I really do. Watching Hollywood eat itself is just beautiful, to me. In my eyes, it’s like watching a really bad train wreck. You realize it’s horrifying and causing untold amounts of destruction, but you can’t look away. As more and more is coming out, I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. What do I mean? Let me elaborate.
By the other shoe, I mean for someone really huge to be implicated in all this. I’m talking about someone like Steven Spielberg or James Cameron. I’m waiting for their dirty laundry to come out and blow up all over the Internet. At which point, I get to sit back and embrace the madness. And I really will. It will be a thing of beauty beyond comprehension. Perhaps you are confused by that. It’s really simple – Hollywood is in desperate need of this.
It’s no secret that I am kind of bored with movies lately. It’s all shit we’ve seen before. The MCU is looking to wrap up, and good on that. After it’s all said and done, we can look back and see which films are truly standout examples of good superhero cinema and which ones are just boring dreck. Meanwhile, what else is big? Oh, right, we have DCEU, with one good film to date. One. Batman v Superman was stupid, Suicide Squad was boring, and Man of Steel should have been named Man of Product Placement and Superman Not Giving a Shit About People. Universal tried to get in on this stupid cinematic universe nonsense with the “Dark Universe.” Thankfully, that idea died in the womb. 20th Century Fox is taking real risks and making superhero films that are pushing limits and really going into dark places with hardcore violence. Their latest big film is going to be a superhero horror film, which is unfortunately going to tank because it doesn’t have name recognition. Which sucks because I find the concept intriguing. Sony Pictures needs to die. It just, needs to die. Sell the rights to Spider-Man to Disney, because they seem to know how to treat this character.
You notice something about all those studios? Their biggest projects lately are superhero films. A genre that is getting really tired. What else is big these days? Oh, right, we have the boring, by-the-numbers Star Wars films that bring NOTHING original or interesting to the table aside from boring, soulless, “empowered” female protagonists. And once they are done with the latest boring trilogy, they have already said they are going to immediately start working on yet-another trilogy! Oh boy! Because if they can’t beat a horse that should have died 30 years ago, what else can Disney do? A franchise that survives solely because Star Wars fans cum in their pants every time the Millennium Falcon is on screen. Mr Repzion fucking cried over that. That was the cringiest, funniest thing I have ever seen. He fucking cried over blatant fan service. It’s because of people like that that I don’t watch Star Wars films anymore. Nor will I play Battlefront II: Loot Box Gambling Bullshit.
I’m honestly getting a little bored of Hollywood lately. You have absolute masterpieces like Blade Runner 2049 tanking at the box office, while films like Star Wars: A New Hope Remix makes over a billion dollars. So studios aren’t going to change course or take risks. It’s just devolving more and more into big films that are guaranteed to make a shit-ton of money, even if they are boring. Because that’s what the retarded American public wants, apparently.
So I genuinely hope that the next big scandal is so massive that it rips Hollywood open at the foundations and tanks the film industry for a while. Then it can rebuild and we can get smaller budgeted films with neat ideas because the public will finally realize that we got boring crap for so long because we allowed it to get this way. We need to rip this problem up by the root! I want the film industry to suffer for a while. While it gets to drain the poison from itself, we can get rid of some of the boredom. Maybe we can knock Disney down a few pegs and actually convince that evil fucking corporation to try something new for a while. A thought? Maybe I am being too hopeful.
In any case, watching the septic tank that is Hollywood eating itself is no problem to me. Fuck ’em. What about you? Let me know what you think in the Comments.
Until next time, a quote,
“The turians think they know a thing or two about a scorched earth response. Fuck ’em.” – Jack, Mass Effect 2