Let People Be Who They Are (A response to Nicole Arbor)

It’s funny – for all the shit that men like me take for how we like seeing sexy women in things and how that makes us totally sexist and awful, the most judgmental and sexist thing that I have ever heard said about women, come from other women.  If you could see some of the shit that women on the third-wave feminism side of the fence have said to Mercedes Carrrera because she works in porn.  The endless outrage about celebrity women is all from other women who have to try and bring them down somehow.  It’s almost amazing.  Now, I have found a person who believes that women who post sexy pictures on Instagram are worthless because they aren’t making money.  I shit you not.  I’ll share the video, then we can talk about it.

First, let me extend my apologies for everyone who had to watch that.  I fully realize that I have made everyone who saw that dumber.  My bad.  But hopefully you’ll agree that statements like the ones in that video need to be talked about.  Why?  Because this person is so genuinely unpleasant to listen to.  However, let me give some context before we get into that.

I have been running this website for going on six years.  This has been my passion project.  I am making no money from this.  Believe me, I wish that I was.  Times like these that I wish I could cash in on that Patreon money.  If the radfems can do it and make a shit-ton of cash while making no content, why can’t someone who posts things almost every day make some money?  It only seems fair.  Still, this is a passion project that I have.  It is what I have put so much effort and time into.  This means something to me.  I like to think that I have been getting better and better with practice and effort.  That that quality of the work on this site has improved.  Whenever I look at my early stuff, I can’t help but think that I’m right.  Still, that’s the driving force behind what I do here.

With that in mind, let me say something – ladies, if you have a passion for posting pics for yourself on Instagram where you are showing off, trying to be sexy, or whatever, then do that.  I posted a shitty selfie that I took of myself on Instagram, just to mess with people.  It’s a new thing, for me, so I don’t have much going with it right now, but it was something I wanted to do.  If you feel the confidence to show off your body and to show off how good you feel you look, then do it.  Do NOT let people like this tell you that your putting your work out there only has merit if you are making money off it.

Part of the reason I say that is because this woman is SO wrong.  Let me explain.  Ask anyone who is a big deal in a world outside of celebrity gossip.  They will tell you that they had to start small.  Bill Gates started his work by dropping out of college and working with tech so basic that it is hard to imagine now.  My favorite YouTube personality started out by making videos on his shitty webcam.  For real, his early stuff was so raw that it is kind of hard to watch.  But over time, his name grew and he got a following.  Now, he has over 700,000 subs and both a good channel and a podcast that he is one of the stars of, along with his brother and friend.  This is a person who started small and worked hard to get where they are.  Well, as hard as he can.  He admits to being kind of a lazy slob.  Still, that’s how this works.

I have no doubt that I will never grow to that level of popularity.  The written word is SO passe in the modern world.  Go to any comments section where people post thoughts that are large or worth extrapolating on and you’ll see at least one person post, “tl;dr” beneath it.  That’s the world that we live in.

But not only that – how is it that I can be called sexist, when this woman is basically saying that woman’s sexual expression is only given value on if you are making money from it.  So, you must have a great deal of respect for strippers or Hooters girls, right?  I’m to extrapolate that those women have more value than women who post on Instagram?  How is that a woman making a blatant judgment on a woman’s value is viewed as less sexist than people like me, who admire beautiful woman without reducing them down to how much money they make?  This is the most sexist video that I’ve seen in a while.  Let me put out there that I have no problem with strippers or Hooters girls.  We all gotta make our way in this world.  You do what you need to get by.  I don’t frequent either of those places excessively much, but I will never shame a person doing what they need to get by.

In the end, ladies, do what you feel is a good form of expression.  Be who you are.  Because here’s a sobering thought – we only get one shot at this.  There is no afterlife.  There’s nothing after all this is over.  When it’s done, it’s done.  We get one chance to truly live on this planet, so live as well as you possibly can.  Lest you wake up one day and realize that you wasted all of your life on stupid bullshit.  Like me.

Until next time, a quote,

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”  -Oscar Wilde

Peace out,



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