Lucien Drinks: Strawberry Pina Colada

In addition to making food things, I also do drink stuff.  My favorite is mix drinks.  I am awesome at it.  I have yet to find anything that I’ve ever put my mind to that I’m bad.  For real, nothing that I have ever wanted to do have I been inclined to suck at.  For whatever reason, I am naturally a man of a ton of talents.  And nowhere is that more apparent than tonight.  Did I use precise measurements to get this perfectly done!  Fuck no!  I honestly never have on virtually everything I’ve ever made.  I honestly don’t get how people can nitpick culinary creations that way.  For me, I do my best to stay within limits and come hell or high water.  In this case, it worked wonders.  Let me show you the results.

I have tied in the posts about Lucien Cooks with stories about how I came to what I made and what it evoked in me, emotionally.  I thought I would do the same here, because there are real memories that came floating to the surface when I took a drink of this absolutely splendid concoction.

It’s funny, my cousin left his blender at my old place when he moved out.  It’s been collecting dust in my pantry for a while.  But when I saw some pina colada materials at the store the other night, and it’s strawberry season, I decided that I was going to get me some and put it to good use!  What a wonderful decision.  This is so damn good.  Each drink takes me back to a time in my life when I was so much younger.  A time when I could remember life being different.  Better.  I miss those days.  Seems like 1000 years ago.  More than one lifetime.  Technically, it was.  I miss the person from those days.

Back when I really young, before my head injury, my family and I went to Hawaii.  It was an awesome trip.  So much fun.  We went to the macadamia nut farm and got to try some truly amazing creations with that.  There was this old dude with this song he would sing about fresh coconut.  I wish I could remember how that song went, but memories before my head injury are mud.  I just remember the outdoor market he was in.  All the fresh fruit and wares people made.  It was a truly spectacular place.  All the time my family and I spent swimming and snorkeling.  Grabbing on to sea turtles (which is totally illegal.  We broke the law and got away with it!), and my sister absolutely losing her shit when the fish came up around her.  That was the funniest thing ever.  Oh, and my mother attempting to kill me at a beach with waves that were more than a little insane.  No joke, I had swam out and was going to make it over a massive one that was cresting, then feel this hand grab my foot.  Scared the fuck out of me.  Crazy old woman.

One thing that I remember from that trip that truly stands out was the strawberry pina coladas.  We had them all the time.  They were so good.  My sister and I were too young for booze, but in the concoction I made tonight no such issue.  Coconut rum goes amazingly with this.  So damn tasty.  I love how good a cook I am.  But my mind goes back to the memories of Hawaii, thinking of listening to the waves, the hot, humid air, the tasty drinks, driving around on a road that was a sheer cliff on one side.  All the good memories in that place, from back when the family and I were a lot happier.  From a life before my brain was busted.

I used fresh strawberries in this drink.  Best kind.  I didn’t want to use frozen stuff if I could help it.  In this case, I was able to live up to that mandate.  Used fresh ingredients too, no mixes.  So good.  The food and drinks that bring back memories, from a time when life was simpler and I didn’t have to be afraid of the future all the goddamn time.  How I wish I could go back, and savor it for all the time that I can.  Listening to music and being with friends I miss so much.  A girl I loved and will always love more than anyone, and a friend who was the brother I never had.

What are the things that you eat or drink that bring back memories for you?  Let me know in the comments.

Until next time, a quote,

“We didn’t realize we were making memories.  We just knew we were having fun.” – Anonymous

Peace out,



Lucien Cooks: Beef Stew

I’ve been kinda bored of the typical things that I have been posting on for so long.  Talking about SJW bullshit is boring.  I still enjoy doing reviews on this site, and that isn’t going anywhere.  And I’m sure I’ll find stupid SJW nonsense to talk about.  However, there is currently a beautiful woman staying with me.  She is a dear friend, and having company in my guest room at my new apartment is a fantastic thing.  But more than that, I now have someone living with me who is compelling me to put my cooking talents to work.  See, I love to cook.  I love it so much.  I am so fucking good at it.  No joke, I keep impressing myself to trying out things that are ridiculously complicated just so I can push the limits of my skills.

So when I got my new crockpot, my girlfriend told me that I should make beef stew.  I love beef stew.  Like, a lot.  Now that I am on my own, I get to have the ingredients that I want to have in it.  Can’t wait to do that for beef stroganoff and nix the mushrooms.  Seriously, mum, why do you insist on putting those in there?!  Mushrooms are so gross.  But I digress.  I looked up a simple recipe, and got to work this morning chopping up the ingredients and putting them in.

Now, for these posts, I won’t be giving you an ingredient breakdown for the recipe.  After all, I got all this shit from the Internet.  It’s easy to find.  Instead, this is going to be me basically posting it and talking about what I did specifically in making the dish that digresses from the recipe.  The thing is, I’m not great at following recipes.  I basically get the gist of them down, then almost-immediately start experimenting when I do it my way.  After all, so much of recipes is tedious and unnecessary.  Like, I don’t blend things after adding each individual egg.  That’s stupid.  So these posts is going to show you my creations, and talk about the experience of making it.  If that sounds boring to you, feel free to peace out now.  With that said, let’s show you the results of my beef stew!

Oh yeah!  This turned out so well!  Better than I could have ever anticipated!  The first comment I got on this when I posted it on Facebook is that I need a fork and knife for this stew.  And yeah, it is pretty chunky.  You know what, that’s fine by me!  I cut up my potatoes a little larger than was necessary, won’t lie.  See, I’m a giant.  So tiny cutting on food is a totally alien concept to me.  Being right under the cusp of seven feet tall, it takes a lot to feed me.  Especially since I stay active.  Now I have enough to feed me for at least a few days!  Hell yeah!

Let’s talk about where I deviated from the recipe.  First off, I nixed the celery.  Neat fact – I don’t like celery.  Like, at all.  It’s stringy and tastes bad.  That’s my honest-to-Groj thoughts on the stuff.  It’s gross.  And since this is my stew, I can put in whatever I want!  Loving that. Also, did you know that you can buy carrots pre-cut!  That’s awesome!  I can be lazy and it totally works!  Lazy culture may bug me sometimes, but getting to save 10 minutes chopping up carrots goes a long way.  They cut them like Ruffles, but whatever.  Tastes good to me.

Also, I guess I was supposed to cover the meat in flour.  I didn’t do that.  I just threw the flour in there on top of everything.  There are days where I wonder if my stupid-ass decisions with making food where I totally forget steps or just do things wrong don’t end up in most of my food sucking.  For whatever reason, it works out.  Life is strange like that.

I put the crock pot on high for about 5 hours or so.  I honestly wasn’t keeping that diligent of track.  The whole idea is that this is a recipe that I’ll be able to make in the future and just leave in the crock pot on low when I go to work in the morning.  The idea of coming home to food just tickles me pink.

Thought about this, but I am going to rate my own creations.  In the future, when I have more people around eating stuff I make, I’ll add their verdicts here as well.  My girly-mate is out at the moment.  This was a fun recipe.  And I want to hear about how your cooking projects have turned out as well.

Final Verdict
8 out of 10

Peace out,