Is EVERYTHING A Gender Issue Now? (A response to The New York Times)

Something to know about me – I have a decently-ranged sexual history.  I won’t go into any details.  It isn’t your business.  I’m just giving context (a thing third-wave feminists hate) as to my perspective as I get into a discussion with all of you.  I have been with skinny women.  I have been with women who have a few extra pounds.  I have never gotten with a woman where her weight was a danger to her health.  It’s a turn-off for me, and it’s dangerous for them.  Unlike what SJWs say, the Body Mass Index is a real thing, and your weight does actually affect you.  Call me a misogynist or whatever.  I know who and what I am, and I have not used or mistreated anyone I have been close to.  As it so happens, I have a VERY high opinion of sex and sexual expression.  Intimacy is the best thing that our species has going for it.  With how shitty life is, sex and love are among the few solaces that we have from how ugly a world it is.  The journey to freely express that has been part of second-wave feminism, also known as the Sexual Liberation Movement.  Some fascinating history there, for anyone who looks it up.  Along with some of my favorite women throughout history.

That was a long intro paragraph.  There’s supposed to be an article in here, right?  Don’t worry, I didn’t forget.  I came across an article on my Twitter feed today in The New York Times where a bunch of women are deciding to “say ‘no’ to thongs.”  We have decided to make what underwear women wear into a battleground.  This is just another place where the insanity of this Neo-Victorian, puritanical, third-wave feminism has made everything into a gender issue.  It’s gotten ridiculous.  Here’s a link, now let’s talk about it.

A young generation of women is discovering a new brand of sexy in the most unlikely of places: their grandmothers’ underwear drawers.

What a great introduction.  For the days when this publication was known for high journalistic standards.  But we’ll see just how low this publication’s “standards” for good reporting are.

“Within millennial and Generation Y consumer groups, it’s considered cool to be wearing full-bottom underwear,” said Bernadette Kissane, an apparel analyst at the market intelligence firm Euromonitor. “Thongs have had their moment.”

Huh.  Maybe I spoke too soon.  My bad, NYT.  I’m sorry.  I just got wrapped up in certain gender issues, I abandoned my objectivity.  This seems like a pretty decent force.  Analyzing market forces is something that’s legit.  And this woman seems to be a from a source that has some credibility.  Well, continue.

“I only wear granny panties,” Julia Baylis, a willowy 22-year-old, declared proudly. Ms. Baylis and her best friend, Mayan Toledano, 27, design the boutique clothing label Me and You. Their best seller is a pair of white cotton underpants with the word “feminist” printed in pink bubble letters across the rear. Since the line’s introduction on April 7, the panties have sold out.

Uh-oh.  I get the feeling that we are seeing the start of the abandonment of objectivity.  This seems too much like promotion.  I mean, why bring up a company that makes underwear with the word “feminist” printed on it?  You could have talked about market forces and this would have been a solid article.  Please don’t tell me that the pandering has only just begun…

Ms. Baylis and Ms. Toledano are part of an all-female creative collective founded by Petra Collins called the Ardorous that explores feminist topics from a millennial point of view through collaborative and solo art projects. For the generation that counts both Beyoncé and Lena Dunham as feminist icons, female sexuality is wielded for one’s own pleasure.

And just like that, the objectivity of this article be damned!  It’s about feminism.  What could have maybe been an interesting look at the changes in sexual expression has to be a gender issue.  I also find it interesting that you bring up Beyonce and Lena Dunham.  The first is a mediocre musician who makes mediocre music.  The second is someone who has admitted sexually abusing her sister.  What fine examples of feminist icons.  I’m amazed that I didn’t see the likes of Anita Sarkeesian on here.  She is one of the biggest proponents of this Neo-Victorian mindset where everything is seen as sexist, unless the woman is dressed in a hijab.

“Most lingerie is designed to appeal to a man,” Ms. Baylis said. “For us, that’s not even a consideration. This is underwear you wear totally for you. Maybe no one will see it, or maybe you’ll put it up on Instagram to share with everyone you know.”

