Lucien’s First Take: Dear White People (Netflix Trailer)

You know, I’m starting to think that anti-SJWs are becoming just as bad as the SJWs they mock.  Why?  Because it seems like every little thing now leads them to some stupid boycott that won’t work and doesn’t really matter, yet gets trending on Twitter to make them feel like they are doing something important.  Recently, the trailer that we are going to watch got them all to have their panties in a bunch and start a boycott of Netflix.  Really?  Over this?  I’m a fucking hipster douche canoe who doesn’t even have streaming on Netflix and still does DVDs and even I see this as stupid.  Yeah, you just learned something about me that really makes me look pathetic.  I understand if you look down upon me.  It’s the same reason that I will have such a hard time getting into downloading games instead of having a disc copy.

This stupid boycott was started over a trailer that has a like/dislike ration that eerily mimics another big SJW-approved piece of work.  I wonder what that could be…?  And just like that one, battle lines have been drawn.  The title of this work is “Dear White People,” and I thought that we would look at this trailer and break down our impressions.  Weigh in with a more sensible voice about the nature of how good or bad it is.

So, we first get to see an image of stereotypical white people.  We have Douchebag Von Asshole V, and Betty Steenvirgin waving, as a black woman is about to tell me what kinds of Halloween costumes are acceptable.  Here’s the answer – any fucking kind I want.  I have the right to dress whatever way I want for Halloween.  As do you.  As does anyone who is watching this bullshit.  If you don’t like it, you are free not to associate with me.  As you are clearly a person with far-left, SJW political opinions, I doubt we would get along anyway.

Then it has a headline – America Needs.  Boy, I can think of a thousand things that I could fill in that end space with.  How about – to get away from dogmatic thinking?  Or maybe – to kick these SJWs to the curb?  Or, perhaps – to stop being so fucking pussy that we can’t deal with opposing points of view?  Yeah, those are all great things to fill in there.

We then get her deciding to go into a tirade about blackface.  Here’s where I am going to say something unpopular – I don’t give a fuck about blackface.  Really, I don’t.  Is it stupid?  Yeah.  Does it portray an ethnic group in a way that may be unflattering?  Probably.  But here’s the thing – that kind of shit only offends you if you have some kind of allegiance to your race.  This is something that I do not have. For example, we see our white people stereotypes.  Are they unflattering?  Sure.  Do I care?  Not at all.  Hell, I think they are kind of funny.  Like the cliche of what liberal elitist snobs are supposed to be.  These are the same kinds of people who are listening to what this bitch has to say and taking it seriously.  It isn’t the frat boys who actually want to live their lives as they see fit without breaking the law.  It isn’t the middle class people who are just going through their day-to-day and don’t give a flying fuck about all this identity politics stuff.  It’s yuppie snobs who are in Ivy League universities who are the biggest proponents of this kind of rhetoric.  The very people this woman is using to deride white people are the exact ones who are the first to come to her defense.

I have no allegiance to white people.  Hell, I don’t have an allegiance to the human race.  I’m a misanthrope.  I hate my species off-hand.  So I take people as they come.  If someone wants to mock white people, I say go for it!  Hell, I’ll join you.  I have made fun of hipsters with such gusto that my disdain for them has reached epic proportions.  I’ve made fun of rednecks.  I’ve made fun of yuppie Ivy League college students.  You want to make fun of white people?  Go right the fuck ahead.  I don’t get offended because it doesn’t mean a thing to me.  My race matters just as little to me as your race does.  I don’t give a fuck about your race either.  Fuck ethnic groups and their pet issues.  It’s beneath my attention to talk about.

So when this woman gets all butthurt about blackface, my thought is – why do you care?  I’m sure I’ll get someone who will come on here about how black people have been marginalized and shit.  Well, that was then.  Back then, blackface was an insulting thing to black people.  Nowadays, people don’t do it because it isn’t funny.  It’s not culturally acceptable.  The people in her video as example of blackface all seem to have something in common – they are young adults.  They are people in their early to mid 20’s.  The years when they are rebelling against societal norms and living on the edge.  It’s frat people and college punks looking to be offensive on purpose.  Gee, when you look at it like that, it’s almost like she is giving these people attention that they were already looking for.  Much like how Bill Maher wore a costume of Steve Irwin with a stingray barb in his chest shortly after he died.  Yeah, that was offensive, but it was done intentionally.  Getting mad about him about it just feeds into what he was looking for in the first place.

These people aren’t dressing up as you for Halloween, sweetie.  They are dressing provocatively, with the intent of getting reactions.  The fact that you let it affect you so strongly says more about you than it does about them.

