Here’s something to know about me – I love sex. I don’t have it anywhere near enough, but I do love it. Who doesn’t? No joke, who doesn’t like sex? Actually, scratch that. I have a friend who hates everything to do with sex. She is like no one I have ever met before. There was one other person who told me once that she liked nothing about sex. However, that eventually changed. Like many things about her, and I, and us. A sad, miserable story. One that I have no desire to tell all of you. Trust me, you wouldn’t enjoy it, anyway. Personal drama is never interesting. Still, there is a part of me that will always have a great deal of affinity for sexuality, regardless of my lack of availability. It is a wonderful thing, and should be loved by everyone. Unless you are like my friend and hate it. In which case, you are totally alien to me.
Another thing I love is violence. I play violent games. Quite recently, I have been utterly-hook on Bloodborne. A game that takes Lovecraftian horror and runs with it, in probably the greatest omage of all time. It takes the elements and brings them up a notch. Instead of the cultish behavior of a place being some backwoods village or something, it is an entire civilization who becomes enraptured on a religion based on ancient gods. It’s amazing, and the story just keeps getting better and better. Even having beat it, I am still so addicted to the chalice dungeons and all the mysteries. The game is a vast web of story that is hard to piece together. It is also violent as fuck! After playing in an area and not dying, your character comes to be covered in blood. My latest character gets so blood that her blonde hair becomes red with it, after a while. You use a giant serrated saw blade to hack up enemies, with their blood going everywhere. It’s amazing. I love everything about it. For real, this is an awesome story. The violence, the horror, the darkness. Call me in love. Then there’s the shameless carnage of Dead Space. In that game, you strategically dismember alien space-zombies and giant monsters. It’s great.
Something I noticed as I grew up – violence has always been a part of my life. For real, as a kid, I was hacking up monsters with the Master Sword in Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. There was my favorite superhero, Batman, beating the stuffing out of villains. No joke, he REALLY worked people over sometimes. It’s part of why I like him so much. He’s more anti-hero than superhero. An interesting guy. But yeah, there are so many characters I grew up with who are so violent. Yet, that is treated like it’s just par for the course. There was rarely any blood in stuff, growing up, but it could be pretty gruesome.
Then there was sex. Sex was treated like a disease, growing up. Like seeing boobies was going to really fuck me up for life. Another thing to know – my parents bought me a whole series of nature videos when I was young. They were meant to be all educational and whatnot, but they failed to understand that they were also violent as fuck. No joke, you watched animals ripping other animals apart! I loved them. Yet, when I first started looking at porn, my mother lost her shit. That seemed so strange, to me. Seeing a movie where a bunch of children are lightsabered apart is cool, yet a naked woman is wrong? This was strange, to me. Now, all these years later, it is still strange to me.
Here’s a fact – tits have never killed anyone. Not intentionally, anyway. You smother a guy in tits, he can die, but the reality is that tits have never killed a single person. What about guns? As a weapon, guns kill people all the time. They are used by our military to kill brown people that we are occupying their countries for NO good reason. They are used by criminals to continue the drug war that our country feels the need to continue for reasons that make NO fucking sense to me. The reality is that guns are used to spread death almost as much as mosquitoes. No joke, those little bugs have killed more people than all the wars in history combined. The disease that they spread is the stuff of legends. It’s kind of scary. Something so tiny could easily lead to the downfall of the human race, if the wrong disease got wide-spread. Think of the shit in the CDC, and imagine that getting spread all over the world. It’s nightmare stuff.
Back to the point – sex has never been used as a means of killing a person. Though, even if it was, it never has been on a wide scale. Not the same way the proliferation of arms has. So why is that that sex is so terrifying to people? What is it about the acknowledgment of tits that makes parents wet their pants? I genuinely don’t see the problem. If I had a kid (Spirits forbid) and they started looking at porn, I would sit them down and tell them that porn is SO fake and that real sex is nothing like that, but I get that they are going to look this stuff up anyway, because they are learning about boobies. I would then give them the name of some porn sites to visit, and make sure I have the latest virus protection on my computer. Wait, never mind. I’ll send them to Tumblr and have them look up porn tags. God bless the Internet.
What is it about sex that just makes this country so uncomfortable. That’s not a rhetorical question. I really want to know. If there are any parents in my audience, what is it about the idea of children learning about fucking that is so off-putting, to you. Or maybe you are like me, and it isn’t. If so, explain why you are able to come to terms with it. Let’s have some discussion, because I find all of this rather fascinating. We need more discussion, because the reality is that if we can stomach a hail of gunfire that decimates orphans, yet are totally going to lose our shit about Miley Cyrus exposing her titties, then what does that say about our society? I want it on the record that I think Miley Cyrus is a terrible musician, but I don’t get why people find her showing her tits so offensive. Let the deformed, former child-star show her titties. That hurts no one. Not one person.
Anyway, let me know you thoughts in the Comments. If you want to call me a disgusting pervert, I’ll give you all the platform you like. But let’s talk about this. It needs to be.
Until next time, a quote,
“Dragons haven’t won a war in over 300 years. Armies win them all the time!” -Tywin Lannister, Game of Thrones