The Adventures of Azure and Creamsicle: The Glittering Dream

It was a late night.  The moon hung in the sky.  Midnight and I had met up and had some more of our bounty from earlier, and now I was content to go back and get some rest.  Perhaps tonight I would rest on the big bed in the sleeping room.  That usually got me some affection in the morning from my human and the Michael human.  I could get behind that.  In any case, I arrive and find that the underwear drawer is open.  This is good, because that is the most comfortable place in the house.  I slide in and lay down, shifting a little to settle the contents of the drawer and make the bed more soft.  It works, and I feel myself quickly falling in to slumber.

My eyes open and I am in a large room.  It is so very large.  The walls of the room seem like a world away, as does the ceiling.  How such a massive room could exist is beyond me.  There is light pouring through the windows.  I look over and see that the windows are all colors.  It is a strange menagerie of beautiful dazzling lights.  My paws move without my will and I am almost dancing in the dappled colors all over the floor.  It’s amazing!  How could so much beauty be in one place?!  The feelings of joy inside me swell up as I am rolling in the various lights that paint the entire room.  That is when I notice that there is a shimmer coming from above.  In fact, there is a lot of shimmer.  It’s moving too!  Almost like the notorious red dot that I have been at war with.  I once caught the dot for a full minute under my paws.  However, the moment I move them, it vanishes.  That dot will yield to me, but this was more interesting.  The dot was but one light.  This was many.  Infinite, in fact.  It seemed like the lights went on forever.  I looked up at their source and saw dozens upon dozens of tiny crystals hanging from the ceiling.  It is almost too beautiful for words.  What is this glorious and magical place?
It is then that I perceive a door far away.  It is hanging open, with more light coming from a passage outside.  It is tempting, but leaving this room of color seems like too much of a problem.  It is then that I see a kitten.  It is very small, with orange fur that has white stripes in it.  The kitten looks up at me with a big smile on its face.
“Hey, wanna play?!” it asks.
I’m confused.  “What do you mean?  Play what?”
It just runs around.  “I don’t know, just play!  Wanna?!”
The little kitten is annoying.  I am not a fan of it, but it clearly knows more about this place than I do.
“Say, do you know what is outside of this room?”
It nods vigorously.  “Oh yeah, I know everything about this place!  Wanna see?”
That gets my attention.  “Yes, I would very much like to see.”
The kitten takes off and I chase after it.  It goes out the door and I am almost blinded as I exit.  The door leads to a large bridge.  The bridge runs above what appears to be a forest.  The forest is filled with trees of all kinds, and I can hear water running and birds chirping.  It’s a very exciting feeling, which leaves me wanting to see more.  This bridge was not the only one, either.  There were other bridges on either side of me that each led to a different room.  How big was this place, anyway?  It was a strange sensation as I followed my young companion.
The door ends at another room.  I got inside and this room is stranger than the last!  There are giant fuzzy creatures that neither move or speak.  They are like the toys I have at the house, but larger.  Much, much larger.  The are other cats playing with them!  What are these creatures!  They seem to be most happy, so I simply write it off that they enjoy our company.  What a pleasant thing.  It seems that humans are not the only ones who have a great deal of affinity for my people.  That was worth knowing.  The kitten motions for me to follow, and I do.  I am getting more and more excited about what I’ll see next.