And that’s it.  So, is the entire premise just some radio chick who uses the latest SJW talking points with black comedy interspersed among it?  Huh, maybe Madea will make a cameo.  Is this some big statement against white people?  No.  That’s stupid.  Would I ever watch it?  Nope.  I don’t go to Everyday Feminism because there’s only so much stupid I can handle.  Why would I watch a series personifying that kind of thinking?  And here’s the thing – this series will likely go the exact same route as that other SJW hill they had to die on.  It will be forgotten not long after it debuts.  So, with that in mind, let me give my Final Verdict.  For those who know how I rate things, it will make sense.

Final Verdict
5 out of 10

Peace out,


The Final Result of Ghostbusters Drama

After all of the stupid drama that was trumped-up from people who choose to take the people who said, “this looks really stupid” at the original trailer and elevating it to a full-on culture war, the film has finally been released.  And the verdict?  It’s okay.  It’s not good.  It’s not bad.  It’s just…okay.  It is a film that will be forgotten in a month or two.  Another boring reboot to put on the pile of boring reboots that nobody watched..  If only that were where it ended.  If only the drama hadn’t been what it became.  However, this film has turned into a place where feminism pop culture went to die.  It was a hill that they believe they held from the evil trolls who just hate women.  Instead, it was a hill that served no purpose for any larger military campaign, and they held it for nothing.  I still remember that article that said, “please let it be good.  Please just let it be passably good.”  If only that writer could see where we are now.

So, what can learn from all this?  What important lesson can we take away.  Here’s one – don’t market a film based on bad perception.  I am desperately hoping that Sony learned their lesson from this.  Turns out, the Anita Sarkeesian tactic of marketing doesn’t work for a film that you want to turn into a franchise.  Who knew?  Oh, right, everyone who has cultural perspective.  We know that the reality is that these people don’t actually want to watch these kinds of movies.  Just like the feminists who claim to want to make gaming more inclusive, and then we find out that they don’t actually play games.  Like when their hero and savior pimps a game that is a financial train-wreck, and it is still a financial train-wreck.  When a YouTuber with hundreds of thousands of subs recommends a game, you’d expect the sales of that game to increase.  I know for a fact that if Angry Joe or Total Biscuit told me about a game that was good, I’d look into it.  PewDIEPie doesn’t sing a game’s praises only for nothing to happen.

I learned about marketing.  It was my focus in college.  Public relations is an art.  When you are marketing a movie, you want the marketing to be positive.  You want to give people a good feeling about seeing the movie.  Since people already didn’t want to see the new Ghostbusters, Sony had their work cut out for them.  Instead, they decided that they were going to make it about the hate the film was receiving, and pretend that this was a good marketing strategy.  Except it wasn’t.  Because when you tell people, “go see this movie because people hate it!” that leads people to start asking questions.  Such as, “why do people hate it?” or “why should I see a movie that no one likes?”  There’s a lesson to take from Inception – positive emotions trump negative, every time.  Sony chose to make all the marketing about the negatives, and their shitty sales reflect this.

We can also learn that the press needs to stop virtue signaling for movies.  It has atom-bombed all sorts of things, and Hollywood needs to learn to reign these people in.  Though, maybe they don’t have to.  The Mary Sue is doing so poorly, financially, that they are asking people to subscribe and pay them $5 a month to read their click-bait crap.  Watch as that doesn’t work out for them.  Still, Hollywood needs to tell the SJW part of their tabloid news to cool off.  The entire industry is looking bad when you have films as mediocre as this become a hill for their “revolution” to die on.  Meanwhile, we have a movie coming out in August that has an amazing female character that everyone is stoked to see – Suicide Squad.  People haven’t been able to sing the new Harley Quinn’s praises enough.  She is clearly going to steal the show, along with Leto’s Joker.  Oh, but she is sexy, so feminists don’t like her.  Isn’t it ironic how these people are all for female empowerment, until she’s someone who isn’t ashamed of her body?  That’s interesting.

Oh, and there is also the fact that we need to accept that Paul Feig and his hatred of men needs to stay away from mainstream movies.  So many critics have, quite rightly, pointed out that this film’s negative view of men is more than a little distracting.  But I guess Feig wasn’t alone in this.  The main producer of this movie is also a man-hater who has made no secret of her disdain.  These two’s hatred culminated in a vision that made every single male character as ugly a stereotype as possible.  We also get to have Bill Murray get killed.  Because fuck the fans of him in the original film.  Though, from what I understand, he didn’t even want to be in this movie.  Sony had to put SO much pressure on him to show up.  Telling about how much he respected this production.  Can you blame him?

