Another Victim of Modern Feminism (A response to Steve Shives)

It’s almost sad how things went with this guy.  There are so many online personalities who have allowed their values systems or their inability to be objective ruin their entire careers.  That’s one thing that I have been trying desperately to avoid. Sorry I haven’t been posting much recently.  Not only has it been a little quiet, but I’ve been sick as well.  But now I’m back, I’m feeling spry, and I’m eager to get back in the world of talking about shit on the Internet.  Tomorrow I have a surprise for all of you.  Something that all of you have already partaken of, so none of you will really care about what I have to say.  Aren’t I versatile?  I’ll give you a hint, it involves the new Star Wars movie.  That I am certain all of you have already seen, so you won’t give two fucks what I have to say about it.  Well, I do what I do, and that’s how it goes.  My goal here is to write good things, and hopefully to entertain you.  No idea how I’m doing about that.  There isn’t a ratings system on here.  All I can do is hope for the best, and give you what I can.  This is my passion project, after all.

Back to the topic of this post, Steve Shives.  For those of you who have been under a rock or something, Steve Shives is part of the YouTube atheist community.  A very special part.  The EXTREME-left side that is radically social justice and radically anti-MRA.  Steve’s content used to be pretty alright.  Here’s a link to his channel.  Go watch his early stuff, then watch his later stuff.  It’s almost weird how drastic the change is.  The thing about what has happened with him is – the person that all of his ideology has made him into is not only destroying his identity, it is destroying his channel.

See, Steve didn’t just become part of the social justice echo chamber.  He became unfathomably angry and bitter about it.  This man has a pattern.  The pattern is that anyone who disagrees with him – MRA.  Without question, they are simply an MRA.  No analysis.  No looking at their points.  MRA.  That’s it.  You could question it, but his videos have ratings and comments disabled anyway. And Groj help you if you go on Twitter.  This man blocks ANYONE who gives him any amount of argumentation, no matter how civil they try and be. He won’t hear a single word of rebuttal to anything he says, and that has not made him many friends among a community that is argumentative by nature, but who also is getting tired of social justice infusing it and trying to tear it apart from the inside.

You’d think that this kind of person – hostile, bitter, dismissing, and social justice in the absolute extreme – is the kind of person I would despise.  But I don’t.  I really don’t.  Because the truth is that Steve is not this way because it was something he looked for.  There is a video on his channel where he is talking to his wife, and something becomes very clear – his wife owns his entire life.  She belittles everything he does.  His bookshelf?  Sexist.  His liking Angel over Buffy?  Sexist (I think they both suck, but that’s just me).  It was a video where he was doing everything he could to placate her and show that he supports her, while being belittled by her the entire time.  It is abundantly clear that this man is not happily married, and that he is with this woman for whatever reason, but is scared to death of the idea of losing her.  He will say whatever he possibly can in order to make her happy.  I don’t have a clue what kind of relationship dynamic they have, but I’ll tell you what it looked like to me in that video – abuse.  This woman is, in some way, abusing this man.  And he is clearly trapped in a marriage that is toxic, having to take up this man-hating woman’s ideological crusade in order to keep her happy.

I feel sorry for this guy.  He’s a victim, and his story is tragic.  Sure, he’s also an asshole, and he’s said some really stupid shit.  But go onto his channel and find that video.  Just listen to how he tries to say whatever he believes will make her happy, and tell me that that is not someone who is utterly defeated and just trying to keep the peace with someone who he genuinely doesn’t like being around.  He is miserable with this woman, but wants to hold it together for whatever reason.  And maybe he believes it.  Maybe he has finally convinced himself that this is right, because he is becoming more and more of a zealot every day.

This man’s inability to listen to any other perspectives and his blind refusal to talk to people is killing his channel.  It’s made him the laughing-stock of the YouTube atheist community.  It’s turned someone who used to have good content into someone who nobody can stand.  He was even in a straw poll about the Mangina of 2015.

