the main antagonist of film was not the church, but this vague government entity call The Magisterium.  Phillip Pullman was not subtle in the fact that the true villain of the book was the church.  The whole series can be viewed as an analogue to the battle between the Catholic Church and the Protestant Reformation.  That wasn’t an accident.  It’s important.  There are multiple characters representing the church throughout the series, and even angels who the characters interact with.

Pullman was making a very direct statement about how the church, religion, and faith are all corrupt, led by people who are evil and manipulative, using the brainwashed masses to do their bidding.  Lord Asriel stood as a beacon of rebellion against them.  And so the church did everything in their power to destroy him.  The third book has a massive battle between the church’s forces and the army Asriel builds, which ends with Metatron, one of the biggest angels of all getting killed, along with Asriel.  It’s implied that both sides are utterly destroyed.

When I heard that a trailer had dropped for a new series that HBO is launching for this novel franchise, I was wondering what they would do with it.  So I watched the trailer.  And…I’m pissed. Won’t get into the fact that Lee Scoresby has been turned into a none-Southern dude and all that southern charm has been sucked away.  Whatever.  Or that we don’t hear Iorek speak.  That’s weird.  He did.  It was him who gave Lyra the moniker Silvertongue, due to her ability to lie so well.

But the thing that has me pissed off is this – why is the villain the Magisterium again?!  They were a puppet government who was basically a branch of the church!  It wasn’t them who was ever referred to as the main antagonist.  It was always the church!  Why is it that no production company is willing to do this right?  Is everyone just too afraid to shit on America’s religion of choice?  Is no one willing to take the steps Pullman did by making it understood that religion and faith are the enemy of logic and reason?  Of course not.  Because you have the Christian right shitting bricks and getting just as pissed off as the regressive left would for their hot-button issues.  How either side can call the other “snowflakes” is beyond me.

I wouldn’t be so upset about this if it wasn’t a central conflict in the story.  Huge portions of this narrative revolve around the war between Asriel and the church.  Especially in the third book.  By then, Asriel has basically declared war on Heaven itself.  And the implication is that he wins, albeit by taking the highest angel down with him.  Why can nobody run with this?  You’d think HBO would have more stones than a big movie production company.  They can afford to take risks.  But no.  I guess they have to play it PC for the right, because fuck what Pullman was trying to make.

Not gonna watch it.  The books will always be better anyway.  A pity that Will McAvoy is having his talents wasted in this piece of shit.  He’s a phenomenal actor and could probably play a good Asriel.  If only he was in a better production.

Until next time, a quote,

“All the history of human life has been a struggle between wisdom and stupidity.”  – Mary Malone, The Amber Spyglass

Peace out,

Maverick

SIONR: Disney is Remaking A Night on Bald Mountain in Live Action (CG)

I fucking hate modern Disney.  There are not words to describe how shitty they are.  I could sit here and explain in exhaustive detail all of my grievances with modern Disney, but then I’d be here for hours and you all would get REALLY bored.  Understandably so.  But what they are doing to cash in on people’s nostalgia has finally reached the point that it pisses me off beyond the pale.  I could handle them fucking over the legacy of Robin Williams with their shit-tastic version of Aladdin.  Especially since Will Smith sounds medicated in that movie.  I listened to the soundtrack, and he sounds so tired in every song he sings.  I was annoyed but just shrugged and went “whatever” when I saw their “live-action” version of The Lion King being advertised.  Sure, all the CG animals have zero personality because they have the uncanny valley level of CG detail, but whatever.

I’ve heard that they are remaking Lilo & Stitch.  Because that’s just what that filmed needed!  A fun and colorful and touching story about a girl, an alien, and finding the meaning of family.  It needed to be remade with Disney doing their now trademark diversity pandering!  Yay!  They’re remaking The Little Mermaid.  Maybe they can have Ariel be a Muslim mermaid.  Have her wearing a seaweed burka.  Diversity, after all.  And you know what, that’s all fine too.  Because after all, why would we want to have those old 2D animated films be the ones we remember?  Those aren’t the moves for “grown ups,” after all.  No, instead we have to remake them in the worst way possible, with acting that is The Last Airbender levels of bad.  Taking all the charm and whimsy the animated films had and bending them over a table without any lube.