But the biggest thing we should take away is – stop making these stupid fucking reboots!  They suck!  They all suck!  Without exception!  They are all terrible!  The Red Dawn reboot?  Sucked.  The Conan the Barbarian reboot?  Sucked.  The Evil Dead reboot?  Sucked.  Not one of these films has been good.  It’s all crap, and it needs to stop.  This film is clearly doing so poorly that the chances that a sequel is going to be made are pretty much non-existent.  Good!  Let this end here.  It can only go downhill.

The truth is that this film would have been better served it it had been worse.  I know that sounds odd, but if this movie had been outright terrible, at least it would get a cult following for being so bad that it’s good.  Instead, this “girl power” movie will be forgotten because they got a mediocre director who has the biggest chip on his shoulder that I’ve ever seen to make a reboot that not one person asked for.  Not one.  They can blame all the trolls and “haters” until they’re blue in the face, but this isn’t on us.  It’s on you.  Congrats.  Your empowering movie sucked.  Take from this knowledge what you will.

Until next time, a quote,

“Are you happy now?!” – Joker, Batman: Arkham City

Peace out,


Your Beta is Showing (A response to Paul Feig)

With the new Ghostbusters having come out, it’s pretty clear that Paul Feig is not the best director.  I have had so many film critics that I follow praising this guy’s movies, which is baffling, to me.  His movies aren’t good.  They aren’t bad either.  They are part of this modern breed of mediocre comedies that are pretty much just people in a room, talking.  The visual comedy of movies in days gone by, and films by Edgar Wright (every work of his is a comedic masterpiece) is dead and gone.  I think back to the best comedy movies like Airplane, Blazing Saddles, and even Big Trouble.  The last in that list was made in 2002.  One of the most underrated comedies past the year 2000.  Proof that at least one American director can make a funny movie.  Those movies had so many visual gags, and they were great.  Now it’s just people in a room, talking, and we’re supposed to find everything the actors say funny.  One of the reasons visual comedy is so nice is because it gives the actors/actresses something to do.  Kate McKinnon is the only funny thing left on SNL (that show needed to die 20 years ago), and she’s at her best when she has something to do.

The point of that insane digression is that I think Paul Feig is not a good director.  He has a problem making funny movies, and part of that is due to his shortcomings as a person.  See, Feig is an insanely Beta male, and it’s showing.  There was a Hollywood Reporter video of him getting into a clown suit to make a funny.  It’s one of the cringiest things I’ve ever seen.  Listening to Feig talk about how awesome and wonderful and funny women are and how they are so much better than men just makes him look like a VERY well-paid Internet Beta who wants the rest of the women to like him.  Like if he is nice to them enough, they’ll get with him.  There was a time, and I am ashamed to admit it, but I was like that too.  I am not proud of it, but I grew up and moved on.  Feig has not.  To understand why, look no further than an article that Feig wrote for the Hollywood Reporter where he talks about how unfunny men are.  Set your cringe factor to Maximum, people.  It’s coming in dry.  Here’s a link to his article, now let’s do this.

Poor men. You hear them at the office, in restaurants, in bars, their brains filled with meaningless facts about sports, cars and electronics as they entertain friends with their endless jokes about genitalia and bathroom activities, not to mention their humorous accusations as to the sexual orientation of their conversation partners.

Who are these men?  Really, who are these men?  I have NEVER heard this.  Yeah, me and mine talk about games and stuff.  It’s our hobby.  We also talk about Game of Thrones, random books, whatever comes to our respective minds.  One of the things I love best about the people I can carry on long conversations with is the fact that I don’t know where the conversation will go.  There have been times that we started in one place, and I have no freakin’ clue how we ended where we did.  It be crazy!

And as for your accusation that all of us guys get a funny out of is genital and bathroom “activities,” even for Strawman Male, this makes no sense.  I guess there are plenty of shows with that kind of humor.  It’s low-brow, sure.  But more often than not, the joke is that the person is dumb and finds it funny. And his dumb friends find it funny.  Anytime one of the wives of these characters hears it, they just roll their eyes at their dim-witted husbands.  Oh, and we all apparently are just calling all guys gay too.  Hey, Paul, when I call someone like you a faggot, it isn’t a stab at your sexual orientation.  It’s a stab at what a little bitch you are.  Makes sense that you have such a tiny head.  You have thin skin, too.

They loudly amuse themselves by hurling insults and epithets — the words “dick,” “balls” and “ass” being the etymological anchors of their attacks — all for the express purpose of making one another laugh. They seem to be having such a great time that you’d feel like a monster alerting them to this one unfortunate fact: Men just aren’t funny.

