I don’t know how many of you know this, but the Resident Evil movies have sucked. I can at least watch the first one because it has a couple genuinely scary moments, but the rest can’t even fall into the category of so bad they’re good. They just suck. They are cinematic abortions from first to last. When I saw the preview for The Final Chapter, I was doing cartwheels because I finally thought that they were bringing an end to a series that NO ONE asked to go on this long. No one. People have been begging for this to end years ago. Hell, the films aren’t even financially solvent, so why did this go on for so long? Mysteries for the prophets.
But it seems that the films are already being planned for a six-film reboot. Don’t believe me? Check out this link and really soak in how stupid this is. Naturally, it’s because of Germans that this abortion is being forced to keep going. As they say, it’s brought in over $1.2 billion in profits. For six films, with their level of production values, that actually seems pretty bad. The article even says that the idea for six films is them milking it. They want to suck this cash cow dry until there is absolutely nothing left. I am in awe.
Can we please stop making video game movies? I’m being serious. These films suck. Without a SINGLE exception, they all suck. Everyone tried to defend the Warcraft film, but even then it was flimsy at best. I can at least acknowledge that the original Silent Hill film was made by someone who at least loved the games and wanted to do right by them. It still sucked, but there was at least a little heart. More than most of this shit. Video game films are becoming the bottom of the film barrel, and Hollywood is showing that they don’t care if film budgets are wasted making more of this garbage. I honestly wish that Hollywood would realize that we need some originality in film.
Movies are getting so predictable. I just got done watching Rogue One, and the whole time I’m like – something interesting is going to happen soon, right? I liked Civil War, but that’s because it actually had heroes fighting each other. That was unique. But I am still tired of comic book movies. Star War VII was a remake of the original with a check and even less fun. None of the big movies even get my attention anymore. And now they are releasing a new Pirate of the Caribbean film and I bet that film will die even more than the previous film did. That franchise has been played out. The only film I actually want to see coming out soon is Dunkirk, because it is being made by a direct who I know will make a film that isn’t just me watching a computer.
I know that there are people in Hollywood who have good ideas. The problem is that studios are basically condemning them to never get anything made because all they care about is something easy to market. Something that they can put out there and know there will be a return of investment. It’s why we have Transformers VI, Star Wars: Independent Story Nobody Cared About, Cars 3, and other equally-uninteresting films that will still make a ton of money because the audience in this country is retarded.
And while we’re on the subject, can we PLEASE stop with these reboots?! I am fucking sick of films that play on nostalgia as the only way to keep you in the seats. All of these films just make me realize how much I loved the original. That’s it. I groan when I see a previews to another franchise or something that I loved being turned into a cash-grab. Thankfully, these films are becoming less and less financially successful, which hopefully can give the six-figure salaries and two-digit IQs in Hollywood a clue that this crap is played out.
In the meantime, fuck this latest reboot. I haven’t seen one of these films in years, and I am not going to now. Who are the idiots who keep watching this shit? I honestly want to know.
Until next time, a quote,
“Running out of ideas will put in you the dark until death.” – Cambodian Proverb