I’m getting really tired of this.  Once-again, I get to be the person who says that lesbians and bisexual women are being cut out of the conversation about sexual attraction in respect to women.  Why does NO ONE else find this insulting?  I can’t be the only one!  Come on, people!  Make your voices heard!  I’m not an SJW.  I don’t mod comments.  Can some lady who is into other ladies please point out that there are plenty of women who find women in sexy clothing appealing?  Please?  Anyone?  Can we not have a segregated conversation about attraction and sexual expression, that deliberately excludes women?  Really, can we do that?

That’s not to say Me and You’s customers don’t want to feel sexy; they absolutely do. “What’s sexy for us is being natural and comfortable,” Ms. Toledano said.

And that’s a choice you can make.  One that I believe that all women should and do have the right to make.  Wear what you find comfortable.  But why are you making underwear into a big feminist issue?  Is what a woman covers her privates with so big a gender topic?  Why?  And why do you want to make this into such a rallying-cry for gender, anyway?

“I think there’s a widespread misconception that men are into pearl thong, lace contraptions,” said Ms. Javitch of Ten Undies. “To be honest, men are into girls in T-shirts and white underwear.”

Okay, no.  Who the FUCK are you to be telling US what we like?!  Seriously, bitch, who the fuck do you think you are to dictate what other people like?!  God is that insulting!  I am a fan of all kinds of things on women, but I don’t just write a girl off because she is wearing something different.  I’ve been with girls who are into thongs.  I’ve been with girls who like regular white-cotton panties and ranges in-between.  I didn’t make something of it.  Who the fuck is this person to believe that she is the arbiter of male attraction.  It’s insulting.  Just like the last thing, we still have lesbians and bisexual women being excluded from the conversation about sexual attraction to women, and it’s fucking wrong!  I can’t be the only one bothered by this.

It’s a notion mainstream lingerie companies have been slow to embrace. As the gender gap among owners of small businesses continues to narrow, female entrepreneurs are becoming increasingly empowered to fill the void in the market.

Of course, because The New York Times has decided to abandon ANY form of objectivity, they agree with this person.  Yes, let’s let a person who has NO experience being a heterosexual man (though there are plenty of gay men that I have met who can, on a certain level, appreciate sexy clothes on a woman.  Just another example of segregation in talking about sexual expression) dictate what men like. You began with market forces.  That could actually be a real discussion.  Maybe about the changing views of sexuality.  There’s a real discussion to be had there.  Instead, you devolve into a gender-battle, because you know that that will get you clicks.  This article reeks of click-bait.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Ms. Dalbesio said she was hopeful that the greater diversity of offerings was a sign that the lingerie industry is beginning to recognize that “there is not one ‘ideal body,’ but a plethora of them.”

I find it so utterly ironic that an article that goes out of its way to shame the fashion industry and make HUGE assumptions about straight men can claim that this isn’t about culture bias.  Ms. Dalbesio, your statement reeks of bullshit.  Nice work.

Can we please STOP making every single fucking thing a gender battleground?  Please? Is that really asking too much?  I’m tired of hearing EVERY fucking day about how women are so oppressed and how men like me…well, not just like me.  I’m bi, so yeah.  I guess I’m half-evil, according to the third-wave feminist meter.  Still, I hate hearing about how straight men are just the worst and how women are being told that they are doing wrong and need to act a certain way.  Where this has gone in the realms of sexuality and sexual expression is even worse.  We are turning women into paranoid Puritans, believing that all men are rapists and how every form of sex that doesn’t get a verbal consent at every phase is rape.  The power of intimacy is being torn apart by modern feminism.  The women I admired so much, like Joan Jett and Janis Joplin would beat the shit out of these social justice warriors.  How many of them would lay down and let them beat them, because they are too weak to raise up to a woman who is attacking them?

Until next time, a quote,

“I grew up in a world that told girls they couldn’t play rock and roll.” – Joan Jett

Peace out,



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