I see this, and all I can think of is that Paul must have been one of the guys that was routinely picked on, growing up.  He must have been the kid who was bullied by all the big jock types, and it has led him to have the prevailing belief that all men are like that.  We’re all the same – overbearing, sports-obsessed, dude-bros who want to drink beers and smack titties.  Too bad that he hasn’t opened himself up to the reality that there are so many other types of guys.  Now he is stuck with this belief that all of us men, and it’s clear that he won’t change.  It doesn’t matter what he is exposed to.  He’ll just believe that it’s the random outlier in the vast chasm of males who are all the jocks who picked on him, growing up.

Oh, sure, there are men who truly make us laugh. None come to mind at the moment, but I know history has provided us with a few. Euripides was sort of a jokester. English poet John Donne got off a corker every once in a while. But in general, the male species’ sense of humor seldom rises above the enjoyment of watching one of their own take a swift shot to the testicles.

Oh, these are the funny males?  Gene Wilder?  You seen him?  Mel Brooks?  Heard of that guy?  Do you watch Edgar Wright’s movies with a big frown on your face the whole time?  If you can watch Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and not laugh, I honestly don’t think you’re human.  Or maybe you’ve heard of the greatest master of them all – George Carlin?  That name ring a bell, you putrid, pathetic excuse for a filmmaker?  I guess all of them are just not funny at all.  I’m starting to think that you are just butthurt that there are guys out there can make women laugh without having to metaphorically sodomize themselves for their pleasure.  You pretend that it’s all just toilet humor, but the reality is that it’s something that comes from people who are able to make people laugh without proselytizing themselves.

It makes sense. Men are genetically programmed to hunt and gather. It is they who must impregnate the herd and protect the collective. And so it’s only logical that their brains would need to possess lower humor standards in order to pass the hours entertainingly with their cohorts while stalking that night’s dinner or standing guard against the enemy. Imagine if they had to amuse their fellow warriors with jokes and banter that were actually funny.

Wow.  That’s both stupid and insulting.  Are you insinuating that us men are so stupid that we can’t find things funny?  Fuck you, you beta faggot.  Seriously, what is this standard that you hold humor to?  Give me an example, your pompous, pretentious little bitch.  Given what I’ve seen in some of your movies, maybe it’s a fat chick in a wedding dress dancing terribly.  Because no man could possibly come up with a scene like that.  You know, except when Elaine did it in Seinfeld over 20 years ago.  But that doesn’t count!  What an asshole.  “Men find things funny because men are stupid!”  Why don’t you just come out and say directly that you hate men?  At least then you’re being honest.  I honestly want to know what this standard is that you hold humor to.

Is modern society now ready to transition away from the Myth of Male Hilarity? After all, today’s world has erased most of the survival needs that once required a woman to inflate the comedic self-worth of the men around her.

Groj, this is so insulting.  It’s insulting to the men who have worked on their craft all their lives.  Who’ve gone to comedy clubs, gone to auditions for roles, and really worked on their stage presence and bits.  You are telling those people that they are delusional with this idea that their hard work was worth anything.  Hey Feig – fuck you, you Beta piece of shit.  While you have been making mediocre movies (at best), Mel Brooks had created some of the greatest comedies of all time.  I bet it must piss you off so much.  That people who are infinitely more talented than you could ever hope to be are called comedy legends, while your latest film couldn’t even earn the title of so-bad-it’s-good.  It couldn’t even earn the SJW title of “passably good.”  They died on that hill for a movie that they’ll forget about in a month.  You’re a hack, Feig.  That’s the best you can hope to be.  All the people who praise your work are just being nice.  I watch very nice film critics.  It’s probably a good thing to be nice.  Not me.  I will call you what you are – everything wrong with American comedy movies.

Alas, women’s evolved nature, along with their desire to avoid the dystopian nightmare of men trying even harder to be funny, causes them to withhold the soul-crushing revelation of masculine jocular inferiority. But many more women now also will continue to follow bravely in the footsteps of those pioneering females who elicited laughter before them, risking societal harmony in the name of making the world a more hilarious place.

“Ladies, how can I kiss your ass more?!  Please, I’ll say whatever you want!  Please, notice me!”  The irony is that this is insulting to the women who have worked hard too, in the years leading up to now.  I think back to Carol Burnett.  She was fucking hilarious, in this golden age where us MEN were just pushing the woman down.  It’s not like she became popular because she is good at her job.  Nope, it’s just because us men allowed it to happen.  Or Arleen Sorkin, who voiced Harley Quinn in Batman: The Animated Series.  That awesome delivery that was funny and emotionally hitting, when it needed to be.  The range of that character was great.  Guess she was just given a spot from us men too.  Julia-Louis Dreyfuss?  Given a place by men.  You have spit on everything they accomplished in your goal of prostrating yourself to any woman who will say nice things to you.  There’s a reason that women don’t find this sort of schtick impressive, Feig.  It’s because they find men like you pathetic.  As they should.  You’re the sort of man who, if you weren’t rich, would go right to the friendzone.  Hell, in that video I saw, it sounds like women still find him friendzone material.

