Well, I was sitting on my Facebook page, a little bored, when I came across this little gem of an article. Now, I have gone after Life Site News before, whenever they post something dumb that I can mock and ridicule to death for how stupid it is. This is an article that I genuinely thinks doesn’t understand reality. For real, real life is totally missing from this person’s comprehension. It’s amazing. That said, here is a link to the article, and let’s go.
Kathy and I go way back. In fact, she was my best friend in elementary school. We had no idea while singing karaoke and staying up late at slumber parties the pain we would go through as adults.
Oh god, not another one of these article. It already has a pretentious beginning, immediately designed to get to a person’s emotional centers. I can see that this article is going to be fair. But, if you don’t believe that, get a load of what comes next.
But we also had no idea how God would use our brokenness for His glory. I’ve been amazed at Kathy’s heart for Jesus, passion for her family, and vigor for empowering other women.
Wow. Subtle. Oh, and for the point that Jesus empowers women or some shit, yeah, take at the Bible. The misogyny of that document is well-known. It is no mystery that this is not only not a good book to live by, but it is a book that openly hates women. So, Kathy’s love for Jesus must be a self-loathing thing. Sucks for her. Hopefully she can escape it at some point.
Recently, she sent me this message. As I sat weeping at my computer over her pain and loss, her sweet baby, and the goodness of a savior who will make all things new, I knew it needed to be shared. And Kathy, in her immense courage, is allowing me to share her story publicly for the first time in her own words…
Well, this must be quite a story. I am bracing myself for it. Obviously, this is going to be a story of a lot of emotional introspection, rational self-debate, and fair-minded discourse that leads to the person growing and becoming better, right?
I feel God pulling at my heart stings to tell the truth about abortion. I want to reach those who feel they have no other choice than their “right to choose.”
Wait, what? How does that work? How do you have this logical disconnect not to see the problem with the sentence “I want to reach those who feel they have no other choice than their ‘right to choose.'”? I mean, that is among the dumbest sentences that I have ever come across. This is ridiculously stupid. When one has a choice, they don’t have any forces restricting their choices. They can choose to either have an abortion, or not to have one. And if the argument is being made here that she is being pressured by society into getting one, I call bullshit. Here in America, getting an abortion is EXTRAORDINARILY stigmatized. Women who do that are called “whores” and “sluts” by the pro-life community all the time. Aren’t they so nice? So yeah, this is patently dumb. But let’s continue.
You are one of a few people that I have shared this story with. God is calling me to share it with more but I am nervous and scared. The truth is I have been carrying around a deep dark secret. Carrying it on my back, and dealing with it all alone because of what the consequences are if people were to hear the truth. The truth is I no longer care what others think. The truth is I know there are others out there like me, suffering alone when they don’t have to. The truth is…God is calling me to speak out.
Ugh, this is patently stupid! So, you have a secret, but you needed Jesus to tell it? And the title already says what your secret is. If you are one of these self-loathing women (who you have to be in order to buy this Christian bullshit) who is big into God, I get why you are doing that. And ironically, while you say above that the pressure is on girls to get an abortion, it is almost like here you are acknowledging that the pressure is against those who actually get one. The logical disconnect is amazing.
The truth is when I was 19 years old I got pregnant. Upon telling my parents; they decided that I would get married. We began to plan a very quick wedding. The boy I was dating at the time turned out to be abusive. He was from an abusive home and had his father had brutally beaten his first wife in front of her two sons. The first time this boy threw me to the ground while I was pregnant I knew there was NO WAY I was going to allow this cycle to repeat. I broke off the engagement and began looking into adoption. I was only 19 and I knew I wasn’t ready to be a mom.
Wow, aside from the asshole parents, who have control over your life when you’re 19 (seriously?! This makes the concept of daddy’s girl that much more…pathetic), and the ugly situation, you seem to have handled this pretty rationally. You knew you weren’t ready to be a parent, so you did what you had to do. What’s the problem?
When I told him I wanted to make an adoption plan, that I knew that was the best choice for us and the baby, he became very angry. Threatening, yelling, and screaming, he told me no one would EVER take the mother of his child or his child away from him. He wouldn’t allow it – that we WOULD be together. I became scared. Fear set in like I can’t even begin to explain. I realized that I could be a victim of abuse or I could save myself and my unborn child and choose to make this all disappear. I told him I had a miscarriage (which is what I told everyone else too).
Again, you were in a hopeless situation, and you did what you had to do. What is the problem? The title of this article seems to say that you regret this choice, or even being able to have this choice, but riddle me this – would you have rather been in the abusive relationship? Would you have rather had this man able to hurt you and your fetus, or potential kid? Is that what you want instead? Hopefully, the answer is no, because that would be not only pathetic, but incredibly sad as well.
Walking into Planned Parenthood the smell of depression and hopelessness lay thick in the room.
Wow. Unbelievable. Yeah, set this up as a fair analogy. It’s like there aren’t plenty of women who aren’t in a bad mood and are going there to get a breast examination or birth control pills. They might be happy as a bunch of clams. But nope. That doesn’t fit your one-sided argument against abortion.
Yes, I could actually smell it. None of the women looked thankful that they had the “choice” to be there. They all looked empty. Broken. I felt it too. I had always said I would NEVER have an abortion. I was wrong. In my mind I believed it was the only “choice” I had at the time to protect myself and my unborn child from a life of fear and abuse. My name was called and I headed in the back. I was scared and alone.
This is so patently ridiculous! Yeah, all the women in there were depressed and miserable. And you know this…because you could “smell” it? I bet you that a girl who was raped by her father would be glad she had the “‘choice’ to be there.” God, this is stupid! This blatantly dumb! It is like this article wants to pass Planned Parenthood off as an abortion machine. Go in today for all your abortion needs! We have it on a factory floor! Bullshit! Abortions account for less than 3% of all the services that Planned Parenthood provides. This is so dumb!