Then I found out something utterly horrifying that has pissed me off so much – they are remaking A Night on Bald Mountain in “live-action.”  Oh boy.  Fuck you Disney!  Fuck you and your creatively-bankrupt company!  You all take the things that people love and fuck them over the ass. I loved that piece in Fantasia.  It’s my second-favorite.  My first being The Rite of Spring, telling the story of the growth of life on Earth.  A Night on Bald Mountain is a fantastic piece.  The levels of darkness, both musically and dramatically is just insane.  The demon Chernabog summoning the souls of the dead and the damned for an insane party for one night, it’s incredible.  The animation is flawless.  Absolutely flawless.  The portrayal of the dead and the damned is just so perfect.  As they rise from the graves, rising up the mountain, you can almost feel the dread the townspeople are feeling as they stay inside and hope that dawn comes soon.  It all builds and builds, culminating in the most visceral experience I have ever seen in 2D animation.  Nothing else has even come close.  Plus, at the end, there is the fantastic pairing up with Franz Schubert’s “Ave Maria,” which has the townspeople seeking the light of Heaven to cleanse them of the darkness.  It’s perfect.

So I guess a whole bunch of suits and Disney are sitting around going…
“Hey guys, we’ve been remaking all of these classic movies and making money like gangbusters.  What else do we got?”
“How about we take that one bit from Fantasia about the demon and remake it!”
“But that’s not a whole story.  It’s a musical showing of what happened during one night.  How could we make that into a full-length movie?”
“Just have some big actors/actresses with some stupid story about killing the demon and put in some diversity shit to make people talk about how, if you don’t see it, you’re a bad person.  All of this nostalgia shit makes money anyway, so we can make this into whatever we want.  Just make sure all the advertising for the movie only shows the stuff that will play on people’s nostalgia.  We don’t want them to know that this is just a cash-grab that can make us a fuck-ton of cash.”

And then I figure that they laugh heartily and pay some Thai child to dance on top of a tank full of piranhas for their amusement.  Because Disney is pure evil, after all.

I can’t believe that Disney is doing this.  It isn’t enough that they took this franchise and turned it into a fucking Kinect game?!  It isn’t enough that they have made cash-grab after cash-grab of all their old 2D films, and every last one of them has fucking sucked?!  Without a single exception!  They are all nothing but trash!  That isn’t enough?  Now you have to take one of the hallmarks of animation and turn it into another piece of shit, all so you can make a quick several hundred million dollars to satisfy your investors?!  Oh how I wish Chernabog were real, so he could turn you and all your board of directors into pig demons.  It would be fitting, after all.  Then he could put you in front of a pile of money and tell you to worship it.  Would be fitting, given what you all do.

How people can stomach modern Disney is beyond me.  They pander to diversity because it sells.  The moment it doesn’t, they will kick it out the door like a $10 whore.  It’s why you don’t see gay characters in their big-budget movies, after all.  Because then they wouldn’t be able to sell their films big in China.  Although, I guess they won’t have to worry about that with this live-action trash.  You can’t have ghosts in films that go to China either.  So hey, go big with the gay pandering in this movie.  Oh wait, that would be hard because the premise is about a demon having a giant party.  Associating that with gay people would send the wrong message to the far-left community you are trying to pander to.

Ah, what the Hell.  Just fuck over the entire storyline.  In order to make this have a 90 minute runtime, you’re already gonna have to do that anyway, so might as well go big.  Make Chernabog a person of color transgender pansexual.  They aren’t having a party with all the damned and the souls of the dead that they summoned to them with their presence.  They just wanted to give all the dead POCs a place to gather where they feel included.  The villain can be Christian white nationalist groups!  Maybe they are having a straight pride parade!  Yeah, that’s a great angle.  It’s not like Disney or whatever two-bit director they will get for this shit actually cares about the story they are adapting anyway, so why not?  I’d kind of prefer that you all just go the distance with fucking the story over.  Then I don’t have to feel like you are shitting on one of my favorite movies.

But you can guarantee that I’m not giving Disney money to see this trash.  Not a fucking chance.  Disney and their live-action butt-rape of this bit from one of my favorite films can suck a dick.  Can suck all the dicks.  Fuck Disney.  Fuck these live-action movies.  They all suck.  They will always suck.  The critics who say nice things about them are paid shills.  The audience who likes them is Americans who we already know are dumb as dirt.  Fuck this.  Can these people please stop raping what I love?