So, hail to thee, funny women. Continue to remove the bushels from your bright and uproarious lights, and we in the know will laugh politely at the “funny men” as we wink to one another behind their desperate but well-meaning backs. It’s just the right thing to do.

If it was possible to think less of you, Feig, I would.  But it’s not.  You are the most pathetic little worm I’ve ever seen.  Everything you say is just a desperate plea for women to like you, along with your declaration of how much you don’t like other men.  I find you sickening, and your “talent” for making movies speaks for itself.  Nice film critics will find reasons to be nice to you, but not me.  You’re not bad enough to make bad to the point that it’s good movies.  You just make movies that are mediocre at best.  And from what I’ve heard from critics I like and from friends who actually gave the studio money by buying a ticket, you couldn’t even make Kate McKinnon funny.  Every review has said that Chris Hemsworth is the funniest thing in the movie.  All that talk about “girl power,” and that’s the legacy this movie leaves behind.  The man was the funniest thing in the movie.  I hope it burns, you Beta bitch.

Until next time, a quote,

“Have you ever noticed that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin

Peace out,


Angry Video Game Nerd, SJWs, and Ghostbusters

So, James Rolfe, who you would better know as the Angry Video Game Nerd, recently made a video on his Cinemassacre channel talking about the new Ghostbusters, and why he has zero intention of seeing it.  His reasons had nothing to do with the all-female cast.  He only cared that the jokes are cringe-worthy at best, and the film is a blatant cash-grab on the name.  Hell, he didn’t even discuss the fact that now this movie has become a rallying cry for people who are so desperate to throw their lot in behind this worthless remake of a timeless film that they say things like, “Please let it be good.  Please, just let it be passably good.”  That quote, by the way, is a sign about how much this film has become a rallying cry and how doomed the film is on arrival for that status.  After all, if it truly is such a pile of boredom that it appears to be, then this film’s culture war is a hill that people are dying on.

Now, Rolfe’s criticism of the film comes in the wake of how divisive this movie has become.  The director came out and said that the nerd culture is the biggest bunch of jerks he has ever seen.  Though, one of the stars of the film has said that she doesn’t like the trailer either.  A movie that should be seen as just a stupid remake that has NONE of the charm of the original is becoming a battleground issue.  In a time where every little thing that has a woman in it is a battleground issue.  From Star Wars: The Remake Awakens to the culture war that still goes on with video games, our SJW friends are making a lot of battles over something that should be simple.  It’s odd.

Now, Rolfe is in the firing line, and all over a video that I will share here, so you can judge for yourselves whether or not this is some nasty, hateful, sexist rant that the likes of Patton Oswalt made it out to be.

So, where all the vitriol?  Where was all the hate?  I was looking really hard for it.  Our Non-Angry Video Game Nerd was very calm, rational, and explained his position without appealing to emotion.  He just laid out his issues with the film, and stated that he is refusing to review or see this movie out of principle.  Any reasonable person would think that this means that he has stated his case and respects your intelligence enough to give it to you plainly.

What was the reaction by the people who are using this film as their hill to die on?  Let’s look at a Tweet by Patton Oswalt

I really wanted to hate this Cinemassacre GHOSBUSTERS review but I’m such a fan of noisy, thick-saliva swallowing that it won my heart.

Man, you really showed him, Patton.  Zing!  At least this guy has some kind of name recognition.  Then some dickmule that no one has ever heard of named Devon Feraci had his own thoughts on the matter.  This is the guy who said that gamers are ISIS, by the way.  Just putting that out there.

Look at this limp dick loser

How eloquent, Devon.  You should get with Devon Dudley, also known as AIU.  The two of you can think up zingers together.  Notice that neither one of those statements addressed ANYTHING that Rolfe had to say.  Of course not.  The day that an SJW attacks an argument that someone makes is the day that my cat grows wings, flies, and learns kung-fu to go fight in the Kumite.

A while back, my favorite YouTuber made a video about nuance and how it is dead, with SJWs pissing on its grave.  Look it up.  Type in “nuance sjws pissing” in the YouTube search bar and it should be the first thing that comes up.  He explains that one thing that SJWs are completely incapable of doing is making rational, reasonable arguments against people that they don’t agree with.  It goes immediately into emotional appeal and character assassination.  I guess we can add Patton Oswalt to that wonderful pedigree of indivijuals (situation).