Steve, if you find this, there are ways out.  For real, there are.  There ways out of abusive relationships, and you need to take one.  Get away from this person who is ruining your life, because when you have nothing left, when she sucks up the last of your identity that you give her to make her happy, then that’s it.  You won’t have anywhere else go to.  There will be nothing for you to do.  You can still turn this around.  For real, I believe you can.  I am not on here to make fun of you.  I am here to tell you that it’s okay to break free.  Don’t be part of that toxic sludge of hate in the dank ocean of YouTube stank.  There are resources to get free of abusive relationships.  It’s harder for men.  I get that.  I’ve had friends in those kinds of relationships.  But there are tools out there.  And if you ever want to talk, you can reach out to me.

Until next time, a quote,

“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”  – Michael J. Fox

Peace out,



7 thoughts on “Another Victim of Modern Feminism (A response to Steve Shives)

  1. I’m glad you see hope for Steve Shives. I don’t, mostly due to his fanaticism over the matter. He’s deeply entrenched, and I don’t see a way for him to redeem himself to the skeptic community. For my part, I received my dose of Shives’ new attitude when watching one of his feminist videos about a year or so ago. I asked a very civil question, only to find my question deleted and myself blocked from replying to any posts on his video. I’m also blocked by Steve on Twitter, of course. I was right and truly shocked when this occurred. The skeptic/atheist community has long given creationists all kinds of grief over their censor and ban-happy behavior, and mocked their arguments that they “had” to do it in order to avoid horrific abuse. Now he’s using this exact same tactic to avoid having to defend his idiocy on SJW/feminist activism.

    • I wrote this post before his more recent foray into uninhibited salt over how much his channel is failing and how little the skeptic community respects him. After his spat with TJ and his most recent video where he basically does everything but call TJ out by name for how much he hates him, it’s clear that there is no hope for him. I wanted to believe, but those days are done. Shame that this is what’s become of the skeptic community. Guess Dawkins was right, trying to get an atheist community together is like trying to herd cats.

      • It really is tragic. You summed up that video with Steve and his wife perfectly. It was horrifying to watch. I mirrored one of his early videos criticizing Islam, which he’s now made private to remove access to it, and it’s literally night and day. Instead of making all kinds of excuses for Islam and Muslim violence, he made a lot of valid points with his usually dose of snark. The effect is certainly being seen on his sub count. His channel is bleeding subs by the day.

      • He only has himself to blame, at this point. The man has basically decided to go on a salt-rampage, attacking everyone he doesn’t like by everything but name. There was this video made where some has past Steve arguing with present Steve about freedom of speech, and I honestly think that past Steve looks happier. He’s a little chubbier, sure, but he still looks vibrant and alive. I want to feel bad for the guy, but his recent conduct and going nuts with the salt has just been inexcusable.

  2. I used to watch Shives long ago, and I ended up stopping when he started adding Feminism to the mix, which kind of feels like Atheism Plus. But that video where his wife is talking at him showed the abusive side of their dysfunctional relationship.

    And the “Buffy or Angel” question was a trap, for there was no good answer. He said “Angel,” so he was sexist for “relating to a man.” Notice how she says that she THINKS Steve relates as a man. This showed that she has no respect for him at all. To the other side of this trap, had he said that he liked “Buffy” better, then he would be accused of sexism for picking her so that he could ogle her on the screen.

    I was once in a highly abusive marriage and got out 18 years ago. I can still remember how difficult it was to get out, especially because we had a son. I was constantly being watched and controlled. She would always find a way to gain access to what little money we had, and spend it so that I would be trapped. In this regard, I have sympathy for Shives.

    However, seeing my old self [in a way] in Shives also gives me a great deal of contempt for him. Looking back, I hated myself for not getting out faster, and now I hate him for the same reason.

    For a while, I thought that maybe he shifted his topic to Feminism because maybe Atheism wasn’t getting him the views. But now it is painfully obvious that this was not a business decision on his part. It’s flat-out abuse.

    Shives is a dick, and I’m no longer a fan, but I hope that he can get out of this abusive relationship. She is a frightening person, and she should probably be locked up.

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