Until next time, a quote,

“It’s very simple – if you stop going to bad movies, they’ll stop making bad movies.” – Jay Sherman

Peace out,

Maverick

SIONR: Three More Star Wars Movies…

This franchise needs to die.  This franchise needs to fucking die right the fuck now.  It needs to die the death of a thousand cuts.  I thought that the prequels ruined this franchise, but I was wrong.  The new films did.  And before you write this off as me just being some Red Pill guy who hates the movie because wahmen, don’t.  I hate this franchise now for a whole bunch of other reasons.  Though I do think that Rey is boring and you could cut her from the most recent numbered film and nothing would have changed.  Not really.  Daisy Ridley can’t act, but that’s not her fault.  Emma Watson can’t either, and everyone loves her too.  But this franchise needs to go, and Disney has told us that it’s not going to.  Ugh…

What am I talking about?  I’m talking about the fact that Disney just announced that there are three more numbered films being made.  Groj only knows how many side-movies that means too.  You’d think they would have learned their lesson after what a financial disaster Solo was.  Well, I suppose they kind of did.  They realized that the best way to make these movies is to just feed the fandom fan service to make them cum in their pants.  That’s why you have J.J. Abrams back in the driver’s seat.  Rian Johnson tried to do something different and failed so spectacularly that J.J. outright said that he is going to retcon the ending to the previous numbered film for the next movie coming out this December.  Wow.  That’s pretty bad.  The trailer was boring and stupid, and it ends with the biggest fan service moment of all time – the Emperor laughing!  How did he survive being atomized in the Death Star?  I’m sure the answer will be stupid, but the fanbase doesn’t care.  They will cum in their pants just like Disney wants them to.

See, that’s the thing about Star Wars fans.  They are die-fucking-hard.  It doesn’t matter how stupid you makes these movies, how ridiculous the plot is, they will eat it up.  They will eat that shit sundae and make videos on YouTube defending them.  Hell, there was one where someone said the most recent numbered film was the best in the entire franchise.  J.J. Abrams said you don’t like it, you hate women.  This fanbase is so utterly exploitable.  Even Marvel isn’t this easy to cash-grab.  Disney seems to have realized where they hit their limit and is now toning it back.  But not Star Wars.  You can feel slop to these people for eons and they won’t care.  It blows my mind.  Part of why I have always avoided fandoms.  These bitches be crazy!

Never mind that The Force Awakens was a mediocre film at best.  It had the Millennium Falcon!  Never mind that Rogue One was genuinely bad for two acts, with only the final battle sequence being cool.  Never mind that The Last Jedi was a giant dumpster fire that was awful in every way, or that Solo was butt ugly to look at and boring.  They are still cheering that three more films are being made.  They don’t care.  I wonder what it would take for them to give up on the franchise.  I really do.  Disney has realized that taking risks with this license is a bad thing, so you know that it’s going to be nothing but fan service for years.  Is there ever a point where that isn’t enough?  When boring movies aren’t able to be sold to the fanbase just based on what pandering you put in there?  That’s not a rhetorical question.  I really want to know.

From where I’m standing, this franchise needs to fucking die!  It’s past the point where it is able to be enjoyed on any level.  The fan service does nothing for me.  The films have gone from mediocre and have been getting progressively worse.  Sure, Solo wasn’t even close to as bad as The Last Jedi, but the fact that it was so boring and I can’t remember the plot hardly at all is kind of worse.  I can at least remember everything about the former movie.  Especially the scene where Leia becomes Mary fucking Poppins to go back into the ship.  That was so funny to me when I watched it.  I was laughing so hard in the theater when that happened.  Got dirty looks from fanboys, but whatever.  If you can’t see why that’s so stupid, I pity you.

This franchise should have died thirty years ago.  No prequels, no sequels, just death.  Let it die with some fucking dignity.  Oh wait, this is modern Disney we’re talking about.  You know, where every one of their classic cartoon films is being remade as live-action cinematic abortion.  EVERY single one of their live-action films has sucked.  Badly.  Disney can’t let anything die.  Then they’d have to do something original, and I don’t think they even know how to do that at this point.  Things to ruminate on, eh?  I refuse to partake in any of this.  I said in my Solo review that that’s it.  No more.  I won’t let me friend give any of his money on my behalf (he convinced me to go on the pretense that he would pay my way) to see these movies when they are either going to range from okay to a turd sandwich.  I’m done.  Hopefully you are too.