This is why I fucking hate SJWs and why I can’t take third-wave feminism seriously!  These people are incapable of having a reasonable discussion.  These people are utterly unable to actually voice their opinion without snide condescension.  The thing that they accuse anti-SJWs like myself of, they are the perfect example.  What’s more, these people are defending a film that is indefensible!  That trailer was garbage!  Objectively, it was terrible.  Let’s cut out the SJW talking points and just look at what it is.  The jokes are cringe-worthy.  The characters are such cardboard cutouts that the fat character goes down the list of telling the audience who they are.  Oh, and the black chick is the stereotypical black chick who goes out of her way to stereotype herself.  The effects look worse than the ones in Jurassic World (that movie fucking sucks, by the way).  And to top it all off, they butt-raped the theme song by putting it in that stupid intro!  What about that looks good?  At all?!

I hate what discourse has become now.  It’s no longer people arguing about ideas.  It’s people who try and be reasonable getting shit thrown at them.  And I can already hear some random SJW who happens across this post.

But wait, that’s the same thing that happened to Anita Sarkeesian!  She made her points and got lots of hate!

Did things that are uncool get said to Anita?  Sure.  I won’t deny.  Internet trolls will troll.  It’s rude, it’s not nice, but that’s what it is.  But she also spent years feeding the trolls.  She fleeced people out of $158,000 for a Kickstarter, and four years later she still hasn’t finished or kept a single one of her Kickstarter backer rewards.  Oh, and get this – she has lied about her passion for video games and got pissy when the Internet busted her lying ass in black-and-white video!

Meanwhile, there were a TON of reasonable, well-researched and non-violent threats laden videos talking about her videos where people don’t threaten her once and put her stupidity in respect to video games in its place.  Do send me a link to an SJW who doesn’t one time make this into some “you’re a sexist!” refutation of what Rolfe said in his video.  I’m all ears.

Internet discourse has just become SJWs flinging as much shit at people as they can.  And when those people come back at them, screaming “I’m a victim!” as loud as they possibly can.  The Internet has a term for these people – crybullies.  The thing that kills me most, it is working.  The media takes these people seriously.  Mostly for clicks, naturally.  But I wouldn’t be surprised if SJW rags like The Young Turks decide to tear into Rolfe.  I am pretty sure they already did a video decrying all the people who don’t like the new Ghostbusters trailer as sexist.

What’s more, I bet you a fucking pretty penny that when this movie does come out, all sorts of reviews are going to be piling on praise for it, just so they don’t have to have the SJWs coming down on them for being sexist.  Because if a movie can’t be good, scare people into saying it is.  Crybullying at its best, people.

Where does it end?  That’s the real question.

Until next time, a quote,

“This blind defense has made me hate this film more than I ever could have.”  -Chris Ray Gun

Peace out,


Critical Examination: “Empowering” Female Characters

I’m sure by now you all have seen the preview for the new Ghosbusters film.  I did a First Take of if on my site, and you can look that up at your leisure.  Needless to say, I didn’t like it.  Everything was wrong with that trailer.  The CG ghosts in that film looked as bad as the ones in The Haunted Mansion.  Hell, they looked almost as bad as the ghosts in the god-awful remake of The Haunting.  Oh yeah, I went there.  The “jokes” were so bad that I barely cracked a smile throughout the whole thing.  But the biggest thing that bothered me about the trailer – the characters.

Let me make something abundantly clear – I have no problem with the cast being female.  I was hoping that a new Ghostbusters film would have been an honest sequel (because I am sick and tired of these shitty reboots), but whatever.  I would have been fine with it, on one condition – they were good characters.  And that isn’t what we got here.  Here, we got characters who are such cardboard cutouts that the fat chick actually goes through the list to tell you what those cutouts are.  There is the awkward math chick.  You have the awkward mechanic chick.  You have the awkward…fat chick.  Oh, and then they introduce a character who expositions her role – the street-wise black chick.  That’s it.  Not one of these characters is shown to be anything but a single note.

For those who want to say that Ernie Hudson was a black stereotype – you’re wrong.  His role in that film was the most unstereotypical role in that film, because he was meant to be the everyman.  His character was meant to be a stand-in for the audience, reacting to what three clearly-insane characters are getting up to.  That was awesome!  And his reactions to stuff were priceless.  Like the bit about the Twinkie.

I fucking die, every time.  It’s a great line.  But the black chick in this film is the most blatant stereotype I have seen in years.  I hate to agree with the SJWs, but come on!  The worst thing is, people are talking about this new film as if it is a “girl power” movie.  This thought baffles me.  Why?  Because who can see this movie like that?  How are these women empowered?  I think back to some of my favorite female characters, and I think to myself – are they empowered?  Sometimes, no.  Sometimes, their weakness is a character attribute, and that doesn’t always have to be negative.  Sometimes some personal weakness can make a good character.  But what about the ones that I do see as empowered?  What about them fits that category?  Well, let’s take a look at some of my favorite female characters and talk about it.

