My Ending Plan

I recently got a new job.  Yeah, it feels good.  So much tension relieved.  The situation with employment has been dogging on me for a long time.  Now, I am finally able to move forward.  See, it’s not just the fact that I have a job.  I also have a goal.  It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.  The first step is one I mean to take.  I have no idea when I am going to be able to finish.  I may never.  It could end up being like the couple from Up, where I continually have to drain money from the fund I am going to be starting in order to pay for the endless financial bullshit in my life.  But I am still going to try.  At this point, I don’t really have anything to lose.

Once I have this whole situation with my paycheck and whatnot figured out, and how much I am going to owe my parents on an escrow account they are setting up for me to repay them for them helping me with my college loan situation (individjual), and how I am going to pay for insurance that I’m going to have to buy, I am going to start a separate account to put money into.  It will be for one purpose – to save up for a house.  I look all the time.  Since I don’t sleep very well at night, I have a lot of time to kill.  So I look up houses.  Where?  Why on the ocean, of course.  The biggest dream I’ve had is to live on the water.  To have the sound of the waves lull me to sleep each night.  Is that so selfish a dream?  I don’t know.  Anyway, I mean to start my fund.  This is going to be an unfathomably expensive venture.  I don’t want to live on a beach.  Far from it.  Just on the ocean.  Everyone wants beach-front property.  Eff that!  I just want a place where I can watch the ocean and listen to the waves.

My dream place has a couple of features.  The first is a space where I can watch the ocean.  I really don’t need much.  See, because I’m an unattractive giant, I know that I’ll be making this trip alone.  It’ll just be me, embarking on the greatest voyage of my life.  The last voyage I mean to take.  For real, this is the very end goal of my overall plan that I’ve been brewing for my life.  Ever since my second-to-last year in college, I’ve had this nagging thought at the back of my mind- where do I want to end up?  It’s a good question.  As I said, I’m unattractive.  So a romance life is out.  I won’t have the endless problems some people do.  No children.  No wife.  No obligations outside of myself.  Well, there will be this repayment thing.  That will be fun.  And I will eventually have a car loan.  Life sure is a rip-roaring fucking adventure, isn’t it.  I fucking hate every minute of waking up.

Anyway, I go all the time and look on sites that give costs of houses on the ocean in places like Oregon and Washington.  Those are the kinds of states I’d like to live in.  Northern Pacific, you know.  None of that East Coast shit.  Nothing but assholes out that way.  Not to mention crowded.  A friend of a lady-friend was telling me that you can find pretty cheap ocean-front housing in Oregon, but it’s in towns that are beyond hick.  Works for me.  I’m not the social type anyway, so hardly anyone will see me.  All I need is a good view.  But that’s not the only thing.  I just insanely-digressed from the description of my dream house.

The place won’t be very large.  Hell, I could live with a one-bedroom home, if such things existed.  If there are two bedrooms, I’ll just be converting the second bedroom into a library/study anyway.  Maybe, by the time I get where I’m looking to go, I will have some money for proper video-making equipment and a good PC for editing.  Then I can make videos for my YouTube channel which are good.  Novel concept, I know.  The living room will be my entertainment space.  Just an Interwebs connection and my gaming systems, and I’m good.  But the real thing I mean to spend time in is the kitchen.  I LOVE to cook.  When my ex and I were living together, it was understood that I did the cooking.  She had admirable qualities, but cooking was not one of them.  I’m one of these weird guys who loves to cook and isn’t gay or a hipster.  It’s a funny world we live in.

So that’s all I need.  A kitchen, a space for my technologies, and a view of the ocean.  That’s all.  Once I have that, then I’m happy.  The final goal of my overall life plan is to get to the ocean and then live a few years in a place where I can be happy.  Just me and the water.  A part time job, for something to occupy my days.  Will like volunteer with a non-profit group.  The idea is that I am going to live in apartments until I save up enough to get into a house.  It is a tall order.  The tallest there is.  But this is where I want to be.  A house, on the ocean, where I can listen to the waves.

Question is – what do I do when I have that.  Been pondering that question for some time.  Honestly, given how far down the road this will inevitably be, it’s a question that will have to be dealt with when I get there.  To be honest, after a few years of living without having to be afraid for my future, part of me thinks that I may just cash in my chips there.  After all, I’ll likely be in my 50’s when I get there.  Hell, it’s like retirement, only not a giant pile of shit.  Not waiting for old age and the lonely bed being the thing to claim my life.  I get to go somewhere that I want to be, living the kind of life that I want, but not going at it too long so that it becomes an issue.  By the time I get there.  Again, way too early to tell.

So there’s my ending plan.  The final place I mean to end up.  Getting to watch the ocean and have that be the thing that puts me to sleep.  It sounds perfect.  Getting to live the kind of life I have wanted to live for so long.  No kids.  No wife.  Unattractive ogre doesn’t have to worry about that.  It’s pretty simple.  Now I will be starting a fund where I’ll probably be putting about 50 dollars in a month.  If that.  Might have to start this a year or two down the line.  Unsure, just yet.

What do you all think?  Let me know down in the Comments.

Until next time, a quote,

And as I sat there, looking out into the darkness, I thought back on all the things I’d built and left unfinished. I realized something – I wasn’t sad that it was gone. I had had fun making all that stuff. I would have done it anyway. And then, somehow, I knew that when I woke up, all my work really would be destroyed.” – The King, The Unfinished Swan

Peace out,



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