Until next time, a quote,

“This sucks.”
“Yeah, this really sucks!” – Beavis and Butthead

Peace out,

Maverick

SIONR: Sony Admits to Censoring Sexual Content in New Games

Something people have been talking about for a long time now, and it’s finally been verified.  And it’s something that pisses me off.  Why?  Because now we have a major gaming platform that has openly admitted that it is going to censor the free expression of those who make gaming content.  It’s bullshit.  Weapons grade bullshit.  It will stifle creativity, and what’s more, I think it is going to fuck up one of the games I am most excited for.  I’m talking about Sony finally admitting that they are censoring sexually explicit content in gaming.  Here’s a link to an article, now let’s talk about it.

In a statement to the Wall Street Journal, Sony said that they are placing a strict limit on the sexual content that comes to games that go to the PS4.  Why?  Why do you think?  Because of all the #MeToo bullshit.  I should have seen this coming.  I really should have.  When Spider-Man: Homecoming had Mary Jane be SJW-tastic, I should have seen this coming.  Of all the movies that are basically Social Justice: The Movie, they seem to oscillate between Disney and Sony.  But now it’s finally come to their console.  It pisses me off.

I mean, why?!  Oh right, because they don’t want to “inhibit the sound growth and development of younger players.”  What a crock of shit.  But the source I cited did point out that the reason for this is almost certainly because of the fact that the PS4 is so big on streaming.  It’s a key part of the console’s features.  So naturally, young people can see games with naughty naughty things in them.  You know, because parents exist now just to put their kids in front of screens.  So the social justice gaming journalism circle-jerk has certainly written about this ad nauseum.  They’ve been trumpeting this shit for as long as I’ve been alive.

The source I cited definitely is pro-social justice.  They make a point in a positive that Sony is “taking a critical look at how game’s content portrays women.”  Yeah, because these digital women who don’t actually exist in the real world need to be protected, right?  Because fuck a developer’s creative freedom.  We have Sony being puritans.  This is such bullshit.  I wonder what would happened to Quiet in Metal Gear Solid V on their console if the game had been released now.

What’s more, Sony acknowledges that devs don’t like this, but their response – deal with it.  That’s just brilliant.  Creative freedom?!  Fuck that!  Artistic expression and not stifling the artist?!  But women, Lucien!  And I can already hear the social justice wankers response – if you don’t like it, don’t play it.  You know, maybe yeah.  I’m a console pleb.  Been all my life.  It’s easy.  You just buy a game, put the disc in, and play it.  That convenience has always been valuable to me.  But now I have my console of choice telling me, flat-out, that I can’t trust what they release anymore.  That now everything that comes to them goes through a puritanical censor first.

The reason this makes me so upset is that one of the games that I am most stoked for this year, Cyberpunk 2077, has already said that they are going to have explicit content in the game.  You can date, hook up with character in the game.  There’s also the fact that it’s a violent world where bad things happen to men and women.  Like in that demo where you see the naked bodies in the bathtub and you have to pull one of them out.  Guess that’s out in the game!  Same with scenes where if I choose to foster any relationships, I guess I get the neutered version of any intimacy.  It’s all such bullshit!

I like games where I can build relationships with characters.  It’s a big part of why I game.  So the fact that we have a company who has said that this new project, that looks so fucking awesome, also has that factor and even has it that you can grow relationships and get intimate?  That’s cool!  Wish I got to see Shepherd and Garrus hook up in the Mass Effect games.  Femshep was my girl, and Garrus is the coolest bro ever.  The thing that will never be.

One developer rightly pointed out that if you stifle the creativity of developers, you just push this stuff into niches.  And they will.  And people will go there.  Whether it’s to get their pervvy fix, or to get a game that isn’t afraid to go physical with stuff.  They will go to where the content is.  It’s funny, but people have defended game companies kowtowing to social justice by saying that they don’t want to lose customers.  I guess Sony is cool losing revenue too.  Because how much money will they lose on people going somewhere else?  Fucking Nintendo is letting explicit content onto their console!  Nintendo!  They are the family friendly icon, Sony!  What the fuck is your excuse?!  Oh right – Wahmen.

