RAB: Dildo Pipes and Halloween Insensitivity

You ever notice how pathetic the modern world of growth is?  By that I mean the fact that humanity has been able to travel into space and do amazing things with that technology, yet here we are, still stuck on this tiny orb that orbits the Sun.  Just this tiny orb.  Just one.  Am I the only person who feels that this is so much bullshit?!  I can’t be.  Someone else out there has to be as annoyed as I am that the limits of our species productivity is to be stuck on one measly little planet.  But hey, we have 3D printers that can make railguns now!  Wow!  Isn’t that so amazing?!  We also have 3D printers that can make candy!  Well slap some syrup on me and call it pancakes!  There are also these phones, where we can download apps that drown us in stupid bullshit for hours on end.  We even have made an app to give ratings to other people!  Yeah, because that’s a great idea.

Here’s another great example of how humanity is living up to its potential.  I read a story today about a pipe that you can smoke your weed in, that also doubles as a dildo.  Did you hear that, ladies?  There’s a pipe that exists that you can literally fuck yourself with!  Because who doesn’t want to put their lips on a pipe covered in vag juice?  Ladies, that sit well with you?  Sticking something in your pussy that has had pot smoke flowing through it?  Part of me is genuinely curious.  Another part is so utterly annoyed and embarrassed by how pathetic our species is.

But wait, it gets better!  In addition to a weed pipe that you can shove in your pussy, here’s somethings else!  There’s a product that is known as cannabis lube.  That’s right, you can rub weed all over your pussy before sex.  I honestly cannot describe how much I find that fact utterly repugnant.  There’s only one way that I can adequately describe my reaction to this.

It never ceases to amaze me how little humanity is doing with its potential.  Why do we not have a colony on the Moon?  Why are there no space colonies?  Why have we not wrangled an asteroid or two and are mining the living shit out of them?  Why do we not have any colonies on Mars?  It is utterly beyond me that we don’t even try and do amazing things anymore.  Not in ‘Murica, that is.  Other countries.  I am hearing other countries talking about colonies on Mars by 2020.  That’s impressive!  You know who should be heading that?  How about this country?  How about America taken some of the absolutely worthless military industrial complex and invest it in giving humanity a future?  Groj-dammit, we are coming out with a new shitty phone every few months.  Why can’t we be coming out with a new spacecraft that quickly?  If we were actually trying to invest in humanity’s future, this country would have production plants where we would be revolutionizing and building spacecraft.  America would be at the head of a mining effort that is absolutely sustainable and could take some of the heat off this world.  There is NO reason why we can’t invest in asteroid mining.  Or space travel in general.  We invested over $1 trillion in the F-35.  It doesn’t even work!  It will never see combat, and we sunk that kind of money into it!  Fuck me!

But maybe humanity isn’t supposed to last in the long term anyway.  After all, it’s another year that Halloween is rolling around, and the social justice crowd is in full swing talking about how awful and degrading and racist and every buzzword under the sun this holiday is.  I swear, BuzzFeed should just change its name to – Fck White People!  Especially White Men!  At least then, I could admire their honesty.  If the social justice crowd actually knew how to have fun, what a wonderful world it would be, am I right?  If they were able to take their minds off the ableist, sexist, transphobic, whatever bullshit sensors that run their lives, and instead make them actually decide to enjoy this time that they are given, who knows how things would get better.

There was a great video by The Vivian Project where she tells the story of a former roommate of hers that went full into the social justice mindset.  It sounds like it was so miserable.  To live your life constantly feeling oppressed and choosing to take every little thing as some horrible slight against you.  I honestly felt a little sorry for the girl in her story.  A pity that it ended the way it did.  But I recommend finding that video.  It will really change your perspective on these people.  How miserable a life must one lead where you are constantly having to point out how bad things are?  These people couldn’t like a video game that should have appealed to them because there were no women writers.  They hate on a video game that is based on Celtic lore, because there are no black people.  Wrap your head around that one.  They had to make a huge issue about a character that had NEVER been indicated to be trans, and make it a button issue because, “stop oppressing us!”

Life is short, SJWs.  There is no shame in realizing that things are what they are and trying to enjoy what time you have, the best way you know how.  To step out of the echo chamber for a while and just enjoy something because it makes you feel good.  I know, that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to you.  To just take something in and enjoy it because it’s a quality product.  I do it every day.  Granted, there are still things that annoy me.  But I don’t let that annoyance consume my life.  I get annoyed, feel the feel, then move on.  It’s a good way to do things.  Because if I didn’t, then this annoyance would become my entire life.  Just like it does theirs.  They see Halloween costumes and are angry at them.  Costumes.  A fucking costume is upsetting these people.  I can already hear the people who are going to come in here…

But Lucien, this is their culture!  How would you like it if people made fun of your culture!

How do you know it’s making fun of it?  No joke, how do you know that?  Are you in their heads?  If, a couple years ago, someone dressed up as PSY and did that stupid dance, does that make fun of South Korean pop culture?  If someone puts on white face paint and goes as some gothic emo kid, does that make fun of goth culture?  What if someone just wants to have fun, and likes that look?  How is that making fun of another person’s culture?  I legitimately want a fucking answer to this, because it’s so dumb.

In other words – it’s a fucking holiday about kids and candy!  Have fun with the kids and the fucking candy!  Or go get schnockered with some people.  Actually live a little.  You might just like what you find.

Until next time, a quote,

“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”  -Professor Farnsworth, Futurama

Peace out,

Maverick

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