First things first, this is more than 10 questions. A lot more. Don’t blame me. This guy even says in his video that it will be 10 questions. Dude needs to learn how to count. Anyway, a really annoyed guy seems to be flummoxed by how “monosexuals” don’t get his struggles. As a person who is almost-completely on the hetero side of the spectrum, I thought I would take on his list of “10” questions, along with all the ones that he asks between them. Here’s a link to his video, so none of you can say that I take what he says out of context, now let’s get to it.
1. What is it about bisexuality that scares you?
Nothing. I couldn’t possibly care less what you’re attracted to. Be into goats for all I care. So long as you aren’t hurting anyone, it’s fine by me.
Does it make you question your own sexuality?
There are an express few men that I have been sexually interested in. I can count them on one hand. Your bisexuality does absolute zilch to affect that. So long as whatever you’re into has all parties consenting, you have fun with that.
Does it threaten your understanding of the world?
Does it force you to accept that few things are binaries?
Actually, no. See, here’s the thing – most everything has binaries. Let’s look at hot and cold. Sure, there are levels between them, but in the end, it falls into one of two categories. Either it is hot to a degree, or cold to a degree. Then there’s right and wrong. Sure, there are levels of how wrong or how right something may be, but at the end of both spectrums are those two distinctions. Then there is the one that you all believe – the gender is a spectrum. It’s not. Blair White, the Internet’s favorite trans woman, made a fantastic rebuttal to this idea that gender is on a spectrum. However, for the sake of argument, let’s say that it is on some magical spectrum (a statement that there is NO science to back up), at one end is male and the other end is female. So yeah, there are plenty of binaries.
2. Why are you so arrogant?
Because I’m just that awesome.
Why can’t you believe that there are sexualities out there that are not like yours?
I live on the Internet when I’m not at work, dude. Believe me, I know that there are plenty of sexual preferences that aren’t like mine.
3. Why do you equate sexual fluidity with moral fluidity?
I don’t. There are plenty of moral and immoral people of all sexual preferences. Just look at that woman who was busted keeping teenage girls in her mother’s basement as sex slaves. But when this guy brings it up, and I can’t help but think he’s talking about the gay community who sees him and his as fake. You’d be surprised how big a part of the gay community there is who sees bisexuality as just faking it.
4. Why do you forget that we exist?
Because unless you are asking me to join in (no thanks, dude. You’re not my type), I honestly don’t give a fuck about your sexuality. I’m not the kind of guy who thinks about guys banging guys and then banging girls. Unless I’m watching bi porn or something. But that’s a whole other deal.
5. Why don’t you let us give blood?
This dude is either ignoring context or just didn’t think this question through. This isn’t about bi men, dude. It’s also about gay men. And I think it is wrong for both. There is no reason that a gay man can’t give blood. That whole deal came up in the 80’s, when AIDS was spreading like a pandemic in the gay community and everyone feared blood from a gay person as being infected with HIV. These days, so long as a person of any sexuality has been tested to make sure they are clean, their giving sexuality shouldn’t determine their eligibility to give blood.
6. Why aren’t you working with us to decrease the health disparities?
We tell you to use condoms, do we not? We tell you to be safe, and to be honest with your partners about whether or not you have HIV. All of the health advice that we give to gay men can be given to you. And thanks to that health advice, AIDS is not nearly the boogeyman that it was in the 80’s. But that’s no excuse to stop. Some STI’s are the rise thanks to people being lax about condoms and protection. So I would love to work with you. Help spread awareness of safe sex wherever you can. But he frames his conversation as mental health. Okay, but same deal. The same mental health problems affecting the bi community can just as easily be felt by the gay community. Granted, you all do have the added bonus of having some gay people see you as fakers who are lying about your sexuality. I condemn such statements. So there, I worked with you again.
Why do you ignore our cries for help?
I don’t. Any person who comes to me on my social media pages (check out my About page at the top, it has all the links) and tells me that they need help, I would do what I can.
7. Why do you think that we’re on teams?
You said earlier that you are the “B in LGBT.” You know what that means? It means that you’re grouping yourself as part of a team. You want to be part of some inclusive little group. Meanwhile, I don’t. I have my sexual preferences as they are, and I don’t want to be seen as part of this group or that one. When all of you work so hard to be part of some identity that you can have as your own, then it fits you into a box. That’s part of the whole collectivist mindset that your side of the ideological fence has. Unfair? Maybe, but so long as you demand to be seen as part of a group, then I can’t help you.
8. Why do you fetishize us?
I don’t. Well, not you, anyway. There are certain guys that I’ve thought about it…
Straight men, why do you fetishize bisexual women?
Because they can be hot. And given how women have learned to make out with other women to get dumb guys to buy them drinks, they haven’t ignored this. I don’t fetishize the lights on my fake Christmas tree, but I still like looking at them all the same.
Why do you think their sexuality is performative?
I don’t. Unless they are in porn, where they are getting paid to put on a performance. Or if they are using it to get men to buy them drinks, in which case they know what they are doing too.
Why do you think that everything a woman does is for you and your gaze?
Dude, I don’t think that anything a woman does is for me, unless they indicate that that is what it was for. Like I don’t assume that a girl making cookies is for me, unless they are giving me some of those cookies. In which case, it was at least partially for me. In a similar way, if I am watching porn that has two women fucking in it, then I assume that that was done for me, because they were paid to do so. If the chicks at the bar want to make out, then they have lost their right not to be looked at. If you don’t want to be gawked at for public displays of intimacy, then keep them at home. I don’t make out with my non-existent girl-friend in public because I don’t want to be stared at. It’s that easy.
Gay men, why do you fetishize bisexual men?
Alright, I need some gay people here. Any gay man, is this really a thing? I have to know.
Why is it considered “hot” if I have sex with other women?
No joke, if you aren’t gay, get some gay friends and tell me if this is a thing.
Why do you think that I’m more “masculine” because of it?
Dude, there are plenty of gay men who you would never know that they are gay unless you asked. This idea that gay men are effeminate is a complete stereotype.
9. Why do you refuse to date us?
Projecting, much? Me, personally, it’s because you’re not my type. By the way, that answer is the same for all of them. They aren’t interested in a man who goes both ways. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not into girls with insanly curly, frizzy hair. Does that mean I hate all girls with that? Nope. There is NOTHING wrong with having sexual or romantic preferences. Nothing at all.
Are you insecure?
Unable to handle the pressures of dating someone who is not monosexual?
10. Why do we have to justify our sexuality when you don’t?
You don’t. I don’t give a fuck about your sexuality. No one has to justify shit. It’s you who chooses to see things that way. I’m sorry that you do, but that’s on you. If you are going to let the opinions of people who reject you color your perceptions like that, then it’s your fault.
Well, that was a waste of time. It’s clear that this dude is salty about rejection, but whatever. It’s on him if he is going to let that color his entire outlook on pursuing relationships and intimacy. By the way, monosexual is a bullshit term. Can’t wait for Salon magazine and BuzzFeed to write a thousand posts about how bad it is.
Until next time, a quote,
“A perfect cherry blossom is a rare thing. A man could spend his entire life looking for one, and it wouldn’t be a wasted life.” – Lord Moritsugo Katsumoto, The Last Samurai