Creative freedom is looking more and more uncertain in the years to come.  I don’t like that.  I believe that all ideas and expression belong in the open marketplace of ideas.  But I know that I am in a minority on that.  A real shame, but whatever.  In the meantime – you fuck with my Cyberpunk 2077, Sony, and there will be Hell to pay!

Until next time, a quote,

“Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children?!” – Helen Lovejoy, The Simpsons

Peace out,

Maverick

SIONR: Bill Maher Makes Fun of Stan Lee Fans

Man, I remember a while back when I saw the stand-up of Bill Maher during the Bush years.  That was some funny shit.  But over the years, I’ve seen a comedian who made fun of politics and religion turn into something else.  It was a gradual thing, and maybe my own nostalgia put on some goggles that I couldn’t see around, but I did get to see Maher become a very different person.  It was a person who I am finding more and more I don’t like.  In fact, I kind of hate the pretentious prick.  Why?  Because Maher has become one of those people who does just like my conservative uncle and attacks the generation beneath him.  Why?  Because we don’t fit into the mold that he believes all adults should.

As such, when Stan Lee died, he didn’t take the opportunity to talk about how he promoted a world of tolerance and fighting hate with kindness, instead he took the time to attack those who read comic books as adults and who admire Stan Lee.  Why?  Because we aren’t adult enough for him.  Here’s a link to the blog post in question, now let’s talk about it.

The guy who created Spider-Man and the Hulk has died, and America is in mourning. Deep, deep mourning for a man who inspired millions to, I don’t know, watch a movie, I guess. Someone on Reddit posted, “I’m so incredibly grateful I lived in a world that included Stan Lee.” Personally, I’m grateful I lived in a world that included oxygen and trees, but to each his own. Now, I have nothing against comic books – I read them now and then when I was a kid and I was all out of Hardy Boys. But the assumption everyone had back then, both the adults and the kids, was that comics were for kids, and when you grew up you moved on to big-boy books without the pictures.

Oh I’m sorry, Bill.  I’m sorry that people don’t fit into your narrow viewpoint of what is acceptable behavior for an adult.  That really does bum me out.  I mean sure, there have been some comics that tell mature stories like “Maus” or “The Killing Joke.”  Can’t have that.  Then we have to start opening our eyes to other forms of art that exist.  I swear, this sounds EXACTLY like Roger Ebert (the most overrated film critic in history) saying that video games can never be art.

Wanna know something, Bill?  I like “big-boy books without pictures” too!  You can like both!  I can marvel at the research Crichton shows off in books like “Prey,” and the amazing look at the connection between the military and science books like Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s work “Accessory to War: The Unspoken Alliance Between Astrophysics and the Military.”  But then I can read the Old Man Logan series of comics and like that too, for very different reasons.  Does this make me stupider?  Does this make me a lesser person because of it?  I’m all ears, you pretentious talk show jockey.  Yeah, because you are fostering the “intellectual” side of the world, right?

Like the days you had that show Politically Incorrect where it was about people arguing.  Was that a more grown-up version of Jerry Springer?  To what intellectual caliber do you ascribe that show?  I put it as political talk show, entertaining but intellectually void.  Much like the show you do now.

 

And now when adults are forced to do grown-up things like buy auto insurance, they call it “adulting,” and act like it’s some giant struggle.

Hey Bill, I’m gonna let you in on a little something.  It’s something that your entitled ass wouldn’t know thing-one about, because you’ve been in your financial situation for a REALLY long time, but for people like me it is part of every day, but when you are poor as fuck, buying car insurance is a big deal!

There was a time, a few years back, when I was so poor that I had to make a choice between keeping the roof over my head or eating, and I chose the roof.  I’ve starved myself in order to keep my apartment.  That’s how bad things have been for me.  I am 30 years old as of ten days ago today, and I FINALLY have a job where I don’t have to be scared to death of my finances.  Where I can actually save and try and build a future.  So when I had to look at car insurance, because my parents couldn’t help me anymore, it was a huge fucking deal for me, because this was before I was where I am now and my job was barely making enough for me to scrape by.