We cross another bridge and get to a room that has so many smells!  For real, it’s like my nose is bombarded with scent.  The one that sticks out the most to me is…catnip!  Oh my god, that smell is just awesome!  There are cats in a corner at a hookah, breathing out smoking catnip.  I walk over and sit on my paws.
“Take a seat, brother!  All are welcome at the table of the cat!”|
I sat down and took one of the pipes.  I put it in my mouth and smoked.  It was such a strange feeling, the smoke leaving my mouth.  I felt so good.  The catnip was amazing!  The finest I had ever seen.  There was a woman-human not far from my human who would grow it in her garden.  We did so love that woman.  Stealing some of her prize was a common activity among Midnight and myself.
After I get done, the kitten is waiting for me at the door.  The world is spinning now, and I am so excited to see what is next!  We run across another bridge (this was seriously making me wonder if this place wasn’t a labyrinth, as I was noticing bridges that go between buildings, and there was a steady amount of forest below.  Speaking of, I finally saw the creek I was hearing.  It ran between the forested sections of the building.  There were some cats that were catching fish there.  I had no fear of water, but to just go out there like that!  Madness!  Though the fish did look nice.
The next room opened up and we went inside.  This room was nuts!  It was like a giant arena!  Inside the arena, there was a battle going on between a couple of cats and a beagle.  I recognized that beagle!  It was the one that the neighbors owned!  This caught my attention and had to be studied.  What was it doing here?!  Was it getting fame and glory?  Some kind of treats?  The reality of the contest eluded me, but it was very fierce.  The kitten did not seem to want to stay here.  I was with it.  We left as quickly as we had come.  I couldn’t help but notice that at the top of the arena sat a cat and an entourage who looked like the some kind of royalty.  Best to stay clear of that one.  Me and authority from other cats don’t get along.

The last room was a massive one!  It went up so far that I couldn’t see the top!  The kitten looked excited to be here.  I had a distinct impression that this room was in the middle of the elaborate positioning of the rooms.  The door closed behind us and the place immediately had sunlight streaming in.  These windows were not colorful like the first room.  They had designs.  There were also some kinds of elaborate representations of powerful-looking cats, like the one I had seen in the arena.
“Come one!  Hurry-hurry-hurry!  It’s just up ahead!”
I looked at the bounding kitten and was confused.  “What is?”
It winked at me.  “You’ll see!”  We ran down several hallways and came to a giant staircase.  It looked to go up for eternity.  I looked at the kitten and said, “You really want us to climb up that?”
It smiled and shook its head.  “Nope!  Just wait on this step!”  The kitten went and hit a button beside the wall.  Suddenly, all but a few of the stairs melted away and we started heading for the top of the room!  It was scary, kind of terrifying, but exhilarating at the same time.  We finally get to the top and I feel like I’ve been on some kind of crazy car ride!  It was fun.  We step off and see that there is a window near us.  I can already tell it’s very high up.  We walk to the edge and look out.  I was right!  The place we were in was massive!  A labyrinth of huge rooms that went as far as the eye could see!  So did the forest too.  It was almost unreal.
“What is this place?!” I asked the kitten.
“Where all of us go, in time.”
“What do you mean?”
It shook its head.  “Not now.  But later.  Now, you get to go back to that other place.  I’ll see you soon!”
There was so much confusion.  “What do you mean?!”  Just then, a massive eagle appeared!  It was coming towards the window.  I took off as fast as my legs would carry me.  It crashed through and charged toward us.  I felt so scared.  Faster and faster, yet my legs felt they couldn’t go any faster.  It was so terrifying!  I felt a claw on my back, then it all went black.

“Awww, what do you suppose he was dreaming about?”
“Probably chasing something in his sleep.”
I feel a hand scratching behind my ears.  I see my human and purr.  If only she knew.

Until next time, a quote,

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”  -Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (For those who know the history of the first one)

Peace out,



The Adventures of Azure and Creamsicle: The Unconquerable Heights

I wake in the underwear drawer of the female human I live with.  She sometimes leaves it open on accident, which I take full advantage of.  She often dislikes this, as it seems that having my hair all over her underwear is a negative thing.  However, this means nothing.  It is soft here, and it is my spot.  They call me “Azure,” in reference to the bluish-gray striped coat I have.  And interesting way to be named, but whatever.  As I have entered my 38th season of life, and I can clearly tell that I am going to have to awaken the humans in order to get myself food, I have been feeling a little bit reflective.