I hear people talking about the right to “choose.” I wish like HELL I didn’t have the right to choose that day.I wish there had been counseling. I wish there had been adoption agencies out there trying to reach the youth. I wish THOSE things were easy access; NOT Planned Parenthood. I wish more than anything, ANYTHING, I could have taken away MY right to choose and allow my baby to have their right to choose life. I wish there was support out there for girls like me. And maybe there was…but Planned Parenthood was easy to find. Abortion is easy. Walk in, walk out. Done. Pregnant. Not Pregnant. Simple. Except…it’s NOT that simple. They forget to tell you about the rest of the story.
Where do I begin about how awful, stupid, and offensive this paragraph is? First, if you think, for a minute, that getting an abortion is EASY, for any woman, you are too stupid to live! I have a dear friend who had an abortion. She was a teenager, in a bad relationship, and she got knocked up. A lot like the rational side of this author, she knew that she couldn’t bring a baby into this world. She was too young and not financially prepared to raise a child (have you ever noticed that the “pro-life” crowd is anti-welfare? That makes sense…). She told me that the decision to do that was the hardest decision that she has ever had to make, and it haunts her all the time making it. But I guarantee you that she wouldn’t have regretted having the choice, because the moment we take that away, we condemn people like her, who are working hard for their future, to throw that all away, every time they make a mistake. Fuck that!
Next, you wish there had been counseling? For what? To tell you about how you were in an abusive relationship, and the rational side of your brain came to the conclusion that you had no other choice. Do you think that counseling would have stopped your abusive boyfriend/would-be husband? Do you think counseling would have gotten you out of danger? No! You did what you had to do. Stop being like Natalia and ditch this self-loathing bullshit. It looks bad on you.
The truth is they don’t tell you about the memory you live with for the rest of your life. For awhile I was able to forget. I had to suppress the memory in order to survive MY right to live. But slowly the memory began to resurface. Back to the room…back to the smells…back to the empty eyes of broken women. Back to the face of the man that literally sucked life out of my body.
Yup, because all these women are totally dead inside, hating life. Yeah, that’s fair and balanced (cough*bullshit*cough).
Abortion is not about choice. It’s about selfishness. It’s about desperation. And I can say that because I have had one. I have walked a mile in those shoes…and it’s a mile that never ends.
You know, lady, I had sympathy for your position at first. Back then, had we met, I would have been very understanding. But your position now, this bullshit, is pissing me off. Yes, choosing to have control of your body is selfish. Choosing to not condemn yourself to being a teenage mom is selfish. Choosing not to become a slave to a dead-end life, that so many single teenage moms have, is selfish. When I think about my friend, and what she told me about her decision to have an abortion, I just get so upset at this stupid bitch, because if she told this stuff to her, I would cold-cock her in the face. Right on the jaw. Ugh!
Recently a friend asked me if I had ever named my baby. Immediately I thought, “No, because that would make it real!” Then the “fetus” would become human. Become a baby. But I knew in that moment I needed to acknowledge that my baby is real. I needed to mourn the loss of my child. I realized how deep the pain still ran from my right to “choose.” I began to pray that God would give me a name. A few weeks ago while driving in the car I heard God speak to me: “Her name is Joy.” Tears streamed down my face. It was a girl! I had had a daughter.
I can’t tell you how stupid this is! Yes, God told you the name of your fetus daughter. I can’t get over how dumb that is. The one-sided nature of this article and how dumb it is to read…I can’t do it! Let’s just keep going. I need to end this.
Before that precious moment in the car, I randomly heard an audible whisper of mom. I will wake up in the middle of the night to mom and there is no one in the room. Washing my face I hear mom and look up…no one there. It has happened a number of times where I hear mom and there is no one around. Shortly after hearing “Her name is Joy,” I was washing my face in the bathroom and I heard the whisper again; mom. Then it hit me: it’s her! It’s Joy. This incredible RUSH came over me and I knew in that moment she was telling me It’s okay. I forgive you. I am here with Jesus waiting for you. I love you. And it’s okay. Since that realization I haven’t heard the voice again. But God has placed on my heart to share this story because I know I am not alone. I KNOW I am not the only woman sitting at Church or in Bible Study carrying this same burden. It’s the ONE thing that Christians don’t talk about other than to point a finger at someone and telling them its murder. I am not sure what God’s plan is for me with sharing this story. But I know that SOMEONE needs to hear it. So I am sharing it.
I have no words. This is the stupidest thing ever. I just don’t know what to say to something as dumb as that. If you have thoughts, put them in the comments section. I’d love to hear it.
If you have gone through the agony of abortion, you are not alone. And it’s OKAY to talk about it. We can’t heal unless we help each other carry our burdens. I have finally carried that baggage to the foot of the cross and left it there. I have been forgiven. Not only has God forgiven me but he has blessed me far beyond measure with four more beautiful children. And he’s placed it in my heart to help fight for moms and babies. For anyone out there that has suffered in silence, that has carried this burden on their back ashamed of the choice they made, please know you are NOT alone.
Finally! The end of the article. You know, it’s so easy for these Christian zealots to vilify Planed Parenthood. They make such as easy mark. Doing the hard stuff. They give women affordable birth control. They do affordable STD examination. They do pregnancy tests. They do so many services, and all trying to make it easier for women who are in a bad financial situation to take care of themselves, and you all have to make them into some kind of evil bastards. You all suck! This article is dumb! And that’s all I have to say.
Until next time, a quote,
“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” – Harlan Ellison