This sucked! This is the worst trailer I have ever seen, in the history of trailers that are meant to get people’s hype up. What the fuck was this?! I have never seen a trailer so bereft of essential material to what they are trying to market in the history of movie trailers. This trailer could be for anything and I don’t think that anyone would see the difference. This could be for any retarded action movie and people would not be able to tell the difference. I hate this trailer, and it is making my expectations for a film that I am GENUINELY hoping is awesome fall to the fucking floor. Can Sony PLEASE sign over the rights to everything in the Spider-Man film to Disney already?! They can’t fuck it up worse than they have. I could go on and on about it, but let’s show the trailer so you can see what I mean.
Do you see what I’m talking about?! What did we learn in this trailer? That Tom Hardy’s accent is odd? I know that Hardy is an amazing actor. I’ve loved him in everything I have seen him in. Even in movies that I think are horribly flawed, like the last Star Trek film that he starred in as a young Picard, his role was still fantastic. So what is up with his accent? You know what, never mind. Hugh Laurie’s accent wasn’t great either but I still loved House.
Where is the titular character?! I get that this is an origin story, but only showing a brief little tidbit of a symbiote is not going to get me excited for this film. They are talking about fucking Carnage being here. They are saying it is going to be a violent R-rated film. Why are they not leading with that?! Let’s see some of the violence! I get that it’s smart to keep the full reveal of the character for the film itself. Too many films play their hand too early. I do want to be surprised. But you can still do that and have a trailer that doesn’t cheat everyone of at least a glimpse of what they are supposed to get excited about.
Let’s see some of Carnage’s violence? He rips and tears people to pieces. Let’s see some dismembered bodies! Let’s see some of the twisted death in his wake. That’s a neat idea! Have a flash where we get to see him, or how about the titular fucking character? Maybe have Tom Hardy finding the symbiote? Why not that? There are so many better things they could have done, and not one of them was done in this fucking trailer!
What blows my mind is how many positive votes it has. Did we watch the same trailer?! I don’t think so, because all I saw was meaningless voiceover that could be for anything, shots that could be for anything, without a single semblance of rhyme or reason. This was actually worse than the Solo trailer. By the way, that looks like shit too. The pretty boy they got for the role looks NOTHING like the character. That film will suck. But back to this movie, this trailer was shit and it has set the bar incredibly low for a movie that I want to see and genuinely hope is good.
3 out of 10