Well, the month of December is upon us, and we have another conservative outlet who is telling us that Christmas is under attack and has to be defended by the stalwart “patriots” who are going to keep America strong. By, you know, complaining about the biggest First World Problems ever. For example – Christmas is under attack! Did you not know that?! Us EVIL left-leaning people are trying to destroy this beautiful symbol of Corporate America, with only the most insanely-devoted Christians legitimately giving a shit about the Jesus nonsense that has been proven not to be true. The reality is that Christmas as we understand it is just the old Romans not wanting to give up the winter solstice celebration that had been part of culture for hundreds of years. So the bullshit artists of religion decided to get together and say that their savior was born on that day, and make up two equally-convoluted stories to justify his birth on that day being a giant plot-hole from previous works of the Bible.
Yeah, that’s the narrative that the conservatards of Prager University have cooked up, in the latest retarded-ass video that they have graced us with, because they need to tell their echo chamber that their precious holiday is under attack. I’ll have the video posted here, so no one can say that I’m taking anything out of context, then we’ll talk about it.
Butthurt conservatives first assertion is that it used to be totally cool to say Merry Christmas, but now all of us EVIL left-leaning people say happy holidays. I’m going to debunk the majority of this entire video in two points that I’m going to make.
First, NO ONE cares if you say Merry Christmas. I’m left-leaning as fuck, and I couldn’t possibly care less if you say “Merry Christmas” to me. Hell, I’ll even say it back to you. I work at the most thankless job in the world, and even the assholes who call in every day have started saying nice holiday greetings and I return them in kind. There isn’t a single person out there who legitimately gives a fuck about the statement of “Merry Christmas.” I am so fucking sick of this narrative that isn’t backed up by a single substantive piece of evidence. This octogenarian fuck pulled it right out of his ass, just like every conservative pundit who wants to capitalize on how stupid their audience is. And you have bumper stickers like (and I’m not shitting you. I wish I had gotten a picture), “want to offend a liberal? Say ‘Merry Christmas’ to them.” Yeah, I’m really hurt by a greeting that is part of the cultural lexicon in EVERY fucking part of the country.
Where did this idea that us left-leaning people hate this statement come from? I have looked back, and the first time I started really hearing about it was around the time Obama became President. During the Bush years, nobody gave a shit. I was a little young during the Clinton years, so if this was some big issue then, I didn’t see it. If anyone remembers back that far, let me know. It really gained steam during the Obama administration. Before that, people used both terms interchangeably without anyone giving the remotest shit.
Second – the statement of “Happy Holidays” didn’t come up at some snub for Christmas. For those who are capable of paying attention, it is said because it includes all kinds of holidays. Not just Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa (nobody celebrates Kwanzaa. Nobody), but also Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and New Year’s. It is an easy, all-encompassing statement for the holiday season. Since the reality is that Christmas exists as a corporate holiday, Corporate America needed a simple phrase that is easy to put on posters around the store and in advertisements. Boom, they got it. That’s it. This Prager fuck doesn’t pay attention to ANYTHING approaching history. He’s a conservative, though. Aside from the positions that suck America off (so much of this country is one giant circle-jerk), their knowledge of history is dismal at best.
Now that we’ve cleared up the bulk of the points in his video, let’s tackle one of my favorite bits of conspiracy theory that I’ve seen in some time. The guy makes the contention that us atheists are secretly trying to enforce some secular government. Here’s where I get to surprise some people – yeah, actually, I would love to see a secular government. But this guy actually thinks that us atheists are trying to do that through the usage of a this phrase. That’s the level of stupid we’re working with here. This guy is too wealthy to actually believe his own bullshit, so I figure this is just to keep the money flowing in from the people who are easily-manipulated. The secular government that I am envisioning is coming to pass simply because more and more people are leaving behind the antiquated bullshit that makes up religion. It’s a bygone belief structure that was started by a bunch of people who were just looking for a way to control people.
Religion is outdated in an age where we can take all the knowledge of the human race and put it in their hand. We don’t need to wonder about the nature of the world anymore. Science has shown us that nothing about the world’s existence requires some magical man in the sky who seems to have an awful lot of human characteristics, such as anger, vengeance, and genocidal rage, to name a few. If this man actually believes that me and mine are trying to upend the religious section of society with this stupid statement, then these idiots clearly aren’t paying attention.
The guy concludes by urging his dim-witted audience to keep saying “Merry Christmas.” Yeah, because us lefties are going to be totally destroyed by it! The horror! Or I’ll just say it back and not care. You know, like a normal person.
Until next time, a quote,
“Stupid is a condition. Ignorance is a choice.” -Wiley Miller