I make no secret of the fact that I am pro-choice. I believe that every woman should have the right to choose what happens to her body. It’s a right that gets shit on by Republicans, like the ones who are trying to defund Planned Parenthood. Yeah, because all the good they do besides abortion (it accounts for roughly 3% of their provided services, annually) will just totally be found someone else, right? It’s not like women in unbelievably poor neighborhoods go to them and get breast cancer screenings and birth control. Which, by the way, if you are so against abortion, then you fucking better be for contraception. It stops girls from having to have abortions. Ignorant fuckers.
However, I am the first to realize that when it comes to women having to make the choice of having an abortion, it is not something that comes easily. There is a story connected to this. Not of me, but someone who, despite what went down between us, I still do care very deeply for. Even if she does not. But there is this hashtag trending called #ShoutYourAbortion. In it, you have these women who are talking about how great getting an abortion was, and some of those statements are just disgusting to read. It makes the pro-choice movement look like a bunch of vile people, when we have a cabal of women who are singing about how great getting an abortion was. When I read stuff like that, it makes me think that there are women, plenty of women, who have absolutely zero empathy. Like the woman who talked about how getting an abortion was great because it freed her up to pursue her career.
This leads into the story. I had a friend who was very dear to me. She still is, even if she hates my guts, for reasons that I wish I knew. She was dating a guy who viewed her as a living sex toy. She was new to sex, and scared of it too. He exploited her naivety and used it to get what he wanted, as often as he wanted. Eventually, mistakes were made, and she found out that she was pregnant. This girl had lived her entire life in poverty. She grew up in it, and she was still in it. She was trying to go to college to get out of poverty. To which she would eventually graduate in the top 10 percent of her class. This girl knew that if she gave birth to this child, it was going to destroy any chances of getting that future, because then she would be financially in beyond dire straights. Not only that, but even paying for the childbirth at a hospital would have destroyed her finances. Calling her desperate is underselling it. Way she told it, she spent days crying because she didn’t know what to do. Eventually, she made a decision. It was one that she made alone. She didn’t tell her parents. She especially didn’t tell this guy. It was made alone. It was a decision to go to Planned Parenthood and get an abortion.
I met her during the time when this was going on, and I never knew. She kept this so close, and only revealed it to me when she was certain that I was someone she could trust. She told me about how the decision to do that haunted her for a long time. She still thought of it, every now and then. I can already hear the pro-life people ready to swoop in and declare that this is why she shouldn’t have gotten that abortion. But she said that she believes she made the right choice. She drove in to Planned Parenthood, alone. Got the procedure done, and then had someone else she trusted with all her heart to drive her home.
You know what she isn’t doing? She isn’t about to #ShoutYourAbortion. She isn’t about to sing about how fucking awesome it was to get that abortion done and how it made her life so much better. Getting an abortion is a huge and scary choice for each and every woman to make. At least it should be. I believe women should have a choice, but I also recognize that there is a bunch of cells in that person that could become a human being that is being destroyed. I don’t think a fetus is a person, but I think that we do have to at least acknowledge that a potential human life is being destroyed. This stupid hashtag is taking what should be something treated with the utmost seriousness and making it into just another rallying cry. Another stupid feminist issue to make into WAY more of a deal than it has any right to be.
An abortion is a personal matter, and should be treated as such. At least, that’s how I think.
Until next time, a quote,
“When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.” – Jarod Kintz