Yup, BuzzFeed actually went there. This isn’t on their BuzzFeed Yellow channel. I guess this is supposed to be a more serious video. It seems that this “news” outlet wants to tackle religion. Clench your assholes, people. This can’t be good. Here’s a link to the original video, now let’s do this.
What’s the deal with Santa? So breaking and entering is okay, so long as it’s a chubby white dude?
No. I have no issue with Santa because he isn’t real. Just like Allah, now that I think on it. I do, however, have problems with the religion of Islam. But I’m sure that the rest of your questions are going to be much more serious.
When are you gonna stop asking me if I pray five times a day?
I wouldn’t ask. I don’t care. I couldn’t possibly care less about what you do with your religion, so long as you aren’t hurting anyone. If you’re just praying to your bullshit religion and honoring your pedophile prophet, that’s your business.
Why must you put bacon in EVERYTHING?
Because it’s tasty.
Do you really think women who wear a hijab don’t have hair underneath?
What…? Who thinks this way?
Why do you think all Muslims are Arab?
I don’t, actually. That’s something I point out to people who are stupid enough to make Islam out to be a race or a culture, like Ben Affleck did. I know quite well that there are Muslims of all ethnic origins. That’s why, when I insult the religion, I’m not talking to any ethnic group. I’m talking to those who follow the religion.
Why are only Muslims mentioned in talks about religious extremism? Did you know hear about the KKK? Westboro Baptist Church? Crusades?
Last I checked, the KKK didn’t blow up an airport in Brussels. The Westboro Baptist Church didn’t drive a truck into people in Nice, and then subsequently get out of the truck with a rifle to continue killing. And the Crusades? That’s old history. Are you still on about that? You and Black Lives Matter should get together. The simple reality is that Islamic terrorism is the predominate form of religious extremism right now, and it has an ever-growing body count. Christian extremists took over a state building in Oregon. The biggest false-equivalence that I have ever seen.
Why do you assume all Muslim women are conservative, virginal souls?
I don’t. But when you have stories about gangs of Muslim women in Germany attacking women there while shouting that they are whores, it does make one wonder how big the liberal community is in Islam.
Why do you expect every Muslim woman to wear a head-scarf? Does every Catholic woman dress like a nun? Does every Jewish man wear a yamaka?
Why do you keep making assumptions about my expectations? There are old photos from Iran before extremist Islam took over where women are wearing bathing suits and looking like normal people. Islam has all stripes, and if only there would be a movement like the suffragettes in the Middle East, then maybe the good days can come back and we can stop having insanity like ISIS palling around. One of the reasons why I think that the Kurdish women fighters are just tops. As for all Catholic women being dressed like nuns, pretty much every Eastern European woman I know who is Catholic dressed insanely conservative. So there’s that.
Are you really scared we’re going to take over America with Sharia Law?
Do you really think I want to donate 2.5% of my income to charity?
I’m assuming not, given your tone of voice and the look on your face when you said that.
What is the secret ingredient in Church’s chicken?
That is the dumbest question on any of these lists that I’ve tackled so far.
How can I hang out with the new Pope?
Got me. Pope Jorge is just a figurehead, in my eyes. At least until he starts giving some of these pedophile priests to the law.
Well, that wasn’t even approaching serious. That was stupid. There were a thousand really interesting questions that they could have asked. Maybe challenged some atheists on how we tend to be very visceral on the attack with their religion. Believe it or not, but I would have loved to debate stuff like that. Instead, we got empty questions that are about as insightful as a bologna sandwich. Kinda want one of those right now.
Until next time, a quote,
“Don’t ask stupid questions, Murph!” – Joker, Batman: The Animated Series