Ellen Ripley

To be clear, we’re talking about her in the original film, Alien.  While her role in the sequel was awesome, I thought her character in the original film was better.  Let me explain.  She is a member of a crew of over-worked, underpaid deep-space truckers.  She is the second-in-command of her ship, and it’s clear that the crew doesn’t have a lot of respect for her.  But she still takes her job seriously.

When the crew goes off to the alien ship and comes back with one of the team infected with an alien parasite, she has to make a judgment call about whether or not to let them back on the ship.  She chooses not to.  She chooses not to risk the lives of the rest of the crew by letting the parasite back on-board.  The crew is REALLY pissed at her about that, but she stood by her decision.  She takes a lot of shit for it, but the fact is – she was right.  If the robot hadn’t opened the airlock and let them in, then none of what happened in the film would have happened.  Sure, everyone in there would have died, but they could have just spaced them and the xenomorph and everything would have turned out fine.  Her choice was the correct one, but things didn’t work out as she had hoped.

Next, things keep going from bad to worse.  As more and more of the crew is dying, Ripley is having to make hard choices.  The captain dies, and she gets the answer to why they went to the planet.  It turns out, her and her crew was viewed as expendable.  They were to get the xenomorph and bring it back for study.  When the robot turns on her, and all looks lost, she gets saved.  Now realizing that she is facing something that she is almost completely-incapable of stopping, she now is in the position to make the call.  So her and what’s left of the crew decide to abandon ship and blow it up.

Just as it looks to be resolving, the last of her crew is killed.  Now, Ellen is alone.  She is all alone, inside a ship that is set to explode, with only minutes to spare.  Here, we see her at the most desperate she has ever been.  All she can do is run.  But as she is trying to escape, she finds something out – her cat is still out there.  The last thing she has left, and she has to make a call.  Does she leave and let the cat be destroyed with the ship.  Doing so would likely have had the ending play out differently.  Or does she risk it all and go back and save the only companion she has left.  She chooses to go back for her friend.

The two escape just in time.  It’s all over.  Everything seems to be wrapping up, when she realizes something – they aren’t alone in the shuttle.  The xenomorph is in there.  It’s all or nothing now.  Only one of them can survive.  So, in a last-ditch effort, she puts on a space-suit, opens the airlock, and blasts the creature out with a harpoon.  Thus ends the film.

Let’s look at another of my favorite female characters.

Captain Katherine Janeway

Captain Janeway is a commander of a starship.  Her ship is halfway across the galaxy and the trip home could end up taking more than her own lifetime.  She makes the choice to do this based on the fact that (and I have remarked that this is a plothole in the series, since it would have been easy to avoid) by using the Array to get home, she would have condemned another species to die.  Destroying it means that her crew is stranded, and has to make some hard decisions.

Janeway is a very solitary character.  Over the course of the series, there are many instances where her loneliness is confronted.  It is often in ways that show that she isn’t dealing with it particularly well.  She can’t have any relationships.  As the captain of her ship, any relationship she would have would be with a subordinate.  It would be a conflict of interest.  When she is falling for a hologram, her and the Doctor have a very frank discussion on just how unpleasant her situation is, and the end of that episode has her indulging in a fantasy in order to keep her emotional health stable.

In addition, she is also a character who is stubborn and can think on her feet.  This comes back in interesting ways when she meets Seven of Nine and frees her from the Borg Collective.  Her attempts to turn this person human end up with her trying to mold Seven into someone like her.  But that often backfires on her when Seven is shown to be very much her own person, and often being very critical of Janeway and her view on things.  But she does take cues from the fact that Janeway is willing to do almost anything to save the members of her crew, and doesn’t accept failure from herself, as much as anyone else.  When she gets pissed, everyone knows that Janeway is going to stir up some fucking dust!  My favorite moments with her are the ones where she is totally unafraid to go to insane extremes due to her own anger or annoyance.

Beatrix Kiddo (The Bride)

When we first meet Kiddo, it is at her own wedding.  Having finally escaped a life of being an assassin, she is hoping to settle down and start over with someone she loves.  But, she realizes that it isn’t so easy as to leave the assassin lifestyle.  Her former comrades end up coming in and shooting up the place.  They beat the shit out of her and then her former leader (and also the father of her child) shoots her in the face.  You’d think that would be the end of it, but it’s not.