I came into possession of this human after she exited something that I have heard referred to as “college.”  Not sure what one does there, but it doesn’t matter.  Originally, it was just the two of us at a small apartment.  Things were different then.  I was much smaller and much less resourceful.  I had no mentor to teach me the ways of the world, so I had to learn on my own.  There were many things that I got wrong.  Those days were…harder than most.  But the human was much more affectionate.  The two of us would sit while she would have her lap-filling device out.  I was not a fan of this device.  I would continually try and get on top of it, so she would have better access to petting me.  However, she would continually move me.  However, we came to a compromise after she started petting me when I sat next to the device.  While it wasn’t as nice as other pettings, it was still nice all the same.
Those were good days, just the two of us.  Then, however, another human named Derrick entered the picture.  I did not like this human.  He took up a great deal of her time and did not pet me as much.  Indeed, this human seemed to sneeze around me.  Things between that human and my human got very heated.  Eventually, the male human demanded that it was either him or me.  The nerve!  It was then that my human did something I’ll always remember – she chose me.  It was a very good day.  I was most kind to her after that.  I even wouldn’t mind when she was in the bathroom alone or would have the lap-device out.
But then, another human came into the picture.  His name was Michael.  This Michael was much less annoyed by my presence.  Indeed, he tried his best to befriend me.  I had seen how the Derrick human had treated my human.  I wasn’t going to let this one do the same!  As loudly as I could, I would lodge my protest whenever was possible.  When they would be on the bed, wiggling around in what I assume to be some kind of mating dance, I would sing the songs of my people, to keep her from making a mistake.  After a while, she was much less pleasant, even picking me up and taking me out of the room.  I was very cold to her after that.  Fine!  If she wanted to get hurt by another male human, let her!  I would stay in the living room and rest on the top of the couch.  Indeed, the humans seemed to take notice of how little interest I seemed to have in them, yet this didn’t seem to be a negative reaction.  As a matter of fact, they seemed grateful!  The nerve!
One day, a lot of things changed.  The two humans were together the entire time.  The Michael human moved in to the apartment!  They talked of moving, which hurt me quite a bit.  Were they leaving me here?!  Had they forgotten about me?!  Did I go too far in my attempt to punish them for casting me out of the sleeping room?  How I pushed it too much?  The questions were adding up, and then it all became clear.  My human and the other human were packing up all the belongings we had.  Part of me was quite worried that they would take the litterbox, or the sleeping chair, or the sleeping bed, or the bigger sleeping bed that the human would sometimes us.  Or the bowl where our food is.  However, just as I was about to break down, my human picked me up and threw me into a cage!  It was every nightmare I’ve ever had.  Trapped, it was dark and I was unable to escape.  I did everything I could, but nothing worked.  I sung the songs of my people as loud as I could, in hopes that some part of the humans soul would recognize the pain.  However, as quickly as their torment began, it ended.
Indeed, the humans set the cage down in a bright space and opened the door!  I was free!  As fast as my legs would carry me, I raced out of the cage and into the light.  This space was much larger than the apartment.  Indeed, it was so large that I didn’t quite know what to do with it.  They moved the belongings from the apartment and set them in various places here.  I was informed by my human that this was where we would be living from now on.  I suppose I could warm up to it.  This was a much larger space.  There was even a small doorway in the larger one that I could go out through!  The outside!  It was amazing.  Green things and warm sunlight that I could curl up in.  There was a fence around the place, but I was content.  For now…

The seasons went by, and I became the master of a new territory.  As my curiosity was insatiable, I found weaknesses in the fence and was able to escape the boundaries of my new home.  At first, I never went too far.  Always within eyesight.  But I met a new cat, and things changed.  Her name was Midnight.  She was all-black and very beautiful.  I was in awe.  It was like she was made in the night, with her yellow eyes that almost seemed to glow.  She was like no one I had ever met.  The two of us would go out into the neighborhood and explore.  My companion had a gift at exploration.  She always seemed to be able to find her way home.  I learned much from her.  We became bonded together.  Perhaps in the way that the humans at the house were.  Midnight and I explored everything, and the neighborhood became ours.
We made friends with other cats as well.  A little gang who were the owners of the night.  But we still had to be careful.  There were dogs in this neighborhood.  While they could not escape the fences of their homes the way we could, there were some who had no owners, and would wander the streets.  It became a very dangerous place sometimes.  We learned their patterns and how to avoid them.  It became just another simple problem to be dealt with in due time.  Still, risky stuff.