Between my medical issues and my insurance only covering so much (that’s another thing, I have a job where I have insurance now.  Otherwise I would be in real trouble), there are so many financial issues I have to contend with on a monthly basis.  Up until I got this most recent job that I started on Tuesday, thinking about my finances was a scary thing that gave me sweats some nights.  It’s genuinely strange to not be in that position.  To be able to go on Amazon and look at my list of stuff I want and go “huh, I can actually buy some of this stuff now.”

But what would you know about this?  What would a man who has been worth millions of YEARS know about what it’s like to be in my position?  Not a fucking thing!  Hell, you have made a sport at yelling at millennials because we aren’t conforming to what you want us to be.  Now sure, you’ve gone after legitimate problems like the insane regressive left, but when you have these moments.  Ones where you attack us for something that is so insignificant.  Yeah, we lost an icon for an industry that has given so much to us.  We lost a great man who has objectively done so much for our species.  That doesn’t matter, though!  You can use this as a launch-point to ridicule the generation beneath you.

You are such a prick.  You’ve become the angry grandpa yelling at the kids today for their music and their television and their anything else that doesn’t make sense to you.  How ironic, you went from making fun of those who were older and holding the younger generation back, to becoming one of them.

I’m not saying we’ve necessarily gotten stupider. The average Joe is smarter in a lot of ways than he was in, say, the 1940s, when a big night out was a Three Stooges short and a Carmen Miranda musical. The problem is, we’re using our smarts on stupid stuff. I don’t think it’s a huge stretch to suggest that Donald Trump could only get elected in a country that thinks comic books are important.

Bill, I’m gonna be straight with ya here – fuck you.  You’re so fucking uninformed.  You look at the forest and the trees are a mythical creature that you have never seen before.  I don’t get how someone who claims to be an advocate for liberal America can’t see the problem.

Donald Trump got elected because of over 30 years of “lesser of two evils” voting.  He got elected because a corporate dinosaur rigged the primary against and ACTUAL person standing up for the common man (and who you whole-heartedly supported.  As Julian Assange pwned your ass with, someone you gave $1 million to), and was so disliked by her own party that she couldn’t fill up a high school gym.  Meanwhile, her primary opponent filled up stadiums.  Her and her party used every trick in the book, along with the fact that the Democratic Party is nothing but corporate shills to make it so people couldn’t vote if they weren’t registered Democrats, the superdelegates were already in Shillary’s pocket, and that she actually OWNS the DNC!  Did the revelation from Donna Brazile chap your ass?  Exposing that corporate bitch for what she is?

The orange-haired buffoon got elected because Hillary was so arrogant to just assume that the rust-belt states had her back and would stand with her, so she didn’t campaign there, while her opponent campaigned hard and actually talked to people there.  You know, something neither you nor Hillary know anything about doing.  I kinda wonder what an actual conversation with either of you would be like.  Her especially since she’s a corporate drone.  Can’t input the talking points if she’s talking to a real person and not a teleprompter.

Let’s be honest, Bill, you’re nothing but an out-of-touch dinosaur, along with all the other Corporate Democrat dinosaurs who are mad at the kids for not standing with you.  Except we aren’t kids anymore, Bill.  We’re grown-ass adults, and now we can vote, and we can choose to stay home and not support someone we hate.  That’s something we can do!  I know, shocking stuff.  So bourgeois liberals like you get all mad and instead of actually looking at the reasons why, you do what the regressive left you have gone after does – you attack those who don’t agree with you.  You attack the youth for not towing the line.

Fuck you, Bill.  It saddens me that someone I used to think was one of the good guys is now just another tool of the worst aspects of this country.  Just like Nancy Pelosi (the bitch who needs to go) and the woman you gave more money than people like me will likely ever see in our lives to, Hillary Clinton.

Until next time, a quote,

“We’re really sorry we suck so much.  I mean, it’s not like we jacked up college tuition prices or destroyed the manufacturing industry, started two quagmire wars, gutted the unions, destroyed the global economy, and left our offspring with an environmentally devastated planet stripped of its natural resources.  Man, it would be crazy if there was a generation that recklessly awful, huh?” – Millennials: We Suck and We’re Sorry

Peace out,

Maverick