Months later, she comes back from a coma, and there is one singular purpose in the back of her mind – kill Bill, along with all her former comrades.  After dragging herself out of the hospital, and getting free, she makes a list.  It’s a list of all the people that she has to kill.  Each one has left and found their own life as well.  As she goes down the list of killing her targets, you see that not only is she destroying the lives of everyone connected to her ultimate target, but there are times when she is ruining their family’s lives.  Vernita Green, for example.  After killing her, she looks up to see her daughter standing there.  It’s a moment where she has to realize that by doing this, she is perpetuating a cycle that can’t be stopped.  She tells the girl that once she is older, if she still wants revenge, Kiddo will be waiting.

In her quest for vengeance, we see the kind of person that she both was and who she has become.  While I wasn’t satisfied with the way the second film ended, it does show that Kiddo was a different person from when she started.  All the carnage that she laid at Bill’s feet, and then taking Bill’s life, it was something that she had to accept and move past.


Did you notice something about all the characters that I described?  Did you notice that I didn’t have to talk about how empowered they are?  There’s a reason.  Truly empowered characters don’t need a bunch of women on a stairwell holding up a sign that says “Girl Power.”  A truly empowered character is a character first.  Their empowerment comes from what they do with the situations and the choices they are given.  What’s more, sometimes they make mistakes.  Sometimes they screw up.  All three of the characters I described made mistakes.  Sometimes really bad ones.  Like how Janeway could have just transported a torpedo over to the Array and rode it home first.  Or fired a torpedo with a timer on it to give them time to get home.  Still, my over-analyzing aside, these characters don’t need me to tell you how empowered they are.  They just are.

What this film and it’s SJW defenders don’t realize is that saying something is “girl power” doesn’t make it so.  You need a character first.  Someone who is fun to watch.  Someone that we grow to like.  We need to care about their struggles, because we come to know them.  I don’t see that in this film.  All I see is a bunch of cutouts, being given lines that are meant to sound empowering.  In the process, all the soul that this film might have been able to have is stripped away.  But please, tell me again how sexist I am because I don’t like this film.  Tell me about how I have a problem with women.  Go right ahead.

Until next time, a quote,

“Strong women don’t play victim, don’t make themselves look pitiful, and don’t point fingers.  They stand and deal.”  -Mandy Hale

Peace out,


Lucien’s First Take: GHOSTBUSTERS – Official Trailer

I remember hearing about this film being made a long time ago.  Back then, my former friend Peter said that he thought that this film was going to be great!  I wasn’t so certain.  But they have finally released a trailer.  Let’s all go into this with open minds and see if what is what is in this film.  I got a bad feeling about this…

Oh dear Groj.  This is…this is fucking awful.  Let’s take this trailer apart bit by bit and show just how bad this is.

We start out with a statement that 30 years ago, the Ghostbusters saved New York.  So, is this a sequel?  I ask that because what follow confuses me.  They say that now a new team is going to “answer the call.”  And who is that new team?  Why three derpy-derpys!  That’s what!  They have this one funny scene where this chick tries to get close to a ghost and it spews ecto-plasm all over her.  But then it makes a chick joke.  I think I’ve found this movie’s formula.  This isn’t good.

What did they do to the Ghosbusters theme?!  Why did you decide to make it sound like this?  And why is it broken up within the rest of this trailer?!  It plays during this montage of these characters who aren’t remotely interesting.  You gotta give the original film (not the sequel.  That movie sucked) some credit.  Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, Harold Ramis, and Ernie Hudson are DAMN charismatic.  Here, we got derpy-derp stereotypes!  Hell, this movie goes out of its way to say what those stereotypes are!  We got the particle engineer.  We got the academic physics person.  The…fat person?  Oh, and the sassy black chick!  I’m so glad that this movie is going out of its way to make characters who we don’t have to get to know on a personal level.  That would take all the fun out of actually having to like them.  Give the original film some credit.  The characters might have been cliches of their respective roles, but their ability to be funny and play off each other made it work.  And the “jokes” in this trailer are fucking painful.

I have to ask – what were they thinking?  People wanted an actual sequel to Ghostbusters!  Sure, Harold Ramis is dead, but the rest of the crew damn sure isn’t!  What is this?!  This is a reboot.  That’s what it is.  And it’s being done just as bluntly and stupidly as all the rest.  I guess this is a “female power” Ghostbusters movie?  O…kay.

When you add the REALLY bad special-effects, there is nothing in this trailer that compels me to like it.  Nothing at all.  They don’t even have some bullshit cameo from Bill Murray, who said that this film is totally approved by him.  Well, the Evil Dead remake was approved by Bruce Campbell, and it sucked.  This one is looking to follow in its footsteps.  There are no other words I can say.  This is the dumbest thing I’ve seen in a long time.

Initial Verdict
3 out of 10

Peace out,