And that is where we were now.  We roll in our human’s underwear and yawn.  Since the lack of food in our stomach is now something of an issue, we decided to get up and alert the human as to our predicament.  We get up on the bed and walk over to where our human is laying on her stomach.  Not being subtle, I sit down in front of her face and rub her nose with my own.  It is the way that we both show affection and request attention.  Normally, this works.  This morning was no exception.  She awoke with a mumbling noise that betrayed some kind of annoyance.  She opens her eyes and lets out a loud frightened sound, which makes my flight-or-fight instinct kick into high gear and we go running from the bed.  The Michael human has been awoken as well, most worried.  The two humans start laughing about the situation as they rise from the larger bed.
Our human goes to the kitchen and grabs our bowl.  She puts some of the dry food into it.  This is not what we’d like, but we know that we will have to chance to get more soon.  After all, the probability is high that there will be bacon.  Our human regularly makes bacon when the Michael human does not leave early in the morning.
As our human reached up to the top of the while obelisk that they get their food from (how that works is beyond me), I saw something that genuinely changed my life – the “treats!”  These tasty morsels are sometimes given to me as a signifier of when I have done something that meets the approval of the humans.  I have yet to figure out a pattern to this.  There seems to be none.  However, I now have seen the container where they are kept!  This presents an opportunity.  However, this opportunity is risky.  After all, they are directly on top of the white obelisk.  How will I get up there?  As this concept was measured out in our head, I realized something – I would need Midnight for this.  It was a job that required more than one superior brain.  Part of me wondered how the humans were so clever as to set the treats up there.

Night came and I met up with Midnight on the steps to the house, looking excited.
“What’s got you all worked up?” she asked.
“I’ve found us an adventure!”
Her attention got perked.  “Ooo, what is it?!”
“Remember those tasty morsels that the humans fed us the other day?  The ones shaped like fish?”
Her brow furrowed as she thought, then brightened.  “Oh yeah!  Those were good.  But you said that you didn’t know where the humans kept them.”
My smile grew.  “I didn’t, until now!”
Instantly she got excited.  “Ooo, where?!”
“On top of the white obelisk in the eating room.  It is very high, so I will need your help in procuring it.  That’s what we’re going to be doing tonight!”
A worried look came to Midnight’s face.  “Won’t that be risky?  What if the humans discover us?  They’ll be mad.”
I gave her a wink.  “Oh come on, Midnight!  With your grace and our combined ingenuity, we can take this on!”
She smiled again, ready for mischief.  “Oh, alright.  Lead the way!”

