This is a segment that I just made up, because I don’t play too especially much games. I’m poor as fuck (no joke, I have been living in the poverty line for years), and as such, I don’t invest in games that I think are going to suck. If I play a game, I play it because I think it will be good. But when a game does suck, I rip it a new one. Or when a game really disappoints me, and I feel betrayed. I will talk about my favorite game of this year, but I first want to talk about my least-favorite game of this year. The one that brought me the most anger. And I’ll tell you why. Hopefully you all will be able to see where I’m coming from, but if you don’t, tell me why. No joke, I am perfectly find with a discussion. I acknowledge that my pick this year is going to be a little strange, but so be it. I’d rather be honest than try and make people happy. I don’t know how to do that anyway, so why start now?
The game that I think was the worst one that I played this year is…
Batman: Arkham Knight
I cannot tell you what a let-down this game was. Not only was it boring in SO many places, but the big reveal that this game was building up to was so bad that I saw it coming from a mile away. I fucking hate this game. I hate it SO much. More than being a game that was mediocre at best, it was the biggest slap in the face ending to a wonderful franchise that I have ever seen. Add Rocksteady pulling some Season Pass bullshit, and this game cemented itself as a series-ruiner. It ruined this series for me. Let’s talk about it.
For starters, there was the batmobile stuff. Does anyone remember the days when the Batmobile was a car? I do. I remember those days. They were cool, weren’t they? You had the iconic Batmobile from The Animated Series, or the original Tim Burton films. Instead, we got the Bat-tank. It’s was a tank. That’s what this vehicle was. A tank that I got to pretend that I was in some other game, where I could drive this tank around. Because that’s what I was doing. I was driving a tank. Driving a tank and fighting drones. Oh boy! Because those drones sure were fun, right? Yeah, because those segments never got old. Nope.
Then there were the boss fights. Or rather – lack thereof. Remember in the last two games? You had these awesome boss fights. Whatever your thoughts on Arkham Origins, you can’t deny that there were some of the best boss-fights of the game there. You had the Deathstroke battle, or the Firefly battle. Lots of great fights, that this game decided to eschew in favor of…Bat-tank stuff. I fucking hate that vehicle. That whole vehicle and how much they made it involved with EVERYTHING associated with this game took so much of the creative energy away. But the boss fights were utterly-removed, and that was just another way that this game was so BORING!
Next up, they have these awesome DLC things with Harley Quinn and Red Hood. The one with Red Hood especially! That was great! I was having so much fun! You play as Red Hood, dismantling Black Mask’s criminal network, culminating in the murder of the man himself. I was hoping for so much more! Like having you end up fighting the Bat. Wouldn’t that be cool?! A boss fight where it’s you and Batman going mono-e-mono? Yeah, I am drooling at the prospect too. It would have better if they had gotten the same guy who did the voice in that awesome movie that was made a few years back. Then there was the Harley Quinn DLC. That was also cool. But just like Red Hood, it ends right as it gets interesting. I was so damn annoyed when it’s not even 40 minutes into both and it’s over. Are you fucking kidding me?! Look at all that wasted potential! Instead of us having to deal with the Bat-tank, how about we have more of this?!
Speaking of Red Hood, there was the big “reveal” of who the villain was. Talk about more wasted potential. When you first meet the Arkham Knight, he is actually pretty cool! He even kicks Batman’s ass in one bit! Puts a couple slugs into him, and I’m like – oh fuck! This guy isn’t playing! But then he’s reduced to just some pathetic villain who is fighting against the all-powerful and never-wrong Batman. And that’s another thing –
Remember in Arkham City where they showed some of the darker parts of this character? Like when Protocol 10 was initiated, and Batman was totally cool with letting everyone in the prison die to go after Talia? Remember that? Remember how they showed us that Batman is a complete thug who sees violence as his first and only solution to any problems with a person? He never tries to negotiate. He never tries to make deals. He just fucks people up until he gets what he wants. That was kinda cool. I liked that they were taking a serious look at a character that I see as more of an anti-hero than an actual hero. Batman is a thug, pure and simple. It’s what makes the dichotomy of him and the Joker so fascinating. They need each other. Batman needs the monster that is the Joker to justify his brutality. That game took chances, and it’s part of what made it so awesome to play. It’s what made the story for that game so damn good.
In this game, though, we have to have it drilled into our head that Batman is in no way wrong, never does anything wrong, and never is guilty of anything. Hell, even his mistakes are total red herrings. Barbara is dead? Nope! That never happened. The police station getting blown up, with everyone inside blown to bits? Because it’s not like it was a massive army of drones blowing up the place. No-no, because that would be hard for people. The Bat-tank getting blown up, leading to Batman maybe having to improvise? Nope! He just had a spare! His old buddy taking on the identity of Bruce Wayne and learning his secret? Don’t worry, they wrapped that up by just…imprisoning the man. For life. O-kay.
Then there were the plot-holes. Like the whole deal with Joker’s blood and how there were cases of dying people all over Gotham. Did we just forget that…? Oh, right, it was so conveniently wrapped up in the Harley Quinn DLC to the last game. Never mind. It wasn’t like Mr. Freeze only made so much of the potion, and the rest was either taken by Batman or destroyed when the Joker stabbed him. Nope! That never happened. Because there’s no plot hole at all, is there?! Fuck this game.
But back to the shitty reveal, who didn’t see that coming from a mile away?! They literally have a scene that shines a spotlight on it! Are you fucking kidding me?! Because they couldn’t have possibly made it more obvious who he was. And it wasn’t even original. They literally just ripped the Red Hood plot. Fuck this game! It could have been anybody! Why couldn’t it have been Damian Wayne?! That would have worked. After all, it wasn’t Talia that Batman carried out of the theater that night, was it? No, it was the Joker. She said that her and Bruce had spent some time in Metropolis, hinting more than a little not-subtle-y that it was naked time. Bruce wouldn’t be the first idiot who forgot a condom. Hell, it’s comic book logic. They always pull that shit. Why not go that way? Where you have Damian looking to get revenge on dear old dad for what happened with his mom? After all, with both her and Raz dead, and the Lazarus Pit destroyed, the organization surrounding him would have fallen apart. A boy, whose entire life crumbled. That would fit for a Batman offspring, wouldn’t it? In a cruel kind of irony, yeah!
That game was the ultimate form of wasted potential, and I am so fucking annoyed that it took what could have been a truly amazing franchise and utterly-ruined it. But unlike the Mass Effect series, or a game series that you will see in my pick for best game of 2015, this game had nothing even remotely redeemable about it. I loved everything about Mass Effect 3, right up to when the Victory Fleet went to Earth. After that, the game turned to shit. But up until that, it was so amazing. The game that you all can probably see coming, same deal. But not this. This was just bad from first to last. Fuck this game. Fuck this game up its asshole. It kills me that the sequel to one of my favorite games has killed this franchise for me. God-fucking-dammit…
Let me know what your thoughts are in the comments. Or tell me what you think the worst game of this year is.
Until next time, a quote,
“Sorry to disappoint.” -Bruce Wayne, The Dark Knight