Let’s Answer 33 Questions White People (of BuzzFeed) Have for White People

How did I not see this?!  I am in love with BuzzFeed Yellow.  Doing responses to these videos is among the most fun I get to have.  This channel is basically taking the worst stereotypes about white people and having questions gears toward making those stereotypes defensive.  This channel is aptly named, as it is as yellow as “journalism” (or as close as BuzzFeed will ever get) gets without going over the edge.  Now we have one where we have some white people asking the white people stereotypes that BuzzFeed has some questions.  Let’s get some popcorn and break this sucker down!  Here’s a link to the original video, so you can’t say I’m taking things out of context.  Let’s do this.

Why do you assume only other races like fried chicken?

I don’t.  I happen to enjoy it quite much.  As do you, based on what you say after that dumb questions.  But there are lots of people in the black community who like it too.  Something that they have no problem joking about.  Watch Chappelle Show or The Boondocks sometime.  You might learn something.

Why do we make it so we only have pumpkin in the fall?

At least we start off with some mildly-amusing stereotypes about white people.  I can honestly dig this.  It’s still dumb, but it’s fun.  To answer your question – because it’s a fall thing.  It’s a harvest thing.  Blame Mother Nature for that.

Why can’t most white people dance?  Like, is it genetic or something?  Do we have stiff knees?

Fuck if I know.  The only white person I think of when it comes to dancing is a former buddy of mine from college who is a giant teddy bear and used being able to dance to assist in his absolute drowning in pussy.  Not even kidding, this guy who has all the qualities that should get a dude friendzoned into oblivion is able to avoid it and get into all the pants he wants.  It’s weird.

Why do you get so annoyed when other people don’t speak English?

I don’t.  Though, if I am trying to do business with someone and English isn’t their first language, that can be difficult.  However, I have had tons of jobs in customer service, so I realize that sometimes you have to be very patient with people.  I’m better at that than most.  Got this racist uncle who is among those whose better angels do not appear.

Why do we get so excited to brag on Instagram that we went to this really cool authentic cultural festival even though we went with all of our white friends?

Groj forbid that white people should want to go and be at an event where we can learn about other cultures.  How awful!  Because if we go and learn something about another group of people, that could only help us grow as individuals (situation).  Can’t have that.

Why do white people spray-tan until they turn orange?

I have no idea…

Why can’t you be comfortable in your own body?

The thing is, this criticism can be applied to any group.  This isn’t a race thing.  It’s an individual (situation) thing.  People get self-conscious.  People want to change how they look.  It’s the way people do.  What’s the problem with that?

Why do you think because you’ve seen five seasons of The Wire, you’re a cultural expert?

I don’t think that at all.  Why do you think because you have these interactions that you never really have with white people and BuzzFeed tells you are true, that this is endemic within all white people?

Why do you believe everything you see on TV when it comes to other races?

I don’t.  Assume, much?

Why do we get so upset when a show becomes “diverse” even though “diverse” usually means just two or three people of color?

I could give two shits about how many “people of color” (this term needs to go.  It’s an “of” and an “ed” away from “colored people”) there are in a show.  So long as it’s good, I couldn’t possibly care less what the ethnicities of characters are.

Why do you assume that movies with white stars are more relatable than movies with people of color?

The films tied at the top spot on my top 20 favorite films list are Japanese films.  There’s that.  I want good characters.  If a character is good, their ethnicity literally means nothing to me.  My favorite anti-hero is Omar Little.  Here’s one for you – why do you think that the Asian markets that Hollywood wants to appeal to want to see white people in action movies more than “people of color?” (how is this term not seen as racist?)

Why is Viola Davis the first black woman to win an Emmy for Best Actress?

Man, I’m the wrong guy to ask.  I don’t even pay attention to that aware show nonsense.  I see it the way Ice Cube does – it’s just a statue.  You don’t do movies for that.  You do it for love of the craft.

Why aren’t we complaining that the Oscars and other award shows are all white?

Here’s a link to a video where someone debunks this point pretty handily.  Watch it.

Why don’t we know the difference between appropriation and appreciation?

Because the moment you hipster losers see anyone doing anything even vaguely able to be construed as the former, you will get all over that?  Do you know the difference?

Why can’t we figure out how to make our own pop culture?  Our own slang?  Our own cool clothes, instead of stealing other people’s cool clothes?

