I just found out yesterday about a new app. One that is making waves in the SJW community. See, this app is used so that couples who want to engage in intimacy can confirm that they consent. A nice way for one member of a couple to tell the other person that they don’t trust them enough to not have rape called on them. Or, that they aren’t trusted enough not to rape. Depends on who poses the idea, and why. Talk about a way to kill the mood. “Hey baby, I love you and all, but can we use this app to confirm consent, so in case you rape me, I can have clear and definitive evidence for the police?” Yeah, if someone were to give me that line, not only would I not want to get with them, sexually, I would probably discontinue speaking to that person forever. Because nothing says love like being told that you might be a rapist.
But there is a darker side to this. A side that has me genuinely feeling like I am looking into a dark abyss and that there is no way out. There’s no other side to this darkness, and to stare into it for too long is terrifying. And all of that fear is centered around something that each and every one of us has, right now. Some of you are reading this on it. Others have it nearby. But it is a part of each and every person who is reading this’ life, and it’s something that you can’t really escape. I’m talking about your phone.
When cell phones truly took off, there was a market that was being opened up. The tech got smaller and smaller, along with more and more advanced. It was new, exciting, and made each of us feel like we were in Star Trek, with our very own tricorder/communicator. It’s cool, when you think about it. More and more, we found new and better ways to use our phones. They became our entire world. Whole businesses can be run on one. A company can be made or broken based on what happens on your phone. Reputations can be destroyed based on what’s on your phone. The phone in your pocket or your hand controls your entire life. We have given this little piece of technology unimaginable power. It tells you where to go. It tells you when to go places. Don’t know how to do something? Don’t worry, your phone knows. Just go into the Google app and find out whatever you want to learn. Isn’t this product versatile?!
This app, however, to confirm that people consent to sex, shows me a darker side. A side that is genuinely frightening. Because it tells me that we may have hit a point where there is no return. A point where our ability to express our humanity is fading away. Because really think about it – you are giving your phone the ability to let you know that you wanted sex with someone. Really think about that. Your phone will be able to tell you – I wanted to have sex with that person. So, if you have sex with a person and it isn’t recorded, is that rape? Is that the direction we’re going? There’s a Pandora’s Box that is just waiting to be opened with this. Because we have given the little device in our hands or our pockets access to our personal lives. I’m not sure that any form of technology should have this kind of power.
The beauty of intimacy has been under attack for a long time now. Third-wave feminism has been breaking down all the triumph that the sexual liberation and second-wave feminism won, making sex beautiful and something for everyone. The poets and romantics who wrote great sonnets about love and how beautiful the expression of it is. All of these great minds who saw what I have always known, are now being rendered obsolete. They are being put out of our culture. Because who cares about body language and any of that stuff. Now your phone can tell you! Thank god. Because all that closeness and trust is just outdated, right? We live in the age of reactionary feminism. We live in the age where subtext and nuance are part of a dead language that means absolutely nothing.
I have had an argument with a friend tonight who disagreed. She was the victim or rape, and she thinks that this app is a good thing. It would give her safety. We had a rather heated argument. We’re unable to see eye to eye. She sees a way to keep herself safe. I see another way that we’re taking away all the emotional expression of humanity. Because what does that say about humanity, when we are turning intimacy and sexuality into a legal contract. That’s basically what this app does. It turns sex and love into a contract. A binding contract that says that this person either isn’t a rapist or didn’t accuse them of rape. What a world to live in.
So much of the beauty of the human experience is being given over to our technology. Everywhere I go, I see people glued to their phones. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I am out to dinner with someone and they get on their phone. Now, when our phones own so much of our lives, we want to give them this kind of power. All I see when I see a future with this technology is a future where love and closeness is nothing but a contract, that we make with our phones. Where trust means nothing and body language is outdated. That’s the world that these people want. A world where all of the things that make the human experience beautiful are just put on our phones. Because we can make love convenient. A quick verbal contract. My aforementioned friend said that sex already is like a contract. Am I in some minority who believes that that isn’t the case? Who sees intimacy as the greatest expression of our humanity there is? I guess I must be.
But don’t you all worry. When our ability to feel and express intimacy and emotion is dried up and gone, and we are left wondering where our humanity went, we will be able to deal. There’ll be an app for that.
Until next time, a quote,
“The mother of excess is not joy but joylessness.” -Friedrich Nietzsche