The terror attacks in Brussels have gotten a lot of people scared out of their wits about the idea of a terrorist coming into their lives and fucking up their day. But that’s not me. Make no mistake, I am not afraid of the idea of being killed by a terrorist. That doesn’t frighten me one bit. The fact that it is unlikely in the extreme is not even part of that. Though it is true that you are more likely to get bitten by a shark than you are to be killed in a terrorist attack. At least in the First World. In the First World, you are more likely to be crushed by a vending machine. You are more likely to be stomped to death by a moose. There are lots of things you are more likely to be a victim of than terrorism. Thus, I am not afraid of death by terrorism. But the reality is that I’m not afraid to die at all. Not one tiny bit.
My mortality is a companion, to me. It’s something that I know will come to an end one day, as it will for everyone. I don’t get why people are so frightened of the idea of dying. I don’t believe there’s an afterlife waiting for me. I like the concept, but I don’t actively believe it. Besides, if I were going to believe in an afterlife, I would believe in the one from Beyond: Two Souls. An infinite existence where you can go anywhere and see anything. Time and space mean nothing, and you can explore at your whim. That sounds cool to me. But that’s just wishful thinking. I realize that the fact is that when I die, I am likely going to just blink out of existence and that’s that.
I was talking to a friend the other day, and he told me about how he carries a gun wherever he goes because he is afraid of being accosted by a criminal. It apparently happens quite a bit where he is. Someone nearly got shot out there. I don’t get his need to have a gun. Never mind the fact that a would-be criminal would likely get the jump on him, and his gun wouldn’t protect him at all. I just don’t get why he is so eager to defend his life.
This ties in to my absolute abyss of depression and how I don’t really like this mortality bit all that much. What is so great in life that it’s worth being constantly afraid for. You die, and that’s it. Whatever happens to us after we die, the fact is that all of your problems are over. It’s the ultimate release from all the stupid BS that we have to deal with in the mortal plane. There’s a book called the Hagakure, which I read because it has this great passage about life, which I have emulated in everything I do.
It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream. When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this.
That quote is the personal view that I live to. I don’t actively care about most anything that happens in life. I have to care about my finances and whatnot, but I have no existential crises that I fear on a daily basis. Death just seems like the end to all the nonsense that I have to deal with every day. When I die, I won’t have to care about my bills. I won’t have to care about my lonely apartment. I won’t have to care about my nigh-dead friend life or my utterly-dead personal life. Death is the ultimate liberation from those concerns.
So why does my friend worry so much? He never answered when I brought this thought up. Is it just something that is accepted that life is supposed to be cherished. Why? You die, and that’s it. All of your problems are done. Nothing else matters. In that last moment, you get to slip away and let it all go. That sounds like the most freeing thing in the world. The reality is that our existence in this plane is the thing that is so much ugliness. Childhood is the greatest time you will ever have, and all of us neglect to see how good it is.
I guess this rambling post was just to tell you that you all and your attachment to this world interests me. I want to know what is so important for you to fear for it. If you believe in God, then doesn’t the idea of dying seem appealing to you. You get to go to God. If you don’t, then all of your problems are about to end. Eternal rest. It’s interesting. But I guess that’s it. Let me know what you all think about mortality in the comments.
Until next time, a quote,
“When I was younger, I wasn’t afraid of anything. I didn’t have the slightest fear of dying. No reason for it. I thought that if I die, it was fine with me. Anytime at all.” -Spike Spiegel, Cowboy Bebop