Citation on that last one, please.  I guess you have never seen Abercrombie and Fitch.  Or any of those overpriced brand-name labels.  But the way I see it, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  it’s the reason that I have no problem seeing cute little Asian girls fronting death metal bands.  You also have this weird idea about white people and our “own pop culture.”  Did you know that there are cultures of white people that aren’t American?  There’s British, German, French, Swedish, Russian.  All of those different groups have different cultural identities.  I had a friend who went around Europe recently, and she said that the culture shock was pretty significant because of how different things are.  Like how tipping is viewed as an insult or the nature of toilets there.  Fatty Americans aren’t made for Europe.

Why are white people obsessed with Wes Anderson?

So far as I know, his movies have never had mainstream appeal.  I’m rather interested in them because I like his movies..  He makes quality stuff and it’s nice to see comedy movies be made that aren’t the typical American shit like the stuff that Paul Feig makes is.  No disrespect, Edgar Wright.  You’re amazing.

Why would you ever say “thug life?”

I don’t.  But meme culture isn’t just a white person thing, dumb-dumb.  Racist, much?

What do you have against seasoning and spicyness?

Nothing.  Not a huge fan of hot, but delicious spice can be fun.  Your assumptions are amusing.

Why are casseroles our thing?

They are?  Since when?

Why do you try and avoid confrontation at all costs?

I don’t go looking for it, but I honestly prefer when people who have an issue with me bring it to my attention.  I’m pretty good at finding a resolution with those that I like.  White people in general tend to be more passive.  No idea why.  I’m sure there’s a science-y answer to it.

Why is it crazy that I’m white and I have a big butt?

There’s some hyperbole.  It’s not crazy, but it is abnormal.  White people tend not to.

Why is it such a big deal when somebody doesn’t want to hike?

Where did this question come from?

Why do you keep talking about reverse racism?

I don’t.  You do.  I see it as not a real thing.  It’s just racism.  SJWs are the ones who coined this term.

Why are you too afraid to speak up when somebody says something racist?

I’m assuming that you only mean that in connection to white people.  I speak up all the time when I see racist things, like some of the rhetoric from the more dead-cops inclined members of Black Lives Matter.  Or the rhetoric of the likes of Uhuru.  But I guess that doesn’t count, because they aren’t white.  It’s only bad when white people do it.  Racist, much?

Why do we think that having one friend of color (I can’t be the only person who sees how bad this term is!) means that nothing we say can be racist?

Anyone who makes that argument is dumb.  I argue that I’m not a racist because I don’t look down on people because of their race.  Well, I hate all people, but not because of race.  I just hate humanity.  It’s called misanthropy.

Why does being half-white only make my commentary on white culture a half-truth?

Um…what?  I…I don’t get it.  Who says this?  Who has ever said this?  At any point in time?

Why do you believe that Black Lives Matter means that your life doesn’t matter?

When you look at some of the rhetoric that its members spew, like the lady who said that it would just tickle her pink if the baby of the white couple died, it becomes pretty clear that there are plenty of people associated with that movement who are just using it a vehicle to promote their bigoted ideas.

Why do you get offended when you see a table full of black people, but not a lunchroom full of white people?

This question is so unrealistic to anything I have ever thought that I honestly have no response.

Why do you ask to have a “white people club?”

I don’t.  When has this ever happened?  Citatiion, please.

Why do you see the success of people of color as a threat to you?

I don’t.  Worked with this cute little half-black, half-asian girl.  She’s gone on to be very successful after college.  Happy for her.  She was a nice sort.  Made working at the job much better.

You know that a two-minute video about whiteness isn’t reverse racism, right?

True.  There’s no such thing.  There’s just racism.  Though you all have some pretty racist ideas about white people.  Just putting that out there.

Why are we upset about immigrant, even though we are immigrants?

Who is this we that you’re talking to?  I don’t give two shits.

Well, that was some fun low-hanging fruit.  This page is enjoyable.  Been busy posting today.

Until next time, a quote,

“We don’t do movies for the industry. We do movies for the fans, for the people.  And, you know, if the industry gives you a trophy or not, pats you on the back or not, it’s nice and all, but it’s not something you should dwell on.” – Ice Cube

Peace out,

Maverick

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