We bounded back toward the eating room.  It was much quieter in the darkened halls.  For humans, the darkness is something to be nervous about.  For my kind, it is freedom.  We got to the white obelisk and looked up.
Midnight was in awe.  “Wow!  That’s really far!  How are we going to get up there?!”
I motioned toward the tops of the counters that were beside the obelisk.  We jumped up and moved over by the obelisk.  It wasn’t as far now.  But still too far to jump, and we couldn’t risk clawing our way up.  If we fail, either of us could fall to our doom on the floor.  Or, the clawing noise could awaken the humans.  We had to find a way up that didn’t involve getting injured or making excessive noise.  Easier said than done.  We looked around, trying to see what methods we had available to reach the top of the obelisk.  The pickings were sparse.  There was a tied bread product in a corner, along with the covered butter dish and some other bread products.  There was a mixer, but it was sleek and tall.  It was unlikely we could have gotten a grip on it.  There were a trio of things that looked like large covered pots.  Each of them was labeled with something in the human language.  I couldn’t tell.  They were in varying sizes from tallest to shorted.  The tallest one look pretty sizable.  A pity that it was so far away from the obelisk, or I could use it to…
“Look there!” I shouted.  Midnight ran over, looking excited.
“What is it?”
“This pot, the large one.  If we can maneuver it toward the obelisk, we can use it to get closer to the top!  Maybe even close enough to jump!”
She tilted her head to the side, as if confused.  “How would we get it over there?”
“We maneuver it over with our bodies.  It won’t be easy, but I believe we can do it.”
“But won’t the humans know if we do that?”
The thought hadn’t occurred to me.  The goal of this was to avoid suspicion.  One of their pots being moved next to the obelisk would be suspicious indeed.
Then she looked up.  “Wait a minute!  If we move it over, we can just move it back!  Right back to where it was.  The humans will be none the wiser!”
I smiled at her.  “Nice thinking!  Alright, let’s do this!”
We wedged our shoulders in to the pot.  It was hard work.  The pot was heavy, laden with some kind of power that we could see around the top.  The powder was falling off and getting on our fur.  This wasn’t good.  But we could just roll on the ground outside.  That should take care of the powder.  It took the span of many, many minutes, but we finally got the pot into place.  We were ready to begin the attempt!
Midnight could jump higher than me, so she volunteered to be the one to test it.
“What if it isn’t high enough?  What if I can’t make it over at first?”
I nodded.  “Then let go.  We don’t want to make too much noise.”
She looked like she understood.  “Alright.  Which container has the treats?”
I drew back, motioning for her to come with me.  “It has a large fish on it, in the same shape as the ones inside.  You can’t miss it.”
She looked up as well.  “Alright, I think I see it.  Let’s do it!”  The excitement was mounting.
She took her place on the pot, crouching down low.  Her claws dug in to the pot.  The tension was high enough to cut with a knife.
Then, she sprang!  Like a bird into the air, she went up.  My tail was still as I watched.  She did it!  She looked down and smiled, wanting to let out a roar of victory.  But we couldn’t.  Not now, anyway.  Very quickly, she got to work, grabbing the container with the treats.  She was on her hind legs, trying to open it.  Suddenly, it gave way.  My heart jumped inside as I saw her topple over.  She was on the edge of the obelisk!  Part of me was scared that this was the end.  But she got back up, looking down at me.  It was alright.  I could tell that look, and she was saying it was alright.
Plus, the toppling of the container had had the desired effect!  It was open, and the treats were falling out.  Even better, they were falling on the counter!  Over a dozen of them fell before it stopped.  I motioned for Midnight to come back down.  She looked so excited.  With perfect grace, she landed on the pot and then on the counter.  We walked over to where our bounty was, with me stepping back.
“You made the kill, so you eat first.”
She smiled and walked over, taking a bite.  I followed.  It was amazing!  There’s nothing quite like a meal that you have to work for.  The dry food the humans give me is nothing compared to this!  Though I didn’t know if this was better than the wet food in the metal containers that no claw could penetrate.  I had tried, on many occasions.  The two of us ate until we could eat no more, picking up the rest and taking them out to where we stashed food we grabbed.  It was a few trips, but we got everything to the stash in the dry place that they kept the machine that roared and they used on the grass.  We always got nervous, but the machine seemed to only roar when they made it so.  Perhaps it was angry at them.  But not us.

It was another long venture to move the pot back to its position, but it had to be done.  We knew this.  After we finished, the two of us went running out into the street.  What a night!  What a wonderful night!  I felt like a much younger cat again.  Midnight was a good deal younger than myself, being only 25 seasons old.  To be that young again.  But it was still a great night, and the two of us danced until we could no more, going back to my fence and laying on the grass to digest.  I would let the humans sleep in tomorrow.  I’d say they deserve that much.

The next day, the humans seemed very perplexed how the container of treats had fallen over.  They looked at me, but both just wrote that off as crazy.  After all, how could a cat get all the way up there?  If they only knew.

Until next time, a quote,

“In Venice in the Middle Ages there was once a profession for a man called a codega–a fellow you hired to walk in front of you at night with a lit lantern, showing you the way, scaring off thieves and demons, bringing you confidence and protection through the dark streets. ” -Elizabeth Gilbert

Peace out,